This prompt was and still is very interesting to me because of the word "deciding." I remembered some of the wording and wanted to do this one tonight but I'd thought it asked for finding out they were pregnant again. Even for that one, I had an interesting new take, but when I re-read the prompt and saw it just asked for making the decision, I got very excited…because it is different than them finding out. Pretty sure I'm going to do some interesting POV/maaaybe flashback stuff here so watch carefully for line breaks….

Also, obviously time's passed between therapy and the wine. And April stayed, they did a Calzona-esque separation, and found their way back….I don't think that's clear enough but I'm too tired to fix it.

100 Encore, Day 63: "The Last Sip"

"Are you ready?" I ask you. Hovering slightly, I tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and frame your face with my hands.

You smile, but are losing patience, I can tell. "Yes Jackson! I don't understand why you are making such a big deal. We've had sex since, we'll have it after, we're just….trying tonight. Just because you aren't putting a condom on doesn't mean we'll succeed.

"But it doesn't mean we won't," I remind you. "Are you sure?"

"If you both chose to grieve together and then go your separate ways, I wouldn't blame you. Even that choice to see each other through this is admirable." Dr. Talgar reminded them before the big question. "Oftentimes, parents that loose children separate, but it's not necessarily because they fall out of love with each other. They just have to move on, and seeing their spouse everyday is a constant reminder of the child they lost. It is just impossible for them to grieve completely and continue living a productive life. Will both of you accept that option as a possibility if it is what the other chooses?"

Jackson cleared his throat and whispered yes. April nodded, but couldn't look him in the eyes. "And no matter who goes first, do you promise to read the choice you wrote down last on the piece of paper you have in your hand?" They both nodded. "Alright, so who goes first?"

"She can."

April opened the piece of paper, but paused a beat before she read. "I…want to stay married. I lo…" but the doctor cut her off.

"Now his choice, first April."

April gulped and looked to the floor. But he reached over and put a finger underneath her chin, forcing her to look at him. His face still didn't give anything away, so she felt little comfort in the gesture.

"I want to stay married."

She let herself smile but he didn't lean in to kiss her or even squeeze her hand.

"OK, April. Now the why."

"I love you, Jackson. The two months apart from you knowing you were near me and in pain partly because of me were harder than a year in Jordan away from the man that I knew would be waiting for me. Not because you might leave this time. Because I wanted a chance to help you through your grief the way you helped me, before I left. I know that after we grieve together we can rebuild our life. I'm not running anymore."

He just nodded and began reading from his paper. "April, this decision was not as easy as I thought it would be. I had to let myself live life without you, without even the promise of you coming back. And I did. And I was fine. And I took off my wedding ring. I kissed another woman, and liked it."

April felt tears well up in her eyes. But it was good that he was telling he this. According to the rules of the separation, he didn't have to, even though they'd chosen each other.

"I told her I was separated and when she asked why I said because our son died. I felt stupid when I heard it out loud, not because I wasn't supporting you anymore, or because I couldn't handle that truth. I felt it because I couldn't say that I wasn't in love with you. I did move on with my life, but I kept thinking about you. She ordered escargot and I started thinking about how you'd never do that, and if I did, I'd have to dare you to get you to try it. But she picked the place, we'd never go there anyway. I reached for the bill and remembered how you'd always force the waiters to play credit card roulette when our bill came if I forgot to give my card to the hostess beforehand. I almost turned on the country station on the way to drop her off home because I paid the bill, it'd be her choice of music, rules are rules. But then I remembered that we have those crazy rules because we want our card to get picked. I had to pay this bill, she expected me to. And I had to play Top 40 because she chose it. But I didn't want to do any of it for her. I still wanted to do things for you."

"You didn't want to pay for her dinner but you wanted to kiss her?" April asked. She was hurt, there was no way around that. But more than anything she wanted to understand. That explanation might have been the most she'd ever heard Jackson say about his feelings at once. She knew he was trying, but this was going to be hard.

"It's…complicated I guess." he admitted.

"Rebuilding your marriage is going to be complicated, to say the least. But the first step was choosing to do it."

"I'm sure and there are no more strawberries," I giggle and kiss you first, but you pull away.

"But there's wine, do you need another glass of wine?"

"Do you need another glass of wine, Jackson? Are you ready?"

You'd put so much thought into this asked me on the date, would not let me be anything but a sous chef in the kitchen, set everything up, put it all away, and surprised me with rose petals, chocolate-covered strawberries, and wine in the bedroom.

i knew the date would end here before it began. You gave me time to be sure I was ready. You weren't thinking of yourself, weren't expecting the nerves.

"Now that the roughest part of it is done, it's time for the second exercise I asked you to do for today which is about the future. Shall we let April go first again?" There was a collective nod.

"I'm not sure when I will feel ready to have a child. I always thought I was meant to be a mother, but it was the most painful thing I've ever done and I'm scared. Right now in our future I see a lot of hard work, kisses every day, and I'd like to laugh with you again."

"I need another child in our future, even just one. When we fell in love you gave me the chance to be a better father and husband than any man I've ever known. I will wait for you, I will help you get ready in any way I can. But it is something that I need. No one will replace Samuel. But I'd like to tell his brother or sister about him one day."

"Good, so both of you addressed the issue of kids in the future, and neither of you said no. It's a start."

You smirk when I pass you the wine glass you just poured me after taking one sip, but sip it too. I kiss your neck as you drink and hear that giggle that'd come back in the past few weeks.

"Stop! I'm gonna spill. Here, you finish it, I poured it for you."

"Yeah, but you needed it too."

You shrug. "You offered. It's the last sip of wine I'm going to have for at least nine months, I had to."

"You mean…"

"That when I said I was ready I meant it. To stop drinking, track my ovulation, make love love sideways if I have to, and upside down with my hips up, whatever. Let's make a baby Jackson."

You stop, mid-sip and grin at me. "If you're that in, so am I. I can't track my ovulation, but sideways is fun and I can lay upside down with the best of 'em. Let's share our last sip."

You pass the wine glass back to me and watch me swallow. Then you finally climb on top of me, but I know you'll take your time. It had taken awhile to get to this point. Baby or not, we were making a memory.

I imagine the emotions of all of this to be so complicated, I don't think I did the whole process of deciding justice here, but I was really interested in exploring the night they DECIDED, you know? And I sorta mixed that with the process. Hope you liked this :)