Hi.

I'm the worst person ever, I know. For those of you who actually come back to read this, bless your patient souls. I have a lot of free time as of late, so I'm going to try and update more.

No one edited it, so please excuse any and all errors.

Enjoy the chapter :)

My heart thumps loudly in my chest as my mom and I talk. The conversations proves to be primarily one sided; she talks on and on about a man named Phil and how happy they are together. She says that he does construction and that the two have a small house on the outskirts of town. She asks me a few questions here and there, but mainly talks about herself and her life.

Eventually, the conversation winds down, and she asks the question I've been dreading to deal with.

"I'd love to see you."

Every bone in my body is urging me to say no and tell her to leave me alone, but a small voice in the back of my mind tells me I have to do it. I need to see her, to prove to myself that even though she was just as bad as Edward, she could get better.

"Sure. When?"

We agree on meeting next week in Seattle. She says she is bringing Phil with her, so I tell her I am going to bring my special someone.

First I have to ask him.

I dial his number, and he picks up on the second ring.

"Miss me already?" he asks.

I roll my eyes, but there's a huge smile on my face.

"Oh yes, my heart is breaking from your absence," I say with a laugh. "But I actually need to ask a favor of you…" I trail off, picking at the fuzz on my blanket.

"Anything, babe. What's up?"

I sigh and flop back on my bed. "Well I called my mom," I begin quietly, nervous for some reason.

"Good for you, Bella. I'm proud of you," he says, and I can hear the admiration in his voice.

"I agreed to see her," I say with a sigh. "Next week, we're going to meet in Seattle, and I'm terrified about it. But I know something that would help me."

"What's that?" he asks, sounding extremely hesitant.

"Will you come with me?"

I can't help my surprise when there's a long pause, as he seems to consider my question. I expected him to jump at the opportunity to help me out, seeing as he is the one who ragged on me to get ahold of her. But after a full minute of silence, my stomach starts turning.

"I mean…if you don't want to, you don't have to. I could just really use you there," I begin to ramble. "I'm really worried about seeing her and I don't know what she's going to say or even what she's going to look like, and I would really…."

"It's not that I don't want to go, Bella," he finally says quietly. "I just have to check with my agent to make sure that it would be safe for me to head into the city that day. This day is going to be hard enough for you and I don't want to screw it up by having a bunch of paparazzi up my ass."

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "I understand. Just, you know…let me know. I'd be really great to have you there, paparazzi or not."

"I'll call my agent in the morning and try to figure something out," he promises.

For some reason, I didn't believe him.

I tell my dad about the phone call the next morning, and he surprises me with how supportive he is. Even though it would have been awkward as all get out, he even offered to go with me until I told him the date; he had to work that night, as usual, but it was the thought that counted.

"I really don't want you to go alone, though," he says. "Why don't you ask Jasper, or that Cullen boy?"

Ever since he heard "through the rumor mill" that Edward and I were dating, he'd taken to calling Edward "that Cullen Boy."

"I asked Edward," I say. "But he's not sure if he can go."

My dad looks at me funny. "Why the hell not?"

"Uhm…something about not wanting to make it worse by having paparazzi follow him around."

My dad grunts loudly. "Well if he really is your boyfriend, he should still be there."

I know, dad. I know.

The week flies by quickly, and with it flies my sanity. As my trip in Seattle approaches, I find myself becoming more and more nervous. I don't sleep at night and I can barely eat any food. Alice does her best to keep me preoccupied. She takes me on shopping trips to Port Angeles and has me over for dinner a few nights. I know she means well, but the distractions don't help and I only get more frustrated.

What frustrates me more is Edward.

He acts normal most of the time but every time Seattle or my mother is mentioned, he gets nervous and fidgety. He keeps telling me his agent is working on it, that he's going to do his best to be there, but for some reason, I don't believe him.

The Thursday before I leave, he finally gives me an answer.

"I'm sorry, Bella, but I can't," he says as we sit in his living room. "My agent says there's a ton of press in Seattle right now because some movie is being filmed there, and chances are, I'd be followed. I don't want to put you through that."

I nod and bite my lip, keeping my eyes focused on my hands. "I understand."

"I'm really sorry," he says.

"It's fine," I say, glancing at the clock. "But I actually have to get home. My dad wants me home for dinner tonight, and I have to do homework and stuff…" I trail off as I stand up. "I'll see you in school tomorrow?"

He nods and stands up, wrapping his arms around me. "Yeah. I'll see you tomorrow."

I walk to the front door just as Alice and Jasper are walking up the stairs hand and hand. Alice smiles at me but Jasper, who knows me all too well, stops in his tracks.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

I shake my head and grab my backpack off the floor. "Nothing, uhhh…I just…I'm gonna head home. I'll see you two later."

I rush past them and jump into my truck. Jasper and Alice just stare at me as I pull away, and I barely make it to my house before I'm in tears. I'm thankful Charlie isn't home yet as I head into the living room and fall down on the couch. Velma hops onto my back and meows, but not even her cuteness can help me today.

I don't know why Edward's refusal bothers me so much. On a logical sense, I understand. It would be obnoxious to have photographers follow us around all day. But on the other hand we were…

What were we? And when did I even start hoping that we were…a thing?

I jump in surprise when I feel a hand brush the back of my head, but I know the touch immediately.

"Come on, Bells. Sit up," Jasper whispers.

I do as he says and the minute he wraps his arms around me, I fall apart.

"I don't know what this bothers me so much," I groan.

"Because you love him."

I freeze in his arms and look up at Jasper. "No, I don't."

He rolls his eyes. "Bella, I know you have that whole 'love cynic' thing going on, but I can tell you care about him more than you want to. You love him, or at least you're on your way there."

I don't want to talk about it, so I rest my head against his shoulder.

"I'm terrified, Jasper," I whisper. "I'm terrified about how I feel, I'm terrified about seeing my mom…I'm just scared."

He squeezes me. "Well I'm no Edward, but would it make you feel better if I tagged along?"

I smile at him through my tears. "I'd feel a lot better."

Saturday morning, Jasper and I sat in some random park, waiting for my mother to show up. We had gotten there a little early, mainly to give myself some time to calm down and think. But as the small hand got closer and closer to eleven, my heart started to pound harder and faster.

But when I finally saw her, my heart almost stopped.

Next chapter, we finally meet her mom!

Lots of Love!