A/N: *evil laughter*
"You said, 'I am young, and I am yours
I am free, but I am flawed
I am here in your heart
I was here from the start.'"
~Benjamin Francis Leftwich, "Box of Stones"
Chapter 8: The Two Geese
Eren was still sleeping well into the next day.
They found an old hunting cabin in the woods, just large enough to house him in while he healed, but everyone else had to remain on guard, knowing Annie was still out there somewhere. Hange said that it was normal for him to be out for a while after transformations, but never for this long. This statement did nothing to ease Mikasa's anxiety. She barely left his bedside, watching his chest go up and down with each deep breath he took, silently willing his eyes to open with every passing second.
But they didn't.
"Hey Mikasa? Do you want to go get some rest?"
She didn't know how long she'd been sitting in silence when Armin showed up at the door late the next evening, but she didn't care.
"No, I'm fine."
"Are you sure? You've got to be tired. You didn't sleep at all last night, did you?"
"I'm fine."
She heard Armin sigh, and slowly his soft footsteps approached her from behind.
"He'll wake up, I promise. He always does."
Mikasa didn't say anything, nor did she take her eyes off of Eren's breathing.
"At the very least, you should eat something. Here, I brought this just in case."
He set a small bowl of stew down on the old wooden table next to the bed with a hollow clunk, but didn't try saying anything else after that. Mikasa heard the door of the cabin open quietly, the room temporarily bathed in soft sunlight before it shut to leave them once again illuminated only by candles.
"Please," she whispered after a long time, gently picking up Eren's hand and leaning her cheek against it, letting its warmth reassure her that there was still life in his unmoving form.
"Please, Eren, you have to wake up…"
A somber mood hung over the rest of the squad outside the cabin as they cleaned up after dinner and prepared to rest. Eventually Erwin broke away, signaling for Levi to follow him as he put enough distance between them and the rest of the group so that they wouldn't be overheard.
For a long time, the two didn't say a word, staring up at the stars instead, standing side-by-side.
"I'm just going to say it," Levi said finally. "We should have seen that one coming."
"Maybe," Erwin nodded, still not looking at the Captain. "But there's nothing we can do about it now."
"So… game plan?"
Erwin shrugged. "Same as before. Get to Shiganshina. Find out what's in the basement. Protect Jaeger. Try to stop the Titans. Reclaim the world."
"You don't think we should try to do anything about Leonhardt?"
"What can we do?"
Levi ground his teeth, dropping his gaze to the forest floor. "It just feels wrong not doing anything."
"I know."
Before Levi could say anything else in response, the crunching of twigs under boots behind them announced Hange's arrival.
"No change," she reported. "I've never seen him out this long before."
"Just give it time. Annie kind of kicked the shit out of him. It's probably just taking his body longer to heal," Levi offered.
"That's my theory too, but try telling that to Ackerman. She won't leave his side. She's worried sick. I could hardly get past her to check up on him!" Hange chuckled softly as she spoke.
"I guess Jaeger was worried for nothing then," Levi muttered.
"What are you talking about?" Erwin raised his magnificent eyebrows.
"Just stupid drama with the junior crowd. Trust me, it will be better for all of us if it's over. Those kids are being insufferable."
"If you say so. Any new theories about what might be going on with her?"
"Well she's clearly in love with him."
"Very funny. I meant the Ackerman thing."
"No. I'm at a loss. I have no idea who her father is, no idea what connection we could possibly have… whether we're third cousins or if I've got a niece or a half-sister or something I never knew about… No idea. I'm not even sure if knowing would help us much anymore anyway."
"We're so close to the basement at this point, we might not have to guess much longer for answers," Hange pointed out.
Erwin shook his head. "That's true, but we have to keep on our toes. We've been building up this place for so long that I'm afraid we're starting to put too much faith in it. We don't know what kind of information Dr. Jaeger hid down there, but I highly doubt it will give us the full picture. Most likely, just more puzzle pieces."
Levi and Hange nodded silently.
"It was a blow losing Leonhardt like that. But we can't let it distract us. We have to stay focused on the task at hand for now. It's all we can do. I'll keep watch for the night. Those kids have been through enough for the day. You two should try to get some sleep," Erwin instructed.
"Alright. 'Night then, see you boys bright and early!" the sound of Hange's footsteps retreated from the clearing.
"I'll stay with you," Levi said once she'd gone. "I don't know if I can get much sleep right now anyway."
"Thanks."
Crickets chirped in the grass below. The stars sparkled in the sky above. For a moment, the earth they struggled so hard to remain a part of seemed settled under a blanket of calm.
But both seasoned veterans staring up at the stars together knew that it wouldn't last.
It never did.
As the night deepened, so did the silence, and when Reiner and Bertholdt got up in the latest, darkest hours of it all to sneak away from their blankets, no one heard a thing. They headed for a different part of the forest, well away from both the regular camp area in front of the cabin and from where they knew Erwin and Levi were standing guard.
It seemed like Reiner had been holding a lot of things in.
"That bitch! How could she do this to us?"
"I knew you were going to do this."
"No, don't give me that, I have every right to be mad, and you do too, Bert. How can you be so calm?"
Bertholdt shrugged. He was always calm.
"So what do we do now, any ideas?"
Bertholdt shrugged again. "I think it's only a matter of time before they start to suspect us. Maybe we should just follow Annie and try to get back."
"But we're so close. If that basement really has answers, we can't just wait for them to get to them first. We need some way to throw them off our scent long enough to make it there with them."
"So why don't we call in reinforcements? They already think it's weird there haven't been many Titans around. That could raise suspicion too."
"But we can only control them so much. What if they actually hurt someone?"
Both men fell quiet for a minute.
"You know… we're going to have to let them all go at some point. Eventually, they're going to find out the truth." Bertholdt's voice was gentle.
"I know."
"There's a good chance they're not all going to live."
"I know."
"There's a good chance we might have to kill them."
"I know." Reiner visibly winced this time.
"Annie was a lot better at this, I think."
"Yeah. Heartless bitch," Reiner chuckled darkly. "I'm jealous."
"Look, if we make it a weak call, only summon a few Titans, there's a good chance they'll be able to fight them off," Bertholdt pointed out. "You saw how fast Levi took down that stray the other day."
"We really don't have any choice," Reiner muttered. "At the end of the day, it's us or them. Hey let's try to get them to grab Jaeger while they're at it. Save us some trouble."
Bertholdt nodded. "Sure, couldn't hurt."
"Also no blowing our cover like Annie did. Those transformations are our last-resort defenses at this point. There's no going back once we go there."
Bertholdt nodded again, staring down his comrade adamantly.
"All right, thanks. You're all I got left."
"And you're all I have left."
"Let's do this."
The giants were raising their arms, linking together, and stone was forming between them to solidify into walls, high as the clouds, the most beautiful cage humanity's collective eye had ever beheld. But the pain wasn't gone yet.
Those chosen didn't know what they were walking into as they crossed to the other side of the gate, the last people who would do so for many years. But they were seen off as heroes, the final celebration.
And then the lightning struck.
Eren woke panting, his heart beating fast like he'd just been running. An impending sense of doom hung over his head that he couldn't shake for a good few minutes as he fought to take in his surroundings: a small cabin, still out in Titan territory, he assumed. But where was everyone else?
He could see two Survey Corps jackets and two pairs of boots near the door of the place, which was clearly pretty old, sitting dormant for the ten years since its owner presumably fled behind the walls. It smelled like cobwebs and dust, and the mattress he was lying on felt pretty lumpy. Wait… two jackets hanging by the door? Two pairs of boots?
And then his brain finally processed one very important fact: Mikasa was there, in the room, right next to him.
She looked like she was just waking up too, a pained expression on her face. Her head had just been resting on his legs, and his hand was in hers. Before he'd could react, she'd blinked the sleep from her eyes and dropped his hand quickly, face flushing. But her embarrassment quickly melted away as their eyes met. He barely had a second to register the new emotion on her face- Shock? Horror? Relief? –before she was crashing against him in a hug.
Eren's muscles tensed at first at the sudden contact, but he quickly relaxed, wrapping his arms around her back and pulling her in tighter.
"Wow," he breathed after a minute in that position, giving a soft chuckle. "How long was I out?"
Mikasa kept her face buried in his shoulder for a few more seconds before pulling back to answer, and when she did there were tears sparkling in her eyes.
"A full day and night, almost."
"Oh."
Eren didn't really know what to say after that. His body was already feeling the hollowness she'd left when she pulled away to sit back on the chair next to the bed, but more memories of what had happened before he'd transformed were starting to resurface.
"I… I can't believe you're here."
"What?"
"I kind of thought you'd still be mad at me… or scared of me… or something."
"Seriously?"
Eren nodded sheepishly, feeling extremely foolish. Looking at her now, illuminated by the dim light of candles that flickered across her beautiful features, he could feel every ounce of anxiety that had been weighing on him start to melt away. A new feeling was starting to set in instead, because the way she was looking at him was making it hard to breathe.
"Is that why you wouldn't tell me the truth? Because you thought I'd be scared of you?"
"Well… yeah? It's not that far of a jump to make. I mean, you saw me… I'm a monster."
To his great surprise, Mikasa smiled and looked down, tears still shining against her eyelashes.
"You're such an idiot. Scared for you, maybe. But no, I'm not scared of you."
"Maybe you should be."
"Then let me ask you something, Eren, would you ever hurt me?"
Eren felt his heart leap to his throat, his eyes widen. He sat straight up in bed now, reaching for her hand involuntarily.
"No, of course not! But… you haven't really seen it… Sometimes when I'm like that, I forget things. I have to transform with something really specific in mind, and when I do sometimes other stuff gets… left out."
"I see," Mikasa was pensive for a moment. "So… what were you thinking of when you transformed the other day?"
Eren felt heat rising quickly to his face.
"I was thinking about protecting everyone," he admitted. Then, before he could change his mind he let himself charge forward recklessly. "But mostly about protecting you."
His heart raced at the directness of his words, terrified that anything he said could scare her away at any moment. But still she remained, not even letting go of his hand. And she looked up at him with the most radiant smile he'd ever seen.
"Then I don't think I have much to worry about, do I?"
He laughed breathlessly, reveling in the rapid release of tension, the wall between them being quickly deconstructed with every second.
"You're crazy," Eren teased.
"Maybe. But I guess if things did get out of hand, I could always slice you up, considering I am the greatest Titan slayer this squad has ever seen..."
They both laughed now.
"That's true. You can kick my ass any day, Titan or not."
Their laughter subsided, leaving a peaceful quiet in its wake. Mikasa's hand was soft in Eren's: a perfect fit. He let his thumb move slowly across her skin in gentle stroking movements. She didn't pull away, her eyes following his thumb as though she were in a trance.
"Eren?"
"Yeah?"
"I need you to promise me something, okay?"
"Anything."
"No more secrets. Please."
He heard the crack in her voice and it twisted his heart with guilt. She'd let her head hang low again, but he brought up his other hand, the one that wasn't holding hers, and placed it under her chin gently to bring her gaze directly to his.
"Never again. You have my word."
This time, her tears spilled over, and then she was back on the bed with him, holding onto him for dear life, her head buried in his shoulder once again. This time he wasted no time letting his own arms envelop her right back.
"I'm so sorry Mikasa," he whispered over and over again. "I'm so sorry."
Eventually, she pulled back from his shoulder, letting her forehead touch his, eyes closed. Eren's breath caught at the close proximity; longing to break it, break down anything left between them once and for all, but he made himself resist, letting her cool breath flutter across his lips.
"I thought I'd lost you," she whispered finally.
"You're not going to lose me."
"You can't promise that."
"You're not going to lose me."
"I can't lose you."
"I can't lose you either."
Silence fell between them for another moment, but they did not move, each drinking in the presence of the other. For the moment, neither of them was lost; they were there, in each other's arms, alive and real and finally back where they belonged.
"Mikasa…" her name escaped his lips at a half-whisper, his tone still low and heavy with need. "Can I kiss you?"
She pulled her head back at this, her eyes popping open in surprise and the flush in her cheeks deepening.
"I… You want to…?"
Eren felt his heart drop.
"Wait, never mind, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have asked, just forget it-"
But his regretful words were silenced when her lips fell lightly onto his, holding them captive for a perfect moment before she let him go again, pulling back shyly, leaving him blinking in astonishment.
"Sorry, you just took me by surprise," a small smile pulled at her now as she spoke, her eyes dark and hazy. "I didn't think anyone would want to kiss me ever again, really."
"Well, you're wrong about that," Eren's voice was hoarse as he reached out a swift hand to cup the side of her face, letting his thumb run across her cheek slowly as he guided her back toward him.
And then he was the one catching her lips with his.
He heard her take in a sharp breath against his mouth and brought up his other hand so he now held both sides of her face, cradling her gently, part of him still afraid she'd vanish at any second if he moved too fiercely. But she stayed, wrapping her hands around his wrists, her lips drifting against his, their movements beginning to sync up as they breathed each other in.
She was so perfect, Eren found himself thinking, losing himself in everything that was Mikasa Ackerman: every musty scent, every bewitching sound, every trembling move. Yet again he cursed those wasted years, his own incompetence. He cursed his stupid fear, his secrecy, everything that had driven them apart until this moment. He could taste the salt of the tears on her lips, the tears he'd caused, and a wave of passion hit him. He wanted to drive those tears away once and for all.
He opened his mouth ever so slightly to suck on her bottom lip, getting rid of the rest of the tears, tasting her sweetness through their bitterness. She shuddered against him, breaking their contact briefly and emitting a small gasp that caused his blood to pulsate, a roaring sound filling his ears. Without thinking he dove into her open mouth, his tongue devouring her eagerly as she melted in his grip. A moan escaped her, immediately swallowed by him, driving his mind further into an animalistic haze.
Gradually, without either of them taking much notice until it was too late, they began to lean backwards, until Eren was adjusting their position, his lips hardly leaving hers, so she lightly fell onto her back beneath him. She reached up to tangle his hair in her hands, pulling him in tighter, the soft sighs she was releasing into him beginning to increase in frequency. And Eren was pouring everything into her now: how sorry he was for hurting her, how much he cared about her, how much he needed her to know he'd never hurt her again, and that he'd take down any force in the world who might dare try.
For the moment, they were each other's air.
Eren wanted to be closer, so much closer, nothing was close enough. And now their bodies were pressing into each other and he could feel her in ways that were starting to drive him out of his mind and his hands wanted to move, to roam, but as they tentatively began to slink down her sides, she froze.
Immediately, Eren knew he'd done something wrong.
"I'm sorry," he pulled away quickly. "Too far. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Mikasa'a hair framed her face like a an inky nimbus, her thin frame still pinned beneath him as she tried to catch her breath, attempting to regain her own focus. "I just… I need a little bit more time."
"No, it's fine, you don't have to-"
"Eren."
She pulled him back down to kiss him fiercely, stealing the air from his lungs. For a second, Eren felt like he might just lose it right then and there.
"I'm going to get there," she whispered when she broke away. "I want to get there. That place doesn't get to rule me. My past doesn't own me anymore. But I need a little bit longer."
"Of course," Eren murmured, his eyes still closed for a moment, recovering, until he opened them to hit her with a glowing smile. "Take as long as you need."
She giggled a little bit, reaching up to stroke his lips as she whispered, "I've never kissed anyone like that before."
Her eyes sparkled gorgeously, her face was flushed, her lips were still swollen from his kisses. She was so impossibly beautiful it was ridiculous. He leaned down to give her another kiss, a long one that caused her to hum against his lips.
"I haven't either," he answered finally. "God, you're amazing."
She smirked at him. "So I've heard."
"Oh really? From who?"
"I don't know, some idiot who saved my life."
She kissed him again.
"Actually, I believe it was you who last saved my life."
He kissed her again.
"Hey, speaking of, what were you doing there anyway, that day? If you hadn't thrown that rock, Annie could have probably gotten me before I could transform."
Slowly, he adjusted himself so that he was lying next to her instead of over her now, and she turned over onto her side so they were facing each other on the bed. Eren wound his fingers in hers, not wanting to break contact fully.
"You'd just been gone awhile, and then I noticed Annie was gone too, and I don't know… I just got this weird feeling that I should go check it out. I'm glad I went, though."
"Me too. How did I make it without you all this time?"
"Dumb luck probably."
"Guess so."
And then he was catching her next irresistible giggle against his lips in another kiss.
They carried on in a similar fashion for a long time. The candles burned low, and they had no idea how late into the night it was anymore. At one point, Eren offered for Mikasa to go back outside and sleep on her own, where everybody else was.
"You look tired," he intoned, brushing her hair behind her ear with delicate fingers.
"I'm not! I want to stay."
"Good, because I want you to stay too."
"What if the others find us in the morning?"
Eren shrugged. "I don't know… what can they really do about it?"
Mikasa smiled, hiding her face in his shoulder. Despite her insistence to the contrary, her eyelids were starting to droop, exposing the truth. Eren began stroking her hair gently with soothing motions, combing his fingers through the silky dark strands.
"It's okay to close your eyes," he whispered. Her eyelashes fluttered prettily as she began to surrender to his calming strokes.
"Promise you'll still be here when I wake up?"
"Of course."
He placed a long kiss on her forehead, pulling her into him, listening as her breathing grew deeper and more even. And even though he'd slept for so long already, he started to feel himself begin to drift off too… though he was never really sure if he actually fell asleep or not.
All he really knew for sure was her body wrapped in his as he held her for the rest of the night, and he never wanted it to end.
And so was the position they remained in when, sure enough, reality came flooding in on them the next morning with the sunlight streaming through the open door.
"Rise and shine, lovebirds!" an overly cheerful voice called out, making Mikasa groan and shift in Eren's arms, not wanting to open her eyes because she could already feel the light burning past the closed lids. She felt Eren's grip tighten around her.
"Shhh Mikasa just ignore her," his sleepy voice muttered in her ear. "Maybe if we're real quiet she'll go away…"
"No such luck, Jaeger!"
Hange was bounding over to the bed now, prodding Eren into a sitting position as she began an examination of his human form. Mikasa was left still lying to the side, and slowly she made herself open her eyes and greet the light of day. Eren looked incredibly disgruntled at Hange's invasion, wincing as she poked and prodded at his arm, making marks in her notebook, but Mikasa couldn't help but smile a bit to herself as she watched the scene.
It was daylight, and they were still here; he was still beside her, his heart still beating. It hadn't been a dream.
"All right, I guess you're all clear, Jaeger. I'm not really sure why your body needed so much extra time to heal, but it seems to have done the trick."
"I told you," a new voice drawled from the doorway, accompanied by a short shadow. "It's because Leonhardt nearly killed him."
Levi walked further in, glancing at the notes Hange was taking.
"Okay there Jaeger?"
Eren still appeared irritated but nodded grudgingly.
"Yeah. Sorry I let her get the better of me like that. I didn't… I mean, I didn't know."
Levi shook his head. "None of us did. Don't beat yourself up over it, if you can manage that for once. We decided we're just going to keep moving on for Shiganshina. There's no use chasing after her, at this point."
His gaze dropped to Mikasa, who sat up quickly, reaching for Eren's arm subconsciously. But Levi seemed unperturbed. He turned for the doorway, motioning for Hange to follow him and tossing a smirk over his shoulder at them.
"Keep it above the belt kids. The last thing we need right now is another baby underfoot."
"But we didn't-"
The door shut. Mikasa turned to Eren to find his face as bright red as hers felt.
"Asshole," he muttered at the closed door under his breath.
Mikasa let out a small groan. "I'm so sorry."
But Eren turned to fix her with his disarmingly intense gaze and tangled a hand in her hair, sweeping their lips together and causing Mikasa's heart to stop for a few seconds until he broke away again and she was fighting for breath.
"You don't have anything to be sorry about," he murmured, his gorgeous smile starting to dance across his face again.
Mikasa felt the corners of her mouth lift too, unable to resist his contagious energy.
"So… think there's any way we can arrange just staying here forever and never leaving?"
Eren put his arms around her and leaned back, pulling her with him so they were lying down, staring up at the ceiling.
"I mean… I don't see why not."
Mikasa laughed, snuggling deeper into his arms, as they fell silent for a minute.
"I think we have a basement to open," she whispered into the quiet.
"And Titans to fight," Eren added.
"We should get up."
"Just one more minute."
"Okay."
But eventually, their two pairs of feet hit the solid ground again, their gear was buckled back up, their jackets were slung back over their shoulders, their boots slid on firmly.
"Ready?" Mikasa asked, facing the door.
Eren took her hand.
"Now I am."
And then they opened the door to step into the sun.
Off in the fields nearby, Ymir and Krista managed to steal another moment for themselves as the rest of the squad got packed up, preparing to leave for the day. Excitement at their close proximity to Shiganshina was running high in the air, especially since Eren had woken up.
"Oh did you see how cute that was they were holding hands and everything!" Krista was exclaiming, dancing around the field as Ymir followed behind her, rolling her eyes but unable to hide a smile at how cute the tiny blonde was.
"Why do you care so much anyway?"
"They're our friends! Weren't you sick of the fighting? They were both so miserable."
Ymir shrugged. "I didn't really notice, I guess."
"Well, whatever, I'm happy about it."
Ymir's eyes lingered on Krista, still far ahead of her, but now her smile faltered. For the thousandth time that voice was whispering from the back of her mind: tell her…
It had been getting louder since Mikasa had found out about Eren. Mikasa hadn't been mad about that so maybe… maybe there was a chance Krista would be okay with it too. But there was a lot more to it than that in her case, she reminded herself. She was keeping more secrets than probably anyone else on the squad. How the hell was Krista- was anyone really- supposed to take it if she told the truth?
Oh by the way, I actually already know what the Titans are and where they came from and why and I'm actually one myself along too. Also Krista I know who you really are and what your destiny is and by the way your real name is-
"Hey guys come back! We're almost ready to leave!"
Jean's voice floated through the trees toward them, and Ymir saw him standing back at the end of the path, waving his arms at them.
"Coming!" she called back. Krista skipped up to fall in place next to her as they walked back.
"You've been kinda quiet recently, is something up?"
Tell her!
But no, it was too much. Too much had built up.
"It's nothing, don't worry about it," she tried to smile nonchalantly, slinging an arm over Krista's shoulders. "It's just so crazy we're this close to Shiganshina, you know? The others haven't shut up about that place for years!"
"I know what you mean. I hope… well, I hope that maybe there will be some answers for me there too. I don't know why there would be, but I could use some from somewhere."
Ymir's heart sank.
"Yeah, maybe," she said finally. "You never know!"
"I'm glad you'll be there with me."
Krista beamed up at her and Ymir forced a smile back, trying to look genuine and not reveal how her heart now felt like it was shattering in her chest.
"Me too."
Mikasa and Sasha went together to go refill their 3-D maneuvering at the nearby stream later as everyone was packing up and getting ready to go, and as they walked along the path, Mikasa caught Sasha smirking at her.
"What?" she asked.
"Well…?" Sasha's grin grew.
"Well what?"
"You and Eren!"
"Nothing… happened…"
"But you're together now?"
Mikasa felt her heart lift at Sasha's words and she couldn't help but smile a little. "Yes."
"Oh thank goodness. You guys were being ridiculous."
"Hey!"
"Well you were!"
They knelt down at the edge of the stream to deposit their gear, letting the water run in to fill the tanks.
"Actually… okay can I talk to you about something?" Mikasa blurted out before she could stop herself.
"Sure, shoot!"
"Are you sure? Just let me know if it gets a little… heavy."
"Mikasa I don't know if you noticed, but we're friends now. You can tell me stuff."
"Okay, it's just last night…" she trailed off for a minute, collecting herself while she felt her face flush again. "Nothing happened. But things started to take a turn in that direction. And I just… I was with him but then all the sudden it reminded me of where I was before and I kind of froze up."
"That… sounds completely normal to me."
"It does?"
"Mikasa you went through some serious stuff. It would almost be weird if you didn't have this kind of reaction."
"But I don't want that kind of reaction! I'm done with that place. They shouldn't be able to control me anymore."
"So it's probably something you can work through. You've been strong about everything else so far, way stronger than I would have been if I were you, honestly, so if you've got the willpower to do this then I think you can."
"Yeah…"
"Do you want that with him? Like past just reclaiming your freedom and everything, is this something you really want to do for yourself?"
Mikasa thought of the night before. The way he'd looked at her like he was drinking her in and couldn't get enough, the intensity of his gaze making her forget to breathe. The way he'd pulled her into him, his lips against hers, making her dizzy in the best way. His arms encircling her, the feel of his weight on her…
"Yes," she finally managed to get out in answer to Sasha's question. But it came out at a hoarse whisper so she cleared her throat quickly to repeat, "Yes."
Sasha nodded. "Okay so just relax and don't worry yourself about it. When you're ready, you'll know."
"Thanks, Sasha. Also, if you could refrain from telling the others about this…?"
Sasha put an arm around her playfully as they both started back down the path in the direction of the others. "Thought hadn't even crossed my mind! That's what friends are for, Mikasa. I'm here any time."
A warm feeling of comfort washed over Mikasa at Sasha's words. Next to her, the other girl started to go on about something silly Connie had done at dinner the night before and Mikasa started to laugh, and suddenly she realized she was happy. Happy that she'd made such kind new friends. Happy that she was out of the dark and that the boy who'd offered her the way out was now waiting for her back at camp with a smile bright enough to keep it away forever. Happy that she finally had somewhere she really belonged.
Happiness was so fleeting and fragile in this world she'd re-joined.
Might as well savor it.
The Survey Corps rode out that day still high on the excitement of being so close to Shiganshina. No one seemed that worried about the absence of Titans anymore, rather everyone was hoping that they would continue to be missing long enough for them to get there, especially because the next stretch of their journey would require them to venture away from the safety of trees and into open air.
The sun shone in the sky void of clouds, the air was cool and stimulating on the faces of the soldiers, and the day seemed so full of promise that at first, no one noticed the ground shaking. The thundering of horse hooves overpowered it. It was Jean who gave the shout no one wanted to hear:
"Incoming! Titans in the West! We've got Titans!"
Everyone's gaze turned to follow Jean's outstretched arm, and a collective chill went up the spines of the Survey Corps.
"Motherfucker," Levi muttered, only loud enough for Erwin riding next to him to hear. "So that's where they've all been."
"What do we do?" Connie called. "I can't tell how many of them there are."
"Keep riding," Levi called back. "We keep trying to cover ground. When they get here, we fight."
"They're coming in fast!" Eren shouted from his spot in the center of the formation. "We don't have much time."
Their twisted faces were becoming visible now: the blank stares, the grotesque leers, the unyielding bloodlust. It was becoming increasingly obvious that the Corps had no chance of getting to Shiganshina before they'd have to stop and fight. Levi pulled his horse around to face the others, causing them to fall back.
"Okay squad, this is it. Adjust positions. Don't get eaten. I need all you guys in top shape to get to that basement!"
"Yes sir!"
"Fight!" Levi yelled, and everyone charged forward at once.
Mikasa's heart was in her throat as she raced head on at the awful creatures. She could feel the fear threatening to take her over again, paralyze her into not following her instincts, but then she glanced to the side at Eren.
His eyes were on fire, a look of pure, unfiltered rage lit up his face like a flash of lightning slashing through the night sky. He looked like he wanted nothing more than to hurl himself straight into the fray, swords flying with reckless abandon, swinging true to kill as many Titans as he possibly could. The words Armin had spoken to her weeks ago came floating back through her head:
His daredevil ways are going to get him killed someday…
"Eren!" Mikasa blurted out, new panic starting to rise in her chest. But at the sound of her voice, he blinked, the rage sliding away, and turned to meet her eyes. He didn't say anything, he just smiled. But that was enough.
Mikasa felt the tightness gripping at her lift again and with it went the fear that had been starting to set in before. There was no time for any of that. Not when she had so much to protect.
The Titans were still a few feet away, but Mikasa was done waiting. And so, it appeared, were some of the others. 3-D gear shot out at the oncoming forms, followed quickly by tan and green blurs of soldiers. Mikasa swung carefully around the reaching hands of a monster right in front of her and landed squarely on its back, wasting no time in cutting it right at the neck with a quick swipe of her sword. It went crashing to the ground but she was already moving for the next, avoiding more disgusting, reaching fingers to bring that one down too.
She didn't stop to think, didn't stop to let the reality of the situation sink in, she was like a machine; all emotions were off, all doubt and worry were off. That same primal instinct that had driven her when she'd stabbed her captors had returned, coursing through her veins, driving her swords to fly faster, harder. She was like a deadly machine built only for survival.
The only way to win is to fight.
Fight… and live.
But Mikasa's violent haze came to an abrupt halt when a shout came from the midst of the fray.
"Eren! They've got Eren!"
Mikasa whirled around from where she'd been perched on the shoulder of the Titan, about to make the move for the kill. Armin was pointing off into the distance where a particularly nasty-looking Titan was gripping a bloody and unconscious Eren in its grossly elongated fingers and running off in the same direction from which the Titans had come. A block of ice slowly started to encase Mikasa's insides, the world around her going silent as it bottomed out from beneath her.
But the battle hadn't stopped, and her hesitation was almost too much.
The Titan she'd been perched on had gotten wise, and it almost caught her as it reached back for her. But another green blur was there spinning in front of her before she could even blink, and Levi was making the kill blow, bringing them both down safely to the ground. Levi was immediately back on his feet, shielding Mikasa as more Titans advanced in on them.
"Go get him!" Levi shouted at her, preparing to spring back into the air.
"I-"
"GO!"
And he leapt up to take down the Titans in front of them, clearing her way forward. It was like a shock went through Mikasa then, waking her back up.
There was still a chance. There had to be.
She was off in seconds, running across the field straight for the trees where the Titan had disappeared with Eren. They couldn't have gotten far. The ugly thing had left a trail of broken branches and fallen leaves where it had attempted to maneuver its way through the trees, causing Mikasa to smirk coldly as she flew through the air.
Stupid bastard. All the better for me. I'm going to pry him back from your filthy hands when I slice you limb from limb.
Meanwhile, the Survey Corps was fighting with everything they had, but no one was sure if it was enough. For every Titan they each slayed, it felt like another was right there to take its place. Levi was a blur on the battlefield, Erwin a force of nature all his own, Hange's manic smile was fueled by fury as her blades flew. What was left of the 104th training regiment fought with a frustration that could only come from being forced out of action for four long years.
Most of their bodies reverted to battle mode as though they'd never left, but the memory of how terrifying their foes really were came back as well.
Desperation only went so far. Even as the numbers of Titans dwindled, the Corps was beginning to wear thin on energy as well. There were no more signs of Mikasa and Eren either, since they'd disappeared into the forest beyond.
"Keep fighting!" Erwin's voice rang out. "We've almost got them!"
But even as he spoke, he was knocked to the ground by a Titan that had grown wise and decided to attack him from behind. He was immediately back on his feet, but ground level against a Titan without a horse was a huge disadvantage. Levi immediately began trying to make his way through the fray in the fallen Commander's direction.
Meanwhile, Sasha and Connie were tag-teaming Titans the best they could, working seamlessly together. Connie would keep the Titans' hands preoccupied while Sasha swung around back to make the laceration at the neck. However, it wasn't long before a Titan sensed the trap and snatched Sasha from mid-air as she was drawing her sword.
"Sasha!" Connie yelled in anguish.
But from across the battlefield, his cries were joined by another name.
"Krista!"
Ymir was screaming her girlfriend's name, but Krista knelt on the ground helplessly, a giant quickly advancing towards her. She'd burned too much fuel until she'd run out, and they were nowhere near the stream anymore. It was like everything went into slow motion then. Ymir finished off her own Titan and went running towards Krista but it was too late. The monster was already picking her up, struggling in its grip, lifting her into its open mouth.
"No!" the shout tore from Ymir, and lightning was striking again.
Ymir's Titan form rose high into the air.
Mikasa finally caught sight of the Titan carrying Eren through the trees up ahead, still moving fast. But she could move faster. She threw a flip into her momentum to give herself an extra burst of speed, the thought of getting Eren back safely in her arms all-invasive with every action. Finally, the Titan was close again, so close she could almost reach…
"Give… him… BACK!"
She flung herself forward, landing squarely on its back. Almost immediately, it began reaching for her too, attempting to close her into the same death grip it had Eren in. With catlike reflexes, Mikasa dodged and swiped at the arm holding him, her aim hitting true. The arm fell to the ground, Eren still visibly unconscious in its grip. But Mikasa couldn't feel any sort of relief yet. The Titan roared, catching Mikasa directly in its blank stare, the arm already starting to reform below. Whether it was feeling pain at its arm being cut off or anger at Mikasa for doing the cutting or annoyance that she'd deprived it of its victim… or whether it was feeling nothing at all… it was all lost in that terrifyingly passive gaze.
What are you? Mikasa couldn't help but wonder, but there was no time for pity as she made the same powerful incision she'd made so many times already that day for a final time. The Titan went falling to the ground, but Mikasa's body gave out on her on the way down and she went crashing with it, just barely managing to roll out of the way in time.
She lay there for a second, catching her breath. Every muscle ached, and a few places around her body smarted with minor injuries she hadn't felt herself get, but she knew she couldn't lie there for long. She pulled herself back to her feet, looking around desperately for the place where the Titan's arm had landed.
"Eren!" she croaked out. Then louder, "EREN!"
Mikasa's heart jumped slightly at the sound of a small groan a few feet away, and finally she could see that it was a pile of Titan innards that was quickly dissipating with a rush of steam.
"Mikasa?"
It was quiet. But it was there.
"Eren!"
Her pace picked up, because she could see him now. Covered in grime and dirt, but alive, slowly blinking those beautiful eyes open and trying to lift his head at the sound of her voice.
"Eren, stay down! It's okay, I've got you!"
Mikasa fell to her knees, pulling his head into her lap.
"Mikasa," a smile ghosted his face and he reached up an arm weakly, as though trying to touch her face, though it fell almost immediately back to the ground. "You're here."
"Shhh," she stroked his hair back, putting her hand in his to keep him from trying to lift it again. "Yes, I'm here. You're safe now."
She watched him slip out of consciousness again.
Back on the open battlefield, Levi was landing gracefully from taking down the final Titan still standing. Many others had retreated, and many more had been slain by the unrelenting Corps. But they hadn't been left unscathed.
The ground was spattered with almost just as much human blood as it was with Titan remnants. A few cries were starting to ring out through the air, growing heavy as the sun sank lower and lower in the sky.
As the last of his adrenaline left him, the full reality now facing them hit, and Levi sank to his knees before what was left of his second squad.
A/N: I'm SO happy I finally got to write this chapter. I've had it planned for a very long time. Thank you so much for reading! I'll be back soon with the next chapter. Until then, let me know what you think! x)