4

I had been dreading this day since I had realized that Dean would be leaving. He had gotten the call from Bobby yesterday and was needed in another town. Dean had spent the night with me and now Sam had arrived with the Impala fully roaring and purring perfectly.

Sam stepped toward me, "I've got your number and email address, I'm sure we'll be asking for your help in the future, if you don't mind."

I smiled and gave him a brief hug, "I don't mind at all."

Sam pulled away and smiled at me, "I'm sure I'll be seeing you again soon. And then you'll be joining us." He slid into the passenger's side of the car and gave Dean and I a moment.

Dean stepped toward me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "I will be back. It might be a couple of months, but I will come back."

"I know. And I'll be here."

"You have all our numbers?" I nodded. "Good, I'll call you as often as I can."

I nodded and took the jacket collar in my hands and pulled him down to kiss me. He kissed me long and hard and deep, then pulled away and walked around the car. He glanced at me one last time before climbing into the driver's seat and starting the car.

I watched the Impala drive onto the highway through the tears filling my eyes. I stood there and let a few tears fall before I gathered my senses and returned to my life.

Dean called most nights and filled me in on where they were and what they were doing. I always answered his call, even if I was sleeping or working.

After a long shift on a saturday night at the tavern I finally was able to crash around 4am. I fell asleep only to be woken up by Dean's call. He had been gone for over a month now and I was growing lonely.

"What time is it?" I asked as I answered the call.

"Morning over here, watching the sun rise right now. Did I wake you?" His voice was low and deep, I could easily hear the longing in his tone.

"I don't mind." I replied.

"I know, but I hate waking you up."

"It's fine." I said.

"You know, I didn't think I would miss you this much. I can't seem to stop thinking about you."

"I miss you, too, Dean." I replied, feeling the tears burn my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

"I just wanted to hear your voice, Dee." I heard a rustle on his line, "I needed to hear your voice."

My heart ached at hearing the pain in his voice, but it also thrilled me to know he was feeling the separation like I was.

"How's Margaret doing?" Dean asked, changing the subject.

"She's doing good. Glowing with more health everyday."

"When's Rachel supposed to be there again?"

I chuckled, "Still a few months at least."

Dean groaned, "You're killin' me, Dee!"

I heard Sam's voice in the background. "Hey, Dee." Sam's voice said through the phone. "Do you mind if I send you some photos. Need some of your programing skills to help. I'll send an email with what we need. If you don't mind?"

"Sure, send it to me. Let me get some sleep first and I'll look at it later." I replied, stifling a yawn.

"Thanks, Dee, you're the best." Sam said.

"I gotta go, Dee. I'll call you later." Dean said after taking the phone from Sam.

"Alright, I'll check the email later and let you know."

"Sounds good, babe. Talk to you later. Get some sleep."

"I will." I heard the line click and silently told him that I loved him.

We hadn't personally said the love word to each other and I refused to be the first. I kept my feelings and my heart close to me and tried to do my best not to let my feelings get in the way. It was hard to lock the feelings I had for Dean away, but I did my best and curled up and feel back into a restless sleep.

After a few hours of tossing and turning I climbed out of bed and grabbed my laptop. I quickly read Sam's email and what he was asking. I ran the program to begin plotting the blueprints that Sam wanted in clearer 3D views. Within a couple of hours I had the blueprint done and emailed it to Sam.

A half hour later my phone rang. I answered, "You're a beautiful genius, Dee. Thanks for doing that."

"No problem."

Dean explained to me why they needed the blueprints and I listened, yearning only for him to be next to me.

We spoke for a few more minutes and then hung up. I showered and made my way to the tavern.

Days turned into weeks and I hadn't heard from Dean even once. I got worried, but did my best not to be clingy.

When my phone rang while I was at work one night, I quickly had Kelsey cover me while I went outside and answered it.

It was Sam, and my stomach sank, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Sam replied. "Have you heard from Dean?"

"Not in a while, why?" I knew my tone clearly showed my worry.

"He's fine, I was just wondering if he had called you recently. He's been acting extra brooding and grouchy."

"He hasn't called in a couple of weeks. I got a text a few days ago giving me your location, but that was all."

"Alright. Well, he's fine. We're both fine. I'll talk to him, let him know to call you."

"Thanks Sam, but do you know why he hasn't called me?"

"I might. I think he might be feeling guilty."

I knew exactly what Sam was talking about even without needing to talk to Dean. "Well, then tell him this. Tell him that as long as he returns to me, it doesn't matter."

"Dee-"

"Just tell him. He'll understand."

"Alright, I'll tell him. I gotta go. Hopefully, he'll call you soon."

I hung up and returned to work.

The days dragged into nights, that seemed to drag on in their loneliness. I signed up for a car show outside of town, in hopes that it would take my mind off of the fact that Dean still hadn't called me.

After driving back home after the final night at the car show I was speeding down the highway. I sped past the tavern and almost stopped by for a drink, but decided to go straight home instead.

Winter had already blown a blizzard through town, now we were just hanging on for spring to warm the frost and melt the last few bits of snow. As I pulled around the garages I hadn't noticed the dark vehicle sitting along side the office.

I pulled the keys out of the ignition and got out. Something urged me to look along side the office and my heart soared while my stomach flipped.

Dean stood there in the shadows, leaning against the Impala.

He smirked his crooked grin at me, "Ted said you had gone to a carshow out of town, but that you would be back tonight. We waited at the tavern for a while. Ted got Sam a room and after he crawled away to bed I came here to wait for you." He crossed his arms.

I wore a pair of tight jeans and black heeled boots with a black shirt that fell off of one shoulder and was short. I had my own black leather jacket on, to fight off the chill. My hair was curled to perfection and my makeup was a bit thicker than I usually wore it, but I dressed up for the car shows, blending in with the hot models, while showing off my own hot car.

"Have you been waiting long?" I asked, stepping toward the stairs and motioned with my head for him to follow me.

He closed the door behind us as we stepped into the warmth. "I've waited long enough." He said in a husky voice. "Now, get over here and kiss me."

I had already put my jacket down and my keys. I stepped over to Dean and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me with all the longing I had been feeling and made it melt away and flood my body with pure desire and the strange energy flowed freely in my veins.

I let him carry me to the bed and have his way with me. Afterward I was laying on his chest.

"So, Sam said you were feeling guilty." I said, for no reason.

Dean sat up and put his legs over the side of the bed, his shoulders tense. "It was one night, and it was a mistake."

I moved behind him and kissed his bare shoulder as I caressed my hands around his chest. "I told you that you could. So long as you return to me, it doesn't matter."

He turned around and faced me, "It was still a mistake. I regretted it and felt like I didn't deserve you anymore. Then Sam told me what you said."

"And you still didn't call."

"I decided that the only way to feel better was to return to you." He pulled me near him and rested his forehead against mine. "I didn't think I would miss you so much."

My hand clung to the back of his neck. "I missed you, too."

He wrapped his arms around me and kissed me slowly and tenderly. Then he took the next couple of hours reacquainting himself with every curve of my body. We passed out in eachother's arms.

When I woke up, Dean was in the kitchen getting himself some coffee. I grabbed my silk robe and wrapped it around my bare body as I joined him. He set a cup in front of the barstool where I sat down.

"So, what are you guys doing in town anyway?"

"Passing through." He set down his coffee. "Things are getting bad, Dee. Not sure when I'll be able to come through and see you again."

I sipped my coffee and nodded, "I understand. In a couple of months Rachel will be home. I've already been getting things ready for leaving. Once Rachel comes home I'll be leaving."

Dean's eyes softened, "I wanted you to be with me, I still do... But things are getting dangerous. Maybe it'll be safer if you just stay here."

I stepped around the breakfast bar and put a hand on his bare chest. "I know what you face-"

"No you don't." He said.

"It doesn't matter. You and Sam both said I could be useful. Do you not believe that whatever you're facing I can't help?"

"Of course I know that you can help, but I don't want you in harm's way."

"I can handle myself, Dean."

He smiled, "I know you can, but I would feel better knowing that you're safe."

"And I would feel better knowing that I could be by your side and see us all safe." I replied.

He brushed my cheek tenderly, "God, Dee! I'm crazy about you and it's more of a distraction than anything."

"Only because I'm not with you." I said, not sure whether I was trying to convince myself or him.

"I can't help but think that you're right about that." He rested his forehead against mine and wrapped his arms around me. "God, I missed you. I missed having you in my arms." he smiled as he brought his lips to mine. "I missed you kissing you." Then he wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up and carried me back to the bed. "And I missed your body wrapped around me."

We spent the afternoon in bed and met Sam for lunch at the tavern.

Sam wrapped me in a hug, "Guess I missed you more than I thought. Though not as much as Dean." He let me go and Dean pulled me back toward him as we sat in the booth.

Dean kept at least one hand on me at all times and I loved the feeling of him being so close. I hadn't realized it before, but without him, I wasn't myself. I was tired, overly drained, and just felt like I was missing a huge piece of who I was.

They didn't stay long. They left the following morning, leaving me to gather the broken pieces of me again. And leaving me more determined to get on the road to join them.