Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Please don't try any of this at home.
The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - I know a lot of you get upset when bad things happen in the story. I was talking about this with a friend of mine, and he told me something that is a good point: writers have to be brutal when they write a story. Do you think JK Rowling enjoyed killing Dobby? Do you think she even wanted to? No, but it had to happen, there was a war, and evil people like Lestrange have no mercy.
I know you all want humor more than drama, so I try to provide both. If nothing else, enjoy seeing Twilight vampires get their butt kicked.
Chapter 26 - Once Bitten, Twice They Die
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(The Hunters, Team 1 - Hannah, Joel, Colin, Tyler)
The four brave adventurers, trudging through Count Dracula's Castle, were struggling against the constant vampire attacks. Even Colin, who had been stubbornly refused to help, was actually fighting the bloodsuckers. He found it quite enjoyable, and began wondering why he had protested all this time.
The virtual wounds did not hurt, but it was causing them difficulty in moving and fighting. Injuries to the arms and chest made it harder to swing or shoot their weapons, damages to the legs and feet made it tough to run and dodge.
Hannah was panting from exhaustion, Joel heaving hard. Tyler, who was used to long hours of strenuous exercise, was carrying on the best, and led the group. When they reached a door that had been guarded by some very powerful vampires, they were sure they had reached Dracula's lair.
Inside were no other vampires, or Twilight-wannabes. A large collection of weapons were to be found, all good against vampires. "Why would they keep these?" Tyler asked aloud. "It's like Superman keeping kryptonite."
"I think it's in case another group of vampires attack them or something," Hannah said. "Vampires are probably like gangs, they cannot stand each other."
"Like you would know anything about gangs," Colin scoffed as he lifted up a holy sledgehammer.
Joel shot an angry glare at him as he picked up a couple pistols with blessed bullets. "Yes, I'm sure you would know more about immoral things," he said. "I'm surprised these holy things don't burn you too."
Colin gave him an inappropriate hand gesture, which the inventor ignored. Hannah noted a crucifix baseball bat, held it questioningly, then put it back. She preferred her holy katana, and was hoping no one else she wanted.
Tyler was the one she was most worried about, since he had a love for sports; however, the sporto had found something that interested him a lot more. He had come across a glass case, and was opening it up to claim the prize.
"We have found our salvation," Tyler said as he took the golden orb. "The most destructive weapon known to mankind, blessed and perfect for this job of destroying one major vampire."
"What's that then?" Joel asked.
Tyler held the blessed item high up in the air. The semi-perfect, golden sphere was adorned with a cross-shaped pin, decorated with glorious artwork of Christian faith and history. It was a thing of beauty, it almost brought a tear to Hannah's eye.
"What is it?" she asked with wonder.
"The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch!"
(The Slayers, Team 1 - Leshawna, Anita, Gwen)
Anita was holding the very same weapon in her world, as her teammates stared at it in marvel. The bombshell gal caressed the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, pleased to find such an incredible weapon.
"Kick ass," said Gwen.
"Amen," Leshawna and Anita said in unison.
After a few more seconds of admiration, Leshawna broke the silence. "So, we gonna use this against that vampire?"
"We'll definitely should, try to hit him with it when he isn't looking," Gwen said, holding two katana blades of her own. "One of us will distract him, then we hit him with it. Who wants to throw it?"
"I got a good throwing arm, but you should it, Gwen."
"Me? Why?"
"You're the only one who's beaten a serial killer."
"That's true," Anita added, handing the grenade out to Gwen. "Leshawna and I can distract him, you do your best."
The goth girl blinked, then nodded as she stuck it in a pouch she wore on her side. "Leave it to me."
The three left the weapons room, armed and dangerous. They came across a very grand-looking door that might be where the master of this place would be.
" 'Werewolves stay out, vampires only', it says," Leshawna read the sticker on the door. "Friggin' vampire."
She tore it off, crumpled it up, and tossed it aside. She threw the door open, and stepped boldly inside. Anita and Gwen followed, keeping their eyes peeled.
Movement startled them, and the three held up their weapons: Gwen her dual katana blades, Leshawna a holy shotgun, and Anita a vampire-slaying whip. The three saw steel flash in the pale light of the room, and then recognized the figure.
"Heather?" Leshawna asked, lowering her weapon. "What are you doing here?"
"I was hunting for Count Dracula, duh," the queen bee replied, lowering her katana blades as well. "What are you three doing here?"
"The same thing," Gwen snapped, rolling her eyes. "What, you thought we were picnicking?"
"Oh, shut up," Heather said, glaring at the goth girl. "We just need to find this vampire, and kill hi-"
She didn't get time to finish. A flash of movement, dark in nature so that it was almost impossible to see, collided with her, rocketing her against the wall. Heather cried out and struggled but only for a moment before fangs dug into her neck. She stiffened, went pale, then limp.
Count Dracula dropped Heather's dead body and turned towards the three girls, blood staining his mouth. He licked it away, eyes glowing red. "Welcome, young ladies," he said, smacking his lips. "I've actually been waiting for you."
Leshawna shook with fear, glancing at Heather's dead body. She tried to collect herself, swallowing nervously. Anita almost bit her lip hard enough to draw blood, and Gwen had almost dropped her weapons.
"You three caught my eye when you entered. Brave, beautiful, and quite admirable, all very fine features. The girl I killed, she was a violent warrior, and I have enough slaves."
"Wha-what?" Leshawna stammered. She managed to shake off her fear and held up her shotgun. "What do you mean by that, Dracula?"
The leader of the vampires grinned and snapped his fingers. "I'm glad you asked."
A few seconds after the snap, figures began to step out from the back of Dracula's lair. The three girls tried hard to see what they were, and when it was evident, they gaped and gasped in horror.
(The Hunters, Count Dracula's Lair)
"I could have captured every last one of the women, but unfortunately," Count Dracula said, "your team was full of very violent women. My minions were forced to kill most of them. All but one."
He put his hand on a shoulder of a redhead that the Hunters' team knew very well. Izzy was staring back at them, but she wasn't Izzy. Her eyes were glowing a dull yellow, and her facial expression just wasn't, no expression, no Izzy in it at all. The tiny bite marks on her neck were the sign of this state of mind.
"She is my slave, one for pleasure in my dark, sad, miserable life of being a vampire," Count Dracula said with a sigh, throwing back his well-styled hair and running a pale hand through it. "Such is a cruel life, with no love after all these years."
"So you're mind-controlling her with your powers after biting her?" Hannah shouted, fiercely gripping her sword. "How dare you, you vile, sinful-"
"Dude, that is cool," Colin said, grinning. "Can you show me how to do that?"
Hannah face-palmed as Joel pointed his guns at Dracula. "Whatever you're doing to her, release her. Or I'm gonna go Gunslinger on your pale butt."
"Only my death could release her," the vampire said. "Soon, all young women will be like this. Devoted, obedient, no personality except to entertain me."
"You gotta show me how to do that," Colin gushed. "I want my own harem too!"
Dracula rolled his red-glowing eyes. "Yeah right, I'm not going to let you in on this."
"C'mon!"
"No! And besides, I think you're kind of a jerk."
"Let go of Izzy right now, you freak," Tyler snarled, stepping forward. In his hands, he was holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, preparing it.
"Or what?" Count Dracula snarled. "A jock with bad aim doesn't scare me, I know I'm more popular than you. Face it, when it comes to attracting girls, you gotta be a pale, undead monster who wants to kill the girl he's dating in order to be cool."
"I'll show you how wrong you are! Joel, get Izzy out of the way!"
Tyler pulled the holy pin as Joel ran forward, grabbing Izzy around the waist. The inventor yanked her away with no problem, as she was as resistant as a rag doll. Count Dracula didn't even react except for a side glance at this hostage saving, then back at Tyler as the jock threw the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at him.
He missed Twilight Dracula, and slammed against the opposing wall. Since the weapon was light with holy light powers, it had a lot of bounce to it. Going past the one throwing it, the holy grenade bounced and rolled to the back where Hannah and Colin were standing. Both had time to cry out and move slightly.
There was a terribly ghastly noise. There was a wonderfully beautiful light. Then there was nothing.
Tyler looked behind him, still in throwing pose, looking at where his two teammates had been, only a holy-seared burn where they had been. He quivered, and whimpered out the immortal words, "Oops."
Count Dracula burst out laughing. "I cannot believe you just did that. That's the funniest thing I've seen in almost fifty years!" He cackled a bit more before coughing, then sighed and said, "But alas, an amusement like that barely penetrates my emo but oh-so-hot attitude. Izzy, take care of that boy."
Izzy immediately became violent at her master's words. She began slapping, kicking, and kneeing Joel as much as possible. Not wanting to hurt his friend, because the logic of a virtual reality world and a mind-controlled slave could not enter his mind during such an event, Joel feebly tried to hold her back.
Tyler watched this, then saw Dracula. "Crap," he swore, realizing their odds. "Things couldn't be any worse."
(The Slayers, Count Dracula's Lair)
It was if you were on the Slayers side, and you were Gwen, Leshawna, and Anita. They were staring at not one mind-controlled slave of Count Dracula, but six.
"What did you do to them?" Gwen shrieked in fury. Her eyes rested on her friend amid the others. "Bridgette! Bridgette, what's wrong with you?"
"She cannot reply to you, because she's not Bridgette any more," Dracula said, flashing a smug smirk. "You don't know them any more as Bridgette, Lindsay, Courtney, Sadie, Valerie, or Beth anymore. These women are now mine, and I call them all...
"Bella."
"Ugh, it's a fate worse than death," Anita shouted in disgust. "How dare you! If you're going to make your own fangirls, you should at least let them be drones by their own free will!"
Dracula scoffed. "Merchandise can only do so much. I'm the real deal, baby, the wolf feeding off the lambs."
Leshawna scoffed, then looked at the mind-controlled girls. "So, if my real vampire lore is right, we just have to kill you to free them."
"Yes, but you won't."
"We will," Gwen hissed. "And since this is a virtual reality world, we don't have to worry about hurting our friends."
"Really?" Dracula asked, his smug smirk still there. He tapped Bridgette's shoulder and snapped his fingers. "Bridgette, go attack Gwen."
The blond, mind-controlled surfer nodded slowly, her face contorting into a violent expression. She rushed forward, and Gwen braced herself. Seeing her friend coming at her, the goth girl froze, unable to harm her. The guilt of her rude treatment to her at breakfast came rushing at her at the same time.
Gwen dropped her katana blades and caught her charging friend. Bridgette immediately began striking her, and it was all she could do to hold her back. Seeing the surfer in such a violent state scared all three girls; it was hard to imagine Bridgette being this aggressive, ever.
Count Dracula cackled, pointing at the attacking girl. "See this? I control her completely! And you cannot hurt her, you wouldn't dare! Even if we're breaking the fourth wall, you cannot do it!"
Anita groaned. "You know, hearing him say it makes me think of girls who want to date Edward. This fourth wall in virtual reality is really scary, I hope Joel uses the VR machine for good only."
Leshawna eyed the mind-controlled girls, noticing Courtney. "Well, I wouldn't mind slapping her around a little. "Can you slap Valerie?"
"Yeah, I think I'd have no problem with that. What about the other four?"
"WAIT!"
The three girls, the mind-controlled slaves, and Count Dracula looked back at the door entrance. Rodney was standing there, still wet with holy water, carrying a soft cushion and a flashlight.
"He's still alive?" Dracula mused. "I think my vampires are losing their touch."
Rodney heaved for a couple seconds before holding up the flashlight. "I know vampires die from sunlight, and this replicates it!"
He turned it on and pointed it at Dracula. His face became sparkly and glittery and all kinds of wrongness.
"Why isn't it working?" Rodney whimpered as Dracula merely grinned at him. "Why isn't it working?!"
As the prodigy child began to panic, Leshawna quickly tried to make a bad situation good. She pointed at the glittering Count Dracula and shouted, "Edward! It's Edward! Get him, fangirls!"
The six mind-controlled girls went nuts, shrieking and screaming in joy, glomping him. Count Dracula struggled, but even someone super strong would have trouble with six, excited fangirls.
Rodney stood there shaking in fear as the three girls watched Dracula's slaves attack him. The prodigy didn't get what was going on, he hadn't read or heard about Twilight (lucky him).
(The Hunters, Count Dracula's Lair)
Tyler hit the floor, blood leaking from his wounds. The jock tried to pick himself up, but Dracula beat him to this job. Lifting Tyler up by his neck, the vampire smirked at him. "So pathetic," he hissed. "You stood no chance against me. After I'm done with you, I'll finish off the inventor."
The jock mustered the last of his strength and kicked Count Dracula in the groin; however, undead hellspawn don't feel pain, even there. Tyler misinterpreted Dracula's lack of reaction and scoffed. "I thought so," he spat, sneering at the vampire.
With a disgusted groan, the Twilight Count Dracula used his super strength to hurl Tyler at one of the windows. The jock smashed through and plummeted to, as the lair was at the top of the keep; he was lucky to miss the spires on his way down, even if the fall did kill him and eliminate him from the VR challenge.
Count Dracula shrugged, then turned towards Joel. The inventor was still trying to keep Izzy off him, but he wasn't having any luck. He managed at the least to hold her at arms' length, but he saw the head vampire heading for him.
"Oh, Viking Women and the Sea Serpent," he cursed in his usual way. "How I wish I had some viking women helping me out. Or a sea serpent."
"That's a silly weapon to use against a vampire," Count Dracula replied, raising one of his eyebrows.
A silver dagger pierced through his chest, protruding in a most graphic way. The vampire looked down at the blade sticking out of him, feeling the hilt touching his back. "Now that's a effective weapon against vampires," he commented, then rolled his eyes and reached for the handle behind him.
Mandy, who had been the one to stab him from behind, rushed over to Joel and the controlled Izzy. The cultist pinned her friend down, matching her fierceness. Grappling her, she turned to Joel and said, "Okay, now waste that clown," she instructed him.
"Um, I don't suppose you know how to kill a Twilight vampire?"
"Do I look like someone who reads Twilight?" Mandy growled as she struggled with Izzy.
"No, not really."
Meanwhile, Dracula was getting frustrated with the dagger imbedded in his back. Feebly trying to reach for it, he growled angrily. "You just had to stab me in the one spot I cannot reach!"
When he finally did manage to grab it and pull it out, he pointed it threateningly at Mandy. "I don't know how you've managed to survive on your own," he snarled, "but I'm going to have to a word with my security! To think they let a weird, cultist girl get all the way here."
"Hey pal, I practically pay your salary," she shot back. "Without weirdos like me, where would vampires be?"
"Don't patronize me!"
Joel swallowed nervously, and looked at Mandy as they held Izzy back. "I don't suppose you have any weapons other than that dagger."
"Actually no, that's all I had," Mandy replied, trying to avoid Izzy stomping on her feet. "So why exactly has Izzy gone Marceline the Vampire Queen on us here?!"
"Who?"
"Never mind," Mandy replied as Count Dracula slowly approached them. "We are royally-"
A sharp whistle alerted everyone's attention, and when Count Dracula looked to see who it was, he was struck in the face with a hard projectile. The bloodsucker hissed and felt a small burn on his cheek. "Who did that?" he hissed.
Harold was standing there, a yo-yo dangling from each hand. The nerd rocked the weapons back and forth, grinning at the vampire. "Holy yo-yos for the win, Mr. Count," he said. "Thanks for leaving these around."
"I cannot believe I kept those," Count Dracula snarled.
"I cannot believe they actually made yo-yos into a vampire slaying weapon," Izzy exclaimed.
"I cannot believe it's not actually butter," Joel commented.
Izzy smacked him when she managed to free herself for a moment against Mandy, and the inventor blinked. "Yeah, I kind of deserved that."
Dracula hissed and swiped at Harold, but the lanky nerd dodged this attack. "Yo-Yo," Harold announced as he pulled the yo-yo back, "BULLET!"
The yo-yo hit the vampire in the cheek again, and another burn hissed on Dracula's skin. "What is wrong with this?" the Count snarled. "I am a Twilight vampire! We do not fear holy symbols!"
"You broke your own mold, a combination of both Twilight and actual vampires when you grew fangs," Harold snapped back, spinning a yo-yo around as if revving up.
"What are you talking about? Vampires always have fangs."
"And yet somehow, you Twilight freaks never got into actually having fangs," the nerd shot back. Lashing out with his yo-yo attack, hitting the vampire's side, he shouted, "Yo-Yo Flail!"
Dracula stepped back after the attack, snarling angrily. "Well fool, there's only one way to kill a vampire either way, and that's total obliteration and being burnt down to nothingness! And there's no way you can do with yo-yos, twerp!"
"Au contraire," Harold said, flexing his French skills as he lifted his hands, "never underestimate me, Count Dracula."
"Fool! You know why you could never defeat me," Dracula continued, deciding to taunt him rather than fight him when vulnerable; he was watching Harold bob the yo-yos up and down, picking up speed. "You know why you stand no chance? I'm a pretty boy with emotional issues, hot and dangerous! You're a nerd, a twerp who likes geeky things and no one likes."
Harold said nothing, continuing to move the yo-yos faster and faster. He stared down the red-eyed vampire, his face contorting in more and more rage. Narrowing his eyes behind his green glasses and curling his lips, he positioned his hands behind his back, still powering up his yo-yos' speed.
"What are you going to do now, you nerdy, twerpy, geek freak, dork spas?!"
Harold simply grinned. "Yo-yo," he slowly drawled out, before lashing his hands out and slinging his yo-yos at machine gun speed, "GATLING GUN!!!"
The yo-yos went pew-pew, hammering the startled vampire. Count Dracula was struck over and over by the holy-yos, the machine gun attack of Harold's favorite toy stunning the bloodsucker. His clothes were shredded by the attack, leaving him in a vampire thong, burning his skin and blistering his body.
The attack stopped when the yo-yos lost their propulsion, and the vampire stood there, practically a charred husk of his former self. Even his sparkly face was scarred.
Harold grinned and whipped both his hands back, both yo-yos shooting backwards. Count Dracula stood there, heaving and gasping, then his blood-red eyes widened with terror as he saw Harold preparing his final attack.
"Mother," he whimpered.
"YO-YO," Harold shouted as he thrust his hands forward, "BAZOOKA!" [1]
The attack hit Count Dracula square in the chest, and the vampire exploded in a burst of fire, ash, and glitter. The pieces all incinerated from the fury of the holy yo-yos, evaporating into vampire dust and getting up some noses.
Mandy sneezed, then felt Izzy go limp in her arms. The redhead shook her head, then sneezed as well. "Why do I have vampire dust up my nose?" she asked. "I've had a lot of things up my nose, but never that."
"Wow," Joel said. He walked over to Harold and shook his hand. "Dude, as a fellow nerd, I salute you."
"We all did it," Harold said proudly, "as a team. You two kept the hostage safe, I slayed the vampire with my yo-yos."
He dangled one proudly, and Joel chuckled in victory.
(Team Slayers, Count Dracula's Lair)
The girls and Rodney watched as Count Dracula struggled with the fangirls he thought he had enslaved. They were just starting to enjoy it when the vampire got violent. The head bloodsucker struck his followers, sending them flying and knocking them all unconscious.
Gwen reacted first, hurrying to the unconscious Bridgette. Her guilt and fury rose at the same time, and now the goth girl was pissed, at 150 percent vampire hating capability (the extra fifty percent was hate that could fill another human being halfway, really scientific here, has been proved, trust me).
The goth girl forget the plan and rushed at the vampire with both katana blades. Swinging madly, the Twilight vampire dodged them with ease. He ended the attack by grabbing a blade, and though blood dripped from the horrible wound, he felt no pain. Dracula reached with his other hand and grasped Gwen's neck. He leaned forward...
In which Anita launched a flying kick at the vampire, kicking him in his glittery face. Dracula dropped Gwen and stumbled back, and fell back more when Anita lashed out with her whip.
"You revolting man," she shouted as she continued to whip the vampire. "I've always wanted to do this to you!"
The vampire stumbled more, then rushed at Anita. He was stopped when a blast of holy shotgun shell blew him back. Leshawna snarled and pumped her shotgun, then pointed it at the vampire again.
Before she could fire again, Count Dracula rushed forward and knocked both Leshawna and Anita down. He was temporarily blinded by Rodney, who shone the flashlight directly in his eyes. Snarling angrily, the vampire dashed over to the boy, swatting the shining torch away. Rodney squeaked in fear as Dracula lifted him up by the back of his shirt collar.
"I hate kids," he spat, then hurled Rodney at a window. His helmet protected him from the impact of the glass, but sailed through like a bullet. Gwen saw him disappear from sight, reaching out in a feeble attempt to save him.
Count Dracula began to cackle, sputtering out, "Did you see that? Oh man, that was priceless! I should throw more kids out of windows, I'll make it a hobby."
Gwen's rage came rushing back to her. This vampire was a cross of the type of vampire she hated most, Colin, and, in her mind, Heather (at least Heather back in the first season, she admitted to herself). In the culmination of everything she hated more than anything, Gwen wanted this vampire dead.
Reaching into her pouch, she pulled out the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and approached Dracula, who was still laughing. Without any warning or fancy lines, she pulled the pin and shoved the explosive into the vampire's mouth. He was about to fight when the goth girl smashed it deeper in with the handle of her katana blade, breaking off the vampire's fangs. With a gag, he swallowed the explosive.
Standing there and grasping his stomach, Count Dracula looked at Gwen in horror and astonishment. The goth girl frowned right back at him, turned around and walked away with her katana on her shoulder. After the length of five seconds (not three, actually) past since the pin was pulled, the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch went off.
Count Twilight Dracula was engulfed in a holy explosion. Every part of him was burned into oblivion, even his incinerated remains were erraticated. The ashes were ashed, and the snuff was snuffed.
"Damn right," Gwen said when the noise and the light died down. "And Mr. Cullen is next."
Anita and Leshawna stared in wonder, then cheered and hugged their friend. Gwen let out a happy sigh, as the battle had been won.
(Maclean Stadium)
The remaining team members felt themselves come back to the real world. They were met with wild cheers and applause, and they all took their bows and waves in sync. Some members were not so happy, however.
"You stupid idiot," Colin shouted at Tyler. "You can't throw worth crap!"
"I cannot believe I was overpowered that easily," Heather spat as she threw her fists down in anger.
"You killed a Twilight vampire," Sadie cried out indignantly at Harold. "What did Twilight ever do to you?"
After the frets died down, Harold and Gwen were both looking at Chris. "So who won?" they asked in unison.
Chris rubbed his chin. "Well see, we've been playing back the footage for the Hunters and the Slayers. Try to see if you can see which team killed Count Dracula first, because I sure can't."
The screens all lit up for the contestants and the audience to watch. Harold's finishing Yo-Yo Bazooka move hit the Dracula in his world at the same time Gwen's grenade finisher went off. No matter how many times it was played or how slow the footage got, no one could tell if the nerd or the goth had won the time difference.
Some of the others had some things to say about it, both positive and negative.
"I could watch this footage forever," Arthur said happily as he watched both Twilight vampires get blasted to smithereens over and over.
"You did so well," Hannah said to Harold, patting his shoulder.
"Gwen, you are amazing, you know that?" Geoff cheered, clapping his hands.
"I cannot believe you people like watching a hot guy get blown up," Valerie grumbled.
"Quite so," Justin agreed.
"You two are so my heroes now," Alfred exclaimed.
"Izzy's sorry she missed the final moments," said Izzy, "but I did enjoy the smell of toasted vampire in the morning."
After a couple more minutes, Chris stopped the footage and shook his head. "Shame, really. But I guess what it boils down to how many people you all had living and sentient, thus who was alive after your Dracula bit the final one, and people who weren't mind controlled by him."
The two teams tried to count up the numbers. "But that's a tie in itself," Eva pointed out. "The only ones alive when Dracula was dead on our team was only three: Harold, Mandy, and Joel."
"And we," said Yoshi, "only had Leshawna, Gwen, and Anita."
Chris tapped his chin, then shook his head. "I think you guys missed a few people when the fighting of Dracula started. Because not everyone was dead or had been killed by our favorite bloodsucker."
He pushed a few buttons, and the screens flickered. The basement of Dracula's castle came to vision, much to the disgust of some of the contestants. Though something else caught their eye.
Belinda and Katie were still alive in the basement, hacking and stabbing at vampire rodents. No sooner had this registered in their minds when the screen flickered again, and the scene was one of the grand spires around Dracula's Lair. Rodney, hooked on one of the spikes of the wall by the back of his shirt, dangled a couple feet over the stone ledge.
The prodigy child sighed in frustration as the frigid wind blew him around a little. He spun around to come face-to-face with a stone gargoyle (the artwork kind, not the monster), and screamed in horror.
Chris chuckled as he killed the footage, then put the portraits of the six survivors of the winning team. "Not only did Gwen, Anita, and Leshawna survive the fight against Dracula, but the vampire never finished our little Rodney, and Katie and Belinda were still fighting in his dungeon! Meanwhile, the other team had absolutely no survivors in any part of the castle except in the keep.
"Thus, I must declare the winners of the Vampire VR Challenge to be... the Slayers!!"
The Slayers burst out in loud cheers and cries of joy, hugging and embracing each other. Alfred, though not a member, looked just as pumped as them.
"That was the most awesome experience ever," he exclaimed. "I'm just so stoked and thrilled that Dracula died twice... I gotta kiss someone in my joy! Mandy! Or Izzy! C'mere!"
He reached around and grabbed the nearest person, planting a direct, deep kiss on the mouth. Though it wasn't Mandy, and it wasn't Izzy.
When Alfred finally released the person, his eyes widened, then he giggled nervously. "Oops. Sorry, Howard," he said sheepishly, then let go of him. "Mandy! Izzy," he called out, moving away from the petrified Howard.
Strangely enough, even with members of the Hunters celebrating the end of the challenge, Gwen didn't look happy. The vampire slayer approached Chris and exclaimed, "Wait a minute, did you just make up the challenge as you went along?"
"Yeah, so?" the host challenged her, crossing his arms and grinning smugly.
"That's against the rules, isn't it?"
"Screw the rules, I'm the host!"
Gwen groaned in disgust and turned away. "Man, even after winning this game," she grumbled to herself, "I cannot get any satisfaction with that man running this." [2]
Bridgette came up to her, smiling happily. "Gwen, why are you sulking?" she asked, beaming at her friend. Grasping her in a huge hug, startling the goth girl, Bridgette said, "We won, be happy! You did it!"
Gwen felt her anger fade away, and let out a long sigh. She looked at her grinning friend, and nervously scratched the back of her head. "Listen, Bridgette, about breakfast this morning and such... I'm... I'm sorry."
Bridgette shrugged it off. "Aw, that's okay, Gwen."
They hugged, and it caused their teammates to cheer loudly some more. Anita was busy exchanging high-fives with her teammates, then went to find Cody. "Cody," she called out," Cody, did you see that?"
Her hopes of being tough and cool for him were dashed when she saw him patting Eva's shoulder, trying to comfort her over the loss. The fitness buff looked steamed, but was holding in her anger. Anita felt deflated, and walked off. Only a few members saw her in grief, and tried to comfort her.
The Hunters weren't exactly in good spirits either. "Well, where does that leave us?" Xander asked, frowning. "You said we lost, but we have almost twenty
"Yeah, is someone going to pick who gets immunity of us all?" asked Carol.
Chris turned to the losing team. "Exactly. Now according to customs, the winning team and the immunity winners are going to have cake!"
"Woohoo," Beth cheered. "I love cake!"
"And pie too," Chris added.
"Man, there are times when I love this show," said Leshawna. She noticed Heather looking at her and beginning to open her mouth, when she sharply added, "Say what I think you're going to say, and you're dead."
Heather flinched, then muttered, "I was just gonna say that I'm on a diet, cake and pie aren't what I want."
"Aw, c'mon, live a little," Ezekiel said, hugging her. "You ate quite a bit when you were at my hoo's, eh!"
"Zekey, not so loud," Heather hissed, blushing fiercely.
"Now, the ones who already have immunity on the losing loser's team are the ones who survived," Chris said aloud, getting attention back to him. "Those would be Harold, Joel, and Mandy.
"And who gets to pick the six others to get immunity?" he added the hypothetical question. "I think you all can agree it should go to none other than Dracula's killer, Harold!"
The nerd looked surprised at first, then bowed. This caused him to miss the moment when Chris tossed him the electronic voting pad, and it hit him on the head. After his team helped him back up and handed him the device, he rubbed his head.
"You know, most injuries to the head go untraceable for years until they cause serious damage," Harold grumbled, glaring at Chris. "I might forget how to write in twenty years, gosh it, Chris!"
Colin scoffed and muttered, "What's up there for him to worry about being damaged?"
Some of the others scowled at him, and he waved them off. "Oh come off it, he's just another four-eyed nerd, like any of you people like him."
"Well, I can certainly see why you wouldn't like eggheads," Justin said, eyeing Noah.
The bookworm saw this, and rounded on the model. "I guess muscle-headed creeps are what the world needs more of, huh you big ignoramus?!"
"Ooo, I love this," Chris said. "Strife!"
Colin continued on on the host's comment. "Look, everyone knows nerdy twerps like Harold, Noah, and that little kid aren't going to win any popularity contests. No one likes someone who fantasizes about living in space or reads books about elves and midgets in their spare time. They're dorks."
"And you just killed any hope of getting immunity," Harold shot at him from over his shoulder. He turned to his electronic pad and muttered, "Now to examine the rest of these people with a keen and fair mind. I want to be careful, it's like a science."
"How'd'ja mean?" Leshawna asked her boyfriend.
"Well, my chocolate goddess," he said, smiling at her, "I have to consider who'd be most grateful, who'd be a good teammate, who'd be a good friend, and who wouldn't resent being picked. My future in this contest is at much at stake as anyone I might pick long."
Chris Maclean crossed his arms. "Is this going to take a long time, Harold?"
"I sure hope not," Valerie muttered to herself.
"Because if you do take too long," the host said, grinning slyly, "I might just take that pad away from you and pick who gets immunity at random."
Harold's eyes widened in terror, his pupils shrinking. Very suddenly, he became pressing the pad's screen in a flurry of choices. The host balked, exclaiming, "Wait wait, I was kidding, you don't have to rush it-"
"Done," Harold shouted, handing the electronic voting pad to the host. Chris took it, surprised, and looked at it, reading the choices out loud.
"Howard, Izzy, Xander, Crystal, Eva, and Cody."
Harold nodded nervously, looking around to check to see who was mad. "My roommates, my teammates for this challenge who sacrificed themselves to save me, and the members of that rather interesting love triangles who were on my team."
Chris shook his head. "Dude, that was quick, careless, and yet it makes perfect sense. Well, that leaves Alfred, Tyler, Noah, Arthur, Carol, Justin, Clive, Hannah, Geoff, and Colin. You all have until nine PM to decide who you're going to vote for."
(Janitor's Closet - After Dracula's death, we interview some of our hunters and slayers.)
Howard - *still has a horrified look on his face* "Alfred... kissed me!" *He suddenly starts spitting a great many times.*
Anita - *looking downcast* "I wanted Cody to recognize me for being really tough. Maybe if I had killed Dracula, but all I could do was survive." *She sighs, then manages a smile.* "Well, I gotta say, seeing Gwen happy again is great, I love that gal."
Gwen - "I gotta say, killing a stupid, Twilight vampire really put a good mood in me. I hope Trent saw that."
Harold - *He is doing a couple tricks with a yo-yo, then he grins at the camera.* "I predict that many people will want to use these as self-defense weapons, but please, don't try these attacks at home. I'm a professional, as my Possum Scouts training has got me the yo-yo badge."
Leshawna - "Gwen and I may have got us a vampire, but my man did pretty damn well himself, huh?" *She fans herself, grinning.* "One hunk of hot nerd!"
Howard - *is now furiously brushing his teeth*
Xander - "It was rather nice of Harold to give me immunity over that little incident. I gotta say, I like the nerd even more now."
Crystal - "Harold and Gwen would make an interesting couple if they were both single. Go out late at night, killing vampires together." *She giggles a lot over this thought.*
Sebastian - "It gives me great satisfaction to see a Twilight vampire destroyed twice. How about you all, anyone who agrees?"
Sadie and Katie - Katie - "Okay, like, I know they didn't like Twilight, but don't you think they all were a little mean?"
Sadie - "Well, he did, like, capture me and make me his slave."
Katie - "Oh, that's so mean of him, that's right! But the real Edward wouldn't do that, would we?"
Bridgette - "I'm so glad Gwen is happy again! It was almost like missing her, her being gloomy makes her so... distant, you know?"
Beth - *with cake frosting and pie crush on her face, giggling a great deal* "I love cake and pie! Hee hee hee!"
Courtney - "Well, I can now factually state that I was a good deal in the victory, since I made the teams, and one team stood firm and won this for us. Those are CIT skills in the flesh, people." *She grins satisfactory.*
Heather - "I really resent how Gwen managed to kill Dracula and I was practically swatted aside. But I guess with Ezekiel and I getting immunity, I cannot complain too much."
Zachary - "Valerie asked me if I would be glitter on my face to see how I looked if I were a Twilight vampire. I think some of the language I used upset her, because she looked pretty miffed."
Izzy - "Izzy loved this challenge, but she expects to make the final kill next VR! I hope it's something big, like Godzilla, or Jacob!"
Howard - *He is gargling on mouthwash, then spits it out all over the janitor's closet.* "Damn it, Belinda's not going to be interested in me if I'm going to become the next Noah!"
(Maclean Stadium, Somewhere Inside the Halls)
Rodney had finished eating some pie and cake, and was heading for his room to read some of his textbook before the voting ceremony. As he head there, he had the misfortune of coming across Colin.
The bully looked down at the child, and his anger flared up. He thought about the sweet treats the kid had eaten, earning immunity and safety, and he also thought about how the kid had survived the challenge by pure luck. That smile on his face made the narrow-minded Colin think he was mocking him.
"You think you're so special, don't you?" he spat at the kid. "You think you're so cute and people love you, don't you?"
Rodney was thrown off by this, but he tried to shrug it off. Waving his hands, he said, "No no, I don't think anything like that! I'm just another one of the contestants."
"You are just a little crap in a bucket," Colin snarled. "You know what I normally do to kids like you?"
"Wh-what?" Rodney asked, whimpering.
"I usually twist their arm, punch them up, and make them cry. But I think I might get in trouble if I beat up a contestant here. So let me just tell you what I would do to you if I ever got a chance."
He then began to say some things that we're actually quite glad were censored. They were the kind of things that would disgust message board trolls, that would make high school hall talk look like Sunday at church, the kind of things that would be written on bathroom walls in hell. [3]
Rodney knew about anatomy, biology, and had some concept of slang and the way things work in the world. So he could understand most of it, and what he did was making him so horrified that he stood there, shivering and petrified.
Someone overheard Colin saying these things to Rodney. The horrible things made the person shiver, and then snap completely. Rushing forward, wanting to stop Colin from spewing more poison that could scar the child. A hand was at first extended to clamp over the offending mouth, but then anger set in about how offending this was.
A sports sneaker lifted up and kicked Colin right in the kisser. The bully was sent flying, hitting against the wall, a tooth sailing away. Rodney squeaked and clung to the other wall, staring at his savior.
It wasn't who he thought it would be. It wasn't who Colin thought it could be. It wasn't even who the person who kicked Colin in the face to stop him from scaring Rodney so badly thought could do it.
"You," Colin sputtered.
Hannah stood there, heaving in fury. She pointed at the bully and shouted, "If I ever, ever hear you say anything like that to Rodney, or anyone, ever again, I swear to God, you'll be spitting more than just that one tooth!"
She walked over to Rodney and took his hand. Whispering, "Come on, sweetheart," she led him to his room and gently escorted him in. Sadie was there, talking to Katie about boys, and Hannah let him stay with them. The two girls were eager to comfort the scared-looking child, and the religious girl made a beeline to her room, and collapsed in her bed.
A few people actually saw the exchange too. Two of them realized the opportunity in this, and hurried off. A couple others decided to keep their mouths shut, it felt like gossiping would be wrong. One was horrified, and hurried to find someone who would want to know about this more than anyone. [4]
(Janitor's Closet - Now with mouthwash stains on the wall.)
Rodney - *nervously chewing on his finger* "I... I cannot believe that all just happened. Hannah always seemed so patient... but... she was doing it to protect me. I'm so confused." *He shivers.* "Luckily, Katie and Sadie were really sweet with me, and I had fun painting their nails." *He giggles a little.*
DJ - "I saw what happened when I headed over to my room to check on Bunny. I don't know exactly what happened, but I have to say... wow, she's got a nice kick! I'm sure Coach would love that for our football team, or the soccer team!"
Lindsay - *nervously tapping her fingers together* "Well, I am kind of scared of Hannah after seeing that, but when I found out Heather tricked me during Total Drama Aslan, I felt like smacking her a little. I would have kicked her if my designer boots weren't so costly."
*She tries to lift one leg up to show off her boots, loses balance, and falls over backwards.*
Valerie - *She drums her fingers together, grinning wickedly.* "Oh, this is so perfect! I've been waiting for an opportunity like this! And all it'll take is a few clever words to say..."
Belinda - *She looks dead serious.* "I know I should have said something to the others, but when I saw what happened, I could only think of finding Joel. It took a while, since he was fixing some of the kitchen machines when I thought he was looking at Vera."
(Room 5 - Ezekiel, Geoff, Gwen, Hannah)
Joel knocked on the door for room five, but only heard soft sobbing inside. He opened the door slowly, and saw Hannah sitting on her bed, crying. He walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder.
"Hannah," he whispered to her. "I heard what happened from Belinda."
She nodded miserably, covering her face. "I've never struck anyone like that before. Not even close to it," she said. "I cannot believe I did that."
Joel sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "You were protecting Rodney."
Hannah wiped the tears away from her eyes. "I... I don't know what came over me. Everyone's going to hear about this. They're going to think I'm a violent nut case."
"No one here likes Colin, Hann-"
"I kicked him in the face," she interrupted. "Who does that?"
"Well, you are a soccer person."
Hannah shook her head. "It all felt like a blur. I wanted to stop him from saying those horrible things to poor Rodney. When I started reaching out to get him to stop, I felt myself thinking, 'That jerk is going to scar him with those words.'
"I felt so mad," she continued, sighing miserably. "Now everyone's going to think of me as the psycho, face-kicking Christian girl."
There was a moment of silence, then the two burst out giggling. "That's the funniest title I've ever heard," Joel said, "and I've heard a lot."
Hannah giggled and nodded. "Well, what do you think? Am I doomed?"
"Even if this gets out, people hate Colin."
"Well, what about hitting him like that?"
"In the course of two seasons, the people here have slapped each other, kicked them in the groin, thrown them off a cliff, stripped them naked for the world to see, almost crippled them, ditched them in peril, and even changed the votes on camera. I don't think you overstepped your boundaries."
Hannah laughed, and leaned against Joel. "You're so sweet."
She kissed his cheek, and he blushed. They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds, then kissed each other.
(Janitor's Closet - Now with stale mouthwash stains on the wall.)
Joel - *with the happiest smile on his face* "Oh wow... I never kissed a girl." *He giggles and grins even more.* "That was... one of the best moments on my life."
Hannah - "You know, when watching the show, I didn't think much about Joel at first. But the more I got to know him, the more I really liked him, and I found out what a sweetheart he is." *She giggles and sighs happily.*
Sakaki - "I overheard from someone that Hannah kicked Colin... but for the life of me, I cannot see a problem with that." *She blushes as she laughs.*
Eva - "So Hannah kicked Colin? Darn it. I wanted to do that first. I kicked Chris Maclean first, I thought I was the official kicker of this show!"
Cody - "Man, the craziest things happen when I'm not around. I cannot wait for the DVD of this season... and the slow-motion when Hannah kicks him."
Yoshi - *grinning wickedly* "Wow. Who knew she had it in her? The awesome thing about this show is that you see the unseen potential in people, and how much ass that can kick."
*He grins, then sniffs the air and scowls.* "What smells like mouthwash in here?"
(Maclean Stadium, Arena)
The crowd roared with enthusiasm as Chris approached the podium where he normally stood. He held in his hand a trophy that had a vampire emblem on the front.
"Now that the victors have all enjoyed their pie and cake, and the losers have apparently been fighting among each other," Chris said happily, "which is so awesome that there's hate and anger and hormones flying!"
Noah and Justin glared at each other, and Katie and Beth tried to keep them apart. Colin was glaring fiercely at Hannah, a band-aid on his cheek. Joel and Tyler were smirking right back at him, while she preferred to ignore him.
The others were a plethora of emotions. Alfred was smiling as normal, tapping his foot. Arthur looked slightly interested, glancing at the others. Carol looked all over the place, Clive down at his shoes. Geoff was chewing on his bottom lip, so intensively that he looked like he was really trying to eat it.
"Now we have ten people up for elimination," Chris said, as he handed out the vampire trophy to everyone with immunity. "And may I point out a little bit of unfairness in this show so far."
"What?" Gwen asked, raising one of her dark eyebrows. "You find something unfair? Now this I gotta hear."
"We have done seven challenges so far," Chris said, returning to his podium, "and so far, the following have never been up for a single elimination: Crystal, Joel, Ezekiel, Bridgette, Katie, Belinda, and Courtney."
Silence. Crickets chirped. Groucho the Duck pulled out a .357 and blew one noisy cricket away.
It was DJ who finally broke this silence. "So how is that unfair?" he asked.
"Well, it means that not one, but seven people have been living a life of luxury on this show," the host said. "And therefore, it feels like they haven't been taking the small lumps we're supposed to be giving."
" 'Luxury'?" repeated Anita.
" 'Small lumps'?" repeated Noah.
"Chris, what does this even matter?" Courtney snapped. "So what if I haven't been up for elimination? There's forty-four contestants and only seven challenges, of course a little luck gets mixed in the equation."
"Oh, let him rant," Belinda said, sounding frustrated. "It's his way of stalling for time for the announcement of who goes, and he also wants more face time since he doesn't get any when we're in the virtual reality challenges."
"Yeah, sucks to be him," Xander replied, sticking his thumb on the tip of his nose and wiggling his fingers at Chris.
As Xander, Izzy, Harold, and Carol made faces at Chris Maclean, the host scoffed and waved his hand. "Yeah right, I'm no so petty as to stall for more screen time. Now, before we get to the final part of this trophy ceremony-"
"NOT BEFORE," Yoshi bellowed, startling the host (and most everyone else). "Quick stalling, you overly-gelled hair freak, and get on with it!"
"Yeah, I wanna see Colin get what's coming to him," Sadie exclaimed, Katie cheering right next to her.
"I want him voted off," Noah shouted, pointing at Justin.
"I want him voted off," Justin yelled, pointing at Noah.
"Pear faced dumb head!"
"Square headed chum face!"
"Boys, play nice," Chef Hatchet muttered.
"Okay, the people to not get any votes and come off clean," Chris Maclean started, holding up a trophy, "which, by the way, is rather startling, as over twenty contestants have never received a-
"CHRIS," most of the contestants shouted.
"Alright, fine," he grumbled. "The following to not get any votes are Tyler, Alfred, Geoff, Clive, Arthur, and Carol."
The contestants all caught their trophies, looking rather relieved, though a few still looked anxious. Alfred sat between Izzy and Mandy, and the three toasted their vampire trophies. Noah and Justin continued to glare at each other, fingers curling threateningly.
"And the next are our major feuders, keep it up boys," Chris said approvingly, "Justin and Noah!
"Which just leaves our violent Colin and our even more violent Hannah!"
Hannah hid her face in shame while he glared straightforward. Joel was right next to her, holding her hand in comfort.
"Oh come on," Mandy scoffed. "This is such a no-brainer. Colin's a jerk."
"It's pretty silly that she even had a vote, but I guess that was Colin," Leshawna said to Harold. "Typical Chris."
Valerie watched all of them talk, drumming her fingers on her arm. She was scowling darkly, violet eyes narrowed. Next to her, Zachary was inching her away from her, though strangely attracted to him at the same time.
"This final trophy goes to... the last person, which is...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"Colin!"
The bully caught his trophy with a surprised and wicked grin. There was silence as he slowly turned to Hannah, and shouted, "HA! Take that, you stupid c-"
Someone reached up from behind him and grabbed his ear. "Believe me," Leshawna hissed as she yanked him back, cutting off his sentence, "you do not want to finish that sentence."
The silence lasted for a few more seconds, Valerie quietly celebrating to herself so as not to draw attention, when Joel broke the silence.
"Wait, you're kidding, right?" he said as he approached the host. "C'mon, that's a bad joke, a psyche, right?"
He nervously chuckled, and Chris simply smiled back at him, his smug grin smugger than ever. " 'Fraid not, Joel. Toodles, Hannah."
Duncan's Bus of Losers pulled up to the side, and the door opened. Joel looked at this with wide eyes, and exploded. "Stop joking around already," he shouted at the host, slamming his hands on the podium. "For the love of... of... God, you cannot be serious!"
"When do I ever kid you guys?" Chris said, his smug grin getting unbelievably smug now; he could practically feel the ratings for this. "Hannah's done, kaput. She's bit the big on-nneeeeaaaaaaugh!!!"
Chris was cut off in the most ironic of ways when Mandy pounced on his back and bit the back of his head. Her teeth locking into his well-gelled hair, she flapped like a flag as Chris ran around the platform, screaming, "Get it off, get it off!"
"You can't be serious, man," Tyler said to the host as he ran by in his panic. "C'mon, there's no way people voted for her when Colin was available."
"That's right," Leshawna added as Hannah pried Mandy off of the frantic host. "This is the meanest joke you've ever said, and it's not really that funny."
Chris massaged his head where Mandy had been biting him, glaring at the snarling cultist as Hannah held her back. "I'm not joking, Hannah has been voted off."
Alfred stood up and pointed accusingly at Chris. "YOU'RE LYING!!"
"I'm not lying! Seriously, why do you all have to make such a big deal out of this?"
Belinda scoffed at this. "We're teenagers," she said. "We're full of angst and hormones, that's why you picked us."
"C'mon man, get serious, the votes have to be fixed or something," Tyler exclaimed, walking over to the host.
"That's right," Joel shouted. "Or you counted them wrong! You're always making mistakes with your other electronics and numbers!"
Chris was taking several steps away from Mandy, who was snapping at him now. "Look, there's no mistake. Hannah had four votes, Colin had three. She's out, and that's that!"
"YOU'RE LYING," Alfred screamed, throwing his head back and his fists up in the air.
"Oh c'mon, you can't be serious," Gwen spoke up as she stood. "Is this about her kicking Colin? We've all done worse than that."
"Yeah, Gwen's right, I know I have," Leshawna protested. "This better not be friggin', politically correct bull crap, Chris!"
"It has nothing at all to do with that!"
"YOU'RE LYING!!!"
"Alfred, please," Leshawna pleaded, wincing at his shouting. "C'mon, Chris, stop joking aroun-"
"How many times do I have to say it to you hypersensitive teenagers with nasty, big, pointy teeth?" Chris hollered, now quite the distance from Mandy who was snarling and reaching out, barely restrained by Hannah. "I know you think it sucks, but them's the facts! She has to go!"
Joel, gripping his hair in frustration, came to a quick decision. "Wait, I'll go instead," he cried out desperately. "Just let her stay!"
"No, let me go in her place," said Mandy, stopping her struggling.
"No, me," Clive cried out.
"Whoa, you like her that much?" Carol asked.
"Naw, I just know I won't win, so I might as well go now."
"Sit back down, hon," Belinda said quietly to the emo. "There's no chance of that happening."
Chris was starting to lose his patience, and was applying emergency hair gel to his damaged hair. "Nobody will be taking her place! I won't have this emotional nonsense, and that strange feeling you call 'love' interfering with the contest's rules."
"What rules?" Gwen hollered, her pale face red with frustration. "You make up the rules as you go!"
"You bend the rules, you even frigging cheat to win bets," Leshawna added.
"AND YOU'RE LYING!!!"
"STOP! Enough, please!"
Everyone was quiet when the last person to yell was Hannah, who looked ready to cry; however, the tears were for her friends, not for herself. "Don't any of you make this difficult for yourselves," she pleaded. "If I have to go, then I'll go! But if you continue to give Chris a hard time over this, you might get in trouble."
"But this is so unfair," Mandy whined, turning to her friend. Tears were starting to form in her eyes. "I want you to stay, you don't deserve to leave."
"We all knew the odds when we entered this contest, that most of us would be going."
"But you're, like, my guardian angel," Mandy sobbed, hugging Hannah (and nearly knocking her over with the emotional "glompage" of the hug). "You saved my life!"
"Hannah," Joel said, also starting to cry, "I don't want you to go."
Alfred balked at the sight. "You're making Joel and Mandy cry," he shouted at Chris, chasing after the host with his trophy.
"Don't, Alfred," Hannah called out to him. After giving Mandy a hug back, she parted from her friend's arms. "It was fun while it lasted, and I look forward to seeing you all in my future. Most of you are simply wonderful people, and I hope God blesses you as the show carries on."
Colin snorted. "And there you go with influencing your beliefs on us. Just go already, you stupid-"
A rather painful CONG!! reverberated around the stadium, and most people thought it was one strike with a loud echo; however, it was six trophies all being thrown at Colin, knocking him unconscious. The six all had one last thing to say.
"Girl, you're too generous," Leshawna said as she dusted her hands.
"I wish I had tried to get along with you better now," Gwen said with a sigh.
"Good-bye," sobbed Mandy.
"Man, this sucks," Alfred moaned. "Why do you have to go when things were so cool beforehand?"
"Take care of yourself, you hear?" said Tyler.
"We all will miss you," said Belinda.
Joel started to mutter good-bye, then he hugged Hannah. She returned that, then cupped his face gently. "You take care, and don't worry about me," she whispered. "You just carry on, and I'll pray for your safety during this show."
She kissed him, so tenderly that it made even the most dark of souls feel a little touched (Colin was unconscious, so he didn't count). Finishing the kiss, Hannah headed for the bus when one person stopped her with a hug.
"I'll miss you," Rodney blubbered, hugging her around the waist. "You were always so nice to me, I'm so sorry you got voted off because of what happened around me."
"Don't blame yourself, hon, not even a bit," she whispered.
"Will we see you again?"
"Of course you will."
"She's right," Belinda said, nodding and smiling for the first time during the ceremony, "you will."
Hannah led Rodney to Joel and whispered for him to take of the kid. Placing a kiss on her fingertips and placing it on his cheek, she waved good-bye and headed for the Bus of Losers.
Duncan had been watching the whole thing, his bottom lip trembling. "Well, that stinks," he muttered.
"Are you crying?" Hannah asked curiously.
"No, I'm not crying," he exclaimed, looking away from her, "shut up!"
He slammed on the gas pedal and the bus rocketed off. Trent managed to catch Hannah to prevent her from harm, and soon the large vehicle had left the arena.
Joel continued to stare at where the bus had been, breathing heavily and trying to keep himself together. As several people gave him their condolences, Chris scoffed loudly.
"Well, that's drama for you," he said aloud as he finished the touches on his hair. "Honestly, are you all going to put up this much of a fuss every trophy challenge? Maybe I just randomly pick so you won't put up this angst-filled parade?"
He had to run, as most everyone (including a tearful Chef Hatchet, a furious Groucho the Duck, and a miffed Chico the Raccoon) threw trophies, chairs, and trash at him.
(Room 5 - Ezekiel, Geoff, Gwen)
Ezekiel entered his room, and saw Gwen sitting on Hannah's bed. The goth girl was staring at where the religious girl's stuff had been, and was looking rather upset.
"You okay, eh?" he asked.
"I've been a real bitch this season so far," she put forth bluntly. "I was nothing but rude to her, and she didn't do anything to me."
"Gwen, you weren't that bad-"
"I know what I was like," she interrupted. "I just wish I could have apologized to her."
"Well, you did stand up for her back there. That says something, eh."
Gwen nodded, still gloomy as she tried to change the subject. "Where's Geoff?" she asked. "I want to apologize to him for being rude to him, before something else happens."
"No idea, eh."
(Room 2 - Beth, Bridgette, Carol, Clive)
Carol ducked into the room and slammed the door shut, eyes wide. "Dude, you should have seen it," she said to Clive, who was lying down and staring up at the ceiling. "Mandy's chasing after Geoff, yelling at him, asking if he voted for Hannah!"
"She was doing the same thing to Arthur, Justin, and Tyler earlier."
"It's so funny!"
The two were quiet for a few minutes after that before Bridgette stepped in, looking ragged. "Mandy's chasing Geoff, and I cannot keep up with them," she said as she panted.
"Bummer," Carol offered.
Bridgette looked at the two, her mind still racing since the trophy ceremony. "Guys, I know you two voted, and it is kind of rude of me to ask, but I want to know..."
Carol scratched the back of her head. "Well, we kind of did vote for Hannah."
"What?" Bridgette exclaimed, her eyes widening with shock. "Why?!"
"Hey hey, calm down, it wasn't because we didn't like her or anything," Carol shouted, holding up her hands in defense. "We were just told that she had got violent with one of the contestants, and Rodney had been present to see the whole thing, which isn't good for a kid to see."
"Didn't you think Colin was in the wrong, though?"
"Well, I didn't know it was Colin who she kicked, I was just told she was yelling and kicking someone," Carol said. "I know Colin is a jerk, but I was just suggested to vote her off because it would be best."
"Oh come on! Hannah was one of the sweetest girls here, what made you think she was a mental case?"
"I don't know that much about her," Carol said. "I've only known her for about a week, and I never really competed with her! Besides, that's what Clive told me."
"Clive?" Bridgette repeated, then turned to the emo. "Who told you that, Clive?"
"Does it matter?"
"Of course it matters!"
"I don't see why, just blame me," Clive muttered. "Someone is going to be blamed for this overall, and people will hate people they shouldn't, people they trust and care about. Just blame me."
He angrily scoffed and added, "I'm used to it. People usually think it's my fault for these kinds of things, so if you're going to blame anyone for this, Bridgette, blame me."
Bridgette slumped against the wall and fell down into a sitting position. After a few seconds, she muttered, "Do... do either of you know if Geoff voted for her?"
They shook their heads. The surfer girl winced and said, mostly to herself, "He wouldn't vote off such a nice girl, would he?"
(Random Location of Maclean Stadium)
Geoff had managed to lose Mandy, though it took a lot of running and dodging. Gasping for air and fanning himself with his hat, he muttered, "Boy, that girl can run when she's mad. Wonder if all cultists are like that."
The party animal waited a minute to collect his breath, his mind wandering back to what really did trigger this...
--
Geoff was being cautious when heading to the Janitor's Closet, where the losers were to cast their votes verbally. He was almost there, hoping a certain someone wouldn't see him. If he got there and cast his vote for Colin, he could relieve some of the guilt he was feeling over Trent, Bridgette, and Gwen...
"Hey, Geoff."
He froze in place, but since he had only one foot on the ground at the time, he face-planted. The speaker winced at this, and waited for Geoff to pick himself up. "Why the sneaky rush?"
"C'mon, I know what you want," the party animal muttered as he dusted himself off. "You're going to blackmail me into voting for someone else, since now everyone's mad Trent left!"
"Blackmail? Of course not! Just because I convinced you to vote for Trent doesn't mean I plan on holding it as a weapon against you," the person said.
"Then what do you want?"
"I want to give you some advice on who to vote for. Hannah has lost it, she's shouting at people, and she even kicked some guy!"
"Whoa, really? Kicked someone? That's harsh."
"Indeed. I guess stress is getting to her. People are going to vote for her, I believe Carol and Clive are. You should too."
"Dude... you sure?"
"Would I lie? Besides, it's one of the new contestants, no one's going to miss another stranger, right?" the person shrugged with a smirk.
"I wouldn't put it like that," Geoff muttered. "Okay, I'll do it. Just please, don't ask me to vote for someone every time I am in this position."
"Wouldn't dream of it."
--
Geoff groaned and shook his head. "I feel like I'm digging myself a really big hole," he said to himself, "and that shovel is possessed. This is not going to end well, it's so... so uncool!"
(Janitor's Closet - Now with kind of smelly mouthwash stains.)
Ezekiel - "Gwen's taking this awfully hard. I doo'nt like seeing her like this, she looks so guilty, eh. And I'm really going to miss Hannah too."
Mandy - "When I find out who voted off the best friend I ever had, I'm gonna-"
(She goes on to list some threats and violent acts that come rather close to what Colin was saying, only she's more creative. And she's actually miming some of it with her sacrificial knife, and it's getting really scary, we're slowly going to cut to another scene, and find our happy place...)
(Another random location of Maclean Stadium.)
Colin was walking away from the cafeteria, very annoyed by all the angry looks he was getting. The bumps on his head were throbbing too, and it was getting rather irritating.
"Dumb, stupid jerks," he cursed. "I'll show them, I'm gonna kick everyone's butt in this contest!"
"Oh, you think you can do that with your current attitude?"
Colin rounded on the person talking, around the corner of the hallway he was going down. It was the same person who had organized Trent's and Hannah's eliminations, but Colin was not aware of this.
"What?" the bully snapped. "What do you care? Shut up!"
"Are you seriously going to carry on like this?" the person asked. "C'mon, you think you'll survive another trophy ceremony with the way you're insulting people?"
"Aw, they know I'm just joking with them. That religious girl had it coming."
"No one was going to vote for her. They were all going to vote for you."
Colin's jaw dropped. "Wha-what? You're full of crap."
"You're only in this contest still because I convinced some people to vote for her instead of you, the right people to ask. Your stupid behavior was a one-way ticket out of here, but I saved you."
The bully's jaw dropped, and then he growled at the person. "Why? Why did you do that?"
"Because now, you owe me. I saved you, and now, you and I have a certain understanding."
"And that would be?"
"That if you want to go far in this contest, you will listen to me when it comes to voting time, and if you keep your mouth shut with those insults of yours, you'll go far. You might even win this."
"Why you helping me, though?"
"Because I like tough guys, I don't like sappy people like most of these sad-sack sobbers. And you're my kind. I've got a couple other people helping me out, but trust me when I say they're expendable."
"What does that mean?"
The person gave a roll of the eyes, but shook this off. "Never mind. The point is, are you with me?"
"Sure, you managed to vote off that girl and keep me on. I like you already."
As Colin walked off, the mysterious person grinned wickedly. "Oh, this just keeps getting better and better. This contest is so mine."
(Voting Confessions)
Alfred - "Who am I going to vote for? Hmmm, I dunno. Maybe the asshole who's pissing everyone off! Colin, of course."
Arthur - "With Noah and Justin feuding, I can finally get one of the major threats off. I'm voting for Noah, mostly because I'm sick of his arrogant attitude." *He shrugs.* "Heck at least I know one other person will be voting for him."
Carol - "Yeah, I know I shouldn't really do this, but if what they say about Hannah was true, I might as well vote for her." *She looks up and whimpers.* "Um, don't be too angry with me, okay Mister God?"
Clive - "I guess I'm going to vote for Hannah. Doesn't seem fair, but such is life, as I have come to grips with."
Colin - "I cannot believe that skank kicked me! What did I ever do to her? I'm so voting Hannah off!"
Geoff - *He is pulling his hat down in front of his face.* "Um, Hannah."
Hannah - "After the incredibly foul and evil things he said to Rodney, I'm going to vote for Colin. May God have mercy on him, because I sure won't if I hear him say stuff like that again." *She takes a few breaths, then makes a quick confession in the closet.*
Justin - "I'm voting for that foul egghead, Noah, the sack of crap!"
Noah - "I'm voting for that crap head Justin, that sack of foul eggs! That Anti-Me of mine is such a spoony bard!"
Tyler - "I'm sure everyone will be voted for Colin. I mean, c'mon, there'd have to be some giant conspiracy for someone else to go!"
Votes:
Alfred - Colin.
Arthur - Noah.
Carol - Hannah.
Clive - Hannah.
Colin - Hannah.
Geoff - Hannah.
Hannah - Colin.
Justin - Noah.
Noah - Justin.
Tyler - Colin.
--
Hannah - 4
Colin - 3
Noah - 2
Justin - 1
--
Voted Off - Sandra, Duncan, Jasmine, Daisy, Owen, Trent, Hannah.
Janitor Closet's Decorations to Date - Mystery Science Theater 3000 Poster on the wall, Noah's Old Cot, Throw Pillows tossed about, mouthwash stains on the left wall.
[1] - Any relation to Harold naming his yo-yo attacks and my love for manga (especially One Piece) is entirely coincidental... or not.
[2] - Gwen being mad that Chris is screwing the rules because he's the host is also not coincidental. Drago-Flame, the wicked and talented artist of Deviant Art, made a TDI Abridged, and he actually used dialogue that I suggested for his comic. It was too cool.
[3] - No, I will not tell you anything close to what Colin might have been saying to Rodney; this is a T-rated story. If you have no idea what horrible things he might have said that'd make Hannah want to shut him up immediately, then consider yourself lucky you haven't been exposed to that kind of sick hatred.
[4] - I know a lot of you Hannah fans may think she's OOC when she kicked Colin. Just remember a few things: Colin was threatening Rodney who's just a child, Hannah is a major soccer player, and it is a comedy story overall. Who would know my character better than me? And you haven't, like Belinda said, seen the last of Hannah.
--
Next Up - Race #4: Fan Service Boats!