I love you guys.

The response to the past few chapters has been great. I love reading your reviews and your PMs, so please continue to send me your feedback! I love it.

Some of you have been saying that you really hope Bella doesn't forgive Edward so easily and that you're worried about their relationship. So I will just say this: I am a firm believer in happy endings, but I don't believe the come easily. So this story will have some sort of happy ending, but it's not going to be easy. This chapter should relieve some of your concerns.

So please read and enjoy!

My dad wasn't home when Jasper dropped me off. Even though I really didn't want to talk about it, I guess a part of me wanted to see him when I got home. I needed to see the familiar face of my father who, despite everything I had been through, had always been there for me. But the house was empty, except for Velma of course, so I scooped her up and ran upstairs to my bedroom.

I lay down and sunk in to my covers. I didn't want to resurface.

~O~

A tentative knock on my door a few hours later rouses me from my stupor. I grunt, letting Charlie know I'm in here and am alive. He pokes his head inside and smiles at me.

"How'd it go?" he asks, and I can hear in his voice how hopeful he is that she didn't mess up. But one look at my face must give him the answer he needs. "What happened?"

I sit up and let Velma scamper over to my father. He walks into the room and sits on the bed.

"She, uh…" I itch my arm absentmindedly at the thought of Renee's scars. "She's no better, dad."

He rubs a hand over his face and groans. "Damn it."

"Did you know?" I ask, looking him straight in his eyes.

He shakes his head. "I always wondered why she never attempted to at least get visitation rights, but I always just figured it was because she thought she hurt you too much. But then when she started calling you again, I thought she finally turned her life around." He looks at me seriously. "I'm sorry, Bella."

I stand up and glare at him. "Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for," I say. "I'm so stupid. I don't know why I expected her to be different. I just hoped she would try. Dad, she told me she regretted everything. She regretted meeting you and marrying you so early and everything that followed."

He looks at me. I know this isn't the first time he's heard my mother say that, but I don't think he was getting it. "Dad, if that never would have happened, I wouldn't be here. She regrets me. She blames me for the way she is now, and how am I supposed to live with that? How am I supposed to live with thinking I'm a mistake that ruined her life?" I'm yelling at him now, but he doesn't say anything. He just looks at me sadly.

"Why am I not good enough for her? Why am I not good enough for anyone?" I'm starting to cry, but I can't find it in me to stop. I sink to the floor and start to full on sob, and I know I must be terrifying Charlie, but he surprises me when he kneels down next to me and wraps his arms around my shuttering form.

"You're good enough for me, Bells," he whispers quietly.

~O~

I don't go to school that Monday. Dad doesn't even bother coming up to my room to check and see if I'm going. I hear the door shut around 7:30 and know that he's allowing me to have the day to myself. Something shifted yesterday between my dad and I. We've never been particularly touchy feely, but after yesterday, I feel closer to him than ever.

That's the only positive I can pull out of this situation between my mom and I.

I hear my phone ding again, but I don't bother looking at the screen; I know it's just another message from Edward, and I don't want to deal with that right now. I've already listened to some of the voicemails and read some of the text messages. I know he feels bad about not coming with me and he wants to explain, but I'm beyond that at this point.

Seeing my mom living with her addiction would have given me hope. Instead she tore any hope I had to shreds.

~O~

I knew I couldn't avoid Edward much longer. By Monday night, my phone was full. I knew the only reason he wasn't coming over was probably because Jasper told him to back off.

I need to make that boy dinner soon.

So I finally break down and text him a simple "I'm fine."

He calls me right away.

"Hey, Edward," I say, my stomach rolling nervously.

"Thank God, Bella," he says and I can hear the relief in his voice. "I was really starting to freak out. Jasper told me to stay away from you, but I was about three texts away from breaking into your house to see what was going on."

"I'm sorry," I say. "I just had a lot to process and I couldn't…I didn't…I don't know."

"I want to be there for you, Bella," he murmurs. "But I can't do that unless you tell me what happened. Can I come over?"

I don't really want to deal with this conversation right now, but as I think about it, I realize I'm never going to want to talk with him about what happened. I sigh and tell him to come over now.

I pace by the door, anxious, knowing that this conversation isn't going to end well. I had to make a decision. Could I deal with this again? Could I deal with another person in my life that has no control over their actions, that is controlled by their addictions?

When Edward knocks on the door my heart rate spikes and I can't breathe for a second. But as soon as I open the door and look into his familiar green eyes, my heart rate slows back down and I finally catch my breath.

I can do this.

"Come on in," I say as I move out of the way.

He walks into the house and I can't help but stare at him, this beautiful boy who crashed into my life and in his own way changed everything for me.

I could have loved him. I know that now.

We sit down on the couch and face each other, and I think we both know this isn't going to end well. He reaches out and grabs my hand and, even though I know it'll make it harder, I allow myself this moment.

"You really let me down," I say as I stare at our hands. I look up into his eyes and I can see he already knows that.

"I know," he whispers. "Jasper wouldn't give me details but he said it was bad."

I sigh and drop his hand. "It's not just that, Edward," I say. "I mean, yeah, seeing my mom was awful. She's a terrible person who refuses to try to get better because she doesn't care enough about herself. But Edward, when I looked at her, all I could see was you."

He looks taken aback for a moment, and then he narrows his eyes.

"Bella, your mom and I are not the same person!" he exclaims.

I roll my eyes and stand up. "I know! But you could be!"

"I haven't done anything in a long time, you know that!"

"Just listen!" I yell. "My mother only ever tried to get better so that she could see me again. But somewhere along the line, I stopped being enough. And when you decided to finally start getting help, you kept saying you were doing it because you wanted to be better for me, not for yourself. And Edward, you need to want to get better for yourself.

"Because someday, I'm going to stop being enough," I say. "You're famous, Edward. Every director wants you in their films and every girl wants you in their bed. I'm not going to be enough to help you."

"Bella, you are enough!" he says as he stands up and walks to stand in front of me. "You will always be enough for me."

I shake my head. "You say that now. But Edward, I don't want you to come to resent me later on in life. I don't want you to look at me and just see me as the person who made you become clean. It's a battle. You have to fight every day. And I need you to fight for yourself. Not for me. I can't be that person. I'm sorry."

He stops moving and just stares at me. "What are you trying to say, Bella?"

"I can't do this anymore," I whisper. "Whatever we are, I can't do it. I'm sorry."

I'm surprised when tears well up in his eyes. He grabs my hands and pulls me to him and I take a deep breath so I won't start crying.

"I love you, Bella. I can't do this without you."

I push away from him. "I want to love you, Edward. But I can't. Not yet."

Edward doesn't say anything for a long minute. He just stares at me. But suddenly his features twist into anger and he walks away from me and walks outside, slamming the door behind him.

So there's that.

Please review! Like I said I love reading your responses. I'll hopefully be updating again tonight; now that I'm confident with how I want this story to go, I'll be able to get the chapters out decently quick.

Lots of Love,

Emilia Elliot