Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Please don't try any of this at home. Also, do not try any of the jokes with airport security, I'd hate for any of my loyal readers to be held up and cavity searched.
The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - To warn everyone, especially my friends Winter-Rae and PsychoZeke, this chapter starts a terrible feud between Colin and Hannah, mostly on his side. Starting from now, he's going to insult Hannah and her Christian beliefs as much as he can. This is just to make him a more vile villain.
I'd like to apologize if you are not religious, and I guarantee you that Colin is not supposed to represent the agnostic and atheists out there in the world. He's just supposed to be a jerk, and the only way to be a jerk to a devout Christian is to insult their belief. That being said, I want you all to know that no matter how much you hate him, I get to be the one to slap him because I'm the writer, and will have much fun writing it. \wicked grin\
Oh, and new poll. Time to name the raccoon!
Chapter 13 - Crash Course 'n Flight
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Yoshi was looking at every participating member in the cafeteria. The triumphant leader of the last challenge was expecting glares, determined glances, even one or two of the popular kids threatening him on the way.
He was not expecting love in the air. It was downright insensitive to make out the day after his grueling victory. A competition didn't feel much like one when people were making out.
Geoff and Bridgette, Lindsay and Tyler, Izzy and Owen, Beth and Justin, and Courtney and Duncan were all kissing as if it were their last day together. Noah was feeding a giggling Katie, Gwen was snuggling up to Trent, and Harold was hugging Leshawna around the waist. Even Ezekiel and Heather looked comfy, him wrapping an arm around her shoulders; she looked hesitant at first, but when he kissed her neck, she slid against him happily.
Yoshi growled as he sat down at a table, upset by the amount of love. He wanted action and hatred, people threatening him that he'd be next to go. It really didn't help to see a lot of the new members, like Xander, Howard, Carol, and Alfred and Daisy flirting too. What would it take to make people mad at...
He almost froze when he realized that. Sitting right across from him were Alfred and Daisy, both of them with sly smiles and shameful words on their lips.
"You too?" he grumbled, rubbing his temple.
"Hey, he's cute," Daisy said with a giggle.
Alfred grinned impishly. "I never met a girl who could reply so well to my bad flirting."
"It's because I'm a bad flirt, and thus it's easy to work with," she said as she wiggled her eyebrows at him.
Yoshi made a gagging noise, and Daisy glanced over at him. He scoffed and looked away, muttering, "This is supposed to be a competition."
"Does that mean you and I are going to compete or Daisy?" Alfred asked, clasping his hands excitedly. "Oh wow, I've never done that before!"
Daisy gasped joyously. "Two boys fighting over me? Oh Alfred, you shouldn't have!"
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close to kiss his cheek. She giggled and looked at Yoshi, saying, "Well, my fine samurai, what's your first move?"
Yoshi growled and shoved a mouthful of eggs into his mouth, then looked away. He saw both Anita and Eva talking to Cody, trying to get his attention. Snarling, he slammed his forehead against the table top.
(Janitor's Closet - Might as well be Lover's Lane Closet...)
Lindsay and Tyler - \kissing fervently, her hands under his jacket\
Owen and Izzy - \kissing wetly, her arms around his head\
Bridgette and Geoff - \kissing passionately, his hands all over her sides\
Yoshi - "I'm sick of all this love and kissing! You know why? It makes everyone who wants to compete seriously, like me, look like a jerk. And it's not fair, because no one wants to separate them, not even me. I mean, I'm a master strategist, but I wouldn't want to break up anyone..."
\He groans and slaps his forehead, then shakes his head.\ "Why am I jealous of Alfred? Why do I feel like I should compete? Do I want to be seeing Daisy?"
\He looks at the camera in-between his eyes.\ "Where the hell did that come from?"
The forty-one contestants all enjoyed breakfast, except for a disgruntled Yoshi. They walked out into the stadium, and were very surprised to see no one was in the stadium audience.
"That's weird," Lindsay remarked. "I would think this place would be full again."
"Budget ran out a little," Chef Hatchet, who was walking nearby them, said nonchalantly. "Seems that having a full crowd for just the send off isn't that good for our budget."
"I loved having a lot of people cheering us on," Beth complained.
"I didn't," Arthur said. "Seemed kind of frivolous, like someone holding a million dollar birthday party."
"Oh, I do that," Lindsay said, grinning happily. "Last birthday party I had cost more than all the cars my family owns!"
Most of the others weren't actually thrilled to hear this. Noah rolled his eyes and said, "Great. Guess that means if you win, you can afford five more birthday parties, or one five times bigger."
Lindsay's eyes widened at the thought, and she clapped excitedly. "Oh, I never thought of that! I cannot wait! What's the next competition, huh?"
As if a switch was thrown (actually, a button was pressed), the holographic cover was lifted around the stadium, and a full audience was there, screaming and cheering and clapping.
Several of the contestants were startled, and clung to other people. Some were bothered by this, but some, like Tyler who had Lindsay clinging to him, didn't mind so much. The blond girl gasped and looked around.
"Are these the people for my birthday party?" Lindsay asked, then cheered and clapped her hands. "You all shouldn't have! This is so cool, there's a few more people than last year!"
(Janitor's Closet - Were we invited?)
Trent - "Just how many people were at her last birthday party?"
Valerie - "What a trivial waste of money. If she's spending that much, she should at least be campaigning."
Beth - "Wow! I want to be invited to that next party!"
Mandy - "Foolish mortals always trying to make their little lives so much bigger. Well, that big girl isn't gonna win after this, how many people are gonna let a girl win when her mortal 'rents got more dough than the show?"
Chris Maclean was standing on the platform, grinning as he flipped a remote in his hand. "Well then, contestants of the Maclean Stadium, how are you all?"
"We're doing just fine," Gwen remarked with a roll of her eyes. "We are actually having a really good time at breakfast in the morning."
"You ungrateful punks," Chef Hatchet grumbled.
"You don't have any right to complain," Katie shouted at him, startling Noah and Sadie. "The pans were never washed, the utensils were never washed, and you know that mixing bowl, the one with the green brim?"
"What about it?"
"You never washed it," she shouted. "I recognized the meal from the fourth challenge of Total Drama Island!"
"How did you remember that?" Sadie asked him.
"Bridgette puked it all over me, remember? Well, that and chips."
As the surfer girl nervously wrung her hands, Chris chuckled. "So, you finally manage to clean that bowl?"
"No, and I've used everything I could, including an ice pick, a carving knife, and I broke two iron wool scrubs," she remarked. "I was thinking of using dynamite next, but I wouldn't know where to get it."
Izzy lifted her hand, and Noah slapped it down. "Why," he growled, "am I not surprised?!"
"Never mind our dirty bowls," Chris said. "Our next challenge is going to be rather fun and unique! It's a flying contest!"
Owen and Izzy screamed and clung to each other. Sakaki squeaked in fear and hid behind Sebastian. Heather balked at the sound.
"There is no way," she shouted, "that you can trust half of these people to fly a plane! In fact, I don't think any of us are allowed to fly a plane."
"No no, these will be standard, commercial plane flights," Chris explained. "You all are gonna fly on commercial airlines."
Izzy and Owen clenched each other tighter. Anita drummed her fingers together and said, "Wait, Chris. If we're riding commercial planes, how is it a race?"
"Ah, good question, beautiful," the host said. "You see, we've arranged for planes to take off to a certain destination at noon, 12:10, 12:20, 12:30, 12:40, 12:50, one o' clock, and one every hour afterwards."
"That still doesn't make any sense," Hannah spoke up. "How are we going to get there in different intervals?"
Colin chuckled, confusing some people. He looked over at Hannah, and said, "What are you going to do, Jesus girl? Pray for God to teleport you?"
"No, that would be cheating," she remarked, smiling politely. As she took this in stride, Joel was taking deep breaths and crossing her arms. Belinda nudged him gently.
"If she can take it, so can you," the clairvoyant said. He exhaled, then nodded. Clive nearby scoffed.
"It's all hopeless," the emo muttered. "You should turn your back on hope and love, it'll only hurt you."
Belinda turned towards the emo, batting her observant eyes. "Don't be so negative about others' possible love lives, Clive, just because your last girlfriend cheated on you."
Clive's jaw nearly hit the floor.
(Janitor's Closet - Was she right?)
Clive - \He still looks thunderstruck.\ "How did she KNOW?!!"
Colin - "That Hannah girl has already got on my nerves. She flaunts around, acting like she's better than us. I bet she's in the confessional every time, saying how we're all gonna rot in hell; all Christians are like that, you know."
Hannah - \tapping her chin with her finger\ "If Data from Star Trek was an android, did he have his own power source? I don't remember him ever charging up."
Chris tapped his foot. "Are you all done? Look, you all are doing a pre-challenge before the contest. That'll determine when you all can take off, and the sooner you get to the airport, the better."
"We just getting to the airport?" Courtney asked. "Do we have tickets ready?"
"Nope! You see, you all are getting tickets and car rentals via your own provided money! You guys get an all-use cash card, the amount determined by how well you did last couple challenges."
"Who judged us?" Yoshi asked suspiciously.
"I did, of course."
"Are the nerds going to be judged fairly?" Harold demanded to know.
"Of course, you pack of cheaters," Chris said cheerfully. "Now look, you all are going to pick one member from your team to run an obstacle course, and then once your member passes, you can go pick your car. We have nine cars that all look the same, but they have been modified for different speeds.
"Once you get to the airport, get through airport security. It may be hard, depending on what you carry."
Yoshi dubiously eyed his katana blade. Izzy discarded a stick of dynamite. Noah looked at Mandy.
"Now you all buy your tickets and fly to the designated area. There, you purchase your rental car, and the more money you have, the faster it could be. You all race back here, and that's your flight challenge."
Heather let out a relieved sigh. "Thank goodness."
"Yeah, especially since fat ass there," Colin said as he jerked his thumb at Leshawna, "would prevent one of those smaller planes from getting up, huh Heather?"
It's hard to say what happened next, but the result was that Gwen, Harold, Mandy, Crystal, and of course Leshawna all had to be pulled away from Colin after quite a few smackings. The bully didn't look too good afterwards, but most of the people didn't mind.
"Nice job," Chris observed. "Now see, the cash card is allowed at all the places, just please spend it wisely."
"How are we going to know how to get from here to the airport, and from where we land to get back to here?" Rodney asked.
"You can buy maps or a GPS system. Your call. Any more questions?"
"Yeah dude," Geoff asked before Chris could say, "No? Good." "How did you get the cars to have modified speed?"
"It wasn't easy," Chris said with a grin, "but we managed."
Hannah cleared her throat loudly. "Excuse me, but give Joel his due credit."
"Why thank you," Joel said as Chris frowned. Belinda and Hannah offered a high-five when the host and the beaming inventor weren't looking.
"If you all are done talking about Joel's good mechanics," the host grumbled over the giggling contestants, "I'd like to announce the teams."
Belinda raised her hand. "Excuse me, but that's everything you have to say otherwise?"
"Yes, why?"
"HA," Belinda shouted, startling everyone; no one expected her, of all people, to shout. "You forgot to say 'Welcome, contestants, to the next challenge of Total! Drama! Battlegrounds!' I win!"
The audience went wild, but not as wild as the contestants. They all cheered and congratulated as Chris Maclean sulked. Howard threw confetti into the air.
(Janitor's Closet - Break out the champaigne!)
Chris Maclean - "Man. How does she do that?"
Belinda - \brushing a strand of hair behind her ear\ "I'm just good, Mr. Maclean."
Howard - "Oh be still, my heart. I must have that blond beauty, she is so very smart and wonderful and pretty! And how could she resist me, I love her talents! I'm not standing in here going, 'How does she do that'?"
Belinda - \coming back in after Howard leaves\ "I'm still not that interested in him. Still, human beings can surprise you."
"If you're done," Chris snarled as he pulled confetti streams off of his hair, "can I finally announce the teams?"
"Sure," came the scattered reply from the celebrating teenagers.
"Team 1 will be familiar to all, as I thought it would be fun to bring the former champions of last season back! The team is only four members, consisting of Bridgette, Izzy, Cody, and Ezekiel!"
Izzy let out a happy squeal and jumped on Ezekiel's back, startling him and Heather. "Oh boy, we're working together again! Aren't you excited, my Zeke?"
"Will you please get off my boyfriend?" Heather snapped.
"Jeepers, you say that to me a lot," Izzy remarked. "It sounds kind of dirty, don't you know?"
Cody and Bridgette joined them as Izzy eventually climbed down and let go of Ezekiel. Though Bridgette exchanged a few words with Ezekiel, Heather was still glaring at the redhead.
"Team 2 is rather simple," Chris continued. "Emo boy, prediction girl, American kid, wise guy, and Geoff."
"Who's the wise guy?" Geoff asked curiously as he, Clive, Belinda, and Alfred grouped up.
"Noah."
"Oh," said Noah, Arthur, Xander, Sebastian, and Harold all said in unison. The bookworm patted Katie's shoulder before joining his team. "I'm with you again, emo boy?"
"I'm about as happy as you are about it," Clive said.
"No, I don't think I'm that depressed."
Chris waited until Noah joined his team before continuing. "Okay, then. Team 3 will consist of Yoshi, Tyler, Justin, Beth, and Daisy."
"Oh YAY," Beth cheered as she glomped her boyfriend. Justin hugged her back after he recovered, as Daisy approached Yoshi.
"Looks like it's time for you to make your moves on me," Daisy said, grinning slyly at him.
"I'm here to win the competition," he said, crossing his arms. "Not to flirt."
"Not much you can do on the plane, unless you count the mile-high club."
Yoshi turned pink in the face and looked away. Daisy laughed and slapped him on the back.
(Janitor's Closet - Which team am I on?)
Daisy - "It's really funny to tease Yoshi. He's got that warrior complex that makes him almost impervious to emotion except for combat, and when someone flirts with him, he doesn't know what to do. He's so cute though, gorgeous eyes, yummy chest, and he actually makes a guy in a kilt look good! Mrwar."
Cody - "I remember how the four of us took on the ocean! It was fun, we swapped stories, fought monsters, Izzy... wow." \He blushes red.\ "Hehe, best part of the challenge ever."
"Team 4 will consist of Sebastian, Arthur, Sakaki, Valerie, and Howard."
As soon as Chris said this, Sakaki let out a relieved sigh and walked over to Sebastian; she hid behind Sebastian just a little. Arthur rolled his eyes at this, then saw Valerie, and hid behind Sebastian a little too. Valerie glared at him, then saw Howard wiggling his eyebrows at her, and hid behind Sebastian a little too.
"You look like a bodyguard, Sebastian," Leshawna remarked. "Hope you're carrying a gun."
"No, but I do have a strong kick."
"Good enough."
"Team 5 was going to be the quarterfinalists from Total Drama Island," Chris said. "So we're just going to have the semifinalists and two others. Owen, Gwen, Heather, then Mandy and Carol!"
Owen looked stoked, mostly because he was on a team with four girls. Heather looked like she'd rather be in a lion cage; Gwen was thinking the same thing, actually.
"Try to be nice," Heather thought to herself as she approached her new teammates, looking back at Ezekiel briefly. "Try to be nice, he's counting on you to be nicer. Just don't insult them, and they shouldn't be too yucky."
Mandy glanced in-between her teammates when they bunched up. She twirled a sacrificial dagger in her hand and said, "So, we gonna sacrifice the fat one for good luck?"
"Screw that!"
Gwen rolled her eyes, and ended up looking right into Heather's frustrated glare. The two locked, stared at each other for a little bit, then looked away. Heather heard Ezekiel sigh, and the queen bee wondered if this was going to be a really bad challenge.
(Janitor's Closet - They're not gonna get along, are they?)
Heather - "Look, I know that Weird Goth Gi... I mean, Gwen. Gwen and I don't see eye to eye, and I doubt we ever will. I just don't know if sticking us in a car, and on a plane is going to help."
Gwen - "This'll go over like a lead balloon."
Ezekiel - \nervously tapping his fingers together\ "Heather's my girlfriend, and Gwen is my roommate. I really hoo'p that they will just try to get along, eh!"
Carol - \scowling\ "I wasn't the one Mandy was calling 'fat one,' was I? I know my butt's big..."
"Team 6 is going to be fun," Chris Maclean said with that sadistic grin. "It'll be Hannah, Trent, Lindsay, Joel, and Colin!"
Joel tried to hide his happy grin, and it was a lot easier to do Colin bumped him on his way over. "Hey church girl," the bully said with a big grin and not an ounce of pleasantness in his voice, "you'd better not preach to me, because I'm not gonna stand for that."
Hannah shrugged. Joel admired how calm she was, because right now, he wanted to hit Colin with his wrench. And hammer. And power sander. And-
"What is that?" Colin continued, point at the Bible Hannah was holding.
"Well, I want something to read on the plane ride."
"You'd better not thump it at me." Lindsay, who was talking to Trent, looked confused by this. "Why would she hit her Bible?" she asked the musician. "Is it some kind of music or something?"
Hannah continued to smile politely and shake her head at Colin, who wasn't letting up. Joel's eye was starting to twitch, and Trent gripped his shoulder gently. "Just let the jerk vent a little," Trent suggested. "Hannah can take care of herself."
"Yeah, Pamela told me she plays soccer," Lindsay chimed in. "She could kick him where it really hurts men: in the stomach!"
Joel and Trent stared at her as she proudly smiled, then she asked, "Well, it does hurt a man to kick him in the stomach, right?"
"Team 7 would be another four-person team," Chris said, "which will consist of Katie, Courtney, Harold, and Rodney."
The three teenagers looked at each other, wondering how awkward this would be, then Rodney came running up to them. "Aren't you all excited?" he asked. "I love flying, don't you?"
"I get nosebleeds," Harold muttered.
"Oh, here," Rodney dug into his pocket and pulled out a pack of pocket kleenex. "You can use these."
"That's very kind of you, Rodney," Courtney said, beaming at him. She remained unaware that Katie was looking not-so-friendly at the back of her head.
Rodney giggled nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "It's nothing, really!"
(Janitor's Closet - Never gets to fly.)
Courtney - "I love that little kid. I think things will go by just soothingly."
Katie - "I know Harold has forgiven Courtney, but I'm still really mad, and I think it got a little worse over time. I had to vote myself off on account of what she did. I'm just glad I hooked up with Noah first, because that made it all worth it."
Noah - \He is standing there thinking, smiling slightly.\ "I don't know why, but I just feel... really good all of a sudden. And I normally don't."
"Team 8 will be yet another four-man team," Chris Maclean said, "consisting of Xander, Crystal, Leshawna, and Eva."
The four teammates looked unsure, except for Eva and Xander, who high-fived. Crystal immediately approached Eva, and the two started talking about a certain tech-geek. Leshawna noted this, and smirked.
"She really is a romantic, isn't she?" she asked Xander. "Trying to hook up everyone."
"Yeah," the rebel said, stroking his chin in thought. "You know, I always did like blonds."
"You getting romantic on me too, handsome?"
"There's been a lot of love today," he said, chuckling. "Might as well try to keep up that pattern."
"And last but not least," Chris said, clapping his hands, "we have Team 9, which has our remaining contestants: Sadie, DJ, Anita, and Zachary."
The four teenagers looked at each other. Anita and DJ started to talk, but were cut off by a horrified gasp from Sadie. "I just realized," she screamed, "I'm not with Katie for the first time this season! KATIE!"
The other BFFFL stopped glaring at the back of Courtney's head to look at her friend. She waved sadly, and then started to shake. Trying not to cry, she looked for someone to hug. She made a revolted sound when she looked at Courtney, shuddered when she saw Harold and thought of Leshawna, so she instead picked up Rodney and hugged him close to her chest as she sobbed.
This did not go over well with Noah.
"You getting close to my girlfriend?!" he shouted at Rodney, startling everyone who wouldn't expect Noah to yell furiously (which was everyone). "This rivalry has just gone up a little, you little scalawag!"
"Um, Noah?" Alfred said, poking the bookworm's shoulder.
"Dude," Geoff remarked. "You're getting jealous of an eight year-old."
"I highly doubt," Belinda said, "that you're going to lose Katie to him."
"You never know," Clive grumbled. "Always who you least expect."
(Janitor's Closet - Noah vs. Rodney continues!)
Sadie - "How am I supposed to live without Katie? She means more to me than anything in the world! We're not even confessing together now!" \She begins to scream.\
Zachary - \He is looking around, looking disgusted.\ "It feels like 'hysterics' in here."
Alfred - "Dude, Noah was getting jealous of Katie hugging Rodney! Can you believe that?" \He laughs, then goes quiet.\ "Though he does get hugged a lot by girls. I should wear a helmet."
Leshawna - \She's singing, but she's not exactly the best singer.\ "So can you fee-eeeeeel the lu-uuuuuuv too-ni-yiiiiiight?"
Zachary - "Now it smells like bad singing in here!"
"Now, this'll be rather simple, but complex," Chris said. "You see, your pre-challenge is going to be an obstacle course."
He pressed a few buttons, and a large rumbling shook the arena floor. On the northern side, a gigantic obstacle course that stretched from one end to the other rose up. The course consisted of six large parts.
The first part consisted of logs of varying height, made of wiggly nerf kind, and the entrance to the next part raised high. The second part had several, swaying seesaws that someone would have to jump to and from; if the person fell, they would have to climb back up, but the ground wasn't entirely too soft. The third part, the ground was made entirely of flame jets, going off in a certain pattern.
The fourth part was a long conveyer belt with a variation hurdles, flame jets, greased portions, and water sprays. The fifth part was like a ball pit in a kid's fun house, but of varying size and mass; water was spraying in several areas, shooting balls all over. The sixth and final part was many blocks on the floor, being risen in several patterns, some really slow and some really fast, most up very high.
"Well, someone's playing a lot of Mario," Noah snapped, while several people gasped in horror.
"Wow," Izzy gushed, holding Ezekiel close in excitement. "This is like something out of a dream I had! Or when I went jumping rooftops in France!"
"Sometimes I think the reason the USA is in a recession," Gwen muttered, "is because Chris Maclean is blowing enough money to make both countries go broke."
"Now this is what you want, isn't it, Yoshi?" Daisy asked, nudging him playfully. "Challenge, race, danger, excitement?"
"All of that, but less fire," Yoshi said. "I don't want my clothes burned up."
"Now there'd be a sight to see," she said, batting her eyes playfully.
"Stop discussing about how awesome the obstacle course is for a moment," Chris instructed them. "Now here's how we're going to do this: everyone on your team is going through this, but one at a time. You wait until someone goes all the way through, then the next one goes. Once you all go through, you get to pick your car."
Chris motioned to the west side of the arena, where nine cars were parked. They all were a normal kind, fairly brand new, but the one thing that made them special was different numbers painted on the hoods, from sixty to one hundred.
"The number on the car's hood is your maximum KPH," the host explained. "Please take that into careful consideration when you pick."
"Why?" Sebastian asked. "Wouldn't we take the one with the maximum KPH if we finished first?"
"Uh, yeah."
"That's not exactly fair," Justin said. "Several of the teams have only four members, they'll complete sooner than us five-man teams."
"Those teams have less money, considering they only have four peoples' amount on the cash card," Chris said, "which makes the road trips and the rental cars at the second destination harder for them. Now any more questions?"
"Is there any chance someone could go twice through the obstacle course for someone else?" Valerie asked; she was looking at Howard, who was grinning obediently. "I really don't want to go through your playground from Hell."
"Nope! You all go!"
"Damn," Valerie snarled.
"Damn," Izzy cursed.
"Now, all nine teams," Chris exclaimed, "pick your first member, and then we'll start it up. Just to let you all know, in our obstacle course, pushing and shoving and roughhousing are highly encouraged!"
(Janitor's Closet - Can I go first?)
DJ - "That obstacle course was the most frightening...
Sakaki - "... terrifying..."
Justin - "... dangerous..."
Harold - "... incredible and wicked..."
Eva - "... challenging..."
Xander - "... exhilarating..."
Joel - "And if that dickweed continues to rag on Hannah, I swear by the Prince of Space, I'll take my longest screwdriver, and shove it right up his-"
Sebastian - "... quite intimidating..."
Arthur - "... video game inspired madness I've ever seen in my life!"
Joel - "... until he needs a doctor to pull it out again! And wow, do I get violent when I get in this Confessional. I think I spent too much time with Chef last season."
"Okay, people," Chris declared (he sure is getting a lot of lines after every confessional, isn't he?). "Are you ready to start the obstacle course?"
Lined up were Izzy, Alfred, Daisy, Howard, Carol, Hannah, Harold, Eva, and Anita. The nine of them all looked anxious, which was why most of them were first: not many wanted to go.
"On your mark...," the host declared, "get set... GO!"
The race took off with all of the nine contestants taking off, a couple elbows and pushes, and they were on their way through the first part. There were many tumbles and crashes, including one where Alfred almost fell on Hannah.
"Sorry about that," he said to her as she dusted herself off.
"No problem, you did miss." "Say, Hannah? If Colin tries anything, let me know. I want an excuse to hit him."
"You shouldn't be so quick to violence, hon," she said. "Besides, I can take care of myself. And Joel is with me."
"Ah, Joel, he's a good guy," he said, grinning cheerfully. "But then I can hold him and he can hit him!"
The nine charged through the first half with relative ease, only getting slightly singed by the flame jets (Izzy had run right through, giving her the lead and a little trail of smoke coming from her hair). The conveyer belt turned out to be a hassle, and the ball chamber was actually rather fun.
"Take this," Carol shouted, throwing a beach ball at Howard. It bonked off his head, and he chased after him, pelting her with plastic balls.
Eva threw a soccer ball at Hannah, but the religious girl kicked it away; it hit Anita in the side of the head, knocking her over. Daisy tackled Harold, but was unable to keep the lanky nerd pinned down for long.
The last part was a breeze for Izzy, hurrying faster than the blocks could raise. Leaping around like a wild monkey, she was whooping and cheering as the others started on the obstacle course. Howard was thrown into the air and landed on Eva.
"Oh hi-" he started to say before Eva threw him away, higher than the obstacle course threw him. He landed on top of Anita, who groaned in pain.
"Why do I keep getting clobbered?" she asked.
"Man, I wish I had my lacrosse stick," Daisy exclaimed. She had a rather unusual way of racing through the obstacle course: on Alfred's back.
"I cannot believe I'm doing this," he shouted as he continued to run.
"You know you li-iiiiiiike it," she sang, giggling. "Besides, this'll make Yoshi jealous, and you want to get him into this contest, huh?"
"Stop carrying her!! You filthy pervert, I thought better of you!"
"Noah, lay off," Yoshi said, flicking the bookworm's ear.
As Ezekiel took off through the obstacle course after Izzy, the others finally finished too, though Howard was rather bruised. Valerie saw this, and hid behind Arthur.
"I'm so not going through there," she shouted. "He's got bruises all over!"
"Oh yeah, wanna see the ones under my shirt?" he asked, unbuttoning his shirt. Sebastian patted his shoulder, and cleared his throat.
"Keep it on, my friend," he said. "I'll go next."
Anita was putting an ice pack to her head as Zachary took off next. "I'll bet my face is pretty bruised," she muttered.
"Your voice is pretty," Sadie offered, smiling at her teammate.
"Aww, shucks. Thank you, but I know I look bad."
Hannah, gasping for air after the long run, hurried to her teammates. Colin was scoffing as the religious girl stopped to take a breath. "You sure took your sweet time, last out of all of them," he snapped. "I guess God doesn't answer prayers."
"If he did," Joel grumbled, "your mouth would've been sewn shut in your sleep."
"Why don't you go next, Colbert?" Lindsay suggested to Colin.
"Are you kidding? I'm not going!"
"But you have to, eventually! Chris said-"
"I don't care what he said, I ain't going through there!"
His four teammates exchanged frustrated glances, and Trent shrugged his shoulders as he headed for the obstacle, far behind everyone else.
The second members of the teams hurried, but the results were quite a bit more different. Some, like Katie and Owen, were falling all over the place, even in the parts where there wasn't much falling down to do. Some, like Yoshi and Geoff, were doing great jobs.
(Janitor's Closet - Helping with cuts in the progress.)
Eva - "That thing was a piece of cake! I wish more of our contests were like that! Instead of lame things like driving or flying!"
Anita - \still holding an ice pack to the bruise on her forehead\ "Well, I did sign up for this show, knowing what was in stock for me."
Chris Maclean - "Because of the inordinate amount of time it takes to show everyone going through the obstacle course, I'm going to give you all a quick summary of how it went:
First Place - Team 8.
Second Place - Team 1.
Third Place - Team 3.
Fourth Place - Team 4.
Fifth Place - Team 7.
Sixth Place - Team 9.
Seventh Place - Team 2.
Eighth Place - Team 5.
Last Place - Team 6, mainly because they haven't all gone yet, still!"
(Team 6 - Colin, Joel, Hannah, Lindsay, Trent.)
"Dude, now I'm begging you," Chris Maclean implored Colin. "Everyone else left the stadium. You have to go."
"No, and you know why?" the bully said. "Because since everyone has gone, I don't technically have to go."
"Those were the rules!"
"Rules were made to be broken," Colin said, cracking his knuckles. "You yourself agree to that philosophy."
While Chris contemplated what sounded to him like very reasonable logic (but not very reasonable to anyone else, Colin's teammates were getting very impatient."
"We have, like, the slowest car," Lindsay wailed. "And I hate that shade of green, it makes me nauseous just looking at it."
"Dude, you've taken this way too far," Trent said, crossing his arms.
"What makes you think you'll get away with this?" Joel snapped. "I mean, seriously, if we lose, you think we won't vote you off?"
"I implore to your good nature, Colin," Hannah said, her voice steady and calm. "Please just go through the obstacle course so that we may continue-"
"See that? See that?!" Colin shouted, interrupting Hannah and pointing accusingly at her. "She's preaching at me! That's religious prosecution! Just like the Spanish Inquisition."
"Gee, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition," Joel remarked sarcastically.
Lindsay blinked, and asked, "Wait, Hannah's Spanish?"
"Chris, do something about her," Colin demanded of the host. "She's pushing her religion on me, and I shouldn't have to tolerate that."
Trent, Lindsay, and Joel all were rather annoyed by Colin's behavior, and it only increased when Colin shot Hannah a sadistic grin while he complained to Chris Maclean. What worried them was that Chris was tapping his chin in thought, as if to contemplate this. He started calling someone on a cell phone.
"Ha, take that, church girl," Colin shouted at Hannah, grinning victoriously. "I won't have you forcing your ideals on me. You guys are just as bad as the Spanish Inquisition, you know that?"
"The Spanish Inquisition," Joel declared, feeling his temper ebb away, "ended over five hundred and thirty years ago."
"Doesn't mean I can't be bitter about it."
"Dude," Trent said, his normally calm voice seething with frustration, "you're being a jerk. Please, just will you-"
"Okay then, people," Chris said, getting off his cell phone. "Hannah, I have been told by our fair, open-minded, and kindhearted producer that you are not allowed to harass Colin any further."
"Yeah, Ms. Mosquito Bite Chest," Colin said to her, smirking.
"This is bull," Joel shouted, throwing his hands up. "Unsaturated, unadulterated bullsh-"
Hannah patted his shoulder, offering him a smile. She turned to Chris, and merely shrugged and nodded. "I believe I can refrain from that."
"Oh, and also," the host said, glancing at his cell phone as if it was watching him; he held out his hand to Hannah. "Our producer would like for you not to bring your Bible on the trip."
"What?!" Hannah exclaimed, clenching her holy book to her chest.
"I don't want to hear her reading it out loud," Colin said, then struck an "overwhelmed" pose that really didn't suit him. "It might prove to be distressing."
Joel was taking deep, hissing breaths in fury as Hannah sighed and handed her Bible to Chris. "This is the most insensitive thing I have ever seen in my life," he spat. "Are you trying to bring back the Spanish Inquisition, in reverse?"
Trent slapped his forehead as Chris tucked Hannah's Bible under his arm. "This is ridiculous, Chris," he muttered. "Can Colin just please go through the obstacle course now?"
"Actually," the host said, "I think I have to agree with him. Since you're in last place, he doesn't need to go."
"Man," Chef Hatchet grumbled. "Even I'm starting to get upset by this."
"And I'm driving, you bunch of dorks," Colin shouted, his triumphant grin as wide as possible.
They walked to their car, Joel fuming and Trent trying to pat his shoulder in comfort. Hannah walked with her arms behind her back, and Lindsay was starting to worry about her; the blond may have heard a lot of negative things about Christians from her father, but was getting to really like Hannah.
Lindsay tapped Hannah's shoulder to get her to face her. "Hey um, Tamara," she said nervously, "I know it doesn't seem fair and all, but I want you to know that I'll keep you company. I really like Spanish people, my favorite maid is Spanish at home! So..."
She hugged Hannah, and said cheerfully, "Olé, and Feliz Navidad, Tamara!"
"Thank you," she said, smiling back at Lindsay. Joel watched all this, and couldn't help but smile.
"Oh, she's so cute," he thought, drumming his fingers against his knuckles. "It makes me forget about my unnatural bloodlust!"
(Team 9 - Anita, DJ, Sadie, Zachary)
"You all okay with flying?" Anita asked the others as she drove.
"I'm good," Sadie said, "but I don't think DJ is."
She was right now holding DJ's hand, and he was holding it back. Him nervous about flying coupled with her nervous about being Katie-less was making them almost cling to each other. Zachary was looking back at them with disgust.
"Brother, why are you clinging to that white woman?" he asked DJ.
"What's wrong with white women, huh?" Anita asked. It was meant to be playful teasing, but Zachary didn't take it as such.
"Oh, so you white women think you're the best, huh? Is that how it is?"
Anita hit her forehead against his steering wheel, sighing as a dull throb of pain from hitting the bruise shook her skull. "I'm stuck in a car," she thought bitterly, "with two terrified cowards and an easily offended whiner. We're never gonna get through airport security."
(Team 8 - Crystal, Eva, Leshawna, Xander)
"Man, I love this car," Eva gushed for the fifth time. "I could drive it all day! Forget the plane!"
"Naw, girl, I love flying," Leshawna remarked. "Please don't take that from me."
Xander and Crystal chuckled from the back. The rebel rubbed his facial scar as he looked at her, then cleared his throat. "I've heard," he said, "that you're a big-time romantic."
"And I've heard," she said, smiling at him, "that you prefer blondes."
"Guilty as charged. But how'd you know?"
"I read your profile. I actually read everyone's, just for fun and matchmaking," she explained. She turned towards him, her grin getting wider. "You're rather interesting and mysterious, Mr. Xander."
"Why thank you," he replied, grinning right back. "Actually, the scar's no mystery, everyone back home knows how I got it, they just didn't put it up on the profile."
Crystal laughed. "Wow, a secret that everyone knows. You know what I think?"
"No, what, babe?"
"I think you and Carol would be a great couple!"
As Crystal started to fantasize over this, Xander blinked and lost his grin. He stared at her confused and said, "Um, what?"
"Carol, the gal who wants to be a police officer! She's blond too, and she adventurous," Crystal explained. "Oh, she's rather cute too, and she's kind of a rebel! The more I think of it, the more I bloody love it!"
As she gushed on, Xander stared at her. "Now that's a first," he thought to himself. "I flirt with her and she immediately tries to set me up... with someone else."
(Janitor's Closet - Happens to the best of us, Mr. Xander.)
Crystal - "Xanrol.... no no no, Carder... no, that's no good either. Man, if I cannot think of a good nickname for that couple, what hope do they have?!"
(Team 7 - Courtney, Harold, Katie, Rodney)
The drive was going okay, yet there was a terrible tension in the air, provided by Katie and Courtney. The two girls were sitting in front, Katie at the wheel, and Courtney studying the map. Every so often, their eyes would meet, scowls would form, and invisible sparks, flames, and daggers would shoot out.
Harold and Rodney weren't exactly enjoying it, because even though those sparks, flames, and daggers were nonexistent, they could feel themselves almost getting hit by the wide shoots and ricochets.
"I'm very scared," Rodney whimpered, clinging to Harold's shirt. The nerd patted his helmet in comfort, though he was hugging it in terror as well.
"So am I, little bro," he whispered, "so am I."
(Janitor's Closet - We're scared too, and we're not even in the car!)
Rodney - "Harold was telling me a little thing about 'girl whispering' in the back, though I didn't really get that. All I know is that when girls get mad, they're the most frightening thing in the world; strange how that fact is never brought up in biology, beginner or advanced."
(Team 1 - Bridgette, Cody, Ezekiel, Izzy.)
"Okay, we're here," Cody said as he hopped out of the car. "The airport! We've parked in the right area, right?"
"I think so," Bridgette said as she stepped out. "The big sign out in front of the airport that said, 'Contestants of TDB, please park in Lot 27' was clear enough."
"I would think there would be paparazzi here, or something," Cody remarked, looking around and also seemingly disappointed. Bridgette arched an eyebrow at him.
"Oh, don't you have enough screaming fans?" she joked.
"Anita and Eva are hardly 'screaming' fans."
"Touché. Now we just need to find out how much is on our cash card," she said as she pulled said item from her jacket pocket, "and get us a couple seats. It's almost noon, we might get the first flight out of here!"
"Right, are we forgetting anything?"
"I don't think so... Ezekiel?"
"We've got a problem here, eh!"
Bridgette and Cody looked back at the car to see Ezekiel trying desperately to pull Izzy out of it. Her nails had lodged into the back seat, causing big punctures and tears.
"I'm not going on a flying death trap," Izzy screamed. "It's the last thing Izzy will do! Izzy would rather die! Why does Ezekiel want Izzy to die?!"
"Izzy, c'mon," Ezekiel grunted, pulling harder. Eventually, the car seat couldn't be held onto from the long rips, and Izzy and Ezekiel fell backwards. The redhead struggled and ran back to the car, but Ezekiel grabbed her again to stop her.
"We're gonna miss 'oor flight, eh," he strained to say. "Please Izzy, I promise you won't get hurt on the flight..."
He stopped when he realized Izzy had stopped struggling. Letting out a sigh of relief, he said, "Okay, Izzy, just be calm. It's okay, eh, I'm here."
"You just can't keep your hands off me, can you, my Zeke?"
Ezekiel was puzzled when Izzy looked around at him, a faint blush on her face and an impish grin on her lips. He looked down to see that in his attempt to grab hold of Izzy, his hands were gripping her breasts.
"Zekey," Izzy said in fake scolding as Ezekiel let go as if her breasts were on fire. "You naughty boy you, I know I'm hard to resist, but... well, actually, maybe I cannot blame you."
Ezekiel was bright red as Izzy cupped her own breasts and examined them, so proud of her "girls." Bridgette had her hands over her mouth in shock, and Cody was grinning at Ezekiel proudly.
"It was an accident?" the prairie boy whimpered.
"Don't say that," Izzy teased him. "I might think I'm not that hot, and you don't want it on your conscious that I think I'm ugly because of you, do you, my Zeke?"
--
--
--
So how will the teams react on the planes? How will they fare with security? Can some of them even get past security?
Will love continue to be in the air? Will any new romances form during this challenge, and at thirty thousand feet?
Is Izzy hot? And just how bad do you want to sock Colin, huh? C'mon, you know you want to! Hell, we want to!
--
Challenge 4, Frequent Flyer's Wiles, The Teams:
Team 1 - Bridgette, Izzy, Ezekiel, Cody
Team 2 - Clive, Belinda, Alfred, Noah, Geoff
Team 3 - Yoshi, Daisy, Tyler, Justin, Beth
Team 4 - Sebastian, Arthur, Sakaki, Valerie, Howard
Team 5 - Owen, Gwen, Heather, Mandy, Carol
Team 6 - Hannah, Colin, Trent, Lindsay, Joel
Team 7 - Katie, Courtney, Harold, Rodney
Team 8 - Xander, Crystal, Leshawna, Eva
Team 9 - Sadie, DJ, Anita, Zachary
--
Next - Airport security, and boarding the plane!