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Disclaimer = I do not own Harry Potter.
It was snowing glass.
Her only coherent thought, and it made no sense. Her eyes fluttered open as she turned her head to survey the damage. Glass was decorating all the floor and tables. The force of the explosion had knocked most of the furniture to the sides, and people were only just struggling to get up.
A gasp sounded from behind her.
"Look up!"
She craned her head, and felt the contents of her stomach slowly rise to her throat. There above them, where the ceiling had been, was a floating Dark Mark. She struggled to her feet, but her foot caught on fabric.
Draco's jacket.
Merlin.
"Draco." She called out before catching sight of light blonde hair. His head was pressed against an overthrown table. His eyes were shut, but he was muttering. She gathered her dress in her hands before kneeling down to him. "Draco." She shook him.
He opened his eyes, and jolted upright. Immediately, his hand went to his head. "Hey. Slow down." She said helping him stand, "You ok?"
He nodded before taking her in. Seeing only scratches from the glass, he relaxed. She leaned in.
"Draco, tell me you didn't see this."
He looked up and paled at the sight. His eyes widened when he met her gaze. The implication of the question clear in her tone. "Hermione, I can't see my own fate." He whispered, "No seer can."
She froze. Of course she knew that. All those books, and she couldn't even remember the key facts. He was swaying again, and she didn't hesitate to thread her arm around his waist.
"How hard did you hit that table?"
"I was definitely timing it right before I blacked out." He muttered, still trying to regain some semblance of balance.
"I think you have a concussion." She said as they finally stood still. He seemed ready to say something when Ron and Harry appeared before them.
"Hermione you ok?" Ron said scanning her over. She nodded. "Just cuts." Draco moved to stand on his own. She watched him wearily, but when he stood without immediately falling over, she turned back to Harry.
"What happened?"
Harry shook his head. Conflict was raging in his green eyes, but ultimately he was just as unsure and worried as she was.
There had been an attack on Hogwarts.
There had been an attack on one of the safest possible places in the wizarding world.
It made her sick.
Professors had quickly taken control of the situation. She saw McGonagall moving furniture to free students. Slughorn was currently looking at the roof with a strange sense of fascination and…fear.
Snape had just entered, his beady eyes searched the room before settling on their group.
"Fuck me." Draco mumbled behind her.
Snape stopped before them.
"Mr. Potter, Ms. Granger, Mr. Malfoy, and." Snape pursed his lips and with a certain matter of disdain said, "and Mr. Weasley, if you would follow me. The Headmaster wishes a word with you."
Harry and Ron quickly moved after Snape. She turned to help Draco, but he shook his head before slowly following them.
She'd never once recalled Dumbledore as being angry. Warm. Mysterious. Comforting. Frightening. All at some point in her near 7 years at Hogwarts, but angry, never. Though, this time would probably be the closest.
His jaw was set and the familiar twinkle in his eyes was a roaring blaze.
"Just Mr. Potter for now." He called before leading Harry up to his office alone.
"Blimey." Ron muttered, crossing his arms. She moved to him and settled a hand on his shoulder. He smiled gratefully though his eyes flitted between the steps to Dumbledore's office and Draco.
'How'd they get in?" Ron murmured, "There are wards. They couldn't have broken through."
"They didn't need to."
They both turned toward Draco who was leaning on one of the walls near the steps.
When he felt their gaze on him, he turned his body to face them. "They probably sent someone without…" he trailed off.
"Without a Mark." Hermione finished. He nodded stiffly.
"Or it could have been on the inside." Ron jabbed. She elbowed Ron at the comment. The accusation hung in the air, but Malfoy didn't rise to it.
"They did recruit from the school before." Draco whispered, closing his eyes as he let his head rest against the stones behind him.
They both stilled at that, but if Draco noticed their discomfort, he didn't say. He grimaced putting his hand to his head, muttering something to himself.
She bit her lip. She wanted to tell him to sit down, but at that moment, Harry came down the steps. He paused before them.
"He wants you." He turned to Hermione, "And Malfoy to go up."
She nodded walking toward Draco and was surprised when he accepted her help to climb up the steps. They sat in the two seats before the Headmaster's desk waiting. His back was toward them as he stood at his window. His anger noticeable changed to one of thin acceptance and calm. Another move had been made, another piece shifted on the board.
She fidgeted, clasping her hands tightly together.
He finally turned his head and focused on Draco.
"I assume you did not know about this."
Draco scowled, choosing not to comment. It was a ridiculous question, but often, she was finding, saying the answers, no matter how trivial, out loud was comforting. Dumbledore nodded to himself, continuing to stare down Draco.
"I tell you everything that is relevant to your cause." He finally said.
That was news to her. All this time, Draco had been telling Dumbledore about the visions?
Relevant to your cause
No. Some of them. Especially if his wording was to be taken into account. Then this was his choice. His side. She felt warmth wash over her in relief.
They had continued speaking without her. Both adept at tossing riddles at the other. Half-truths, they conversed in half-truths, and she found that it annoyed her to no end.
"…they've gotten stronger, it's happening soon."
She straightened at the words. Her suspicions correct as Draco's shoulders slumped after his declaration.
"They're going to ask me soon."
Dumbledore frowned, concern clear in his eyes. Ask him what? She froze then. No. No. No.
"No." Her voice rang out. Draco startled. He'd forgotten she was in the room. He turned to her, a storm of emotions on his face. They couldn't really be asking him to…not now…
"Join us." She said then, desperation seizing her.
"No." he said, clenching his fists, "The Order is a pool of hypocrisy," He turned his gaze back to Dumbledore, "that treats its heroes like it's villains." He paused, anger clear on his face now.
"Expendable."
She placed a hand over his clenched fist, surprised at how naturally the gesture seemed to come. Slowly, his fingers unclenched beneath her touch. She could feel their Headmaster's watchful gaze on them. His fascination was clear. When had this happened? When had they gotten to the point that their touches were not met with flinches or distrust? No doubt, they looked like something strange. They'd been designated enemies by birth and yet, they weren't now. Hadn't been for months.
"You don't want to fight with them either." She said softly.
"And if I stay?" he said, his voice lower, "I'm a liability Hermione." Her name. So soft coming from him.
"My parents are still on the other side. How long after they realize I'm not joining them will he wait to begin his torment as punishment? After a few rounds and the Order's steady successes because…" his voice faltered, "because of what I can tell them."
He was at war, the battle clear on his face.
"A quick glance through my family tree, maybe Bellatrix will even hand it to him, and he'll know."
He was imagining it, every bloody detail. His face paled, and his hand trembled beneath hers. She hadn't bothered to remove it.
"The Order." He stole a glance at Dumbledore, "will move me from safe house to safe house. I'll never be in the same place twice. I won't know…" his voice broke, "I won't know if my mother is dead or alive, and I won't be able to do a thing. I won't be able to fight, because I'm more valuable hidden and alive then fighting and dead."
"Draco…"
"And that's the best case scenario." He continued, tremors visibly going through his entire body. "The worst is that he kills them on the spot for lying to him when they don't even know."
The last word he stressed. Pieces seemed to shatter and fall into place at his declaration. They didn't know. He'd said they didn't, but in truth, she hadn't believed him at the time. Now, at his conviction in the statement, she did. Her chest tightened. How could his parents, even one as cruel and withdrawn as Lucius, not realize the torment their own child was going through?
He was shaking, and his skin had tinged to a gray green color. She blinked. The concussion. "Headmaster, I think that Draco should see Madame Pomfrey now." She spoke for the first time to Dumbledore, "I think he may have a concussion, and he's been worked up enough."
Dumbledore met her gaze. Understanding and curiosity still lingered in his eyes, but he nodded in agreement. Wordlessly, she stood. Draco followed, slowly and swaying. She shifted closer to him and snuck her shoulder beneath his arm. They walked like that out of Dumbledore's office and passed Harry and Ron who were still waiting for her. She shook her head as the questions visibly formed on their face. A declaration of going to the infirmary, and they continued.
She wanted to levitate him there, but didn't have it in her to ask. He hadn't met her eyes since leaving Dumbledore's office, retreating into his whirlwind of a mind. He'd thought it through. Every possible scenario.
All those times he'd spoken in riddles, and he'd been telling her all along.
No man will hurl me down to Death, against my fate. And fate? No one alive has ever escaped it, neither brave man nor coward, I tell you - it's born with us the day that we are born.
Pray that you'll come home again, back from your enemies, since your heart urges you against my will to those swift ships.
His plan so clear, and yet she'd hoped against all odds she was wrong. The infirmary was nearly full with students with various injuries scattered and waiting for Pomfrey to get to them.
"Granger." Draco said, as they stood near the entrance taking in the scene.
She looked up and met his gaze. "I don't think I can stand for much longer." He continued.
She nodded. She craned her neck to catch sight of an open bed when she eyed the Slytherins. Blaise noticed her first and seeing Draco leaning heavily on her immediately pulled Theo with him. The two gingerly took Draco from her and led him to a bed in the corner. He slumped on the edge of the mattress and Pansy looked him over. She ran her hands through his fringe and smiled at the scowl that had settled on Draco's face.
A pang shot through her gut at the easy unguarded action, but it was soon forgotten when Draco moaned as he rubbed his temples. Pansy frowned, still ignoring her. "I told you to take the potion Draco." She crossed her arms, "I even modified it after your last colorful refusal."
The blond opened his eyes and shot her a weak grin. "And I refused all the same."
Blaise had come to settle by her side. He leaned his head over to her. "We thought you'd both come straight here. Theo saw Draco hit the table." She nodded. "Dumbledore asked to speak with us first." Blaise nodded. Pansy had stopped arguing with Draco at this point and finally turned her gaze to settle on her.
"What are you still doing here?"
Hermione bristled and crossed her arms. "I'm staying until Pomfrey's seen him." Pansy raised a brow, meeting her anger with a scowl of her own.
"Pans." Draco began before a strange look crossed his face. Then he was on his feet, nearly running toward the loo in the infirmary. They all stayed frozen until the faint sounds of coughing and spluttering could be heard. Vomiting. She was definitely right about the concussion.
"Where is Pomfrey?" Pansy snapped then, before declaring she was off to find her. She sighed in relief at her departure and turned to find both Blaise and Theo glancing oddly at her.
"So Granger." Theo said, leaning on the edge of the bed. "You went to the dance with Draco."
She nodded. "We're both Heads and…" he waved his hand to cut her off. "Spare me that. How was your evening?"
She frowned. "Fine except for the ceiling exploding and…"
"Just fine. Nothing else?" He pushed. Her frown deepened and she noticed Blaise fighting to contain a grin. "I don't understand what…."
"Dammit Draco, the one time I make a bet." Theo exclaimed as Blaise burst into laughter.
"Theo." Draco said slowly walking back toward them, "Do shut up." The other boy clamped his mouth shut but the look of exasperation remained. Hermione chose to ignore it and helped Draco the rest of the way to the bed.
"Are you alright?" she murmured.
He grimaced as he sat on the bed. "If the room would stop spinning, I'd be fanfuckingtastic." He muttered. She allowed herself a slight grin at his curses. At least his humor was intact.
"Mate, the one time I bet on you being a smooth fuck and you don't..."
"Theo." Draco growled, "Shut your mouth, or I'll do it for you."
Hermione laughed then and both boys turned their heads to her. "I'm sorry, but this arguing, it's so normal and…" she laughed again taking in their faces.
Lavender has finally delivered true gossip.
She didn't know why, but the thought amused her to no end.
Slowly Theo cracked a grin, though Draco retained his scowl.
At this point, Pansy had returned with Madame Pomfrey in tow. The healer moved her wand over him, and nodded to herself before summoning a potion vial and commanding him to sit back. When he protested, she crossed her arms. "Mr. Malfoy you are not leaving this infirmary until tomorrow at the earliest. The less you're moved the better. Now take this." She placed the vial in his hand, "And go to sleep." She spun with a huff, moving to another group of students.
Hermione blinked, shocked at the normally calm witch's outburst. "I suppose it's safe to say you aren't her favorite patient." Theo snickered.
"Even though, with the amount of times I've been here, I'm probably paying her damn salary." Draco muttered unscrewing the vial and drinking its entire contents. He sighed putting the empty vial to the side.
He met Pansy's gaze and after a short moment, the girl dipped her chin in a slight nod. "Alright." Pansy said, "Let's go see if Slytherin is still in one piece after this fiasco." She motioned for Blaise and Theo to follow her. Hermione lingered after them.
"They're quite different than I expected." Hermione murmured, "Theo is…"
"A bloody wanker." Draco finished. She smiled, but said nothing. He sighed leaning back to stretch out on the infirmary bed.
"I may not even need a sleeping draught." He muttered closing his eyes.
"Draco." She began, unsure how to phrase the many questions and concerns going through her mind. Sensing her hesitance, he opened his eyes again. "Hermione." He whispered, "Not tonight."
She nodded, and he smiled slightly before closing his eyes and turning his face into the pillow. He was lightly snoring by the time, she turned to leave. She watched his chest rise and fall steadily, thinking for all that talk of Slytherin cowardice, she didn't think Draco was cowardly at all.
She'd debated 10 minutes before deciding to come back down to the infirmary to check on Draco. The sun had just begun to rise, lightly brushing over the grounds and peeking through her window. Too early, when she considered how late it was when she had finally made it back to her dorm.
Regardless, she'd caved. She wasn't going back to bed anytime soon, and the knawing and need that had settled in her stomach was overpowering. She had to make sure he'd actually slept, instead of staying up to fight off any visions. In her hand, she clutched the full pain potion vial. If he refused, she was fully prepared to force it down his throat.
He needed to relax and function properly, and despite his protests about the numbing of his senses, she found that he had the tendency to be more aware of their surroundings then her, even if his head was pounding. He could handle a slight decrease from his normal heightened awareness.
She'd neared the Hospital wing, and paused, thinking of the second vial in her rob pocket. She'd found the immune strengthening potion recipe, and had let it brew overnight. It would be easy now to give it to him under the guise as something from Pomfrey. She debated it, but her thoughts were interrupted by the echoing of low voices from the Infirmary.
Draco's voice was easy to pick out, and the second, she was certain, was Theo.
"I can't believe they got that close." Theo said.
"I can't believe a lot of things from last night." Draco said before sighing.
She moved closer toward the curve in the hall, hoping to catch a glimpse of them.
"Well, they're moving faster that's for sure."
A pause.
"I'm worried mate."
"Theo…"
"I mean we both got our glimpse over the summer, and I can't get it out of my mind. All that blood, the way we couldn't tell where it came from… gods we barely made it out of the room before you ran to the loo to get sick."
Hermione bit her lip. At the mention of blood, she'd frozen not daring to move any closer.
There was some rustling.
"It's not just that. I'm worried about you."
Silence. Her heart was drumming in her chest and the beats resounded in her ears. She could hear Draco's walls go up in his next words.
"Don't be."
Theo laughed mirthlessly.
"You used to be a better liar. Come on Dray, we've known each other since we were barely walking. You're going to have to be more convincing."
More rustling.
"I guess I'll have to work on it."
She heard another sigh.
"Look, all I'm saying is that you're a hair from running yourself into the ground before they do."
The pounding stopped, and she edged even closer. Her view didn't change, but the volume increased.
"I'm not used to this considerate side of you Nott, you're usually either a raging prat or a silent spectator."
"You'd be surprised what you pick up when you keep your trap shut." Theo retorted.
"Don't tell me that…"
"No. After all the gossip you've engineered, no one's too keen on going for either side."
"Good. At least they'll think about it." Draco said.
She blinked. He'd been protecting Slytherin. Protecting foolish students from rushing to a side. Well from rushing to one particular side.
"And have you?"
She edged closer.
"Have you thought about it?"
Draco didn't respond.
"Come on mate, after you it's me. I'd like some words of advice."
"Theo." She heard the bed creek.
"You know it is. Blaise could run. His mom has no ties with anything. In fact, she's been camping out in Italy. Pansy has time." A pause, "They're not going to bring girls into it yet. Crabble and Goyle, no matter how you defend them, are not exactly in high demand…and then…and… I've been trying to lay low all this time."
"Lay low, you're third in the class." Draco snorted.
Theo chuckled.
"Well there's only so much stupidity even I can fake, though I'm surprised how long you held out. I'd be careful though. You closed that gap between you and Granger too quickly. People think you've been holding back this entire time."
Theo cleared his throat.
"Anyway. After that it's me. It's not like father hasn't already been hinting it."
"Your father doesn't hint at anything."
"You're right. He beats it into you."
She shuffled her foot as she took her next step. She bit her lip. The sound was low, maybe they'd ignore it.
The hushed voices ceased. She stifled a groan and waited a few moments before walking the rest of the way into the infirmary. Draco was sitting on the edge of the bed already dressed, one leg hanging over the side and the other pulled up onto the bed. His head was resting on his knee, and his eyes were focused on her as soon as she came into view. There was no evidence of surprise. It made her wonder how long he'd been aware of her presence before her misstep.
She recalled his admonishment, all those weeks ago.
You Gryffindor's. You're not cut out for stealth.
Theo, though, had some evidence of surprise lingering in his face as he watched her make her way toward them. His dark hair was messed around his face, and she couldn't recall ever seeing him so disheveled.
She cleared her throat. "I suppose we all couldn't sleep then." She forced a weak smile to her face. Theo nodded. She stole her gaze down to Draco. "How do you feel?"
"Like shit." He murmured dropping his leg down and messaging his temples.
She held out her hand with the pain potion. Seeing it, he moved away. The action brought a genuine smile to her lips. "I did say I'd force it down if I had to." She said.
Theo grinned. "Come on Draco, the girl's come all the way here to give it to you." He teased.
Draco grumbled before snatching the vial and downing it in a single gulp.
"See how easy that was." She said.
At her teasing, Theo burst out laughing.
"Granger, I didn't think you had it in you to manipulate and then goad anyone."
She smirked at Theo, who was watching them both with a bemused interest.
Her eyes drifted back to Draco, who was beginning to relax. The tension that had held his back rigid and his shoulders stiff, had eased. He closed his eyes and took a breath, a slight flush of color seemed to spread over his face. Seeing it, she wished he'd take potions more often.
"Well mate." Theo said clasping Draco on the shoulder. "I'm going to see if I can catch up on some much needed sleep." He shot a look at her before returning his eyes on his friend. "You should too."
And like that Theo made his way out of the infirmary, leaving the two of them very much alone. He avoided her gaze.
"You should lay back down. I don't think it's a good idea for you to be moving around so much yet."
He grumbled in acknowledgement before stretching back out on the infirmary bed.
"I should have listened to Blaise and bought the beds. These things are awful." Draco muttered. She smiled slightly, but it soon faded as her mind lingered longingly at the time. She'd had no answers and a handful of questions. Now she had a handful of answers, and enough questions that they were driving her bloody mad.
"I want to talk about last night."
He sighed, not in the least surprised. He didn't say anything. She swallowed her frustration and pressed ahead.
"I want to talk about what you said to Dumbledore."
Or rather what you didn't say.
"Granger." He warned, sitting up slightly.
She ignored him, moving closer to sit on the bed.
"Take the help that's being offered to you. Fight with us."
Fight with me.
"Granger."
It was a growl. A low threat as he eased himself up into a sitting position.
"You don't want to join him." She pushed, unsure where her sudden rash words were coming from. "You don't have it in you to join him."
"You don't know me." He shouted. He seemed to loom over her, and she refused the instinct to shift away from the bed. She was going to crack him. She would not back down this time.
"There was a time I would have joined him willingly. Never forget that." He said. His eyes darkened. He'd become like the sea's eerie calm before a storm. The building silent rage dancing in the edges of his words. The air seemed to crackle as his magic flared with his temper.
Somehow it didn't frighten her into submission. If anything, it made her more determined.
"Maybe." She saw him falter under her agreement. "But not completely willingly. Never completely willingly. You'd have done it for the glory and power, for the expected praise and acceptance, for your pride, for your father to look at you with something other than contempt in his eyes."
"Don't talk about my father." He hissed taking hold of her arm. She winced at the curl of his fingers around the flesh.
"And for all that, you still wouldn't have been completely willing, because you had your doubts Draco Malfoy. You've always had your doubts. It wasn't until something pushed you over the edge that left you passed the point of no return."
She pressed on, unsure where the words were coming from. It wasn't until they were spoken that she realized they were true.
"So what was it? Because I don't believe a few trips to muggle London forced you to open your eyes. What pushed the arrogant bigoted racist pureblood Prince so that his doubts could no longer be ignored, what pushed the great Draco Malfoy hater of all the Mud-"
"Blood." He shouted, "Blood all over the Manor's floor. Blood that bled the same crimson red whether it came from a sinner or a saint…a heathen or a king." He shook. "Blood that led to the same death regardless of the source."
His eyes had glazed over, and he looked like he was a moment away from being sick right on the bed.
"Dra-"
"It was everywhere. On the floor. On the walls. In my dreams." His voice dropped. He was struggling to breathe, each rise and fall of his chest, labored. Even his hands were shaking.
"I hope you never see what hell looks like." He whispered, "because I see it every day."
She moved to close the distance between them, to offer him some sense of comfort, but he moved away.
"The Order doesn't know what they're bloody doing. They've underestimated him and everything he's capable of. They think there is some sort of magical line that can't be crossed. There isn't. There is nothing he won't do. For him, there are no boundaries."
He licked his lips.
"And that should make you very afraid."
"You think it doesn't." she whispered, "I'm terrified."
"No." he let out a strangled sigh, "Not the way that it would force you to think and think and think of every possibility."
His skin was green and suddenly he pushed off the bed and toward the loo. She closed her eyes and listened as he retched any and all of the paltry contents of his stomach. He was visibly trembling when he came back, collapsing on the bed. She stood and pulled the covers over him. He didn't protest.
"I'm going to see if I can find more potions like the one Pomfrey gave you yesterday." She said softly.
He nodded in response, his eyes closing in exhaustion.
She'd made this a habit somehow. Arguing with him to the point of physical depletion. He wasn't well. He hadn't been well in months. She seemed to keep forgetting that.
She rummaged through Pomfrey's cabinets, amazed that they'd remained undiscovered despite their earlier yelling. She found the potion that Pomfrey had given him. She paused before taking the potion vial hidden in her rob pocket out. Without a second thought, she found an empty glass and filled it with water and emptying the contents of her potion into it. The liquids bubbled as they met, but soon the liquid settled and re-took its clear appearance.
She steadied her trembling hands before taking the glass and Pomfrey's potion back to Draco. He took them from her without a word and downed both in single gulps. "Thank you." He murmured leaning back into the pillow. She sat on the edge of the mattress, exhaustion creeping into her bones and weakening her knees. He groaned lowly and his eyes closed. She pressed a hand on his chest and rubbed in soothing circles. He kept muttering something that sounded suspiciously like 'I'm sorry' before falling silent.
They stayed like that for Merlin knew how long until Draco shifted his arm and caught her hand in his.
Their eyes locked. There was so much resolve behind that steely gray gaze of his.
"Tell me why." She finally whispered.
"Because I'm going to be dragged into this war one way or another. I either get pulled in kicking and screaming or I walk in with my feet still on the ground." He sighed, a hand brushing through his fringe. "There's no third option. Not for me."
"Draco." Her grip on his hand strengthened, "What you're thinking of doing is dangerous."
"But not something that hasn't been done before." He said focusing his eyes above her head. She didn't have to turn to know what had caught his gaze. The tension had thickened, and the same cool air that often accompanied their professor was heavy on her chest. Snape regarded her. She made no move to leave, her hand still on Draco's chest. His beady eyes drifted from her face to her hand and finally settled on Draco.
He shifted beneath her touch to sit up, but he weakly abandoned the effort and settled back down.
"I think it would be best Miss Granger, if you left Draco to rest."
She turned to him. When he dipped his chin in a slight nod, she stood reluctantly.
"Thank you Granger for the potions." He said softly.
She nodded weakly. "I'll be back." His lips parted slightly and a thin smile stretched across his pale face. She turned quickly, forcing one foot in front of the other. It was strange. A few short months ago, she would have gladly walked, no ran, away from Draco Malfoy in favor of peace in her room. Now though, she found she wanted nothing more than to turn back around. Because she cared. Because he'd become a friend. Because he needed someone too.