Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. Please don't try any of this at home. And if you're wondering where the next joke was in the last challenge's chapters, vampires suck the blood from the joke and I couldn't make a new one in time.
The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - After much heavy consideration, the choice has been made. I won't be going fanon for Total Drama Battlegrounds; however, the love square (Owen/Izzy/Ezekiel/Heather) and love triangle (Anita/Cody/Eva) are still up to chance on which way they will go. The poll to finalize this questioning challenge is to ask how you all feel about the TDI couples formed, just for kicks.
Also, I, or more specifically, am on Television Tropes! I am been troped like famous (and infamous) fiction before me! It's incredible to me, and I like most of what they have to say; however, if I could just make one correction to their tropes, and I'll do more of that on my Deviant Art journal. Daisy and Jasmine are black, not ambiguously brown like Noah, Katie, and Colin.
Warning - The following challenge contains lots of hormones in usage here! We will be experiencing kissing, hugging, groping, snogging, and loving. We also expect wardrobe malfunctions, boy-on-boy kissing and girl-on-girl kissing, so if this is the kind of stuff that upsets you, we are sorry to say that that is the kind of fan service is what drives the boat today.
You all need a kiss at one point of your life.
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Chapter 29 - Moar Fan Service, KThnxBai.
(The Harbor)
Chris was dubious about a boat approaching the harbor this soon, but binoculars didn't lie. Chef Hatchet was watching it closely via said device, and Duncan was already gloating. "Is it Princess? I know it's Princess!"
"Can't see who's on it, criminal," Chef grumbled.
Billy watched the approaching boat, tapping his foot. "This should be interesting, we'll already know who won."
Groucho the Duck was losing his patience with the seagull recruits. "Damn it, focus! You all are staring at... nothing! There's not even anything generic enough for you to be staring at!"
"Mine," the seagulls cried. "Mine mine mine mine mine mine-"
"Oh shut up, you rats with wings," the duck hollered. "Our brave troops are coming in at breakneck speed, and you aren't doing anything about it!"
Captain Chico Stripedrat squinted at the approaching boat. "um, meestur duk? dat boat iz comin in reelee fast"
Groucho looked too, then his eyes widened. "Holy quack, you're right!" He turned to the seagulls. "Men, I leave you to brave handling this situation as Chico and I retreat to the shore! And while we're up there monitoring the situation, we'll be thinking of what a bunch of suckers you are!"
The duck and raccoon ran off, quacking and chattering in panic. The seagulls stared blankly, and one asked, "Mine?"
The humans had also observed the incredible speed the boat was coming at the harbor. "Um, Chris," Chef Hatchet muttered, "you did take into consideration that the boats would have to slow down when they approached the harbor, didn't you?"
"No, why?" Chris said with a shrug. "The boats are insured."
"What about the people on the boat, you jerk?" Duncan exclaimed.
"Oh, they're insured too, they get medical coverage on this show."
"Crap," Billy whimpered, gripping his head. "They're gonna crash."
"As I said, we're covered over this all over! Why are you people so worried-"
The boat rammed into the harbor, taking out some dumb seagulls in the process ("Minnnaaaawk!" Splat!). The heavy impact through all of the contestants into the air, arms flaying and screams aplenty.
Someone covered in pink clothing slammed into Chef, knocking him off his feet and sending him sprawling. Chris cackled it was until someone wearing leather slammed into him, pummeling him into the ground.
Duncan was also hit by a flying contestant, but it wasn't as harsh when he fell down. A fourth contestant hit the ground, leather pants absorbing the impact of the fall and possible scratches. The last contestant flew towards Billy, but the intern had better reaction skills than Chef, Chris, Duncan, or the ground.
Catching the flying person and stumbling back but not falling over, Billy groaned and shook off the shock of the impact. Then shock of the person he caught came to him as the person grinned at him.
"My hero," gushed Carol, throwing her arms around his neck and nuzzling against him. "I loves you!"
Xander looked down at Chris, who was lying on the ground with the rebel sitting on him as a result of the impact. "My hero," he echoed Carol, and pat Chris on the head. "I loves you too."
Chris only moaned in pain, so Xander shrugged and got off him. He went over to help Valerie off of Chef, as the cook was dazed and mumbling, "But mommy, all the other kids have ponies."
Crystal was apologizing to Duncan, as Yoshi picked himself up. "So, who won?" Yoshi grumbled, rubbing his head.
"I think you guys did," Duncan said as Crystal helped him up. "You guys are the first boat here."
"Hot damn," Carol exclaimed, then hugged Billy again. "We won, we won, first place! We can ask anyone out on that cruise!"
She grinned at Billy, who blushed and smiled right back. Chris managed to recover and muttered, "So what did you people do, anyway?
Crystal shrugged. "I don't know really, it's a mystery to me. We were getting all totty, a chin-wag if you will. I was talking about my crushes on Nico Robin, and the more real but just as hot Sophia Bush. Then Xander let us know about some of his man-crushes."
"Karl Urban and Seth Green," the rebel said with a shrug. "Meh, I'm sure most guys do."
"I don't, but it's all good," Yoshi said, brushing himself off. "Can I take off these stupid, leather pants now?"
"C'mon, that couldn't have been all," Chris exclaimed, throwing his hands up in frustration. "You girls aren't even in bathing suits!"
"The boat was going pretty darn fast the entire time as we talked about this kind of stuff," Valerie said, blushing and looking away. "I'd rather not talk about what I was talking about."
"What makes you think I won't go back and watch it?"
Chef, who had also recovered, let out a barking laugh. "You? You're going to watch the show that you're not on? Yeah, right."
"You're probably right, not worth watching," Chris said, shrugging. "But c'mon, what else?"
"Well, Yoshi did some more wicked sword skills, and then Xander was going to tell us about how he got those scars and injuries," Carol said as she finally got out of Billy's arms but not away from him. "You see, he started telling us, and then we started rocketing so fast that we couldn't even hear him."
"But wouldn't the fact that he wasn't speaking kill the ratings? What kept the ratings going?"
"I said I didn't want to talk about it," Valerie shrieked.
"But I wasn't asking you," Chris started to say, then realized Valerie was subconsciously pulling her shirt and skirt down, as if trying to keep her modesty. The host looked at Carol, who grinned and nodded. "Nice," he added.
"I also talked more about my cat," Carol added. "People really seem to like that."
(Janitor's Closet - Now with a few, dried seagull droppings.)
Seagulls - "Mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine mine-"
Carol - *bursting in and flapping her arms, shouting* "Roar! Roar roar roar, rawr! Meow meow, get out! ROAR!"
*The seagulls panic and fly out at Carol's attack, and she stands triumphantly.*
Carol - "Well, that was fun! But about winning first place in the race, I am so happy! I can ask Billy out, I can go on a wild cruise, and I'm on one of the first place winning teams! Hot damn, this is awesome! And it's all thanks to Valerie's skirt coming up, Xander staying mysterious, and my pussy! WOOHOO!"
Valerie - *straightening her clothing, sighing, then grinning* "Well, I think a brief glimpse of my panties completely on accident is fine for a victory. Now I know I can ask Zachary out and finally get something going with him, and I can also feel at ease with this challenge. I am so dominating this show!"
(Team 3 - Courtney (L), Rodney, Lindsay, Ezekiel, DJ.)
The CIT approached the very sea sick Ezekiel, who was still leaning against the side of the boat, moaning in agony. Courtney took a deep breath, then squat down next to him.
"Ezekiel, what is Heather planning?" she asked him, deciding to throw pleasantries and subtleties.
"Urgh," was his answer.
"C'mon, Ezekiel, I have to know," she exclaimed, shaking his shoulder. "I know she's doing something! Was she responsible for voting off Trent?"
"N-no."
Courtney shook his shoulders more. "I need to know! Be honest, Ezekiel, I know she's your girlfriend, but don't you know how she's ruining my chances? And yours?"
He looked at her, face green with sea sickness and eyes glazed over. "What you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean? Sure, I worked with her last season, but now people will think any time something bad happens, I'm responsible too! I haven't done a thing like that the entire contest!"
"Then what are you woo'ried a'boot, eh?" he asked.
"You don't understand the power of 'guilt by association'? Duncan's been voted off because of this."
Ezekiel would have pointed out something he had on mind, but he was so sick and woozy that he couldn't concentrate. He simply groaned and said, "Heather's not doing anything."
"Seriously? She had nothing to do with Trent being voted off? She didn't even vote for him?"
"She didn't tell me anything, I didn't ask her, eh."
Courtney scowled, then stood up. "Fine, don't tell me. Just why you give her such a pass, and why you're even dating her, I don't get."
"Everyone deserves a second chance," he said, giving her a small, sickly smile. "Heck... you got one too, eh."
The CIT looked away, she hated to be reminded of the wrongs she committed last season. It also reminded her that Ezekiel was the one who saved her from ruining everything, and she had a sudden desire to do something to say "thanks."
She grabbed the passing Lindsay in her skimpy bikini and almost threw her on him. "Here, we need drama and ratings," she said as Lindsay fell on him. "Do something!"
Courtney walked off as Lindsay struggled on top of Ezekiel. "Hey," the blond, almost naked, beauty cried out in protest. "I'm dating someone, he's dating someone..."
She turned to him. "You are dating someone, right?"
"Y-yes."
"Hey, are you okay, you're looking green. Oh! Are you an alien? Is that funny thing on your head your antenna?"
As Ezekiel gulped and leaned over the side again, while Lindsay came to her senses and rubbed his back for comfort, DJ and Rodney were busy keeping themselves busy.
"It's very easy, my little friend," DJ said, holding a hackeysack up. "Just watch."
The football star juggled the hackeysack with one foot, then performed a few tricks for the fascinated prodigy. He managed to juggle it over his shoulder, juggled it on the tip of his foot and the back, and rolled it around his foot as well.
Rodney clapped as he watched, and cheered when DJ posed for the end. "Yay, you're awesome! Can I try?"
"Sure!"
DJ helped steady the boy, telling him the tips of hackeysack. "Not too hard, just like your hand, little friend."
Rodney nodded, then dropped the hackeysack. One attempted juggle, and the ball hit the prodigy in the nose. As he brought his hands up to his bumped nose, he accidentally swatted the hackeysack and knocked it over the side of the boat.
A few seconds passed by, both Rodney and DJ staring in shock. The young boy sniffed, and started to cry. "I'm sorry," he wailed.
"It's okay, little buddy, it's okay! I got more! Some fish are just going to have a new toy, that's all!"
(Team 1 - Sakaki (L), Sebastian, Sadie, Katie, Howard, Belinda.)
"This is a really slow moment," Sebastian said, staring at his knees and holding his stomach. "My ol' sea legs are telling me we're not going fast, but my sea stomach is lurching like the ocean. How fast are we going, Sakaki?"
"Pretty fast, actually. I know we're doing really well," she said, rubbing his shoulder. "I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if we were close to the harbor soon."
"Whoa, what have I been missing?"
"Katie and Sadie dancing a lot, Belinda's been," she blushed and stammered, "she's... she's been flashing her bra a lot, but she got tired of that. Howard's also been dancing and he's really been talking with Belinda."
Sebastian chuckled. "Viewers must be anxious to see if they hook up."
"You... you think they will?"
"It all depends. All I know is that I'm not exactly MVP on this team."
"Aw, don't be so hard on yourself," Sakaki said, rubbing his shoulder and back more. "I'm sure you got people watching for you because of some reason."
Howard and Belinda, watching Sakaki comforting Sebastian, overheard this remark. "Oh, I think there are," Howard said, chuckling.
Belinda giggled, then looked out at the ocean. "I wonder if we'll be at the harbor soon," she mused, tipping her visor.
"We just might, but I so am going to miss seeing you dress like that."
She chuckled, then leaned against the side. "Well, it's just for today, and I feel silly, trying to use sex appeal. Never done that before, don't really like to do."
"But you do it so well!"
Belinda chuckled, stretching her back and continuing to stare at sea. Howard decided now, since everyone else was busy, would be the best bet to get some time with her. He walked up next to her, and hummed as he tried to think of a subject. Something came to his mind, and he went with that, "I saw you were really upset last voting ceremony. Did you know Hannah was going to be voted off?"
"I saw it coming, sadly. I should have known someone would exploit her actions, and I was too concerned with her relationship with Joel," she said, shaking her head. "I can be so foolish at times, I never do well when giving bad news."
He nodded. "It sure does seem hard, Foresight, when you have to break bad news to people, when they probably won't believe you."
Belinda looked at him, then stared down at the water. "Um, speaking of which, I have bad news for you."
Howard blinked. "What, is something going to happen? Or... oh no," he whimpered, gripping his shirt. "You don't mean..."
She nodded, and he grimaced. "W-Wait," he stammered, "are we really talking about the same thing, or is my foresight bad compared to yours, Foresight?"
"You've been asking me if I wanted to go out with you," she said, looking at him in the eye now. "I'm sorry, I've been thinking about it, but I really don't think we'd be a good couple."
"Why not? Am I too forward?"
"No, it's me, I'm not your type. I'm political and narrow-minded, I can really start arguments," she explained. "I know you probably don't believe me, but the way I've been behaving is subdued."
Howard looked at her, a pitiful expression on his face. "But c'mon, I don't mind a girl who's kind of fussy. Surely we could get past that?"
She smiled sympathetically at him. "Hon, trust me, you don't want a girl like me. You want someone who's more wild, someone playful and not as sly, and not someone who's judgmental like I am."
The young ladies' man sighed and looked down at the water. "If you're sure, fine. But we're still friends, right Foresight?"
"Of course we are," she said, smiling at him. "And trust me, I'll help you get a girlfriend on this contest. Maybe that other girl you like?"
Howard looked confused, and was about to ask when Katie and Sadie started squealing in joy. Sadie had been looking through binoculars, and was shrieking in joy, "Land, land!"
Katie clapped excitedly. "We're getting close!"
Belinda smiled and tipped her visor. "Excellent. What shall we do to speed us up a little more? I'm tired of flashing my bra."
"Yeah, you've really done your part. Why not the other girls flash their bra?" Howard asked.
Katie and Sadie balked, then glared at him. Sakaki almost fainted, but Sebastian managed to keep from passing out. Belinda shook her head, then smirked at Howard. "You gotta know when to hold them, and know when to fold them, my friend."
"I wouldn't know, I don't have breasts," he grumbled, looking away. Belinda giggled at her friend.
(Team 5 - Izzy (L), Noah, Eva, Cody, Eva.)
"Okay okay okay, I have an offer you cannot refuse, my Noah... I'll give you ten dollars to kiss Cody!"
Noah glared at her. "You really think I'm that cheap?"
"I could ask Katie, but that would be in bad taste," Izzy admitted. "C'mon, I'm sure he tastes good."
"You're not helping your case, you psycho!"
Arthur rolled his eyes. "Fine, don't be cooperative. Let's just get someone else to kiss."
"I'm not kissing any boy, and that's final."
"And Eva won't let any boy kiss Cody, or me," Izzy said with a sad sigh. "Will you kiss me, Noah?"
"No, your seduction methods don't work on me, Miss Prove-It."
Izzy huffed and crossed her arms. "It would have been so easy to prove it, and it wouldn't have been unfaithful to Katie just to prove your sexuality."
"Yeah, I'm sure it would be easy to explain to my girlfriend why there is footage of me going at it with you in tonsil-hockey afterwards."
"You make it sound so much worse than it is! So you won't kiss anyone, Cody can't, Eva forbids it... that's just Arthur and me!"
Arthur raised one of his pointy eyebrows, then smiled. "Well, of course I have no problem with that, but we have to take into consideration how much fan service that'll generate."
"True, true! Well then," Izzy turned to the camera, "hey peeps! In five minutes, I'll make out with Arthur! Come tune in if you want to see it!"
Five minutes past, and the boat barely picked up speed. Eva and Cody, when asked, swore that they didn't feel any pick up in speed. Izzy sighed, shrugged, then looked at Arthur. "Sorry, my spiky-haired friend, but I think it isn't going to help."
"Hey, no problem," he said, smiling at her. "Maybe another time, Red."
"Sure thing, Spiky."
Izzy walked off to go ask Eva and Cody something, and while she wasn't looking, Arthur glared at the camera and flipped it off.
(Janitor's Closet - Sorry, all you Howard x Belinda fans.)
Arthur - "Thanks for NOT helping me get to make out with a hot, wild redhead! Assholes!"
Howard - *sighs miserably, then shrugs and manages a smile* "Okay, I'm really bummed Belinda doesn't want to go out with me, but she's more than willing to help me find a girl. She's so sweet... I wonder what kind of boy she does like! Whoever he is, I think he'll be the luckiest guy on the planet."
*He ponders something, then his eyes widen.* "Or maybe the luckiest girl on the planet?" *He grins, then shakes it off.* "Naw, I'm letting my imagination get to me. Stupid fan service challenge makes me more excited than normal, and I'm normally excited."
Izzy was about to ask the question to Eva and Cody before the boat suddenly rocked both ways. Two boats had passed them, on both sides, and made their both shake left and right.
"Haha, take that, suckers," Zachary shouted in the middle of his naughty dancing. "Team 6 rules, you all blow!"
"Sorry, fellows," Joel, leader of Team 7, called out to the members of Team 5, "but my girlfriend will be at that harbor, and I want to see her as soon as possible."
"How romantic," Izzy gushed. "But how are you two passing us?"
Joel chuckled as he pointed to Justin, who was posing his sexiest and blowing kisses, winking at the camera. Beth was cooing and swooning like crazy, while Colin was instructing him on some more poses.
"Show your butt some more," the bully instructed. "Girls like a man's butt! Good work, you're doing fine!"
"Holy shit," Izzy grabbed her head as she panicked, "you have Colin working with you? Mandy, did you mind control him? I always thought you were capable of that!"
"No. Sadly, I have not achieved that level of cultism," Mandy replied. "It's almost depressing how it wasn't me."
Heather, on her boat, looked rather impressed. "Wow, I never thought that was possible," she mused, then looked at Zachary and muttered, "If only I could tame the dickweed on my team, eh."
Zachary was rocking in his trunks, hitting on Anita, and teasing Clive and Tyler. The jock was getting irritated of it, so he stood near Clive and asked him some questions he thought would be interesting.
"If Lindsay and I weren't dating, would you ask her out?" he asked with a friendly smile.
"No, she could do better."
"But what if she wanted you to go out with her?"
"That'd confuse me."
Izzy watched as both the two boats went by her. "Look, I don't know why these boats are so close to us when they snuck up on us, especially since we haven't seen a boat since we left the harbor, but I refuse to lose a couple hot guys, gossip, and posing! I came too far with all my improper and immoral actions to come in second or third place! We aim for first!"
She turned to the others, and shouted, "Be interesting."
Nothing happened from her four teammates, and Izzy snarled in frustration. "Fine! I'll do it myself then!" Izzy grabbed her top and skirt, and pulled them off, leaving her in just her forest green underwear. "Hey world! Izzy's in her underwear, and look what she's doing now!"
A blur of her tan, green, and red zipped over behind Eva. Most people didn't see what she was doing at first, but Eva sure could feel it.
"Izzy, let go of my breasts," she snarled, but the redhead wasn't letting up.
"Woohoo, girl-girl fan service people," Izzy cheered. "C'mon, don't let Izzy's efforts go in vain!"
Cody turned bright red as he watched, as did Arthur but not Noah, who looked away. Thus he was the only one who truly noticed when their boat went off like a rocket, racing past the other two boats.
"Hey, what on This Island Earth?" Joel exclaimed. "They're getting ahead!"
"I'm posing as fast as I can," Justin cried out. Beth went out and started posing with him, and the couple began to pose like if they were in some kind of romantic ad.
Mandy stomped her foot. "No no no! I wanna see Hannah too! And I wanna be first!"
"Quick, do something interesting, Mandy," Joel cried out.
"I am not flashing my bra!"
"Why not?" Colin snapped.
"It's...," she muttered, blushing and looking to the side. "It's pink. And got kitties on it."
"What?" the bully replied, then began to cackle.
"I had to borrow one from Lindsay, okay?"
"Please just try to do something," Joel pleaded.
The cultist girl tapped her chin, looked at the laughing Colin, then kicked him right in the crotch. The bully cried out in pain and fell down, gripping his tender parts.
"What was that for?" he squeaked as he fell on the deck. "I said I'd help you out!"
Their boat sped up, much to Joel's delight. "You are," the inventor called out to the pained bully.
Justin and Beth cheered, then began making out; this made the viewers even more happy, and they caught up with Team 5. Now Team 6 was now behind, and a couple of them weren't happy.
"What is up with that?" Zachary shouted.
"That's bull," Heather agreed, stomping her foot. "We were leading! Now we need to do more to speed up!"
"Alright, white girl," Zachary walked over to Anita, who looked startled by this. "Show us your boobs!"
He grabbed her tube top and started pulling. She cried out and pushed him away, but he came back. Then Tyler tackled him, but he more so bounced off Zachary.
"Leave her alone, you jerk," he shouted at him, pointing at him from the deck. "How dare you!"
"Hey, you did it, and the people loved it," Zachary pointed out. "Why not show off your man bits again?"
"Yeah, Tyler," Heather said, staring fiercely at the jock. "We shot forward when you lost your trunks."
"Oh, now you're on his side?" Tyler asked. He looked at the other two: Anita shook her head and Clive shrugged.
"Don't do it if you don't want to," Anita suggested.
"Makes no difference in the long run," Clive muttered.
"C'mon, man, unless you think it's not good enough?" Zachary taunted, crossing his arms. "Guess you're not proud enough of what you got."
"Why you," Tyler growled. Something in his mind reasoned with his burning desire to prove him wrong: they weren't going to stop asking him until he dropped him, or they'd blame him for not winning first place.
"Alright fine," he shouted, grabbing his trunks and throwing them down at his ankles. "There, you happy?"
He stood there, naked with shorts at his feet, and with both the girls staring. Tyler put his hands on his hips and was able to ask them to stop staring when he heard what sounded like a very happy whimper nearby.
Team 6 looked around to see Izzy on her boat, looking over the side directly at Tyler. She had the most aroused look on her face, and blood leaked from her nose. "Wow," she gushed.
(Janitor's Closet - Man service!)
Izzy - *sighing happily as she looks up at the ceiling, dreamy* "Now there's a good memory for those lonely nights."
Team 1 never knew what hit them when three boats shot past them, almost tilting the boat. Sakaki screamed and clung to Sebastian, Katie and Sadie to each other, and Belinda had to catch Howard when he almost fell over.
"Hey Noah, check it out," Arthur cried out. "Look at what they're doing on Team 6's boat!"
Noah glanced over, and saw naked Tyler. He groaned and looked away. "Oh I hate you," he spat at Arthur. "I curse you, and I wish something unpleasant upon you!"
The three boats were all gaining and losing speed, so much that it was hard to keep steady. Cody lost his footing and would have fallen over if Eva hadn't caught him.
"Thank you," he said to her, and she simply smiled back at him. After a few seconds, he said, "Don't worry, I can stand now, Eva, you can let go."
"Aw, but I don't want to."
Anita saw this, and her jaw dropped in horror. "Hey... hey," she shouted, grabbing the railing of her boat and shouting, trying to get Eva's attention. "Stop... stop doing that!"
Her feeble protests stopped and she hung her head in despair. Zachary saw how distraught she was, and went over to her. His hand went to her shoulder... and then down.
"C'mon, we're gonna lose," he exclaimed, pulling down on her top. Anita managed to grab her clothing from the front to stop him, but the wrap she wore underneath was starting to get exposed. She tried to push Zachary away, but he wasn't letting go.
Tyler was outraged. "Will you stop that," he started to say before tripping on his trunks and falling over. Heather watched this and gasped, trying to wonder if helping a naked boy up was the best course of action.
Anita was keeping Zachary from lowering her further, but the one to stop him was Clive. He grabbed the whiner's arm and twisted it behind his back. "Let go," he growled.
Zachary did, and Anita corrected herself, looking fondly at Clive. Even Zachary was impressed. "Wow, emo boy, where did that come from?"
"Just because I'm emo doesn't mean I cannot get physical."
"Wild, dude, that's awesome!"
"Save it, you guys want to win a challenge? We need to focus then."
"Wow, now you're motivated to win?"
"Naw, I don't care, but I know you guys do!"
Team 5 was starting to lose again, only having Izzy in her underwear and Eva holding Cody as their power. Noah grabbed his head and cried out in frustration. "No no no, I want to win this," he thought desperately. "Katie gets to be so cute and friendly on a cruise! To see her like that again... I really want that. I'm so sick of everyone thinking I'm gay..."
This clicked, and Noah, who used to think he'd rather swallow arsenic (crystalized into needled and with artificial, hazelnut flavor) than his pride decided to finally do it. "This is for Katie, this is for Katie," he chanted to himself as he headed for Cody. He pulled him away from Eva, who was too surprised to react.
"Just shut up, and don't fight," he growled, already wincing.
Izzy saw this. Her eyes widened and she scurried over. "Oh boy," she gushed, "oh yes, oh yes, oh yes!"
Noah swallowed nervously, winced, grimaced, and then slowly pulled Cody to him. The techgeek whimpered, but didn't fight as Noah started to pucker up...
"AW GOSH," Harold's voice could be heard on all three boats. He was looking at land with binoculars. "We already lost!"
Everyone froze, then looked over at him. "Really?" Heather called out.
"Yeah! There's a team already there, so someone's got first place," he called out.
"But what about to place?" Arthur asked, calling out to him. "Is it the only boat?"
Harold double-checked through the binoculars. "Yeah, only one, and it's a wreck, wow. So we're all safe."
Noah blinked, then he shoved Cody away from him before any kiss happened. Eva caught the techgeek again, and Izzy let out a pained howl.
"Noooooooooooooo," was her exact howl. "So many upset fans! Again! It's not fair, waaaaaaah!"
"Oh, shut up," Noah grumbled as he sulked off, trying to ignore Arthur's guffawing.
Anita saw Eva holding Cody again, and let out a distraught sigh. She clutched her head and muttered, "Man, she's gonna win him over in no time..."
Zachary saw how distraught she was, and walked over to her, realizing now would be a good time to apologize to her.
"Hey," he said, "we're cool now, yo?"
Anita would have given him the evil eye if she felt up to it, so she managed an evil side glance.
(Janitor's Closet - We're apparently not cool, yo.)
Anita - *crossing her arms, looking annoying but mostly sad* "Man, I wish I could get angry sooner, you know? I'm the kind of girl who just lets her anger build up until it blows, usually at an inappropriate time and someone who doesn't deserve it."
*She sighs and shakes her head.* "Eva's lucky. No one would dare grope her."
Eva - *looking a little annoyed* "I cannot believe Izzy groped me on the boat. She even pinched one of my nipples! Seriously, that girl's freaky, but I gotta admire the spirit; I'll let it pass, since I got some good time with Cody."
Joel sighed, then punched his palm. "First place be danged, I still want to see Hannah as soon as possible!"
"Me too," Mandy exclaimed, then looked down at Colin, who was still lying on the deck. She grabbed the bully by his shirt, and lifted him back up, and started shaking him. "Talk, will you talk?"
"I-yi-yi-yaaaaah," Colin replied in midst of the shaking.
"Ooo," Harold cheered, "that looks like fun! Here, let me try!"
The cultist let the nerd take over, and soon Harold was shaking Colin like crazy. "Who do you work for?" he shouted in his best antiterrorist voice. "Tell me, where did you hide the bomb?"
Meanwhile, Beth and Justin were still smooching, and stopped for a second to exchange sweet nothings. "I think you've got the sweetest kiss in the world," Justin said.
"Aw, you flatter me," Beth said with giggles. "And I think you have the best neck to wrap my little arms around!"
The amount of Colin torment, also coupled with Beth and Justin being lovey-dovey, was enough to speed Team 7 forward, and into the harbor. The people there all screamed, panicked, and ran around to hide from six flying teenagers.
Joel cried out in terror as he flew through the air, and then landed in someone's arms; however, his weight was enough to knock his savior over to the ground, but not so rough.
"Wow, you're a lot heavier than I thought you were," said the catcher.
The inventor's eyes widened, then looked down at who it was. He quickly rolled off her, and gushed, "Hannah!"
"Hello, sweetie," she said as she straightened out her blouse and skirt. "That was one heck of a landing! I hope your shipmates are fine!"
Colin had crash-landed but wasn't too bad. Justin had hit the ground too, but Beth was in his arms. Harold had jumped into the water before the boat crash, so he was fine but wet.
Mandy was a different story. "Someone get me out of this tree," she shouted from above. "I'll get the Old God of Trees destroy you all! ... If there is one!"
As the members of Team 7 recovered, and Joel and Hannah caught up with each other, the other two teams came in slowly. They disembarked much more peacefully.
"Aw, you two look so cute," Anita, getting over her distress, said as she saw Joel and Hannah together. She clasped her hands and added, "He's really been sad ever since you left the show, Hannah!"
Joel blushed and scratched the back of his head as Hannah beamed at him. Izzy was busy getting dressed again, Tyler scrambled to get real clothes, and Clive went to get some more ginger ale. He was still not feeling good, and Heather wasn't feeling good either when Valerie approached her.
"Well well, even a skimpy bikini couldn't help you win?" the politician taunted her. "That's too bad, guess you cannot ask Ezekiel on the cruise. You know, the same one you missed last season because you were a goofy nut?"
(Janitor's Closet - Still not cool, yo.)
Joel and Hannah - Joel - "Hey everyone, look I snuck back in!"
Hannah - *blushing slightly and waving* "Hey, everyone! I want to call out to my family and friends, and say I'm doing well! Driving a bus is awesome, it's almost like being on a roller coaster! Maybe my boyfriend here could help me trick it up a little!"
Joel - *grinning* "She's getting into mechanics, and hearing her call me boyfriend... oh be still, my heart!"
*There is a small explosion in his jumpsuit, smoking coming from the front. He pulls out what looks like an exploded pencil.* "Awww, my mechno-pencil."
Hannah - "Oh, I remember you worked so hard on that after challenges. It'll work one day, don't worry." *He smiles at her thankfully, and they hug.*
Zachary - "Haha, Valerie won! And I just know who she's going to ask to come with her! That's just fine, because now that I know she wants me, I'm gonna get me some." *He chuckles.*
Cody - "Eva's actually soft, despite those tough muscles. It's only when she tenses up that she's like iron! Hot either way... but I don't think it's fair overall, since I haven't talked to Anita much. I feel like a jerk, this isn't easy..."
*He sighs.* "I thought a love triangle would be more fun, but it's really, really not."
Harold - "I'm okay with getting second, really. So long as I have immunity, I feel like I can go all the way. And hey, just getting away from the sea, the cruelest kind of woman there is, is a good enough excuse. Like my friend down here."
*He looks down at the floor of the Janitor's Closet.* "How you doing down there, Clive?"
Clive - "Urp... smell of seagulls... brought back... sick stomach... urggh."
Harold - "Try to think of something steady, like a balance beam. Completely steady, it's just you rocking back and forth...
Clive - "URP!"
Harold - "... Oops. That's not good."
(Team 4 - Gwen (L), Leshawna, Geoff, Bridgette, Alfred)
"I think we're getting close," Gwen said, looking at the horizon. "I think I can see land."
"Good, I'm starting to really hate this ride," Leshawna groaned, leaning over the side. "My stomach was not meant to take this kind of waving ride, ya hear?"
Gwen massaged her back as Bridgette came over. "You doing okay, Leshawna?"
"Just fine, upside-down girl."
Bridgette grinned, her face down near the deck as she flexed her fingers. "Over twenty minutes now, I think I'm almost at a half-hour! It's a record!"
"Groovy," Alfred said as he approached. "And say, do you come here often?"
Bridgette looked around to see the gonzo also walking on his hands. "Only when I want to let it all hang out," she joked.
Geoff chuckled as he watched, keeping a distance to avoid any kind of guilt trip happening. Just when he was about to get over this paranoia, a speaker on the boat blasted out some static. Alfred and Bridgette were so surprised that they fell off their hands.
"Hello, sailors," Chris's proud voice blared on all the boats, "We have an announcement! Three boats are left, and thus, the speed of the boats will be decided on the percentage of the viewers, rather than the amount. Break out your best, and lose your dignity, because you'll need to for this challenge! That is all."
Gwen cursed. "I didn't know we were that far behind," she said, face palming. "Man, I'm so stupid!"
"Don't blame yourself, girl, you didn't know," Leshawna muttered. "Hey, we know we past a boat earlier, maybe we're not that far off!"
Gwen nodded, then looked at the others. "Any ideas?"
Alfred looked at Bridgette, then at Geoff, then shrugged. "How about I take a rope," he suggested, "and you all let me drag from the back? That sounds like fun!"
"Improv water skiing can be dangerous," Bridgette said.
"Still sounds like fun!"
Geoff opened his mouth to say something, then the roar of another boat approached. They looked over to see Team 3 approaching them, Courtney looking over at them. The CIT was dressed in her gray bikini, and was grinning victoriously.
"Hello," she called out to them, her voice mocking. "Oh, hi Gwen! Decided not to wear a bikini? Shame you don't come prepared, unlike a CIT!"
Gwen snarled, clenching her fists. Bridgette bit her lip in worry, then saw a sickly Ezekiel, leaning over the side, waving at her. She and Alfred waved back.
Lindsay was sitting down, sulkingly looking forward, bitter about something. Whatever it was didn't seem to be bothering Courtney. "You thought you had me beat, didn't you?" the CIT continued to taunt Gwen. "Well, I'm going to win this one! And you'd better stay away from my boyfriend, goth girl!"
"Miss Courtney," Rodney said, poking Courtney's side, "you should really try to be a good sport-"
"Aw, screw that," Courtney exclaimed, laughing victoriously. "Winning is the best, and I hate being on a losing streak! You gotta learn that, kid, because winning is for winners like us, not losers like the goth girl!"
Team 3's boat seemed to speed up at Courtney's gloating, and it started to speed in front of Team 4. Gwen gripped her dyed hair, crying out in frustration. "No," she cried out. "I'm not going to let that... that annoying, condescending girl beat me again! Not after all she did to me for no good reason!"
"What are you going to do, hon?" Leshawna asked, looking between her friend and Team 3's boat.
Gwen looked around at her teammates, breathing heavily as she desperately thought of an idea, when her eyes rested on Bridgette. Taking a deep breath, she walked over to her surfer friend and grabbed her shoulders.
"Hey," Bridgette cried out, "what are you going to d-"
She was silenced as Gwen pressed her lips against hers, then wrapped her arms around the surfer as she kissed her friend more. Bridgette's pale green eyes were wide with shock, but sank into it and held her friend as their make out continued.
Geoff's jaw dropped as he watched. Alfred started giggling and grinning stupidly, while Leshawna just observed in shock. Team 4's boat was starting to seriously pick up speed, and passed by Team 3.
Courtney saw what was going on first. "What are you doing?" she shrieked. "Bridgette! Stop that... stop kissing her!"
DJ covered Rodney's eyes. Ezekiel let out a high-pitched squeak, and he developed an aroused nose bleed; now he was pale as well as green in the face. Lindsay looked over and saw this, then muttered, "I'm not kissing you, Christina."
Before Courtney could rebuke, Team 4 became practically became a speeding bullet. The goth and surfer continued to kiss until Leshawna shouted, "Hey, hey! We're at land, people! Land! We made it!"
Geoff and Alfred muttered in unison, "Who cares?" as they continued to watch Gwen and Bridgette, but the two girls stopped after they realized what Leshawna had said.
"We... we won?" the flushed goth girl stammered, still holding her friend. "We actually did it? That's all it took!"
"Never underestimate the power of yuri," Alfred cheered.
Bridgette, with green lipstick smeared on her mouth, looked just as flushed but even more dazed. "We won?" she asked, dazed. "What'd we win?"
"In about ten seconds," Leshawna whimpered as she saw their approach, "a crash landing!"
The boat smashed into the harbor like two others behind it. Bridgette and Gwen, holding onto each other, were thrown into the air screaming. They were both caught by one person, who was knocked to the ground, but recovered quick enough to chuckle and comment.
"Oh dear, my girlfriend and my sister," said their catcher. "How could you two do this to me?"
The two girls saw who it was, and smiles were all over their faces. "Trent," they exclaimed and hugged him in unison.
"Sorry," Gwen said, her face still flushed, "but Leshawna has a big family, I didn't want any of them seeing me smooching her."
At the same time, Harold was ready to catch his girlfriend. "Um, dude?" Yoshi said, looking at the approaching Leshawna flying through the air. "I don't think that's a good idea-"
"Into my arms, my love," Harold exclaimed, extending his arms. "I, Sir Harold, will catch you as you glide gracefully to my heart!"
There was a rather painful landing, and Leshawna shook herself off. "Good thing I landed on something soft," she said. When she realized that thing was her boyfriend, she immediately got off and tried to revive her boyfriend.
"You warned him," Daisy, who was standing next to Yoshi, said. The warrior nodded, and hurried to help Leshawna. "Hurry up," she called out to him. "We haven't had enough time to talk yet!"
As Yoshi assisted Leshawna in reviving Harold, Zachary approached Daisy. "Hey, sister," he said, looking very serious, "you ain't into that white boy, truly aren't you?"
Daisy frowned at him. "I don't think that's any of your business," she said, hitting him with her crutch. It wasn't hard enough to hurt him, but he still flinched.
"Now c'mon, I'm serious! You don't want to get involved with him-"
"Shove off," she spat, hobbling off to Yoshi and Leshawna.
As Zachary shook his head (but secretly loved her sass), he was alerted by a couple of strange cries. Geoff was whimpering, "Oh snap, it's Trent," as he ran off, trying to avoid being seen.
From up in the trees, he could also hear some kind of weird conversation. "Hi, Mandy," Alfred was saying.
"Hello, Alfred, what are you doing up here?"
"Shipwreck, you?"
"Same. Luckily, Cthulhu blessed us to survive trespassing on his turf!"
As all this was going on, Team 3 pulled up. Courtney was the first one to exit the boat, fuming and snarling. It didn't help when Chris approached her and said, "Sorry, Courtney, but you and your team lost! Team 3 will be one of those voting!"
Courtney let out a furious snarl. "I... hate... losing," she spat out.
Chris backed off, but Duncan approached. "Aww, sorry, Princess," he said with a smile as he put an arm around her shoulder. "At least you got a nice cruise from here to here again, so I don't mind that you and I cannot grope each other on a real one-"
He was cut off when Courtney grabbed his shirt and slammed her knee into his groin. Squeaking in pain, he fell to the ground. Most people winced terribly when they saw this.
(Janitor's Closet - And we're not over that, yo.)
Beth and Justin - Beth - "You know, I cannot stand how Courtney does that to Duncan. It's just way too violent."
Justin - "Yeah, I prefer a peaceful relationship. The worst you get when you're mad at me is when you slug my arm, and it's not even that hard."
Beth - "I don't want to be violent, ever, especially with you!" *They hug.*
Heather - "If I ever did that to Ezekiel, and he didn't dump me, I'd lose all respect for him. But I'm pretty sure he would, which is why I'm dating him." *She smiles and throws her hair back.* "Let's see Courtney or Valerie brag about that!"
Gwen - "I loathe Courtney, I really do. She has no temperament. I mean, I know I can be grouchy, but to kick my boyfriend in the crotch? And you know what? I'm sure Chris Maclean is going to enjoy showing that footage. Seriously, who finds that funny?"
Colin - "Haw haw! He got kicked in the groin! That's always funny! ... Except when it happens to me."
(The Harbor)
Lindsay was helping Ezekiel off the boat. "Aww, poor Estaban," she cooed as she helped him walk. "Here, let me get you on the shore, and you can continue to puke there."
"Urgh," he replied.
As DJ and Rodney walked off, both wincing over Courtney's violent reaction to Duncan, Heather almost elbowed her way past them. She then saw Lindsay, wearing the smallest bikini she'd ever seen, holding her boyfriend close to her lithe body.
"What are you doing?" Heather snapped. "How dare you..."
"Oh don't start," Lindsay snapped back. "I'm trying to be nice, helping your boyfriend back onto land! Don't you see how sick and pale he is?"
Heather could only concentrate on how scantily-clad Lindsay was, and the dried blood on Ezekiel's nose. "Will you just let go of him?"
"Fine," Lindsay shouted, and shoved Ezekiel away from her. This resulted in the very sick and woozy Ezekiel hitting the ground rather painfully. Lindsay cried out in horror of what she just did, she picked him back up. "I'm so sorry, Eric," she wailed. "I didn't mean to drop you against the ground like that! Oh, you've had such a bad trip!"
Heather helped Ezekiel helped up too, and said something that surprised Lindsay very much, "Sorry, Lindsay, and thank you."
Team 1 sailed in last, slow but without a crash, and Chris was very professional about it. Professionally an ass.
"Well, you losers came in last," he exclaimed as the sailors disembarked. "Last, you're late, so late! Late for dinner, late for the race, late and now voting! You're so late."
"Oh dear," Belinda replied, raising an eyebrow. "With how late I am, does that mean I'm pregnant?"
Howard and a few of the others laughed. Sakaki helped Sebastian on the land, as Katie and Sadie exchanged laughs, ignoring Chris. As all the teams talked to their friends (and family, with the case of Trent and Bridgette), the losers of Duncan's Bus were talking to people they had missed.
"Was Zachary bothering you?" Yoshi asked Daisy when he went back to talk to her.
"Naw. Don't worry about me, even with a bad leg, I can fend for myself."
"I'm sure you can," he said with a smile.
Owen was at Izzy's feet, literally. "Please Izzy," he wailed, grabbing her ankles, "you gotta take me back!"
"Have you changed at all?" she asked, looking down at him.
"Of course I have," he exclaimed as he stood up, looking her in the eye. "I completely chang-"
He belched, and the foul air hit her in the face, making her eyes water. He laughed, and said, "Wow, I don't remember eating that!"
"Nope, not at all," Izzy growled, walking away from him.
Jasmine hugged Leshawna, giggling happily. "You wouldn't believe how happy I am to seeing you! I really missed you, girlfriend."
Leshawna hugged her back. "Girl, I'm missing you too! Could have used your big mouth for that challenge!"
"Aww, you flatter me!"
Sandra stayed on the bus, she didn't care to meet anyone.
As the chatter continued, Chris Maclean cleared his throat. "Okay losers and winners! We know who's who now: Sakaki, Courtney, Sebastian, Lindsay, Katie, Sadie, Rodney, Howard, DJ, Belinda, and Ezekiel! But before we go back to the stadium, we need to take one more fan request! Chef, my PDA, please!"
The cook grumbled as he handed the device to the host. "I am not an intern, ask Billy to do it!"
Chris ignored this, and read the poll results. "Looks like most people voted for... love?"
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah right, forget that! Love is so stupid for ratings, and so boring too! I'm gonna skip that one!"
(Janitor's Closet - Not feeling the love here.)
Leshawna - "Chris's anti-love attitude is about as surprising as a sunrise."
Geoff - "I predict that we need some kind of party to bring out joy and love in Chris. A really big, rocking party that would make him feel the love! ... It would need to be a really big party, like, say, my entire school. And Bridgette's. And..." *He looks guilty, then sniffs.* "Trent's!"
Chris ignored all the protests from the teens, and read the next one. "Yaoi fan service?" he read aloud. "Does that mean boy-boy?"
"Yep," Izzy exclaimed happily. "The people want to see a couple boys kissing!"
"Stupid fan girls," Zachary grumbled angrily.
"Says here there was no boy-boy kissing at all," Chris remarked. "So we need to have two boys smooch." He grinned wickedly. "Noah," he sang. "I nominate you! Where are you?"
A brief scan around, with even some contestants looking, turned up nothing. "Okay, seriously where are you?"
Everyone was looking around, including Owen, when he heard a panicked whisper behind him. "Owen, I beg of you for everything good and holy," Noah muttered behind him, "do not let anyone know where I am!"
"I don't know if I could be that sneaky..."
"Do it for donuts!"
"Mmm, can do."
Chris looked around, and stomped his foot. "Okay contestants, we're not leaving until two of you boys suck face!"
Tyler shook his head, then looked over at his friend Ezekiel. The prairie boy noticed the look, and straightened his toque. The jock tossed him a pack of breath mints, and smirked. "Well, dude, shall we?"
Ezekiel sighed and popped a few mints into his mouth, crunching and swallowing them quickly. "Alright, but you lead, I'm still woozy."
Tyler walked over, took his shorter and tired friend in his arms, and kissed him on the lips. Everyone noticed, and the reactions were as far apart as possible.
"Oh, sick," Zachary grumbled as he watched Tyler deepen the kiss.
"Oh, joy," Valerie squealed in joy.
"OH *censored* YES," Izzy shouted as she ran over and got close. "My Zekey and that handsome man... oh-ho..."
She swooned and fell down, nose bleeding. Tyler finalized the short kissing spree with his friend, and helped straighten his toque. The woozy prairie boy had much more color in his cheeks now.
"Not bad," Tyler said to his friend amid all the gagging, cheering, whistling, and comments. "You're not a bad kisser, Zeke."
"You too, dude. But my girlfriend is better, I've got to say, eh."
"Yeah, Lindsay's better than you too."
Lindsay gasped, smiling and clasping her hands. "Aww, that's so sweet of you to say!" She looked at Ezekiel and said, "Isn't Tyler sweet? He says I'm a better kisser than his best friend!"
(Janitor's Closet - NOW we're feeling the love! And holy cow.)
Noah - *He wipes his forehead.* "Oh thank God I didn't have to kiss Cody. I was afraid with Eva and Izzy on my team, they'd make me. I'm really sick of people asking me to do that... my sisters keep saying it... argh!"
Bridgette - "Well, it was so sweet to see Trent again! Gwen was so happy too, that was a treasure too! But what was also a treasure..." *She starts to giggle and blush.* "Was Ezekiel and Tyler! Wow, some gals are going to love that!" *She grins.* "I'm one of them!"
Tyler - *He purses his lips.* "Hmmm, you know, I always thought kissing another boy would be really gross, but that was just fine; I guess when you've done as much kissing as Lindsay and I have done, lips are just lips." *He smirks.* "Lindsay and some of the girls seem to like it."
*He chuckles, then hears giggling on the floor.* "What the... Izzy! What are you doing lying there... aw for crying out loud, you have a nose bleed again?"
Izzy - "Ehhehehehee..."
Xander and Crystal - Xander - "So, that's our plan for the cruise reward then?"
Crystal - *nodding vigorously* "Yes yes! Oh thank you!" *She hugs him.* "What can I do to thank you?"
Xander - *grinning at her* "Hehe, you just did."
Yoshi - "So I'm allowed to ask anyone I want? Well, it was so nice seeing Daisy again... I wonder if she likes boats." *He taps his chin.* "Hmm, should have asked that when we had a chance back at the harbor."
Daisy - *popping up behind him cheerfully* "Ask me now!"
Yoshi - "AWK! Wow, you managed to sneak up on me? When you're still using a crutch? In a closet?"
Daisy - *She grins at him.* "Good, aren't I?"
Yoshi - *He smiles.* "Wow."
Chef Hatchet - *wearing a French maid outfit as he cleans up the floor and walls of the closet* "I don't mind that I sometimes have to clean things out for my paycheck to get a little bigger, but the outfit is too much. Why can't I dress like a normal cleaner, like say, a janitor?"
(Maclean Stadium)
The contestants were all running around, trying to get things done and talking to friends they hadn't been with on the boat ride. Some contestants had to vote, some wanted to talk to them who they should vote for. More than one conspirator were running amok.
DJ was walking down the hallway when he was stopped by Katie. "Oh Deej," she said, putting her hand on his chest, "I need to talk to you about who you should vote for!"
"Oh really? I'm not so comfortable with this kind of planning-"
"No no, it's all right! Sadie is going around asking people to vote for who we want!"
"Really? You two are going about separately? That's not like you."
Katie giggled. "Oh I know, right? But we really want to have Howard voted off! He kept wanting to kiss the girls, or get us to smooch! Sadie's probably talking to other people now."
Belinda walked into her room, sighing and shaking her head. Arthur, who was reading a comic (and quickly threw it at the other end of his bed so she didn't see him read it), noticed her anxiety. "Something wrong, blue eyes?"
She shook her head. "Everything. I have a bad feeling about what's going to happen tonight."
Arthur looked at her, covering up the comic book with his legs so she wouldn't see it. "Well, if you can foresee this, why not do something about it?"
Belinda blinked, then smiled at him. "You know, you're right."
She hurried out of the room, leaving Arthur to wonder a few things. Shrugging, he sat up to get back to what he was doing in secret. "Hope I didn't fold any of the pages," he grumbled to himself.
Sebastian sat in a chair, twiddling his thumbs. He sighed, then looked down at his feet. "Philosophy does have many sayings," he said to himself, "for what one is supposed to do in these cases. 'Judge not, lest you be judged,' among others."
He sighed again and stood up. "Well, time to make the call. Suck it up, man."
Valerie slammed Zachary against the wall, looking deep into his dark eyes. "We're finally going to get someone to go," she said to him, "now go out there and get some people to vote for who we want!"
"Righto, girl. Do I get a kiss or someth-"
He was thrown out of the room they were hiding him, blinking in surprise. She also left the room in the opposite direction, leaving him alone. He chuckled and said, "Damn, she gets hot when she's political... whoa, I sound like Duncan."
Carol stared up at the ceiling. "Billy," she swooned, and added, "Hee hee hee."
Courtney stomped down the hallways of the inner stadium, keeping her arms crossed behind his back. She ground her teeth as she continued to grumble things under her breath. "I'm gonna get that blond," she spat out. "She could have done so much more. DJ too! And-"
"Ezekiel?"
The CIT spun around to see someone standing nearby, someone she didn't think she'd see addressing her. Little did she know that this was the same person responsible for Trent and Hannah's eliminations.
"What do you want?" she snapped.
"My, everyone's so touchy," the person scoffed, then shrugged it off. "Well never mind that, I've come a little favor to ask you."
"What could you possibly do for me? I know who I'm going to vote for."
"Ezekiel, right?"
"No, I-"
"That would be your best bet."
"I'm not voting him off," Courtney exclaimed, then realized herself, and lowered her voice. "I have no reason to vote for him, and I don't want him off."
"Really? Even if I told you..."
The person continued to speak, and the CIT's eyes went through a mixture of widening and narrowing. When the explanation was done, she had a few words to say.
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. You vote for Ezekiel, and everything will be safe. Trust me, I've talked to some people about it."
Courtney sighed. "Alright, fine. But if this doesn't work out, I'm going to be very mad!"
"How's that different than any other time?" the mysterious person replied, leaving Courtney sputtering indignantly.
Lindsay was also mad, but not sputtering. She was looking more so at the ground when she walked, so when the mysterious person came out to talk to her, they collided. She hit the ground, and was offered a hand to help to her up.
"Oh, I'm so sorry," she apologized, calling the person by the wrong name as well as she was helped up. "Thank you very much."
"It's no problem, it was all my fault. Say, can I ask you who you're going to vote for?"
"Courtney! She was, like, so mean! I cannot stand being around mean people."
"Look, I know about that, but I want your help with something else, if you could hear me out?"
"I can hear you out," she said, beaming proudly. "You have a clear voice, and my ears are picking it up just fine."
"Oh boy," the person thought, and quickly explained the plan to Lindsay, hurrying as there was someone nearby waiting for a turn to talk to the blond beauty.
(Maclean Stadium, Trophy Platform)
Chris Maclean walked out in his expensive suit, basking in the cheers of the audience. HE loved this very much, knowing it was all for him (well, not really, but that's what he thought he knew). "Well well contestants! Watching all of you scampering around the stadium, I have to say, I'm very pleased with all the scheming, treachery, and diabolical planning! I love it!"
Many eyes rolled, Gwen's the hardest. "You would," she remarked. "I'd kill for a drama-free season."
"But where would that leave the show?" Leshawna asked her.
"Totally Stressless Island wouldn't be a bad spin-off. At least for me."
"They'd probably play New Age music."
"Gag me, never mind."
Chris impatiently tapped his foot. "I may have to gag you teenagers to get some damn screen time! Now will you please let me do the announcement?"
"Have your screen time, monkey man," Alfred called out.
Chris glared at him as he grinned impishly, and sighed. "Okay then, I'll be brief. Thirty-seven contestants, thirty-six trophies with this nice boat emblem on it. If you get one, you stay another day. You don't, you get to arrive on Duncan's Bus of Losers!"
"It's not mine today," Duncan remarked.
Chris looked at the criminal, who jerked his thumb at the approaching bus. When the doors opened, Hannah waved from behind the wheel. Joel waved back and blew her a kiss, to which she blushed and smiled at him.
"Gross," Chris remarked to this, earning more eye rolls. "Fine, I'm making this quick, because the votes are a doozy!"
He cleared his throat, and named those who had won immunity as he tossed out trophies. This left those who had not, and most of them looked around nervously. "For you losers who have not lost," he said, throwing out more trophies, "Sebastian, Rodney, Lindsay, Sadie, Katie, Belinda, DJ, and Sakaki!"
This left only Courtney, Howard, and Ezekiel without trophies. The CIT took this for a couple seconds before she began sputtering angrily again. "Someone voted for me?" she shouted. "I should have known! The indignity of-"
"One vote, girl," Chris snapped, shoving a trophy into her hands. "Don't flatter yourself."
"I can do that," Duncan said, grinning at his shocked and relieved girlfriend.
"Yeah, so she can kick you in the nuts again," Gwen remarked. Courtney shot her a death glare while Duncan looked away, pondering that.
Howard and Ezekiel exchanged nervous glances. The prairie boy nervously pulled down on his toque and bit his bottom lip, not daring to peek but just a hint. The ladies man nervously cracked his fingers, then wrung his hands when he ran out of digits to crack.
Heather looked close to a nervous breakdown, while Izzy was inches away from a major freak out. Bridgette and Tyler were both also looking at their friend with worried faces, while Belinda squeezed the sleeve of her shoulder, unable to bring herself to look.
"I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"Okay, Howard or Ezekiel, who's getting the final trophy?" Chris taunted them. "Well, I'll tell you! This final trophy is going to...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
"Ezekiel!"
The prairie boy didn't have to time to react after he pulled up his toque, and the trophy hit him in the face. He cried out in pain, then glared at Chris from between his fingers, covering the growing red spot on his forehead. "Gee, thanks," he grumbled.
"If you don't want that trophy, I can always give it to him," Chris replied smugly, pointing at Howard.
Howard had slumped his chair, jaw hanging open in disbelief. "Aw, c'mon," he whined. "This doesn't even fit the romance pattern! Trent gets Gwen, he goes. Hannah gets Joel, she goes. I didn't even get a kiss, and to hook up was exactly what I joined the show for!"
"Sorry dude," Chris said with a shrug, "that's the way it rolls sometimes."
Howard sighed heavily, then stood up. "Guess it's fair. Oh well." He turned towards the others and waved, managing a smile. "Guys and lovely ladies, I had fun! I'll see you all around, and good luck!"
He got a few waves and a couple good-byes back, which made him slump in disbelief again. "Oh come on," he cried out. "Hannah got that huge, protesting, tearful good-bye, and that's all I get?"
The ladies man sighed and shook his head as he walked towards the bus. "I must have been a real hoser."
"Don't say that about yourself now."
He turned to see Belinda, who had approached him when he hadn't been looking. She let go of her sleeve, which was creased from the intense squeezing she had done. "I'm... I'm sorry, I tried to get people not to vote for you, but I failed."
"You predicted that too, Foresight?"
She nodded, and he sighed. "Man, I guess I really blew it then, eh? No girlfriend, not even a kiss-"
"Hey, I didn't say either of those," she said, smiling at him now. She approached him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. With a pat on the shoulder, she added, "It may seem like too much, but you have strength to make it through this. And remember what I told you about the girl you liked.
"Now go get 'er, Howard."
Howard stared at her in astonishment. He reached up to feel where she had kissed, then he shook with excitement. "INSPIRATION," he declared, throwing his fists into the air. With a big smile, he practically bounded onto the bus.
"Seriously, what is it about love with you weird teens?" Chris remarked, shaking his head. "Okay then, about the cruise winners, you are going to be riding this bus to the harbor again! So I hope you're ready to pick your lover for the cruise, because you need to now!
"Who did you pick, Carol?"
"I pick Billy," she exclaimed, jumping up and pointing at the intern, who had been watching up at the ceremony from the ground.
Chris scowled. "You cannot take an intern, you nut. Pick a contestant, someone with a soul."
Carol's jaw dropped; she looked like someone who had been told Christmas was denied by a slap in the face. Then she growled and grabbed Clive's sleeve. "C'mon, emo boy," she declared. "You're coming with me on that cruise!"
"What? No-hoooooooooooo," Clive wailed as he was dragged towards the bus. "Not more boats!"
"Okay next," Chris said, looking at a piece of paper for reference; while he wasn't looking, Carol motioned for Billy, and the intern snuck on the bus. "The next person is Valerie."
"I'd like to take Zachary," she said, smiling. "He's the only one in our room who didn't win the prize, I think that's fair."
"How generous," Chris gushed.
"And from what I've seen, the sea makes him randy; I hope most people bought that excuse," Valerie thought, grinning mentally. "Come on, Zachary!"
"Righto," he said, following her. While she got on the bus, he paused to turn around. "Woohoo, I'm gonna be on a boat again! And hey, no thanks to my own teammates, who barely did anything to win the contest."
"Oh, yes, about that," said Anita, who stood up and approached him, "for trying to pull my top off for the world wide web to see..."
She slapped him across the face. "Jerk," she shouted before walking off.
"Damn, what's her problem?" Zachary muttered before getting on the bus.
Chris shrugged. "Women can be so touchy, you know dudes? Alright next, Yoshi."
"Am I allowed to take someone who's been voted off?" the warrior asked as he stood up.
The host rubbed his chin, then shrugged and smiled. "I don't see why not."
"Fine then, I'll take Daisy with me."
As people whistled and catcalled, someone from inside the bus let out a wild cheer. "I told you he'd pick me," the person shouted, then popped her head out the bus window. "Get on here, you!"
Yoshi chuckled to himself as he got on the bus, and Chris cleared his throat for attention. "Okay, next, Xander."
"Actually, Crystal and I came to an agreement," the rebel said as he stood. "We want to do something rather special."
"Well, if you two are going to ask each other," Chris said with a smirk, "that just cancels out the other's choice, eh?"
"Not quite," he said, shaking a finger at the host. "You see, I'm going to ask Leshawna to come with me..."
"Say what now?" Leshawna shouted as she bolted to her feet. "You got a lot of nerve, biker bo-"
"And Crystal here," Xander continued amid the gasps and murmurs of the contestants, "is going to ask Harold to come with her!"
More gasps and murmurs ran about, and Leshawna was stunned silent. Harold was on his feet, and grinning happily. "You'll do that?" he asked.
"Hell yeah, man," Xander said to him, grinning as he spoke. "Crystal thinks you two need a little time together, since you live so far apart."
"Don't that beat all," Leshawna said, smiling. "Sorry I lashed out there, Xandy boy."
"Errrrrgh," the biker winced at the name. "Please never call me that."
"Hey now, wait a minute," Chris's angry protest hushed the murmurs among the contestants. "I see what you're doing there!"
"Cor blimey," Crystal said, looking nervous, "there's not a rule against it, is there?"
"Well no but-"
"And even if there was, too late now," Xander said. He grabbed Leshawna's arm and said, "Come on, my lovely date."
"You too, handsome bloke," Crystal remarked as she pulled Harold's arm.
"You darn rebel," Chris sputtered.
The four were on the bus in a flash, and Duncan quickly followed, exclaiming, "Okay, Hannah, move over!" The doors closed, and the bus took off like a roller coaster ride: slow at first and then rocketing. Duncan never got a chance at the wheel, he just had to sit down and enjoy the ride of his life.
Chris slumped on his podium and grumbled, "I think you teenagers take advantage of my generosity sometimes."
"You have that?" Geoff remarked.
"Could have fooled me," Belinda added, walking off with her hands in her pockets.
"My God, I need a drink now," Chris muttered, rubbing his forehead. "Hey, Mr. Intern! Fetch me a bottled water! Intern! Where is he..."
(Room 6 - Harold, Heather, Izzy)
Heather gripped her head as she sat down on her bed. She got up, paced around the empty room, then headed out. She couldn't think of anything but what she had been told earlier that day, right before the ceremony.
...
"What do you want?" she asked the mysterious person. "I cannot even vote this time around, why don't you-"
"You might want to take close watch of this ceremony," the person said to her. "It might give you some insight on how the others feel about your boyfriend."
Heather froze up, and then shouted, "You'd better not try anything-"
"I haven't interfered with anything. But what I've heard among all the people running around, you'd be surprised."
This came with a cruel chuckle, and Heather felt her blood go cold for a couple seconds. "You... you didn't-"
"As I said, it's all set," the person said, spinning around and walking away. "Don't bother talking to me after the challenge if you know what's good for you or your boyfriend when all is said and done tonight. And tell him nothing."
...
The cryptic comment at the end had left Heather in worry, but also the belief that the person had not voted off her boyfriend. Seeing the results, she guessed it was all true.
Still, though she wouldn't talk to that person, she wanted to see Ezekiel. Knocking on his door, she hoped for him to answer, but Gwen did.
"Is Ezekiel here?" she asked, hoping for no smart remark. Gwen complied with that unknowingly, merely opening the door more so she could see him seated on the bed. He smiled at her, then stood up and left the room to see her.
"Should I lock the door after you two, or not even bother?" Gwen broke the silence with a not-so-innocent grin. Heather scoffed and waved at her, grabbing Ezekiel's wrist and pulling him with her.
They head to their usual secret room, but when she opened the door, they very suddenly realized it wasn't secret anymore. Noah and Katie were on the bed, him without a shirt and her with just her bra on, looked over at the couple who had just walked in, shocked.
Noah reacted first by glaring. "I suppose you all didn't believe and wanted visual proof?" he spat out, then waved at Heather. "Shoo."
She rolled her eyes and closed the door. Noah sighed and grumbled, "I forgot to lock the damn thing, one moment."
"You know, no one thinks you're gay, since you're seeing me," she said cheerfully as he went to lock the damn thing. "Why does it bother you, you know it's not true."
"That's why it bothers me, that they keep insisting something that's not true."
"That's complex," Katie muttered, biting her lower lip in confusion. She shrugged, gave him one of her sweet smiles and said, "But I knew you were the moment I started crushing on you."
He smiled and returned to her, just as Heather found another of the unused rooms. She led Ezekiel in and locked it.
"Heather," he said to her, holding up his hands as if preparing some kind of attack, "look, I love this as much as anyone, but it's starting to woo'ry me, eh. I mean, this is the third night you've brought me somewhere secret, all flustered and nervous. Is something bothering you?"
"No," she lied, and Ezekiel could tell.
"Is it someone, eh?"
"Ezekiel," she started to say, then let out a long sigh. "Look, you know I wouldn't keep anything major from you, right?"
"Of course, eh."
"Well, the major thing is that I'm worried a'boot... about you," she stammered, trying not to adapt too close to his accent, lest she lose the serious tone in her voice. "You just nearly got voted off!"
"That happens-"
"It doesn't just 'happen,' and I want to know why," she exclaimed. "Did Courtney get mad at you on that boat ride?"
"She got mad at everyone, eh, she's like that."
Heather opened her mouth to reply, and then burst out into giggles. Ezekiel smiled and hugged her girlfriend. "Hey, I'm not going anywhere, eh."
"I sure hope not, my Zeke."
(Janitor's Closet - Cleaned up by Chef Hatchet, in non-script format again!)
Alfred and Mandy were busy making out, as Izzy watched and grinned. She would let out a coo or a cheer when there was something she particularly liked, and she wasn't ashamed to show it.
Mandy's face was flushed when Alfred released their final kiss of the spree, her terra twist hair style bouncing up and down as she panted and corrected her top. "Oh wow, that was hotter than the black flame candles at home," she said, fanning herself.
"What'd I tell you?" Izzy exclaimed with a cheer. "Making out is great, especially when you do it with some dirty girl and a camera watching you! It'd be better if there was a web cam or something nearby! My turn!"
She flung herself on Alfred, almost knocking the flushed, panting gonzo over. Mandy let out a groan and said, "Actually, I think I'm gonna get some sleep. I'm tired, I haven't checked on the rats, and watching isn't as much fun as doing it."
"Sleep well then, Mandy," Alfred said, grinning at her as he tipped his hat. "Hope we're on the same team tomorrow, you're always a good teammate to have!"
"Aw, you're so sweet," Mandy gushed as she went for the door. "Shame that means you'll be the first to die a grisly death when evil comes from up from hell to prey on us mortals."
As she left, Izzy giggled and shook Alfred in her arms. "Didja hear that? Didja? She thinks you're sweet!"
"Radical," Alfred said, blushing just a tint more on his already cherry-red face. "But if I am the first among the many to die, is it worth asking her out?"
"It so is, I told you about that," Izzy said, knocking on his cap's lid. "You see, inside that fiery cultist girl that is my best friend is a sweet candy girl waiting for a wild gonzo like you to make her feel sugary sweet! Every girl wants that, every sane girl!"
Alfred nodded. "That includes you too, right Izzy?"
"Don't be silly, of course it does; I'm sane," she said. "Just really a total genius, which is why I think you need to hook with her. Ask Crystal if you need help."
The gonzo giggled. "Cowabunga!"
"After you make out with me one last time, that is," Izzy instructed him, then she ground her lips into his. They wrapped their arms around each other, and moaned happily as they kissed.
Alfred broke the make out spree to ask one quick question. "Um, why does this need to be in the janitor's closet anyway?"
Izzy rolled her eyes and smiled at him. "Duh."
"That's what I thought."
They went back to making out.
(Duncan's/Hannah's Bus of Losers)
"Woohoo, I'm letting you drive more often, girl," Duncan exclaimed, holding his hands up in the air.
Most of the others let out wild cheers, including those on their way to the harbor for a cruise. Howard was the only one not reacting, just sitting down and staring out the window at the very fast moving scenery.
Jasmine walked over and sat down next to him. "Heyas," she said, alerting his attention. "I cannot get over how they voted you off. That was so wrong!"
"It happens," he said with a shrug.
"And I'm really sorry things didn't work out with Belinda. She so should have gone out with you."
"Oh well, that happens too. At least she's still my friend, maybe it's for the best."
"What makes you say that? I mean, I'd be-"
The bus went off a small hill and everyone got airtime. Jasmine screamed and grabbed the nearest thing, which happened to be Howard's hand. He gave her a comforting squeeze as he said, "Oh, I dunno, I think think of a reason or two."
He winked at her, and for the first time in her life, Jasmine was speechless, just smiling and giggling.
(Voting Confessionals)
Katie - "Okay, I talked to several people, and so did Sadie. We think it's time Howard goes, he's really too much!"
Sadie - *looks distraught* "I got lost... and I didn't really talk to anyone about voting..." *face palms* "Doh! Well, I'm still voting for Howard, maybe Katie talked to people about it."
Sakaki - *nervously poking her fingers together* "Um, I'm going to vote for Howard, because he's so forward, it's overwhelming..."
Sebastian - "I think it's time to vote off Howard. I hate being one to cast judgment, but he really needs to learn a lesson about being forward with girls. Sadly, turnabout wouldn't be fair play here with him."
Howard - "Okay, I know Belinda asked me to vote for someone else, but truth be told, it'd kill me to see another hot girl go. So I'm going to vote for Ezekiel, on account of another suggestion."
Courtney - *She has her arms crossed and eyes narrowed.* "Right, this better work... I vote for Ezekiel. If all goes well though, he won't be going home tonight."
Ezekiel - "Katie asked me to vote fur Howard, which I really hadn't planned on doing, but then a'geen, my plan befur'hand was undecided. So, I'll vote fur him, eh."
Rodney - "I didn't want to vote for anyone on my team since everyone tried so hard to win, so I had to take a suggestion from someone else. I vote for Howard, I guess."
Belinda - *frowning at the camera* "I promised Howard I'd help him out, so I've gone and asked several people to vote for Courtney, as that's who I want to leave tonight. But sadly..." *She sighs and shakes her head.* "I think most people are not going to do it. I don't even think Howard will..."
DJ - "Katie asked me to vote for Howard, so I guess I'm gonna do that. She also asked me what I thought about Sadie. I wonder if she's trying to get her friend hooked up this season?"
Lindsay - "Alright, like, I knew I said I was going to vote for Cora, but I was told by a couple people that the person I should really vote for is..." *looks at a note* "Ezekiel.
"And if I know that person, he deserves to be! How he acts like he's all that, how he has that obvious crush on that nice blond girl, how he's pretty much a mean sexist little creep!"
*She crosses her arms and sticks her nose up, then she suddenly starts to fret.* "But the name 'Ezekiel' sounds so familiar to someone else I know... am I thinking of the right name? Oh, this voting stuff would be so much easier if I knew who the person behind the name was!"
Votes:
Katie - Howard
Sadie - Howard
Sakaki - Howard
Sebastian - Howard
Howard - Ezekiel
Courtney - Ezekiel
Ezekiel - Howard
Rodney - Howard
Belinda - Courtney
DJ - Howard
Lindsay - Ezekiel
...
Howard - 7
Ezekiel - 3
Courtney - 1
...
Voted Off - Sandra, Duncan, Jasmine, Daisy, Owen, Trent, Hannah, Howard.
Janitor Closet's Decorations to Date - Mystery Science Theater 3000 Poster on the wall, Noah's Old Cot, Throw Pillows neatly arranged, crowbar imbedded in the left wall, elbow-shaped dent in right wall.
...
Next Up - Virtual Reality Fight: Aliens on a Spaceship!