Hello!

Here's another chapter. I told you I was going to be jumping around a little bit with time. This chapter jumps ahead a few months from the previous chapter. The next chapter will jump ahead even farther.

Stick with me. Things will start getting better eventually.

Enjoy!

June

"So you graduate tomorrow?" Heidi asks as she takes a seat across from me.

"Yup," I say with a smile. "Finally! I'm so ready to get out of that place."

Heidi laughs. "I'd tell you to cherish this time and that you'll eventually want it back, but I know that's a lie."

I laugh with her. After the first few sessions, I opened up and told Heidi everything the girls at school had done to me, from the nicknames to the milk incident to the most recent, which consisted of them tripping me in the hallway and causing me to sprain my ankle…which caused them a week of suspension.

My dad made me start seeing Heidi a few weeks after our talk back in February. At first, I hated her. She was gorgeous and perfect and blonde, which reminded me too much of Lauren, but after a couple sessions, she proved to me that I was far too judgmental. She was great and she really seemed to understand me. We stuck to lighter topics at first, about how I was treated in high school and about my friends, primarily Jasper and Alice.

But the first session we had in April, she sat me down and asked me to talk about my parents. I told her a ton about Charlie and our relationship, about how we had gotten closer in the past few months and how similar we were. But then she asked about mom and it was like a dam opened. I told her everything about her, how amazing she was when I was really young and how happy she seemed. I told her about finding the needle and realizing something else was happening. I told her about the letters and phone calls and the visit and the newest letter that I wasn't sure I wanted to answer.

And after that, I trusted her. She was able to help me see the situation in a different light. Eventually, I started to realize how much of my life I've wasted being bitter about something that I couldn't change instead of just moving on and tying to get over it.

And after we opened the can of worms with my mom, I told her about what happened with Edward. She remained very professional when we talked about it, but I could tell a part of her wanted to fangirl over it. She asked me what happened and when I explained how I told him to leave, she agreed that I was afraid. She said the next step was getting over that fear, and that's what we've been working on.

Edward was a mystery to me nowadays. I hadn't heard from him-which didn't surprise me-and he appeared less and less in the tabloids. There were rumors about movies he was planning to star in and people he was dating (which did hurt), but that was it. He still hadn't really done any interviews. When Jasper talked to Alice, he said she never really wanted to talk about Edward, but would always say that he was fine, just figuring things out.

I could understand that.

"Have you sent anything to your mom yet?" she asks, snapping me back to the present.

I shake my head. "No, but I think I'm ready," I say nervously. "I've been thinking about what I want to say and I finally think I know."

"Good for you, Bella," she says. "I'm proud of you."

I grin at her. Hearing Heidi say that meant a lot to me. I know she was just my therapist, but I had come to consider her my friend. I respected her a great deal and I loved knowing that she was proud of me.

"Any ideas on college yet?" she asks.

I groan. That was the one place in my life that was still at a standstill. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. Did I want to go to college? And if so, what did I want to major in? Did I want to take a year off and explore my options before I firmly decide on something?

I had so many choices, but I had no idea which way to go.

"Nope," I reply. "I'm just not sure I want to jump back into school so soon. I've never been out of Washington. I want to just…be for a while, if that makes sense."

Heidi nods encouragingly. "There's nothing wrong with that. People take time off of school all the time. Letting yourself have a year or two off isn't a bad thing. Not going to college isn't a bad thing. You have to figure out what's right for you."

Easier said than done.

~O~

When I get home, I go upstairs to my room and sit down at my desk. I pick up a pen, the same pen Charlie handed me months ago, and pull out a sheet of paper. I take a long, deep breath and start writing.

Renee,

I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond. I've had a lot to think about the past few months and I wanted to be able to write this with as much of a clear head as possible.

When I saw you in Seattle, I didn't handle things the right way. I panicked and flipped out and got defensive. I was right, but I should have taken a step back and calmed down.

But can you blame me for freaking out?

After reading your letter, I have a better sense of why you did what you did. But I still don't understand, and I don't think I ever will. But since I sat down and read your letter (more than once) and took the time to hear you out, I want the chance to do the same.

I fell in love with a guy. A great guy. And it wasn't until I let him go that I realized that I messed everything up. And even though I was the one who told him to go, I realized that it was your actions that made me do it. When I was a kid, you and Dad were the very definition of love to me. I saw you two together and was reminded of all those princess and princes in the books you would read me.

But then you left. Dad was devastated. I was devastated. I found the needle and, after some time and a lot of questions, I put the pieces together. You left me because of what you did with that needle. You got so caught up in yourself that you couldn't even stand to stay with your family. Dad never found anyone else again and then you would write me these letters about all of these different men and you were madly in love with all of them and somewhere along the line, I stopped believing in love all together.

When I first met this guy, I hated him. (I won't tell you who it is, but if you ever pick up a magazine or watch TV, you may be able to figure it out). He just came across as this pompous, arrogant jerk and I immediately hated him. But then I got to know him and I started to genuinely care about him. Though I wouldn't admit it and never got to tell him, I fell in love. And then I found out he had his own addiction. And he became you. After I saw you, not only was I completely crushed that you hadn't kicked the addiction, but in you, I saw what he could become. I couldn't stand the idea of becoming a regret to him like I had to you. So I told him I couldn't be with him and he left.

I hate you for what you did, but I will always love you because you're my mom. Nothing in the world can change that and, when I was a kid, I remember having a lot of great times with you. I don't know if I'll ever want to see you again, but you can write to me. I can't promise I'll always reply.

Bella.

I walk down the street to the mailbox and slip the letter inside.

I feel lighter already.

Another chapter done! We're getting so so so close to the end, and I can't believe it.

The support I've received over the past couple chapters has been amazing! I've gotten so many follows, favorites and reviews and I'm so honored and flattered and ridiculously happy! Pleaseee continue to review. I love hearing what you have to say.

Thank you all again!

Lots of love,

Emilia Elliot