Morning light leaked around the bedroom curtains as Chris came to, the ceiling eventually coming into focus. He slowly became aware of someone gently breathing by his side. Turning slightly, he experience a sudden jolt of realisation as he found Ivy entwined in the bedsheets.
"You're interesting," she whispered, already awake. She was watching him with an apparent curiosity.
"Hi. Uh, morning. What?" Chris mumbled, not fully coherent.
"It took thirty-two pokes to the side of your head for you to wake up. Each of progressive intensity."
"Huh?" Chris mumbled again. "Why are you whispering?"
"I figured you might still have a headache." she replied, still whispering.
"But you poked me in the head anyway?"
"Did it hurt?"
"I didn't feel a thing."
Ivy smiled. "Well, then. It's ten past ten, by the way. Didn't want to wake you too early. I will borrow Titch and make you a breakfast that doesn't suck, if you like."
"No - uh, thanks." Chris said, rubbing his eyes and yawning. Ivy pouted, looking crestfallen.
"Did it really taste that bad?" she whined.
"It's not that. I'd just have problems with you… I don't know… serving and waiting on me constantly. It feels weird. I can do it myself."
"Hah! Who said I'd do it constantly? Chris, we've had the pleasure of each other's company for about 44 hours now. That's not long enough for you to be making such assumptions." she prodded him in the stomach as if to drive home the point, and he flinched.
"An interesting observation to make, considering you're in my bed." He countered. Ivy's expression dropped from amusement to confusion.
"Um… But we're friends now. Is this something friends don't do?"
"That depends on the friends, Ivy." Chris replied as he quickly hopped out of the covers.
"…What does that mean?" Ivy asked, but Chris didn't know how to respond. He was sure it would be the sort of thing she would know, if she had access to the net. She watched him cross the room, her hand idly playing with the corner of her pillow.
"Thank you, by the way." She said in a brief moment of sincerity, "I was a lot happier in here than I would have been wandering around the house."
Chris avoided looking in her direction. "…No problem."
Well great, so she likes it in here now.
He stretched experimentally as he got dressed, paying attention to his body. It seemed a lot of the aches and pains from yesterday had dulled a little. They were still there, certainly, but he felt much more comfortable than he had last night.
"Right then! Beverage time!" he wandered out of the bedroom and down the stairs. In truth he was happy to be out of the bedroom. If he hadn't been so tired, the almost-naked persocom laying next to him would've really wrecked his sleep. In fact, she very nearly did regardless. It had taken him a while to relax and drift off. It wasn't just that she was gorgeous (though that really didn't help)… if she was supposed to be a friend, let alone one he'd just 'met', was it really acceptable they shared a bed? Yesterday Chris had all but promised he would see this through, and try to take Ivy and Titch more seriously. Did they know the implications of that?
It was getting too complicated too quickly.
Titch was waiting for him in the kitchen, having clambered up onto the worktop. "Sleep well?" she said sarcastically as she stamped on the switch for the kettle. It immediately began to whoosh, pop and crackle as the boiling process began. That will need descaling soon, then, he thought idly.
"Yes, it was lovely." Chris said with false cheer. "I always sleep best when I have a persocom to cuddle."
Titch rolled her eyes, pulling a face as if envisaging something unpleasant. "Fantastic. You're such a wimp, you know. I've never seen you look so disturbed as you did last night."
"Were you watching me sleep? Oh my god, do all persocoms have to be creepy now?" Chris grimaced as he leaned against the worktop, waiting for the kettle to boil.
"I might not have mil-spec optics but I can still see in the dark, idiot. It took you more than two hours to fall asleep and the entire time you looked terrified." Titch smirked, but Chris chose not to answer.
"Ivy really would benefit from her own net connection, wouldn't she? Don't you think?" He said, concerned. "I'm not quite sure, but it almost feels like she doesn't really know what she's doing."
Titch crossed her arms and looked grumpily away at that, but Chris, concentrating on his thoughts, didn't notice her change of expression.
"Yes, well… in lieu of getting her on the web, if you don't like how she behaves you have to tell her. Just flap that hole in your face and make sounds come out. You can manage that, surely?"
Chris lowered his voice, peering cautiously through the open kitchen door. "It's not that simple, Titch. Ivy has an ESC. Sarah's way more knowledgeable on this, so don't quote me on it exactly, but I believe that now you've configured Ivy, any further adjustment is supposed to be marginal at best, and come slowly from her settling in with us. Expecting her to reconfigure on the spot would be like asking a human being to change who they were in an instant. It just doesn't work that way. At best it would probably just upset her and make it more difficult for her to settle in. We can't do that."
"I… see." Titch replied, a hint of disapproval in her voice. "Anyway, I still have a point. As much as we'd love to know for sure what floats around that cavernous void between your ears, persocoms can only wirelessly communicate with electronic transceivers, not brains. Maybe you don't need her reconfigured, but that doesn't mean you can't discuss your expectations." She pattered towards him and hugged his arm. "That goes for me as well, although obviously to a much, much lesser extent as I'm sure you'll agree… Right?" Her voice took on a mock threatening note as she grinned up at him, and Chris deliberately ignored it.
"Someone's full of herself today!" Chris ruffled her hair. "Look at you! You're the bloody worst, you are."
"Uh, I'm the worst? Excuse me?" The little bell tinkled as Titch strode across the worktop and span around to face him. Instantly her expression became amorous, her voice taking on a lower, sultry tone as she slowly ran her little hands down her chest and body. "Oooh, Chris… I'm scared to be alone. Would you mind if I… sleep with you tonight?"
Chris couldn't help but laugh. "Argh! Don't, haha, this still hurts a little!"
"What's that? Do I need my own bed? But why, when yours is so… comfy!" Titch purred, batting her eyes as she lay down and began to roll languidly over the worktop. "Ohh, so comfy… mmm…"
"Fair enough, Titch. You win. Come on, stop now." Chris hung his head in amused submission, and Titch giggled as he plucked her off the worktop and set her back on her feet.
"Are you sure? I've got a whole routine, here. It gets way funnier." she said.
Chris began assembling his drink. "You shouldn't make fun of Ivy if she doesn't know any better."
"Seriously? I can't even poke fun at her? Honestly Chris, it's like you don't know me at all." Titch laughed, waving the reproachful comment away with a dismissive hand.
"I do know, and that's precisely the problem. Flick the telly on will you?" he took a careful sip from the steaming mug. Titch poked her tongue out at him, but her eyes flashed nonetheless as she sent a signal to the home automation system. Immediately the TV on the kitchen wall popped into life, its screen resolving into a BBC news anchorwoman discussing the morning's events.
"…rising tensions across Europe as the scale of disruption continues to increase. In Britain the situation is no better, with the reports of human-persocom violence rising on a weekly basis. The latest incident, a department store in Reading, Berkshire, where an altercation between a persocom and her human owner resulted in a full-scale riot."
"Oh shit." Chris gasped. The screen flipped to a CCTV footage reel from inside the store. He saw himself and Titch from a bird's-eye perspective, angrily shouting at each other and oblivious to the gathering crowd.
"Viewer discretion is advised, as the following footage may be disturbing." the anchorwoman continued her commentary as the video was allowed to roll. Chris and Titch stood in stunned silence for a minute, unsure what to say as yesterday's events unfolded on the screen.
"Are we in trouble? We're in trouble, aren't we?" Titch asked.
"Shh, shh… listen." Chris hushed her down, holding up a hand as the television continued.
"…around the world, more eyes than ever are now turned to their respective countries' leadership for an answer. Unfortunately, no such answer is forthcoming. The British government currently have no plans to address the matter of malfunctioning persocoms and persocom manufacturing companies are similarly reluctant to offer a solution." the screen changed to a graphic of the top five UK manufacturers, their logos filling the available space. "KESS, Ark and Coulther, NEIS, Exilogic, and Sun Persocom all maintain that viral infection is not covered by product warranties. Representatives from each company agree the best course of action if you are concerned is to shut your persocom down until a fix for the virus is found, or wipe it with a factory reset and start afresh; a procedure that will cost you all your data." The screen moved back to the newsroom. "In related news, attempts to contact the last surviving member of the team originally responsible for inventing persocom system architecture remain unsuccessful. Chitose Hibiya, who in combination with her late husband Ichiro Mihara helped realise persocom technology, has been missing for at least three months."
"Wow," Chris murmured. It never occurred to him that the inventors of persocom system architecture might have some valuable feedback about the virus. He wondered what had happened to her.
"If you helped create a worldwide technological phenomenon and it went haywire years later, you'd lay low too." Titch seemed to be reading his mind while she gazed at the screen. "She must be under a ton of pressure right now."
"…with the lack of distinct answers leading people to ask; will it always be this way? Are persocoms doomed to break down and malfunction? And how can society cope-"
"Oh god, this is bad." Chris ran a hand through his hair and stared hopelessly at the floor as his thoughts flew back to yesterday. How was he going to show his face at work now?
"What are we gonna do?" Titch asked. "Do you think they can identify us from the video?"
Chris shook his head. "Let's hope not. The lights in there were too dim to see us very clearly. The video kind of gets messy when thing start to kick off as well, so it can't be too useful. No, I'm sure we're fine."
Titch opened her mouth to reply, but something interrupted her. She immediately began to look worried. "Uh - oooh, problem. You have an incoming call." She looked at him uneasily. "…It's bossman."
"Ohhh shit!" Chris swore again, nearly dropping his coffee. The director of software development at NEIS. "Shit! Shit!"
"It's ringing. Come on, what do I do? Shall I take it or hang up?" Titch pressed. "Quickly now, decide!"
"Take it!" Chris blurted. Titch spared him an apologetic look before her eyes glazed over. When her mouth next opened, it was a man's voice speaking.
"Barker!" It shouted. "What the fuck did I just see on the national freaking news?"
Chris gulped. Well, apparently some would find it easier than others to identify them from the video. For the briefest instant, it was tempting to try and feign ignorance. Very tempting. "Uh… John! H-hi. It… wasn't my fault! Let me explain-"
"You're not supposed to fight with the fucking office equipment, Barker! You're DEFINITELY not supposed to start a fucking PR apocalypse in the middle of the high street! The phones won't stop ringing! It's even pissing LOKI off! So by all means, explain away!"
Chris held his head in his hands. "LOKI too? Oh, christ. I'm so sorry, John. We were… having a discussion… and we upset another persocom. He became aggressive. I tried to calm him down but he wasn't having any of it. He was shouting down the whole store. Next thing I know everyone is fighting. All I wanted to do was get out of there, I swear."
"So what you're saying is it WAS your fault? That's a shitty explanation!" The man shouted. "Do you think NEIS can afford to have its employees running around picking fights with its own products? That's right, you nearly lost your job today. But, I convinced HR you were too valuable an asset working to understand this virus. Needless to say this was for the company's benefit, not yours. You owe me progress. Get it? BIG TIME. Don't fuck up again!" Titch blinked in disbelief as the line went dead.
Chris stood there with his mouth hanging open, trying to process what happened.
"Did you just get almost-fired?" Titch gasped incredulously. "Did he just call me 'office equipment'?"
"Yes and yes." Chris mumbled, staring into the middle distance. "That was bad. Ohhh, that was bad." Both of them fell silent and shared a worried glance. Titch reached up at him wordlessly, making grabbing motions with her hands; she wanted to sit on his shoulder. Of course… if he was fired, they'd take her away. He picked her up at once, and she snuggled into his neck.
"… of online attacks have been escalating in recent weeks, targeting banks and national security institutions in countries across the globe. Cyber-security experts have concluded there is no unique single-source of the attacks, leading to a lot of finger-pointing in political circles as governments accuse one another of taking advantage of the chaos to engage in a little espionage." the TV blithely continued, showing a map of Earth with thousands of bright lines superimposed upon it to represent flows of data between countries.
"Turn that off, please." Chris murmured, reaching for the coffee again. The TV flicked off at Titch's command while he took a long drink. "Bloody hell. Never mind today, I think I want to go back to bed again."
"May I make a counter-suggestion?" Ivy's voice came from the kitchen door. She wore the clothes she'd 'borrowed' from the store yesterday, and she held something in her hands. It was a compact disc case. "We don't have to do anything important today. So instead of stewing over everything, why don't we all just unwind a little? This looks interesting, let's mess around with this."
"Where did you find that?" Chris asked as Ivy crossed the room.
"Slung in a box along with lots of other things. One of many that I tidied up on the first night, might I add." she smiled, handing him the disc. It was an old video game.
"Wow, I haven't seen this thing in years. It was already really old when I got it." Chris said, studying the old disc casing. Its cover was emblazoned with the game title and graphics on one side, and an enthusiastic blurb and screenshots on the other.
"What is it?" Titch said, leaning out from his shoulder to get a closer look. So close to his ear, Chris could just barely hear her optics trying to zoom in on the cover. He held it up for her to examine. "It's a game; a classic first-person shooter. I actually like this idea, maybe we should try it. I'll have to dig through the loft for a system that can play it, though. This thing is so old it predates persocoms!"
Ivy beamed, clapping her hands. "I've never played video games before! Exciting!"
"Actually this one is supposed to be scary," Chris said, "It takes place in the future where humanity is a space-faring civilisation. It was critically acclaimed back in the day, although it didn't sell too well, all things considered. I thought it was great!"
"Wooow, I didn't know you used to be fun, Chris." Titch grinned wickedly, ducking his finger as he tried to poke her. "I've never played games like that either. Let's do it!"
Chris grabbed her and put her back on the worktop. "Meet me in the lounge in ten minutes," he said, as he went to rummage in the loft.