Shattered Souls

by The Awesome Novice Writer

An unexpected quarter quell. Twenty four teenagers. One arena. It's a nightmare, and I don't see myself ever waking up. *Now complete.*

50. Victory Tour

Victory Tour.

District Twelve. (Of Gangs and Wild Childs.)

If there was one district that I didn't want to start with, it was District Twelve. The reason was simple, it was because I had killed Daria and Tanner had killed Zeal, both of whom were from this district.

I don't know if this was standard procedure, or if the peacekeepers of District Twelve really thought I was in danger, because they loaded me and my escort into an armoured vehicle and had a convoy of eight peacekeepers by my side at all times.

The whole time I'm thinking of how the crowd will react to my presents. I wasn't worried about them hating me, I expected that. But what I was worried about was what they'd do to me. How they would express their hate. They might be used to the death of their tributes, but that didn't meant that some people wouldn't take the opportunity to express their hate for a career tribute. Especially a career tribute that had killed one of their own.

The peacekeepers escorted us to the district square, where I was supposed to give my announcement to the entire district, and to the world.

I was in no way obligated to say anything personal about the tributes. The only thing that I was expected to say, if I so choose to, was what had been written on the little cards that had been given to me by the Capitol.

But I didn't want to just say that their tributes served their purpose in the games and that they had fought heroically for the sake of Panem, I wanted to tell them what I felt about their tributes, even if they wouldn't believe me. I mean, why would they, a district that always loses their tributes in the games, believe anything that I say?

It wouldn't matter though, I would say what I want to say, and if they didn't believe me, so be it.

When I got called out to the stage, I could see the whole crowd of District Twelve residents glaring at me. It wasn't one of hatred, but it wasn't the look of someone that offered forgiveness. It was somewhere in between. They were used to losing tributes, but that didn't mean that they had to like it, or that they had to like me.

And even though they weren't shouting nasty things at me, or booing me, their eyes told me that they were doing just that in their minds. I couldn't blame them.

On the right side of me was a picture of Daria. Below her picture were two older people, one male, and one female. It wasn't hard for me to tell that they were her parents.

On the left side of me was a picture of Zeal. There was nobody under his picture. Zeal was an orphan who didn't have any family. If he did have friends they weren't allowed up on the stage anyway, because only family could come up and sit under their photos. I found that kind of stupid, because friends had a connection to the dead tributes. Family members weren't the only ones that were going to miss them.

I shook the mayor's hand before going up to the podium to give out my speech.

"Hello there, District Twelve." I said, saying the words that were on one of the cards that contained the speech that the Capitol requested that I speak. The audience mildly surprised by the change in my voice. "We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves."

"Make that three!" A female voice shouted out. I looked up, and saw a glass bottle with a burning rag stuffed into it. That molotov cocktail was coming right towards me.

At that moment, flash images of Victory throwing one of those at Caritta and her exploding into flames before running around blindly appeared in front of me. That same thing was going to happen to me!

"Victor Jenriko!" I heard a voice call out before I felt myself being shoved. I fell to the side before I heard the sound of glass shatter before the sound of flames ignited. A man's screams filled the air, and as I looked towards the screaming, I saw that a peacekeeper had got in the path of the molotov.

He was on the metal surface, rolling around, trying to extinguish the flames, but all it seemed to do was spread little paths of fire. Some of his nearby comrades pulled off their jackets and placed it over his burning body in an attempted to snuff out the flames.

At the same time that was happening, I saw three more firebombs appear.

"Look out!" I shouted out, before the glass bottles shattered, sending even more flames around the stage. A couple more peacekeepers erupted in flames before their allies took of their jackets and placed them on their bodies.

What the hell was going on? Was this district starting a rebellion? It wasn't possible.

At that moment, I saw four teenagers start running up the stage stairs armed with machete's. Two males, two females.

"Death to victor Jenriko!" A female voice cried out before I saw her, and her three allies, charge towards me.

They didn't make it far, because before I could even do anything, gun shots rang out and the four attackers dropped to the ground.

A peacekeeper then picked me up and carried me away from the stage. Most of the general crowd had gone missing, probably ran away when the attack had started, not wanting to get in the middle of the crossfire.

I saw that my escort was also being carried, as well as Daria's family being evacuated as well, but to a separate part of the justice building.

We had just gotten into the justice building and the doors were closing, but I saw through the opening of the double doors, four peacekeepers pointing their automatic weapons at the four teenage attackers.

"Wait!" I shouted as the four peacekeepers drilled holes into their heads. That's when the doors closed.

"What the hell was that all about?" My escort shouted. Her voice shaking with a mixture of fear and anger. "Aren't those peacekeepers supposed to keep us safe? Weren't they supposed to keep the crowd from rioting? We could of been killed!" But we hadn't, instead, two or more peacekeepers could of lost their lives protecting us. I know one of them might of died protecting me.

"One of them took a molotov for me!" I shouted to my escort. "So don't you dare say that they weren't doing their jobs!" She looked at me in shock, like she hadn't expected anyone to talk to her that way, let alone a fifteen year old girl. But I wasn't going to let her bad mouth the peacekeeper that had saved me, because he had saved more than just me, he had saved my kid as well. My kid that still wasn't even born yet.

I gave a quick thanks to those higher up than any of us on earth for making me land on my side. Who knows what would of happened if I had landed on my belly.

But there was one question that was bugging me, just why had those attackers risked their lives in a suicide attack just to kill me? "Who were those people?" I asked, looking at both the peacekeepers and the mayor, hoping that someone would answer me.

"Ruthie, Dwight, Lucy, and Russell." The peacekeeper who had carried me answered. "One of the gangs that terrorize the district, and more importantly, Zeal's friends, which might be the reason why they tried to kill you."

Zeal's friends. The friends that Daria said that didn't care about Zeal. The ones that Zeal had said to Daria that they had all been in the same orphanage together, the same one that all of them escaped because Zeal had killed the owner because he had raped his friend. The one that had been known as Ruthie.

What Daria had thought was wrong, they did care about their not so bright gang member. Their friend. They cared about him so much that they died trying to avenge him. Just like I had in the arena.

But unlike me, they had failed.

*Later*

Everyone was on edge after the attack that occurred, and while the peacekeepers assured us that nothing more was going to happen to us because the ones that wanted to kill us were now dead. I didn't think so, if Zeal's friends wanted to kill me, I wouldn't doubt that Daria's parents wanted to kill me even more. Because unlike Zeal, I had actually killed their daughter.

Even so, I wanted to talk to them, tell them that while I didn't want to kill their daughter, it was needed. I hoped that they'd understand that if I hadn't killed her, I'd of been dead, and so would of Tanner probably. I didn't expect them to forgive me, just understand.

After the party and dinner was over, I sneaked out of the place everyone was dinning in to go find Daria's parents.

As I searched, I tried to get people to tell me where they lived, and most of them didn't want to give up that information. I kept on trying though, and eventually, someone gave me the location of their home.

I made my way to their home, and knocked on the door.

Her dad answered the door, and looked at me with a look that mixed confusion and anger.

"Mr. Nettle?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes." He answered.

"I'd like to talk about Daria." I told him, to which he didn't seem to know how to respond.

"What would you possibly want to talk about?" A female voice called out. I looked beyond the father, and saw the mother, along with a boy and girl around the same age as Daria. They didn't look like siblings, so I guessed that they were friends.

"Well first of all, I want to say that I'm sorry for your loss and-"

"Your sorrys aren't going to bring her back." The father growled at me.

"I'd like to know more about her." I continued, not worrying about the father's hostile tone. "If you could, because all I really knew about her was that she was brave, crazy, and mean. But-"

"She was brave," The father growled at me again, stepping closer to me. I didn't back off, if I needed to run away, I'd do that, but I wanted to listen first. "She was a little crazy. But if there's one thing you're wrong about, it's that she was mean."

"Didn't seem that way in the arena." I told him, thinking of how she mercilessly told Zeal to attack Perla, attacked her as well, killed Adrian, and acted like a bitch towards Zeal when he had saved her from Caia. "The way that she attacked and killed Adrian and talked to Zeal."

"Listen here you," The father said loudly before throwing an open palm to my chest. I dodged it easily. He didn't go in for a second shove. "The Daria you saw on the T.V isn't the Daria that we know. The Daria we knew was reckless, always putting herself into dangerous situations that could of killed her, and while impatient at times she hardly ever lost her tempter. And if you think that she was raging out at Zeal, you an't seen her when she was angry. She was never one to hide her emotions, so if she said something, she meant it. Its what she felt towards Zeal."

A daredevil. It made me think of her nickname, the nickname that I just remembered. Dare. She said that during her reaping. The name that she gave her escort. It fitted her, I guess, because it was crazy to go against Adrian, Tanner, and myself. "The way the Capitol portrayed her made her look like a crazy, murdering bitch. But in reality, all she wanted to do was have fun and be with people." Nothing like the Capitol showed her during the gaming re-caps. "And besides, what makes you think that you're any better than her? With all the things that you did?"

I sighed and told him the truth.

"I'm not."

District Eleven (Of Searching and Lost Souls.)

District Eleven was huge. Fields that seemed to go on forever with farmers working in the backing hot sun. It would of looked really great, beautiful even, if not for the groups of armed peacekeepers patrolling the areas, machine gun nests, sniper towers, guard towers, riot control centers, electrified fences that looked like the overcharged sparks could kill someone alone, and other symbols of peacekeeper power. It was even worse than District Twelve, and I had to wonder if all the districts outside of career districts looked like this.

Like in District Twelve, we were being escorted in an armoured vehicle, but we had more armed guards beside us as well as several attack trucks surrounding us as well. I guess they didn't want another District Twelve incident to happen. Though I doubted that anyone would want to kill me. At least, I hoped that nobody here wanted to kill me.

When I got to the stage, I shook the mayor's hand before stepping onto the podium and reading from the Capitol cards.

"Hello there, District Eleven. We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves." I looked over to my left, and saw a picture of Adrian. Below his picture were three people. They looked to be his family, a mother and father, along with a younger brother. They were all saddened by their loss, but they weren't attacking me like Zeal's gang of friends.

I looked over to my right and saw a picture of Caritta. There were two people there, an older man and woman, who just didn't seem to give a care. Were they just masking their emotions? "It is because of their sacrifice that we are able to live as comfortably as we presently are." I looked up and at the crowd, and thought of how uncomfortably they were right now. They all looked big and strong, but at the same time, on the verge of dying. They were clearly hungry, and their eyes, their eyes looked like they had little hope of the future. Just like those in District Twelve, if not more. "If anything, they are one of the supporting bricks that keep this wonderful country alive and functioning and stable. Panem shall never forget their sacrifice."

I sighed and dropped the cards, no longer needing them for what I was about to say. "And neither shall I." I looked over at Adrian's family. "I didn't know Adrian long, but I'd like to consider him one of my friends." His entire family, or what was left of it, was looking at me with interest, like they weren't expecting me to say anything besides what I needed to say. "He could of easily left me for dead, left the broken alliance whenever he felt like it, but instead, he stuck through and helped me. Saved me."

As if on cue, a flashback of Daria stabbing Adrian in the neck appeared in front of me, scaring me a little. But it disappeared as quickly as it came, and I was back at looking at his family. "I wish I could of done the same."

I then looked over at Caritta's parents. "As for Caritta. I didn't know a whole lot about her, but I do know that while she wasn't the best person in the world, she at least had some good in her." Even if that good was nothing but selfishness. But she protected Selene, as best she could, that was something, right?

Caritta's parents just looked away, like they didn't give a shit.

I had to wonder if they actually cared about Caritta.

As the wind blew across me, the cards scattered into the wind. "Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever." I finished.

*Later*

I had caught up with Caritta's parents, and when I asked them about Caritta, I got something that I didn't expect. They gave me their answers, shouted them actually, and said nasty things about Caritta. They said that they didn't give a fuck about their daughter, saying that she was a useless skank that thought she was better than them. Worse than that, was that they hated her because she was bi-sexual. But the worst thing that they said was that they were only going to miss her because she was their slave.

I couldn't help but reply in shock. It was their daughter they were talking about. They couldn't of meant any of that. But then I smelt the alcohol on the man's breath and notice the tremors and falling hair on the women as well as the telltale marks of needle use. The man was an alcoholic, and the women was a drug user. Then I really wondered if they really meant that, or if they were just influenced by those things they put inside of them.

Right after, I asked someone where I could find Adrian's house, and to my surprise, the first person I asked gave me detailed directions towards Adrian's house. I had to wonder just how some random stranger could of known where he lived.

I ran over to his house, having to stop several times because of my unborn, before knocking on the door. It was answered by his mother, who was only a little bit bigger than me. Just as tall, but she looked physically stronger.

"Mrs.Colton?" I asked after I caught my breath.

"Victor Jenriko?" She asked, surprise written all over her face.

"Do you have a minute?"

"Depends." She said, crossing her arms across her chest. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk about Adrian." I answered. "I want to know more about him, not just what I saw in the Capitol and the arena. I want to know more about the real him."

"Why is that?" She asked, looking at me like she didn't believe me.

"Because Adrian's my friend, and I knew so little about him. All I know is that he tried to make it look like he was lazy, but really wasn't. I know that he was brave and loyal and someone that helped out someone else that needed more help than I did." Because he had helped Tanner more than anyone else I had seen. If not for him, I doubt that I would of seen the second side of Tanner.

Adrian's mom looked at me as her husband approached the doorway. He was a complete contrast to his wife. He was huge and muscular and looked like he could rip me in half with his bare hands.

"What does a victor want at our house?" He asked, and I was almost scared of him. The only thing that comforted me was that I was out of his immediate reach and could retreat of anything happened.

"She wants to know more about our boy." His wife told him. He nodded a couple of times before talking again.

"Invite her in." He said, to which his wife looked surprised. "She deserves to know." His wife tried to speak again, but he interrupted her again. "She didn't kill him directly, did she?"

"No." Adrian's mother sighed, defeated. She looked back at me and invited me in.

It was inside that house that I learned that Adrian and his friends were actually famous through out the district. Not only would they do jobs for the district, but they would also be the ones that would train peacekeeper dogs. I found that kind of odd, considering how they would of been criticized for aiding people that the district seemed to hate, but they were respected, even if they didn't like their occupation. But not only did they do everything for everyone, they were skilled at what they did. Adrian was never lazy, he just acted that way for some reason.

I also found out that Adrian had lost three friends in the reapings, including his girlfriend, a hot tempered girl that had came from a rough background and had a way with animals. They were complete opposites, but they were attracted to each other. They said that it was probably the reason that Adrian had stayed with us, because Tanner reminded him so much of his dead girlfriend. I almost wanted to tell them that Tanner was probably closer to Jeana than they thought.

And almost like Zeal, they didn't belong with the common folks. And since they weren't Capitol, they didn't belong with the peacekeepers either. Adrian, his family, and his friends, because of what they liked to do, didn't belong with anyone but each other. Those were close ties.

And knowing that two of his friends had been slaughtered because of Caritta's delay in volunteering, I could understand why he'd punch her and call her a cunt. Even though it was wrong to single her out of everyone else that was too much of a coward to volunteer, I understood why Adrian had unleashed his fiery at her.

I had to wonder if Tanner's life was anything like Adrian's.

Adrian's little brother also made an appearance. He was a little annoying, but I could see that he had looked up to Adrian like a role model. He even said that he hoped he could be half the man Adrian was. I told him that if his heart was in the right place, he could be just like his older brother.

After talking for a while, I remembered that if I didn't get back to the district party for the Capitol celebrities soon that they'd get worried about me and send out an army of peacekeepers to look for me. The last thing I wanted was to cause this district more stress.

I thanked the Colton family for their time and information, saying that Adrian was a great friend, and left them enough money to support them for a couple of years. They tried to decline, but I told them that while it wouldn't bring their son back, they could do more help with that money than I even could.

As I walked out the door, I knocked something over.

I looked down and picked up the item I had knocked down, and found that it was a figurine of a boy with a whip that looked like he was taming dogs. The boy was Adrian, the dogs were peacekeeper dogs.

Etched in the crude plaque was: In memory of Adrian Colton. From: Friends in strange places. S. Alcohol and tape.

District Ten. (Of Despair and Clouded Visions.)

While District Ten was also large, just like District Eleven. The only differences I saw in the district while riding the train was that it was full of animals of every kind, the houses were far apart, and the peacekeeper presents wasn't as noticeable as it had been in District Eleven. Even so, there were still peacekeeper patrols, sniper towers and machine gun nests scattered around the district. They weren't tightly packed together, but they were still there.

As I got closer to the town center, I saw that all those defences were getting tighter packed.

As I was getting loaded into the armoured vehicle that took me to the district square, the first thing I noticed was that the air was foul. And while the temperature wasn't as hot as it had been in District Eleven, the heat made the smell of animal manure, fertilizer, and things associated with farming.

The smell was so strong that it made my escort vomit. She didn't even try to cover up that she thought that place smelt horrible. I felt like vomiting as well, but it wasn't just because of the smell, it was because the smell reminded me of something much worse. It reminded me of the stench of dead bodies. It made me think of all the bodies that had been left lying around in the arena, decomposing.

I tasted the flesh that I had tasted when I had bit Victory.

My escort had a white rag covering her mouth and nose, and I would of done that as well if I wanted to be disrespectful to everyone that lived here. This was there home, and I wasn't going to disrespected them by covering my face up and telling them that I wanted to leave as soon as possible. As with the previous district, I was given an extra secure convoy of soldiers. I guessed that every district was going to be like this for me.

The first chance I got, when no one was looking, I vomited in a corner.

When I stepped on the stage and shook the mayor's hand, I looked over at the pictures of Tanner and Perla. On Perla's side was a man that looked like he was at the wrong side of seventy. His skin was wrinkled unevenly, his body looked hollow, and he was shaking like he was cold, even though the heat was hotter than the summers in District One. He looked like he had no idea what was going on around him.

On Tanner's side was a single woman that looked nothing like Tanner. If this was Tanner's mother, she must of taken more from her dead father than anyone else.

"Hello there, District Ten. We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves. It is because of their sacrifice that we are able to live as comfortably as we presently are. If anything, they are one of the supporting bricks that keep this wonderful country alive and functioning and stable. Panem shall never forget their sacrifice."

I then stopped reading the cards and looked at the crowd of starving, but physically strong, citizens that looked like they hadn't lost all hope yet. They were dirty, just like Districts Twelve and Eleven.

District Twelve, coal. District Eleven, agriculture. District Ten, farming. Of course they'd all be dirty. They were the poorest and most poverty ridden districts with the hardest work. "I won't either." Not because I wanted to, but because the memories plagued my mind. Just like the deaths of Adrian, Dylan, and Victory, Tanner's death haunted my nightmares the most. Almost every night, I would see them getting killed over, and over, and over again, and nothing I could do would save them.

I looked over at Perla's father, who was still not looking at me. "I don't know Perla, never did, but I can say she did the best she could with what little she had." I didn't know what else to say to him, because that was the only thing that I could think of with Perla, except that she was crazy because she wanted to kill and eat Zeal. Her father didn't seem to care, or even hear what I said.

I looked over at Tanner's mother and said to her. "But I do know a little more about Tanner. s-" I started, before remembering that I shouldn't say that she was a she. "He, wasn't something that I expected him to be. He did more than just protect me, he made me a better me. S... He, helped me grow up."

All her mother did was nod at me, but at least I knew that she had paid attention to me.

I looked back at the crown and finished off with. "Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever."

*Later*

A couple of minutes after my speech was over, I tried to talk to Perla's father to learn more about the crazy girl, but that wasn't possible, because I found out why Perla's father seemed to be lost. It was because he was mentally lost. When I tried to speak to him, he was snorting white crystals up his nose. He was a drug addict.

When I asked peacekeepers and normal citizens about her family, I learned that her family was nothing but addicts. Her mother, her father, their parents, they were drug addicts as well. The way Perla acted now made sense, she was an addict as well, and she was acting crazy because she was probably off those drugs of hers.

It was just her and her father because her mother had apparently jabbed a screwdriver through her eye. Though some guessed that the father had actually done it.

Perla was an active dealer as well, taking what she wanted, robbing and killing anyone that she didn't like. She was described as a mad dog, get on her bad side and you were going to pay. If she got into a fight, she didn't care what happened to her as long as she got what she wanted. Her life was drugs.

It made me feel quite sad for her. Apparently her friends, her real friends, tried to get her to kick the habit, but all she did was fight them, but they still tried to get her help. She had friends that would do anything for her, and all she did was hate them. It made me think of how I had treated Terry. He had done so much for me, and yet, all I had done was continue to beat him in training, ignoring the fact that he was getting hurt nearly day after day. I wasn't intentionally mean like Perla, but it made me think that I was like her. Her mind wasn't in the right place, but then again, mine wasn't either.

About a quarter of the way through the district dinner feast, I snuck out and asked around for Tanner's house. Much to my disappointment, I couldn't find out where her house was. Though some of the people I talked to said some horrible things about Tanner that I knew were things that Tanner would do. The stuff I heard about her were about the fights that she'd get in, the insults she would throw at people, and the way that she was stupid and selfish. If she did a good deed for someone, she would say that she wasn't doing it for them, it was for her, and that they owed her forever.

I told them that the Tanner I knew wasn't like that, but they didn't believe me. They said that the Tanner they saw during the game was a fake and that she had only acted that way because she wanted to get into my pants. The Tanner that they knew and the Tanner I knew were two different people.

Almost an hour later I was about to quit, but then a group of kids, two girls and one older boy, had heard that I had been going around asking about Tanner.

When they introduced themselves as Tarbh Finch, D'ardaigh Finch, Ilia Greenlaw, I remembered something that Tanner had said while I had been knocked out. 'Tarbh. D'ardaigh. Ilia. Thanks for being my friends. I love you all.'

"Your all Tanner's friends aren't you." I said as we walked the streets together, keeping out of the sights of patrolling peacekeepers.

"The one and onlys." The girl that had introduced herself as Tarbh said as a large piece of skin under her right eye gently whipped around. I then saw that it wasn't just her face that was sunburnt and peeling, it was her entire body. It reminded me of the District Six reapings, Caritta's burning agony before she got tortured by Victory, Vida ripping Wren's face apart with her hands, and many other facial incidents that happened in the arena. I could almost see Vida ripping her face apart, and could also see her as a survivor of Victory's torture.

With those images playing in my head, I decided that I wouldn't look at her straight again.

I looked at her brother, who had this stupid smile on his face that I didn't like. It reminded me of the Capitol men that I had to visit from frequently. I had a bad feeling in my gut as he looked at me the way he was.

"Wow." He said as he looked at me. "I can see why Tanner picked out. How about you and I go somewhere private and you can compare which one of us was a better kisser."

A flash of an older Capitol man replaced the slightly older kid in front of me, and I saw the lust in his eyes as he smiled with hunger.

Anger boiled inside me as I looked at the Capitol man that thought that he owned me and thought he could do what he wanted with me.

I knew that there were no peacekeepers around, and that if I killed him in District Ten, nobody would miss him, or report that he had been killed. So I slugged him across the face with all my built up anger.

The man fell to the ground before I started to curb stomp him repeatedly in the chest, wanting his chest to collapse.

I then felt hands wrap around me before pulling me away from the person I wanted to kill.

"Stop it!" A girl's voice shouted. "Stop it! You'll kill him!"

It was then that I saw that I wasn't trying to kill a Capitol man, I was trying to kill a District Ten teenager. As soon as I saw that, I couldn't help but be in shock and disgust. I had almost killed someone in cold blood.

If Tarbh wasn't holding me, I'd of fell to my knees.

"I'm so sorry!" I almost shouted. "I just... I don't know what came over me."

"Its all right." He groaned. "I've had to endure beatings from Tanner, your beating isn't too bad."

"Isn't' too bad?" A girl that wasn't a brother or sister to the two siblings or Tanner laughed. "That was amazing! You knocked him on his ass quicker than you could say, Tanner don't! Which is actually quite normal you know." She then turned to me with a huge smile on her face. "Do it again."

I looked at that girl like she was crazy. I didn't want to do anything like this ever again.

"Ilia," Tarbh said. "Be nice. Jenriko, I'm real sorry about this. If Tanner ever said some stupid flirt to you, you now know where he got it from."

"Don't you mean she?" I asked, wondering if they didn't even know her secret. Suddenly, all three of them seemed to stop doing what they were doing. Ilia stopped laughing. D'ardaigh stopped being in pain. And Tarbh grip seemed to relax.

"You know?" They all asked at once. I didn't know what to say after that.

"Well... Yeah." I told them. "She... Um... Told me."

The three of them looked at each other, then looked back at me.

"Well, if Tanner trusts you that much, I guess you're one of us then." D'ardaigh told me. "So why are you looking for our house? You want to see how Tanner lived?"

"Something like that." I told him. "I want to know more about Tanner. The real Tanner."

The things that the three friends told me about Tanner sounded like both Tanner that I knew. The outside Tanner that the district seemed to know was a violent person that only knew how to swear, while the inner Tanner was someone that just wanted people to notice her. She didn't care wither it was negative attention or not, just that people noticed her. Because she wanted friends, and she thought that it was too late for people to see her in a different light. She thought that she didn't deserve to be liked, but wanted to be liked anyway. That's another reason she got into fights, because people said nice things to her, even if it wasn't all the time.

She was also a hard worker, and a sweet heart as they told me, that just didn't know what to do with her life. As Tarbh said in her own words, Tanner's view of the world, as well as her mind, was clouded with insecurity, violence, and many other things that made it hard for her to do anything on her own.

Tanner wasn't really liked by anyone in the district besides those three, and that made me think of Adrian and how only him and his friends were really the only one that understood him. But unlike Adrian, Tanner didn't have a family. Those four, they practically raised each other because , Ilia's aunt, didn't associate with them that much. Just gave them a basic education, if you could even call it that, and left them basically on their own.

Those four, they were family. They raised each other, and even though they didn't resemble each other physically, I could see them resemble each other mentally.

District Nine (Of Blind Kindness and Rich Selfishness.)

Of all the districts, my escort said that District Ten was the worst that she had ever visited and just wished that it could be wiped off the map. As a joke, I covered up the District Ten part of the map and told her that her wish was now a reality. She was not amused.

She said that District Ten was the worst place ever? I begged to differ. The people back in Ten were great people. Sure I had been a drug addicted family and a bunch of kids that thought Tanner was nothing but a violent potty mouth, but they were only saying what they knew.

After I said I was going to leave, Tanner's friends/family, gave me some bottles of milk that they were going to sell, telling me that it was thanks for taking care of their Tanner and getting to see her true self.

A couple of those bottles were goat milk, which was actually better than regular cow's milk. The other one though, the one that they said was a favourite of theirs, and Tanner's, was something that I never wanted to have again. It was elk milk, and while the three of them were drinking it like water, it felt like elk piss to me. I told them that I couldn't drink the stuff, and they told me that not a lot of people could. It made me grateful that it wasn't just me.

Just like with Adrian's family, I gave them enough money to support them for a couple of years. At first, it looked like they were going to decline, but after looking at each other and the money several times, they took it, much to my happiness.

But now I was on my way to District Nine, and I didn't know how people were going to act towards me. I didn't know how Trim's family was going to act towards me. After all, we had invited him into the career pack, and we blew him up before the game had even started. We didn't even question Victory on her decision, so what did that make us look like in their eyes? Monsters? Cold blooded killers? Both?

Even though I hadn't murdered Trim, I was part of the alliance that had tricked him and killed him. I didn't know if it was going to hurt me or not.

I was escorted with an armoured convoy before reaching the district square. Once again, I shook the mayor's hand, who looked a little like Trim, and stepped up to the podium to give the speech.

"Hello there, District Nine. We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves. It is because of their sacrifice that we are able to live as comfortably as we presently are. If anything, they are one of the supporting bricks that keep this wonderful country alive and functioning and stable. Panem shall never forget their sacrifice."

I looked over at Trim's picture, to see an older women and a younger girl that looked a lot like Trim, but younger, and female. Trim's mother and sister I had to guess. And the mayor must of been his father.

A mayor's father. I didn't like that I would be dinning with him later today. I hoped to smooth things over before I had to be in the same building as him for a little bit of time before I sneak out to Wren's house.

Speaking of Wren's house, I looked over to Wren's family, and saw women who looked like Wren, if Wren had a chance to reach adulthood, and a man that looked like he was nervous being on stage. Beside him was a girl who looked like the father, was younger than Wren, but a lot taller. Wren's sister I had to guess.

I looked back at Trim's family and thought about Trim and how to best explain the situation. "Trim may of been in our alliance for a short time, but he was someone that shouldn't of meet the fate that he got. He was kind," Even if he was kind of an asshole if you didn't like him. "Humorous, and really, a fun guy to be around."

I then looked to Wren's family. "And Wren was also kind." To the point of stupidity. "To the point where she would risk her life to save a complete stranger. I know that saying this won't bring her back, but rest well knowing that you raised her to be a kind soul." A kind, dead soul that should of known that kindness doesn't fix everything. Vida would of lived without her help. All Wren did was make her own life worse. "You raised her well."

I sighed before ending the speech. "Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever."

*Later*

To say that I was surprised by Trim's family's reactions would of been both expected and unexpected.

The expected part was that his mother and sister were deeply troubled by the fact that a part of their family was dead. They said that I was a traitor and a monster for even thinking about betraying my own ally.

No matter how many times I tried to tell them that it wasn't me that killed Trim, they kept on countering with that I was part of the career pack. That I must of planned it with the rest of the members. When they asked me why I had done it, I told them that I didn't know why Victory had killed their son.

That was the stuff I expected. What I didn't expect was what his dad said. That he was glad that his son was dead. That he was a good for nothing and that the games had done nothing to make him grow up.

I told him that it was his son that he was talking about, and he said that he knew. He said that Trim was always trying to impress him, that he was nothing more than a selfish boy that wanted everyone to like him. He needed to impress everyone like a six year old would want to.

He also told me that Trim was obsessed about honour that the family had lost it when his older brother died in the games. And that's why he volunteered, to restore the family honour. Not to save the other kids, but to restore honour that was never lost, or was even there.

I asked him wither he was happy that Trim had been killed. He told me he was not, but he told me that he was disappointed with his son. The time in the Capitol taught him nothing. That he was still the same selfish brat that he had left as.

I asked him what would of made him happy. His answer? He wanted his son to stop trying to impress him. He wanted him to stop acting like a six year old.

As I walked to Wren's house, I had to think that Trim's father was right. Trim wanted everyone to like him, and that he did act like a six year old.

It was something that I noticed, and learned from people, about him that was different from what I knew and learned about Wren. Trim was famous, Wren was basically unknown. Trim was the center of attention in the district, Wren hid from everyone. Trim was nice to people that were only nice to him, Wren was nice to everyone. Everyone had an opinion about Trim, nobody seemed to have an opinion on Wren.

Two people, one district, two ways of living.

Because finding her home was so hard, I had to ask a peacekeeper where she lived. When question why, I told her that I wanted to offer condolences to the family. She didn't recognize me through my quick disguise of trashy clothes I had picked up in the coat room of the place I had been dinning in, and the hat must of helped as well, because she radioed the base, and gave me directions when she received them. I offered my thanks and raced over to Wren's house.

I knocked on the door and within half a minute, the dark haired father answered the door.

"Hello." He said simply.

I removed my hat.

"Mr.Hayes?" I asked.

"Yes." He answered.

"Do you have a minute?"

"Yes."

"I was just wondering if I could meet the family of Wren and talk to you about her."

"Why?" He asked.

"I just want to learn more about her." I told him. "I never really knew much about her, and I'd like to learn more about her rather than what I saw on the games re-caps."

He just stared at me like he didn't know what to say. I don't think he ever expected something like this. Hell, I don't think any victor in the history of the games has ever done something like this. Try to learn about the tributes that were dead.

I looked at me, and he looked at me. We both didn't know what to do. I didn't want to leave, just in case it was rude to do so. And I wanted to leave, because I didn't know if he wanted to have me here.

"What does a victor want at our house?" An older Wren suddenly asked just as quickly as she appeared. I couldn't help but gasp out in fright and take a step back, she had appeared that quickly. "Want to say that our girl was a nice girl, but was too stupid to live?" She said with an extremely bitter tone.

Despite her being five foot four and was by no means stronger than me, the way she carried herself and her voice made her seem like she was over six feet tall and powerful. I almost wanted to run away from her, but my confused mind kept on thinking: How did Wren become so scary?

"N- No." I stuttered, not wanting the tiny women only a little bit taller than me to skin me alive. "I just want to know a little bit more about Wren. I never got to know her back in the Capitol, or in the games."

"Well you won't be getting to know her now that she'd dead." She told me sourly.

"Well that doesn't mean that-" I started, but got interrupted by the angry woman.

"You didn't seem to give a shit about her back then, what makes me think that you care about what she was like now? I saw the way you looked at us back when you were talking about our daughter. You looked at us with pity, like Wren was a fool for being kind. And in a way, she was too kind for her own good. But let me tell you little girl, the world is full of hate but never enough kindness. If we don't do better, the whole world will know nothing but violence and hate." She then looked at me like I was the one that was supposed to be pitied. "You of all people should know."

"I don't-" I started, but once again, I was interrupted.

"Of course you don't." She said, not looking at me like I was stupid, but something much worse. She looked at me like I was someone who didn't know in the first place. "But I hope that one day you will understand, victor Jenriko." The way she had said victor with so much venom made me think if me being a victor had anything to do with it.

"I have been kind." I told her, thinking of all the things I had done back in District One. "I've helped people, made their lives better."

"I'm sure you did." She said, still not letting down. "But why?"

I was about to tell her that it was obvious, because I wanted to help them. That it was the right thing to do. But as I opened my mouth, I was hit with a bullet doubt. It made me wonder why I had really helped those people. Was it because it was the right thing to do? Was it because I wanted to be nice to them? Or was it simply because I was bored.

I then hung my head in shame, now knowing the real reasons that I actually helped so many people. It wasn't because it was the right thing to do, or even to help those people. It was to piss my parents off because they wanted me to become like a soldier. They wanted me to be like Victory. I went around being kind to people to get a reaction out of them. And since I didn't take anything seriously, it was something that I didn't care about.

Another real reason I did it was because I was bored.

Wren's mother must of seen that I now knew that I wasn't being kind for the sake of being kind, but because of some other reason. "I do hope that you do better Jenriko." She said before turning away from me and walking away.

The father continued to look at me for several seconds before he spoke again.

"Sorry." He said before he closed the door on me.

I had came looking to learn more about Wren, but instead, I had learned another thing about me that I wished that I hadn't learned. At times like this, I kind of wish that I could of stayed the way I was back before the reapings. But at the same time, I'm grateful that I realized my mistakes. I didn't like the old me, but the transition from old me to new me was hard. I found so many things that were wrong with me that it wasn't even funny. I couldn't even make fun of myself. That's how bad it was.

Knowing that I wasn't going to get anything out of Wren's parents, I decided to go back to the party that was being held in my honour.

But before I could even turn around, a voice started whispering my name. It was a loud whisper, like they didn't want to be heard.

I followed the voice. I looked up and saw Wren's younger sister looking down at me. She was holding a couple of books that were held shut with leather ropes.

"Catch." She told me before throwing them at me. I caught both of them. "You want to know more about my sister, read the entries in her journal. Don't worry, we've already looked at them. Just be sure to put them under the door mat before you leave."

She then disappeared before I could say thank you.

District Eight (Of Family Matters and Friendship.)

I read Wren's journal entries, and by the time I was done reading the entries, I was crying.

I might not of understood poetry that much, but what I did understand, I could see that she was probably one of the best people that I could of meet. She was kind to people for the sake of being kind. She was brave as well. There were two entries that I especially liked. One was her defending her younger sister from a guy that wouldn't leave her alone. She was beaten of course, but it gave her sister time to escape. She just didn't let up until her sister was away safely.

Then there was the one about Trim. How he had killed a girl and got away with it. Wren had tried to help her, but she couldn't. She had done her best, but she still failed. That didn't stop her though. She kept on going.

She wasn't someone that talked and was afraid of people, but she was a wonderful writer.

Despite her flaws, she was someone that was kind, smart, and brave. I wished that we could of meet under different circumstances.

Just like her sister told me, I returned them to the house, and placed them under the mat. Even though her body was dead, her memories shall be with her family.

And speaking of families, I was about to meet two more of them. Vida's family, and Malik's family.

I got escorted to the square, where it was raining and all around miserable. The V. and myself were sheltered under a roof that covered the stage, but the general audience got no such protection. They looked like they wanted the stupid speech over with.

I shook the mayor's hand, and started my speech.

"Hello there, District Eight. We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves. It is because of their sacrifice that we are able to live as comfortably as we presently are. If anything, they are one of the supporting bricks that keep this wonderful country alive and functioning and stable. Panem shall never forget their sacrifice." I felt like a machine on repeat.

I looked over at Vida's family, which contained what I guessed were her mother and father. "I didn't know Vida very well," I started, but couldn't seem to find anything good to say about her. All I knew about her was that she was short tempered and was strong. But also human, because she regretted killing Wren. "But I wish I could of gotten the chance to know her better." I finished off lamely. Her family didn't look like they believed me. I couldn't blame them. With a speech like that, I wouldn't of believed me.

I looked over at Malik's picture, and saw nobody under it. "As for Malik." I said just as lamely. I knew even less about him. The only two things I remember about him was that he had been searching for a girl named Carman, and it turned out to be nothing more than a clothing brand. The other was that he got killed by Victory.

I sighed and threw the reading cards in the air. "Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever."

*Later*

When I asked if anyone knew anything about Malik, I didn't think that I'd get any information on him. But when I did, I found out that there was this girl that thought of Malik as a friend. She told me that she didn't really know anything on Malik either, because he never really talked about the past. All she knew about him was that everyone close to him was dead and that he didn't care.

He also had a girl that he took care of, a girl named Phoebe that had ran away from her abusive father a year and a half ago. The girl, Anna, tried to find Phoebe, but never could. Malik and Phoebe never stayed in one place very long, so she didn't know where she was.

I thought of how that little girl, probably maybe fourteen years old now, was living out in the streets, homeless, and in this miserable weather at that. The person that had been taking care of her gone.

It was mixed in with what people said about him. Violent, and poor. His only redeeming feature was that he cared for a girl that had ran into him.

If there was anything hidden within Malik, it was now taken to the grave, and within a girl that nobody could find.

Now I was traveling to Vida's house. And what I learned about Vida along the way was a great contrast to Malik. Unlike Malik, she was well known, and not in a good way either. Most of the people that I talked to told me that she was violent, selfish, and usually had an opinion about everything, and not always in a good way.

When I got to her house, I saw something that I hadn't expected to see.

Her house had been defiled with graffiti and carved in words that screamed obscenities.

What the hell happened here?

The answer was obvious though, people didn't like Vida, and when she died killing Wren, the girl that had saved her, they hated her even more. Vida wasn't just hated in the Capitol, she was hated in her own district. The profanity written on her house showed just that.

Even though I never liked Vida myself, I didn't think that she deserved that treatment. Her parents certainly didn't deserve to have this kind of treatment.

I went up to the door and knocked on the door.

"I swear to God if you kids don't leave us alone-" A man's voice shouted out as he opened the door. I hadn't left the front step, and as he looked at me with a looked that mixed of anger and confusion, I got ready to run if I needed to.

I looked at him, and he looked at me, and we both froze.

"Uh..." I started. " ?"

"Yeah?" He asked, suspicion in his voice.

"If it's all right, I'd like to talk about Vida."

"Why. So you can find more things to put on the house?" He asked, waving his arms around to show off the words that had been painted and scrapped into the wood.

"So that I can see her as something other than a violent girl that killed the girl that helped her." Vida's father looked like he was going to say something, but I interrupted him. "I saw her cry. I know that she didn't mean it."

His expressions began to harden, and I was ready to make a dash for it. But then they softened, and he said that I should get out of the rain. I gladly did, by going into his house.

When I got into the house, I saw that there was more than just Vida's mother and father inside the house. There was another man and women inside. They weren't old either, they looked even younger than Mr. and Mrs. Harkle. They looked like they were in their mid to late thirties.

They looked at me like they couldn't believe that I was inside the house and in front of them.

"Before we start anything," started. "You should know that these folks in front of you are Mr. and . The parents of Breanne Zwimmer, Vida's only friend that was killed in the reapings.

It was there that I had learned that while Vida was everything that people in her district had said to me, she was also something more. She was violent, yes, and she did have an opinion on everything, as well as a little selfish.

As Breanne's parents told me, she had lost her tempter towards their daughter and had hit her many times, but Breanne still considered her a friend. When they had asked her why she was still friends with Vida, Breanne said that while Vida had a tough exterior, there was still a soft, human, interior side inside of her. They hadn't believed her at first, but they eventually found out that Vida did care about Breanne.

Vida would protect her and try to make her life better. Vida tried to get Breanne to stand up for herself and actually treated her like a friend at times.

Vida's parents also told me that one of the only people that she cared about outside of them was Breanne. And that Breanne's parents had only just a couple of months ago, found out that for every beating that Vida had given to their daughter, she would cry in her room for hours.

She also didn't seem to give a crap about anything. At least, to those that didn't know her.

To most people, she wouldn't give a crap about what she said or did, but to those close to her, she would give a crap.

Her opinion on everything turned out to be a way that she thought about life. Apparently, Vida thought that by not hiding anything, it was for the better. It caused people to get some bad opinions about her.

Vida was a good kid they all said, she just couldn't control her anger. It got her into fights. And she apparently wasn't very smart either, so she eventually started to think that all she could reply on was her fists. That, mixed with her stubborn attitude was a bad combination.

With all that explained to me, everything that Vida did made sense. In fact, I had lived a part of Vida's life. I had gone through with the violent option more times than I'd like to admit. And if Vida's whole life consisted of people constantly picking fights with her, and with her personality, I can see why she turned out the way she did.

If almost had hated me back home instead of liked me, or pretended to like me, I could see myself being Vida instead of the me I am right now.

When I told them that I had to go, they asked me if I could look at one last thing. I said sure.

Vida's parents then brought out a package that contained two items. One picture and a hand written letter.

I looked at the picture, and saw something surprising, I saw Vida and Timber standing side by side, hands around each other's shoulders. They were both crudely bandaged, had blood running out of their lips and noses, and had other black and dark blue spots on their faces and other visible body parts. But even so, they were both smiling.

I then looked at the letter and read it.

Dear mom and dad,

I don't know if you're going to be getting this letter from me, but like my new friend, I've got things that I want to try and make right before I either come home, or more likely, as Timber says, pass away. I don't want to die, but it might happen. And if I somehow do, I want to at least let people know some things.

First of all. Mom, dad, I'm sorry, for everything that I've done. I've given you two a hard time, and you don't deserve that. If I make it home, I want to be better.

I also want you to tell Breanne's parents that I'm sorry for everything that I've done to their daughter. I don't know why she stayed friends with me, but I'm grateful that she stuck with me, even though it would of done her better to stop being with me. Because unlike Timber, Breanne can't fight. I should of tried to stop a long time ago, but didn't. I've got no excuse.

So to all of you. I'm sorry.

Violence has no loyalty. But I should.

With deep regrets that probably won't make things right: Vida.

P.S. I love you.

District Seven (Of Fear and Anger.)

District Seven was another place that I didn't want to face. Like District Twelve, I had killed someone from that district. But what made this even worse, was that it was back when I was still a careless killer. I made fun of the deceased, and I didn't know how his family was going to react to that.

Just like the District Eight duo, I didn't know anything about the two tributes. All I knew was that Willow was like Wren on the level that people saw, scared and shy. And Timber was like Vida, angry at the world. But after my encounters with Vida and Wren's family, I knew that there was more to Timber and Willow than just anger and shyness.

If there was one thing that struck me about District Seven, it was all the trees that they had. Forests everywhere, left and right. I had to be careful here, otherwise I could get lost very easily.

One armoured escort later, and I was at the town square, shaking the mayor's hand before giving out my speech.

I looked at Willow's picture, and saw a man and a woman sitting down there. They looked sad to be there. As expected.

I looked over to Timber's picture, and saw something a little surprising. There were five people there, all of them looked to be kids. Even the oldest one there didn't look like she was past twenty five. She couldn't of been Timber's mother, or was she and just looked younger?

I turned back to the audience and read my speech.

"Hello there, District Seven. We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves. It is because of their sacrifice that we are able to live as comfortably as we presently are. If anything, they are one of the supporting bricks that keep this wonderful country alive and functioning and stable. Panem shall never forget their sacrifice."

I sighed. "I sure won't." I looked at Timber's family and said. "Timber sacrificed his life to save Vida's, to save her from my ally and myself. That's pretty good in my book." I then turned to Willow's parents. "And Willow. I can't say that I know her well, but know this, like a certain shy girl that I knew, she sacrificed herself so that others could be saved." Because like Wren, even though Willow was scared, she volunteered so that others wouldn't get killed during the reapings.

Willow's family looked at me like they were glad that I had said something good about their daughter. Timber's family on the other hand, continued to give me blank looks. I couldn't tell if they were sad, angry, or both.

*Later*

When searching for Willow's parents, I was surprised to learn that people knew about Willow. Even though she was like shy, like Wren had been, people still knew about her. She was someone that apparently got noticed because she did things with her friend, Haley, and it wasn't uncommon for people to find the two of them lost in the woods, or actively going on wild adventures in the woods, or around the districts.

When I found her parents and began to talk to them, they had told me that Willow had imagination, and unfortunately, it sometimes made her think that her imagination was real, and that reality wasn't reality anymore. She got lost in her imagination, thought of too many things, let her imagination get the better of her.

She may of been scared of many things, and it may or may not of been part of her imagination that caused that. Her friend, Haley, who walked me to Willow's house, said to me that while Willow was more of a danger to herself and those close to her when she was outside, she was really fun to be around. I believed all of it.

Willow's imagination, most likely saved her from letting it become real. Instead of facing the bloodbath, she decided to kill herself. A lot of kids thought that it was a cowards way out, I thought that Willow was smart, because if she hadn't, she might of ended up with a painful death. And besides, it takes guts to kill yourself.

Now heading over to Timber's house, who was a lot less liked by his district, I worried about the reaction his family would give me. After all, I was one of the tributes that had killed him. I had made fun of his death, and now here I was, on their territory, with no peacekeepers protecting me. If there was any chance to get revenge, now was the time.

I didn't want to do it, but I was at his front doorstep, and I didn't want to leave knowing that I left him out simply because I was too scared to face his family. I wanted to know more about him rather than some kid who had anger problems.

I knocked on the door. No answer. "Hello!" I shouted, knocking on the door again. "Anyone here?"

A couple of seconds later, I heard an adult female shout out.

"Jack! No!"

The door suddenly burst open and I saw a boy of around twelve or thirteen holding a lit lighter in front of him. But what really scared me was the fact that a spray can was in his other hand and was moving it behind the flame.

"Death upon the victor!" He shouted at the same time as I jumped back. A visible line of dragon breath suddenly appeared in front of me, and I couldn't help but scream as I felt a line of fire burn at my body.

I turned around and started to run, but my feet suddenly tripped over themselves and I found myself on the ground as the Capitol jacket, thin and, apparently, extremely flammable, continued to feed the flames.

I wanted to roll around and try to kill the flames that were licking at my shirt, but a part of me remembered the child that was inside me. Instead, I ripped off the jacket and threw it away from me. But there was still fire sticking to my face and hands.

Through the wall of fire in front of me, I saw the child look down at me and raise the lighter at me again. And as I beat my face with my palms, I kicked him under the chin, causing him to fall away from me.

I tried to beat the flames off my face and hands, but they didn't seem to go away. And god did it hurt! I suddenly felt myself back in the arena, facing another tribute that wanted to kill me.

Images of Dylan slitting my throat, Calamity stabbing my hand, and Victory all around beating me and gorging my eye out, appeared as felt the pain that they had inflected on me. I continued to try and get the flames off of me before Calamity could rape me again, or before Victory could kill me. Or both.

I managed to kill the flames on my hands by rubbing them violently against the dirt, and killed the flames on my face by hitting it repeatedly with the shirt I was wearing. But even with the flames gone, I could still feel the heat of the fire on my flesh. I thought of Caritta and Victory and how they had their entire bodies engulfed with flames. It would of been much more painful than this.

I looked up, and saw a smiling, burnt, spiked bodied Victory smiling at me wickedly as she held a molotov cocktail.

I shouted out in fright before I felt something cold and painful hit my face.

I lashed out to attack Victory, but didn't hit anything but air. I looked up, and saw the older woman that had been sitting under Timber's picture pouring water on me.

"You could of killed her Jack!" The woman shouted angrily at the boy who had attacked me.

"Good!" The boy shouted.

"No! Not good! You can't just go lighting people on fire!"

"She killed Timber! I should slit her throat and rip her tongue out of her throat and taunt her as she's bleeding to death! Make her know Timber's pain!"

"I'm sorry." I told them. "I'm sorry for your loss."

"Your sorrys won't bring him back! Bitch!"

I then felt a sharp kick to my face. I was grateful that he hadn't kicked my stomach.

"Get out of here Jack!" The women yelled before she started to look like she was going to fight the little boy, which looked to be an uneven fight. She looked as strong as a grown man, and while Jack looked strong for a young teenager, he was still a boy. Jack must of saw that as well, because he started to retreat into his house and disappear out of sight.

The woman then looked at me again with a look of sorry on her face. "I'm sorry about all this." She sighed. "But you killed their brother. You understand?"

"I do." I told her, trying to imagine losing my mother or father to some tribute in the games. I never lost anyone close to me to the games, the closest thing I could relate was losing Terry to the reapings. I missed him a lot.

She nodded before looking at me again, pouring more cold water on my face and hands.

"So what do you want with us?" She asked.

"I want to know more about Timber." I told her. "I know that he was probably an all right kid that was portrayed in a bad light. He saved Vida from me and my ally, so he couldn't of been all that bad."

The girl smiled sadly at me.

"No. He wasn't."

Train ride. (Of Reflections and Payment.)

I was half way through the reapings, but I felt as if I had seen enough. I had been trying, unsuccessfully to forget about the games, but then this fucking victory tour showed up, making me, and everyone else, remember the horrors that occurred within the tenth quarter quell. Not only that, but I felt as if the Capitol was showing me off, like they wanted me to look at the other districts like I was better than them. I had returned home, and they hadn't.

I didn't become that. Instead, all I felt was that the Capitol wanted to spread the suffering around. I was suffering post game, and so were the other districts.

District Twelve may not of liked Zeal and his gang, but Zeal's friends had been suffering, and they were so filled with anger that they attacked the stage in broad daylight. And because of that, at least three peacekeepers suffered second and third degree burns. And then there was Daria's parents, who had to live with the loss of a child, and there had been Daria's friends, who now had to live with the loss of one of their friends.

District Eleven didn't think much about Caritta, and neither did her parents, so she wouldn't be missed. But Adrian would be missed so much more. He had left behind friends, family, and because they were a small group that didn't belong anywhere in the district, Adrian's loss would be felt even more. And because of their reapings, there was a huge disappearance of teenage girls. It would take at least a couple of generations before they recover from that disaster.

District Ten was a district that got hit pretty soft. They hadn't lost many kids in the reapings, and they got rid of kids that weren't really liked. Perla's father would probably die of a drug overdose, and that would be the end of the Freuff family. Because I doubted that he'd get off the drugs and raise a proper family. Tanner wouldn't be missed by the majority of District Ten, but her friends/family, would miss her very much. Tarbh may of done some of Tanner's work for her, but Tanner still did more than her fair share. And because it used to be only to four of them, it was a big chunk of the family to take out.

District Nine got a mixed review. It had gotten rid of Trim, who at first glance was a good kid, a rich kid that people got along with, even if a few of them thought that he was spoilt and were jealous of his richness. But what only a few of them knew was that he was really just a spoilt rich kid that had insecurity and daddy issues. Trim's secret violence was now gone. Trim would only be missed by his family. Wren on the other hand, would also only be missed by her family. But unlike Trim, who announced his presents to everyone and had a reputation as big as his ego, Wren was someone that always put someone before herself. Even though she was the closest thing to an angel on earth, only a select few would know it. Her family, and I, were probably the only ones that knew that. The district was better off without Trim, but it needed more Wrens. If anything, Panem needed more Wrens.

District Eight wouldn't miss their tributes very much. Malik was unknown and Vida wasn't liked by many. But of those people that would miss them, Malik had been needed by his adopted sister, who was now living on the streets by herself, and his friend. Even if the two friends weren't very close. Vida would be missed by her family, and maybe, by her deceased friend's family.

District Seven wouldn't be missing either of their tributes as Willow wasn't very big in the public's opinion, and all people knew Timber as was a kid that had anger issues. But Willow's family would miss her, and so would her friend, Haley. Haley, I had heard, wasn't having very much success meeting new people due to her fear. At least she was trying. Timber on the other hand, had been a critical part of his family. Even through all his faults, his family still loved him, as Jack had demonstrated all by himself. It turns out that all his siblings except for the oldest sister, Oksana, ran to the door to attack me, all armed with axes, saws, and of course, a spray paint can and a lighter. Only Jack managed to get past his older sister. It was through her that I learned that Timber didn't have a job, or go to school, and he got his money through illegal fighting rings. Timber had been a loving brother, even if he did lash out at everyone.

I could see why him and Vida clicked with each other. On the outside, all you could see was that they couldn't keep their anger in check. But in reality, the only thing they knew was how to fight, so they used it. Vida protected her friend, and Timber used it to help support his siblings. They both hated their anger, but couldn't find anyway to control it. They knew how the other thought, and they had both lost someone important to them. Someone that they thought deserved better than them, and someone that they wanted to be better with, and apologise to. But if there was one thing that they liked about each other the best, it was that they could fight each other, vent their anger out, until they couldn't fight now more, and not worry about hurting the other.

Looking at all that, even if the reaping slaughters had never happened, it was more than just the tributes that suffered in the arena. The families and friends of the tributes had to watch their loved ones suffer, and live with the death of them.

Zeal's friends had to live with the regret of losing their friend that they had grown up and escaped their former home with. Daria's parents and friends would be missing the wild child that was looking for excitement in her life and look past the bleak world of District Twelve.

I wanted to think that Caritta's parents would miss their daughter a little. Adrian's family and friends would miss someone that belonged in a group that didn't belong anywhere else. A group of loners that belonged with each other. The same goes for Tanner's friends/family. They didn't really belong with their care giver, and they didn't belong with the other kids. They were loners together as well. Perla on the other hand, I hoped that her father would miss her even a little through his drug filled mind.

Trim would be missed by his family, even his dad, who just wanted him to grow up. Wren would also be missed by her family. If District Nine had a living soul of it's own, I think it would miss her as well.

Malik would only be missed by two people, but one of those had needed Malik, and was now trying to survive a district full of factories on her own. No guidance, no protector, no nothing, just her against the world. Vida on the other hand, her family would miss her, and hopefully, her friend's family, knowing what she did for their daughter and how Vida felt about the wrongs she had done to her.

Willow's family was going to miss her as well, and so would her friend, who was going to be lonely without her only friend. Until she could get past her fear, Willow would be her only friend. And Timber's family had been hit hard. Without Timber and Chip, Jack and his younger sisters were going to have to apply for tesserae, and even the little ten year old was working in a lumber yard.

Twelve kids had been killed in the arena, but at least thirty two people had suffered with them. Four of them which were now dead. I don't know how many others suffered because of their deaths, but that was just the minimum. And that wasn't counting their reaping victims and their families. Those three or more peacekeepers that had taken firebombs for me. And who knows how many other people that suffered that I don't know of. And that was just Districts Twelve to Seven. What more would I discover in Districts Six through Two?

My escort, of course, didn't care about the families, the victims, or just about anything for that matter. The only things that seemed to be on her mind were getting to the career districts so that she could have a so called 'proper victory feasible.' And even then, she couldn't wait to get back to the Capitol.

If there was one thing that she freaked out about it was that she had seen me after I had gotten back from Timber's house. She saw the burns on my hands and face. She saw the dirt all over my clothes and the woodchips in my hair. She also noticed that some of my hair had been seared. It was now a mess of uneven burns and tangled with leaves, woodchips, and dirt.

She had wondered who had attacked her victor and said that the peacekeepers in District Seven were going to pay for not protecting me against whatever had happened to me. I told her not to worry about it, that it was my fault that it happened. I said that it was an accident that happened, and she seemed to let it go. After all, why would she have a reason not to believe me?

She had my prep team and stylist cut and style my hair to make it better. I hadn't looked at myself in the mirror, but from what my stylist told me, I was looking very bad, but it was fixable. I didn't know how too bad was very bad to them, but I knew that if it was fixable in this short amount of time, it wasn't anything bad to me.

The fire that Jack had sprayed me with was like sticky fire, and if I hadn't jumped back, my whole upper body could of looked like Caritta's when she got engulfed with fire.

My prep team and stylist managed to put powerful, Capitol burn cream over my hands and face, give me new clothes, and fix my hair. This time, it was even shorter than when I had first gotten in cut in the Capitol. It was a short pixie cut with the front longer than usual.

As they fixed me up, I couldn't help but wonder what else was in store for me.

District Six (Of Freaks and Discrimination.)

The burn cream had done a really good job. Within the day that it took to get to District Six, the angry red burns and slightly peeling skin had disappeared, replaced with a medium shade of pink colour that looked more like thick blush, or something. Even so, they added makeup to the burns, to cover up the colour of medium pink.

Once again, an armoured convoy of vehicles and peacekeepers escorted me and everyone else with me to the district square. I walked onto the stage, shook the mayor's hand, and walked up to the podium.

As I walked forwards, I looked at the pictures of Colton and Adrienne.

Under Colton's picture were two adults that didn't look anything like Colton. They were also fairly tall, so I doubted that they were his real parents. I guess they were his adopted parents or something, because they did look a little young. For parents of an older teenager.

Under Adrienne's picture was a single woman, who looked even younger than Colton's adopted parents. She looked like she was only barely in her thirties. She could of been Adrienne's sister, if Adrienne's sister was about fifteen years older than her.

They both didn't look very affected with the loss of those who were just hanging above them, which made me wonder if they ever cared about them in the first place.

"Hello there, District Six." I said to them, getting sick of this speech. "We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves. It is because of their sacrifice that we are able to live as comfortably as we presently are. If anything, they are one of the supporting bricks that keep this wonderful country alive and functioning and stable. Panem shall never forget their sacrifice."

I looked back at the so called grieving family members, and their expressions didn't seem to change. In fact, now that I looked closer, they all just looked bored, like they'd rather be doing anything else in the world. In a bad way. For some reason, that made me so mad. I thought of how Adrienne had refused to end the game early, to save their miserable lives. I shouldn't care, but I was caring. Colton didn't deserve this, and Adrienne definitely didn't deserve the disrespect that they were giving.

"And all of you shouldn't either!" I shouted, throwing the cards at Adrienne's mother, or older sister. The cards didn't even make it half way to her before a gust of wind blew it to the left of her, sending it off the stage. The entire crowd seemed to gasp in surprise, and those grieving... Whatever's, finally looked up and wondered what was happening. "Colton might not of been your real kid, but why adopt him if you didn't care about him? To use him as a slave?" It made think that those two were the same as Caritta's parents. They only kept Caritta around to capitalize on. Those two must of been the same way.

I then looked at Adrienne's mother, or older sister, and thought of how Adrienne had sacrificed her life so that others could live. I thought of the thirty five family and friends of Districts Twelve through Seven, plus her, and Colton's parents, and their friends, if they had any, and every other tribute's families and friends that had been in this year's game. If Adrienne had pressed that button, all of them would of been dead. They should be respecting Adrienne for saving their sorry lives. "And you!' I shouted, at Adrienne's mother or sister. "Adrienne saved your ass! Show a little respect!"

I then turned my attention between the two families. "Adrienne saved all your asses! So show a little respect for the fallen!"

*Later*

Though the audience was surprised by my outburst, nobody seemed to give in to my demand. They were more interested in my shouting than they were about respecting a girl that had given her life so that others that weren't involved in the games could live. Just from that, I could tell that nobody cared about those two.

Before I went to the district feast, I ran to Colton's adoptive parents and asked them about Colton. They answered me in a way that I expected and didn't expect. They said that now that Colton was dead, they could say everything about him. I then learned that they had bought Colton from a salesman. That salesman had came from the Capitol, and had said that District Six was just on his way to District Ten. If nobody wanted to buy there, he'd try his luck in District Eleven. Colton's adoptive parents bought him so that they could use him as a servant. They didn't like the word slave.

They were sad that Colton had left them, but they were only sad because now they didn't have someone to do the stuff they didn't want to do. I would of called them horrible parents, but they weren't his parents, so I called them horrible people.

Colton wasn't very liked in the district as well. People would laugh that he was a short little freak and that he was someone that could be kicked around for fun. He was so small that he could hardly fight back. They said his claims of being able to fight were a load of bullshit. Though one thing I noticed about the people that said that they could easily kick his ass, they were in a group of three or more. I had to wonder if they were too afraid to take him on one on one.

The worst thing about what I heard, was that Colton wasn't even treated as a boy, or even a human, just a dwarf, a kind of sub-human. It was people like that that made me sick. Though I shouldn't be talking, I had treated Tanner like that. The original purpose of having Tanner in the career pack was to use her, and I thought that she was just an ugly, stupid guy that could be manipulated.

The district feast that I was attending had increased security, but I still managed to slip out, unnoticed.

I then made my way to Adrienne's house, asking people for directions. From there, I learned what people had thought of Adrienne. They didn't think of her as a hero, they thought of her as a slut. That her mother was a whore, and that she was one, only because her mother was. I thought that it was an unfair assumption, but people seemed to believe that. It was a horrible way to think. Not only that, but they called her friends sluts as well. Sluts hanged out with sluts, simple as that.

If that wasn't enough, they thought that Adrienne was violent because she would pick fights with them. I wanted to scoff at them and tell them that they were the ones picking fights with Adrienne and her friends.

And that wasn't the worst part of it. They thought that because I was looking for the slut's mother, that I was looking to become one. And because of my pregnant belly, they thought that I had already gotten started. They then started to come onto me, and they weren't subtle about it.

I warned them not to try it, but they kept on coming onto me. They weren't Capitol citizens, so I didn't have to give into their demands. Individuals or groups of horny teenagers or grown men, I managed to either get away from them, or beat them down. The memories of Calamity and lusty Capitol men and women fuelled my rage. I had to put up with that shit in the Capitol, but I didn't have to put up with it in the districts. I wasn't their plaything! I wasn't the Capitol's either, but I didn't have any choice in that matter. It wasn't fair, but to defy the Capitol was suicide.

When I got to Adrienne's house, I knocked on the door, and it was answered by Adrienne's mother.

"Mrs. Quintus?" I asked, even though I knew the answer.

"What do you want?" She asked hostilely. "Want to tell me that I should respect my daughter some more."

"You should." I shot at her. "But I have questions, and I want you to answer them."

"Why should I answer your questions?" She asked, giving me dirty looks.

"Because I have something you need." I told her, showing her a small handful of coins. "She looked like she wanted to dive into those coins, but I pulled them back before she could do anything. She then looked at me up and down, almost like she was wondering if she could beat me in a fight.

"I have another client coming here soon." She told me. "You can come back later tonight and we can have our fun than."

"I don't want sex you stupid old-" I stopped myself, not wanting to lose the opportunity for her to answer my questions. I took a deep breath and breathed out. Violence isn't the answer, try to calm down. "Why don't you care about your daughter?" I asked.

"I did care." She told me. "At one time. But being a mother an't my thing. It's hard and tiring and annoying to take care of a brat that doesn't appreciate what you're doing."

"Then why'd you keep her?" I asked. "You could of given her up, or gotten rid of her before she was even born."

"Like I said before, at one time, I cared." She answered. "I'll never say that I was a good mother, but I did what I could to get her to survive. She never liked me, and eventually, I thought, if she doesn't care about me, why should I bother?"

"She was your daughter though." I told her. "You should of kept on trying. Kept on trying to show that you love her."

She tisked at me, like I had pinched a nerve of her's.

"You try raising a kid when you're fourteen with no father, living as a whore for money because your family abandoned you because you made a mistake." She then sat down and looked up at me. "I had sex for the first time at age eleven. I thought that it was fun at the time. Sneak out of my parents place, have fun with some sixteen, seventeen, eighteen year old boys. Older." She looked up at the sky with regret. "Then I got pregnant, like you. And I thought that my fun was all over." She gave out a sarcastic laugh. "The thoughts of a thirteen year old girl, right?"

I nodded and listened to her story. "When my parents found out, they went ballistic. They kicked me out and never spoke of me again. Never acknowledged my existence. So I pretended that they didn't exist. Pretended that I had no family." She paused for a moment. "Then I had Adrienne. I originally called her Adrianna, but Adrienne kept on saying Adrienne when she was younger, so that name stuck." She then gave out a laugh. "I accidentally called her her original name when saying goodbye to her. She was so mad at me that she punched me." She laughed again. "She never liked me because of what the other kids did to her, because of my status in this district. She started to distance herself from me, or at least try to. So eventually, a frustrated me, didn't really acknowledge her either. In a way, it was better, and worse."

"Why's that?" I asked.

"Because I never got to really know her." The young mother answered sadly. "And she never really got to know me." She then laughed again. "Adrienne was a hot tempered person that pushes to get what she wants, and was a little selfish, reckless, and cold towards people, especially men." I couldn't blame her. From what I heard about her from the other kids, and what they tried to do with me, I think she was sexually harassed by them. "But she had a heart. She had two friends that she liked, and if she didn't care about people, she would of just let all those kids burn."

I nodded at her. All those kids that Adrienne had to fight and put up with, she had saved. She could of just let them all die, but she didn't. She volunteered for them.

A long pause occurred. "Hey, Victor Florence." She said, looking at me. "You look like your going to have a kid."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I might."

"Might huh?" She said, interested in my situation. "You thinking of getting rid of it or something?"

That was the thing. I didn't know wither to get rid of it or not.

The Capitol did some testing on me, and since I got pregnant with someone before I started getting Capitol clients to have sex with, they said that I could do whatever I liked with it. The Capitol citizens didn't want to have kids with victors, so they'd have them have abortions. Since the father wasn't a Capitol citizen, I could either keep the child, give it to someone else, or kill it.

When they had done the testing, I asked who the father was. They told me that I wouldn't like the answer. I told them to tell me anyway, knowing that it was only one of two people. They told me that it was Calamity's child.

I now had to think. Did I really want the memory of Calamity with me all the time? Did I want to kill a child that wasn't even born yet?

I was six months pregnant, so I still had two months to think about it.

District Five (Of Winning and Failure.)

The same thing happened. I got escorted to the square by armed peacekeepers in an armoured vehicle, got to the stage, shook the mayor's hand, and began my speech.

"Hello there, District Five. We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves. It is because of their sacrifice that we are able to live as comfortably as we presently are. If anything, they are one of the supporting bricks that keep this wonderful country alive and functioning and stable. Panem shall never forget their sacrifice."

I looked at Jamie's family, which seemed to have a line divided between them. There was one woman, but two men. Only one man was with the woman. I had to wonder who the other man was. He looked a little like Jamie, so he might of been the father. But the little girl with the woman and the man that was beside her, didn't look like Jamie. The family that was together all had blond hair and blue eyes. I didn't know much about Jamie, but the picture that hung above them showed a dark brown haired boy. The only one with brown hair was the man that was standing alone. What was up with that?

I looked over at Alexa's family, and only saw a boy that was a few years older than she was. I recognized him, as he was last year's victor. Was he all that was left of the family? Must be, as he's the only one sitting there. "I never knew much about the two tributes that came from here, but I can tell you that neither of them deserved the deaths that they got."

Images of Alexa's throat burning and melting from the inside, and Jamie's head getting vertically chopped in half filled my head.

I looked at the two families, and couldn't think of anything more to say. The tributes from this district were the ones that I knew the least about. The only thing that I knew about Alexa was that she was crazy, peeling her skin and laughing at inappropriate times. And I couldn't say that I remember anything about Jamie other than his death.

Everyone looked at me like they expected me to say something, but I didn't have anything more to say.

I sighed and let the cards fall to the stage floor. "Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever."

*Later*

There were a lot of things that could surprise me, and this victory tour of truths did keep on surprising me. District Five was no exception.

When asking about Jamie, I got asked wither I wanted to see his mom or his dad. When I asked why it would matter, I found out that his mom and dad had separated from each other. Jamie had lived with his dad, and his sister, Quinn, was living with his mom and step-dad. Turns out that his mother's happier with her new man than her previous husband. I had to wonder what came between the two.

I visited his dad first, and was surprised at what I meet.

When I started to talk about Jamie, he started to get angry, saying for me to never mention that name to him again, saying that Jamie was a worthless piece of shit and meant nothing to him anymore. When I asked why, he said that he died in the Hunger Games. And even worse, he said that Jamie was a disappointment for dying in the bloodbath.

The last question I asked him was if he at least missed Jamie. His answer. No. He then slammed the door in my face.

Later that day, I snuck out of the district feast with two objectives. One was to visit Jamie's mom, the other was to visit Alexa's brother. I decided to go to Jamie's mother's home first due to Alexa's brother being easier to find.

I asked people where I could find Jamie's mother, and they pointed me in the right direction.

When I got to the house, I started to ask questions about Jamie and why Jamie's father was so obsessed with Jamie winning the Hunger Games. It was there that I found out that Jamie's father's twin brother had won the games. His father that got so obsessed over the idea that his brother had won, that he wanted someone in his family to win. He vowed to make his son or daughter a winner of the games.

That was where Jamie came in. When he was born, his dad tried to get him to train, but Jamie would mostly skip out on it. He had no desire to go into the arena, and even though his dad would push him around and force him to exercise and practice with fake and real weapons, Jamie would still rebel against him. He didn't want any part in the Hunger Games. He didn't like violence, he didn't like using violence, and he just didn't like it.

And I also found out why his younger sister looked so much more different than Jamie did, it was because she was his half sister. Same mom, different dad.

When Jamie's mom told Jamie's dad the truth, he kicked her, and her daughter, out of his house, but held on to Jamie so that he could continue to train him. And even though they were half siblings, they were best friends to each other. Jamie was always better with younger kids, his mom told me.

Her new husband wasn't abusive or anything, and Jamie wished that he could of moved in with them. But he was tied with his real father, so that wasn't possible. He was going to wait until he was nineteen, not having volunteered for the games and no longer obligated to stay with his father, would of moved in with his mother. He could of had a good life. Instead, he volunteered when his friend, a rebellious girl named Elizabeth, got killed. His cousin, the daughter of his father's victor brother, was going to volunteer, but her age group got killed before she could.

They said that his friend got killed, even when she volunteered. Saying that she was a rebel, and that he knew of her plan to create mass destruction in the Capitol. I couldn't help but notice that they left that out of the reaping tapes that I had seen. Not only that, but it seemed that Elizabeth's father had been publicly tortured and executed. It was the Capitol's way to show that nobody was above the Capitol.

The entire family, even the step dad, was sad.

After that meeting, I headed over to the victor village, looking for the house that belonged to Phelan Langer. It wasn't hard, I just had to ask one of the victors, and he pointed me to the right house.

I knocked on the door, and Phelan answered soon after.

"Phelan Langer?" I asked, even though I knew who he was.

"I don't want to talk about Alexa, if that's what you're getting at." He said, even before I had said anything about Alexa.

"How did-" I started, but stopped. It didn't matter how he knew, I just wanted him to answer some questions. "You don't seem very fond of Alexa."

"Why would I be?" He growled. "After all she's done? Why would I be fond of her?"

"What exactly did she do?" I asked, wanting to know more about Alexa's story. I knew nothing of Alexa besides that she scratched at her skin so much that it peeled. And that she was crazy.

"It's none of your businesses." She snarled at me.

"I'll stay here until tell me." I told him.

"Fine." He challenged, before slamming the door in my face.

Fine. I thought. Challenge accepted. I then began to pound on the door with my fist. I hit the wood hard, making the knocking on the door loud and annoying.

After about half an hour of knocking, he didn't even budge. Not only that, but I was annoying his neighbours more than I was annoying him. So I had to leave the young victor, not getting any information about his sister. So I just asked around the district, wondering what people knew about her.

I wasn't surprised to hear that Alexa in into drugs. She acted and looked somewhat like Perla. In a state of withdraw. But I was surprised to hear that she had a nickname. That nickname was fortune. As rumours told me, she had won a lot of money once, and that's what her father would call her. That name stuck.

People thought that her brother was jealous about their dad liking her more than they liked him.

Than one day, their house burnt down. Alexa was the only one that escaped. That happened at the same time that her brother was in the arena. When he returned, he didn't want anything to do with Alexa, thinking that she burnt down the house, killing their family of parents and siblings.

He isolated himself from her, and didn't want anything to do with her. Alexa started to do drugs soon after, and that was when things went down hill for her. She wasn't like by very many people, as all she did was do drugs and make a menace of herself when she was high.

I wanted to go back to Phelan's house and try to convince him that his sister had nothing to do with burning their house down. But everyone told me not to bother. Phelan wouldn't listen to me. And they also told me to think about another thing, what made me think that Alexa didn't burn their house down?

It was stupid to think that Alexa would do something like that. Who would kill their family? And for what? Alexa didn't have anything to gain from it. Or did she? I don't know. But I do think that Alexa started to do drugs to take away the pain of losing everyone that mattered to her. Even if one of them was still alive. Even though he was still alive, he was dead to her.

But what do I know? If I wanted the truth, I'd have to either go back in time and see what happened, or talk to Alexa and get her side of the story. Both were impossible.

District Four (Of Isolation and Paradise.)

If there was a district that I wanted to both skip and go to, it was District Four. It was Dylan's home, and that was why I had such mixed feelings about it.

Dylan had been my ally, and the one that had tried to warn Tanner, Adrian, and I, of Victory's murder spree that would lead to betrayal. It was supposed to be Victory betraying us, but it turned into us betraying Dylan. Victory may of betrayed us with the murder of Jeremiah, but we betrayed Dylan, and let Victory kill him.

He tried to warn us, and all we did was ignore him. He died because of that.

Sometimes, I felt so guilty of that, that when I saw a group of kids arguing, I didn't see those kids, I saw the four of us. I then saw the four of us fighting. First, Tanner would jump on Dylan, than Adrian and I would jump on Dylan, Dylan would rip Adrian's lower lip off. I'd stab him in the back, Tanner would get slammed into the cornucopia, and lastly, I'd get my throat slit. I'd see that if I saw a group of kids arguing. I'd imagine one of them dead, and the other three wounded.

It wasn't a good thing to have.

As I walked onto the stage and shook the mayor's hand, I couldn't help but look at the pictures to either side of me.

Dylan's picture had his mom, dad, and sister under it. They all looked grief stricken at the loss of Dylan.

Under Selene's picture was what I guessed as her dad. He also looked grief stricken by his daughter's loss.

I stepped behind the microphone and said my lines.

"Hello there, District Four. We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves. It is because of their sacrifice that we are able to live as comfortably as we presently are. If anything, they are one of the supporting bricks that keep this wonderful country alive and functioning and stable. Panem shall never forget their sacrifice."

I looked at Dylan's family, and said. "Dylan was probably the main person that was holding Adrian, Tanner, and I, together. If he hadn't done what he had done, we might not of been together as greatly as we were. Also, Dylan was right about everything, we were just too blind to see it. He didn't deserve what we did to him, or what happened to him."

All three of them looked at me. Their facial expressions seemed to have understanding in them. I didn't see forgiveness, but I hadn't been expecting that from them.

I then looked over at Selene's father. "Even though Selene was part of our alliance, we weren't as close to her as our other allies." Except Trim, who was as close to us as snails. "At least she found someone for her." For about three seconds before she suddenly burst into flames.

Her father didn't seem to mind that I said little about her compared to Dylan. I turned back to the District Four crowd. "Panem today. Panem tommorow. Panem forever."

*Later*

I couldn't talk to Selene's dad first thing after the speech, so I had to wait a little into the feast before sneaking out towards Selene's house.

When asking where Selene's house was, I got a response that I would of expected from the old Tanner. They asked my why I'd want anything to do with that dyke, among other things. It was comments like that that made me realize just why Selene was so uncomfortable giving out her sexuality, and why she didn't really stay with us. Tanner must of scared her away, and if this was how lesbians were treated in District Four, I think Dylan might of scared her off as well.

I doubted that Selene was the only lesbian around, but if there were any in District Four, they wouldn't dare show their faces, or announce that they were of different sexuality than everyone else. Little wonder why she looked so happy to find out that Caritta was just like her.

Though the citizens didn't respect Selene, they respected her father, who was the owner of a pearl diving operation, or school, people here seemed to be divided which to call it. He owned the place and went diving for pearls, but he also gave lessons, and let people keep what they found on those lessons. Unlike Selene, they said that her dad was pretty cool. It made me think back to Caritta, who wasn't liked by anyone in the district. Here, it seemed that Selene was only tolerated.

I went over to her house, which was just on the edge of a cliff. I had to wonder if people jumped off the cliff for their diving lessons. It seemed like suicide to me, but District Four had the best swimmers in Panem, so to them, it could just be an everyday occurrence. All I could say was that if this was something that they did regularly, than they had nerves of steel.

Getting up the cliff wasn't easy. If I didn't have the disadvantages of having an unborn child in my stomach, I could of made that cliff easily. But I made it, after a while, and knocked on the door.

Soon after, the door was opened by the man that was Selene's father.

"I never thought that I'd be teaching a victor lessons." He said to me pleasantly. His words may of been calm, but I could see that in his eyes, he would of wanted nothing more than to see me drown during one of those swim lessons.

"Mr. Ripple," I said, not wanting him to pick me up and throw me off the cliff. Knowing that he was a parent, and had lost his child to someone in my alliance, and probably thought that it was because of Dylan and Tanner that she left us, he'd throw me somewhere where there wasn't any water to catch me. "I'm really sorry about your daughter's fate, but you should know that killing me won't bring her back."

"It'd make me feel better though." He told me, his voice neutral, like he was deciding the best course of action. "No peacekeepers, no witnesses. I could knock you out and fit you into some nice cement boots before dumping you into the ocean."

"First off," I said, wanting to scare him out of doing that. I wasn't sure I could fight a full grown man, especially one of his size and history. Knowing that he was living in a career district, like me, he wouldn't be like the adults that I fought in District Six. And even then, I hadn't wanted to fight those adults. "Peacekeeper will look for me, and eventually find me. Second, I asked for directions to your house, so you'll be the first and prime suspect in my disappearance. Third, I am not Dylan, and I am defiantly not Tanner. I had nothing against your daughter except that I thought that she had attacked my friends."

He seemed to think about it for a minute, and I hoped that I made the right choice. I wasn't sure that I could fight, or outrun him. Being pregnant sucked.

After a few tense moments, he nodded and said.

"You're right on all three accounts." I breathed a sigh of relief. "So what did you want to talk about?"

While talking with him, I discovered that because of Selene's sexuality, she only had two friends. One of which had died during the reapings. And because of that, she volunteered. She didn't want anyone else to suffer. And not only that, but Selene had some dark thoughts about death, life, and other things that weren't limited to mortality. As such, he would sometimes try to kill herself. She never succeeded. He explained that she claimed that it was something else she was doing, but all it looked like to him was trying to kill herself.

I had to wonder if she entered the games to kill herself.

It made me think of another tribute a little like her. Caritta. Why had Caritta volunteered for the games? Looking back, I didn't see any reason why she would volunteer for the games. The only thought that I could think of was that they were running out of people to kill. And Caritta, seeing that her number could be drawn, wanted to live a little bit longer, so she volunteered.

Caritta hated her district, and her district hated her. She was selfish and what people would call an anti-social, angry, mean girl. From the little I heard about her, I'd say that was accurate.

With all those thoughts gathered, even though Caritta and Selene had found someone else just like them, Selene was too good for Caritta. After all, Selene didn't volunteer to save her own skin, she volunteered to save others from suffering the same fate as her friend. Also, Selene didn't piss the Capitol off and have them murder some innocent ten year olds.

My next stop was Dylan's house. It was one of the trips that I feared the most. I wondered how his family would react to me. For all the things Dylan did for me and the alliance, we had rewarded him with a death that he didn't deserve.

Even worse was that I'd have to face his sister, Creek, every year that we're mentors. I didn't want to have bad blood between us. I was expected to mentor the District One tributes, and I'd bet money that Creek will still be the District Four mentors for years to come.

People in both District One and the Capitol kept on telling me that I worried about her too much, that I was paranoid with guilt. But if I was in Creek's body and had her mind and life, and I saw my brother getting killed because people wouldn't believe him, I'm not sure I could forgive them.

I asked for directions to their house, and was lead to the victor village. When I got there, I asked one of the victors where I could find Creek's house. He told me to look for the house that was the biggest.

It didn't take me long to find it. And that victor wasn't kidding when they said to find the biggest victor house.

Career houses were always bigger than non-career victor houses, but Creek's home looked like it had had an extra large room added on to it. I had to wonder what that extra space was for.

Gathering my courage to face Creek and her family, I knocked on her door and waited.

The door seemed to answer too fast, as Dylan's father answered the door.

"Mr. Creek." I practically squeaked. I wasn't ready for this.

"Victor Jenriko?" He said with confusion. "What are you doing here?"

I'd, umm, like to talk to you... And Creek... And stuff... About Dylan." I shouldn't feel this nervous. I managed to visit Tanner and Adrian's family perfectly fine. I should feel the same way with Dylan's. But I didn't, for some reason.

"Sure." He said, moving out of the doorway. "Come on in."

I did, and he led me into what appeared to be the living room. Inside there were Dylan's mother, sister, and two other people. Two boys that I didn't recognize. They all looked at me as I entered the room. I didn't like that they were all looking at me. I didn't know what to do, or say, I was too scared for some reason.

Silence suffocated the room, and I didn't know wither that was worse or not.

"First of all," Creek said, breaking the silence so suddenly that I jumped when I heard her voice. "I've got nothing against you." She paused for a moment. "Well, actually, I do have something against you, but I'm not holding any grudges. If you know what I mean."

I felt relief flood through me.

"I do." I told her, understanding her. "I don't blame you either. But I'm really sorry about what we..." I stopped. "I." I corrected. "Did to Dylan." I had started the fight that dragged in Adrian and Tanner. I was the one that essentially killed Dylan.

"There was no way that you could of known." She told me. "If anyone but me were in that arena with my brother, I think they would of thought the same thing as you. Acted different, but still would of thought that Dylan was paranoid about Victory."

"Still doesn't make me feel any better though." I told her.

"That's because you know the truth." She explained. "If you hadn't known the truth, would you still be feeling as guilty?"

"I'd still be feeling guilt, but I don't think it'd be the same." I answered.

"Exactly." She said. "And anyway, I'm not holding a grudge against you. It's not like you meant for him to die."

"Yeah." I sighed. But I was the one that sentenced him to death. I may of gotten Creek's forgiveness, but it only made me feel a little better.

"I feel the same as Creek." One of the boys said.

"Same here." The other boy said.

"Same." The mother and father said at the same time.

With this feeling of forgiveness, understanding, but still not liking me for what I had done to their son, brother, and friend, I felt better. They understood, but that I didn't mean that they had to like me. That was all right though, this was all I was asking for. Understanding.

And through the talk of Dylan's family and friends, I discovered that he wasn't the typical career that the career districts portrayed. Dylan, at first, had been a weakling, a nerd, and had Creek to protect him. Sure he went to the academy, like every other kid in his district, but he wasn't like the vast majority of them.

He only started getting seriously about the career training after Creek won, which was only three years ago. He may of had training, just like the other kids, and had help from his career buddy, Caspian, and had fights with other kids, but he was still behind in career training. That was my opinion. I had practiced my career training longer than Dylan had. I think all the careers, except for maybe Selene, had practiced longer than Dylan. That put him at a major disadvantage.

The room that had been added to the house was for Dylan and his friends. A library just for them, so that they could read and study in peace. Even if Caspian wasn't like Dylan, or his other nerdy friend, Ermin.

I asked why Dylan decided to train so late. It was his friends that answered it due to his family not knowing.

They told us that it was because of Creek winning. People wouldn't see Dylan as Dylan, they'd only see him as Creek's little brother. Dylan got sick of that. He wanted to be known as something other than Creek's brother, so he starting training for the games. He thought that if he won the games, he'd be respected, and be known as something more.

The news shocked his family. They couldn't believe that Dylan hadn't told them his problem with the district. But I think only us kids knew that kids don't go to parents to tell them their problems.

Dylan. He just wanted to known as Dylan, and not as someone's sister. I couldn't help but understand.

I think Dylan and Selene, despite that they might of disliked each other, were the same in that area. They were isolated from the rest of the district, and they wanted to prove that they were more than just what the district thought of them as.

Maybe that's why we all got together so well. Normally, careers and non-career tributes don't get along, even if they're in the same alliance. But Dylan, Adrian, and Tanner got along just fine. They probably knew on a sub-conscious level that they were all the same. They didn't belong anywhere except with a select few that knew them for who they were.

It's funny. Even though they were raised in different districts, lived different lives, and were different people, they were all the same in some ways.

District Three (Of Intelligence and Impulses.)

I wished that my escort hadn't requested spring rolls on our way to District Three.

The spring rolls had been deep fried, just like I had deep fried Caia's body. The rolls were browned, crispy, and were long, just like a human body that I had destroyed. I couldn't look at those spring rolls without being reminded of what happened to Caia.

I didn't say anything though, she would of just laughed it off, saying that spring rolls were nothing like Caia, and that I should relax and forget all about my game. I did what I had to do, that's what she'd say to me. And for a while, I believed it. I could of killed Caia, but I didn't have to do it in such a brutal way. I could of just stabbed her in the back of the head, a quick and most likely painless death. I could of given Caia that. Instead, I gave her a horrible death that was almost like burning her alive.

I ate the spring rolls, but every time I took a bite of it, I felt as if I was taking a bite out of Caia's body.

Right before we arrived in District Three, I vomited up the spring rolls. My mind and body couldn't handle thinking about eating Caia.

We were escorted to the district square and walked to the stage. The weather was miserable in District Three. It was raining heavily, and the wind was blowing as well. The roof of the stage offered some protection, but even then we weren't completely blocked off from the weather.

I shook the mayor's hand and walked to the podium. When I held up the cards, a powerful gust of wind blew them out of my hand. It didn't matter though, and I didn't really care. I had memorized my lines.

I looked at the gathered crowd of District Three residents, and could see that they wanted my speech to be over and done with. They wanted to go home to dry off and be warm again. I couldn't blame them, I wanted to get off this stage as well, but for a different reason.

"Hello there, District Three. We are gathered here to day in remembrance of two brave tributes that gave their lives for something greater than themselves. It is because of their sacrifice that we are able to live as comfortably as we presently are. If anything, they are one of the supporting bricks that keep this wonderful country alive and functioning and stable. Panem shall never forget their sacrifice."

I looked over to Kendrick's picture, and saw a man that looked just like Kendrick, only darker and older. Beside him was a light skinned woman who was a lot shorter then both the man and Kendrick. They both looked sad, but the woman looked like she was just barely holding back tears.

I looked over at Caia's picture, and saw a man, a woman, and a boy and girl that looked like twins. The younger kids looked like they were twelve or thirteen years old. They also looked like they couldn't sit still. Everyone under a picture was sad, I could see that much. But I couldn't tell if Caia's family hated me or not, it did and didn't look like it. They were hiding their faces, protecting themselves against the howling winds and attacking rain drops.

I decided to make the speech quick. "Kendrick and Caia were two kids that were brought together by unfortunate circumstances. But they did the best they could, working together to overcome obstacles that hindered each other, and themselves. They found, and helped each other to become someone better." I then decided that was the best way to end it. "Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever."

*Later*

Kendrick had never been a loner, far from it. He had a lot of friends, and they were good friends as well. But he wasn't very close with his parents, often going out on his own to do his own thing.

He often clashed with his mother, often having different opinions than her, but it never physical. Kendrick wasn't the type to do that, he was just assertive, as his mother had told me.

His mother and father weren't very close either, sticking together only for the love of their son. Since Kendrick had died, they had separated from each other, only coming together on this day for him.

They also told me that he had a future, a real future that would of been good for him. Kendrick was smart, and often knew the steps that he had to take in order to reach what he wanted. But he was also impulsive and gullible, which was his down fall. He thought that if he entered the arena, he could get out, and make the district a better place to live. So he trained for it. They had only just found out after Kendrick had goodbye to his father. His mother, admitted, that the news caused her to faint. I couldn't blame her, not many tributes from non-career districts volunteer. But this situation was different, everyone had to volunteer. It was Kendrick choosing to volunteer that got to her.

His father explained to me that he had done his own training, and that because he was both strong and smart, that he'd have a good chance of winning. He thought he knew what to do, but his impulsive behaviour and gullible nature, was his down fall. They also blamed his optimistic thinking as a factor.

But most of all, they blamed me for his death. If I hadn't slit his belly open, he might of made it back to Caia and either one of them would of gotten home. If Caia had came back, they wouldn't of been mad at her, because they knew that Kendrick would of wanted her to come back home if he didn't.

I had to think to myself, Kendrick had always planned on volunteering, because he wanted to do something that was greater than himself. He wanted to change his district. He hated that he had to call this poverty stricken district his home. He just wanted their lives to be better, but instead, all he did was die. I sliced his gut open before Victory finished him off.

Even so, I had to wonder how many non-career tributes were actually brave enough to willingly want to volunteer for the games, even before the reaping slaughters. In a way, he was better than the career tributes, who won the majority of the games, but did nothing with their money except let it continue to pile up.

I couldn't change the district, but I could help those that were close to Kendrick. I didn't expect them to forgive me, but I left them enough money to last a couple of years. A part of Kendrick's wish was fulfilled. They took my money, but still didn't forgive me for taking away their son.

I wanted to say that Victory killed him, but then I thought, maybe Kendrick might of gotten to Caia if I hadn't slowed him down.

That night, I headed over to Caia's house. When asking for directions, I heard what people thought of Caia. They thought that she was bossy know it all perfectionist, and they thought that she was the same when she was in the arena, bossing Kendrick around. But some of them didn't say it to be mean, they said that she helped Kendrick survive, and for that, she got their respect. Some people even said that they hadn't expected Caia to be such a good fighter against Calamity. But they were also mad at me, because I had killed her, and partially killed Kendrick as well.

I was despised in this district, and I wanted to leave as soon as possible.

Caia's house was the opposite of Kendrick's. Unlike Kendrick's house, Caia's didn't look like it was going to fall apart in a year or two. Her's looked like it had been taken care of.

I knocked on the door, expecting to get more hostile treatment from her parents. Like Kendrick's parents, I expected them to shoot me dirty looks and want me to be dead. With Caia's parents, I wouldn't expect anything less.

Seconds past before I heard feet running towards me. It made me remember the attack I had experienced at Timber's house. Caia was smart, and I didn't know how smart her family was. If someone that was normal could set me on fire in seconds, I hated to think of what a smart person from District Three could think of.

Fearing for my life, I jumped back and to the side as the door burst open, revelling the twins that had been sitting under Caia's picture.

"Get her!" They both shouted. I expected a missile to fly towards me, but instead, they threw nothing at me. I looked at them, and saw that they were bare handed.

They charged right at me, and it was easy to stop them by sticking both my hands out. Their heads hit my palms, and I stopped them in their tracks. They tried to get closer to me, but they couldn't. They tried hitting me with their fists and feet, but they still couldn't reach me. "Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!" They shouted as they kept on trying to hurt me.

It would of worked if they were taller than four foot nothing. And apparently, they weren't as smart as Caia, because if they could think like her, they would of done a tactical maneuver and got to me. Instead, all they did was try to overpower me.

"Lanie! Mica!" A female voice called out. "That's enough."

The twins kept on shouting and trying to hit me. "Hey!" She shouted angrily. "I said that's enough!" It was enough for the boy and girl to scatter and run away. Pretty amazing, really.

I looked up at her, and saw that she had her arms crossed and was shooting daggers at me. "So, look who decided to show up. Victor Jenriko. Come to tell me how I should cook my other kids in case I get hungry?"

I had to push the image of deep frying the twins out of my mind before I could talk to her again.

"No." I told her. "First, I'm really sorry about Caia, I should of just..." I didn't want to say stab her in the back of the skull. I didn't even want to say how I should of killed her to her mother. That would of been suicide. "I'm just... Sorry."

"Sorry won't bring her back." She snarled.

"I know," I told her. "And I'm really sorry, but if you could just give me a minute-"

"I don't have a minute for you." She told me. "Now get out of here before I either call the peacekeepers, or kill you myself."

I don't know wither or not she could kill me or not, but I didn't want the peacekeepers to come and find me outside the feasting area. And if anything, I didn't want to hurt her as well. She was already suffering enough. So I left.

I had to fit the pieces myself. Caia didn't have any friends, wither that was helping take care of his family I didn't know. But most people thought that she was a perfectionist, a know it all, and bossy. I guess she must of gotten it from baby sitting her younger siblings. She was bad with people, so she must of not recognize people's feelings. That would explain a lot. She was like that in the arena, she wouldn't recognize some of Kendrick's expression and words. Some of Caritta's words.

Caia and Kendrick, two opposite people that probably wouldn't of meet each other otherwise.

Caia might not of been liked, but she was respected. It was strange, in my opinion.

I pretended to leave, but when Caia's mother was out of sight, I left some money on her door step. Enough to last her a couple of years.

I then started to walk away. I couldn't wait to get out of this district. Nobody liked me here. I started to know how people like Vida and Timber felt. And I didn't like it.

District Two (Of Villains and Truths, Part 1.)

Of all the districts that I didn't want to visit, this was the district that I wanted to not visit the most.

District Two was the home of Victory, and if I hadn't of won, Victory would of. I had killed her in the most brutal fashion, and now I was going to have to face her family. I didn't know what to do.

Before I even knew what was happening, I was on the stage, staring at my cards. Everyone was waiting for me to speak. I tried to speak, but couldn't. My mouth was dry, like there was cotton stuffed down my throat.

I looked over at Jeremiah's picture, which had a mother, father, and sister that looked twelve or thirteen years old under it. They didn't seem to be giving out any emotions.

I looked over at Victory's picture, to see a girl that looked like she was only ten years old, glaring at me with so much anger that I was almost afraid of her. Beside her was her mother, who looked at me with even more hatred than her daughter. If it weren't for the head peacekeeper holding her back, I'm sure she'd be up on the stage attacking me.

Looking at the two families only caused me to sweat.

Don't stress out Jen, I told myself. Jeremiah's family doesn't want to kill you. Only the family of psychopaths want to hurt you. For killing their daughter and sister. They had already lost one family member, it's not like they want to kill you for taking away another. They won't kill you. Will they?

"Hello... Um... District Two." I said as I tried to read my cards, trying to remember what to say. "We are in remembrance of two... People. That gave their... Um... Lives... So that this country shall remain... Alive. Never forget them."

The crowd just looked at me like I was stupid, but I didn't care, I didn't feel comfortable around Victory's family. I just wanted to get out of here.

*Later*

When I finally recovered from the shock that I had on the stage, I went out looking for Jeremiah's house. By some miracle, I meet his friend, Preston Link, who said that it wouldn't be a good idea for me to go to Jeremiah's house unless I wanted two angry families after me. When I asked why that'd happen, he told me that Jeremiah's father and mother were training their thirteen year old daughter, Abby, and they didn't want to be disturbed.

I had expected careers to be training, but I didn't expect to hear what Preston was going to say. He said that Jeremiah's father was extremely strict, and that he drills his family to the ground during training. That he partially abuses them when training, making them run around with cement sacks on their back in the rain. It didn't sound too bad until he told me that he kicks them to the ground, kicks them while they were down, and often hits them as well.

The worst thing that he told me was that Jeremiah was forced to kill people before he even went into the arena. Done by his own training instructors and his own father. They had deals with each other, get Jeremiah to be a great fighter, and they'd split the winnings, among other favours.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Jeremiah had been forced to kill other kids, because they wanted him to be numb towards killing other kids. It was cruel.

Jeremiah's mother wasn't much better, she supported the whole thing, while telling Jeremiah and his sister to look on the bright side of it. That by the time they were eighteen, they'd be powerful warriors. She had been disappointed that Jeremiah had volunteered a year early.

It turns out the reason for the circumstances were because Jeremiah's father never got the chance to go into the games and win, so he was going to get his kids to win. It reminded me of Jamie's father, except Jeremiah's was more extreme. It made me wonder how he could be as fun as he was, if his life was as hellish as it was.

It made me think that if Jeremiah turned out that way, what was Victory's home life like?

Preston was curious as well, so he decided to come with me, be a look out. I liked that idea, he could watch out for peacekeepers for me, and it would be a lot easier with two people sneaking around. I didn't want to go face to face with Victory's family, so sneaking it was.

We got directions to her house and started walking that way. Along the way, Preston told me that Victory was popular for being the most talented, and beautiful career teenager in the district. Preston then made a comment about Victory, saying that she was beautiful on the outside, but ugly on the inside, a lot like how she looked near the end of the games. I couldn't help but agree.

But knowing that she probably had a story behind her, just like every other tribute that had been in the arena, I had to guess there was a reason she had became so interiorly ugly. Maybe it was because of her brother's death. I was so stupid not to notice it earlier. Valentine. Vladimir Valentine. Victory Valentine. How did I not notice it earlier? Oh yeah, that's right, the old Jenriko didn't care.

Preston also suggested that it might be because Victory's aunt had won the games, and Victory's mother, didn't. So she swore to make her kids victors. That might be the reason, but if it was like normal career training, then I couldn't see how Victory could of ended up that way. But if it turned out to be like Jeremiah's training, then that would be a little more explainable.

Before we even got to the house, we heard the screaming of a woman and a young girl. I didn't know wither to be scared or horrified. Preston was smiling. He said he couldn't wait to see how Valley Valentine was getting beat up. I was horrified at what he said. Did he really mean that? I looked at him closer, and saw that he was. Maybe District Two was naturally psychotic.

When we got to the house, the screams were louder. A woman was swearing and shouting profanity while the little girl was crying.

Preston and I climbed to the top of the wooden fence, and saw just what the girl was crying about.

It was a horrific scene. The little girl was covered in bruises, all around the center mass of her area and leg area. Places where they wouldn't be spotted easily due to being covered up most of the time. There were cuts and skin peeling in some areas. Sand was caked on her face and neck. The girl's mother was holding a wooden sword.

Among the other things scattered around the yard was a rain barrel, weights, obstacle courses, cement bags ropes, weapons, punching bags, practice dummies, piles of sand, shovels, and many other items.

"Your sister was a worthless, pathetic, piece of shit!" Victory's mother shouted as he readied her wooden weapon. "She got killed by some fifteen year old, skinny ass cunt! You want to be killed by some fucking cunt?"

"No." The girl cried.

"Then give me another five pull ups!" The little girl then tried to lift her body weight up, but she couldn't even get one pull up done. The mother saw that as well. She grabbed her and dragged her over to the rain barrel full of water and forced her head under the water.

I gasped as I saw the little girl's arms and legs fight back, but couldn't get free.

Just when I thought that the little girl had drowned, Victory's mother pulled her head out and started to beat her with the wooden sword. "Pathetic." She said as her daughter sobbed in the grass.

Victory's mother than put a pallet over the little girl's body, then started to pile cement bags on it. Eight cement bags. Thirteen cement bags. Sixteen. "If you want dinner tonight, you'll get out of there. If you don't get out in an hour, no dinner or breakfast for you."

Valley tried to get the pallet of heavy cement bags off of her, but she wasn't strong enough. I doubted that she could get it off even if she was a full strength.

"It's not fair!" Valley screamed. "Victory said she'd save me!"

"Only if she won." The mother explained. "Victory said that if she volunteered, and won, that you wouldn't have to go through training anymore. Well, the bitch died. Now you're going to train and become a winner. Trust me, you'll thank me."

"Like Victory and Vlad thanked you?" She spat. I could see from here that her mother must of blown a fuse, because she grabbed a roll of thick tape and taped it over her daughter's mouth.

"That should teach you some respect!" The mom shouted before kicking the top of Valley's head. I couldn't help but gasp out in shock. Everything that was happening in front of me, was beyond cruel. If this was how Victory lived every day of his life, then I could see why she'd be so psychotic. Not only that, but from what Valley said, Victory was trying to win the games for her. Victory was trying to save her from this fate.

I let go of the fence and fell to the ground, shocked and pained at what Victory had been fighting for. She may of been my villain, but she was trying to be a hero to her sister.

Victory could of saved Valley, something that I can't do. I knew that I was going to be crying all the way to the Capitol because of that.

The Capitol (Of Choices and Submission.)

If there was one thing that the Capitol didn't understand, it was suffering. To them, suffering was not getting invited to a party, or if they do get to go into that party, they were wearing the wrong thing. That was suffering to them. Something stupid, something that was nothing compared to real suffering.

I bet that if they went to District One and tried to do our career training for one day, they'd think that they died and went to Hell. I don't think they'd survive a day in Districts Three, Five, and up. They might not even survive the career districts if they had to live our life styles for a week.

District One was rich, only rivalled by Districts Two and Four, but we were nothing compared to the Capitol. We had enough to eat, we didn't stare, unlike the other districts. But we didn't let any go to waste, we tried to save as much as we could, because things could still go wrong. Not only that, but our jewellery mines had to send nearly everything that they dug up to the Capitol. And those jewels were being surgically placed into their bodies. They thought it made them look good, it actually made them look like freaks.

At Capitol parties, they'd drink this clear liquid that would make them vomit up everything that they ate, all so that they could stuff themselves again. They'd do that several times at one party. All that food, going to waste because they wanted the party to continue.

They didn't care about wasting food, or drinks, or anything at all. It was normal life to them.

Meanwhile, in areas of Panem that only offered them food and gifts and tributes, were starving and suffering for real. Daria's district, Adrian's district, and Tanner's district getting the worst of it. The starving bodies and hopelessness in their eyes said it all.

It was sickening, watching these Capitol folks act the way that they did.

They couldn't understand why I looked at them with disgust every time I saw them drinking that clear liquid. They thought that since I didn't do it myself, that I couldn't understand why it was fun. I didn't think it was fun, I had vomited enough times without that liquid to know that vomiting wasn't fun.

If there was another thing that they didn't understand, it was having to live with yourself after the games. They just couldn't understand why I couldn't eat red clam sauce, chicken legs, ice cream with strawberry sauce poured over it, deep fried spring rolls, ground meat, and more. They couldn't understand that I couldn't eat those things without remembering Tanner's mutilated body, Perla getting ripped to pieces, Jamie's head getting chopped in half, Caia getting deep fried, me ripping apart Victory's brains. I couldn't eat a lot of things without remembering something that happened in the arena.

They told me to get over it, that time heals everything. Well time heals physical wounds, but I don't know about mental trauma. I'm no doctor, but I can say that time hasn't healed my mental wounds any.

They also didn't understand that I hated the changes that happened to my body. They thought that it made me look and sound better. I didn't think so. I liked by old body, the body that was mine before.

They said they fixed my body, but they did it in their image. They enlarged my breasts and butt, causing me to lose that gymnastic body that I had loved so much. It was harder to manoeuvre my body, even if they were only one or two sizes bigger.

My hair was now brighter, shinier, and softer with more bounce. It felt weird and when I looked at it, it was like I was wearing a wig. It was that different.

My eyes were still emerald green. Mostly. They made it a few shades brighter and took some of that blue shading out, giving it a more bright green colour with just a tint of blue. They also did something that made it seem that my eyes sparkled slightly.

Not only that, but they changed my voice as well. At first I thought that it was because of my throat injury. But it turns out they fixed it, before making even more changes to my voice. My voice was softer, slightly higher pitched, more adult like in a way. In short, it was a more seductive voice.

They also reconstructed my cheek bones and forehead slightly. I only discovered that after my final interview, after I won the games. I looked at myself in the mirror, and saw a stranger in my body. I looked like me, but at the same time, I didn't.

I wanted my old body, back, but that wasn't possible. They told me that with time, I'd like the changes. I didn't think so. This body was too different for me. It didn't feel like me.

Really, it wasn't for me to decide. My 'admirers' liked the new Jenriko better, and I was forced to go along with them.

If there was another thing that the games, and the Capitol, ruined for me, it was sex. Sex was supposed to be really good, and it had been. My first time had been amazing, but since the rape with Calamity and the prostitution with Capitol men and women, sex wasn't even something that I enjoyed anymore. To me, it was just something that I had to do. Sure I'd plenty of moments where I'd get a rush of pleasure, but that was because of the raging hormones inside me due to my pregnancy. Other than that, I didn't enjoy it.

Capitol men and women using me as their plaything, it was almost like they were raping me. So much so, that every time I had sex with a man, I'd see Calamity. And every time I'd have sex with a woman, I'd see Victory, sometimes burnt and sometimes not. They didn't understand why I didn't enjoy it more.

They couldn't see that I couldn't forget about the deaths, the rape, the changes, the friendships, and the changes that I had gone through. It wasn't like switching a light switch, my memories would stay.

District One. (Of Villains and Truths, Part 2.)

Everyone has a story. Most of the time, it's not shared equally.

Zeal. Wren. Victory. Those were only three out of so many examples. I saw the world from one perspective, my perspective. I saw that Victory was a complete monster and a psychopath that was killing for fun. That she only wanted to win the games like the rest of us. But what I didn't know was that while she was a monster, and a psychopath, she was someone that was righting for more that herself. She was fighting for her sister, Valley. Victory wanted to get her sister out of the torture camp that their mother had set up.

The world was different from another person's eyes. What I thought, wasn't exactly what was going on. People saw me killing a girl that just wouldn't die. A girl that had killed everyone close to me. What Victory saw was another step towards freeing her sister.

If that was the story of one of the villains of the arena, what was the other? The one that I had despised for the longest time?

I went around the district, looking for anyone that knew anything about Calamity Mershade other than what everyone else already knew. But it turns out, nobody knew anything about him other than that he went to the correctional facility, that burned down the Celeste family with them still in it, raped that one girl, and escaped the correctional facility before the rest of history happened.

As far as everyone knew, that had been no Calamity Mershade for years on end. No record what so ever. He just appeared in the middle of a path of destruction. I found that very interesting. He hadn't existed since that arson attack, so what was he, a ghost or something?

I tried to go into the correctional facility, but I wasn't allowed into it. They said that only staff and patients were allowed inside. I may of been a victor, the power I had was limited. The Capitol didn't care what was happening in District One as long as we weren't killing ourselves in vast numbers, creating a rebellion, or failing to deliver our quota of jewels to them.

There was only one thing that I could do. Sneak into the correctional facility myself, find records of Calamity, and escape. If he could escape, than so could I.

But I couldn't do it right now. Not while I was six months pregnant.

I kept on thinking of how this kid was Calamity's, and wondered if I wanted to keep it. Did I really want to keep a kid around to remind me of what Calamity did to me? I had enough trauma to last me a lifetime, but I still had to decide which path I wanted to take with this one trauma. Be reminded of how Calamity raped me every single day, or live with the guilt that I killed someone that didn't need to die?

Things used to be easy. Good people were good people, and bad people were bad people. But now, good people were bad people as well, and bad people were also good. Things were so confusing now. Nothing was right, and it made everything so much worse.

I was out of the arena, but I was still playing with the Capitol for their entertainment. My games weren't over just yet.

It's a nightmare, and I don't see myself ever waking up.