Chapter 22: Remaining Immovable

Alistair

The addition of Sister Letha to our party added unforeseen complications. We could not merely leave her behind. We were unsure of how she had managed to arrive in Cloughbark if she had escaped from the Templar stronghold in Swidden and she was in no shape to enlighten us. Leaving her with someone in a nearby village was also not an option, particularly if she was being searched for by the Templars. Returning to Herfirien before we could fetch Svenya was also not an option since she already had a head start and was walking into almost certain danger if she was caught. Our only option was to bring Sister Letha with us and hope for the best.

The first night we were worried that the Sister wouldn't make it. She had been shivering and quaking like one in a fever. Bruna managed to steep some tea that she brewed from wild herbs she discovered near camp and it counteracted some of the lyrium poisoning and helped to remove her from danger. I alternated with Bruna in taking turns sitting with the woman during the night. Ser Grey was willing to help, but the woman still seemed terrified of him. By the wee hours of the morning, the woman finally slept peacefully, the tea managed to cleanse the woman's system of most of the toxic remains of the lyrium.

Sister Letha and Bruna shared a horse since we did not trust her to ride one alone. Though, after the first evening of Bruna nursing and caring for her, the Chantry sister had calmed considerably but she still remained insensible; most of the time she looked around her like a lost toddler, eyes wide and taking in everything through a watery gaze. She often muttered to herself absently and hummed occasionally broken verses of old Chantry hymns that I could barely make out. She slowed our progress considerably, but I could not bring myself to be angry with her. If we had not found her the pitiful woman would have died of exposure in a matter of days.

After the second day of Sister Letha's presence Bruna informed us that we were over halfway to Cloughbark. My heart sank, realizing that we were far behind Svenya and Rian. I brooded by the fire that night as Bruna bustled about cooking and tending to our "holy charge." The Sister fell asleep early and Ser Grey also turned in early while I took first watch.

"You are troubled, your Majesty." Observed Bruna as she cleaned the pot she had been cooking with while the Sister issued soft snores.

"Are you not?" I inquired.

"Yes, but not for the same reasons that you are," she acted like she was scrubbing the pot, but I got the impression that she was carefully watching my responses. During our travels I had noticed that Svenya often did the same in the evening, disguising her scrutiny by feigning focus on a task being performed. It became obvious who she had learned the ability from.

Leaning back against a stump I looked at Bruna squarely before prodding, "Why are you troubled, Bruna?"

"Tonight she will walk in the Fade. I had believed that she would do it and all would be well…but now…" she hesitated, trying to guess my response before continuing.

"She had mentioned something of this practice during our journey to Herfirien. She shared that you had the ability to purposely walk in the Fade and that you had taught her this gift, though she made it a point to explain that she herself had never done it." I leaned forward, hoping my posture might encourage Bruna to unburden herself.

She nodded, "Mae learned how to walk the Fade from me. She seemed unusually drawn to the Fade in her dreams. There were a number of times I watched her in her dreams once I realized her gift, if only to watch over her and ensure that she would be safe initially."

"So demons are a concern, even if you sleep?" I asked.

Bruna tore her eyes from the pan and looked at me soberly, "There are more than demons in the Fade. Mages and the Chantry have spoken of them more often, but there are others. The Old Gods were denizens of the Fade before the Maker trapped them in the bodies of dragons and set them to hibernate in the low places. The Fade is the hunting ground of other things, things with long memories and little patience. Unlike demons have only one design, these other spirits follow their own devices that are more difficult to discern. They do not think as humans or demons."

Having been trained as a Templar, we were constantly warned about demons, but they never said anything about other spirits, except those that were vaguely alluded to in holy writ. Demons were a threat if they crossed into this world via the conduit of a mage and a possessed mage had to be eliminated at all costs. It was not possible to reverse a possession. The information that Bruna shared greatly troubled me. "What could these other spirits do?" I inquired.

"They can destroy or trap the mind of the dreamer. Why and for what purpose, I cannot say." She abjured from saying more.

"They would not take possession of the dreamer?" I continued to press, growing more concerned than I had been previously.

Shaking her head, Bruna concurred, "They could, but I do not believe that coming into our world interests them. What they would do to the dreamer, if the shock of having one's mind ripped apart did not instantly kill the dreamer's, the dreamer would awaken and be a Tranquil. Their Fade spirit would be dead, so they would no longer exist there. They would be half dead."

"You know of the Tranquil?" I probed, surprised that she knew what it was since there had been no Circle in the Cauldron, from what Svenya had explained.

"Being a Tranquil was a side effect of such attacks as I have explained. It was not common, but it was known to the Avvars as a risk of walking in the dream world. I suspect the practice of making a mage tranquil stemmed from a knowledge of this natural phenomena once other mages and the Chantry observed it and discovered a means to replicate it purposely rather than accidently." Bruna shivered slightly.

"You said that you entered Svenya's dreams when she started showing her abilities to walk in the fade. Is there a specific way to do this? Could you do this now? If you were to approach her in her dreams, perhaps you could convince her to turn back or wait for our help rather than rushing forward." I suggested this with the hopes of being able to reach Svenya and convince her to accept our aid so she and Rian would not be injured. If not, at least this could give us some indicator of where they were and if they were well.

After taking a breath and slowly blowing it out, Bruna confessed, "It is not that simple. Physical distance in the waking world hinders one's ability to communicate and meet in the Fade. If the desire is strong and the connection possessed with the dreamer were deep enough it might be possible to communicate slightly, but it is tricky and exhausting. If I had been able to do it I could have ministered to Mae's mother in Cloughbark from Herfirien. However, with our travel, we are closer…"

"Would it be possible for someone like me to do it?" I inquired this because I had been curious to return to the Fade myself since my most recent dreams. To be able to travel with purpose and not merely be ferried by the ebb and flow of the Fade seemed helpful. It might help me to come to terms with my own crisis.

"Why do you ask?" Bruna questioned, suspicious.

Seeing no reason to lie and feeling comfortable with her, I explained about my recent nocturnal visions. She was visibly intrigued by my descriptions and asked numerous questions, particularly about the women I had seen. When I would pause or become vague because of fuzzy memory, she would merely nod and wait patiently for me to continue. It was a relief to discharge some of my confusion with someone I felt would understand my reluctance and worry.

"You may not have the gift," Bruna assured me, "but your dreams confirm some things that I had been suspecting over the last year. It is not unusual for there to be places where the Veil between the Fade and the waking world is thin, but my concern has been that they seem to be spreading through the Cauldron recently. I am unaware of the cause, but it is having strange effects on the dreams of various people. It is obvious that it has had such an effect on you."

"So I would not be able to travel in the Fade as you do?" I queried, feeling discouraged.

"Alone, probably not," she narrowed her eyes and scratched her chin before continuing, "with a guide, however…"

With that Bruna pulled out her pack and began to rifle through it, withdrawing a couple of pouches constructed from thin, folded parchment. She gently poured the contents of the pouches into a small, battered metal kettle that she carried with her and filled it with water. Silently she considered the kettle as she waited for it to boil and I watched, unsure of what she intended to do.

When she discerned that the kettle was boiling she took out two cups and poured some of the brew into them, offering one to me, "Here!"

"What is it?" looking into the cup and cautiously sniffing the contents, I could vaguely conclude that it was some kind of tea, though the aroma was queer to my nostrils; not unpleasant but very pungent.

"You could go to Mae," she clarified, "I could serve as an anchor. Or were you only asking as a hypothetical question?"

Having a deeper sense of the dangers of the Fade, I should have refused or insisted that Bruna undertake this endeavor since she had experience. At the same time I was feeling very anxious for Svenya and frustrated that our progress in reaching her incessantly hindered. If I had a better concept of her safety, I would be less worried.

Casting a glance at Ser Grey, I opted to let him continue slumbering undisturbed. I already foresaw his response in my own mind. He would fiercely object to such a foolish idea and insist that I do nothing of the kind. Logically I could not argue with the concerns that I envisaged him raising, but I had a feeling…

"I trust you, Bruna." I consented and drained the cup in two swallows before she could respond.

The world around me became shiny and hazy at the edges and I felt myself listing to my left, falling from my crouching position by the fire onto my backside. Bruna rushed over to me and assisted me to my bedroll. On laying my head down, the world felt like it continued to undulate while I knew that I remained still. I blinked back some strange lights that flickered past my eyes that I thought were sparks being lifted up by the fire into the inkiness of the night before I could no longer open my eyes. I thought I heard Grey's voice as he was awakened by Bruna, but I could not decode their exchange. They sounded far away.

I opened my eyes again and all the sound was gone, the fire was gone, the camp with Sister Letha and Ser Grey was gone, but Bruna sat cross-legged not far away from me. Her gray hair rested in loose tresses around her shoulders and she wore a dark gray shift. Her hands rested open on her thighs and she stared at me expectantly, waiting. Carefully I got up onto my feet and approached her, kneeling on one knee before her.

"That tea is not meant to be swallowed that fast. I am surprised that you made it to your bunk at all. That brew could fell men twice your size." She chuckled with a grin.

Slightly embarrassed, I apologized and she shrugged, "I awoke Ser Grey for his turn at watch over the camp while we slept. It did not seem necessary to distress him, so I explained that you had been so agonized with worry for Mae and Rian that I gave you a tonic which made you sleepy and you could not keep awake long enough to wake him yourself. It is not a lie, but it glosses over some of the truth."

"Thank you, Bruna," I rejoined, "I doubt Ser Grey would approve of these actions."

"I quite agree. The man has enough anxiety: some earned, some borrowed. It is better this way." She settled further more. Now you will have to go quickly."

"You are not coming?" the realization caused me to choke slightly.

She shook her head solemnly, "I am your anchor. My connection with Mae was stronger when she was younger…now she is a grown woman, a different person. You know her better as she is now and will more easily find her. There is a tone to her that you can better recognize."

"A tone?"

She smiled, "If you remain still and quiet and picture Mae within, you will feel the tone. It is not sound or sight, it is just a deep feeling of the person's presence. It is a string, if you will, that ties you to that person: for good or ill."

Considering what she had told me, I carefully stilled myself and focused on Svenya, trying to draw her image in my mind. When I found the image, it was like it was accompanied by a sound. The sound resembled a tune that she had occasionally strummed on her lute. There had been words to the song and I had heard her intone them lightly with the music, though she had never done so loudly and I had not questioned about them. The words I did recollect were: "I have been the black swan so long…all I am is the shadow."

"Ah, that sounds…interesting…" Bruna muttered as I caught myself humming, then she continued, "Follow that tone. I must remain here to anchor you so that you can return to your sleeping self when your quest has concluded."

"How will I find you again?" I inquired.

She raised one of her hands from her lap and placed it over her heart, reciting:

"Guide the wayward heart,

Help the seeker to see,

Finding the true path

Drawing him back to me."

When she drew the hand back from her chest nestled in the palm was a shiny device with a floating arrow and a long chord. She smiled, "This is a compass. If you follow the arrow it will help you to find me." She gestured for me to lean forward and, when I complied, she put the device's chord around my neck, "Now go, I am unsure of how long I can remain in one place unnoticed."

"Are you sure you will be safe?" I asked, feeling nervous at the thought of leaving her defenseless.

"I am not as defenseless as you assume," she chided in response, as if she heard my thoughts. There was a twinkle in her eye when she spoke this.

"Good to know."

With that I took my leave of Bruna and tried to walk in the direction that Svenya's "tone" seemed to be tugging me, drawing me forward. Only after a few moments I turned around to look back at the direction from which I had come and it had been completely obscured by a soft, shrouding bank of mist. The rest of the landscape was stark and empty, unlike the time I had travelled through the woods before. Landmarks were near impossible to discern in the mist and what little I saw was brown: an endless kaleidoscope of brown shapes and tones in profusion. I realize that most of Thedas is brown if left uncultivated, but here the brown had practically produced its own spectrum where all other color was banished and forgotten. It was both disorienting and disturbing.

"Svenya, where are you?" I mumbled in consternation after wandering in one direction for what seemed like hours. If I attempted to stray from that direction, the "tone" seemed to jerk at me harder, attempting to keep me on task.

"You seek the one with the mask," came a croak of a question to my right, causing me to spin slightly in order to face the source of the question. A woman stood there with dark hair and a mottled gray cloak, she had appeared out of nowhere at my elbow and I jumped, reaching for my sword which was not strapped to my back.

"Do not be distressed," the woman soothed, "I mean no harm."

I remained wary, "Forgive me if I remain on my guard."

"That is wise," she conceded, "things can be more dangerous than initially perceived."

My brow furrowed as something appealed to my memory and I felt a twinge in my chest, "I know you…somehow…"

"You cannot truly know me," she insisted, her voice rasping slightly with the words, "but you mayhap recall me. We have conversed before."

"You were one of the women from the wood by the river. You guarded…part of me?"

She nodded, "Aye."

"You know whom I seek?"

Again she nodded, "Aye."

"Is she close by?" I queried.

"She is here seeking," she answered, "She has been seeking here many times. Now she has discerned a purpose for her search, but it is not her true purpose."

"What is her true purpose?" I questioned, intrigued.

"It is not meant for me to speak," she refused, "but it is a purpose she must discover."

I inclined my head slightly out of respect and acknowledged, "Thank you for your assistance. Be well."

"There is another that seeks her here." The woman added before I could escape.

"Why can this never be simple?" I inwardly groaned, "Who else seeks her?"

"It is a child of holy poison and corrupted light. Its essence is equal parts Fade and the waking world. It heard her tone from a distance and was drawn to it. Now it wishes to mimic and consume, worship and profane what has captivated it. It is equal parts love and hate, tenderness and violence."

"Damn, she was speaking plainly before, now we have been reduced to riddles," bemoaning the sudden change of the woman's speech, I tried to unravel her meaning and ended up in deeper confusion. "How can something be both of the Fade and the waking world?"

"The Veil has become thin. It crossed the border unintentionally and collided with what already dwelt here. The two became one and inseparable. The parts of what came before exist no longer." Her croaking voice became strained with what I assumed to be sadness. "The greed of men has led to a tainting of the innocent, corrupting what once was pure. It spreads in your world and now poisons this one as well."

"The greed of men?" I was roiling in confusion, "Human beings from my world have caused this."

She nodded, "Now the corruption stalks the one with the mask. She is like a light where the dim wish to dwell. She is a riddle to which there is no single answer."

"At least I can concur with that statement," I thought wryly, bowing my head again, "Is there some way I can help Svenya and protect her from the thing that is stalking her?"

"You cannot defend or be a shield here. You must remind her of who she is and remain immovable. She must take a stand and remember." She explained, backing away into the mist before disappearing.

"Immovable?" Another twinge in my heart and I rushed towards the source of the tone, towards Svenya. Something was after her and I could not allow her to face it alone. I no longer noted my surroundings, my focus was completely consumed by that faint tug, that melody, that essence of Svenya that drove me forward.

Suddenly, it felt as though I had hit a wall: physically I could move no further. My legs were frozen in place, stuck fast to the ground. I struggled vainly to move using the rest of my body, my heart strained in my chest as if it wanted to move forward and would fly from me if it could only break free. I placed a hand over my heart and tried to steady myself when I heard it:

"Trudge, woman, trudge. Your knights are not here to carry you. You must carry yourself."

The voice was Svenya's, though I could not see her, the mist was too thick. My heart continued to strain and I closed my eyes, willing myself to get to her. I was about to call her name and ask her to help me when a strange voice came out of the darkness as well.

"But they are here!" It was like no voice I had ever heard before. Closing my eyes I tried to do what I had done with Svenya's tone and really focused on the sound of the voice and it was as if everything snapped before my mind's eye and I could see what was being concealed by the mist. The vision that wavered in my head was monstrous. It was like a quilted doll given life, all scraps that it had collected. This sense wavered after a moment and seemed to superimpose a likeness similar to Svenya, but without a mask. It was a handsome, young woman, but the eyes were wrong and there were gaps, points where the seams did not completely come together and a dull blue light seeped through. I could almost sense her circling Svenya, watching her, examining her before stopping at a point behind her.

I also noticed a silvery string that reminded me of the silk created by giant spiders or one of the strings on Svenya's lute, except it too had a particular glow emanating from it. "What if I were to take them?" the voice suddenly came again, "Give them to me. What are they to you? You barely know them. Give me the burden you carry. It is such a heavy thing."

"No," this was Svenya's voice, ringing clear and certain.

The creature was visibly amused by this, "It would be easy if you just surrendered. Even if you do not give them to me, I will have them. I can take what I want."

"Take what? What are you threatening to take from her?" I muttered to myself anxiously.

"You can't have them. I won't let you take them." This was Svenya's answer, though her voice caught slightly at the end. She was trying to be brave, but inwardly she was frightened and my heart ached because she was unaware of me and I could do nothing to intervene.

"Silly girl, I already have a hold on them. One quick tug and they will be gone. If I pull there…." With that the patchwork entity grabbed the string attached to Svenya and gave a hard, vicious pull. I felt intense pain in my heart that stole my breath from my lungs and it occurred to me what the string actually was: it was the tone. It was my connection to Svenya and this monster was yanking it, tearing something within me.

Trying to focus beyond the pain, I could just make out Svenya absently gathering her end of the strand in her arms, unaware of how she was cradling it and keeping a strong hold. When she did this, the pain receded slightly and visions began to explode before my eyes of various times I had been with Svenya. Times when we laughed together, the time when we picked berries together in the woods, kneeling next to each other, the times when I walked up quietly behind her and she instinctively knew that it was me by the sound of my steps, the times when we sparred and I gently adjusted her arm to fix her stance. They were all there, swelling in my chest, clasping tight like iron ribs holding in my heart, maintaining our connection. Her voice commanded defiantly, "Let go!"

This caused the creature pause before it wheedled, ""Fine, what about the Red Knight? What about Ser Lion? I can settle for one of them."

"No," she spat the word like an arrow and the creature seemed less sure than before, but it was not about to give up and Svenya, sensing this, adjusted her stance to dig in her heels for the creature to make another pull.

"Little fool, you cannot stop me," the creature mocked as it made ready to yank at the string again.

"Nothing can be taken that you do not surrender," I shouted at Svenya, trying to encourage her. For a moment she seemed to look right at me, as if she could see me. My jaw felt tight and I gazed into her eyes, willing her to hold onto that string.

Svenya's eyes shone as she almost turned toward the monster and bragged, "You cannot have what they have given me. You cannot take what I do not hand you. They are anchored here. Go ahead and pull all you want. They will not budge and I will not be manipulated by you."

In response the creature gave a loud hiss and suddenly pulled at the silver string again, but this time I felt no give. There was no pain, no pressure, no tugging sensation within. I grinned to myself and purposely sat on the ground, as if trying to drive home the fact that I would not be removed. I was immovable. This was my place.

With that the creature threw down the string altogether and lunged at Svenya, knocking her to the ground. It tore at her face and her eyes and I struggled to get to my feet again and pulled at my legs to get them to move, shouting at that thing. Threatening, clawing at the ground, anything to get closer.

"This is not your fight, mortal." A booming voice observed, and I paused long enough to notice a very large grey wolf sitting on its haunches next to me, its muzzle towering well over my head. Green eyes bored into me, examining me closely.

My throat became tight, thinking this thing would attack Svenya I squared my shoulders and stared back at it, mustering all the courage an unarmed man has at his disposal and bellowed, "You will not harm her!"

"If I intended her harm, small man," the wolf intoned, amused, "what could you hope to do to stop me?"

Something thrummed inside my chest, my heart seemed to shudder suddenly and instantaneously armor transfigured around me and there was a sword in my grip. I was too consumed with my own sense of duty to Svenya and concern for her safety to stop and be impressed by what had transpired. The wolf, however, seemed to prick its ears forward and gave a low hum of approval. "Two wonders in so short a time. I thought to never see any of this like again. There is something to be said for you mortals, your hearts are stronger than your fragile bodies. Be at ease, Fade Knight, I mean no harm to your lady or to you."

I refused to lower my guard. Who in their right mind would? I continued to point my sword where I considered his heart to be.

"Yes, you have certainly impressed me, and I am not one easily impressed." The wolf concluded, nodding its sleek gray head to itself, "I serve no mortal, but in exchange for such a wonder I would willingly offer a boon. I shall defend your lady since you are not permitted by what binds you at this time. You must return now from whence you came and she must continue forward. Though you are parted here, you will be reunited again in the waking world soon. Now go, you shall not see me again."

With that the wolf bounded forward and past me, pouncing upon the creature that had been threatening Svenya and pinning it to the ground with its paws. Its jaws grinned and it began to speak something that I could not make out. The world was thinning around me and I felt the urgency of what the wolf had said within me. I had to return to Bruna and awaken. Glancing at the compass, I hurried in the direction it indicated, but the opening distance between Svenya and I caused something in my heart to burn and I had to reassure myself that we would meet again. For now she was safe.

In moments I found Bruna sitting much as I had left her, though I was startled that it took so little time to retrace my steps. She said not a word, but smiled at me and patted the ground next to her, indicating that I should lie down. As I stretched out upon the ground, the mist began to swirl and I felt like I was rising upwards on a whirlwind, faster and faster until I bolted upright, gasping for air.

Ser Grey stared at me from his side of the campfire while both Bruna and Sister Letha remained inert on their bedrolls, appearing to sleep comfortably. The fire crackled and I vaguely made out a strange croaking bird call in the distance.

"Did the tonic cause you nightmares?" asked Ser Grey, beginning to recline on his blankets again, assuming that I would take over the watch for the next couple of hours until dawn.

"No," I answered, "but I think there are some other things in this world that are producing them."