A/N: So what do you think of Justin?

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters related to Twilight.

CHAPTER 8: THE FACTS OF LIFE

I gathered up the memory culprits, put them back in the green box and stowed it back down in the third drawer. Looking down, I realized I had written it all out in a notebook but sat there wallowing in a heavy disappointment of the anguish I had felt that day and even more anguish over now being a vampire. Okay, so maybe revisiting that summer was briefly distracting but not exactly a Hallmark Channel movie of the week. At least I didn't have to submit this as documentation to Carlisle.

I went downstairs and pulled the casserole out of the oven and popped it on the trivet. Cool new part of being a vampire with cold, marble skin? I didn't need to use potholders. My skin was impermeable to excessive heat.

I really just needed to throw that whole green box out. That isn't me anymore, I thought. My life is completely different now. My entire future has been altered. I don't even know if I have a future. I feel so damn completely lost in my present. Alice always says that when you can live forever, you only have a present and a future. There is no past.

I went back upstairs and turned my attention to my computer, bringing up an address search directory. Could Justin still live in Port Angeles? I looked up his name and found three addresses for him. . .only one was in Port Angeles; this must be his home address.

My mind lingered to the next time I saw him after the party, about three weeks later. As I was entering the locker room to get changed I caught him goofing off with another guy. He was wearing a baseball hat that had a big H on it. He grinned shamelessly at me and looked at me in a way that I can only describe as if he was high—maybe he was and I didn't realize it? With a quick pinching of his rim between his thumb and index finger, he tipped his hat up to me to gesture hi. I asked, "Are you going to Harvard?" And he just grinned, "Yeah, Harvard."

That was it. No conversation. No recognition. Just smitten-filled smiles from me and probably laughing from him. I knew I couldn't be certain he remembered me. He was probably drinking enough at the party to have forgotten all about talking to me. He surely had forgotten my name, and how could I have blamed him? He was the one that made an impression on me, not the other way around.

The next time we met, almost two weeks after the hat incident, summer was flying by, and I thought I was more prepared because I was always hoping to see him again. Yet I was wrong.

I was in no way prepared.

I had worked a later shift. It was after dark, and I was heading to the Employee Dining Area for a late break. I loved the walk to the Employee Dining at night because I got to see the park all lit up. There was a different buzz in the air at night as people walked around in glow-in-the-dark necklaces and the coasters roared along the tracks. It was its own world of excitement with dancing colors as the lights blinked. Sweet music could be heard encircling each ride. My most favorite ride to see all lit up was the Ferris wheel. It could be seen for miles outside the park at night, beckoning those to this magical place created here in the Pacific Northwest.

I decided to stop and watch the park in fascination and prolong my time away from the games stand. Fireworks started to go off yielding bursts of exploding rainbows and shapes in the air higher above than even the Ferris wheel went, just as I was inside the lounge's gate. I leaned up against a large tree and pulled out my fresh box of cigarettes, packed them, and opened them up figuring I would have one now to keep myself company. That is when he came walking by, alone for once. He stopped when he saw me and looked surprised.

"You smoke now?" he asked.

"Uhhh, yeah. Just here and there. See what this place has done to me?" I laughed nervously. "Do you want one?" I held out the box of Marlboro Lights to him.

"Sure," he answered lightly. "So have you got a light this time justBella?"

This time? He remembered the party and my name? My eyes opened wide in surprise.

Once I realized I never wanted to be caught without a light ever, ever again, the day after the party, I had bought five new lighters in five different colors from one of the souvenir stands. I pulled out two lighters, a blue and an orange one, with the intention of just giving him one.

I held the blue lighter out to him and opened my mouth to tell him that he could keep it when he took a step closer to me.

"JustBella, when a guy asks you for a light don't you know you're supposed to hold the flame up to his cigarette?" His voice was low and sweet. His words were intentional as he breathed into my face.

I flushed . . . everywhere. I gave myself a chance to look into his eyes. His voice turned smoother, gentler. "Ummm, no," I replied through a gulp of Drakkar-enriched air.

He took another step closer to me. I shivered, and felt my heels meeting the tree behind me slightly as he continued to speak softly.

"And justBella, when a guy bums a cigarette from you," he inched closer to me, "don't you know you are supposed to light it first and then give it to him?"

I nodded "no" softly as he stunned me with his eyes. He took a cigarette out of my box and held it up to me. I took it from him and put it up to my lips, with my fingers quivering slightly, trying to be careful not to fish-lip it. I had to spark my orange lighter twice before catching and lighting the cigarette. Then my fingers, still shaking slightly, held it back out for him. His fingertips gently caressed my knuckles as he took the cigarette from me and brought it up to his lips. He took a slow deep inhale, smirked at me, and then lightly, but purposefully, fanned the smoke out into my face. I stood there so dazed I forgot about my own cigarette.

Tantalizing.

"There see, that's so much sexier, isn't it?" His voice was raspy now, seductive. It was so much sexier when he did it. I stood there mesmerized by his little tutorial. Then his tone changed to more amusement. "Hey, I'm not smoking alone am I?"

I lit a cigarette for myself and took a puff, leaning myself back against the rough bark of the tree and looking up at the fireworks. He leaned up against it next to me, bending his right knee and bringing his right foot up to rest upon the solid brown of the tree. He sighed dramatically. "Fireworks are so romantic," he said letting his head tilt toward me then grinned at me full of idiocy.

At this exact moment, yes they are. But I think my heart was booming louder than the fireworks.

After a few moments of silence and finishing our cigarettes he announced, "I have to get back to the stand now. See you around justBella." He smiled at me in that delish, devilish way about him before he turned to walk away. "Oh, and if you want this back," he held up the lighter behind him without turning to look at me, "you'll have to come visit me. Bye justBella."

I was dazed. My mind was cluttered with innuendos and what-ifs. "You can keep it," I called after him softly, but he was already walking down the path toward the gate.

I had no idea what just went on and suddenly had no desire for any food. Instead I headed straight to the area where I knew Jessica would be working the Ring Around the Bottle game. I explained everything that happened to her in every detail I could remember and she screeched ecstatically.

"Well duh, he is completely flirting with you!" Jessica beamed and bobbed up and down.

"Is that what he's doing?" I asked. "He didn't ask me anything about where I was working. He didn't ask me how I've been. I mean, maybe he is just screwing with me because he thinks he can get away with it. . . You saw how that other girl was at the party, you know I'm not like that. I'm so much more reserved and plain. I barely got five words out to him tonight."

Jessica replied moving her hand up and down in front of me, "Bella, whatever it is you think about yourself, I just don't see it. I think you need to go for it with Justin."

"You've got mail!"

I was instantly pulled out of the memory. I scanned through my emails and replied back to one from my mother trying to be as honest as possible, stating I was cooking dinner for Charlie and had rounds with Dr. Cullen that night. She was worried when I didn't return to school this semester but she seemed to be satisfied with the fact that as long as I was interning with Carlisle I was still pursuing my interest in medicine. I also told her that Alice was getting married and I was going to be the maid of honor.

What I didn't write was: Mom, I wish you were here. I wish I could tell you everything-how I was attacked and changed forever. That my heart was frozen and then shattered into a million pieces. Remember how we used to watch 'The Facts of Life' reruns on TV and talk about issues together afterward? You thought I was tough like Jo, but I wasn't. Somehow we missed the episode where Jo became a vampire, so I really didn't learn about ALL the facts of life. Mom, I miss you.

I had documented that entire exchange between Justin and me, though I hoped I would never forget it. Closing the notebook and then turning to shut down the laptop, I grabbed my smaller notepad to write Charlie a note. I pulled off the top piece that documented the four-circle car guy's conversation and Justin's address, folded the piece of paper, and stuck it in my pocket. I left the notepad out in the kitchen for Charlie with my note on top.

Dad, I was here. I set up phone voicemail for you.

Be careful on patrol if you are out in the woods.

Call me if you need backup.

After all, I'm the strongest daughter you've got!

xoxo Bella

I grabbed my stuff on my way out the door and started making my way through the forest back to the Cullen house . . . back home.

A/N: I promise we're getting back to the heartbeat mystery. Very soon!