A/N: I had some help in getting reactions and input on this chapter! Thanks to mah girls!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, etc.
Chapter 12:
Mad About You
I got to the hospital early that night. As I walked in my heart sank; as heavy as it was, it was like a boulder falling through my body.
He wasn't here.
I waited for Carlisle in his office, not sure how well received I would be after our earlier conversation. I realized I needed to clean up this horrendously confusing clusterfuck and set things straight. When he arrived I began my apology. Immediately.
"Carlisle, please know I have a tremendous amount of respect for you and appreciation for all you have done for me, so I am sorry if I acted rudely this morning."
"Bella, there is still so much we don't know. You must be extra careful—we must all be careful, though."
"Yes, Carlisle, I've heard it all before. Newborn. Use caution. I think I've got it."
"It's nothing to take lightly, Bella. And should Mr. Masen end up back in the hospital prior to his departure from the area, then I think it would be best if you stay away from him. Now, it's time for rounds. Ready?"
In my head I hadn't exactly agreed with Carlisle's statement, especially if Ed Masen were to wind up in the hospital as a patient. Why would I decline caring for him if he needed something?
Well the mystery was sort of solved. He wasn't Justin, so I guess I could stay away. The troll was right, though, somehow I had already developed a crush on four-circle car guy. Still, I figured I could just shake it off. We didn't seem to part under the best circumstances anyway. Then I thought of kissing his lips -well from his perspective we didn't part under the best circumstances. As long as he didn't return to the hospital, I probably, technically, wouldn't have to see him ever again.
After rounds, I settled back into the office to do some research for Carlisle. It seems he found several things for me to look up for him tonight. I realized I still had not gotten a chance to look over Ed Masen's chart and decided I should track it down to find out what had been his prognosis. I casually finger brushed my hair, and my mind wandered to yesterday when I had seen him run his fingers through his hair just as he was yelling out at me. The blue of his eyes lit up like a blow torch flame with swirls of green, orange, and gray. That immediate reaction was so …hot.
The phone rang, and I jumped as if Carlisle had caught me daydreaming.
"Dr. Cullen's office, how may I help you?" I answered in my most formidable secretary/med student/vampire research assistant voice.
"Oh yes, hi. I was a patient of Dr. Cullen's recently and he told me to call if I had any questions."
The fallen boulder was inflating and rising lightly back up into my chest as I immediately recognized his voice.
"Mr. Masen?" I blurted out.
"Yes, and this is….?" He seemed to trail off hopefully.
"Isa-, I mean, Bel-, I mean, Ms. Swan, I work with Dr. Cullen. I met you in the hospital last night. I brought you cookies." Holy cow I think I'm nervous. I face palmed myself over my awkwardness. I brought you cookies?
"Oh, good." I could almost hear a smile in his voice. I tried to compose my professional self after having stammered through my own name.
"Dr. Cullen is doing rounds right now, but I can page him if it is urgent."
"No!" he interrupted me adamantly then softened. "I mean, no, that's not really necessary. I was thinking of doing something that might be, well, in a word, risky, and so I thought I should check on the ramifications first… regarding my heart."
"Oh no, Mr. Masen. More roller coasters?"
He was amused. I could tell. "Not quite that bad this time, actually. I just wanted to make use of the ice rink down at Ski 'N Skies."
I was jotting this down as he spoke. "Okay, so I'll ask Carlisle, I mean Dr. Cullen, if he thinks it is okay for you to…"
He interrupted me again, "If he thinks he could spare his med student for a couple hours tomorrow to join me for ice skating—just in case my heart has another episode."
I had stopped writing and was gripping the pencil so hard that I crushed it. A million thoughts were running through my head as shards of wood, yellow paint, and graphite dusted through the air around me. Did he just ask me out? Did he seriously just invite me to the park? If I could have made a list of things I actually could do on a date with a human, wouldn't ice skating have been somewhere in the top ten? I looked over at the clock just to verify what I already knew—it was midnight already. Why was he calling so late? Did he expect me to answer?
"Well surely Ms. Swan, you don't research all night and all day?"
"Did you call this late expecting to reach me?" I asked too quickly, remembering how I had told him that I only do first rounds.
"Umm," he paused, "Dr. Cullen said I could call anytime, day or night. And the thought of me ice skating and suddenly possibly needing CPR or other medical attention was keeping me up as if the sun was glaring through my hotel window." His words were steady, but his tone was light. His voice was enticing.
"Are you making jokes about your health again, Mr. Masen?"
His tone changed. "No, I'm being dead serious when I say I think I'd feel safer in your company."
Safer? If he only knew!
"And Ms. Swan, if I were to need CPR, I can't think of anyone else in this town whose lips I'd rather have on my mouth than yours."
Oh. My. God. That's it! Now he's flirting with me.
Carlisle's words resonated in my head. …it would be best if you stay away from him. Defying Carlisle was probably not the best idea.
Why couldn't I still be human? Goddamn you Jacob Black! Time to rationalize…he would be returning to Chicago soon, and then I'll never see him again.
There is no way I should go.
I'm not going.
I can't go.
I bit my lip in nervous contemplation. "What time should I meet you there?" I whispered into the phone.
"I have a meeting there that should end around two o'clock. Is that too early for you to be awake and recovered from working the night shift?" he asked.
I couldn't help laughing out loud.
"There's that musical laugh again. Apparently I'm funny when I'm not trying to be with you and yet you chastise me when I am trying," he responded. He was kind of right.
"I'm sorry. I just don't need a lot of sleep, and it is kind of a recent joke."
"Insomnia?" he theorized.
"Not exactly. It's complicated."
"Ahh, and there's that word again. Can I assume you know your way to the SSA rink?" he asked.
I giggled again, "I could find my way there in my sleep!" If I slept.
"Well then rest up, Doc, and I'll see you on the ice tomorrow."
"I guess I'll bring my black bag."
"Goodnight, Doc."
"Goodnight." I clicked the phone off and involuntarily sighed deeply and dreamily. I was thankful my body could still react this way. I was more thankful that I had a reason for my body to react this way.
I hung up the phone, hoping Carlisle's ear acuity was being monopolized over the past few minutes, and he hadn't picked up on any part of that conversation.
Holy shit did I just agree to meet a guy that I'm dreamweaving over without a newborn vampsitter present?
I decided to text Alice.
Busy?
A little. What's up?
'Member all that stuff about not being able to have a normal date?
Yes
How's ice skating sound?
Perfect! So U going to ask him?
No.
No?
He already asked me.
I knew it! Dreamweaving?
Yes! But what should I do about Carlisle?
There was no response. I knew her vampiric troll fingers could text almost as fast as she drove even while driving. She was thinking, hesitant, or having a vision.
Help Alice?
We'll talk in the am. Gotta run.
Oh it was just like her to leave me hanging! I was distracted during the rest of my shift and tried to avoid Carlisle as much as I could for fear he was going to see right through me or had heard me on the phone even. I was so thankful at that moment he didn't have the ability to read minds.
-xXx-
When I reached the house in the morning, Alice was sitting there waiting for me on the porch steps.
"Hey Daph, up for a hunt?"
"Yeah, definitely!"
"Thirsty are we?"
"No. I'm just nervous. And I need to kill some time." If I was going to go through with meeting up with him without a newbie-vamp chaperone, then I needed to not let him or anyone else tempt me.
Alice and I took off for the woods and I tried to burn off some of the nervous energy by taking some extra risks, jumping from tree to tree and challenging myself how far I could bound in a single leap. I stopped to give Alice time to hunt and feed off a small herd of deer we came across, forcing myself to down two in hopes it would soothe a strange ache I had.
"Better?" Alice asked to which I shook my head no. "Bella, what are you worried about? Liking him or killing him?"
"Everything," I said, rolling my eyes. "Not the killing him part, though. It's hard to explain but I felt attracted to him more than his, you know, blood. Dreamweaving is not the same as bloodlust. There's a definite difference."
"Well that's good to hear, but in the heat of the moment there is a real possibility that your senses might jumble both together, twist and feed off each other, and that desire to give in to the taste of his blood might overpower you."
I scoffed. "The heat of the moment? I doubt it will get that far Alice. It's just uh…"
"A date!" Alice beamed.
"More like . . .a chance for answers?" I admitted, afraid of what she was going to think of me.
"Answers? To what? You're not still thinking about Justin are you?"
I picked up a rock and skipped it across the lake where the deer had been drinking from when we happened upon them. I loved to hear the vibrations the stone caused in the water—a new sound to me since becoming a vampire. The joys of nature were often overlooked by humans, but vampires couldn't disregard what nature offered beyond what we relied on for survival.
"I was thinking just how weird it is that of all places to meet him it would be the one place linked to Justin …Maybe he…"
"Stop!" Alice commanded me. "Just don't. Don't think anymore. At all. A hunky guy you are dreamweaving over asked you out. Go! Have some polite conversation, try not to have any Paul and Jamie misunderstandings, and enjoy his company."
I conceded to her with a nod that I would try to let the rest go. "Come on, I picked you up some new stuff to wear on your date that I want to show you," she said with a twinkle to her now more vibrantly golden eyes.
"Paul and Jamie were fated to be with each other you know. Jamie and Paul don't remember it, but they met on a field trip to the museum as kids. Jamie dropped her purse and Paul picked it up for her outside the museum. That was the genius of Mad About You. Despite all the craziness, it was utterly romantic and funny. I miss that show sometimes, Bella."
"I know you do, Alice."
Alice had bought me a beautifully-colored striped hat with matching scarf and gloves. The gloves had an extra lining of fur inside to keep the cold at bay she said, "just in case he takes your hand." The thought of romance was like sunshine for her eyes—it made them sparkle. The colors were pretty against my heather gray pea coat.
"One more thing," Alice said. I looked to see her holding up a pair of bright white figure skates. "They look new, but they aren't. They are actually Esme's, so they're broken in." I thanked Alice for being such a wonderful friend to me and reminded her that in times like these I was happy to call her my sister.
-xXx-
I parked the cherry bomb and heard his heartbeat as soon as I opened the door. I smiled to myself at how his heart was my own personal GPS tracker. I paid for entrance into the park and followed his heartbeat to the ice rink.
I realized I was there a little earlier than two, and I really wanted to walk around the amusement park area. It was closed for the season, but it would be so nice to go revisit some of the stands I had worked, the rides, the tree by the employee section, the…
No Bella! I told myself, remembering Alice chiding me earlier about keeping this date simple. This day just needed to be about Ed Masen with no complicated thoughts of Justin or a past I can't fully remember. Alice was right.
When I walked into the building that housed the ice rink, he was already on the ice shooting pucks into a goal with a hockey stick. I took in his body as he glided on the ice in the black hockey skates he wore. He was obviously skilled at this game. I watched as his tall, broad frame handled the ice, and every swing of the stick sent a hockey puck soaring through the air, landing in the goal.
"Hey," I called out, trying to keep my voice from sounding too high and too excited. "I'm here," I tossed in with a smile as I emerged from behind the entrance and breezed past the unmanned skate rental desk. I looked around and realized the entire place was empty.
"Brought my own skates," I added holding them up as he turned to see me. In my other hand was a medical kit, a smaller version of Carlisle's. "And this." I held it up for him to see, and he laughed lightly. "Just in case."
He turned his head and smiled at me, effortlessly sent two more pucks sailing through the air landing in the boundaries of the goal, and then skated over toward me smoothly, skidding to a stop. I was acutely aware of every shard of ice he sent whirling in the air as his blades cut through the top layer. He stopped in front of me, flashed a smile and chewed harshly on his gum on the far side of his mouth.
"Great doc! Put'em on. We've got the rink to ourselves for a couple of hours."
I sat down on a green bench and began the process of pulling off my Keds and lacing up my skates. I hadn't been ice skating in a couple of years, and I was seriously banking on the hope that I was going to be able to take the ice as lithely as I was able to take the forest. As I laced up my skates, my eyes followed the form of Ed—black jeans that were faded, black leather coat accented by yellow stripes around the cuffs and collar, and matching black leather gloves.
"I'll be right back," he said with a wink. He skated back out onto the ice, lined up his shots and sunk three more pucks into the goal. He was definitely showing off.
"Is hockey a hobby of yours?" I called over, standing myself up and taking the first step out onto the ice. I took a moment to get a feel for the blades below me.
He was shuffling a puck back and forth with his stick, the equivalent of dribbling in basketball, keeping the puck very well controlled. "You could say that." He looked up, capturing my attention, then skated over to me holding the stick out. "Wanna try?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows and flashing me a smile.
He retrieved some of the pucks from the goal and lined up a few shots for me then proceeded to confess that he used to play hockey professionally for the Seahawks in Chicago. "I was completely living my dream. Playing hockey has always been my passion, but something went wrong with my ticker and it pulled me right out of the game. Everything went up in smoke. My career. My future. The women. The parties."
I gasped lightly in shock of hearing this, and yet I felt some twisted satisfaction in understanding that, like me, his plans had been derailed due to circumstances beyond his control. Just how many women, though?
"Do you know how to use one of these, Doc?"
I shook my head no. "And you can call me Bella. I'm not really a doctor yet." He smiled as he demonstrated how to hold the hockey stick first and then held it out for me to try. I didn't quite match my fingers up to his liking and he stepped behind me very close.
"Here, like this." He moved my hands into position around the stick and shadowed my whole frame. "You're gonna pull it back about this far…" he said as he covered my hands with his and helped pull the stick back into the air, "and then let it go." Together we sent a puck skimming across the ice but I cared less about where the black disc landed and more about how insanely intoxicating it felt to have his arms wrapped around me.
"Perfect, Bella," he whispered into my ear, sending chills down my spine just to hear him say my name. In quick reaction I turned to look at him, and our lips grazed each other by accident. I pulled away just as quickly, while Ed took a step away from me.
"Sorry," I murmured, putting my head down so our eyes wouldn't meet.
"Not your fault," he replied almost immediately, his warm breath reaching my cheek. "So," He paused. "Wanna take some shots?"
"Sure." He had gotten himself another hockey stick, and we each took turns. I laughed at how coordinated I seemed to have become even though I couldn't ever remember playing hockey before in my life. He skated off to the side at one point and seemed to watch me in amazement at my newfound skills complimenting me with a 'Nice' or a 'good shot.'
I didn't make every shot, but after I sunk five pucks in a row he skated up to me with his right hand raised. "High five!" I clapped his hand a little too hard in the excitement, but he didn't comment. "Let's see some more."
He stood behind me while I sailed five more pucks, one by one, through the air. "Alright!" he exclaimed. "Give it up!" He had both hands in the air this time after tucking his stick under his arm. I did the same and made contact with both hands, more lightly this time. He intertwined his fingers through one hand, capturing it, and held on tightly as he brought it down.
"Skate with me." He was almost asking. I pulled my hand free from his and we deposited our sticks off to the side of the ice.
We separated as I started to hesitantly glide along the ice, trying to make sure this was looking natural, pretending to be slightly unsteady. He reached me and maintained a speed with me. He crisscrossed his skates as he moved, while I seemed to push off and glide. He went in front of me and then turned around putting his hands out. I was keen to the fact that he could skate backwards. He shook his hands like he was waiting for me and brightly smiled over at me as he smacked on his gum. I gave in to him again, slipping my gloved fingers into his palms and felt his hands curl around them, gripping me firmly.
"Do you trust me?"
I blinked in reaction. Not if he was going to try to Pamchenko me or something. "Not implicitly," I admitted with a laugh. From what little I knew about my four-circle car guy, he liked to take risks-risks I wouldn't take if I were him. He gave me another flash of his teeth and pulled slightly on me until he was easily steering me. How could he skate backwards like that? He sometimes looked over his shoulder and I laughed as he reassured me we wouldn't crash but then tried to scare me with an 'ut oh' or a 'look out' before he cracked another huge crooked smile at me and took in my reaction as my eyes got fearful each time I thought we were about to fall or crash into the wall. He finally unnerved me by taking one of my hands and gliding steadily next to me. We skated in silence for a few more minutes until he let go and skated ahead of me.
"Thank you," he said quietly.
"For what?"
"For humoring me, with hockey. I still skate when I can, but I miss the game. Most people think I'm too fragile to play with." He laughed.
Well this seemed a little ironic.
"Was there any hope of you getting back in the game?"
"There was. I went to some expensive specialists and they tried, but even after I had all of my procedures done I was never cleared to play again. I had a short reckless time in my life until I literally stumbled into this gig designing roller coasters."
"Am I boring you yet?" he laughed again.
"No! Actually… I'm kind of fascinated by the fact that all of this led you to Forks."
"Even though I wasn't playing hockey anymore professionally I was still connected to some people. The owner of the Seahawks' team has a brother who runs a big engineering firm. When everything went down he offered me a job. He said calculating speed and force on the ice was similar to figuring out the mechanics of a roller coaster."
"Is it?"
"Not really." He gave a quick smile and scrunching up of his face. "But I did major in engineering in college so to me it was at least a challenge. For the past year I've travelled all around the States either studying or helping to design coasters."
"This coaster will actually be the first one I'm lead on." He led me over to the bench and sat me down.
"Watch this. Stay here. I want to show you something I learned how to do when I was a kid." He skated out to the middle of the ice and stunned me as I watched him skate around the rink a few times picking up speed until he did a solid backflip in the air landing it perfectly.
"ARE YOU…You're, you're fucking crazy you know that!" I stood up half shouting, effectively letting go of a breath I didn't realize I was holding onto so tightly.
He skated back over to me, and I could hear his heart had sped up and was beating the way a music box first plays too fast when you've wound it to full capacity. His heart was feeding off of the amount of adrenaline pumping through his body after doing such a crazy stunt.
"Liked that didn't you?" He laughed again but then must have realized how disturbed I was by his actions. "Come on doc, you gotta live a little!"
"Yeah but now your heart is going berserk."
"It is?" By this time he was right in front of me and quirked an eyebrow up toward me. "How do you know?" He had stepped off the ice and sat down next to me.
"I- I-" Oh crap!
He took my gloved hand and placed it on his chest above his heart. Despite the fur-lined glove, I realized how instantly his heart reacted, settling to a perfectly normal rate and rhythm. He smiled, almost knowingly, and he looked into my eyes like he was waiting for something more from me.
"See? All better."
And he really was. And somehow, it was like I was doing something to help.
"So what about you?"
"Oh, I'm fine," I murmured. I still had my hand over his heart in amazement at how his heart reacted and a little worried how he seemed to know. He had to have picked up more that day in the hospital than I realized -picked up on something that I couldn't even explain and something I was unwilling to talk about to the one person who may be able to explain it, Carlisle.
He was laughing. "Yes, I know that. Not what I was asking."
"What? Oh I can't do a backflip on the ice."
He laughed more. "Why are you still laughing at me?" I asked.
"Because I was expecting you to answer my question."
"Didn't I?"
"Not exactly." He chuckled lightly. "Maybe I should try it again. How soon until you complete your residency in Forks? What kind of doctor are you studying to be? Why do you go to the mall so much?"
"Oh. Well I was planning on becoming a pediatrician that specializes in infectious diseases but…"
"But what? You're rethinking things?"
"I still want to help children, but it's…"
"Complicated?" He asked suspiciously. A silence fell between us, and I was more frustrated with being a vampire at that moment than I had ever been in my last seven months of this new existence. Dealing with having my hopes and dreams stolen from me was enough of a roadblock, but I never considered what an obstacle it would be to open up and talk to someone about it.
"So tell me Doc, would you know anything about a dream I had that night in the hospital of an angel kissing me and telling me to feel better?"
Oh sweet lollipop! How could he have known? How the hell was I going to explain this? I felt all the blood rushing to my cheeks, but thankfully my new skin surface was impermeable to the blush.
"Hmmmm, maybe?" I narrowed my eyes at him trying to judge if there was any possible way he was just testing me and didn't actually know I did that. I thought he was deeply asleep when I did that.
He smiled to himself in satisfaction. "So…that really happened?"
"Oh God. That's really … embarrassing."
"Embarrassing?" He laughed. "You mean you don't make a habit of kissing your patients? Or most of them just aren't conscious enough to remember?"
"No! I've never done that before."
"Never?"
"Not ever!"
The smirk that adorned his face was full of arrogance and suggestion. "Then why me?" He chewed his gum harder.
"It's just that …" Ah, defeat. I wanted to explain the whole thing about Justin to him, and yet I knew how ridiculous it sounded when I was telling Alice and Esme. I wasn't ready to make myself look even more foolish to him. And I definitely didn't want him to know that in kissing him, I was willing it to feel like Justin.
"I felt badly about upsetting you and I was trying to apologize to you."
"I see. Well, it's … uhh… me that needs to apologize here to you for my reaction to you that day in the hospital. I feel like I lashed out at you. It was a knee jerk reaction." He chuckled and tilted his head, "minus the knee."
Ut oh, so he does remember, but I'm not going to admit it. "Ummm, it's always so cold in the hospital. My hands were cold when I touched you. I really should have been wearing latex gloves anyway."
I was talking over him as he was saying he was sorry.
"Wait, what? Gloves? No, it was more than that." He scrunched his face and shook his head slightly in protest. "It was the shock of…" He stopped and looked at me questioningly, thinking over the day or thinking over me. "Well, it felt surprising. And different. And…"
"And?"
He had gotten a little caught up and excited but then stopped like he just couldn't find the rest of the words he wanted to say.
"And….I'm glad you said yes to my invitation because this is me saying I'm sorry for how I behaved."
"Oh, I get it. So this is a pity date?" I clasped my hands in front of my mouth, blew air into them, and rubbed them together, without thinking, like I was trying to keep warm.
He laughed - a booming laugh that echoed off the ice and ridged walls but didn't pick up any of the coldness. It was a warm laugh actually, like we were old lovers reminiscing over carefree days.
"Hardly. Life is too short for pity dates, at least in my world."
"Then what is this?"
"In a word? An opportunity."
"That's two words."
"Yes, and two words too many when you're dying to …"
Ed stopped. His gaze rested beyond me on the empty bleachers.
Dying to what? What was he dying to do? His heart rate increased along with a spike in his adrenaline that I could smell rushing through his body.
"Ed?" I asked trying to draw his attention back. I got up and skated a quick circle in place before leaning over and patting his knee.
"Sorry. Overwhelming memory I couldn't place. I get those sometimes." He shook his head and smiled followed by a nervous chuckle. "Ever have those?" He asked casually.
"Actually, I do." He didn't need to know that I was still piecing parts of my old life back together. I put out my gloved hand, and he took it as he stood up, stepped onto the ice, and then began to lead me around the rink easily. I laughed as he would suddenly jerk me closer to him with rounding the corners.
"So," I began, "was it a memory of playing hockey that being on the ice incited?" In the beautiful head of yours
"No, it wasn't. I was in a Ferris wheel car with my arms wrapped around a girl."
"Ohhhhhh," I teased, "memories of an ex-girlfriend. So what was her name?"
"That's just it, I don't think it is a memory. When I was a kid my mother took me on a Ferris wheel and I puked in the car. It was enough to make me not go on the Ferris wheel ever again after that until a few days ago when I rode the one here. Before the roller coaster." He frowned adding in the last part.
"You were scared of the height as a kid?"
"No. I think I just had a bad corndog that day. I've never had a problem with heights on any other rides."
"Weird, so maybe it was just a dream you had that you were remembering?"
"Maybe. I don't know what to chalk up to real or drug-induced dreams these days. Like you, for instance."
"Me?" I asked surprised as we skated along. He took my hand and held it up shaking it gently between us.
"Yep. You. This could just be a hallucination-the sweetest side effect of a prescribed drug I'm taking." He wiggled his eyebrows at me and flashed a brilliant smile.
"Ha! No I'm quite real. And what were you saying about how you were dying to…" Before I could finish he had jerked me toward him as we rounded the far end of the rink but my toe pick caught and I ended up falling backwards, bringing him with me unintentionally. I had enough wits to make sure I softened the blow by allowing him to land on top of me.
"Whoa, whoa!" He was trying to prevent the fall but couldn't.
"Whoops!" I squealed. We both laughed as we fell, an overwhelming, tension-relieving laugh full of innocence and joy. I lost my vampire self in the emotions of it and almost felt human.
I lay on the ice vibrating from the laughter with my eyes closed. His body shook with mine as he was still holding on to me, and the harmonious sound coming from his mouth accented his pink lips and blustered cheeks.
We slowed together, the rhythm of our laughter merging into one and trailing off.
"Okay?" he asked.
"Fine," I said smiling as I adjusted my legs and bent one knee up as I felt his hip bone jutting into my thigh.
"You'd be a real asset to a hockey team," he snorted.
"Oh sure, as what? Their mascot?" I replied knowing he was teasing. He chewed on his gum and laughed with me until I was suddenly very aware of how close he was. The powdered sugar and woodsy smell was enveloping me, sweet and musky, teasing me more than his blood.
"No," his tone dropped deep and throaty, "you're far too pretty to hide behind a mask."
Oh that was good Mr. Masen.
He brought his right hand up to his mouth and used his teeth to pull off his glove, lightly tossing it aside onto the ice then slowly brought his hand up to cradle my face, gently caressing my cheek in slow butterfly-inducing strokes, playfully outlining just the corner of my mouth where my lips tickled and curled up in reaction to his touch. My face leaned into his hand, even though I was struggling in my mind with how close he was. He could have no idea how warm and wonderful his touch felt to my new skin. Emmett had touched my skin just last week as we embraced, but it didn't feel anything like this. This was like wrapping up in a blanket pulled right out of a dryer.
Carlisle wouldn't approve, but even worse, the family would be disappointed in me if I were to mess up, if I were to allow the monster they had always warned resided somewhere deep within me to finally rise and seize my wits, undermine my good self-control and take possession of my instincts. Blood boiled through my veins and radiated through my body. Enough that the ice I was horizontal on should have been melting below me.
"So that kiss, in the hospital…" he started. His breath was a mix of minty from his gum and citrusy.
"Yes?" I gulped. I never should have done that.
"How about you try that again, only this time, give me the chance to actually kiss you back…"
I blinked up at him. He was giving me half a smile. That crooked smile of his. A smile that seemed perfected, like a sharpened tool he used to get what he wanted. Or maybe it was more of a bag of tricks he had. If so, I wanted to know what other magic he could show me.
I felt his weight over my body, with his neck dangerously within the same level as my razor-sharp teeth. His jugular was right there, throbbing. It was appealing, but my focus wasn't on the pulsing of his blood or even its delicious scent. I was too drawn to the invitation at his lips. I brought my hands up to his chest then fisted the lapels of his soft leather coat, opened my mouth slightly and pulled his face down to mine until our lips met. My hands remained on his coat but against his chest, and I could hear his heartbeat evening out to a more normal steady rhythm as we kept up a gentle pace of kissing with just our lips sweetly sliding back and forth. His lips were warm and the deliciousness of his kiss felt like a drop of the sun itself reaching my mouth. His eyes weren't open but even closed they smiled, telling me he was getting what he wanted. I kept the kiss slow, marveling in the sensation greedily but not wanting his heart to go haywire. He kept up perfectly, never pressing for anything more.
When he broke the kiss he looked dazzled by me as he murmured, "So much better while conscious."
He pulled away then kissed me quickly twice more like he wasn't quite ready to disconnect from me as his hand slid up to curve along my temple, and his fingers gently twisted in the pieces of my hair that stuck out from beneath my hat.
"Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she. . . .
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars"
Shakespeare? I didn't mind hearing voice was low and seductive.
"Do you always quote Shakespeare to women?"
"No," he whispered, "usually only to virgins."
I righted myself and pushed him away from me. Oh my God! Did he really just say that? I couldn't believe it! "What did you just say?"
He shook his head, moving his ungloved hand now to his own forehead pinching at it. "Bella, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. Or where it came from even."
I glowered at him because I did know where it came from. I was standing now and backing away slowly. He put his hand out then clutched at his chest. I heard how his heart rate was dropping again but he wasn't in any immediate danger medically. It was just a reaction, like I had pulled the plug to an extra flow of energy for him. Pulling away from him seemed to mean hurting him physically, and I didn't want to do it. But what he said. Why of all things did he say that to me?
"I-, I think I have to leave," I announced wearily.
I was skating away much faster than I should have and yet he caught up to me circling in front of me and cutting me off with a sharp digging off his blades into the ice.
"Hey, don't go." He gently curved his still ungloved hand around my arm in protest. "I was enjoying getting to know you."
All I could think of was how this date with four-circle car guy was probably cursed from the start. I shook my arm free, escaping his grip without hurting him, and skated over to the side of the rink where I had left my shoes. I pulled at the bow on the top of my skates so hard the lace broke.
"Bella, look sometimes I say things I don't mean. Uhhh, this is so frustrating." He was crouching in front of me, pulling at his hair. I didn't answer him and instead busied myself with the task of unlacing my skates and replacing my shoes.
"Don't Ed."
"Edward," he said, like he was correcting me.
"What?"
"I'd prefer you call me Edward." He shrugged but looked me in the eye as he said it. "In case I forgot to mention that earlier."
"What?" I asked annoyed. I'm pissed at what he said and he's making up new rules about what to call him?
"Look, I'm..." He reached out for my hand, but I pulled it back too quickly.
I picked up my skates and pushed past him. "I have to go," I announced in a hurry. As soon as I walked out of his view and made sure no one else was around, I ran at Olympic champion runner speed to get to my car. Once inside I gasped and gasped for air like I had been just pulled out of the bottom of a swimming pool.
It wasn't his fault. I suspected that anyway, but I was still too freaked out to face him. It was just too much to deal with.
I kicked the cherry bomb into drive and sped back home. Alice was there as I came flying through the front door, slamming it behind me before shedding my jacket and accessories.
"Did the date go that badly?" she asked.
"Where's Esme?" I demanded as I hung up my coat on the hook.
"Bella, what's going on?"
"What's going on you ask? I'll tell you. Jacob Black is dead and he's still fucking with me."
"What are you talking about?"
"Esme?" I sniffed the air for her.
"She's not here. It's just me," Alice assured me. "What happened? You didn't hurt him did you? I should have gone with you. I shouldn't have let you go by yourself."
"Ugh!" I sunk down into Emmett's green chair and proceeded to tell Alice every minute of the date, including the gloriousness that was his lips on mine, until Shakespeare ruined it for me.
Alice laughed at me and told me she was glad I hadn't drained my date dry. "So that's it? It sounds like he got a little caught up. He said he didn't mean it."
"Alice! Weren't you listening at all to Esme the other day when we were talking about Justin? She said sometimes a dead person can jack a person's body and mind for a short term. Imprinting she called it."
"Yeah, I guess but what does this have to do with Justin? Wait! Oh my God, you found out he's dead?"
"No, not him. Jacob Black!"
"Jacob?"
"It was something he used to do. Quoting Shakespeare was part of his seduction of virgins. He used to brag how all it took was dropping lines from 'Romeo and Juliet' to get girls to spread their… to give in to him."
"Well Bella don't you think that's something a lot of guys do?"
I rolled my eyes at Alice. I guess I didn't know much about four-circle car guy's past, but as smitten as I was with the guy I didn't want to think of him as having potentially ever been that much of a jerk. Of course, he did seem to say he had no shortage of girls when he was playing major league hockey. I'll just bet he did.
"I'm telling you Alice. It was that goddamn Jacob Black! Even dead he's still trying to mess with my head and get to me." I took the time to yell upward toward the universe, "Didn't you do enough to me, asshole?"
"So what did you do when he said that?"
"I got the hell out of there."
"You just left? Without explaining anything to him?"
"Alice what exactly was I supposed to tell him? He told me that sometimes he says things that he doesn't mean, that it wasn't him. I really wish Esme was here. I'm sure she would understand," I whined.
"Bella?"
"Yes?"
"Are you still dreamweaving over this guy?"
"Alice!"
Oh my little troll. I was too angry to have to admit this. I threw up my hands to cover my eyes. "You know I was. Or am. Still."
"If this thing was caused by Jacob Black like you think, then is it Eddie's fault?"
I sighed heavily. She was going to start making sense.
I caved. "No," I huffed.
"And if you walk away from Eddie isn't that letting Jacob Black take something away from you all over again? If Jacob is trying to sabotage something good in your life are you going to allow it to happen?"
"Oh my gosh Alice, you're so right!" I stood up and hugged her tightly. "What would I do without you?"
"Oh without me you'd have probably have gotten yourself staked by Buffy by now or gone to the Volturi and enlisted to be a spy for them or something. "
"That sounds cool. I can do that?" I laughed. "Alice?"
"Yeah, sweetie?"
"Am I a virgin … again?" She giggled at me in response. "Don't laugh! Am I?" I pouted.
"Well I guess you could be if you wanted to be. That first time will all feel so different, so much more electric!"
"Even if it was with him?"
Alice giggled a bit more. "Listen we are all set to go to Denali this weekend. You definitely need to meet Aunt Tanya. I think she can help you with these questions more than I can. I may have had sex with a few humans years ago, but it's nothing I can remember too well. And nothing that I want to think too fondly of in front of Jasper, if you catch my drift. We'll leave Saturday morning, okay? It'll be fun."
As I nodded in agreement, the doorbell rang. I looked at her questioningly but then she assured me she had ordered a few things and it was probably UPS delivering. As she walked downstairs to answer the door, my internal GPS tracker on Mr. Masen said UPS wasn't calling.
"Hi. I'm looking for Bella. Is she here?" I heard him say.
"She sure is!" Alice said with too much enthusiasm. "Right this way. You must be Ed Masen."
"I am."
"Ohhhh my, it's nice to meet you. Can I call you Eddie?"
"Not if you expect me to answer."
I laughed to myself as I rolled my eyes. She was always trying to get away with saying these types of things!
"Ooooh, a Pretty Woman fan. I like this one, Bella."
"Judging from the rock on your hand, I'm guessing you must be Alice?"
"I am! Yes, come in! I'd shake your hand but my hands are full. Say…If I can call you Eddie, you can call me Al."
"Nice to meet you Alice, and sorry, as much as I like Paul Simon and his music, I'd prefer you to call me Edward."
I met them at the top of the stairs realizing I had to rescue him from Alice's pop culture overkill. "Sorry, you'll have to excuse my friend Alice here. She has a serious pop culture fixation."
"Yeah, I noticed." He chuckled at Alice, and I wasn't sure if Alice liked that or not. "It's not lost on me Alice, I just prefer Edward."
"What are you doing here?" I asked confused and surprised. "Did you follow me?" Wait how could he have? Either he drives like a freakin' Cullen or he's got a GPS on my car.
He held up my medical kit and pointed to it with his opposing index finger. "You forgot this."
"Oh, I hadn't realized," I said quietly as I took the bag from him and set it down on the dining room table. He followed me to the living room. "But how did you know where I lived?"
He smiled sinfully. "I asked around. A lot of people seem to know the general vicinity of where Dr. Cullen lives." He took the opportunity to glance around the house, pausing to a faraway place for a minute.
"Oh, right."
"Look, can we go somewhere and talk?" He glanced over at Alice who was still standing there.
How's this for a pop culture reference…
Answer: The person checking out Edward Masen's ass.
Question: Who is Alice, the engaged vampire?
If she thinks I missed the fact that she checked out his ass she was sorely mistaken and she was going to be in jeopardy.
"Sure, ummm…" I contemplated taking him up to my room but decided that was too risky. "We have a garden out back," I motioned with my thumb like I was hitching a ride.
"Lead the way."
"Eddie, can I get you something to drink? Hot tea or lemonade?"
"Lemonade would be great, thank you. And this one still prefers Edward." He smiled at me, never taking his eyes off me to look back at Alice. Oh dear, he must think he is the most recent in a long line of guys.
Alice bulged her eyes at me as a reminder that I had forgotten one of our rules about 'playing the role' of a human in front of humans. "Oh right, how silly of me… Edward. Bella, you're good, right? I mean you aren't thirsty are you?"
She was implying more regarding thirst. "No! I mean yes! Yes! I'm good, thanks Alice. You are always such the kind hostess."
"No problem, Bella. I think you've just have a lot on your mind."
Edward walked behind me. "Alice makes it sound like you have a lot of guys showing up at your house unannounced," he said as we reached the French doors that led to the outside patio. I opened the back patio door at the lever, and felt him push and hold it open from above my head. "Is there someone else who might be showing up any time soon?" he asked.
That was a loaded question. It's not like I expected Jacob to 'show up' and yet that is exactly what he did today, but Edward didn't know that. Truth be told, I knew what he was asking, though. We had a discussion in the hospital ruling out Emmett, Carlisle, and Alice but I hadn't openly said I wasn't involved with anyone.
"There hasn't been in months actually." (No one even knew about my last relationship, not even Alice. He was a graduate student at school. Things had ended before Spring Break, thankfully.) I turned to him, just before stepping outside, looking for his reaction but there was none. Our eyes met, and I tried to concentrate on them beyond listening to his heart, until I turned away.
Edward followed me out the back French doors that opened to a cobblestone patio with yellow cushioned lounge chairs and from there we breezed along a cobblestone path that led to Esme's pride and joy, a white picket fenced-in wildflower garden complete with benches and a white arbor that was adorned by sprawling vines and flowers. This had been my sanctuary those first few weeks of my new life, even before my first hunt. Esme kept me company out here as she pruned and weeded and I enjoyed all of the floral scents. I knew the overwhelming sweet smells would be enough to distract me in the presence of Edward and the day's events. Even though at this moment, I thought that I should really be craving a cigarette.
I waited for him to take a seat on a bench and watched as he leaned his elbows into his legs and dropped his head into his hands. He groaned out of frustration.
I stood watching him, wanting to comfort him by putting my now ungloved hand in his and reassuring him that this wasn't his fault, that I believed that.
He looked up at me and waited until he met my eyes. "Look Bella, I'm really sorry about how things ended today. I wish I could explain it better but I'm not sure I know how to. I didn't mean to ask you out as an apology for how I acted in the hospital only to have to apologize to you again."
"It's okay, really. I just freaked out because of what you said …ummm, it reminded me of someone – someone who hurt me."
"I- I-, I had no idea. I'm so sorry." He looked up at me, almost like he was seeing me again for the first time, maybe because we were out in the light of day, which in Forks wasn't very bright, certainly no sparklage.
"My God, you're striking," he said in awe.
I rolled my eyes. "Ahh, right." I laughed to myself slightly over the camouflage.
"You are. I should have just let you walk away. I shouldn't have come," he sighed.
What? "No you shouldn't have!" I blurted out too quickly. He was here and I was happy he was here. I didn't want him to just walk away.
"I shouldn't have come?" He looked at me questioningly. "It's just that it wrecked me to watch you walk away and think that I screwed up with you."
"Oh." I replied not being able to tell if this was just more effects of the camouflage. It had to be. There was no way he could be so attached to me. He barely knew me.
"It did. Check my heart. It's still all so out of whack."
He stood up and took my hand cautiously, raising it up and placing it up to his chest. The second my hand made contact the electric current passed through us, and his heart settled into a completely normal rate and rhythm.
"Tell me if you want me to go," he said softly.
"No, that's not what I meant. I'm glad you're here." I slowly lifted my eyes back to his. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly, his citrusy breath landing lightly across my face just because he was a head taller than me.
"How do you do that?" he asked quietly with a scrunch of his eyebrows, a wrinkle of his forehead, and a smile hinting at his lips.
"Do what?" I asked innocently.
"Instantly make my world feel like a less complicated place."
"Oh," I grinned, "I bet that line works on all the girls."
"It's not a line."
"Oh come on. What works better for you? Shakespeare or that line? Hopefully you only use the 'I might need CPR' on girls in the medical field."
"It's not a line. And I've never quoted Shakespeare before today. I just know that when I'm with you…, when I'm near you…when you touch me…it feels better...here." His right hand covered mine over his heart then moved up to frame my cheek, letting his thumb gently fondle my chin down to the middle of my neck, tilting my chin up slightly... Good God his thumb was long.
"You are CPR to me."
I smiled at him, trying to stay grounded in how much I affected him.
He shook his head like he couldn't believe what he was about to say. "I have work meetings, business dinners, and some other prior obligations that will keep me busy through the weekend, but I'd like to see you again next week." His breath and words danced together as they dangled off his lips keeping them anticipatory for what he was going to say next.
He took a minute to skim my nose with his, before unleasing his eyes widely on me.
"Say yes, Doc." His voice was low and husky, inviting and voluntary.
I was helplessly lost in the gaze of Edward Masen. Out in the haze of Forks, amongst the greenery his eyes were swirling waves of emerald in color, whereas earlier in the ice rink they looked like fixed steel gray buttons.
"She says yes. Here's your lemonade." Alice was there but I didn't feel Edward move to let me go, and I wasn't ready to disconnect from him either. "Well I'll just leave it on the table here for when you're ready." Alice giggle-snickered as she walked away.
I was still stuck in this perfect trance; it was a moment in time framed by forever. I was captivated by Edward with his heart feeling completely normal and my cold, dead one feeling like it was regenerating within me.
Slowly he leaned in and kissed me, softly placing his lips against mine and making me feel weak in places of my body that were thought to be as hard as marble. He controlled the kiss this time, keeping it slow and tender, while I allowed my hand to remain on his heart and reminded myself that the venom wasn't threatening his mouth. He pulled his lips back once to breathe, "Say yes." He shook his head slightly, "I know it's selfish of me, but I want to be with you more, spend as much time with you as I can."
Despite whatever mojo he seemed to think I was doing to his heart to steady it, it was really Edward who was making me feel better.
"Yes," I whispered back to him. "I want to be with you more, too."
His right hand left my face and stroked through the side of my hair before settling in it, and he used the leverage to slightly pull me in closer to him. He deepened the kiss with a heavy sweeping of his tongue, before pulling away and resting his forehead on mine. His left hand traveled up and covered my hand that still lay on top of his chest.
"Good," he kissed my nose then smiled, pulling my hand down from his heart but keeping it caged in his grasp. "Come on Doc, I just realized you don't have a coat on, and you're freezing. We need to get you inside and warmed up."
Actually, I was already very, very warm, Edward Masen.
A/N; Quite a lot going on in this chapter! So the reason Edward thinks it would be selfish of him to spend time with her is because he knows eventually he'll be leaving the area and moving back to Chicago, right? Or could it be something else?
Bella believes Jacob 'imprinted' on Edward. I bet there's one you never thought you'd read in Twilight HET fanfiction. lol
Thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.