Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Please don't try any of this at home. Anyone trying to steal my characters will be used by Mandy as sacrifices to Cthulhu, buahaha.
The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - Seems like people really want me to continue this story. Well fine, I'll throw away all my other desires and dreams so that I can continue this.
A lot of people have been asking if they could use my characters. You could ask, but for the most part, it's rather soon. You all have barely met these weird people; cameos are fine.
Chapter 10 - Raging Raven-Eva
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(The Nerds)
"Right, let me get something straight with you all," Yoshi said, unsheathing his sword. He swung it around and pointed it for dramatic effect as he made the following speech.
"I really don't care to lose to the popular kids. I know the nerds last season, but that was a different level of fighting. Bottle rockets, dress-up, insults, and prom night? Baka, I say, baka!
"This is gonna be war, you hear me?" He clenched his fist, and pointed his sword tip at their faces. "I want you all to feel the fire in your hearts, the bloodlust on your mind! I want nineteen warriors by my side in this paintball war, and I want..."
Yoshi stopped when he saw how some of his teammates were acting. He let out a heavy sigh, and muttered, "I want some of you to stop hiding behind others from me."
Sakaki shivered behind Alfred. Beth nervously stepped out from behind Eva, and both Katie and Sadie peeped out from behind Noah (not really hiding that well, just trying). Yoshi shook his head, then pulled something out from his pocket.
"I have here an iPod full of songs by music artists that can all be used in combat, including some video games. If this kind of music cannot get you guys fired up, then do me a favor and shoot yourselves now."
"That's harsh," Noah remarked.
"That's war, bookworm," Yoshi hissed. "If you cannot bring yourself to shoot your opponent, even and especially one that is your friend, then you're just a quick meat shield.
"So that's why I want to pair up people with the killer edge with those who don't have it," Yoshi said, pulling out a small piece of paper which he had scribbled some notes on. "Beth, you're with me for the sheer purpose of balance."
"But I have the killer edge, I do," Beth complained. "I shot Heather so many times in TDI!"
"I doubt you could bring yourself to shoot your popular friends, or your boyfriend, so stick with me! Now then. Katie, Sadie, I want you two together."
"Can Noah be with us?" Katie asked, hopeful.
"Of course not. I don't want couples together, they cannot focus."
"Those two together don't exactly have a killer urge between them," Gwen said, pointing to Katie and Sadie.
"True, but they'll be useless if separated, so it's too bad," Yoshi replied with a shrug. "And Gwen, you're going to be with Ezekiel. Sakaki, you're with Alfred. Cody, you're-"
"He's with me," Eva shouted, grabbing Cody's arm and yanking him to her. Several people giggled until Eva glared at them.
"Yes, that's what I had planned from the start," Yoshi remarked.
"Well, screw your plans, we're doing it because I said so!"
"You're the sorest winner I know," he grumbled. "Okay. Mandy, Hannah, Izzy, I want you three to be together."
Mandy and Izzy both grabbed Hannah's shoulders and cheered. Yoshi gave them a stern look and said, "I don't care if you're Christian, Jewish, cultist, atheist, or if you worship some guy whose name is Greg. I want you three to get along and shoot those heathens."
"Can do," Hannah assured him.
"With pleasure," Izzy said with a wicked grin.
"They'll pay, oh how they'll pay," Mandy cackled.
"Yes, lovely," Yoshi added. "Now, Colin and Owen together. You two will be together."
"Why?" Gwen whispered to him as Colin looked at the bigger teen with disgust.
"Because he's the only person Colin cannot intimidate, and it's likely Owen will get scared and push him towards the enemy. The goth girl couldn't help but grin. "I like that thinking."
"Now then," the warrior continued, "Noah, Clive, and Belinda, you three are together. I want you two to make sure Clive doesn't shoot himself."
"How morbid," Belinda said while Noah nodded. The bookworm seemed to take this very seriously.
"Right. Should we even give him a gun?" he asked Yoshi.
"Of course we're giving him a gun, how else can he fight?"
"Meat shield."
"No, that'd be Owen's blubber," Colin remarked, pointing at his partner.
"Possibly," the larger teen stated happily. "But I get a gun, right? I won't shoot myself like the emo would."
"I think we should just shoot the emo! He'd be sulking in a corner like the emo he is."
"Don't be ridiculous," Noah chastised Colin. "If we shoot him now, I cannot have him keep watch behind me."
"You have the psychic on your team," Mandy pointed out. "If you have her, you don't really need the emo."
"I'm standing right here," Clive grumbled, startling them, "listening to everything you're saying."
"You all are being rather insensitive," Belinda said, holding up her paintball gun. "How about I shoot the next person who makes a rude comment?"
She was looking directly at Colin, who hid behind Owen, using him as a meat shield for the first time this day. Yoshi rolled his eyes, and shook his head.
"Does that mean Harold and I are together?" Carol asked. "We're the last two."
"Actually, can you two be lone snipers?" the warrior requested. "I think you two would be suited for that job."
"I am best at being a lone wolf, an assassin alone across the enemy line," Harold said, grinning. Carol nodded eagerly, and punched her palm.
"A lone cop, sweeping the streets of the scum of society," she said, leaping slightly in excitement.
"A lone samurai, cutting down hordes of snipers and ninjas!"
"A lone agent, tracking down the mafia and criminal elements in the city."
"We get how lone you two are," Colin shouted. "It's really no surprise, seeing how you're both dumbasses."
"You want this shoved down your throat?" Belinda asked the bully, waving her paintball gun at his face.
"I can think of a better place to shove it," Eva remarked.
Colin hid behind Owen for the second time this day.
"We have all the teams set," Yoshi said, trying to hide a smile over Colin's cowardice. "We need to be good shots and quick reactors, as we are already down a man. Joel is out, and his unfair elimination shall be avenged."
"Damn right," Alfred raged. "I liked Joel, and he must feel so upset he cannot participate!"
"Right, let's pop a cap in their ass," Mandy roared.
(Janitor's Closet - Those are paintballs, actually, not caps.)
Colin - "Yeah, it's a pain to be partnered with that farting fatso, but hey, the guy's like an elephant. You cannot get a better meat shield than that."
Zachary - "That Yoshi boy had better get ready to lose. I refuse to let that creep try and defeat people who are better than him, namely the popular people."
Geoff - "Man, I really wish that I could be with Bridgette. Being lost in a maze together, dangerous shooters coming at us... oh man... my hormones are acting up! Wonder how I can get Gwen, Ezekiel, and Hannah to not sleep in our room tonight..."
"Alright people," Chris Maclean announced, shouting through his megaphone to the audience, "we have the popular kids on the west side, and the nerdy freaks on the east side. Are you ready, kids?"
"Aye aye, Chris Maclean," the audience cheered.
"I can't hear you!"
"AYE AYE, CHRIS MACLEAN!!"
"Ohhhhhhhhh-kay then," the host said, pumping his fist in the air. "Here... we... go with Total Drama Gear: Paintballs of the Popular! The awesome pops and freaky geeks, move out!!"
The forty-two contestants ran in screaming, some with war cries and some in pure terror (poor Sakaki had to be dragged in by Alfred).
Yoshi was going rather slow, because Beth was rather scared. She was taking itty-bitty steps, and the pace was driving the warrior crazy.
"C'mon, Beth, you're slowing me down," he exclaimed. "We need to find the enemy now!"
"I don't really want to do this," she admitted.
"Listen, Beth, a paintball war is a fight between warriors and fighters. It's what separates the human beings from the worms!"
"Do... do people really get into this kind of thing?"
"Only real men and women, Beth. Only we can be this fierce!"
A sudden roar startled them both, and Fuzzy Wuzzums the Bear ran past them down another corridor; he looked terrified and paint was splattered all over him. Groucho the Duck was chasing after him, shooting wildly with a paintball gun.
(Janitor's Closet - When Animals Attack... Other Animals)
Yoshi - \He groans and shakes his head.\ "I want a repeat of that, because I don't think I believed it the first time I saw it."
Fuzzy Wuzzums the Bear - \grunting in Bear, English subtitles appear\ "dat duck cud hav kilt me; we need mur paintball gun contrul"
Groucho the Duck - \He is reading a "Duck to English" dictionary.\ "Ahem. ... Paintball guns don't kill people. I DO!!"
Courtney was trying to lecture Rodney on the "etiquette of war." The young man was patient and listening thoroughly, but he had trouble understanding Courtney.
"And don't shoot girls... um, there," the IT said, waving her hand dismissively and in no particular direction. Justin even looked to see where she was waving, but there was nothing except the maze.
"Don't shoot their wall?" the male model asked, confused.
"Okay," Rodney said, nodding and not getting it at all.
"Also, you should always be polite," Courtney said. "They may be your enemies now, but they could be your allies next challenge."
"So," the boy tried to interpret this, "should I... not shoot them?"
"No! Heavens no, shoot to kill!"
"Killing's always nice," Justin said, earning a glare from Courtney. "C'mon, Courtney, you should just tell him to shoot and stay calm. I could tell you the same thing!"
"I AM CALM," Courtney hollered. Rodney squeaked in terror and hid behind Justin's legs.
Coming down another corridor were Hannah, Mandy, and Izzy. The redhead was walking in-between the two girls, and giddily sharing a story.
"I was once on the wrestling team at school," she told them. "I was really good at it too! I could make my opponents lose consciousness in about five seconds."
"I didn't know you were supposed to do that," Hannah said. "Though I'm not on the wrestling team."
"I'm not anymore either," Izzy admitted. "Turns out squeezing your opponent's boobs in a grapple hold is frowned upon."
"Foolish wimps," Mandy remarked. "A girl's boobs should be tough. I used to keep a couple of my rats in my shirt, and they scurry like crazy; I'm stronger now."
Hannah couldn't help but giggle. "This is, quite possibly, the silliest conversation I've ever had."
Izzy grinned. "I know! Should we... oh!"
The three turned a corner, right in front of Courtney, Justin, and a very scared Rodney. A short stare-down between the six was awkward and terrifying, until Izzy let out a mad cackle.
"It's my evil ex and the CIT," she shouted, lifting up her paintball gun. "The Consoler In Thickheadedness!"
"That was completely uncalled for," Courtney shouted, snarling at Izzy. "Why are you three traveling together? Is it really strategic for the three fanatics to be traveling together? Are you nerds really that off-"
BLAT! BLAT! BLAT BLAT BLAT BLAT BLAT BLAT BLAT BLAT BLAT BLAT BLAT!
Rodney shivered behind Justin's leg, and the male model was intimidated at the sight of Courtney, coated entirely in paint, lying on the floor in a daze.
"How brutal," Justin muttered, looking at the three girls. Mandy grinned and twirled her gun in her hands.
"The world has no place for weaklings," the cultist said, clicking her tongue. "Ithaqua doesn't like eating pitiful people."
"Well then," Justin said, reaching up to his hair, "I think I could make a decent sacrifice to Itha-whatever."
"I doubt you could...," Izzy started, but then Justin flipped his hair dramatically. The male model swung his head, accenting his gorgeous neck muscles and shining his gleaming grin.
"You like that?" he asked, wiggling his perfectly groomed eyebrows.
"Oh no...," Izzy whimpered, lowering her paintball gun. "It's... so majestic. I... want to never stop staring..."
"He's so beautiful," Hannah gushed, wobbling on her feet. "God must have spent more time on him... so beautiful."
Justin grinned happily, and turned to the final girl; he was shocked to see a repulsed look on her face.
"Ewwww-yuck," Mandy shouted, and shot her paintball gun fervently. Justin took a great many shots to his chest and hair before the armor became too heavy and he fell to the ground.
"Rodney, run," Courtney shouted, managing to roll over onto her stomach to face her leader. "Get out of here, these three are insane!"
Rodney didn't need to be told twice, and bolted as fast as his little legs could carry him. The third girls on the nerd team fired at him, but missed due to his small size. Mandy sighed in frustration, then shrugged her shoulders.
"Well, we bagged two today," she said, grinning at the two fallen opponents. "Yog-Sothoth will be very pleased."
"Who the hell's that?" Justin groaned.
"Never you mind, pretty boy," Izzy snapped as she hugged Mandy from behind. "We found someone who's immune to your evil charms."
(Janitor's Closet - Nerds 2, Pops 0.)
Courtney - \still with some paintball stains in her hair\ "I am rather irked that I was the first to be eliminated in this challenge. Why does Chris have to get some crazy hose-beasts into this game like those three? What's wrong with sensible girls like me?"
Justin - "Mandy looks at me and says, 'Yuck'? Man, maybe she is lusting over Hannah." \He pauses to look at the camera, then sighs.\ "Wait, that was uncalled for, wasn't it? Darn it, Beth forcing manners into me affects me even when I'm not here."
Mandy - "I hate pretty boys, they just don't do it for me. I like someone rough and cool, someone who's fun! After all, my cultist life gets rather drab every now and then, I need some kind of entertainment, and there is no Old God of Humor!"
Hannah - \praying\ "Oh Lord, forgive me for lusting over Justin. I let my young hormones get the best of me." \She looks up at the camera.\ "Well, this is a confessional, isn't it?"
Izzy - "I love my new girlfriends! We're like Charlie's Angels, only more interesting! They sure beat all the invisible friends I've ever had!"
Carol sighed as she sat alone in a corner. The anxious girl had positioned herself in a perfect place for sniping those coming down the corridor, but no one was coming. And now she was getting rather bored.
"Why can't people come and get shot properly?" she muttered. Bored as hell, she dug a finger in her nose, and then ate what had come from the nostril.
The audience of Maclean Stadium let out some really loud and disgusted cries. Carol, unable to see most of them because of the labyrinth, looked around in confusion. She shrugged and dug her finger in her nose again. The appalled cries came back.
"The hell?" she asked herself. She brought her finger, complete with booger, to her mouth. The indignant cries of the audience got louder and she retracted the finger. Waiting, she tried to eat her nose discovery again, and the cries got louder.
"Oh shut the hell up," she grumbled as she flicked the booger away. "Like none of you have ever done this when you thought no one was looking."
She then heard some noise coming from the other side of the wall she was leaning against. Using some incredible upper body strength, she climbed up the wall and dangled herself on the top. Carol grinned malevolently when she saw Leshawna, Tyler, and Jasmine walking by.
"And that's when I was the lead in 'Fannie, Get Your Gun,' or whatever that play was," Jasmine gushed to a very annoyed Tyler. "I disapprove of a play involving guns, don't you? Don't you think it could do without guns?"
"It's a western play," Tyler grumbled. "Taking the guns out of it is like removing the ghost from a supernatural movie."
"Now that'd be an interesting movie," Jasmine said, tapping her chin. "I think we should do a play like that, about a man and a ghost but there is no ghost."
"Then it's just some guy losing his mind," Leshawna grumbled.
"No, because there is a ghost there, but there isn't," the actress said. "See, as an actress, I know how these things work. You two wouldn't know, you're not actresses."
(Janitor's Closet - Not for the actresses.)
Leshawna - "This is exactly what Jasmine is like, almost all the time. People call me the loudmouth, Jasmine is the motor mouth. Don't get me wrong, I love her like I love all my girl friends, but give her an opening, and she'll never stop."
Carol - "Man, that Jasmine chick wouldn't shut up! I was aiming for her big mouth, but unfortunately, something else big got in the way."
Carol's first shot hit Leshawna's side. The three popular kids looked around to see who was shooting, and it wasn't until four shots later that Tyler spotted Carol up on the wall.
"I'm in your maze," Carol shouted excitedly, "shooting you with the paintballs!"
"Coward," Tyler shouted, as he and the other two began shooting at Carol; however, due to the very small amount of her body being shown (and that a couple of them were really bad shots), Carol didn't get hit once. She kept aiming for Jasmine, but Leshawna was getting in the way.
"Move it! Retreat, girls," Tyler shouted, and attempted to climb the wall Carol was on. He kept slipping and falling, landing on his back repeatedly.
Carol was cackling as she continued you to shoot, but eventually the vibrations of Tyler hitting the wall (and floor) were too much, and she fall back down the other side. Grinning victoriously, she scurried off.
"Damn it," Tyler shouted, "I let that crazy girl get away!"
"We've got bigger problems than that, jock boy," Jasmine hollered.
She was holding Leshawna's hand, as the bigger girl was lying on the ground. Leshawna had been hit too many times, and her armor weighed her down. She was out of the competition, and Jasmine was taking it hard.
"Oh, my beloved Leshawna," she cried out, hugging Leshawna tightly. "You were sniped by the cruel Viet Moms, and you-"
"Viet Cong," Leshawna corrected her.
"Whatever," Jasmine sobbed. "They took you away from me! Oh, why does life insist on taking my loved ones from me? No, why did you go to war and leave me back at home?"
"But you... you're not... she's...," Tyler stammered, until Leshawna reached up and grabbed his sports jacket.
"Tyler boy, you ain't gonna ever make sense out of her," Leshawna grumbled, "so get your asses in gear and hunt down the nerds."
"Dang those Viet Nerds," Jasmine roared. "Let's go, Tyler! Leave Leshawna where she is, it's too dangerous to retrieve corpses on the battlefield. That reminds me, did I ever tell you about that war play I was in?"
Leshawna watched as Tyler and a very chatty Jasmine walked off. The large sister managed to lift her arm again to slap her forehead. "They're going to end up shooting each other!"
(Janitor's Closet - Friendly fire casualties.)
Tyler - "Yeah, I wanted to shoot her. I don't mean to stereotype, but when people say girls can talk, Jasmine WON'T stop talking! I mean, I didn't know anything about plays beforehand, and I don't think I learned anything after hours of her chatting! All she did was go on and on about her roles and what she thought about her fellow performers, unable to actually name the plays she was in!"
Jasmine - "... and then there was this play I was in where I was an old woman, in a house that was so poor that they ate rats. I served rat cake, rat tart, rat sourbée, and a strawberry tart without so much rat in it. The sketch went on with religious fanatics like that Hannah girl..."
\She continues to go on, but we really don't have that much time.\
Bridgette and Daisy were walking side-by-side, keeping an eye out for attacking nerds. Daisy was a little more interested in chatting with her favorite member of Total Drama rather than pay attention.
"How are things going between you and Geoff?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
Bridgette's face was dusted with a pink blush. "Um, fine, I guess. He's been really happy to be together again."
"He must love being with you again. How about Ezekiel? You two hanging out again?"
"Yeah. I didn't get to visit him during the break, but at least he got a cell phone so we can talk."
"Awesome! He is a cutie, isn't he?"
Bridgette couldn't help but laugh. "He does look a lot better when you get to know him, that's true. Guess it's true what they say, that people become better looking when you get to like them."
"I've always believed that! But I still think starting off cute is great too. Like Yoshi, or Alfred," Daisy said, twirling her paintball gun. "Those two are really hot. Think I got a chance with either?"
"You are going to try to date, Daisy?" she smiled at her friend. "Well, that should give you motivation to stay in the contest as long as possible."
"Oh heck yeah. So, who do you think is better for me: Alfred or Yoshi?"
As they continued to chat, Owen and Colin past by them from behind. The bully was trying to ignore the big guy, but it wasn't easy.
"So when it came time for me to check out, I was in this really long line. And so I was reading this magazine that said it had fifty-seven ways to drive a guy crazy in bed. Do you think there are that many ways to drive us crazy in bed? I don't know if I want to be crazy in bed. I just like to sleep in bed, and sometimes make a little fort or two. You ever make a fort in bed, Colin?"
"Owen, shut up."
"Right, that's what a fort is for, shutting up. Though it takes a lot of pillows for me to make a fort, and for there to be room. If I have gas, it really gets caught it there. It really does smell when trapped in an area. Do you think my farts stink?"
"Yes, I do, Owen. Now shu-"
"Really? Let me see."
He farted, and Colin covered his nose. As the two walked past with Owen trying to smell his own creation, Sebastian and Heather past by. He thought he smelt something foul, but dismissed it.
Heather was unusually quiet, which didn't bother Sebastian any; however, after a few minutes of silence, she couldn't take it anymore.
"So," she said, using the word everyone uses to start a conversation, "why did you join this show? You don't seem like much of a competitor."
"I joined for the reason you don't like," he said with a smile. "I wanted to meet people, enjoy myself, and for the ultimate reason anyone joins this show."
"The money?"
"Nope. I wanna be famous."
Heather couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, that is why I joined, I guess. Ezekiel joined for the opposite reason, to make friends."
She stopped when she realized she was talking about her boyfriend to a stranger. She sighed and said, "Don't take this personal, but I don't really want to talk about it."
"About what?"
"About Ezekiel. I don't really want to talk about my relationship with him. I just know someone is going to try and break us up."
Sebastian shrugged, and continued to walk silently. They walked on, unaware of Eva and Cody passing by. Cody was trying to make small talk, but he really didn't know what to say.
"So," he said to her, "you have a computer at home?"
"No," she answered, keeping an eye out for attackers.
"No? Really? Jeez, how do you survive?"
"I don't need a computer," she replied, a bit more harsh than she meant to.
"I thought everyone did these days."
Eva was about to snap, then she realized he wasn't trying to annoy her intentionally. She sighed and said, as patiently as possibly, "Cody, I know you're trying to talk with me, but when I compete, I focus entirely on competing."
"Oh," Cody said, sounding let down. "Okay then, I'll focus." Eva felt like she had just kicked something cute and defenseless. She sighed heavily, and continued on, unable to entirely focus now.
Then someone came running down the corridor in front of them, and Eva had to pull Cody back. She normally would have grabbed his shirt and yanked him back, but emotion made her do things a little bit more differently. She wrapped her arms around his chest and yanked him back, pulling him close for the least amount of chance for the enemy to see.
Neither of them noticed it was just Rodney, still running for his life. Cody was distracted Eva was doing something suspiciously like a hug and holding him against her chest, and Eva was quite distracted by the fact that she was doing this!
They were quiet for a few seconds, until Cody whispered, "Say, um, Eva?"
"Um, yes?"
"Should... should we be going?"
"I... actually don't know," she admitted. Her hugging grip was becoming a little bit closer, and both their faces were turning red. "Maybe we should just stay still for a couple more minutes, for safety's sake."
"I'm cool with that," he said, smiling slyly and looking back at her. "I'll keep a watch up front."
"Thanks."
Gwen and Ezekiel happened to see this as they walked down the other side of the corridor. "Look at those two," Gwen said in-between laughs. "Snuggling up when they're supposed to be competing!"
"They really should be moo'r focused, but who can blame them, eh?" Ezekiel said.
(Janitor's Closet - Snugs, not guns?)
Chris Maclean - "How can you miss someone passing by you that many times?"
Trent and Geoff were walking on the other side of the labyrinth, and the party animal was anxious to start a conversation with him.
"So," Geoff began (told ya) to ask Trent, "what's it like, having Bridgette as a sister?"
"Well, we aren't really sister and brother yet," the musician pointed out. "And we've only been together a couple days at dad's house."
"I still think this is so awesome," the party animal said, grinning happily. "I mean, when Bridgette and I get married, you and I will be brothers, and when you and Gwen get married, she'll be my distant sister-in-law!"
"Um, dude?" Trent said, looking around nervously. "Don't you think that's thinking a little too far ahead?"
"Why not think that, dude? I mean, let's be positive and believe we'll get married to our girls! When we're in-laws, you and I can host an awesome party!"
"My place isn't big enough for a party."
"My place is! Bring Gwen and her brother around! I wanna rock the whole neighborhood!"
"Won't your neighbors call the police?"
"We usually invite the police. They love it."
As they were continuing to chat and plan, Alfred and Sakaki were hiding down one of the corridors, gripping their paintball guns; well, Alfred was, because Sakaki was busy gripping and hiding behind him.
"Please don't let them shoot me," she whimpered. "I promise I'll be good."
"Why, have you been bad?" Alfred asked her.
"N-no."
"Well then, you don't have to promise to be good," he said matter-of-factly. "You don't have to promise anything when you've been a good girl. That's what mom said to me about Santa Claus."
Sakaki blinked, and continued to huddle up behind him, frightened and shivering. Alfred thought for a brief moment that he was in a horror movie with a scared girl next to him, then he remembered he was holding a paintball gun; most people in horror movies were woefully unharmed.
"Listen Sakaki," he whispered to her. "I am gonna ambush them before they come around. If you want, stay here."
"I wouldn't recommend that, Alfred."
Alfred flinched from the start, as the voice came from seemingly nowhere. He looked around, and Sakaki followed suit.
"Who said that?" the gonzo asked aloud. "C'mon, are you on our side?"
"I should say so," the voice said again. Alfred looked around more, then he stopped when something came to his mind.
"Wait a wild minute," Alfred exclaimed. "I know that voice! Joel?"
"That's me, not too different than you, my good friend Alfred," Joel's voice said.
"Where are you? I thought Chris disqualified you!"
"I'm in your head, giving your voices personality."
"You mean a communication device is in my head?" Alfred asked, tapping his helmet. "Hey, there is a little mic and speaker on the rim."
Sakaki felt the inside of her helmet, and gasped. "You're right! But... Joel? I thought you were disqualified! Where are you?"
"I'm next to Vera, did a little tinkering with the controls for communication devices. Chris didn't mean for those to be used, because he wanted the challenge to take longer."
"And you're using them to help us?" Alfred smirked as he realized what was going on. "Awesome."
"But isn't this cheating?" Sakaki asked, nervously tapping her fingers together. "I mean, you were eliminated-"
"Sakaki, Chris put money on the other team and shot me out before the contest started. This is quite personal," Joel said, "and besides, the rules have always been bent.
"Now stay against the wall," he instructed them. "Sakaki, stay behind him. Your small stature will make it harder for them to shoot you."
"But...," she whimpered, "I don't want him to be shot out because of me."
"I can take that risk," Alfred said. "Anything for a cute girl."
"C-c-c-cute?" Sakaki stammered, then fell on her back, covering her bright-red face with her hands. "N-n-no, I'm not cute! Don't call me that..."
"Play nice, Al," Joel instructed his friend. "Alright, they're coming up on you. Keep quiet, stay against the wall, and don't shoot until they have their backs to you."
Alfred and a still-blushing Sakaki leaned against the wall, him grinning wickedly and her shivering behind him. They patiently waited until Geoff and Trent walked by them, not noticing, until Alfred started to unleash the fury.
"Paintball Blitz," Alfred shouted out in a totally animé-like way of announcing the name of his attacks, which makes it really really cool (if you don't think so, well I'm the one describing the story, so deal with it).
Geoff was standing in the line of fire, so he took the majority of the attack. As he fell to the ground defeated, Trent was starting to get hit as well. "Forget about me, Trent dude," the party animal shouted as he hit the floor. "Run! Save yourself, future distant in-law!"
"Geoff, you probably shouldn't say that," Trent started, but ran nevertheless. Alfred ran after him, but the party animal grabbed his ankle and caused him to fall.
"Oh, geosiphat," Alfred exclaimed, punching the ground.
"Maybe next time," Joel said over the headset.
"Whoa, is that Joel?" Geoff asked. "Hi, Joel! Nice to see you're part of the competition."
"But he is against you," Sakaki pointed out, hiding behind Alfred again.
"Nah man, I hate unfair treatment, and it's all cool," Geoff said, grinning. "Say Joel, how are the teams going?"
"Well, the nerds have defeated four of the pops," Joel said, the sound of clacking keys. "I have everyone on a monitor, so I can tell who's where. And... and... oh-no!"
"What is it?" Alfred asked.
"The nerds," Joel shouted, sounding very horrified. "In the time I was busy helping you, we've lost several people!"
(Janitor's Closet - Lost? Sounds bad.)
Trent - "Look, I don't want to sound like a pessimist, but Geoff is taking a little too much for granted. Still, it would be awesome, wouldn't it?"
Alfred - "Having a big gun, a cute girl, and vanquishing my opponents, it's like I'm star of my own animé! Hell yeah, this show has made my dreams come true!"
Sakaki - \shivering\ "Th-this... sh-show... s-s-scares me. I know Alfred means well, but... why couldn't I have been with someone I'm more comfortable with? Like my teddy bear, or Sebastian, or my cats."
(Earlier, when Joel was distracted)
Katie and Sadie were discussing something that was so important to them that they couldn't afford to pay attention to the show: Sadie's love life.
"Look, I know you had a thing for Cody, but he's really tied up at the time," Katie told her. "I know you'd like to, but he's distracted enough."
"Poopie," Sadie cursed. "Well, who would you suggest? I trust your opinion over others."
"Well, firstly, Clive and you got on really well in that car race. DJ's a sweetheart, and I think Alfred would be nice for you too!"
"Alfred? The American guy with the hat?"
"Yeah, he is rather wild, but he's really cute, and I think there's great potential in him."
"Well, I'll think about that," Sadie tapped her chin. "Anyone else?"
"I think that Xander is really hot, Howard's not bad, and-"
She never got to say her third suggestion, as a flurry of paintballs hit them both. Katie had the unfortunate luck of Sadie falling on her when the two collapsed, knocking the wind out of her.
"Ow," the sweet girl groaned, trying to cope with the pressure of the suit and her best friend.
"Excellent shooting, Arthur," Valerie said as they stepped out from behind a corridor. He grinned and blew on the nozzle of the paintball gun.
"I thought I would be cracked up for this kind of thing," Arthur said, then looked over the BFFFs. "Excellent shooting on your part too."
"Thanks, dude," Xander said. "Anita, you rocked too."
"Aww, you're sweet to say, but who's to say I managed to shoot either of them?" she said, being modest about the shoot-out.
"They flanked us?" Katie cried out. "Aw man, what an indignant way to go."
Sadie started to giggle, and just before her friend could ask what was so funny, she said, "You're starting to sound like Noah."
"Ugh, that's terrible," Valerie groaned.
"I heard that!" Katie shouted, thrashing underneath Sadie. "Why if my armor wasn't weighing me down and Sadie wasn't on top of me and my paintball gun was deactivated, I'd show you!"
Another flurry of paintball shot out at Yoshi and Beth. The two managed to duck behind a wall just in time, and the shots whizzed passed the corner of the wall, a threatening sight.
"Damn it, that's the third time we've been ambushed," Yoshi cursed as he reloaded his paintball gun. "How the hell do they keep finding us?"
"Maybe they're just following us closely?" Beth asked. She was trembling slightly, and he placed a hand on her shoulder to calm her down.
"No no, it's been three different groups. They keep coming out of nowhere-"
Another flurry of paintballs came at them from the other side, and Beth was struck, mostly in the face. Yoshi, being hit a couple times but not taken out, leapt away and leaned against another wall. He fired at the direction the paintballs came from, which calmed down the storm.
Taking deep breaths, he looked over at Beth, who was covering her face and whimpering in pain. Risking it, he crawled over and pulled her to where he was hiding. She had dropped her paintball gun, but he could get that next.
"Hey soldier, how are you feeling?" he asked, holding her hand for comfort.
"Ugh, my face," she moaned. "They got me in the face... I'm gonna have a swollen welt for my face tonight."
"Easy, easy," Yoshi said. "Now c'mon, let's get you to your feet-"
"I can't," Beth whimpered. "The armor... it's too heavy. I think I'm out."
Yoshi let out a sigh of defeat, then he heard laughing coming from where the last flurry of paintballs came from. "Did you see that?" he heard the voice of the person he hated most here, Zachary, cackle. "I shot her right in the face!"
"That really wasn't appropriate, dude," DJ chastised him.
"You kidding? I got that white girl's ugly face, like, three times! Wouldn't it be funny if I shot her when she was down?"
Yoshi's fury came so fast that he didn't hear DJ's reply. All he knew was that he wanted revenge.
"Beth, there's something about war that you should know," he said as he wiped some of the paint from her forehead. "When you put your hand on a splatter of goo that is all over your friend's face... you know what to do."
He picked up his paintball gun, let out a cry of, "私はあなたに3つのコートを適用するんだ," and charged towards DJ and Zachary. [1]
(Janitor's Closet - What did he say, eh?)
Katie & Sadie - Katie - "Wonder how we lost that one?"
Sadie - "Yeah, that was rather mysterious how they flanked us. Oh, and sorry I was lying on you."
Katie - "It's okay. You ain't heavy, you're my BFFFL!" \They squeal happily and hug.\
Beth - \Her face has a few welts on it, and she sighs miserably.\ "I look like a freak or something with a terrible disease with these things on my face. Some people keep asking why is Justin seeing such an 'ugly girl,' and now it really feels like it." \She rubs one of the welts and whimpers.\
"This doesn't make any sense," Joel said, studying his electronic map. "They keep heading towards our members, like some kind of weird magnetism. Hang on, let me check to see if someone else is using Vera!"
"Okay, dude," Alfred said, giving a nod to his non-present friend. He turned to Sakaki, and said, "You holding out okay there, Sakaki?"
"N-not really," she admitted.
He walked over and patted her shoulder. "Hey, I know this isn't quite your thing, but think of it this way. It's the only point in your life when you get to do something like this, so try to enjoy yourself to the fullest."
She acknowledged him with a tiny nod. They were quiet for a few seconds before a little smile formed on her face. "Is that how you go through life, Alfred?"
"Exactly! And thus, you should try to be a little like me. After all, I know someone would love it if you-"
He never got to finish his insinuation, as several paintballs hit him from behind. Grunting and cringing in pain, Alfred gave Sakaki a heavy shove and managed to shout, "Run, Sakaki, run!"
Several more paintballs hit his back, and he fell to the ground. Sakaki saw Trent, Tyler, and Jasmine approaching, the actress shrieking battle cries. Tyler was not actually shooting, he was covering his ears because of Jasmine.
Sakaki let out a scream of terror and bolted. Jasmine hollered, "Get her, boy... s...," as the small Asian girl made such a quick retreat, that she was out of sight before Jasmine's order could come out of her mouth.
"Wow, she's fast," Alfred commented from the floor. "That's awesome."
"Dang," Jasmine cursed, snapping her fingers. "Well, I'll get her eventually."
"She's not really your type, Jasmine."
"Eww, yuck, freak," she shrieked, shooting him in the back. "I'm not like Hannah and Mandy!"
She continued to shoot the poor guy until Trent pulled her back. "I think he was teasing you, Jasmine," he said to her.
"Oh? Oh! Oh okay."
Tyler slapped his forehead in frustration.
"Okay, people," Noah said to Belinda and Clive. "We have Daisy and Bridgette in this corridor, just standing there. I'm gonna go around and flank them, I want you two to come out when I come out shooting."
"Such a shame," Belinda said. "I rather like both of them."
"That's life," Clive grumbled. "Good people getting taken down when they don't deserve it."
"How insightful," Noah said. "Belinda, make sure he doesn't shoot himself."
"Waste of paint for someone like me," Clive muttered as the bookworm headed off. Belinda smirked and slugged his shoulder playfully.
As they waited, Clive noticed Belinda was rubbing her fingers together, as if waiting for something. Finally, he couldn't take it any more, and asked, "Is something wrong, Belinda? I mean, more so than usual."
"I have this terrible feeling," she said, "that we're walking right into a trap."
"Yeah, that's life," he groaned. "We all walk into traps, some we set up ourselves."
He was confused when she smirked at him. "You're rather poetic," she commented. "I'd love to hear you talk about something besides misery."
"Misery is all I know."
"I think there's a way to change that."
"How?"
Clive suddenly noticed how close Belinda's face was to him. His pale face became pink when she grinned even more.
The sound of paintball shots alerted them, and they scrambled to leap out from behind the wall and start shooting. Noah was already trying to peg Bridgette and Daisy, and the two were doing a good job to avoid being shot.
"Keep trying, book boy," Daisy taunted. "I'm a real athlete here!"
"That's what's giving me the motivation," Noah shouted, firing paintball and paintball, avoiding the girls' shots. "Down with athletes! Nerds ro-AWK!"
He was pelted from behind, startled badly. He had no time to recover, just was only able to turn around before his armor became heavy and he fell on his back.
"Y-you," he stammered as he looked up at Crystal and Lindsay. "How'd you sneak up on me?"
"Called strategy," Crystal said, grinning victoriously. "Sorry about that, nerd bloke." Noah snarled, and rolled onto his stomach, though it took some great effort. "Belinda," he called out, "Emo Boy! Get out of here!"
His eyes widened in terror when he saw Clive fall to the ground, covered in paint. Belinda, also splattered with paint, fall to her knees and then collapse.
"Wh-what?" Noah gasped. "H-how... how did-"
Heather and Sebastian stepped out from behind the two defeated nerds, looking very pleased. Noah cursed and pounded the ground with his fist. "No no no, damn it! I'm the video game expert, how could a bunch of popular jerks beat us?"
"Hey, I'm not stupid, you know?" Lindsay pouted. "You're being mean, Noah."
"I am mean! Live with it!"
(Janitor's Closet - What a meanie.)
Noah - "Great. Just great. Outsmarted by a bunch of popular people. I hate that! What do they have that I don't?"
Lindsay - \She's looking down at her armor, which she has covered her chest.\ "My daddy says that I was showing too much cleavage when I was on TV." \She pulls down her armor to show off a good deal of cleavage.\ "Is this too much?"
Belinda - "Teasing Clive is kind of fun, because when he blushes, his pale face starts to get red. Of course, it's cute when Gwen does it too, but I doubt I'd have as much luck with her."
Clive - "Well, this shooting contest went exactly the way I thought it was and exactly how I didn't think it would. I got eliminated right off the bat, but I didn't expect Belinda to talk to me the entire time after we were shot down."
"So, Clive," Belinda said to the emo as they lay on the ground, "think the nerds can still win this contest?"
"I actually hope they do," Clive muttered. "I mean, I want the people who shot us to lose, but I don't have much hope."
"You really shouldn't, emo kid," Heather said, haughtily. "We're going to be closing in on all your friends, and they have no chance to survive our attacks."
"What?" Noah gasped. He snarled and shouted, "You have outside help?"
"Unfortunately," Daisy grumbled, crossing her arms.
"I don't really like it either," Lindsay admitted. "I mean, it doesn't seem fair."
"Stupid popular kids, don't patronize me," Noah snarled.
Lindsay grimaced at the harsh words. "But Noah, it's not like we asked for her help."
"Who's 'her'?"
Belinda groaned and slapped her forehead. "Oh no, not her. You've got to be kidding."
Up in the announcer's booth, Sandra sat in front of the computer screens. They showed large maps of the labyrinth, blue dots representing the nerds and green dots showing where the popular kids were. She had a headset on, and an electronic panel for communications with certain members of the competition.
Sandra heard the camera in the announcer's booth move a little, and saw it was pointed at her. She turned her chair to face it, and said, "What? You didn't think I was just going to let the nerds win this contest, did you?"
She burst a bubble of her gum at the camera.
--
--
--
Will the nerds be able to overcome this type of cheating with their own cheating and/or skills?
Can Eva protect Cody? Will Heather ever open up to anyone? Will Rodney be able to survive on his own?
If the game was everyone vs. Groucho the Duck, would he win? We'd put money on that bird.
--
[1] - Yoshi's Japanese war cry. "I am going to apply three coats to you!"
Remaining Nerds - Ezekiel, Harold, Mandy, Hannah, Sakaki, Eva, Cody, Colin, Yoshi, Owen, Izzy, Gwen, Carol.
Remaining Pops - Tyler, DJ, Rodney, Xander, Howard, Bridgette, Valerie, Daisy, Jasmine, Trent, Heather, Lindsay, Crystal, Anita, Zachary, Sebastian, Arthur.
--
Next - More cheating and shooting!