Hello!

So here's the next chapter. It's not super long, but the story's going to jump forward after the next chapter, so this is kind of setting it up.

Enjoy the chapter.

Also, if anyone can figure out what song the chapter title is from, I'll give you an imaginary gold star and a shoutout before the story is over :)

Edward left.

After our argument or break up or whatever you want to call it, we didn't talk for a couple of days. School was awkward; we all sat near each other at lunch, but most of the conversation was made up of Alice and Jasper talking. They would attempt to bring Edward and I into different conversations, but we would simply reply to whatever was said before we'd go back to staring at our lunches.

It was uncomfortable, but I didn't regret it.

I knew I did the right thing, no matter how much it sucked.

But a few days later, he called me and despite my surprise and my nerves, I answered.

"Hey Edward," I said in greeting.

"Hi," he responded quietly. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to right now, but I just need to tell you something."

"I'm glad you called, Edward," I replied as I stand up to shut my bedroom door. "What's up?"

There was along moment of silence before he spoke again.

"I'm going back to LA," he said quickly. "I've had enough time out of my world. I need to go back."

I was shocked. Was he ready to go back? Could he handle it? Did I even have the right to care? I was the one who cut him off and stopped it all. Did I have the right to tell him how worried it made me, him going back to LA and possibly ruining all the progress he made?

"If that's what you think is best," I finally said. "I'll miss you, Edward."

He sighed loudly and I waited for him to respond.

"I'll miss you too. I'm sorry, Bella. For everything."

My eyes begin to water, and I briefly wonder where that snarky girl went and where this blubbery mess came from.

"Me, too."

He was gone the next day.

~O~

I hear from Alice from time to time. Her and Jasper are attempting the long distance relationship and since the Cullen's have more than enough money, she promised she'd be able to fly back and forth until he graduates. They were going to try to go to colleges near each other.

Even though I never heard from Edward in person, I see enough of him on magazine covers. The instant his plane landed in LA, he was on the front page of People and US. He hadn't done any interviews since he had gotten back, but all the tabloids were speculating about what had happened during his time in Forks. My name showed up a few times, but none of the Cullen's would comment.

Everything seemed to be slowly going back to normal. Edward was becoming a person I hardly knew. Lauren and Jessica went back to throwing out the occasional "Buddah Bella" at me, but nothing worse. My mom hadn't tried contacting me since we saw each other.

Until today.

A letter arrived addressed to me from Renee, and my first instinct was to rip it up and forget about it. I didn't want to talk to her. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want anything from her.

But at the same time, I needed to know what she could possibly have to say to me.

I opened it slowly and took a long deep breath before I started to read.

Bella,

I've been trying to figure out what to say to you. I still don't know what to say, but I'm trying to get all my thoughts out and I figure you deserve to know everything so I'm just going to write whatever comes to my mind.

First of all, let me say I'm sorry. I know I've been an awful person and an even worse mother. But please let me try and explain why I've been such a screw up.

When I met your father, we were very young. I thought I loved him, and I knew he loved me. We moved too fast. We got married right out of high school and had you so soon, and it was just so much to handle. At first, I was in the honeymoon stage and I was so happy with your dad and with you. You were perfect in my eyes. But then, as you got older and as the bliss faded away, I started to get antsy. I've always been a free spirit, Bella. But I knew I had an obligation to you and your father. And I loved you so much. And even though I figured out I didn't love him, I knew I cared for him and I couldn't leave him behind. So after a while, I found ways to make it easier. It started with prescription drugs. Then it progressed until heroin was all I could think about.

I never did it to hurt you, but I felt so trapped and terrified. I needed to find a way to feel free again, and that's what it did. It helped me get through the day and feel like myself again. When I left, I thought I was doing the right thing for you and for your dad. But after I was gone and when your father and I met with the lawyers, I realized I wanted you in my life. And I had every intention of getting clean, but there was more to it than just that.

I blamed you. I didn't realize it until I saw you in Seattle, but I blamed you completely. But seeing you again made me realize that you aren't to blame. You never were. It's not your fault I rushed into things with Charlie. It's not your fault, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that way. I'm sorry that you thought I regretted you.

I'm sorry that, for a while, I did.

I was in a dark place for a long time, Bella. And I blamed everyone except for the person who I should blame: me. Seeing you again made me finally blame myself for everything.

Since I saw you, I left Phil. I'm going to try and get better. I want a different life. I want a better life. So I'm going to try my best to get clean.

I'm sorry for everything, Bella. And I know that you may not believe this, but I do love you.

If you want to reply, I'd love to hear from you. But if you don't, I will understand. I'm so proud of you, Bella. You've grown into such a lovely young woman and I know you are going to do great things with your life. I love you.

Mom

Review!

Lots of love,

Emilia Elliot