After lunch, I managed to slip away from my friends. What Lenalee had said in the library was really bothering me. I had been able to determine that she actually thought we were training, and wasn't using it as a euphemism like I had initially thought. And while that eased the panic I was feeling, it left a troubling question behind: was it really possible that having sex with Kanda every night was hindering my progress?

I found myself outside in the garden. It was a little chilly given that it was the middle of October, but it wasn't on the list of places where my friends would look for me. I wandered aimlessly around, lost in thought.

When dinner time rolled around, I let my hunger lead me back inside. Aside from a massive headache, all I had accomplished was deciding that I needed to talk to Kanda. I was scared to do that though. He wasn't going to react well to what I was going to say.

Dinner wasn't the place for that conversation though. Not with Lenalee and Lavi around. As it had been since Lavi returned from his last mission, the conversation that night was "how much can we embarrass Allen?" It was getting really old. At least they seemed to be running out of topics.

Or that's what I thought until Lenalee opened her mouth. "Hey Kanda, I mentioned this to Allen earlier, but I need to tell you too. Let him sleep tonight. There's no need for the two of you to be up half the night sparring."

Kanda's chopsticks snapped in half. A finder walking by dropped his tray. All activity around us stopped as everyone turned their attention towards Lenalee. She blinked. "What?"

I buried my head in my hands and groaned. "Could you please word that differently? Please?"

"Why? What's wrong with how I worded it?"

Lavi made a weird noise, and it took a second for me to realize that the bandages on his broken nose had garbled his laughter. "It sounded like you were talking about sex."

"Really? That's disgusting. You men need to get your heads out of the gutter." Lenalee glared at everyone until they went back to their food.

When we were no longer the center of attention, Lenalee turned hers back to Kanda. "Anyway, what I was trying to say is that Allen has been pushing himself too hard. He trains by himself all day, and then when you get home he goes off and trains with you. He needs to get some sleep."

Kanda scoffed. "That's not my problem. And you're underestimating the brat. From what I see he's not pushing himself hard enough."

I blinked at Kanda, trying and failing to read the expression on his face. "What's that supposed to mean, Bakanda?"

"You're being a wuss, Moyashi."

"Take that back!" I slammed my hands on the table as I stood up.

"I will not." He stared up at me without moving. "When you lost your arm, you fought with Fou for so long that she couldn't keep up her form anymore. And now you're so tired that you can't keep up with your normal routine? That's pathetic."

I didn't know how to react to that. If we were alone I could have conceded that he had a point, but in the middle of the cafeteria...

"Allen. Sit down." The look in Lenalee's eyes said to do as I was told or there would be trouble. "And you, Kanda, I was talking about tonight, not in general. There was no need for you to go off on Allen like that. Apologize."

"Hell no! I don't want an apology from that bastard!"

My outburst came at the same time as Kanda's retort. "Mind your own business, woman."

We glared at each other for a brief moment, then Kanda threw his busted chopsticks down on his tray of half eaten soba and stormed off. His body language told me to fuck off, but his eyes said that we needed to talk in private.

He made it to the cafeteria doors right as General Teidoll arrived. We all laughed as the samurai was wrapped in a tight hug and dragged from the room. So much for talking to him after dinner. It would take him a couple hours to get free of his former teacher. There were some things Kanda's promotion couldn't change.

While I had initially been jealous over what I imagined training under someone like Teidoll would be like, that feeling had passed. Sure Teidoll was nice, but I knew better now. Training under him would have been just as much of a hell as training under Cross was, albeit a different kind of hell. I knew Kanda was in for a stressful evening, and felt bad for my lover.

Marie and Miranda came and sat with us after they got their food. We talked about the things they had done while accompanying Teidoll. It was an incredibly nice change of subject.

For about twenty minutes.

That's how long it took Miranda to work up the courage to ask me about my cat ears. She waited until the other three were deep in conversation, then leaned closer to me. "Umm... Allen? Why are you wearing cat ears?"

I sighed and set my fork down. "That's right, you've been gone for a while, you wouldn't have heard about what happened." I gave her a half smile. "I kind of got turned into a cat."

"You mean they're real?!" When I nodded, her confused look morphed into one of disbelief. But that soon faded to something hesitant. "Can... Can I ... touch them?"

"Sure..." I didn't have the heart to tell her no. Plus it was Miranda, she was probably the closest thing I had to a mother, there wasn't any reason to be afraid of her.

She reached out hesitantly, and her hand stopped a ways away. I tilted my head towards her to show that I really was ok with her touching me. Her fingers felt really different from Kanda's or Lavi's, their touch was so light and gentle.

I smiled at the shocked look on her face. My ears moved with the expression, causing Miranda to gasp and pull her hand away. She gave me a smile, but it was forced, and I knew it was because she would never say out loud that my ears creeped her out. "I know. It's weird. I've had them for two weeks and I'm still not used to it."

"Two weeks?" The confused look was back. "Then you weren't hit with one of Komui-san's potions?"

I sighed. "No. This is the work of my Innocence. I got cursed by a witch, it intervened, and this is how I ended up."

"Ah. So that's why your heart rate is so different." It wasn't until Marie spoke that I noticed that the others' conversation had stopped.

I blinked at him. "What do you mean by 'different'?"

From the way he smiled at me he must have picked up on my panic. "It's faster than a human's would normally be."

"Oh. I didn't know that." I blinked at him once more before turning my focus back to my food. "But then I've only listened to it once. It was creepy to hear so I tuned it out."

"You can hear heart beats?" Lavi looked at me incredulously, but like with everything else, the broken nose garbled it. "I knew you could hear better than you used to, but I didn't think it was that much better."

I sighed and stabbed absently at something on my plate. "Yeah."

"So what else have you been hiding from us?"

I narrowed my eyes at the look Lavi gave me. "I haven't been hiding anything from you. Intentionally, anyway. There's things I haven't told you, but that's because they creep me out, not because I'm keeping secrets."

There was a devious glint in his eye when he spoke again. "Then what else 'haven't you told us'?"

We glared at each other for a moment before Lenalee interrupted. "Just answer the question, Allen."

I sighed and looked down at my plate. "Well you've seen my ears and tail. And you know what happens when I activate my Innocence. Add in my heightened senses, and I think that's everything..."

"We want details, Allen." Lenalee's tone was one I couldn't argue with.

"Fine." I set my fork back down, and moved my hands to my lap, where I absently began playing with the tip of my tail. "My sense of smell is stronger, and we just finished talking about how much better my hearing is. Really the only thing left is that I can see in the dark."

Lavi looked like he was about to explode, holding in his curiosity. "What do you mean by that?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "Exactly what I said: I can see in the dark. I know that it's dark, yet I can see as perfectly as if it was midday."

"I'm curious-" Miranda started to speak, but then cut herself off. "No, never mind! Forget I said anything!"

I smiled gently at her. "Miranda? It's ok. What is it you were going to say?"

She shook her head looking really freaked out, but after the others chimed in, we managed to convince her that it was ok to express her opinion. "From what you've said, it sounds like your hearing might be as good as Noise's. I was wondering if you can get around without sight like he can."

Everyone's eyes turned on me. Lenalee laughed. "It'd be interesting to see you try, Allen. And I bet using your hearing like that would help you adjust to how much stronger it is."

"Lena-"

"Allen." She cut me off with a stern look. "Whatever it is you've been doing for the past two weeks clearly hasn't been working. You should try something different."

I sighed. "That wasn't what I was going to say, Lenalee. But since you brought it up: just because you can't tell the difference, doesn't mean it's not working."

The look she gave me made me cringe. "There's something else you're not telling us."

"And I shouldn't have to tell you. You're my friends, you should have figured out on your own that I'm not happy about this." I stared solemnly at both Lenalee and Lavi. "So, what's the one thing that bothers me the most?"

They both just stared at me blankly. I narrowed my eyes at them. "Really? You're not even going to guess? It's really obvious..."

I sighed and lifted the end of my tail off of my lap and up to where they could see it. Their blank looks faded, but I couldn't help getting angry at them. "This thing affects absolutely everything that I do. It gets in the way constantly, and changed my center of balance. I even had to change how I sleep because of it. It's taken me two weeks to get used to it enough that I no longer have to put conscious thought into everyday actions. So before you go agreeing with Kanda and calling me a wuss, you need to remember that I'm having to relearn how to do everything."

I was wrapped in a hug from the side and Miranda started sobbing. "I'm so sorry, Allen!"

Before I could react, Lenalee had come around the table and was joining Miranda in the hug. I sat there and let them hug me. Eventually Miranda calmed down and let go. Lenalee was easy to shrug off after that.

I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out was a yawn. Lenalee smirked and elbowed me in the side. "Told you so. You need to skip your training session with Kanda, and go straight to bed."

Now that I knew her innuendos weren't on purpose, I almost laughed at that one. I stood up from the table and started to walk away.

"Allen." I turned back when Marie addressed me. "If you want, we can spend some time training after breakfast tomorrow. I'll see if I can help you with your hearing."

"Thanks, Marie. I'd appreciate that." I smiled brightly even though I knew he couldn't see it.

I paused outside the cafeteria doors, wondering whether or not Kanda had gotten free of Teidoll yet, and where I should go to look for him if he had. I had just decided to head for the training room, when Lenalee caught up with me. I smiled at her like I had been waiting for her, but inwardly I was groaning. She was going to want to escort me to my room.

Once we were a few halls away from the cafeteria, she pulled me into a hidden alcove. I found myself with my back against the wall and Lenalee completely blocking my way out. The look in her eyes creeped me out, and she began to stroke my cheek. "You know, there are ways I could cheer you up... If you'd let me..."

In case I didn't get the innuendo, her other hand slid from my shoulder to my hip, where she tugged on my waistband. I sighed and pulled her hands away. "We've been over this before, Lena. I'm not interested in you like that."

"I don't care." She leaned in close and rested her head on my shoulder. "I haven't changed my mind. Even though you like guys, I'm still ok with being with you."

"Lenalee..."

She pulled her left hand free, and began sliding it up my thigh. "Allen, just shut up and take me. You'll change your mind once you lose your virginity."

I sighed and pulled her hand away once again. She whimpered slightly. "Allen, please?"

"Lena, my mind's not going to change." Clearly, as I wasn't even the slightest bit aroused by how she'd been touching me just seconds before. And I was in love with Kanda, but that wasn't something I could tell her. "And I've already lost my virginity. To a guy. So can we finally drop this and just be friends?"

"Allen..." Her voice hitched, and I felt her tears start to seep into my collar.

I dropped her hands and gently pulled her head off my shoulder. I cupped my hand under her chin and made her look at me. Her tear stained face made me sad. "Lenalee. You are the best and most important friend I've ever had. I wish I could be the one to make you happy. But I'm not attracted to you. And it's not fair to either of us, or our future spouses, for me to pretend that I am."

Lenalee pulled away and wiped her tears on her sleeve. She forced a smile. "You're right. I'm sorry to have put you through that again. I guess seeing Miranda set me off."

I matched her smile. "You're only eighteen. Miranda didn't even meet Marie until she was twenty six. There's no need for you to hurry."

Her fake smile faded as she relaxed. I guided her back into the hallway. "Besides, you need someone who isn't terrified of your brother."

The comment made her laugh. "Thank you, Allen."

"Any time." I pointed her in the direction of her room. "Just come to me as a friend next time you need cheering up, it's hard to comfort you when you're trying to grope me. And don't do anything stupid, like Lavi."

I winked at her when she turned back to me. Lenalee caught the double meaning and laughed once more. "Oh God. Can you imagine? I'd have to be really depressed to go there."

"Good night, Lenalee." I waved at her as I walked away.

When I reached my room, I collapsed on the bed. After that conversation, I no longer had the desire to look for Kanda. The things I needed to talk to him about could wait. Maybe not forever, but it could at least wait until a time when I hadn't just been propositioned by my best friend.

I wouldn't get my way though. Today just wasn't my day.

.x.x.

When I finally got free of Teidoll, I headed to the Moyashi's room. Like he had pointed out a couple weeks earlier, no one would think to look for me there, and I desperately needed to be where Teidoll couldn't find me. So even if sitting alone in Allen's room was awkward, I'd at least be alone.

I was surprised to find the Moyashi already there. He was sprawled sideways across his bed on his stomach. His ears and tail twitched when I entered, so I knew he was awake, but otherwise he didn't acknowledge my presence. And that was weird.

I made sure to lock the door behind me, then I strode over to the bed. Allen still hadn't moved. I sat down beside him after leaning Mugen against the bedside table. "Alright, Moyashi. What's bothering you?"

Allen sighed but didn't move, he looked really pathetic like that. When he spoke his voice was muffled by the blankets. "Long day."

"That's not what I asked."

That got a reaction out of him. He reached over and punched me. "I was getting there, Bakanda. It's been a long day, I was trying to figure out where to start. But since you're so impatient, the short answer is: Lenalee."

I didn't know how to react. It was beyond strange to hear the Moyashi say something like that about his best friend. "What happened?"

He rolled over onto his side and gave me an incredulous look. "Were you not paying attention at dinner?!"

"You mean that innuendo thing? It wasn't that bad." Certainly not bad enough for him to be acting like he was.

Allen snorted and collapsed onto his back. "You weren't there at lunch. She kept it up for the entire meal. It was mortifying. And I couldn't tell her what she was doing, because then she'd want to know why I was thinking about that. And Lavi just sat there giggling the whole time."

He curled up into a ball and buried his face in his hands. "And the worst part is that I'm afraid that she might be right."

"Right about what?"

It was almost comical the way Allen reacted. He clearly hadn't meant to say that last bit out loud. His ears stood up on his head, and his silver eyes grew wide as he stared at me. Then he clasped his hands over his mouth and started shaking his head. "No. It's nothing. Forget I said anything."

I rolled him over onto his back and moved so that I was kneeling over him. I pulled his hands away from his mouth and pinned them beside his head. "Moyashi. Explain. Now."

He squeezed his eyes shut and resumed shaking his head. I smirked at him. "Unfortunately for you, Teidoll's still here. So I literally have nowhere else to go. I have all the time in the world to make you talk."

To emphasize my point, I leaned down and licked his collarbone. He didn't react, and that was really strange. So I let him stay silent while I remembered what it was that Lenalee had said... "I don't understand. Why would you be in such a panic over the suggestion that we not have sex tonight?"

"Because that's not how she originally explained it to me..."

"Moyashi?"

Allen sighed heavily. "She said that she thinks our activities might be doing more harm than good."

Well that certainly explained the Moyashi's strange behavior. It was me that he was scared of. I leaned closer and kissed him. "You need to relax, Moyashi. If you think we need to tone down the sex until you've recovered a little more, then that's what we'll do."

The look on his face said that he didn't even remotely believe me. "You mean to tell me that if I told you that I didn't want to have sex for a while, then you would actually go along with that?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I wouldn't rape you, if that's what you're implying."

The Moyashi's eyes widened in horror. "No! That's not what I was thinking at all! I was thinking... that you'd..." His voice trailed off, but I managed to catch the last words. "...break up with me..."

I frowned at him as I stood up off the bed, keeping my grip on his wrists and pulling him into a sitting position in the process. He stared at me, completely confused, as I began to unbutton my jacket. "What are you doing, Kanda?"

"I don't know where you got that idea from, so I'm going to prove to you that our relationship goes deeper than just sex." I slid my jacket off and laid it over the back of a chair.

"By stripping?" I almost laughed at the bewilderment in his voice. I let the question go unanswered, I wanted to see if he could figure it out for himself.

.x.x.

I continued to stare blankly at Kanda as he sat on the chair and pulled his boots off. I could not for the life of me figure out what he was up to. He set the boots neatly under the chair, then he caught me completely of guard when he reached over and pulled off my shoes.

I shrieked slightly and pulled my feet up into a cross-legged position. I tried to say something, but my protests died in my throat when Kanda reached up and removed his hair tie. I stared at him in fascination and confusion as he gathered up the strands and wove them into a loose braid.

I was snapped out of my reverie when he laughed at me. "What's that look for, Moyashi? You know that I prefer to sleep with my hair tied back. It's not like you've never seen me do this before."

Recognition dawned on me immediately. Kanda was stripping because he was getting ready for bed. I was off the bed in a flash. By the time I had changed into my pajama shirt, he had finished stripping to his boxers. He stood there staring at me, and the second I was changed he was pushing me towards the bed.

While I climbed under the covers, he turned out the light. The change made no difference to me, I had only turned it on out of habit. I was worried for about half a second, but then Kanda was back on the bed with me. He wrapped me in his arms and pulled me close to him. "Moyashi. You need to end the day on a positive note. So I want you to tell me about something good that happened today."

'Something good'? Did anything good happen today? I sighed and pulled him closer to me. "Well, since I'm guessing that this doesn't count... Marie said he'll help me train my hearing tomorrow."

Kanda began stroking my ears as I babbled out the story. I nodded off while I was talking, and for the first time in our relationship we slept together without having sex first.