Chapter 19

Elphie

Ugh. This stupid rehearsal. Elphie was happy for Glinda, of course, but really, how complicated was it to get two people married? Elphie had a million things to do: she had to dry clean her dress because she had just split coffee on it, she had to go get a dragon pox vaccine for her trip to Quadling Country, and she still had so much to pack! She honestly had no idea how she was going to get it all done …

"Again!" Glinda called, striding back up the aisle. "Bridesmaids, out! Elphie, behind them. Milla dearest, you're perfect where you are."

"Glin," Elphie started on their way out into the foyer. "We've already rehearsed this, like, five times. I think we're pretty good."

"You're pretty good, Elphie. But some of these bridesmaids … they're Milla's relations! They've never been to a high up gathering like this before, and they have NO idea what to do!"

As the bridesmaids walked down the aisle yet again, Elphie turned to Glinda and said, "Hey, would you mind taking my dress to the dry cleaners? Look what I did to it."

Glinda looked down and gasped. "Elphie! That's horrendible! Of course I'll take care of it! Just get it off as soon as we're done."

"Thanks! One less thing for me to do!"

Glinda smiled. "What are friends for? Now, go! The bridesmaids are almost all the way down!" And so they rehearsed. Again.

After the rehearsal, of course, came the rehearsal dinner, which Elphie would have found infinitely boring had Glinda not been there. Most alarming was that Glinda's parents seemed to have forgotten who Elphie was. "Oh!" Mrs. Upland exclaimed when she saw Elphie. "Is this a new Emerald City acquaintance, Galinda?"

"No, Momsie," Glinda answered, a bit annoyed. "This is Elphie. You remember Elphie! She was my roommate at Shiz! And it's Glinda now, Momsie. It's been that way for a long time now."

"Oh, of course, dear!" Mrs. Upland waved her off before turning to Elphie. "Are you of noble blood, Miss Elphie?"

"Momsie!" Glinda shrieked, horrified.

Elphie chuckled. "It's perfectly alright. Mrs. Upland, my sister is the governor of Munchkinland, so I admit I am from a fairly high station."

"And what do you do?" Mr. Upland asked. "Are you married?"

"I work in the Palace."

"She's Grand Vizier," Glinda cut in. "She works closely with the Wizard of Oz himself."

Mrs. Upland looked overjoyed. "Oh, how delightful! But hold on a tick tock. I'm remembering something. You're older than Nessarose Thropp. Shouldn't you be governor?"

"Well, um …"

"Momsie, look!" Glinda suddenly exclaimed. "That's Milla's mother, Mrs. Jeefer! She has her own garden, just like you! You should go talk to her!"

"Oh, that would be wonderful!" Mrs. Upland said happily. She turned to her husband. "Chuff, dearest, why don't we go talk to the Jeefers? Come tomorrow, we're all going to be family, you know!" Mr. Upland consented with a grunt, and Elphie and Glinda were left to their own devices.

"Your family is just how I remember them," Elphie remarked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Elphie!" Glinda said. "They … don't know how to act! I'm so sorry! I'll talk to them tonight about-…"

"It's fine, Glinda. They're wonderful. Besides, you should spend tonight with Milla!"

"Nooo, it's bad luck for the bride to see the bride before the wedding!"

Elphie started laughing. "Sometimes you are just unbelievable." She shook her head, then abruptly thought of something. "Hey, did you invite Lukas to this dinner?"

Glinda nodded. "Yeah. And the wedding too. He said he would come."

"Huh. I haven't heard from him in a while. Weird."

"Oh, don't worry, Elphie!" Glinda said, trying to be comforting. "He's probably just off doing some Resistance-y thing."

"One would hope."

After the rehearsal dinner, Elphie went straight to the vaccine clinic. She had an appointment, but of course, they had three walk-ins who were allowed to go before her. Nice. Then, when she finally was called back, the medic worker was not the kindest. "Elphaba Thropp!" he announced when she entered. "Dragon pox, right?"

"Yes, sir," she replied, sitting down. She rolled up her sleeve and waited.

"You know," the worker said as he prepared the needle. "You look like you have the worst case of dragon pox ever. Surprised you're getting the preventative and not the cure!"

"I am the Grand Vizier of Oz," Elphie said sharply. "I could report your sass to His Ozness and have you locked up in Southstairs for a few days. Would you like that?"

His demeanor immediately changed. "No, Madam Vizier. May I put the disinfectant on your arm?"

"Yes please." The shot only took about a minute, and it didn't hurt much. Dragon pox vaccine – done! That night, Elphie just packed for her trip, and rested up for the big wedding.

When Elphie went over to Glinda's house the next morning, she could instantly tell that a wedding was about to happen. In Glinda's room, bridesmaids in various stages of dress were bustling around her. Glinda squealed when she caught sight of the new arrival. "Elphie! You're here! My lovely maid of honor! Here, do me up in the back, will you? I must accessorize myself for Milla."

Elphie chuckled. "Go for it, Glin." After what seemed like an eternity, they were all finally ready to head to the unionist chapel.

The wedding was incredibly long. When Elphie walked down the aisle, she could feel everyone's eyes on her. There were whispers in the crowd, not because of her complexion, but because she was the Grand Vizier, one of the few people who could see the Wizard. Elphie almost wished they were talking about her skin. Then, Glinda floated on down the aisle, looking fantastically happy, every bit of the beauty queen she was. She shared a big grin with Milla as they sat down together at the front of the chapel.

Then the minister droned on about how the Unnamed God sanctions all love, no matter what the nature of the relationship is, and how historic this was for all of Oz, and blah blah blah. Finally it was time for the vows.

"Do you, Milla Jeefer, take Glinda Upland as your wife, and promise to love and cherish her for the rest of your life together?"

Milla looked at Glinda, who was now leaning against Elphie and sobbing, and spoke clearly. "I do."

"Do you, Glinda Upland, take Milla Jeefer as your wife, and promise to love and cherish her for the rest of your life together?"

"Pull yourself together," Elphie hissed. "This is your big moment."

Glinda nodded and sniffed, and then said, "I … I do!"

The minister smiled. "Then, with the power vested in me by the Unionist Church of Gilikin, I pronounce you married! Brides, you may kiss." Glinda and Milla did so, to much enthusiastic applause, and Elphie was surprised to find that she was uplifted by the whole thing.

This day may last forever,

But tomorrow never will.
And life will never seem so beautiful,

Or troubles seem so far away,
Or the answers be so easy,

As I do and I do,
This once, this day.

"Get ready for the brides!" an announcer called in the reception hall, and then Glinda and Milla tumbled in, picking up the skirts of their long white dresses as they ran. Everyone cheered, but then Milla signaled everyone to settle down.

"Sweet Oz, thank you all for coming, first of all!" she exclaimed happily. "We can all eat in a tick tock, but first, Glinda has requested that her maid of honor, Elphaba Thropp, make a speech."

Glinda shot Elphie a grin. Love you!

You don't ask for much, do you? Elphie thought as she gave her friend a look. Alright, I'll do it. She stood up. "Just to let everyone know, I was not informed of this until right now," she started, pretending to be annoyed. Everyone laughed. "But that's neither there nor here, because today is Glinda's wedding day, a day she has been looking forward to since we were freshers in college, and she informed me that she was destined to marry Fiyero Tigulaar."

Glinda blushed as everybody, including Milla, chuckled at that.

Elphie grinned. "Times have definitely changed. Glinda has found somebody to be serious with, and she and Milla are a prime example of a true, working couple, accepting each other's flaws, and … you know, usual, cliché wedding stuff. Congratulotions, Glinda. I'm so happy for you. I truly am. And Milla, I'm eager to get to know you better, and even though I'm agnostic, I pray for your wallet." She smiled in satisfaction as everybody laughed again. She sure knew how to work a crowd. "Thank you." She sat down heavily, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Hi Fabala." Elphie jumped as she turned to see her sister sitting beside her. Nessa grinned. "I'm sorry, did I scare you?"

"No!" Elphie protested happily. "I'm just surprised to see you … Madam Governor. I hear you're very busy."

"I am," Nessa admitted. "But I wouldn't miss the big wedding. Nice speech."

"Thanks. How's Father?"

Nessa's smile faded. "Not doing too well. He's got the forgetfulness syndrome."

"Oh."

"I mean, he still remembers who I am, and who you are, actually, he's sort of forgotten the way he feels about you, so he really wants you to come visit us. But he forgets the days of the week, I have to remind him to shower and brush his teeth …"

Elphie suddenly felt very guilty. "I'll visit. As soon as I get back from Quadling Country."

"Oh, will you, Fabala? That would really make his day and mine!" Nessa looked overjoyed.

"Of course," Elphie said. Her next question popped out before she could stop it. "How's Boq?"

Nessa perked up again. "Good. We split, and now he's my advisor. And actually, he's here tonight, if you want to talk to him." She smiled knowingly, and Elphie grew very suspicious.

"What'd he tell you?"

"Nothing, nothing," Nessa said, feigning innocence. "Good food, isn't it? Glinda sure picked the right caterer!"

"Uh-huh."

Most of the reception passed without Elphie seeing Boq. Glinda was scarce too, bouncing around, accepting everyone's well wishes. But at the end of the night, Glinda and Milla both tossed their bouquets of lilies to all the unmarried women at the party. "Wait!" Glinda screeched just before they were about to throw. "Where's Elphie? Elphie! Get over here! Unless you have a secret husband I don't know about!"

Elphie groaned. "Fine, Glin." She got in line, resolving not to put much effort into catching one of these ridiculous bouquets. Glinda threw first, and one of Milla's relatives caught it. Then Milla tossed her bouquet, and even though she wasn't trying, by some miracle, the flowers fell into Elphie's hands.

Glinda immediately turned around. "Who caught them? Elphie! I knew it! Everyone, get yourselves ready to have a MARRIED Grand Vizier soon! Eeeee!"

Elphie snorted. "We'll see about that," she said, rolling her eyes. "Ozspeed, you two!" With that, she started to extricate herself from the masses.

But on her way out, she finally ran into Boq. "Elphie," he started, surprised. "I haven't seen you all night! How are you?"

"Good," she said nervously. "You?"

He shrugged. "Never better."

"Look, about what happened awhile back …"

"Nessa doesn't care," Boq interrupted her. "I told you, we broke up."

"I know." She sighed. "Look, it's a biology thing: you're … fun to look at, and with Fiyero gone …"

"Your place or mine?"

Elphie stammered. "Y-you want to?"

"Sure," Boq said with a shrug. "Ever since Nessa and I broke up, I've been longing to do something … out there! You know what I mean?"

She grinned. "I think I do."

They conducted their love affair in her apartment, after a quick drink. Elphie had to admit, Boq was good in bed; he certainly knew how to give a woman pleasure. She and Fiyero had done it once, during the post graduation madness, and she couldn't decide who was better. No, Fiyero was better, and she shouldn't have even been comparing the two. That was unfair to both of them. It was just … there was no fire with Boq. She supposed that was the way one night stands went sometimes: some work, some don't. She fell asleep long after he did.