A/N: Thank you for all the reviews everyone! Also eremikashiptrash sorry for ruining your day! I wish you'd had a little more faith in me though…
"If you should go
I'll be a soldier
But I can't fight
Without you."
~Athlete, "Awkward Goodbye"
Chapter 4: Keys
Mikasa was drifting somewhere between sleep and consciousness, her mind wandering between memories that blurred into dreams and back again, until one swam to the surface with particular clarity.
She was five years old, walking through the forest with her parents as they stopped every so often to point out different plants and animals to her.
"Mikasa, you are an Ackerman," her father was telling her gently as he watched his smiling daughter skip along ahead of them on the path. "And Ackermans have a very special duty to this world."
Mikasa paused mid skip, turning around to look at her father with wondering eyes.
"What, Papa?"
Her mother placed a hand on her father's shoulder as he knelt down to meet Mikasa at eye level.
"To protect it."
"Protect it?"
"Yes," her mother joined in, kneeling down as well. "And you are also the last remaining descendant from a place called Asia, which means there's something you need to do. For me. For everyone."
"What is it, Mama?"
"Remember."
"Remember what?"
But now the scene was blurring in an out of focus like she were watching it from underwater, floating upwards away from it, and then finally her eyes were popping open, her mother's last word still echoing in her mind:
Remember.
She sat straight up in bed, repeating out loud: "Remember what?"
But as she sat, letting the room around her come into focus, the stone wall she was staring at offered her no answers, and slowly she could feel the vision slipping away from her like she was trying to hold water in her cupped hands. She rubbed at her temples as a headache began to take the vision's place, until she was no longer sure if what she'd seen was a real memory or merely something her brain had concocted while hovering between planes. Either way, it was apparent she wasn't going back to sleep now.
Mikasa sighed and got up to put on some clothes, figuring she'd just do some exploring around the castle to continue getting to know her way around. Sasha had shown her a little the day before but it was so big… she wanted to investigate some of the darker halls and rooms that Sasha had skimmed over. A quick peek out the window told her the sun had only just barely begun to peek over the horizon but as far as she could hear, no one else had begun to stir from sleep yet.
After she'd slipped on her clothes, making sure Eren's scarf was securely back around her neck, she slipped out the door. When Sasha had said "girl's dormitories," it turned out she'd really just meant the section of the castle where all the girls' rooms were located, because there were enough rooms for everyone to have their own, plus some. Mikasa wondered how that could possibly be right. Sure, the Survey Corps might not be the safest military branch to join but at the same time it seemed very respectable to her. Did so few people really feel such little drive to break free of their prison, reclaim what was once theirs? Eren spoke about it all so passionately all the time. How could there not be more people like him?
On quiet feet, Mikasa passed more and more empty rooms, turning down pathways that seemed less and less familiar, until she began to hear a distant clanging noise coming from somewhere even further in the castle's depths. She paused for a minute, trying to detect a more exact location through the echoes, then began to follow it, pulled along with every step by her curiosity.
The closer she got, the more she began to hear voices mixed in with the clanging. She doubted she would have heard any of it had she been exploring during the usual waking hours of the day when everyone else was awake and the castle was busy, but every noise felt amplified by the silence that surrounded it.
Finally Mikasa became certain she'd reached the source of the sounds. She turned a corner and found a back staircase tucked away leading down to a metal door, behind which the clanging seemed to have finally reached its loudest pitch. Carefully, she descended the steps approaching it, reaching out her hand to open the door as quietly as she could.
At first, the two people inside didn't notice her come in. They were working feverishly around a wooden table in the center the windowless room, illuminated only by light from the crackling fireplace against the wall behind them. Mikasa could see metal parts lying around amongst what must have been hundreds of sketches and blueprints, beginning to take shape into strange contraptions she couldn't recognize.
"Armin?" she spoke up finally, causing both people to visibly jump and spin to gawk at her.
"Mikasa!" Armin exclaimed, sounding very much like someone who'd been caught red-handed doing something they shouldn't be doing. Mikasa couldn't figure out what was so guilt-inducing about tinkering around with a bunch of mechanics in the early hours of the morning, though. Certainly, it seemed like an odd choice of time, but other than that…
"What's all this?" she asked cautiously, her eyes roaming across the contents of the table yet again.
"This? This is nothing! This is… Well… it's…"
Armin stuttered, but he could not seem to form any sentences.
"Are you the new girl?" the other person in the room finally spoke and Mikasa was briefly unnerved by a flashing that made her look like she had fire for eyes. However, a double-take revealed it to just be glasses resting on the bridge of the woman's nose.
"Um… yes?" Mikasa tried to regain her composure under the woman's unnerving gaze. It was almost manic, like she had been interrupted from complete and utter focus and still hadn't fully pulled her mind from her work yet. She regarded Mikasa for another split second before seeming to come to a conclusion.
"Go ahead and tell her, Armin."
"What… Really?"
"She's going to be part of the squad soon, she can know."
"How do you know I'm going to be part of the squad soon?"
The woman looked over her glasses at Mikasa, manic glint in her eyes sparkling dangerously.
"The Captain and I talk. He says your name is Ackerman, right?"
"Yes…"
She nodded approvingly at Mikasa's answer.
"You're definitely going to be part of the squad."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Never you mind that now," the woman stuck out her hand in offering. "Zoe Hange! Happy to be of service."
"Nice to meet you."
Mikasa was still itching to ask more but Hange seemed satisfied for now, turning back to Armin expectantly. "Go for it Arlert! Fill her in!"
"Well…" Armin looked back at the work table helplessly, at a loss for where to start. "Look, Mikasa, anything we tell you down here has to be kept secret at all costs, do you promise you won't repeat this information to anyone except the other Survey Corps members?"
"Of course."
"And even with each other we don't talk about it very often because it's of the utmost importance that this secret be kept. The fate of all humanity rests on it. Okay?"
Mikasa shrugged. "Even if I wanted to, I don't have anyone outside this castle to tell."
Armin puffed out a deep breath, some of the worry lines on his forehead smoothing a little.
"You're right. I'm sorry if I seem rude, it's just… a lot of work has gone into all of this for the past few years. It would be devastating to see it all blown now."
"I understand."
"Okay…" Armin took one of the papers from the table. "This is it."
Mikasa stared at the lines. She could tell it was some kind of machine but had no idea what all the spindling marks and numbers all over it meant.
"What am I looking at?"
Armin finally smiled a little. "We're re-designing our three-dimensional maneuvering gear. They told you how it works last night, right?"
Mikasa nodded.
"Well since it was invented, the gear has been gas-powered. Meaning we can only use it for fighting Titans, when the moment calls for it the most, and it kind of anchors us to the walls. We can't go too far outside of them without supplies. The only strategy before now was to try and send out expeditions loaded with extra supplies to lay out for future attempts... but that has never gotten us very far."
Mikasa nodded again, still following his words closely.
"But if we want to get back to Shiganshina and beyond, I mean really go outside the walls, depending so heavily on the forces behind the walls for gas just isn't going to cut it anymore. So, I got this idea, and Hange here agreed with me, that there might be some other renewable resource we could use for fuel. Something we could find outside of the walls too, to refuel whenever we need it."
Mikasa was hanging on his every word now. Armin moved them both closer to the table, directing her attention to more of the blueprints lying there.
"We started out by trying a few different things. Sun power didn't work."
"Grass power was a dud," Hange threw in with a giggle.
"Nuts, air, various kinds of leaves and naturally occurring oils, but nothing had the right chemistry to operate how we needed it to."
"And then Armin had a brainstorm!"
"I guess you could say that…" Armin said, blushing.
"You guess?" Hange exclaimed, turning to Mikasa. "This kid is a downright genius. Never let him downplay that for you."
Armin ignored her, but couldn't stop a small smile from turning up the corners of his lips. "It's… hydropower."
"Excuse me?"
"Hydropower! Water power! Water is everywhere, water has energy we can harness and use, water would be the perfect fuel for us!"
He was talking very fast now, his eyes alight with enthusiasm.
"It was hard to figure out how to condense the conversion mechanisms to the parameters required for the gear but once we discovered how to invert the catalytic…."
Mikasa had to admit, she had no idea what Armin was talking about as he rambled through the scientific and mechanical jargon required for making the 3-D gear run on water, but it was sweet to see him so engrossed in his work. She liked Armin. He was kind, but he was also honest and straightforward. Though the feeling worried her a little, as it had with Eren, she was already starting to instinctively feel like he was someone that could be trusted.
"...And once we figured out the correct equation to use, everything started falling into place! It should be ready to test soon," Armin was finishing his lecture, blinking as though he'd just remembered where he was. "Sorry, sometimes I forget not everyone cares about the technicalities of it all. The point is, Hange and I think we almost have it ready to use."
Hange nodded enthusiastically. Mikasa continued to stare in awe at the finished drawing Armin was holding.
"I think it's amazing," she said finally, her voice nearly at a whisper. Armin positively beamed at her.
"But why does it have to stay top secret? Wouldn't the King and the rest of the military want to know that you guys have created something so useful to the cause?"
Armin and Hange got very quiet at that question, exchanging a look.
"Well… there are a few reasons, actually," Armin suddenly looked very tired. "I guess the best way to explain it is to start from the Female Titan incident."
"The what?"
A dark look had passed over Hange's face and then she turned her back on the other two to face the fireplace. Armin sighed.
"About four years ago, after Eren and I had joined the Survey Corps and fought in our first battle, we were all on a mission to get back to Shiganshina. There were more of us then. The original Squad Levi was all still around, along with us newbies."
Hange's back remained firmly to them as Armin told the story, but Mikasa thought she saw her shoulders tense at this.
"The original Squad Levi?" she asked.
"Yeah. There were some amazing people in the Survey Corps before those of us from the 104th training regiment joined. But…" Armin's eyes slid sideways. "Hange, Levi, and Commander Erwin are the last of them. The mission had barely left Wall Rose before everything went wrong. We were attacked by an abnormal Titan with advanced intelligence and a female form, unlike anything I'd ever seen, even from… well…"
He suddenly looked worried, like he'd planned to say something else but thought better of it.
"...Anyway, she all but wiped out all the squad members that were on the mission with us. She tried to kidnap Eren, and it almost worked but Levi got him back. He almost died doing it though."
Mikasa's fist clenched involuntarily. "Why would she want to kidnap Eren?"
At that, Hange turned back around, glaring at Armin. Armin looked even more nervous than he had a moment earlier. "We… still don't know for sure. It's a mystery!"
Mikasa could tell he was holding something back, of course, but why? Just because Hange didn't want him to tell? Perhaps it was some kind of Survey-Corps only business, but they'd just let her in on the secret about the hydro-powered gear, so why was this secret any different? She could tell Armin was uncomfortable with the lie, so she decided not to press the matter for the time being, thinking perhaps they'd tell her once she was an official member of the squad.
"A-anyway, after that the Survey Corps had to come back empty-handed and admit that we'd gotten no where; the mission had failed. The King and the leaders of the other military branches, the Garrison Regiment and the Military Police, weren't happy with us. Public support for our branch had already been shaky, and the failure just sent it all pretty much crashing down. They disbanded the entire Survey Corps except this squad. They sent us into exile out here, barely giving us any funds and telling us we weren't allowed to conduct anymore investigations outside the wall, and that we were only to be called if the Titans attack again."
"Basically, we're all prisoners out here," Hange added, speaking for the first time since Armin began his story.
"The only reason we all didn't actually get locked up was because there are a few special cases in our squad. And we had the top titan-slayers," Armin said. "Well, you know, not me exactly, I'm mostly here for the book stuff, but everybody else was top of our class in training, or close to it."
"But… I don't understand…" Mikasa felt something twisting in her gut. "How could they just throw you all away? You have the most important job of anyone. How is humanity supposed to reclaim the world if we can't even go out in it anymore?"
Armin smiled sadly. "Two days with him and you already sound like him."
"What?"
"Just Eren. That's the kind of thing he always says, even after we got banished, after no one wanted to join the Corps anymore… The truth is... I think these days the fight has been taken out of most people. But Eren is all fight: always has been, always will be. He keeps all the rest of us here going, honestly."
"Jaeger's something else, that's for sure," Hange added absentmindedly, having turned her attention back to the gadgets on the worktable.
Mikasa smiled a bit to herself, that same strange warmth she'd felt watching Eren sleep the morning before starting to spread from her chest again.
"This all explains why that innkeeper gave his cape such a funny look too."
"What? Eren was wearing his cape around when he went to get you?" there was a note of panic in Armin's voice now. Mikasa nodded slowly.
"Ohhh…" Armin moaned. "Goddamn it Eren. You guys are lucky you didn't get arrested by the Military Police, honestly." He shook his head, heaving a huge sigh. "It's such an Eren thing to do though, can't say I'm surprised. His daredevil ways are going to get him killed someday though, if the Titans don't get us all first."
Mikasa felt a shiver run down her spine at those words.
"If… if you're all banished, who's protecting everyone from the Titans?"
Hange snorted loudly from the worktable, not looking up from her tinkering. "Most people would say they don't need protecting anymore."
"What? Why?"
"The Titans have gone quiet again. They haven't tried to invade the walls again since the Battle for Trost four years ago, when humanity fought them back," Armin clarified. "Some people think we scared them off for good."
This finally did make Hanji look up from her work, her glasses flashing again. "Foolish thoughts. It's not unheard of behavior from the Titans, considering we went nearly a hundred years without a single attack after the walls were built. But still, I want to know why. It seemed like they were building up to something back then, two attacks in five years after so long in silence, but then it all just stopped again. Something about it just still doesn't feel… right…"
"I still think it had to do with the female Titan," Armin's face contorted as he held his temples. "I still feel like there was something I missed there..."
"You couldn't change anything about that, though, right?" Mikasa offered.
"No… but we could have figured out who it was. Recent evidence has led us to believe that certain of the more intelligent Titan types are actually humans that can take a Titan form. We think that Titan was a spy of some kind, but we never figured out who it could be. If we could have… Well, maybe everything would have been different."
Mikasa didn't even know what to say anymore. She felt like her head was spinning with the rush of new information, the last bit of which might have just put her over the edge: people could become Titans?
"But that pretty much brings you up to speed on everything," Armin interjected, pulling Mikasa out of the whirlwind of thoughts threatening to overwhelm her. "So technically we're not supposed to be planning this expedition, but we are anyway. And we're not supposed to have developed this advanced technology aid us in that expedition, but we have anyway. Because even though the rest of the world might no longer believe it, we know the Titans are still out there, and we still need to fight. So this all has to stay top secret."
"I won't breathe a word," Mikasa promised, looking Armin straight in the eyes. A smile finally broke his face again.
"Thanks. Glad to have you aboard! Now we should probably get back to work, and you should get ready too. Don't you have training with Eren soon?"
Mikasa hadn't been the only person wandering the hallways of the Survey Corps at the crack of dawn that morning, however.
On silent feet, Annie Leonhardt slipped out of her room just as the first rays of the sun were starting to peer over the horizon. She met no resistance on her way out, thankfully, and soon she was running across the training grounds and into the forest beyond. She took a twisting, turning route that didn't seem to follow any clear-cut path, and yet she knew exactly where she was going. Her sure-footed steps took her right to a clearing where two tall figures were already waiting for her.
"Good morning," Reiner said, greeting her with his usual reserved air.
"Did you two make it out here okay? No one saw?" Annie asked, leaning back against a tree to survey them cooly, arms crossed in front of her.
"Not a soul," Reiner confirmed. "We're in the clear. Report?"
Annie sighed, rolling her eyes at the sky. "It's a lost cause, at this point."
"What?!"
"Don't act so surprised. I've been telling you for months that he's not going to fall in love with me. And what do you know? He runs off and comes back with some scrawny girl from god-knows where and he's already half in love with her. It's over."
Reiner and Bertholdt both just continued to stare at her, at a loss for words, so Annie kept talking.
"Now can we please stop making me do this? It's gross."
"Hey don't act like that! You said you were okay with everything when we first came up the plan."
"That was before I knew it was going to take this long."
"Okay fine, so we give it up. What do you suggest we do next. Kill the new girl?"
"No, idiot," Annie scowled at Reiner, completely unperturbed by the fact that he was twice her size and twice her weight in muscle. "All that would do would send him into a spiral of pining after her. Don't you know anything?"
"Okay…" Bertholdt interjected, speaking for the first time since Annie had arrived. "No need to get mean. We're all on the same side here, remember?"
Annie and Reiner regarded each other grudgingly for half a second more, but then inclined their heads, indicating a truce.
"I say we just go to Plan B," Annie murmured quietly. Both Reiner and Bertholdt's eyes widened.
"If we go to Plan B, there's no going back."
"True. But do you have any other ideas at this point? We're running out of time. They've almost finished with the hydro powered gear and they'll be knocking down the door of the Jaeger's basement in Shiganshina before we know it."
They all stood around in silence for a solid few minutes after that, letting Annie's words sink in. She was right, and they all knew it.
"Okay, so we go to Plan B," Reiner said, finally. "We just need to watch and wait for the opportune moment."
Mikasa kind of had to admit, she liked wearing the 3-D gear straps. They made her feel like she was prepared for anything. She stared at herself in the mirror for a little bit before walking down to meet Eren on the training field, evaluating her appearance.
The clothes she had been provided with were plain and simple, but comfortable and easy to move in. After a couple days worth of solid meals, her cheeks had already started to look less hollow, her skin less ashen. However her hair still hung sadly in dead split ends down to her waist, having not been cut in ten years. That wouldn't do out in training, she knew; it could get caught in something or fly in her face while she fought. She pulled it back in a low ponytail and appraised herself one more time.
Something still seemed off, but it was good enough for now. She was probably just still getting used to being back in her own skin.
Mikasa tried not to hurry too quickly down to the training area, not wanting to seem too childish in her excitement. She forced a cool expression and what she hoped was a dignified demeanor as she crossed the field, quietly approaching Eren's tall form. He was wearing a full set of 3-D gear and carrying another, his back was to the castle as he surveyed the forest beyond, his eyes clouded over.
"Eren?" Mikasa said quietly, hesitant to break him from whatever thoughts were plaguing him. But when he heard her voice, he blinked out of his reverie quickly and greeted her with a dazzling grin.
"Hey Mikasa! Sorry I didn't hear you walk up!"
"Is… everything okay?" she asked haltingly, not wanting to pry where she wasn't wanted, yet unable to shake her concern.
"Yeah! Everything's fine! Why?"
"You just looked… upset or something just now."
Eren let out a good-natured sigh. "I'm always worried about something or other. Nothing for you to worry about, trust me."
Mikasa gazed scrutinizingly at him for a moment longer. Clearly he wasn't actually as fine as he said, but he seemed dead-set on not talking about it.
"Come on! Let's get you started. Don't you want to learn how to kill a Titan?"
The mood lifted considerably as the two walked further into the forest together, Eren explaining key details of Titan anatomy, or what they knew of it so far anyway.
"... so the nape of the neck is always the place to aim for. We know so much more about defeating them than we used to, thanks to people like Hange who worked so hard at studying them. Hopefully you'll meet her soon. Hange still works with the Survey Corps. Although she hasn't had a real Titan to study in awhile."
"I met Hange."
Eren looked at Mikasa, puzzled.
"This morning. I sort of… found her and Armin's secret laboratory."
"Oh!" Eren smiled again. "Great! So you know the future plan?"
"Yeah. That design he came up with is really amazing."
"What would we do without Armin?" Eren gazed off into the distance fondly at the thought of his friend. "I can't wait to get out there. To get back to what we're all supposed to be doing."
"So you don't think the Titans are really gone either?"
That same clouded look came back over him that he'd had before, and suddenly Mikasa wished she hadn't brought them up at all.
"I know they're not. Everyone else might be letting their guards down, but they're wrong. It's our job as the protectors of the people to continue keeping our vigilance, even if they've all given up."
Eren's words jogged Mikasa's memory and suddenly her father's voice was floating through her mind again, echoing back from her dream last night: "Protect it."
"Eren, when we were talking to Captain Levi yesterday, you remembered my surname."
"Yeah, I guess it's just one of those details that stuck in my memory. Why?"
"Do you know anything about my family name? Like if anyone else has it?"
Eren shrugged a little. "I'd never heard it before the day my Dad said we were going to visit you. "Why do you ask?"
Mikasa shook her head. "It's probably nothing. I just never learned a lot about my past before my parents died, that's all."
"Maybe you can look for some answers in Shiganshina too. You never know what we might find once we get back there."
Eren came to a halt now in front of a big tree with a red mark on it. "Here's where the training course starts. We've got some fake Titan targets set up along this path, and it's also a prime spot for learning how to move with the 3-D gear. Tree branches are good for us because they provide a lot of anchorage opportunities. We're just going to start you out with that first."
"Moving with the gear?"
Eren nodded. "Balancing on it, like you did yesterday, is the first step. The next is to use it to propel yourself through the air with it. The height helps you get right up close and personal with the Titans, with maximum advantage on their weak spots. Here."
He held out the extra set of gear for Mikasa to take. "This is yours now. Well, until we all get the new stuff anyway."
"Thank you," Mikasa accepted it and began to attach it carefully, feeling the weight of the scabbards against her thighs and the vertical maneuvering device around the back of her waist.
"Okay," Eren began to explain, motioning to each part as he referenced it, "These are the operating devices up here. When you pull them, they'll release the steel wire from the device around your back. The chords shoot out with a powerful force and attach to whatever solid object is nearby. Buildings and trees are usually the best targets. Then you have to shift your weight to either of your hips using the straps around your feet. That's where the balancing lesson from yesterday comes into play."
Mikasa stared at the equipment she was wearing and then at the trees in front of her.
"There's… really no better way to do it than to just jump in and give it a shot. You'll probably mess up but the key is to trust in yourself and your balancing instincts and to not let the fear get to you."
"So just… Like this?" Mikasa reached for the operating device."
"Yeah, just be prepared to-"
But whatever Eren was about to say she should be prepared for, she didn't hear. The wire was shooting from the cylinder around her waist and latching onto a tree branch ahead, pulling her with it. She felt panic quickly start to set in as the world flew by around her and her heart leapt to her throat. Suddenly it was hard to think straight. Aim for… where? Balance… what? She felt like the equipment was dragging her along more than she was controlling it. And then to make the panic increase, she realized she was headed straight for a head-on collision with a tree.
Clumsily, Mikasa grappled with the other operational device and pulled as quickly as she could, closing her eyes and praying it would work, and to her relief and renewed horror she found herself being pulled even faster in the opposite direction. She'd avoided the tree but she felt like a runaway carriage, completely out of control. She didn't know how to slow down or regain control so she did the only thing she could think of: let herself fall.
It turned out she wasn't that far off the ground, but the height was still enough to knock the wind out of her as she hit. She lay there for a minute, flat on her back, staring up at the forest foliage above as stars danced around it, dazedly trying to regain her breath until she heard footsteps running up to where she lay.
"Mikasa!" there was an alarmed note in Eren's voice. "Mikasa! Are you okay?"
And then his arms were around her, supporting her as she struggled to sit up. She was still breathing hard, but she finally managed to speak.
"I'm… okay."
"Are you sure? Does anything feel broken?"
Mikasa adjusted herself to test the movement of her arms, legs, fingers and toes. Everything seemed to be in working order. Eren adjusted himself too, keeping one arm around her shoulder but keeping his eyes on her movements closely, looking for any signs of trauma. When she looked back up, she found her eyes inches away from his again, and she was lost in stormy blue and green. Her heart jolted uncomfortably, especially considering its beat had only just begun to return to normal. She took a deep breath and forced herself to speak normally.
"I think everything is still intact. I'm just a little winded, that's all."
"I am so sorry. I should have warned you more about the force…"
"There's no way you could have described it, honestly. You were right, the only way to learn is to just go."
The embarrassment was starting to set in now. Eren had warned her against letting her fear take over, and what had she done? Surrendered to it completely. Years of fighting to keep hope, fighting to not let fear overcome her, and what finally lets it in? A bunch of wires and trees. She stood quickly, ashamed, feeling the fire in her face as she stalked off through the trees.
"I want to try again."
Eren hurried to keep up with her, taken aback by her abrupt aggression. "Are you sure? You can take a breather for a little bit if you need…"
"No. I want to try again right now."
She spun back around at the same spot where she'd begun before, getting ready to pull the operator again.
"Okay…" Eren sounded like he wanted to protest further, but Mikasa had no more time for hesitation. She let the wires fly and followed them, feeling the pull again as she was flung towards the trees.
This time, she was ready for the sensation as she felt it. She could feel her body's urge to panic just as it had before, pitched into a completely unnatural situation, but she fought it now, forcing her breathing to remain even as she focused in on the task at hand. Just as Eren had instructed before, she shifted her weight to her hips, feeling the straps around her feet and legs respond accordingly, and with that it was as though the world had righted itself. Mikasa was back in control again, directing the gear with her body as she flew through the air, feeling like she was flying. When she needed to change directions, she pulled on the release again and more wire flew out, her aim on point as it anchored to another tree.
Triumph bubbled up inside her and she raised her face to the sun as she arched upwards on one of her turns. Why had she been so scared the first time? This felt absolutely amazing. She felt invincible.
Mikasa felt like she could have stayed in the air for hours, but eventually she knew she should land. It went much more smoothly this time, with her lowering herself to the ground for a gentle touchdown, the world coming to a halt around her. She stood there for a second taking it in, and to her great surprise she let out an involuntary giggle. She'd done it.
"Holy shit!" there was a shout from behind her, and she turned to see Eren swinging through the trees too on his own gear. "That was amazing!"
He landed next to her, beaming. "It was like you were a completely different person! That was almost perfect the second time, improvement is an understatement!"
His voice faltered for a second mid-praise as he caught sight of her face.
"What is it?" Mikasa asked, suddenly concerned.
"Nothing… I just realized… That was just the first time I've seen you smile. Like really smile, you know?"
Mikasa blinked at him, unsure of what to say.
"N-not to sound weird or anything," Eren was quick to amend, his words suddenly stumbling out of his mouth in a rush. "It's just a good thing, you know? I hope you get to smile more."
At that, the corners of her mouth did lift again. "Thanks… I think."
They both laughed nervously and Eren cleared his throat. "So… want to give the gear another try?"
"Yes!"
For the rest of the afternoon, Mikasa continued to practice with the gear, getting better and better with every try. By the end of the day she was performing flips and advanced maneuvers she only could have previously dreamed of, leaving Eren dumbfounded.
"You are amazing," he said as she landed for the final time that day. "Absolutely amazing."
Mikasa felt pride swelling up within her, her confidence having had a complete turnaround since her failure earlier. She could do this. And the more she practiced, the more she felt like it was not only something she could do, it was something she was meant to do.
Protect the world, that's what her father had said in her dream. What better way to protect it than aligning herself with humanity's finest Titan-slayers?
They spent one more day working on simply working and flying with the gear. Then the following day was comprised of applying Mikasa's maneuvering lessons from the days before with wooden "Titans" hidden amongst the trees as target practice. She took to using the blades even more quickly than she'd learned everything else. In no time she was striking true with every swing, slicing each dummy directly in the nape of the neck. She liked the swords, she had to admit. They were like powerful extensions of herself, deadly and ready to strike anyone down who might ever try to get in her way.
Mikasa also couldn't lie that she was enjoying spending so much extra time with Eren. She was still trying to understand the group dynamic with the rest of the squad when they were all together. She enjoyed Armin of course, and Sasha and Connie were nice enough too, but everyone else had proved to be hard to read. She's learned everyone else's names by now and she'd observed that Ymir and Christa mostly kept to themselves; like they were in their own little world all the time. Because of this, they'd hardly acknowledged Mikasa at all, but at least they also hadn't been outrightly unpleasant to her.
She couldn't say the same for Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie. All three of them seemed to regard her with distrust no matter what she did, but perhaps they would have been that way with any outsiders; after all, the squad had been together since training, and they hadn't had any new additions in four years. They must have all developed a strong bond, of course, though these three were the only ones who seemed bothered by it. Regardless, Mikasa had taken to trying to avoid the three of them for the most part.
Then there was Jean, who never ceased to send her reeling in confusion. He'd never been anything but nice to her, and yet Mikasa had never been able to shake the uncomfortable feeling he'd given her since day one. She felt guilty for feeling such things over someone who so clearly didn't deserve it, and yet she also wondered if her instincts were more alert to something her higher consciousness was not. Either way, she avoided Jean for the most part as well, mostly because it was just easier that way.
But Eren...
Just being near Eren made Mikasa feel calmer, more content. His good-natured attitude was contagious, as was his drive. It was hard to be around Eren and to listen to him for extended periods of time without coming away feeling like anything was possible, that it didn't matter that most of the Survey Corps had been disbanded, that it didn't matter how dire humanity's situation might look, they could actually defeat all the Titans someday. And even though deep down, Mikasa could already tell that hope might be foolish, it still felt good to know it was there.
The weather had also remained mild so she'd worn his scarf every day since he'd given it to her. She didn't want to take it off, honestly. She found she'd grown a bit attached.
The more time she spent with him the harder it was getting to say goodnight and go their separate ways to their rooms once they got back to the castle from training every night. After day four of training was over, they lingered at the end of the hallway Mikasa was supposed to go down for the girls' dormitories.
"Um... Well... Great job today, in case I didn't say it enough," Eren was saying. Mikasa smiled shyly.
"Thanks. You're a great teacher."
Eren's eyes widened. "Well thanks, but seriously I have very little to do with it. I don't know if you get how unbelievably natural you are at this. You're already doing advanced stuff that most of us didn't even attempt in training until second year, and it's only your fourth day. You're amazing."
Mikasa didn't know what to say to this. She could feel a blush creeping up her cheeks.
"I don't know why. I've never tried any of this before."
"The why doesn't really matter if you ask me, I'm just glad you're here now."
"Me too."
They fell silent, looking at each other, but neither made a move to leave. Mikasa racked her brain for anything else to say to keep them there for a little bit longer, but nothing came, so eventually she conceded.
"Well... I'll see you tomorrow, I guess?"
Eren flashed another grin. "Bright and early on the training field! It's hand-to-hand combat tomorrow. My specialty."
A flash of mischief seeped into his smile. Mikasa narrowed her eyes at him mockingly.
Eren laughed at her expression. "Don't worry! By the end of the day you'll probably be kicking my ass anyway, at the rate you're going."
"If you say so! Goodnight, Eren."
"Goodnight, Mikasa."
It cost her a great deal of resolve to turn away but she finally did so, heading down the hallway to her room. When she reached the door and pulled it open, she glanced back one last time to see Eren still standing down at the end of the hallway. She gave him another small smile and a wave before disappearing inside.
Eren walked back to his room with his head spinning, hardly even paying attention to where he was going as his feet took him down the hallways of their own accord. His heart was racing and his face felt hot but he was trying desperately to quell it all. He should not be feeling any of this, and he knew it.
She was off-limits... He'd made that decision already... Off. Limits.
But still, he couldn't get her out of his head. It was jarring how much of an effect she'd had on him after only a few days in each other's company, especially considering he'd never felt like this about anyone before. He kept thinking about the way she'd flown through the air in the maneuvering gear like she'd just left all her cares on the ground behind her, the way she'd wielded those swords like she was a one-woman army ready to take out anyone who'd ever done her wrong, the way her whole face lit up when she smiled...
Get ahold of yourself Jaeger, he thought fiercely.
He still had no right to be thinking all these things of course, he knew. After the things he'd seen at that dump he'd pulled her out of... Well... He should consider it a miracle she'd ever even wanted to talk to another man ever again.
And of course, there was the matter of the secret he was still keeping, causing his stomach to twist uncomfortably every time he thought about it. Levi had instructed not to tell her yet, but Eren knew she'd inevitably find out, and when she did...
Who knew what would happen then.
Learning hand-to-hand combat was proving to be her toughest challenge of all, though not for the reasons Mikasa had been expecting.
"Okay your stance is off a little bit. Here."
For the third time so far that day Mikasa found herself fighting to remain composed as Eren helped her adjust her fighting stance. Whenever he touched her she found herself having to fight to stay focused, because for some strange reason every touch from him felt like it sent a shockwave through her. Not in a bad way though; it was nothing like with the clients she'd dreaded so much. But it was extremely distracting, she had to admit, and she could only hope he hadn't noticed anything strange.
He was currently standing behind her, arms at her waist as he helped her get set. For a split second his breath tickled her neck before he'd backed away again quickly.
"Now try the strike I just taught you."
Mikasa obeyed, trying to shake her head clear again with every swing of her arms.
"Good!" Eren stepped in front of her. "Now try it on me."
"What?"
"You know, take a swing! Don't hold back, I can take it."
Mikasa tried the move he'd just taught her but was pushed back as he blocked it expertly.
"Perfectly executed. I'll teach you to block like I just did next."
The next couple hours continued in such a fashion, with Mikasa managing to finally pull herself together and actually pick up quite a few moves pretty quickly. She liked sparring and trying to guess which move Eren was going to try next so she could be ready to block him. It was a bit like a game. Soon Eren was moving on to teaching her more advanced moves.
"Okay flipping. Flipping is important. You have to work with your opponent's strength in comparison with yours and adjust your stance and technique accordingly. If your opponent is bigger than you, then move with their weight and try to keep moving rather than shouldering it all. But if your opponent is about the same or smaller than you… here, do you mind if I show you? I won't actually hurt you, I promise."
Mikasa nodded, though when he took her arm she still found herself unprepared for the jolt she felt when her skin made contact with his.
"So you're basically going to take the person like this and shift their weight across your own body like this while you focus in on your center of gravity so you don't strain yourself."
All Mikasa saw was sky for a second as Eren flung her over his shoulder, but before she could make the hard landing expected at the end of a flip he pulled back a little and reached out his other hand to help make sure she fell gently. She was a little taken aback but unhurt as she landed flat on her back, blinking up at his smiling face hovering over her.
"Get it?"
He helped pull her to her feet to stand again.
"Got it, I think."
"Okay! Then your turn to try it on me."
It took the rest of the day and into the next but eventually Mikasa got her moment of triumph. When Eren landed with a hard thud against the dirt below she leaned over him with a wide smile on her face to admire her handiwork. At first he looked dazed, but a second later his face was splitting into a huge grin.
"The student has surpassed the master."
"No I haven't!"
"I just wanted to say that. At the very least, I think you've learned enough hand-to-hand to impress Erwin tomorrow." Eren jumped back to his feet, a spring in his step. "So what do you say we just hang out for the rest of the day?"
"Hang out?"
"Yeah! You deserve a breather, you've been working so hard. Come on, I'll show you my favorite spot in the forest."
"Okay."
To Mikasa's slight surprise, Eren reached out and took her hand to lead her. The gesture seemed involuntary for him, a natural thing to do, but Mikasa found herself unable to keep the flush out of her cheeks this time. She was relieved he was facing ahead and not looking at her for most of the walk.
He led her to a tiny brook just off the trail a little ways into the woods behind the training area. It was shallow, a relatively small amount of water, but it was enough to create a pleasant babbling noise as it fell over a flat rock formation to produce a small waterfall. Now it was Mikasa's turn to break into a smile.
"It's beautiful!"
Eren looked rather pleased. "I found it all by myself. You get bored around here when there's nothing to do except study things and plan. That stuff has always been more of Armin's forte anyway, not mine."
He sat down on the ground and began sliding off his boots.
"You prefer being out in the field?"
"I mean, fighting Titans is always intense, but not fighting them head-on just makes me feel like I'm not actually doing anything."
"But you're all working towards taking back Shiganshina, isn't that something?"
"Yeah of course. It's just… It's been four years, you know? I knew- we all knew- that it was going to take time to develop a way under the government's nose but that doesn't make waiting any more fun."
Mikasa nodded. Eren was one of those people who always seemed to have energy bubbling just under the surface. He was like an ongoing current of lightning, waking up everything and everyone he came into contact with, hard to contain and impossible to silence.
"Come on," Eren motioned for Mikasa to join him in his boot removal. "We're going on a creek walk!"
The cool water felt good on Mikasa's feet, especially because her muscles all over were already starting to ache from the strain of the workouts she wasn't used to. It was a good ache though; the kind of ache that let her know she was getting stronger.
She and Eren spent the rest of the afternoon walking down the creek with their bare feet in the water, talking happily and laughing and catching each other when they accidentally slipped on rocks.
"My parents used to do stuff like this with me when I was a kid," Mikasa told him eventually during a moment of silence.
"Yeah?"
"They liked to show me different plants and animals in the forest. My mother kept a garden too."
"It sounds like they had a lot of respect the world, especially if it was important enough to them to pass the knowledge onto you."
Mikasa felt her chest constrict at Eren's words. She cast around for something to distract herself. "See? This growing here is chamomile, and that tree over there is a Silver Birch…"
They came to a halt now, Eren watching and listening to Mikasa's impromptu lecture intently. When she grew silent, he whistled softly.
"You've kept their memories alive and well."
Mikasa turned to look back at him her eyes welling with emotion, wanting so badly to tell him about her dream from a few nights ago, ask someone if they had any idea what it might mean. But instead, what came out of her mouth was, "Why is it so important to get back to Shiganshina?"
Eren blinked, so Mikasa continued. "I mean I get why it's important to people like you and Armin and me, but why is the whole squad in on this?"
He gazed at her for a moment of silence, his eyes searching her face intensely. Then he abruptly took a few steps towards her, splashing in the water of the stream, and reached below the collar of his shirt.
For a wild moment of confusion Mikasa thought he was going to yank his whole shirt off, but instead he pulled from beneath it a gold key held around his neck by a black cord and brought it up to her eye level.
"This is the only thing I have left from my father. I haven't seen him in many years and I have no idea where he is, but one of the last things I remember is him giving me this key and telling me that no matter what, I have to get back to the basement of my old house someday. That the answers to this whole Titan mess are there."
Mikasa stared at the little key with wide eyes as it glittered innocently in the sunlight.
"Oh..."
Eren smiled, but this one didn't reach his eyes all the way.
"Yeah. So that's what you're in for. Still in?"
"Of course."
"Good. Because tomorrow Erwin's going to make you an official member of the Survey Corps. Just wait."
A/N: I just can't believe how many people are responding so positively to this story! It's more than I could have hoped for. Please keep the feedback and reviews coming because they keep me going, for real. x)