A/N: It all changes right here. duhn, duhn, duhnnnnn

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A Guiding Heart

True Blood

Chapter 20

I was in Idaho when Charlie called me again, begging me to tell him where I was. Before leaving Forks, I had raced over to the hotel, only to find out Edward had done an online checkout. On the phone, Charlie had told me to let him go, that his note said not to try to follow him, but here I was driving across the country, making it to Idaho because what did Charlie know? He didn't know what Edward had said to me last night and today on the phone. I tried to think of what this would feel like for a human, for him, to find out that monsters not only exist, but that he had essentially co-existed with one, called her baby, and imagined a future with her. I was still me though, the girl he dreamily said out loud that he loved. He had to at least give me a chance to explain, leave the door open to my words, didn't he? Didn't he owe us that much? My body felt hollow, like an empty glass, but incapable of holding anything and ready to shatter. The cherry bomb slowed to a stop on the side of the road and I wondered what I was doing. There was no use to this chase. Edward was a human key mismatched to my vampire lock. I opened the door and lithely rolled out onto the side of the road, hung my head over the pavement and dry heaved.

Distraught and miserable, I climbed back into the cherry bomb and turned the car around but decided not to go home. I ended up in Alaska with the Denali Clan and spent two days on a bender, going through their latest batch of cocktails made out of human blood.

On the third day, I laid on a bed in their spare room, that seemed to spin nonstop, cursing the hangover, when Tanya came in. "Are you ready to talk about it?" she asked in a motherly way, pulling back the mauve curtains to their guest room and letting in what little sunlight they were getting that day.

I groaned but then saw a hint of her face sparkle, reminding me of why Edward left.

She produced a thermos offering that if I drank it, it could help. "Consider this a hangover cure. By the way, I've let the Cullens know you're here. Esme was worried sick about you, girl."

I drank it down and waited for my head to clear. These hangovers were worse than anything I remembered as a human. Aunt Tanya left me for a short while to allow it to work then returned asking if I was ready to talk. She waited patiently on a soft blue reclining chair that sat opposite the bed I was sitting on.

"He left me," I confessed to Tanya.

"Your human . . . Edward?" she asked to confirm.

I nodded. "No explanation. No goodbye. He just took off. It's more than just about me. He's sick. He was working in the area. I just don't know what to do."

"Can I ask you a question?" Tanya posed, to which I nodded yes before she continued. "What did you think was going to happen with a human?"

"I- … I don't know. But he made it so easy to believe anything could happen." I played with the lid of the thermos repetitively.

"I've already explained to you how I operate. There is nothing long term. No feelings. No future. My approach is fast and furious with no attachment, but you Bella, I suspect you approached this as if you were still human, perhaps because you are only recently a vampire."

"I couldn't help it Tanya. I felt like he pursued me, and I enjoyed it. You should have heard the things he said to me," I cried. "Words any girl would have loved to hear. Romantic gestures, too. Look, he gave me these."

I showed her the earrings that I had to physically touch to make sure they were still there and not lost in my past couple of rough days.

Tanya took a look at the earrings and agreed they were significant in human terms. She sighed, as if my situation somehow exhausted her and there was no use to it. "Have you tried calling him?"

I shook my head no, explaining that he left his phone behind at Charlie's house, where he had been staying. As I spoke, I felt the effects of the remedy kicking in, my hangover lessening overall. My vision even seemed to get sharper.

"Do you want my advice?" she asked. I nodded uneasily, unsure if she was going to say to just forget about him. "Ever hear about if you love something you have to let it go and if it comes back to you, it's yours forever? Of course you have, but it's hard to hear that in a time like this, isn't it?" she sighed as a stream of sunlight flashed across her cheek.

I smiled gently in agreement.

"Knock, knock," came a sweet voice I didn't recognize at the door.

"Oh Rosie," Aunt Tanya said enthusiastically. "Let me introduce you to my brother's youngest. This is Isabella. This is Rosie."

"Hello!" she said cheerfully as she leaned against the door jamb. "I had heard I missed you the last time you were out this way." So this was Rosalie - tall, blonde, and with her amber eyes looking brighter than mine ever did.

"It's nice to meet you," I said quietly.

"Bella here has man troubles," Aunt Tanya said.

"So I heard. Oh not to have been nosy or anything, it's just easy to hear everything in this house," she cupped her hand over her mouth to say the last part like it was a secret. "I don't have a great track record when it comes to men - in my human or vampire life. They always think I'm too serious and my persona doesn't match the exterior. Whatever! I can't offer you advice, but I'm willing to tune up, change the oil, or even detail that beautiful red car of yours, if you'll let me."

I smiled at Rosie. "You fix up cars?" I asked surprised.

"It's just a hobby that keeps my hands busy."

"And Rosalie dances when she wants to keep her feet busy," Aunt Tanya said to which Rosalie did a quick little tap number then we all laughed.

"Sure, that would be fine. And thank you!" I said, giving her the okay to fiddle with my car but admitting I didn't know where the keys were. She held them up in her hand, swinging the keychain and waved goodbye after saying how it was nice to meet me. Aunt Tanya laughed that it was nice to give Rosalie something to do before she went back to the advice.

"Perhaps time will tell with your Edward, especially if you said he has a job out your way? Surely that will have to bring him back to the area at some point, won't it?"

Yes! His job! I suddenly wanted to get back to the park to see how he left his office trailer. Maybe I could find a company card there that I could call his boss. I could have Jasper call and say he represented the park. I could get Jasper to go to Chicago to talk to Edward for me. Groan! My head felt ready to burst with all the thoughts running through it and the remaining bit of hangover.

"I'm going to stay until this hangover is gone and then travel back to Forks," I told Aunt Tanya. "Thank you for putting me up, but thank you more for putting up with me." I grinned. Tanya gave me a hug and told me to treat their home as a sanctuary where I would always be welcome, which was good because if I wasn't going to be living with the Cullens and with painful memories in Forks, moving to Denali was certainly looking like a viable option.

In the morning before I left, I spoke briefly with Carmen about Edward's Ferris wheel project. She told me how interested she was in seeing it being constructed as she was in seeing the final project. She offered her help to me in any way I might need. "Don't let this polished exterior fool you," she said, "I have no problem rolling up my sleeves and getting my hands dirty."

On the way home, I called Alice. She filled me in that Garrett and Kate had gotten to see each other and that the family needed to talk to me now that they knew more details about the situation with the Volturi. "I'm sorry, Daph. I know you must be going through a hard time right now. And I was split right in half about whether to come to Denali or not, but Aunt Tanya said she would look after you. How are you?"

"I'm ... a mess? I'm an idiot. I just wasted a couple days of my life!"

"What's a couple of days when you have infinity, Bella?"

"I don't know how he found out, Alice. I feel like I probably deserve this and should just let him go. I just don't know how to do that. Not after the amazing things we said and felt with each other," I cried out. "Tell me how I do that!"

"I can't tell you, sweetie. All I can say is come home and give it some time. It's not going to be easy. Maybe in a week or so we could send Jasper there to talk to him. In Chicago. Did he tell Charlie anything more?"

"I'm not sure. In fact, I'm going to call him now. I'll see you soon." I wasn't sure what Rosalie had done to my car, but it was running quieter and faster than I had remembered.

I was relieved to hear Alice offer that sending Jasper to Chicago was a good idea, if Edward didn't want to see me. If Edward wouldn't see me. Did he suspect Jasper and Alice were vampires, too? Maybe Jasper would just go spy on him, make sure he is okay.

Alice and I said our goodbyes, but not before she brought up the vision she had had about him leaving. In my romantic whirlwind, I had overlooked it, or perhaps told myself that his choice to be with me had changed her vision. Alice says that can happen. I've been a little too preoccupied, and Alice admitted that she hoped things had changed. Or maybe I had painted myself into the vision as a passenger in his car that she saw leaving Forks. I shook those thoughts out of my head. I couldn't wait to get to the SSA to check his office. Would he have stopped there before he left? I had to call Charlie to find out whatever I could from him.

"Dad," I said into the phone. "It's me. Sorry I haven't talked to you in a couple of days."

"Bella, I know I'm not supposed to worry about you but . . ."

"I'm okay, Dad."

"Good. Listen kid, I'm at work and something just came up, so I can't talk right now but I'm glad you called."

"Dad, wait!" It felt like he was just about to hang up. "I need to know more about Edward leaving."

"Not much to tell you, kid. Have you heard from him?"

"No, I haven't," I replied meekly.

"Yeah, and I don't think you will. I'm sorry," he said apologetically.

But why! "Why do you think that, Dad? I need to know what he said or saw or told you. Anything Dad, please!"

"Uhh, listen kid, he just seemed in a hurry to leave and irritated. I've got to go now. I've got a report of a disturbance just outside of town. Can't talk now. Talk to you real soon."

With that Charlie abruptly hung up, which seemed a bit uncharacteristic for him unless there was something big going on down at the station, but for now I would let him work.

I sped straight through Forks, trying to outmaneuver any police or pedestrians, and to Port Angeles, parking the cherry bomb in the SSA's lot with an abrupt jolt and running to Edward's on-site office. Upon entry into the trailer, I found it to be mostly cleared out. Except for his scent. In such a tight space, his scent filled it completely. The cabinets were unlocked, and the plans were gone. Empty. All signs of him gone. I sat down on the couch, picking up the small throw pillow and clenching it tightly to me, until I ripped it. White stuffing popped out, blowing everywhere.

Fuck!

If I could cry, I would have. Closing my eyes, I inhaled his scent and remembered sweet memories of us sitting on this couch. What had he noticed about me then? My cold nose when our faces touched? My cold lips when our mouths kissed? I had to do something! I was going to find out the name of the company whose employee was here and then head to Chicago. I was going to confront him. I stood up angrily.

And then what? Explain to him why I'm a vampire? No human could handle that kind of truth.

I sunk back down into the couch and pillow stuffing. As I scanned the trailer, I spotted something taped to the inside of the door. In a flash, I snagged it-an envelope with a note inside.

Bella,

Don't try to contact me. Whatever you thought we started is over. I mean this-stay away from me.

E-

I sank to my knees in agony, dropping onto the trailer's hard floor, silently screaming in my head. Forsaken and rejected firmly. I knew if I truly had much left of my human heart, it would be broken right now. A swollen muscle, aching from this - wondering how I was going to get over him. If I could explain it to him, how could I even ask him to understand? The way I made his heart feel was something I had hoped would be on my side in all of this, transcend what I am, what I knew he'd someday see me as.

What a royal vampire fool I've been!

Hours went by as I remained numb and curled in a ball on the floor of the trailer, my eyes squeezed tightly shut and my hand secured around his letter to me until I felt strong arms wrapped around me, cradling me and carrying me. With my eyes closed, I prayed it was Edward's arms.

"You came back," I cried out but the scent wasn't his.

"What the hell are you doing to yourself Bluebells? Is this all over some human?"

Emmett. I turned away from him.

"Emmett," I said, feeling some sort of relief that it was him after our recent unpleasant exchange and yet disappointment that it couldn't be Edward. "You don't understand."

"Yeah I know. He left," he said matter-of-factly.

"And what then are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be mad at me?"

"No Bluebells. I could never be mad at you," he laughed. "Well I could be, but I can't stay mad at you. Right now I'm taking some serious fucking pity on you. We all get to fall down, but if you're a true Cullen, someone in your family will be there to pick you up. Even literally, as the case may be, with your sorry ass right now. Boy are you a sight for sore eyes!"

I was clutching the note to me as he carried me all the way back to the cherry bomb and placed me gently inside the passenger's seat.

"You weren't answering your phone, so Esme sent out a search party. Though I think she was a little more concerned that you might be out destroying stuff. There has been some unrest over by the treaty line with the wolves today."

The wolves! "Take me to the wolves. Just toss me over the treaty line Emmett, and let them put me out of my misery," I whined. "Once and for all."

"Stop that, Bella! You're talking nonsense." He closed my car door, went around and got in the driver's seat putting his hand out for me to give him the keys. "I'm taking you back to the Cullen house to rest for awhile and then we'll go out hunting. It's amazing what some good bear blood can do for you." He grinned over at me trying to be cute and funny, but I didn't want cute and funny Emmett right now. I wanted to forget this pain that vibrated through me and the numbing stings that it left. No animal's blood was going to bring back Edward.

Just before he started the car, he sniffed at my keys looking back and forth between me and the keys. "Who has been in your car, Bella?"

"No one," I said. I hadn't given anyone a ride.

"Someone with a hell of a pretty flowery scent has been in your car. Don't you smell that?"

I shrugged too distraught to care. And with that Emmett took off back to the Cullen house.

Esme had other ideas for me when we were back at the house. "A broken heart requires busy work," she told me as she encouraged me to tend to the garden shrubs, reminding me that that is where I spent much of my time after my transformation. I somehow felt like this was punishment for going on a bender and seeking refuge with the Denali clan. So I sat outside in the garden on the bench not doing anything but staring out into the forest remembering the day Edward had come out here. Remembering how he had kissed me. Remembering how he had come after me. I sat there lost in my time with Edward until Alice, Jasper, and Emmett came to take me out hunting.

I didn't ask Emmett where Victoria was. I didn't much care. They led me deep into the forest behind our house, and I was bothered by every twig that dared get in my way as I ran, intent on hurting a tree trunk or two. Or five. At one point Emmett looked at me disapprovingly.

"What?" I shrugged. All we had were deer in the immediate area. Though Emmett pressed for us to go further. "Who cares what we eat anyway," I pouted then added in, "as long as it's not human blood, right?" I threw mental daggers at Emmett about his girlfriend but he was too involved with playing with a bird to really catch on.

Alice tried to fill me in on Kate and Garrett's reunion after a long separation, ending it with a sympathetic, "Maybe there's hope for you and Edward. Garrett is still around, by the way. He's in and out, working with Carlisle on something, but I'm sure you'll get a chance to meet him soon."

Goody, I thought. Can't wait to see the people that Carlisle actually feels are worthy of helping. Someone wanted by the Volturi it seemed.

"He says he did see you in the forest. He's laying very low and didn't know who you were so he didn't approach you."

"Oh! So that's who it must have been when I was . . ." I stopped myself from continuing. Alice did not need to know that I had made a visit to Justin's house. She wouldn't understand anyway.

"When you were where?" she pressed.

"Just out and about," I replied. "Hunting."

After we had been out for what seemed like forever, the gang figured out that this wasn't really helping my mood. Jasper perked up anyway, hearing or feeling something that I certainly did not. I could see him focus toward one area of the forest, then suggested it was time to leave. As we ran back, I reminded all of them that there was no way I was staying at the Cullen house, that I would be returning to Charlie's and my reasoning why. It wasn't to punish anyone, it was just to help me sort things out of where I was in this new life and what I had just lost. It felt like I had just done all that! Hadn't I just gone through the trouble of throwing out the old life SSA stuff? Hadn't I already stepped away far away from that old life?

"So where's scarlett Vicky at?" I asked Emmett. "Is she the one who was causing a disturbance by the treaty line? Is your girlfriend so willing to get us into trouble with the wolves?"

"Hey you be nice. I've gone out of my way for you today! Besides, she's out of the area right now," Emmett growled at me. And he had every right to do so. I was just feeling sorry for myself and trying to take a little of it out on him. Though I was still pissed about that weekend he neglected to keep an eye on Charlie. Fuck! What was it Charlie had mentioned earlier?

"Hey listen guys, I'm going to go over to check on Charlie and let him see that I'm okay. Sorry Em."

"Bella, do you want company?" Jasper asked diplomatically. "Maybe I could help . . ."

I put my hand up to signal that I didn't want any of his supernatural mojo. "No thanks, Jazz. I'll be okay on my own for a bit. I promise."

"But wasn't it just earlier today that Emmett found you curled up on the floor like a . . . "

"Yeah, Jazz, I know, that was me, earlier. And, I don't know, maybe that will be me again tomorrow or a week from now. These overwhelming vampire emotions are more of a roller coaster than the Scorpion Swirl down at the SSA! But damn it, I think I need to run right now."

"Just no more running away," said Alice. "Despite everything that has happened, I still have a wedding to plan, and you are a big part of it. Don't desert me."

"I'll be local."

With that I took off, flashing past the front of the house and heading to the treaty line. I wasn't going to cross it, but I sure did want to try to find out what was going on out there today and then make sure Charlie was okay. Oh fuck! I had this all in reverse. I needed to make sure Charlie was okay first. I pulled out my phone and called him again.

"Hey Isabella," he answered.

"Dad, hi, I just wanted to let you know I'm back in town. Is everything okay with you?"

"Yeah, umm Billy Black said there was some noise and trespassing on the reservation that we checked out but didn't find anything today. We took it seriously because he doesn't usually call us. They kind of take care of their own down that way."

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Any word from Edward?" he asked, to which I replied no, hoping he had something more to tell me but nothing. "Look I'm pulling a double shift tonight so I'm not sure when I'll see you next," he said. "But you are welcome to the house."

"Thanks, Dad." I think.

"Don't feel you have to do anything special for me, you know with the cooking or laundry."

"Umm, okay." That's strange. Charlie never before had proactively denounced anything I contributed to the house.

"Gotta go now, Isabella."

Why did he keep calling me Isabella? That's not like him. I shook my head as I heard the connection click. I barely said bye before he had hung up, but our conversation pushed me to run farther and faster through the forest pushing toward the treaty line. The Cullens had taught me how to run through the forest with finesse so as not to disturb more of it than necessary, but as I approached the treaty line I found an enormous amount of branches that had been snapped off, divots in the trunks of trees and even some uprooting. This seemed beyond a careless vampire, though. This seemed like a fight. And I was sure Victoria had been there and left her scent behind. And another scent that I had encountered recently.

"Cross that line, and I'll kill you!" growled a voice full of spite. "I mean it, Vampella!"

Paul emerged from the trees in human form. He was Jacob's best friend and just as cocky, now carrying a chip on his shoulder since Jacob's death I assumed.

"I'm not crossing the treaty line, Paul. I'm just trying to make sure my dad is okay," I lied, knowing Charlie wasn't there.

"Yeah he was out here earlier, but the scuffle we had with your friends was over by then."

"I'm sorry, who? My friends?" I asked.

"Yeah, make sure you tell your friends this is our land. It's sacred, and we'll kill to protect it."

I stood face-to-face with Paul, nothing but an imaginary line separating us, when I remembered him with Jacob and the rest of their gang in the pizzeria that day Justin told me off. It was Paul who stood there like Jacob's second in command. The memory infuriated me, as did the thought of Jacob.

"I'm surprised you can make any decisions without Jacob around anymore. You always did follow him around like a little lost puppy. Hung onto his every word," I teased. Instantly I watched the vibrations of his body starting.

"Get out of here now!" he warned. "And warn your friends to stay the hell off our land!"

In a blink I had moved a good twenty feet away from the treaty line, laughing. Human Bella was no match against Jacob that day in woods while my father fished. But vampire Bella wouldn't hesitate to kill him before he had a chance to fully phase into a wolf. "I'm leaving to save you, more than to save myself. You'd lose to me, Paul. Without a doubt."

That did it, he fully morphed into a wolf, but I was already speeding away through the forest without that coward following me. I only slowed down when I caught a whiff of a vampire. I didn't know who he meant were my friends, but I now suspected Garrett had been involved in an altercation. Did this have something to do with the Volturi too? Did he just cross the treaty line because he wasn't from around here?

I heard muffled moans coming from up ahead. As I scanned the area, I spotted the old wooden platform, like the base of a treehouse. It was a makeshift lookout up in a tree that Alice had told me once that Carlisle had built in the early days of his moving to this area. It was used to monitor the wolves. As I neared the tree, the vampire scent got stronger. Wait, I recognize this scent. This was the scent I caught when I was in Port Angeles. And another time. That night after we left the bar.

More muffled moaning. This vampire was in some kind of pain?

"Hello? I called out from the bottom of the tree before slowly climbing it. No response was given, except a softer moan. "Garrett? Is that you? It's okay, I'm one of the Cullens. I can help you."

About halfway up I jumped to the nearby tree, trying to approach cautiously, climbing until I was on the same level as the platform.

I could only see his back, his arm clutching his side. He wriggled in pain.

"It's okay. Tell me what's wrong, and I can try to help you," I said again. "Oh my God, were you in a fight with the wolves? You were, weren't you! Man I should go rip them to shreds! Does Kate know?"

Seconds passed by like hours as I watched his frequent jerky moments, like he was having spasms of pain. My doctor instinct was to get closer to examine him, and I slowly inched my way across a long tree branch that just ended at the platform. I could call Carlisle, but I wouldn't be able to answer any of his questions.

"Garrett, it's okay. I'm just going to take a look at you, and then I'll call Carlisle."

His moans continued, softly, but not less alarming. I saw how his dark leather jacket had slits in it, indicating to me at least, that the wolves had gotten a few good swipes at him with their claws. His long dirty sandy-colored hair was pulled back into a ponytail that whipped back and forth with each jerking of his body. As I reached the end of the tree branch, I reached out tentatively but didn't want to scare him.

"My name is Bella. I practice medicine with Carlisle. I grew up in this area. I've known the Cullens for a lot of years. Carlisle turned me, quite recently." I said trying to gain his trust. "Please, can you just turn toward me so I can take a look at you?"

Though his pain didn't stop, his moaning did, and very slowly he turned to face me.

"Easy now, Garrett," I tried to comfort him as my hand reached out to spot support his shoulder as he turned.

"My name's not Garrett. It's James."

Oh! I pulled back immediately, but as he turned, I couldn't help feeling like I recognized the features of his face. The chiseled jaw and the stubble that lined it. His ears and the shape of his mouth. His high forehead. The outline of his narrowed dark red eyes against the alabaster color of his skin. These features were exaggerated to perfection compared to what my mind wanted to match it up to.

In a flash I jumped backward, almost losing my balance on the tree branch, horrified by what I saw! No! No! No, it can't be! The memory of his face screamed in my head, Direct match, direct match!

"Are you... am I …" I tried to find the words but I couldn't fully say it.

His hand stretched out toward me, and his eyes rolled back slightly into his head.

As if with his last amount of being he said weakly, "Help me," before letting out a soft moan and closing his eyes. I approached him again, tentatively, taking his hand, then nearing him just close enough that I could reach out and smooth my other hand along his jaw.

Was it a direct match to him? I had been fooled once before recently - inexplicably - and I didn't know if my mind would, or even could, trick me again.

"Justin?"