The stiffness in Mr. Knott's posture vanished as he settled on the sofa beside her and claimed her hands in his again. Kitty, still clutching his handkerchief, bowed her head and stared at his fingers. They were long, and wrapped all the way around her hands. He was speaking but she couldn't focus on his words. He sounded happy. Happy! She could hardly believe that she had not imagined it all. And should she be terrified? Because the strongest emotion she felt just then was stomach-churning fear.
He seemed to sense her feelings. "We will marry from here, if you wish," he said quietly. But she could hear the joy bubbling under every word. "In a month, or a little more, we could be at Watercress Hill together."
"A month!" It was both too soon and not nearly soon enough. "I… would like that," she said. She realized as she said it that she would like it very much. She still had one objection, however. "But my father may not consent…"
"He's already given his consent, my dear. Unless he sees fit to retract it now, and I don't believe he will." He squeezed her hands. "But if you wish to wait longer, we could…"
"No! —no, there's no need." She frowned. "I suppose I should have guessed that you would have spoken with him while I was out. I am sorry to have kept you waiting. But I could not know that you would be here."
"I know. And I do not mind having waited. I've waited this long. What's another day?" He smiled, squeezing her hands. "But I haven't seen your father today. He gave me his consent when we were at Pemberley."
"What? So long ago!" Of course. Now she remembered—rather too late—that her father had hinted as much, shortly after Mr. Knott left to be with his mother. So much had happened since then that she'd completely forgotten how much her father knew, and didn't know.
Mr. Knott blushed. "I needed a reason to persuade your father to lighten your punishment. So I told him I wanted to marry you, but I wanted more time with you to ensure that you would give a favorable answer, first." He hesitated, and his thumbs tracked circles on her hands. "I—I'm sorry if that offends you. But, I thought you were still in love with Mr. Johns, and wouldn't have accepted me…"
"So did I, at the time." She shook her head, smiling a little. "But I did not understand what it felt like, to love."
"And do you, now?" He raised his eyebrows, but smiled at her.
"Of course I do!" This kind of teasing made her strangely happy. It was as affectionate as it was provoking. "It feels like… like life is more precious, when you're in it. Your affection means I'm safe to learn to be myself. And because I love you, I want to be the best self I can, for your sake, if not my own." She shook her head. "I don't know. It's difficult to describe."
His voice, when he spoke, was low and rough. "I think you did an excellent job." One of his hands lifted from hers, reached halfway to her face, and stopped. He glanced down at it, and back up at her. "Kitty… may… may I kiss you?"
The fear and nervousness returned to the pit of her stomach, but she looked into his eyes and nodded. You love him. It will be nothing like with Mr. Johns.
He placed his hand alongside her cheek and leaned in. Kitty closed her eyes, and his lips, soft and moist, brushed against hers in more of a question than a kiss. She smiled. It was nothing like Mr. Johns, in the best possible way. Leaning forward, she kissed him back. Then she turned her head and kissed his palm.
He leaned back and dropped his hand, and Kitty opened her eyes. He was looking at her with such a mix of affection and pleasure and pride that she couldn't meet his gaze for very long, but she couldn't stop smiling.
"Thank you," he whispered. Kitty only smiled more.
Mr. Bennet was not nearly as angered, upon walking in on this scene, as Kitty had reason to believe he would be. Then again, he had barely so much as crossed the threshold before Mr. Knott was there, apologizing for the somewhat unexpected nature of it all, and the lack of propriety he had shown in allowing them to be unescorted for so long. In his hesitant way, he explained that Kitty had agreed to marry him, and that he wished Mr. Bennet to keep his word and permit them to marry, all in one long, rambling sentence.
Mr. Bennet looked between the young man standing before him and his daughter, who stood behind Mr. Knott with her tear-streaked face shining and all of her attention fixed on the man she'd agreed to marry. Her smile was incredulous, but delighted.
There was one lingering doubt that he still needed to address, however. "Will you be content to live so near to Mr. Johns, Kitty? Edgepark is not far from Watercress."
She glanced at Mr. Knott, but when he did not say anything, she looked down at her feet. "I hope I will not need to see much of him." With a start, she looked back to her betrothed. "He does not attend service at Watercress, does he?"
Mr. Knott shook his head. "When he attends service at all, he goes to a church much closer to Edgepark." He took her hand. "I will not let him hurt you again."
"I know." She smiled and turned back to her father. "If the chance of meeting him is the price I pay for marrying Mr. Knott, I will gladly pay it. Besides, his punishment will be to live the rest of his life with Mrs. Johns, and endure far too much of Amy Pratt's company. For that, I can almost pity him. I'm not afraid of him any longer. Besides, I have no intention of ever putting myself in a position where he could do that again. He, or anyone else."
"I will see that she is protected from him, Mr. Bennet." Mr. Knott stepped forward and held out his hand to shake. "You have my word."
Mr. Bennet raised an eyebrow and shook the hand. "In that case, you have my blessing."
From the other side of the door, Mrs. Bennet squealed.
Preparations for the wedding moved as quickly as they could, and the wedding was set for as close to exactly three weeks as they could manage. Unlike Mary, Kitty spent the entire time in raptures. The work she had bemoaned doing for Mary she delighted to do for herself. She received congratulatory callers with a thrill that never diminished, and could hardly contain her excitement each time the banns were read.
The morning of her wedding, Kitty snuck out of the house and ran out to the stables in all her wedding finery to remind Mr. Fields that he had an appointment the next day with Timothy Barnes to see about establishing his nephew in the stable. Mr. Knott, she knew, would be proud of her for remembering. And, come to that, she was proud of herself.
Kitty and Mr. Knott were married quietly, with enough fashion to satisfy Mrs. Bennet and enough economy to satisfy her husband. Mary threatened to come to their wedding and cry as uproariously as Kitty had cried at hers, but it was an empty threat; neither of the Wardes were in attendance.
Mr. Knott surprised his bride with a journey to the seaside at Lyme, courtesy of his wealthy cousin. There, for a full week, they had no concerns beyond whatever struck their fancy at the moment, and nothing could have suited them more. They planned their entire future together in that week, and if it came to pass, in the years to come, that things did not work out quite as they had foreseen, at least they were confident that they should never be apart. Kitty was never happier than when in his company, never more content than when settled as his wife.
Mr. Knott had, as it turned out, taken some precautions before they were wed, to ensure that his wife would not suffer in her marriage to him. He took great pains to introduce her to the neighborhood and requested that the most venerable and wise ladies of that community take her in, for his sake if not for her own (though he assured them that they would come to love her as quickly as he had), and ease her way into the neighborhood. Watercress seemed to regard the whole affair with Mr. Johns as, if not a scandalous falsehood, at least a misinterpreted affair, the blame of which was assigned entirely to Mr. Johns himself. Kitty, for her part, felt herself obligated to insist that she had her share of blame in the affair, but the society of Watercress saw it as her natural modesty. Kitty was so determined to make her husband proud of her that the improvements in her character surprised even Elizabeth.
Her intimacy with Amy Pratt was now quite as far gone as her intimacy with Lydia. Amy had no trouble with moving on to more accommodating company, and remained with Camilla Johns for some months. Kitty avoided them, and they seemed content to avoid her.
With her older siblings—even with Mary—Kitty became better friends, and her friendship with Georgiana supplied all that could have been missing in Lydia's affection. And even when her father came to visit Pemberley, he could and did visit the Knotts with a small, surprised sort of pride in this daughter of his, formerly one of the silliest girls in the country.
UPDATE: Learnt to be Cautious is now a published novel! The final draft is published on under the same title, by Jaina Kirke. It has been edited and very much improved from this old draft, and if you are interested in supporting my writing I would LOVE for you to check it out! Just search Amazon for Learnt to be Cautious. Thank you so much for your support! You were instrumental in getting this book published.
(Original note)
And that, my friends, is the end of the longest fanfiction I have ever written. I hope you've had as much fun reading about Kitty's journey as I have writing about it!
I can't tell you how much fun I've had over the past few months as I've posted this story and seen your reactions. My hope is to publish the story within the next couple of months. If you're interested in signing up to find out when the published book hits the world, please see my profile and sign up for my emails. I promise not to spam you; I only want to use the list to tell you when I've published the book. If you're not inclined to purchase the book but want a review copy, message me and let me know.
The published version will be polished, and take into account all of your feedback. But it is essentially the same story. I don't want to ever take this version down, or force you to pay for what you've already gotten for free. Your love of the story is the reason I write, and I have been burned before by authors who posted an amazing story and then pulled it down in hopes of selling it. I don't want to do that to you.
Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, followed, and followed Kitty's journey. You are the reason I write, and I can't tell you how it thrills me to see your reactions as you follow my story!