Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Please don't try any of this at home. And if my OCs wander into your story, give them a bop on the nose and send them back here.

The Kobold Necromancer's Warning - Seems you all like jeeps as much as Rodney, and hybrids as much as Bridgette. Vote for your favorite vehicle if you haven't already.

Also, I'd like to add that, if I'm not updating every other day, you people won't stop asking me! I do have a life! (Well, not really, but if I say so, I might convince myself one day too.)

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Chapter 6 - Death (or Close To It) Race

(Janitor's Closet - Right Off the Bat!)

Chris Maclean - "After some instructions from Chef to the teams driving the big vehicles, the crowd cheered as our contestants drove out of the stadium. They headed off on their way to the rest stop, in hopes of being there before they were forced to sleep out in their cars.

"Originally, we thought of filming this from the outside, like a real race. But we figured most people want to see inside the cars, where the real action and drama is! So with the help of several hidden cameras inside every vehicle, we are able to see what goes on inside the cars, even the trunks! You never know..."

(Team 1 - Eva, Yoshi, Duncan, Xander; pink bug)

The four tough teenagers were all sitting quietly inside the small car. The car itself was not quiet, because Duncan put on some metal rock to try and help them all feel better about their current predicament. Yoshi had ended up driving due to losing the rock-paper-scissors games beforehand. Thus, the other three had sunk deep into their chairs, trying to hide themselves from view of the outside world.

If they had known cameras were inside the car, they wouldn't have bothered to shrink up. Still, either way, the four knew they'd never live down this humiliation.

"We're lucky the way there is mostly mountain range," Yoshi said to them, the first words in over an hour. "We could be stuck in rush hour in a city."

"And the air conditioning is good," Eva said with a shrug. "We could be sweltering in here."

"Good stereo," Duncan commented over the music, "better than my dad's car!"

"Not to mention we're making good time," Xander pointed out. "The mileage on this thing is a lot better than normal."

"And it's not pink inside!"

"Right!"

There was silence for a few seconds, then Eva groaned. "Oh, who are we kidding? This car sucks!"

The other three moaned in agreement. Yoshi hit the steering wheel in frustration. "Why don't we blow some of that money we were all given to give this thing a paint job?"

Xander, in the back, began to look through the map. Duncan shook his head, and commented, "I don't care what color it is, part of my manhood died just riding in this thing."

"Look, we can't just stop and get a paint job," Eva snapped. "As much as I loathe this thing, we want to get to that rest stop first."

"Why?" Xander asked as he looked at the map. "Everyone has to get there, it's not like it's a race there."

"Have you forgotten that only the first five teams get to sleep in the hotel there?"

"Oh. I had forgotten."

"I ain't sleeping in this pink piece of crap, especially with three guys," Eva snarled. "You three would probably try something when I sleep."

"Only if wanted every bone in our body broken," Duncan said with a chuckle. "Eva, you should know by now that no guy would ever try to do anything inappropriate to you."

"Well, I've seen a lot of inappropriate touching in this season, and I don't want any part of it."

"That's just Colin," Xander remarked as he struggled to fold the map; he never understood how refolding one could take so long. "And he's a dickweed."

The four shared a laugh, and continued on a subject they all could easily talk about: people they hated.

"You wouldn't believe how lousy of a roommate Zachary is," Yoshi exclaimed. "He whines about everything, but what I could say about him! He left his underwear from last night on the floor; second day here, and he's already making the room filthy!"

"Chef Hatchet's a giant jerk too," Xander remarked. "He thinks he's so tough, but he's mostly bark. I've fought against tougher guys in a bar, ones who've had a few."

"You go to bars?" Duncan asked. "You drink underage, dude?"

"Naw man, I hate booze. I just go there for the atmosphere."

"That how you got," Eva said, smirking at the biker guy, "that scar of yours?"

Xander traced said facial scar. "This? Nope, not from a bar fight, glad to say."

"I still loved how you two gave that asshole the what-for at breakfast today," Duncan said, bringing the conversation back to the original topic. "I really hate that loud, drill sergeant-wannabe."

"Speaking of wannabes, did you guys have the misfortune of talking to Jasmine?" Yoshi grumbled. "She wouldn't not repeating lines from plays she's in, and I'm sure she gets Shakespeare wrong too."

Xander chuckled. "How about Carol? I love blonds, but she's a human blur, bouncing off the walls like a pinball."

"And how about Courtney?" Eva said with a grin. "Boy, talk about an over inflated ego with a mouth to boot."

Silence took over the inside of the car, leaving Eva temporarily confused. "Oh yeah," she finally said, "you're still dating her, right Duncan?"

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Yoshi - "That one comment really killed the mood we had going. Pretty much a boring ride the way there."

Eva - "Okay, so I forgot that Duncan was dating Courtney. Kind of put my foot in my mouth there, but hell, I'm sure it won't come to bite me on the butt later."

Duncan - "Eva better watch her ass."

Xander - \He is stroking his facial scar, which appears to be a thinking tick.\ "I'm kind of surprised Chris didn't make it public how I got this, since everyone at school back home knows how. But hey, if he likes a mystery, I guess I can roll with that.

"Hey, they can't vote me off until they find out how I got it, right?" \He laughs, then shrugs.\ "Or not. Oh well."

(Team 9 - Anita, Harold, Cody, Rodney; jeep)

Harold was driving the jeep, being one of the only two with a license. Anita was the other one, and Rodney had a permit.

"So how'd you drive the car if your legs cannot reach the pedals, dude?" Harold was asking the young contestant.

"They gave me these really long platform shoes when I was in driving class at school, and I had to sit on a couple telephone books," he explained. "Said I was a really good driver, but until I was sixteen, I couldn't officially get a license. So I got a permit until then."

"Wish I had thought of that," Harold said. "If I had started driving at eight, I'd be an expert by now. Gosh, what an idiot I am."

"Don't be too hard on yourself, I only took it because of school regulations," Rodney said with a shrug. "So, um, can I drive next?"

"Nope."

"Aw, c'mon, I got my permit with me."

"But no platform shoes."

"Ah, touché," Rodney said with a chuckle. "So Harold, what do you plan to do if you win this season?"

"I think I'll get myself a real katana blade. Like a ninja's katana blade, that would be awesome!"

"Oh, because I think a samurai's katana blade would be cooler. Aren't those bigger?"

"Yes, but ninja katanas are sleeker, and you usually carry two."

As the two continued to talk about swords and how much they like them, Anita and Cody were talking in the back. Well actually, they weren't talking, because both were doing what most teenagers do when seated next to something they're attracted to: looking away from each other with a faint blush and desperately trying to think of something clever to say.

After about a half-hour of thinking out what to say to the other, Cody broke the ice with, "So, Anita... do you, um... like things?"

"Um, kind of," she replied, looking around and trying to wonder if 'things' had taken a new definition since last she checked slang. "Do you like... um, oranges?"
Inside, Anita was screaming at herself.

"Um, kind of," Cody, replied, wondering if 'oranges' had taken a new definition since he last checked slang.

Harold took looked back at them with a quirked eyebrow. Rodney was busy contemplating other weapons he could buy if he won the prize money.

"So, you know some of the new contestants pretty well now," Cody said, trying to bring back the conversation. "What are they like?"

"Well, Belinda is really neat, and some of the other contestants, the, um," she poked her fingers together, "ones that I didn't pick, some of them are really cool. You know Yoshi and Daisy?"

"The samurai guy and the gung-ho girl?" Harold asked.

"There's actually a lot of gung-ho girls this time around," Anita said with a chuckle. "But Daisy's the black girl with the flower pin in her hair; she's been flirting with Yoshi."

"Oh, yeah, there's a fun couple," Cody said. "Just like Krillin and Android 18."

Silence. Anita blinked at Cody and said, "Um, who and who?"

"From Dragonball Z. See, Krillin's this strong but short guy, and Android 18 is a cyborg created with incredible fighting potential."

"And they date?"

"Yeah, they get married and have a kid," Harold cut in. "But they never really showed when the two hooked up..."

"They have a kid?" Anita said. "A human with a robot?"

"No, she's not a robot," Cody tried to explain, but Rodney cut in.

"How do a human and cyborg have a kid?" he asked, looking confused.

Cody blanched. "Um..."

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Cody - "Great one, Cody! Bring up something that will make Anita think you're one of those perverted nerds AND confuse the poor kid! I'm really blowing it with her, and I thought I could do better." \He gives a feeble air guitar, as if to signify his failure.\

Anita - "I really blew it there with Cody. I made him feel like a dork over something that wasn't that big a deal. I know animés can be crazy, I love them! And yet I had to make him feel bad." \She sighs and knocks on her forehead.\

Harold - "Most DBZ fans make fun of Krillin, but I think they're just jealous that he married the hottest gal in the Dragonball series. Yeah, 18 could kick Bulma's ass any day." \He crosses his arms and smiles smugly.\ "I love a woman who can kick butt and has attitude. Why do you think I love Leshawna?"

Rodney - \tilting his head to the side, looking confused\ "So... where do cyborg babies come from?"

(Team 5 - Leshawna, Beth, Sakaki, Sebastian, Colin; monster truck)

"This is bull. I picked the car, I demand that I get to drive."

"No! You don't have a license, you don't get to drive! That's final, white boy!"

"At least don't let the scrawny asian girl drive! She's going almost half the speed limit!"

Leshawna and Sebastian, both in the back, flexed their fingers to keep their desire to punch Colin down. Sakaki whimpered as she clung to the driver's wheel, and Beth, next to her, looked at her sympathetically.

Neither of the short girls wanted to be in the front of the monster truck, but both were too scared of Colin sit in the back with him. Beth had changed her mind when she found out sitting in the front seat of the very large vehicle was a lot of fun!

"Pay him no heed," Leshawna said to Sakaki. "Just keep driving, you're doing fine."

"We're gonna lose at this rate," Colin grumbled. "And while I'm at it, why do I have to sit in-between you two?"

"Because we don't like you being behind a seat, in case you kick the back of it during the whole trip," Sebastian muttered. He was staring out the window, trying to ignore the bully and enjoy the scenery.

"It's crowded, especially with fat ass here," Colin growled, jerking his thumb at Leshawna.

Beth and Sakaki both flinched, and prayed silently they wouldn't be hit by any flying fists. Leshawna was already starting to hiss air through her teeth in fury.

"I got it," Sebastian said. He reached over to Colin's neck, and pinched one of his neck's nerves. The bully let out a "grkgg" and collapsed in his seat.

"You gotta teach me how to do that, my brother," Leshawna said, grinning at him.

"I never wanted to use it," he replied. "I vowed not to, because then I'd be tempted to use it in serious competition, and that wouldn't be fair."

"Seems reasonable for him," Beth spat out, then she gasped. "Was that too mean of me to say? I'm not really that bitter."

"Girlfriend, you don't have to apologize or anything," Leshawna said, then she elbowed the unconscious boy. "This creep here is an unreasonable creep."

"He's in his own world, that's for certain," Sebastian said casually.

The remaining conscious passengers of the monster truck were a mite confused by this comment, and Sakaki, oddly enough, was the first person to ask. "Wh-wh-what does that mean?" she asked, very soft.

"It's a philosophy of mine," he said. "See, everyone has their own opinion on the view of the world, what's right and what is wrong."

"Some more strongly than others," Leshawna remarked.

"Exactly. Though a lot of people, and most of the time subconsciously, judge people by their own point of view. You know how some people call you crazy for what type of music or movie you like?"

"Oh yeah," Beth said, nodding her head. "A lot of people at school say I'm weird for liking pigs, you know?"

"See, that's the type of judgment people cast on you. They don't like pigs, and since they don't like them, they cannot understand why you like them. Therefore, they think something must be wrong with you or your opinion."

"Rather harsh, brother," Leshawna commented.

"It goes with everything people feel about, mostly what they are passionate about," Sebastian continued. "Politics, religion, video game consoles, their favorite TV shows or music, right down to how they feel about other people. Like you and Heather, Leshawna."

"What's that mean?"

"You and Heather don't see eye to eye because you both have strong feelings about issues. How you feel about the morals of competition, about clothing and authority, about Gwen. She cannot understand why you like Gwen, and thus thinks you're wrong because of it."

Beth raised her hand timidly, though it was hard for Sebastian to see since the farm girl was really short in the giant chair of the monster truck. "But... but Heather doesn't like Gwen because she's so different from her. Or is it something else?"

"That's another part about being in her own world. Heather cannot understand why Gwen looks how she does, why she acts, and well, pretty much everything about her," Sebastian added. "Gwen cannot understand how Heather acts the way she does, and thus both react angrily towards each other because their beliefs conflict."

"Gwen has the right to be mad at her," Leshawna countered, "because of the crap Heather puts her through."

"Debatable, and heck, I have to agree from my point of view," he said with a chuckle. "But see, that's how Heather's in a world of her own, and she doesn't believe what she is doing is wrong."

"But she does a lot of mean things, how can she not think they're wrong?" Beth declared. "She read Gwen's diary, she insults her, she tried to make it look like Trent was cheating on her."

"No one believes they're wrong, Beth," Sebastian said. "Not Heather, not Colin, not you or me. If they knew what they were doing was wrong, there would be guilt and denial, like whenever you've ever done something wrong."

"I don't see how," Beth said, drumming her fingers together. "Those are just some things I cannot see how anyone could find acceptable."

"And that's how you are in a world of your own, Beth my dear," he said. "It's not a bad thing, it's just my take on the world."

Colin moaned in his unconscious state, slowly rising his head. Leshawna smacked him on the back of his noggin, keeping him down. Sebastian smiled at her appreciatively.

"Sakaki hon," the sister said, "I know it's a big vehicle and all, but you really should speed it up. We don't want to have to sleep in the same car as this creep."

The moe nodded, but very slightly. She was deep in thought, which was why their car was going so slow, butterflies were cutting them off.

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Sakaki - \tapping her chin, then smiling at the camera\ "Sebastian is... really smart. I mean, I know a lot of people might not agree with that philosophy, but my dad always said that's philosophy for you!" \She blushes and digs her toe into the ground.\

Colin - "I want to drive that monster truck, damn it! I wanted to drive over small cars like speed bumps!"

Leshawna - "Sebastian's a pretty cool brother. Wonder if he was trying to impress a certain asian sister..." \She chuckles, and wiggles her eyebrows.\

Beth - "I never thought I was being subconsciously close-minded! Philosophy is scary, my mum said that when she took philosophy in college, she at one point was convinced she didn't exist! I don't wanna think that... but Sebastian probably does believe he exists."

Sebastian - "The funny thing about my 'world of your own' philosophy is that people can debate whether it's true or not. And that actually proves everyone does have their own center of beliefs!" \He pushes his glasses up, and smiles.\ "Think about it, won't you? Thank you."

(Team 8 - Belinda, Geoff, Joel, Courtney, Daisy; hummer)

"Yeah you," Geoff and Daisy were scream-singing, "shook me a-aaaaall ni-iiiiiiight lo-oooooong!"

Courtney had her hands over her ears, pushing so hard she hurt herself. "Turn it down," she was shrieking.

Joel was oblivious to the singing and yelling, as he was having too much fun driving the giant car. Belinda, sitting alone in the back seat, looked as calm and mellow as someone attending a jazz concert.

When Courtney reached over and turned off the radio, both Geoff and Daisy protested. "C'mon, Court," Geoff whined. "This thing has such a killer stereo!"

"It's much better than the pitiful sound system in my mom's car," Daisy agreed. "She's got one that if you turn the volume all the way up, even metal songs sound like they're being whispered."

"Just because you two like damaging your ear drums doesn't mean the rest of us do," Courtney snapped.

"WHAT?!" Joel asked, shouting rather loudly.

"Can't hear you back here," Belinda called out.

Courtney groaned and shook her head. "Look, we should all stay calm and just either talk, or enjoy the road trip. It's not every day you get a good view of the mountain road."

Talking didn't do so well. Daisy wanted to talk about sports, but only Geoff had any interest in them. Joel tried to discuss how he planned to make the car go faster, and no one could understand what he was saying. Courtney tried to discuss her career choices after high school, and Daisy fake-snored loudly.

"Boring," the tomboy shouted, much to Courtney's chagrin. "Tell us about how things are going between you and Duncan!"

Courtney flushed and turned away. "Nothing's going on between us."

"I bet you got a picture of him in your roo-oooooom," Daisy continued, crooning out the words.

"You were all over him last season," Geoff added with a chuckle.

"I had to fix a couple chairs at Playa des Losers," Joel piped in, "because you two would get so into making out that you'd lean back and break the back of them."

"You blush and stammer whenever anyone mentions your relationship," Belinda said.

"Okay, okay, okay," Courtney shouted, covering her cheeks and shaking her head. "I get your point. Can we please change the subject?"

"Naw, I like talking about your love life," Daisy said with a sly grin.

"Well, to change the subject," Geoff said, smiling at Courtney, "what do you guys think? Will we win this challenge?"

"Undoubtedly," said Belinda in the back.

The three other passengers looked back at her, Joel viewing her through the mirror. "You know already?" he asked her.

" 'Know'? No, I cannot say a hundred percent sure, but I have a good feeling."

"You really think we'll be first place?" Courtney asked, sounding a bit dubious.

"Not first place, no. But we have a seven in nine chance of winning, and I believe our team will do well enough to be in this margin."

The other continued to stare at Belinda, who merely smiled back at them. "Want to know how well your boyfriend might do, Courtney?"

The CIT groaned, and turned the radio back on. Geoff and Daisy cheered, pumping their fists in the air and singing along with the next song.

"I'm wanted, wa-aaaaaaaanted! Dead or ali-iiiiiiiiive!"

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Courtney - \indignantly\ "Why is everyone always wants to talk about my relationship with Duncan? Isn't there anything else about me that they want to know?" \She sighs, then shrugs.\ "Well, guess it's better than them holding a grudge against me."

Daisy - "Miss CIT is fun to tease, but when she begins to open her mouth more, she gets on my nerves. Still, I can think of worse people than her. Like Eva; I'd hate to have her on my lacrosse team. She's mean as hell, a terrible sport, and she hates Bridgette. Or did that change during the second season?"

Belinda - \She is casually staring at the camera, her hands in her jacket pocket.\ "I actually didn't want to make predictions until the second half of the race. But still, the odds are in our favor. Also in favor of someone whom I want to win too."

Geoff - "A lot of people asked me if I hated Courtney for what she did to me last season. Dudes, life is too short to hate people. I mean, if she hurt one of my brothers or Bridgette, then I'd really be mad, but I think it's all cool between her and me. Just so long as I don't get voted off third again, 'cha know?" \He laughs.\

Joel - "The first half seemed to go well, and I loved driving that baby. But we had to stop for gas several times, making detours. Man, that really lost us some time..."

\He pulls out a calculator, which is stained with oil and soot as well. He pushes a few buttons, then sighs.\ "Shame an awesome car has such poor mileage. My carts get more per gallon."

(Team 2 - Alfred, Bridgette, DJ, Crystal, Gwen, Trent; six seater)

Alfred was fast asleep in the back seat, leaning against the window. DJ and Crystal were also in the back. The blond Brit was talking to him about possible dates he could have among the contestants. She was talking passionately and excitedly, hyping DJ up; if he didn't have better will power, he might have accidentally asked her out.

Bridgette overheard parts of the conversation. She also overheard the names Daisy, Sadie, Eva, and Jasmine. She actually was interested in hearing more, because DJ was her friend and she was also interested in pairing the gentle giant up.

But Gwen and Trent's argument was too loud for her to join in.

"I told you we should have stopped at that last gas station," Gwen shouted at her boyfriend, "but no, you had to insist we keep going! We're under one-fourth a tank, genius, what do you propose we do if we run out on the mountain pass?"

"Gwen, stop it," Trent shouted right back. "You've made that point several times now, and I told you to tell me if there were any gas stations after that one!"

"I did, and I said we'd have to detour! You do know what 'detour' means, right Trent?"

"Don't patronize me. We're doing just fine, I don't need you to be criticizing my every turn."

"You guys, c'mon," Bridgette moaned, something she had repeated a lot of times. "Can we please not fight? I was so glad we had this team, because we're all friends."

"Well, except the male Izzy back there," Gwen said, jerking her thumb at said male.

"What's wrong with Alfred?" Trent snapped, still continuing an argument.

"Nothing, if you like suicidal maniacs!"

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Trent - "For the first half of that trip, Gwen was a total sourpuss. I don't know what her problem was, still don't. Maybe I'm failing as a boyfriend?" \He nervously drums his fingers together.\

Gwen - "Yeah, I'm a real bad side-seat driver. Mom usually has me sit in the back and have my brother in the side seat; she says I would be the strictest driver instructor. That's all that was bothering me, really."

DJ - "Crystal was really cool, telling me what girls would be nice as possibly girlfriends. Truth be told, I don't really need to hook up with someone, right? 'Cause then I'd be too busy thinking of if momma would approve, and not on the competition!

"Well, actually, it was pretty hard to think of the competition on the car ride there either way."

"Guys-"

"Why are you talking bad about Alfred? He isn't even awake to defend himself!"

"He's in the same damn car as me! What, does someone always need to be awake and in my face? Are those the rules of engagement?!"

"You don't have to be so sarcastic about it!"

"I want to be sarcastic, damn it!"

"Guys, guys, guys-"

"Bridgette, stay out of this, please!"

"Don't tell Bridgette what to do!"

"Why, because she's going to be your sister soon? And why didn't you tell me about that?"

"It slipped my mind!"

"I'm your freaking girlfriend! If your father's engaged and you're getting a sister, who else do you tell first?"

"I didn't tell anyone, I was too excited overall and-"

"Trent, watch out for that EDGE!!"

The driving musician finally began to pay attention to the road, and turned right in time. The car scrapped against the railing of the mountain side, causing Bridgette, Crystal, and DJ to scream high-pitched, the surfer girl clinging to Gwen and vice versa.

Trent pulled hard on the wheel, still scrapping against the metal railing that really wouldn't help much if the car hit it. They plowed against the side of a dirt hill, then scrapped to a halt. The metal railing their car was against toppled over the side, falling a very great distance before hitting the ground; their vehicle was right on the side of the cliff.

Inside their vehicle, the only sound was terrified breathing. Trent clutched the steering wheel like a vice. Bridgette and Gwen were hugging each other tight, as were Crystal and DJ.

Alfred woke up with a snort. He smacked his lips, and noticed the car wasn't moving. "Oh, are we there now?" he asked. "Goody. Well, I'll get out and stretch my legs..."

He opened the door, only to see the ground was a couple thousand feet from his feet. With a whimper, he slammed the door shut and looked at the others in astonishment. "We're parked on the side of a cliff," he exclaimed.

Then he grinned. "We're parked on the side of a cliff," he repeated, this time happy. He opened the door again and leaned out. "HELLO, CANADA," he shouted into the mountain range. "I love you!"

Crystal and DJ yanked Alfred back into the car as the gonzo continued to shout, "Ricola! RIII-COLA!"

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Alfred - \laughing\ "Hehe, I always wanted to do that!"

Crystal - "Golly... shame Izzy's taken, eh what?" \She chuckles, then taps her chin.\ "Then again, I always thought it would be darling if she and Ezekiel were a couple. I like to call that couple 'Ezzy'! Hehe!"

Bridgette - "Next time... I drive!"

(Team 4 - Sadie, Katie, Clive, Noah; race car)

"This is so much fun to drive," Katie squealed happily. "I love how smooth the acceleration is!"

"Yeah, it's a shame we're up in these tall mountains, or we could seriously try how fast this baby can go," Sadie agreed.

"Oh, I think we should give her a name! That'd be, like, so cute!"

"Oh, totally cute! I say we name her Katie!"

"Aww, you'd name our race car after me!"

"Yeah! Or we could call her the Katie-Sadie Car! Or the Sadie-Katie Car, if that's okay?"

"Well, we can't leave Noah out. Noah, what do you want to call it?"

Katie had the bad sense to look back at Noah when she asked. Noah and Clive screamed, in higher pitch than Katie and Sadie ever got to, and pointed at the road desperately. Luckily, the sweet girl got the point, and casually looked forward again.

"Did you get that, Sadie?" she asked her best friend.

"No, I don't think it was an appropriate name either," Sadie said, tapping her chin in thought. "Unless of course, they want to name it the Squeal!"

"Ooo, I like that! Because of the wheels and such, it should be called the Squealer!"

Both girls squealed in joy, but Katie stopped and put her hand over her mouth. "I promised Noah not to do that around him," she explained to Sadie, "because it hurts his ears. Sorry, Noah!"

She said this while looking back at Noah to apologize, and both boys let out terrified shrieks and pointed at the road. Katie looked back at the road, then at Sadie questioningly. "What's up with them?" she asked.

"Oh, they're probably just so stoked to be in a real race car, and are admiring how fast we're going!"

"Death cannot come soon enough," Clive whimpered, his head in-between his knees, clutching his black hair. "I pray when we go sailing over the edge, defying gravity for a brief second, and when we hit the ground at high velocity, that my brains and internal organs don't ruin my clothes too much."

"I agree with you, emo boy," Noah cried out. "Katie, where did you learn to drive? And NO, don't look back at me when you answer that!!"

"I told you, my grandma taught me! Also, I took driver's ed at school."

"So you had professional help doing it as well," Noah grumbled. "Good, because you need professional help in fixing it."

"Oh, you're so funny," Katie said with a giggle.

"Say, Katie," Sadie said as her best friend continued to laugh. "Wasn't your grandma the driver's ed teacher at your school?"

"Oh yeah! So I did kind of repeat myself there, didn't I?"

"You so did!"

As the girls burst into a fit of giggles, Noah and Clive exchanged horrified looks. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Noah asked him.

"You mean somewhere in Canada, there is an entire district of people who drive like your girlfriend?"

"Yep. And then they'll breed, and eventually we'll all be killed by this generation."

"God save us all."

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Katie & Sadie - Sadie - "Wasn't it cute how Noah and Clive were starting to bond there?"

Katie - "Oh, totally! Noah doesn't have a lot of friends, it'd be great if he could make some while in this competition!"

Sadie - "Even if it is the emo."

Katie - "Well, maybe that'll cure his emo-ness!"

Katie & Sadie - "Yeah!"

Clive - "And people call me the suicidal one? She took her hands off the steering wheel to clap! Twice! I don't want my death to be that noisy, thank you!"

Noah - \tapping his chin\ "Maybe I should have let her pick the beetle."

(Team 7 - Carol, Owen, Justin, Arthur, Izzy; semi-truck)

Izzy giggled as she bobbed up and down in her seat. "I'm driving a truck," she sang, "driving a big ol' truck-"

"No, you're not," Carol said defiantly, "I'm driving!"

"Ah, touché! You win this battle, Carol, but the war is just beginning!"

"Well said, my active rival," the blond girl replied, grinning at her new friend. "But let me tell you, as an officer and a lady, I plan on winning this with honor and respect."

"I'll spit in your eye!"

"I tickle your armpits!"

"I'll tie your shoelaces together!"

"I'll sic' Groucho on you!"

"Oh no, you wouldn't!"

"Oh yes, I would!"

Both girls cackled, while Justin in the far seat rolled his eyes. He spent the time using the large rearview mirror to make corrections in his appearance; if Carol noticed he had moved it to that angle, she hadn't said anything yet.

"Don't forget to go slow around the mountain range," he said, looking over at Carol. "We don't need to get ourselves killed over a bed in the hotel."

"Says you," Izzy said, sticking her tongue out at Justin. "I prefer a bed, because the amount of time I've spent sleeping in trees and on concrete has taught me to appreciate a good pillow and mattress."

"We can always use some of the money to buy sleeping bags and camp out in the back," Carol suggested. "Though I don't approve of such an illegal action, that would be fun!"

"You're like an impossible mix of Courtney and Izzy, you know that?" Justin said with a chuckle. "No wonder a lot of people think you have a crush on Duncan."

"I do not," Carol shouted, going very red in the face.

"Don't tease her, that's my job," Izzy chided Justin. "Anyway, I have to agree with Carol's plan. We'll do that, and then we don't have to even stop at the rest stop."

"We have to. The rules, remember?" he said. "We have to check in at the rest stop, and are not allowed to leave until seven AM."

"Darn," Izzy said with a snap of her fingers. "So why do you think they call it Gloomy Gulch? Think it's a real bright and cheery place?"

"No, I think it's going to be gloomy," Justin muttered.

"That title sounds like something from a video game," Carol remarked. "Oh, speaking of video games, how are Donkey and Diddy?"

As Justin tried to make sense of this, Izzy picked up the radio and speaker. "How are you doing back there, Donkey and Diddy?"

"We're doing just fine," Owen's voice came back, very clear and happy.

"I never agreed to be nicknamed after a monkey," Arthur's angry voice could be heard in the back.

"Oh, just take it, you know you love it," Izzy chirped. "Owen, you're not having gas back there, are you?"

"No, Izzy!"

"Yeah, thank God for that," Arthur grumbled. "I think I'd suffocate if he let one."

"The pancakes we had for breakfast were perfect, and pancakes don't give me gas," Owen explained.

"Lucky you, Arthur," Izzy sang. "Sorry you had to lose that rock-paper-scissors game on who sat back there, but hey, no one can deny the power of nuclear explosion in rock-paper-scissors."

"That shouldn't have counted, and you know it, dam-"

Izzy cut off the radio, and chuckled. "Sounds like someone's bitter."

"Why didn't you want to be back there with your boyfriend, Izzy?" Justin asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"Hey, I love the big guy, but I know more than anyone how much he can smell."

"Maybe he should see a doctor?" Carol suggested.

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Justin - "Heh, 'doctor.' The only one who needs a doctor is Izzy, and by doctor, I mean psychotherapist. At least she's not on my case about me allegedly dating her, because I never did."

Arthur - "Being locked in the back of a semi with a gas-less Owen actually... wasn't that bad. The guy can talk your ear off, but at least he has some interesting stories. He also knows a few good jokes. Anyway, way better than being up front with those two crazy girls."

Izzy - "It's really true about Owen, the guy has a really bad smell habit. I think he should try swallowing an Odor-Eater, or maybe just some anti-gas pills. Maybe I'll make him swallow balloons, and he'll fart them inflated." \She cackles.\

Owen - "People complain about my smell, but I don't think it's so bad. Here, let me show you, I can stand it." \He begins to fart...\

Carol - \wearing a gas mask\ "I don't know what convinced Owen to stink up this room more than tear gas ever could, but all I know is I'm not doing any confessions without this on. I got it in case I ever join the marines or something, but I brought it in case I had to team up with Owen."

(Team 3 - Valerie, Ezekiel, Heather, Zachary; hybrid)

The competition headed well into the night. Whether this was part of Chris's master plan or not, it didn't matter, but many teams had several people nodding off.

In the hybrid team, two of those people were Ezekiel and Heather. The prairie boy had been driving the majority of the time, and now was asleep in the back. Heather was lying on his chest, gently hugging him in his slumber.

Zachary was watching out the window in boredom, Valerie at the wheel. He was tempted to talk, anything to deprive him of the quiet situation. She finally broke the ice.

"You know, this car doesn't suck as much as much as I thought it would," she admitted. "It runs really smooth. Still, nowhere near as good as my car."

"What's your car?" Zachary asked.

"Let's just say there are are houses that don't count as much," she said, rather proudly.

"Oh joy, you're a rich girl," he replied, rolling his eyes. "Why did you enter this competition if the cash prize is what daddy gives you on a whim?"

"Hey, my father doesn't give me money, I do my own work," she snapped. "Don't think of me as a rich witch like Sandra or Heather back there."

Zachary quickly glanced back at said rich girl, and grunted. "She didn't react. Guess she really is asleep."

"Okay."

"Can you believe she's seeing that white boy?" he continued. "I mean, seriously, I cannot think of a weirder couple."

"Both are pretty low in my point of view," she said with a shrug. "But Heather... man. Zachary, I have a little proposition."

"This going to be one of those alliance things I've heard about?" Zachary asked. "Why should I trust you? How do I know you ain't no racist?"

Valerie's educated mind screamed in agony over the double-negative. She mentally sighed, then continued. "Look, I'm a politician. My thoughts are always on the people."

"Even the little people, like us mistreated minorities?"

"That's why some people like me become politicians! Now c'mon, you don't like Heather, right?"

"Right."

"So all I'm saying is that if we lose this challenge, the two of us will vote for her, and we'll convince whoever lost this challenge too to help us."

"Think we can convince them?" he asked, curious now.

"Sure! No one likes Heather except for Ezekiel, and so we have it made."

"Do we really have to throw the challenge?"

"You really want to be victorious in this kind of car?"

"Better than the pink beetle."

Valerie sighed physically this time. "I like pink," she said defensively.

"Yeah, well, you're a white girl. You like this stuff instinctively."

She let out a strained grunt, something she tried to hold back. "Look, Zachary, let's just stay quiet for the rest of the trip, in case we accidentally wake up Heather."

"Fine."

Zachary went back to staring outside, pondering the new alliance, if it was that. Valerie drummed her fingers on the steering wheel, mentally debating working with the whiner. And in the back, Heather opened one eye and scowled.

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Heather - "I knew that Valerie was bad news. But if she thinks she can outsmart and outplay me, she has another thing coming. I'll make her pay for trying to mess with me, and Ezekiel; don't think I missed that comment about our relationship."

Zachary - "Crazy white girls fighting over who gets to be the lead..." \he laughs, then grins\ "I hope they wrestle for it!"

Ezekiel - "I'm worried a'boot Heather, eh. We've talked a'boot popularity and such, and I think it would be best if she avoids trying to one-up other girls."

Valerie - "Heather's time is up. Like a villain in a show only to be replaced with another, she has no power."

\She smirks, then that thought sinks in.\ "Wait, did I just give off the image that I'm the next villain in this show? Wait no, I didn't mean that! I'm good, really!"

(Team 6 - Howard, Jasmine, Hannah, Tyler, Lindsay, Mandy; small bus)

"So how many school plays have you been in?" Howard asked Jasmine.

"I think I lost count, since I started since first grade," she admitted. "But considering time and grades, I'd say about thirty."

"Rather impressive. You must love the stage."

"I'd like to do film much more," she admitted. "I mean, now that Leshawna is a full-fledged celebrity, I think I got my contacts made."

"Has Leshawna been approached by any agents?"

"No, not yet. At least, she hasn't been told me-"

"ENOUGH! Both of you," Mandy screeched. "I've had it with this bus ride! You two have been making shameless chitchat the whole way, while Lindsay and Tyler have been making shameless make out!"

"Still?" Howard asked, craning his neck over to the couple. When he saw they were kissing (or had been, Mandy's outburst startled them), he pumped his fists in the air. "Yes! I win! Jasmine, pay up!"

"Damn it all," she said with a sigh, fishing out her wallet. Giving him a dollar, she added, "Well, at least we didn't do five dollars like I suggested."

"Thank you, my dear," Howard said with a sly grin.

"Oh shut up," Mandy grumbled, "you don't have a prayer."

"What?" Howard asked, confused, as Mandy stomped up to the front.

"Yo, Jesus girl," the cultist girl snapped. "How much longer?"

Hannah, who was driving the bus, glanced back at her. "Not much further, if the directions Howard gave me are right."

"Why are you driving so slow?" Mandy continued to grumble. "I swear, I think a box turtle passed us a few minutes ago."

"It's a bus, hon, it doesn't go fast."

"You just had to pick this one, then!"

"We don't mind," Tyler shouted from the back, a very big smile on his lips (as well as a good deal of Lindsay's lipstick). "Even if we come in last place going there, we haven't lost."

"We might as well have," Mandy snapped. "Oh, I knew I should have made a sacrifice to Cthulhu before we started off. Or Yog-Sothoth, or Hastur, or Harvey the Wonder Hamster."

"Harvey the Wonder Hamster's not an Old God," Jasmine spoke up.

Mandy glared at her with fierce intensity. "You're lucky he slumbers in a split-level cave twenty miles below the surface of the Earth, or he'd come up and wreck a terrible vengeance on you!"

Jasmine, intimidated by Mandy's look, grabbed hold of Howard. When Mandy walked past them, she sighed in relief and let go of him. "Why must we have such a vicious creature on our team?" she asked him. "A fervent maw of hate and violence, a devil with platinum hair and a dagger by her side! Oh horrors above!"

She threw her hands up above her. "Save us from the demoness that threatens our sanity and our bodies!"

Howard grinned at her. "Not bad. You make that up all just now."

"Oh yeah, I did. Leshawna usually just tells me to quit being a drama queen, but I keep telling her, I can do more than drama."

"I believe that."

"Thank you! So, seriously though, why did we get the religious fanatics with us? Mandy and that other blond girl, um, what's her name again?"

"Hannah. Beats me, maybe Chris was hoping for religious fights."

"Why is she driving again? Can't you drive?"

"I'm pretty sure it'll be the same at the arena..."

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm not getting a hold on this," Howard fretted as he stepped off the bus. "Sorry ladies, but I can't drive this bus! It's just too complicated!"

"Oh horrors," Jasmine exclaimed, clasping her hands on her cheeks. "What shall we do? Woe is us, fated with a vehicle we cannot drive!"

"Bunch of wimps," Chef Hatchet grumbled as he stepped out of the bus too. "So if Striped Shirt cannot drive, who will?"

"I don't have my license yet," Tyler said with a shrug. Mandy admitted to the same thing.

"I really don't want to drive that," Lindsay whimpered, clinging to her boyfriend. "I might break a nail with those big levers and wheels!"

"One of you has to drive," Chef Hatchet barked. "I ain't going with you and holding your damn hand like momma taking her little boy to the prom!"

"Your mom had to hold your hand to the prom?" Mandy asked.

"SHUT UP!"

The remark was made, and now Mandy was on her back, kicking her feet up and laughing hysterically. The others were also laughing at the increasingly mad Chef.

"Excuse me, but what about me?"

The only non-laughing member of the group, Hannah, spoke up. They all looked at her as she rested a hand on her hip. "I have my license, and I'm sure I could drive this. May I?"

The other five and Chef exchanged glances, all looking worried or concerned. Hannah stood there blinking, wondering what on Earth could the hesitation be coming from.

"Guess we're stuck with Jesus girl," Jasmine said. "Um, I mean, Hannah."

"Yeah, well, it could be worse. I mean, I actually like sitting here, talking to you."

"Aw thanks, but I know you fancy that mysterious girl Belinda," Jasmine remarked. She bat her eyes and adopted a swooning pose. "You gots the hots for the psychic!"

"I gots the hots," Howard said. "What do you think, do I stand a chance?"

"I say, keep going at her! Girls like a guy who shows determination and interest! Make her swoon, make her want you!"

Jasmine's heated talk could be heard all over the bus, and it got both Tyler and Lindsay hot and bothered; they were making out again soon.
"I'll do it," Howard exclaimed. "Watch out, Belinda, here comes your future boyfriend!"

"Yay," Jasmine cheered.

"NOT A PRAYER," Mandy roared, popping up in the seat behind the two.

(Janitor's Closet, Post Race Recordings)

Howard - "Heh, I don't care what Mandy says, I have a prayer. Belinda just needs to get to know me, like how I've been talking to Jasmine and listening to her! Jasmine's pretty hot too, love that acting. I'm lucky, I've got so many hot girls on my team! ... Wait, I was talking about Belinda!" \ahem\ "I vow to impress Belinda by the fifth challenge!"

Tyler - "So... what was that bet that Jasmine and Howard made, huh?"

Lindsay - "Dad says Christians are really haughty, if that's the right word. I'm sure he didn't say naughty... but, um, back to my point. Hannah doesn't seem like that, but Mandy does. Is Dad thinking of the wrong religion? Or this 'Cthulhu' person just another name of God? I'm so confused... I hope I don't start losing my hair over all this, that'd be awful!"

(At Gloomy Gulch Rest Stop)

"Yay, we're here first," Rodney cheered as he leapt out of the jeep. "Harold, that shortcut you suggested worked beautifully! Great job!"

"Told ya. Never doubt me, my young friend!"

"Good thing too," Anita said, crossing her arms and shivering. "It's getting cold out here."

"Let's get one of those rooms then," Cody suggested, seeing the goose bumps forming on Anita's skin. He grinned at the sight, then quickly shook it off before she noticed. "I'm sure they are heated."

"They'd better be," Harold said as they walked to the hotel. "And I hope there are enough beds."

"You mean we might have to sleep with each other?" Anita asked. She looked over and smirked at Cody. "Care to?"

Cody always prided himself on keeping cool, being like one of the cool kids. In about two seconds, he was a stammering mess. Rodney watched him in confusion, trying to figure out what was so troublesome.

As they walked into the hotel, a bright pink eyesore (to some) pulled up. "Damn it," Eva shouted as she jumped out of the beetle. "She's here with Cody! I was hoping they'd lose!"

"Why?" Duncan asked. "Then she'd have to sleep in the car with him."

"Oh. Yeah, that is kind of worse," she admitted. "Anyway, we made good time. Excellent driving, Xander."

"Thank you, thank you," he said with a polite bow. "Now let's get a room."

"What a fine choice of words," Yoshi said with a chuckle.

It was about an hour before the next team showed up: the hybrid team. Valerie opened up the door and took a deep breath. "Ah, the air is wonderful here."

"It makes me sick," Zachary groaned as he stepped out of the car. "I prefer the city air."

"Ah, smoke and booze and puke. Yes, very relaxing," she commented as she walked over to the passenger door. She knocked until Heather and Ezekiel stirred. "Wake up, you two, we made it to the hotel."

"We get a room?" Heather asked as she rubbed her eyes; she was faking, she had been awake the whole time.

"We're third place, from the look of it."

"Good driving, eh," Ezekiel complimented as the couple stepped out.

"Yes, excellent work," Heather said, staring at Valerie with a sly smirk.

"I do my best to accomplish much," the pink-wearing politician replied, looking back at Heather with an equally sly smirk.

"Shall we head to the hotel then?" Heather asked, crossing her arms and never losing that smirk.

"Sure. Will we need only need three beds?"

"Oh, funny."

"I try."

As the two girls laughed very tight, forced laughs, Zachary and Ezekiel exchanged nervous looks; it was like watching a chemical reaction, just waiting for it to blow up.

The fourth team to arrive was the race car. Clive and Noah stepped out, looking like the Grim Reaper had chased them the whole way. Katie and Sadie skipped off to the hotel, completely oblivious to the boys' horror.

The fifth team to arrive and get a room in the hotel was...

...

...

...

...

...

... the monster truck.

"Thank God," Leshawna exclaimed as she climbed out. "I couldn't imagine sleeping in that truck for the night!"

"Like a bunk bed from hell," Sebastian agreed.

"I don't know if I'm going to get much sleep," Colin grumbled, cracking his neck. "For some reason, I feel like I already rested.

"Probably just how smooth the ride was?" Beth suggested, giggling nervously. Sakaki, as if sensing some rage, hid behind Sebastian.

The next teams to pull up were less than happy about the news, but some took the news better than others.

"We have to sleep in our car?" Courtney shouted.

"Awesome," Geoff cheered. "It's like a sleep-over party! I haven't had one of those in years."

"Looks like we were right to detour to get those sleeping bags," Carol said to her team. "Okay boys and girls, prepare to camp out in our semi! And boys, don't try anything dirty, because I know martial arts!"

Justin and Arthur were thinking nothing of the like, staring at her and Izzy as they wondered if the girls slept-walked or, worse, slept-attacked. Owen looked at his girlfriend with a naughty smile, and she coiled one of her orange bangs around her finger seductively.

"Now we can have you two talk about what is bothering you," Crystal said to Gwen and Trent. "And I won't let you sleep until you're satisfied, because going to bed angry at each other hurts a relationship."

The two exchanged glances, and sighed. "Fine," Gwen muttered.

"If you insist."

"Alfred dude," DJ was calling out to his American teammate, "are you serious? You going to sleep in the trunk?"

"Yeah! Always wanted to try it! Besides, not enough room in the trunk," he said as he took off his jacket and formed it into a pillow.

"It gets really cold in Canada, you know," Bridgette said to him. "You sure you going to be okay?"

"Sure! It's nice out! Gloomy Gulch is such a peaceful, cool place."

As Alfred crawled into the trunk, making jokes about being a "mob hit victim," the small bus pulled up last. "Oh man," Jasmine wailed, "we're here last!"

"Oh hells below," Mandy shouted, kicking the side of the bus. "That's pathetic! We have to sleep out here! In the bus!"

Hannah stepped out of the bus too. "I don't understand," she muttered. "I followed the directions. How did it take us so long?"

"You just had to pick the bus, didn't you?" Mandy snapped at Hannah, startling her. "This is all your fault!"

"You could have driven a little faster," Howard grumbled, looking at the hotel longfully.

"Oh the horrors," Jasmine exclaimed, grabbing her beret. "We're going to be sleeping in the bus, possibly molested in our sleep by savage men!"

"Tyler's too busy with Lindsay in there, and I'm no savage," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. "Unless that's what you want."

"Sorry hon, I'm too bitter to laugh now," she said, shooting Hannah a glare.

"We've so lost this contest, if this is how the challenge is going to go," Mandy grumbled, also glaring at Hannah. "By Ithaqua and Harvey, I hate this!"

(Janitor's Closet - The hotel's janitor closet!)

Jasmine - "Oh, the shock of it all! We are going to lose our second challenge! This'll be my second loss, and that is bad luck for me! This is all Hannah's fault! She's going down! ... Well, I mean, she's gonna lose, not literally go down. I'm not that mad at her."

Mandy - "I knew it! I knew that Christian girl would be our downfall! The only good Gods are the Old Gods! We are only halfway there, and we're in last place! We're doomed, doomed like the heretics who don't pray to Azathoth!"

Hannah - \exasperated\ "What am I doing wrong? I don't understand why they're so mad at me!" \She sighs and shakes her head.\ "Maybe I shouldn't have taken the bus."

--

--

--

Now that the race is half over, what will the second half be like? Who will win first, which two teams will be last place?

Will Gwen and Trent kiss and make up? Will Hannah's teammates forgive her for whatever it is she did? Will Noah and Clive be able to survive another ride?

And most importantly, are we getting paid for advertising these cars?

--

Next Up: Defying death, bad driving, and car work!