A/N: Who expected that?

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

A Guiding Heart

Wheel of Fortune

Chapter 21

He opened his eyes enough to see me. "Just Bella?" he said in a strained, yet incredulous, tone.

"No!" I let out a cry. Not him. Not like this. "I mean, yes, it's me, but please….please say it's not you, Justin."

"Yeah, it's me," he said as he winced in pain.

Some kind of pain seared through me that this could have happened to him, too. "Oh God, you're hurt, aren't you?"

"Help me, Bella. They're after me," he begged groggily.

"Who...the wolves?"

He didn't answer, instead grasping his side and holding it firmly. Where could I take him without putting everyone I love in danger? The cottage.

I pulled him into my arms, cradling him, easily jumped off the platform, and landed gently before I took off running with Justin. Holding him securely, I checked over my shoulder to see if Paul or any of his friends had decided to cross the line and follow us. Justin seemed to have lost consciousness or was in a nonresponsive state.

Just before I reached the cottage, I laid him down on the ground and checked around. Kate was gone. Garrett was still in the area, but not necessarily staying at the cottage. Esme forgive me, I thought to myself as I broke into the cottage and carried Justin in. I laid a blanket across the couch and placed Justin there gently. I opened his jacket and shirt to fully see the wounds left by the wolves.

"They aren't threatening, but I need to clean these. Justin? Justin? Can you hear me?"

Still in an unresponsive state, I carried him to the bathtub, removed his clothes and cleaned him thoroughly, spitting my venom on a few of his deeper wounds. Good thing I was a medical professional.

What's this? He had a small raised area on his chest in the form of a jagged line, almost like a human scar, but the look of the area wasn't different or disrupted the way a human scar would be.

I let the water drain from the tub and told him I'd be back. Setting out into the forest, I ran as fast as I could to the Cullen house and retrieved bandages and extra clothes. I was just about out of the house when I had an attack of conscience. Here I was going to help Justin. Who was helping the wolves? That's when Jasper caught me.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm helping someone. He's hurt. And keep your voice down."

"Is it Edward? Is he back? Besides, I'm the only one here."

I looked in the fridge, grabbing some spare animal blood we kept in a thermos and a container of the platini cocktail mixture Kate had brought. Perfect, I thought.

"No, it's not him. Go grab one of your shirts and pants and come with me. I think you can help."

"Okay, where are we going? Whoa! What is that I'm feeling off of you woman? Is that the nostalgia thing, again? It's bouncing all through you!"

Jasper retrieved the items but asked more questions.

"Just follow me," I directed.

We headed out of the Cullen house and ran through the forest to the cottage as quickly as possible. I could hear Jasper telling me to wait up, I was running so fast.

Once back inside, I tended to Justin's wounds. Vampire wounds were different than human flesh, definitely not as messy, but there were cracks and tears that could be cleansed and bandaged together in order to heal more quickly. After dressing him, I carried Justin to the couch and sat him upright. Justin moaned.

"Okay, hit him with your mojo," I directed Jasper. Jasper examined and sniffed.

"I already have. This is the vampire that I sensed suffering while we were out the other night. Who is he?" he asked.

"Really?" I asked surprised, my eyes widened, wondering just how long he had been fighting with the wolves. I sighed, not ready to give it all up to Jasper. "He's the guy the lighter is tied to. His name is Justin."

"And he's a vampire now? Unfuckinbelievable! God only you, Bella! When did that happen? Is it recent? Maybe that was the pain he was emanating."

"I don't know! Look at him, I haven't exactly been able to have a conversation with him yet! I found him wounded outside the treaty line. The wolves must have had a field day with him."

Jasper placed his hands on Justin's forehead and did his thing. I looked at him questioningly. "I can usually transfer a stronger dose when I have contact, like it's more concentrated of an osmosis shot," he explained. I had never known this.

It worked. Justin opened his eyes, looking around until he felt the pain of his wounds. He jerked hard, holding his side where his biggest wound was.

I had added some of Kate's platini to a glass of blood from a blood bag and brought him the concoction. "Here. Drink this," I ordered him, to which he listened as I witnessed his eyes zero in on the blood. "This will help the wounds heal better. I think," I added, remembering Alice explain what they gave me after my transformation to help with the wounds.

Justin drank it down before slumping back on the couch. His body was visibly less tense. Something had to be working.

Jazz and I stepped outside, trying to quietly discuss some details of me finding Justin. He was worried I couldn't handle this on the heels of Edward leaving. He was probably right to worry, but I declined any emotional boost from him. Instead, he said he had been working on a power emo-cleanse and suggested I might need that.

"Are you going to be okay here with him? Do you think you'll be safe?"

"He won't hurt me," I tried to assure Jazz.

"How can you be sure? Not everyone survives the transformation as intact and as stable as you did," he reminded me. "What if he is an out-of-control newborn?" Jasper looked at his watch. "I'm just going to stay here until he's alert to make sure you're okay."

"Jazz you don't have to do that."

"Bella. We still have to watch out for you. Speaking of which, any word on Edward?"

"No," I nodded quietly before thinking to ask him, "Did you sense anything that night at the bar or in the car from him? That maybe he didn't tell me?"

Jasper shook his head no. "The only thing I sensed off that boy was anticipation. Believe me, he wanted you. But he was also fascinated by you. You held his interest."

His words changed my mood. None of it made sense, and hearing Jasper tell me that made me feel even worse about why Edward left.

~AGH~

We slipped back inside the cottage just over thirty minutes later to find Justin more alert.

"I feel better," he said. "Wow, so much so." He stood up and stretched out his arms and legs then examined his body, accommodated by a few curse words until he was satisfied with himself. "I don't remember getting cleaned up, but it sure feels better than how I must have looked a few hours ago." He extended his hand out to Jasper. "Thanks man. I'm James."

Jasper shook his hand but looked at me questioningly, "James? I'm Jasper, a friend of Bella's. Nice to meet you."

"He goes by James and Justin," I clarified for Jasper.

"Well any friend of just-Bella's . . ." Justin smiled over at me. "What the hell happened that you became a vampire?" He reached out to me and pulled me into a firm embrace, like old friends. Were we old friends?

"I could ask you the same question!" I returned the hug.

"I think you two have some catching up to do, and it seems like James here is better, so if you don't mind, I'm going to excuse myself. Listen Bella, don't stay here too long without letting Esme know, okay?"

I walked Jazz to the door and hugged him. "I don't know how to thank you."

"Thank me by being careful. I'll send Alice out here to check on you at some point with some more clothes." We said our goodbyes and I turned to Justin.

"Look at us, huh? Both vamps," I said. I swung my arms in front of me and snapped my fingers methodically.

"I want to know how it happened for you just-Bella," he said with too much enthusiasm for his weakened state, but admittedly, I felt flattered by his interest in me.

"I will, but first, I want to know why you keep referring to yourself as James?"

He plopped back down on the couch. "That's my name."

"No . . . you're name is Justin. We used to work at the Ski & Skies Adventureland together and your nametag said Justin on it, and that's how you introduced yourself to me. That I clearly remember about you. Among other things. Though I do remember people you knew sometimes calling you Jay," I said then spelling out, "J-A-Y."

"I give you credit, just-Bella, you remember a lot from that life. I'm still piecing some of it together, myself. But . . . people called me J, which was my initial. My family adopted me, and my given name was Justin, but my middle name was James, and that's what my adopted family called me growing up. It doesn't matter much what you call me, though. I am who I am."

"Oh." Just like my nametag said my given name, Isabella on it, I remembered. "Does your family know what has happened to you?"

"No, of course not. I just came back to this area recently. I'm not sure what they think about me, but I've sent them notes saying I was okay. Come here," he beckoned me as he patted the couch next to him.

I sat down, and he dubiously sniffed my hair. "It's you. You're the vamp that was out by my family's house recently, aren't you?"

"I am, but . . . I want to know what happened with the wolves."

"Aww, shit those werewolves. Hostile pieces of crap! First time I've been back to this area in over a year and no one told me about those damn wolves!"

"No, there isn't exactly a handbook," I laughed slightly in response to how up in arms he seemed.

He also laughed. "There should be!" he exclaimed.

"Gigantic motherfuckers, too! I could have taken one but they ganged up on me. I think I would have been done if some brazen red-haired vamp hadn't come along."

"Victoria?"

"Is that her name? Yeah, she saved my skin. Those wolves severely underestimated her. Hell, so did I. She was playing them before they realized what was going on. I'm sure at least two of the wolves were left hurt by her," he said.

If they had been hurt, no one would have gone to the hospital. Billy Black didn't allow them to be treated there because of Carlisle and I. I felt that twinge of conscience again. I pulled out my phone and texted Carlisle telling him that I believed some of the members of the reservation were hurt and asked him to offer medical help if he could.

Carlisle texted back that he would arrange medical treatment for them if they accepted it. He went on to ask where I was but I didn't answer him.

I looked back up from my phone. "There's a pack of werewolves that protect that area. We have a treaty with them. We don't go onto their lands to hunt. We don't go on their lands, period, but other vampires crossing through the area wouldn't know about it."

"I sure as hell didn't. And who is we?" he asked.

"My family. The Cullens. This is not their main house, where I live. Or . . . used to live. I don't know, it's complicated right now, but this cottage belongs to them."

"It's very nice," he said as he ran his hand over the back of the couch. He suddenly looked into my eyes, a changed expression on his face, and I overwhelmingly felt like the space in the room was closing in on me.

"Just. Bella," he said gently with a laugh, enunciating both words and shaking his head in disbelief, "Of all people you're a vamp and you saved me." I got up to get him another drink. "There's a shit ton I want to know."

"Me too," I replied. He had followed me into the kitchen. We stood under the fluorescent lights of the cottage's quaint small kitchen.

"Let me get a good look at you," he said taking my hands and extending my arms out. His eyes roamed up and down my body and side to side. "Spin," he said gently, and I complied begrudgingly. "The just-Bella I remember was never merely pretty, but you're stunning as a vamp." His words and proximity to me in the small kitchen sent ripples down my body. He was making me nervous in the same way I always felt nervous around him as a human.

I internally blushed. "That's really not true," I stated meekly.

He was rubbing his hands against mine in a smooth, stroking motion that felt honestly genuine. Our bodies were the same temperature, and the feel of his smooth stone skin against mine was a different and intriguing feeling to me. It sent more tingles through my body.

"And yet, you . . . you look so different," I said.

"I'm a hell of a lot more buff, that's for sure," he laughed, running his hand over his abs. "Though, do you think you could do something for me?" he asked releasing me.

"That depends," I said.

"I've been on my own for so long, that my hair is just this ratty mess. I went to a barber once, but I ended up draining him." He laughed. "It happens. Would you cut it for me? I want it to look more like it used to … for when I see my family . . . and for you."

I felt relieved by what he was asking of me. "Sure, or maybe my friend Alice can. She's really good at that stuff."

"Thanks, then maybe I'll look more like this Justin guy you remember so well," he chuckled.

"I didn't say that I remembered him well. But maybe well enough."

"It seems like you remember me well," he replied more under his breath.

I turned away from him. God I did remember him. Too well. When I opened the fridge to pour him another glass of straight animal blood, I caught him staring at me. "Why are your eyes that color?" he asked blatantly.

"Drink this," I said, handing him the glass, "and yours will be soon too," I said.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because my family supplements our eating habits with the blood of animals rather than humans," I explained tentatively, unsure of how he would react.

"You can sustain on animal blood?"

"Yes, like a human vegetarian who doesn't eat meat," I replied. Justin took the glass and drank it down.

"You always drink out of glasses like this then?" he asked.

"No," I laughed. "Where's the fun in that? We hunt game out in the forest. This is just something we keep as a reserve."

We left the kitchen and settled back on the couch. As I sat next to him, it felt like he was still admiring me as he threaded his fingers in my hair, twisting the strands playfully. "I don't know how the transformation was for you, but I lost of lot of memories," he said. "Or sometimes I know they are there, just fuzzy. Does that make sense to you?"

"Yeah. Same here."

"And yet, the sight of you, makes me feel things I haven't felt in a long time. Things that were buried are coming back to the surface."

"That's a lot like how it has been for me. Like the memories are buried down deep, and here and there I can tap into them sometimes based on emotion or seeing something or someone. My mentor encourages me to journal all my memories to help make a timeline for myself."

"I guess some of it falls to the background of all the sense of power and freedom that comes with this life," he mused.

"And some of it is based in who you are," I said.

"I remember who you are, just-Bella," he said in a gentle yet seductive voice.

I smiled nervously again. "That was a long time ago. Some might say, a whole lifetime ago that we were co-workers at the SSA."

"I think we were a little more than co-workers," he argued gently, tugging at a strand of my hair.

"Yeah, friends," I said innocently, "who met at their job. By the way, I've been to the SSA recently. It has changed a lot, and yet, it hasn't. They've put in a . . . "

"Friends?" he interrupted. "Yeah, I guess you would see it that way," he scowled.

I squirmed next to him on the couch, all the memories I had of Justin running through my head - meeting him, seeing him at the park, the day he drove me home, stopping for pizza, going on rides with him, waiting for him to come to my party, seeing him with his girlfriend.

"Am I overshooting here?" I asked.

Justin stood up, and I noticed his clenched fist. "I wish I could have finished what I started today. I set out to pay a little visit to that punk Jacob Black and his buddies on the reservation. They ruined something for me. It was time for payback."

Surprised by his declaration and a little scared by the harshness that came over him, I blurted out the truth. "You wouldn't have been able to. Jacob's dead," I told him. "And his friends are the wolves."

"Those punks are the werewolves that attacked me? Son of a bitch! You have got to be kidding me! Here I am ready to use this new body to finally kick his punk-ass. Huh."

"What do you have to kick Jacob's ass about, anyway?" I asked.

"Plenty," he growled disappearing into the kitchen with his glass and returning without it. He knelt down in front of me, and I could sense he was calmer now. He looked up into my eyes with a soft friendly smile and a sparkle to the new amber flecks in his eyes. "But mostly my chances with you back then. I was crazy about you, just-Bella."

What? I'm sorry . … what? Who? Me?

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" I inched away from him, away from the couch and found myself leaning against a large bookshelf on a flash.

He flashed toward me. He took a step closer, leaning in toward my face slowly before pressing a soft chaste kiss to my lips. When our bodies touched, it reminded me of running a hand over a completed jigsaw puzzle. There were only slight ridges among the smoothness. It was continuous, like pieces that went together and no longer had strange indentations or odd-shaped appendages. There were no rough edges or missing spaces. "I said that I liked you back then," he smiled.

"No - you didn't. You led me on then stood me up and started seeing someone else. Maybe you don't remember."

"It's not as simple as that just-Bella. I had to let you go before I ever got a chance to call you mine. You have no idea how fucked up a situation it was! Besides, in the end just-Bella, you were better off without me."

"Says who?" I demanded.

Both of his hands grabbed my face and pulled me in toward him. Our mouths met. His kiss was swift and hard. He didn't kiss my lips, he possessed them. Fire erupted between us in a way I didn't know was possible. When he pulled away, grinning, he looked around the cottage.

"Your family has nice stuff. I wouldn't want to break any of it if we got carried away," he grinned.

I scooted around him and walked away, confused by what just happened. Whatever just happened, I was blaming on us both being vampires because that was . . . that was something I've never felt before. I needed to put some distance between us. "I'm sorry. Can we go over the part again where you said you liked me?"

Justin laughed. "You're the only vampire I've run into that I knew what she looked like before and after. Or knew her personality. This personality about you. Always second guessing everything. Cerebral first, feeling second. How did it survive? You're supposed to be this badass fierce creature."

"I don't know. I'm just still mainly me, I guess, but maybe with a side of badass," I shrugged.

As I stood against the other side of the room, he surveyed the space between us. "So you are," he nodded with that same bad-boy smile I remember him having. "Hey what were you doing out by my family's house anyway?"

"I just happened to be in the area. What were you doing there?"

"Checking on my family. And looking for my motorcycle, though it must be up at the garage. I'd really like to go get my old bike back."

"Garage?"

"Yeah, my family owns a garage out in Port Townsend. And that's all I was ever going to be, a mechanic at my dad's shop. At least that's what I thought. I sure as hell never expected to be a vampire."

The one Edward went to? Jasper wouldn't have known to connect it with Justin's family.

Edward.

"What's the name of it?" I asked blankly.

"Leo's. Full service wash, wax, detail, and auto repair. Leo's . . . it's in the details," he said, reciting what I assumed must have been a commercial slogan.

It's the same place! What was Edward doing there AND at Justin's house? How could he have known? My life felt like so many things connected around me but none of it made sense.

"And, it's the only place anyone who lives on the reservation trusts to take their car to," he added. "I made sure of that once, and it cost me you, but today, trying to get onto that reservation was impossible."

"Me?" I shook my head confused, "I don't understand. What do you mean it cost you me?"

"It just . . . maybe it doesn't matter now. I mean second chances and all. Look, I don't want to make you uncomfortable. Come sit back down with me and tell me how it happened for you. I'll be good." He put his hands in the air. "I don't think you have any clue how nice this is for me to have someone to talk to who knows me the way you do."

I smiled and made my way back over to the couch where he joined me cautiously once I sat.

I did understand. I had Alice. Justin hadn't. It was a long process of explaining the wolves to Justin without going into all of the details. I explained that I was lucky to have a new family and my natural family still in my life. His attention varied from me feeling like he was overly staring at me, to him drifting off as he looked around the cottage frequently before admitting he would like to see his family and for them to see him before too much time passes and he should look different due to aging. Intrigued by the vegetarian drink, he probed more about my lifestyle and the limitations of it. The conversation with Justin was easy and natural, and while I held back some to protect myself, I wasn't hiding who I was with him, not like I had to do with Edward. And yet, I sensed he was holding back something from me.

"So tell me how you became a vampire?" I asked.

"It was a couple of years ago, some vamps trapped me while I was backpacking across the States with one of my buddies. I was somewhere in the Midwest out in the wilderness. They got us both, but first they captured us and held us in some lab before they turned us."

"What happened to your friend?"

Justin picked up my hand, caressing it in a way that was overwhelmingly distracting. "I don't know. He went his way, and I went mine, I guess. And since then, I've been traipsing across the States trying to . . . . survive," he said like he was editing himself. The last part had a hint of over-simplicity to it. Like half an answer to half of the story.

"Oh boy, prepare yourself." I sensed Alice at the door. The door flung open, and in she stormed.

"Oh my God! So it IS true, not that I wanted to call my fiance a liar, but Oh. My. God," she said dramatically.

Justin stood up, looking bewildered as he switched his attention back and forth between me and Alice. "Look buddy," she started in on him immediately, "just because you're one of our kind now, don't think I don't remember you and what you did to my friend here….you know, your just-Bella whom you led on before you met your just-Becca!"

"Alice!" I chided. "You're being rude to our guest!"

"Well if I am, excuse me, but he was rude to you first!"

"Wow, tough crowd around here." Justin put out his hand, "Hi, I'm James."

"Yes, we've met," Alice replied sharply.

"Maybe you met my former self," he replied. "You always enter a home like a wrecking ball?"

"Ha!" Alice circled her index finger in the air around him. "Wait a minute. Did you just say your name was James? I thought your name was Justin," she accused.

"Alice, can you please not do this. Yes, it's him. He's been made a vampire, and he needs help just like I did." I emphasized the last part for her to get the hint.

"Fine. Why do you think I brought this bag of clothes?" She dropped the designer shopping bag nonchalantly on the floor. "See? There I've helped."

"He needs you to do something else for him, Alice," I said.

"Oh yeah, what's that?" she said with too much snark.

Justin and I looked at each other and said together, "Haircut." We both laughed.

"I was so hoping you were going to say that!" she chirped. "No offense, but this look is all wrong for you."

"None taken. I've been wandering for so long with no one to really tend to me, grooming-wise that is."

"I'll bet," Alice said snidely.

"You can thank Alice for the clothes too," I offered up to lessen her snippy attitude.

"Thank you," Justin said before asking if they had anything in terms of a leather coat to replace his, which of course, Alice said she could get one but first she wanted at his hair.

"Hey Alice, do you think you remember how Justin used to look? He wants his hair a little more that style."

"Oh yeah, I had a vision about him. I don't forget those." Alice was all through the drawers at the cottage looking for scissors, presumably, and when she couldn't find any she said that she would have to run back home or out to a store and be back later. We said our goodbyes.

~AGH~

"Wow, I didn't think I was going to win over that one," Justin said.

"Oh believe me, you haven't yet," I assured him. "Alice and I have been friends since high school. She was a vampire then and so her memory of you is probably pretty clear. Plus she has visions that predict the future."

"Well shit. I'm in serious trouble then. You won't let her cut my hair funny or shave my head, will you?" he asked with a smile.

"No, I'll protect you with my inhuman strength," I said as I felt the weight of his gaze upon me. It suddenly felt very warm in the cottage, and I needed to once again put some space between us. I suggested that there might be a patio through the glass sliding door.

"Might be?" he asked.

"Umm, yeah this is only my second time here."

I walked over to open the door, and sure enough my instincts about Esme's tastes were right. A small patio made of grey slate awaited us as well as inviting comfortable blue-cushioned furniture. He followed me out, and we were seated. The treeline ran less than twenty feet from us, and as I sat there I got a whiff of animal blood. Inhaling deeply, I basked in the scents of the forest.

"What are you relishing in?"

"Oh the scents of the forest. There's deer nearby. Do you smell it?"

"Yeah I guess, but it's not very appealing. It's not like striking up a conversation with a dumb Jane Doe and luring her to . . . ."

"Stop, please stop," I said. "There are no Jane Does around here, so you're going to have to try some real does."

"Fine," he made a face. "I guess I'm willing to endure it, if you're willing to tell me more about how you became a vamp."

I loosely went over the story of fishing that day with my dad and an animal attacking me. His biggest surprise was that Charlie brought me to the Cullens not knowing they were vampires. I tried to emphasize that my dad knew Carlisle was a doctor and we were too far out from town to get me to the hospital in time.

"So your dad just thinks that Carlisle saved you?"

"You know sometimes, I'm not exactly sure what Charlie thinks," I laughed. "He does know that I'm different now but he doesn't care. Sometimes he must think he made a deal with the devil in allowing Carlisle to save me, but if the Cullens hadn't changed me, I really would be dead right now."

"Well I can't wait to meet Carlisle to thank him then, because I surely wouldn't have wanted to miss out on this little reunion with you," he smiled.

I wondered if Carlisle would even be happy to hear that right now. I hated the way Justin kept teasing like there was something more between us than there was, and yet just like when I was around him when I was younger, I kept holding onto every word he delivered with hopes there was something more to it. I wondered what Jess would say if she was here.

"You really have to stop saying things like that," I told him.

"Why? Just-Bella, don't you believe in something beyond us that brought us back together like this?"

"You mean simple geography? You came back home. I came back home. We ran into each other," I said plainly. "I met someone who worked at the SSA just the other day . . ."

"Jesus just-Bella, look at us! We're two vampires with a human past. We have a history together."

"It's ancient history," I said, purposefully trying to diminish what he was clearly trying to blow out of proportion.

"Not to me, it's not!" he snapped. He grasped the sides of his head tightly like he was in agony.

Whoa. "Are you okay?" I asked with genuine concern. I knew I had been playing coy and downplaying things. I just didn't want to be hurt any more right now.

"As I made my way back to Port Angeles, knowing why I wanted to kick Jacob's ass, I thought about you a lot. Now? With Jacob dead and knowing we are both facing the same lot in life, we could have something Bella. We could finish what we started...unless . . . that is, unless you are involved with another vampire?"

"Not exactly. Well I just broke up with someone. I think. It's complicated and I'm in a very fragile state at the moment, but, damn it, what does Jacob Black have anything to do with any of this?" I demanded, more curious than ever and remembering that day in the pizzeria.

He growled at the thought of what he needed to tell me, I guessed, taking me off guard.

"I was weak back then just-Bella and torn between my feelings for you and not wanting to hurt my family. Jacob Black is a class one asshole who forced me to break things off with you."

~AGH~

A/N: So the tables have all turned! Bella's past human life - that first crush/love with Justin - that she had been struggling to let go of (she threw out the old SSA stuff remember?), is now part of her present life AND we are finding out that he completely returned her feelings and because he's a vampire now, he could fit in with her new life oh so easily.

But where does that leave human Edward? Surely he's not gone forever. Not with all the loose ends.

How about if I just surprise you all?

If you google "Cam Gigandet motorcycle" you will see pictures of him from filming the movie Burlesque. Leather jacket. Short hair. This is how I pictured him while writing Justin.

thanks for reading.