CHAPTER 6: I CAN'T LOSE MY MIND WHILE WISHING FOR YOU
Night Three
"Chloe!" Stacie called through the house as soon as she and the others entered. "We're back." She glanced out by the pool but didn't see the redhead on the deck or in the water. She placed her bags down on the sofa and continued walking through the home.
"Where is she?" Jessica asked as she followed Stacie's actions and dropped several bags on the floor.
"Maybe she's napping." CR shrugged.
"I'll go check." Aubrey offered. She placed her things on a nearby table and headed for the stairs taking them quickly up to Chloe's room. The door was open so she quietly walking in. "Chlo?" She whispered. She didn't see the redhead in the bed so she continued into the room. "Chloe?" Aubrey said seeing Chloe standing on the balcony. "Hey. We're back."
Chloe didn't make a move. She wasn't ready to explain anything to anyone and she was praying that Aubrey would just leave but she wasn't that lucky.
"Chlo." Aubrey said as she came up next to her. "Hey what's wrong?" Aubrey asked alarmed when she saw Chloe's red eyes. "Did that little shit do something? I'll kill her."
"No" Chloe said with a heavy voice.
"No?" Aubrey asked.
"It wasn't Beca" Chloe croaked.
"Then what's wrong honey?" Aubrey asked pushing a strand of red hair behind Chloe's ear.
"Luke was here." She said as she finally turned towards her friend. She was hoping it wasn't as bad as it felt when she turned towards Aubrey. Chloe knew when she'd seen her face in the mirror about 30 minutes ago that it looked bad. She was praying time had healed it a little but by the immediate expression on Aubrey's face she knew it didn't.
"What the fuck Chloe!" Aubrey yelled loudly. She reached forward and gently cupped Chloe's face in her hands turning her head slightly to the right to inspect her face. She watched Aubrey's expression fall and tears fill her eyes as they raked over her face. "Did Luke do this?" She demanded.
"What's going on guys?" Stacie asked walking out on the balcony. She'd heard Aubrey yell.
The blonde and the redhead turned to see Stacie and their other friends standing looking at them.
"What happened?" Jessica asked softly as she pushed past the others. She looked closely at Chloe's left eye and cheek.
"Luke was here." Chloe repeated.
"What?" Stacie questioned loudly.
It seemed to be all Chloe could say. She was having trouble processing what had taken place in the last hour and now all of her friends were here staring at her … wanting answers … wanting explanations and she wasn't ready. Tears began pouring out of her bright blue eyes.
Aubrey pulled her quickly into a tight hug. Squeezing her best friend to hopefully provide Chloe with comfort but feeling her best friend in her arms comforted her more. She didn't understand what had taken place in the few hours they'd been gone. Everything seemed fine when they left and now here they were.
"I'm going to make some tea." CR said. "Clean her up and bring her down. It will help to calm her." She instructed.
Stacie stood frozen. She couldn't believe her eyes and Aubrey just continued to hold the sobbing actress.
"Okay" Jessica was the only one who acknowledged.
XxXxXx
Jesse slammed the door behind him. "Becs?" He called out walking through the guesthouse. Shortly after Beca ran out of the mansion he got the call from Lily that the other girls were ready to be picked up from their shopping excursion. It had been a couple of hours since he'd seen Beca and he was frantically looking for her. He rounded the corner and found his best friend sitting just outside of the sliding glass door in a lawn chair with a beer in her hand and a couple empty bottles at her feet. He slid the door open slowly. "You okay?"
She made no attempt to move or even look at him as she sat in the chair with Tuck's head laying over her bare feet.
"I'm sorry." He quickly apologized. "When Amy called me this morning and told me to drop them at the Marina with Lily and then pick up someone at the airport she didn't say who it was. I didn't know he'd be here."
"But you did know he existed." Beca replied her voice flat and emotionless. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I tried to call you from the airport when I saw who it was but you didn't answer the phone." He said quickly. "I tried to warn you."
"It's fine Jesse" Beca sighed and lifted the bottle, placing it to her lips. "I don't care." She added after she swallowed.
Jesse knew better. He knew she cared and he knew she was hurting even though should probably wouldn't admit it. "His name is Luke Chambers. He's the lead singer of the band Hammersmith. He's been photo'd with a different actress recently and I swear I didn't think they were still together."
"It's okay Jesse … really." Beca said as she let the bottle slide from her palm down towards the concrete, placing it down next to the other empty bottles. She pushed herself up from the chair. "It's not like I have any reason to be upset. I just thought" Beca paused to collect her emotions, "I don't know what I thought. It doesn't matter."
"Where are you going?" He asked.
"Got to get dinner started." Beca said quickly. She wasn't looking forward to it but it was her job.
"I called Amy and she sent Bumper over. He's going to take over the charter." Jesse said hoping it would make Beca feel better that she didn't have to go back over to the house.
"Why would you do that?" Beca said loudly. "That's not your place Jesse."
He took a step back defensively. "I thought it would be easier for you to not have to see her again."
The kicked puppy dog look in his eyes sobered her up slightly and she lowered her voice to a normal level. "Thanks but that still wasn't your decision Jesse."
"I was just trying to help you." He said softly.
"I don't need your help." Beca replied as she brushed past her friend and into the house. He stood looking out the backside of the house until he heard her bedroom door shut. His eyes floated down when Tuck whined and laid his head back down on his white paws.
XxXxXx
Chloe sat with her hands wrapped around the mug.
"Okay." Aubrey said when she walked back into the room. "He's gone." She leaned down and softly kissed the top of Chloe's head. "Amy said that the driver she sent to pick him up confirmed that he found Luke in town and him and Lily put Luke on a plane about 10 minutes ago."
"What happened Chloe?" Jessica asked softly.
"I was" Chloe blinked quickly to stop herself from crying again. "I was with Beca" she choked on the woman's name as soon as it left her mouth.
After seeing Chloe's face, Aubrey had forgotten all about the chef and now as Chloe composed herself to speak she couldn't stop wondering where the girl was and how she fit into all this.
"We were walking on the beach and when we came back... all of a sudden he was here." Chloe managed to get out. She turned quickly to Aubrey, her eyes already pleading before she could ask, "Can you find out where Beca is? If she's okay?"
Aubrey nodded.
"Did Luke hurt Beca too?" Stacie asked taking a seat next to her friend and gently rubbing her back.
"No" Chloe said. "I. I did."
"You did what?" Stacie asked.
"I hurt Beca." Chloe confessed her eyes filled with tears.
"How did you hurt Beca?" Stacie was lost. She was trying to follow the redhead but it just wasn't adding up.
"We had such a good time on the beach. We talked and we were getting to know each other better and I invited her up to the house." Chloe said shyly. "When I came up here Luke was here. I was shocked and then Beca came in and" Chloe fought back a sob. "I hadn't even told her about him. She had no idea." Chloe couldn't contain her emotions anymore. "The look on her face when she left. She was so hurt."
Stacie reached around and hugged her friend.
"I deserved everything that I got from Luke." Chloe cried.
"Hey!" Aubrey called from across the room. She lowered the phone from her ear. "Don't you ever say that Chloe." Aubrey was pissed. "I don't care what you did. You absolutely did not deserve that. Do you understand me?"
Chloe nodded as she cried in Stacie's embrace.
Aubrey put the phone back up to her ear when she heard the deep voice on the other end.
"Jesse. Hey it's Aubrey Posen. Do you know where Beca is?"
"No ma'am." Jesse answered professionally. "Bumper Allen, our other chef on staff, will be coming back to do your dinner service and he will be taking over all culinary responsibilities for the remainder of your stay."
"What? No. That's not" Aubrey looked back over at Chloe who was looking at her with large blue eyes. "That's not why I called. Chloe wanted me to see if Beca was there. If she was okay."
Jesse didn't say anything.
"She's really worried about her. Jesse please." Aubrey said softly.
"If she was so worried then she would be calling herself. Actually she wouldn't call. She'd be looking for Beca but I guess it's hard to do that now that her boyfriend is here." Jesse lashed out.
Aubrey held her tongue. She didn't want Chloe to hear her conversation so she made her way out to the pool deck before she spoke again. "He's not here." Aubrey said quickly. "I don't know exactly what happened yet because Chloe's having a hard time getting it all out without breaking down into tears but she's worried about your friend. So, could you please just tell me if you've seen her and if she's okay." Aubrey tried to ask politely.
"What do you mean he's not there?" Jesse asked.
"He's gone." Aubrey replied. "Chloe sent him away. I don't know all the details but he's not here. That's what I've been trying to tell you."
Jesse lowered the phone when Beca walked into the living room of their small house. Her bag was thrown over her shoulder and she was glancing around for her things.
"Where are you going?" He asked.
Aubrey put a finger to her other ear so she could hear the conversation on the other end of the phone.
"Have you seen my wallet?" Beca asked as she looked around the room. She thought she'd tossed it on, "Never mind" she said finding it sitting on the table next to the back door. She tucked it into the small side pocket of her duffle bag before looking outside. "Tuck." She said loudly. "Let's go."
"Beca wait" Jesse pleaded. "Where are you going?" He asked.
Aubrey walked into the house quickly. "She's at the guest house but I think she's leaving." She announced to the group.
It took Chloe less than two seconds before she was on her feet and racing towards the front door. She pulled it open and ran as fast as she could towards the guesthouse. She hadn't been there in the last two days so she wasn't sure of the way but she ran towards it as fast as she could.
Jesse followed Beca outside waiting for her answer. "Beca will you just hold up a second. Where are you going?"
"I'm done here. I spoke with Amy and she confirmed it so I'm going home." She said as she tossed her bag into the back of her Jeep. "Plus we have other charters and now that Bumper is on this one, someone needs to supervise the other houses." She held the door open for Tuck who stood next to Jesse. "In the truck. Let's go." She snapped her fingers but the dog didn't move. He looked up at Jesse before turning back to his owner. "Now. Tuck." She commanded.
Tuck barked and then ran towards the old faded blue jeep. He jumped into the driver's side before finding his place in the back seat, laying across it like he knew he was supposed to do.
Chloe heard Tuck bark as she continued towards the guesthouse. She could see the front of the house but didn't see anyone or the dog.
Beca turned the Jeep over and drove away sending a cloud of dust and sand flying behind her.
"Beca wait!" Chloe called out as she saw the truck drive away.
She came to a stop next to Jesse who still had his phone in his hand and Aubrey on the other line. "She's gone." He said into the phone.
He turned to see the redhead standing next to him crying and breathing hard. "Oh my God. Chloe" He said grabbing her chin gently and tilting her head up towards him. "What happened?"
XxXxXx
Amy walked into the rundown bar and looked around. It was after midnight and she and Jesse had been looking for Beca since she left the estate. It was the few remaining places she could think of to look and she felt relief wash over her when she saw her small friend sitting alone at the end of the bar. She made her way across the room slowly approaching her friend as if she were a wild jungle animal. She knew that if Beca caught sight of her too soon the chances of sending her running away again were high. She made eye contact with the bar tender who realized who she was walking towards. He made a motion across his throat signaling to Amy that he'd cut the brunette off from any more drinks. She took the last step and sat down slowly on the stool next to her friend. "Hey Shorty" Amy greeted softly. "I've been looking for you everywhere. We all have been."
Beca didn't move or speak. She just continued to look straight ahead.
"Beca?" Amy asked. "Will you speak to me please?"
"I ah" Beca cleared her throat. It had been a while since she opened her mouth to speak. "All the charters have eaten and are done for the night." Beca stated. "So I'm off. Thought I'd have a drink."
Amy nodded. "Right. Well. I've been calling you."
"I left my phone somewhere. My house maybe." Beca replied softly. "Sorry."
"Are you okay?" Amy asked. She hadn't seen Beca this depressed before. It was scaring her a little bit. She'd seen her in many emotional states. Happy. Pissed. Grumpy and even sad but she hadn't seen this before.
"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" Beca asked turning towards her friend.
"No reason." Amy said quickly. Beca obviously didn't want to have a straight forward conversation about it so she played along.
"So did you get what you needed?" Beca asked.
Amy sat up straighter at the immediate change in topics. "Yes. Thank you." She answered quickly. She knew Beca didn't have the whole story but for some reason the small brunette didn't need it. She never asked any questions, she just gave Amy what she had requested. "I couldn't get EVO to get a plane here anytime soon and it was an emergency to get"
"It's fine Amy. It doesn't matter." Beca said quickly cutting her off. "Anytime you need the jet then use it. It was my father's and ... it doesn't matter. It's yours whenever you need it. I don't really need to know or ... care."
"It's your plane Beca. I'm always going to ask you." Amy said sincerely. She appreciated that Beca was generous with her fortune. It had allowed them to start the company and employ their friends and live in a beautiful place with little to no worries.
Beca nodded.
"I saw Chloe." Amy chanced. "She's worried about you shortstack. She didn't"
"It doesn't matter Amy." Beca sighed. "She didn't tell me. She" Beca looked at her friend with sad eyes, "I don't know. I thought she liked me but I guess she was just messing around. So it's fine. I am just being stupid."
"Messing around how?." Amy asked.
"She kissed me." Beca admitted. "It was kind of just spur of the moment so, I obviously just took it the wrong way." She lifted her glass to finish off her drink.
"What if you don't know the whole story Beca?." Amy asked gently.
Beca slammed the whiskey glass down on the bar top. "No." She said forcefully. "I don't want to talk about it. If you want to talk to me, you can talk to me about business. That's all."
XxXxXx
"Any luck?" Chloe asked as Jesse climbed out of the SUV.
"No. I checked her apartment, Una Mas, a few bars we like" Jesse said with a tired sigh. "And she won't answer her phone. I've left her like 19 messages."
Chloe followed the man to the guesthouse. "Will you please give me her number? So I can call and explain." Chloe asked.
"It won't work Chloe. When Beca's done ... she's done." Jesse said stopping and turning towards the redhead. "This is what she does."
"What do you mean?" Chloe asked not wanting to believe that Beca was done with her without even letting her explain.
"She runs." Jesse said simply. "She's a runner."
"A runner?" Chloe questioned.
"Yeah. When her parent's" Jesse stopped himself suddenly. He didn't know if Beca had shared those details with Chloe. His best friend was purposefully guarded and sharing those kind of details with someone she just met and barely knew was out of character for her.
"They died. I know. She told me." Chloe said as she crossed her arms across her chest to keep herself warm.
His jaw dropped slightly. He was shocked that Chloe knew. Shocked that Beca told her. That she trusted this stranger so quickly. He realized that where ever Beca was, she was hurting way more than he originally thought and by the looks of the redhead in front of him, she was hurting just as much. "When they died, she left New York. She ran to LA." Jesse began to explain. "When things weren't working out for me there, she convinced me to leave. We ran away and we ended up here. It's just how she is Chloe. For what ever reason, she trusted you and I don't know for the life of me why. She doesn't do things like that." Jesse said reaching to touch her shoulder comfortingly. "I'm sorry."
Chloe dropped her eyes to the pavement and nodded her head slowly trying to understand. She looked back up at the man's brown eyes, "Okay. Well" She said, her voice thick with emotion, "when you see her will you please tell her that I'm so sorry? Please?"
Jesse nodded.
XxXxXx
Amy swallowed hard. She had something to tell Beca and knew she was about to be pissed but it needed to be discussed. And it was about business.
"So I can't have Bumper back at the mansion. He um" Amy paused as she watched Beca slowly turn her head towards her. Her expression was scary. "He and Flo went out on a grocery run before dinner service and he got a few tacos from a stand on the street. Flo said she tried to stop him but he didn't listen. Anyway, he was plating dinner when it hit."
Beca's jaw slackened and her eyes widened as she tried to keep up with Amy's story.
"He threw up everywhere. All over the kitchen. On Flo and the servers." Amy shook her head. "Poor Benji" She mumbled.
"What happened to Benji?" Beca asked quickly.
"He slipped in it and fell. He broke his arm in two places. Donald just got him back home from hospital an hour ago." Amy recapped. Now that the event was over she was having trouble fighting back the smile that she knew would lead to so much laughter it would end in tears.
"No" Beca whispered as the smile began to appear on her face.
"Beca. Don't" Amy warned.
"I'm not" Beca said trying her hardest to keep a straight expression as tears filled her eyes.
"If you laugh, I'm going to laugh." Amy admitted trying to purse her lips together.
"I'm not" Beca said failing at holding back a smile. It only took a few seconds before both women were laughing hysterically. "Oh my God, it's not funny" Beca managed to squeak out in pieces.
"No. You're right. It's not." Amy agreed but couldn't stop laughing.
XxXxXx
Chloe rested her head against the shower wall, letting the hot water bounce off the top of her back and cascade down her body. The steam had fogged up the glass windows and she felt safe for the first time in hours inside her own little glass box. She was able to hide from everyone for the first time in hours and was emotionally stable enough to think about exactly what had happened that day.
She lifted her head up and let the rain shower head cover her face as tears continued to escape her eyes. Their time on the beach had been perfect. It was what Chloe wanted. It was how she had always imagined being with someone would be like. Easy and playful. Warm and safe. She'd wanted to bring Beca into her room and into her bed. She wanted that connection with the DJ. But when she saw Luke standing in the hallway looking into her room she froze. She couldn't believe he was there. She couldn't understand how he got there. When she heard Beca call out to her she ran back down stairs. Then she felt Luke's body pressed tightly against hers. She felt his arms tighten around her waist. She saw Beca's confusion in her eyes. Saw the hurt when Luke kissed her neck. Heard the heartbreak in her voice. She watched it all happen and didn't do anything to stop it. To ease Beca's pain.
After Beca left she finally pushed away from the man and that's how it started. She told him to leave. She told him she didn't want to be with him anymore. That's how she found herself picking herself up off of the floor after she told him there was someone else. She didn't think he would ever strike her. He had said mean and hurtful things to her in the past that left emotional scars but he'd never physically harmed her. That changed when she looked at herself in the mirror an hour later. After she called Amy to arrange for a driver other than Jesse to take him from away from the house. She didn't want Jesse to see her like that. She didn't want Jesse to tell Beca what happened. She waited with him for Donald who Amy said she would send immediately. She waited while he interrogated her. While he screamed at her. While he called her names. Disgusting names. Then she went to her room to try and clean herself up and before she knew it Aubrey was holding her face. Asking her what happened. She'd finally told her. She'd told them exactly what happened. She told them that she didn't know where Luke was. He was probably still in Cabo and would probably come back. And thank God for Aubrey who immediately called Amy and asked for help. She wasn't sure of the details but somehow Luke was flown out of Mexico on a private jet. He was gone and she felt safer but still a nervous wreck knowing she needed to explain everything to Beca. She needed to beg for forgiveness.
Chloe dropped her head back down and let the water rain over the top of her head again as she thought about Beca. Of course she wouldn't have any idea where to find a girl she'd met two days ago. The woman she felt so connected to after such a short period of time. So she asked her friends. Her best friend. But he couldn't find her. He went to her apartment. To the other homes they rented but he kept missing her. He called but she wouldn't answer her phone. So they enlisted Amy's help again. And Lily. But then Bumper ruined everything when he got sick all over the kitchen and living room. Jesse led the servers over to the guesthouse and hosed them off in the back with the water hose before letting them in the house. Donald was called in to take Benji to the hospital. Her friends were in their own rooms traumatized from what they saw. Stacie was covered in puke and Aubrey couldn't hold back. As soon as she saw it and smelt it she joined in. It was one of the worst things Chloe had ever seen but someway somehow she'd been spared. Jessica wasn't as lucky as she tried to help Stacie and CR was the smartest one of all. She ran away immediately. But that was hours ago and no one had spoken to Beca all day. And if they had, they weren't telling her.
Chloe reached forward and pushed the handle down causing the water to stop falling. She used her palm to wipe the steam away from the glass that had accumulated. She took a shaky breath as the realization that she may never see Beca again wash over her. But maybe she didn't deserve to.
XxXxXx
"Hey" Jesse said into his phone as he sat in the same chair Beca was in earlier. Looking over the ocean. "I know you don't want to talk about it and I know you don't want to be found but can you just text me or something so I know you're okay?" He asked as he left another voicemail on his best friend's phone. He ended the call and shoved the phone in his pocket as he stood and turned to he enter the house. It had been a long day and he was exhausted. He jumped slightly at the figure sitting on the couch in the pitch dark house.
"Jesus" He said sharply, "Beca?"
AN: So I thought I made up the band name 'Hammersmith' but I didn't. Apparently there was a band named that in the 70s. That real band is in no way affiliated with Luke's band. It was just a coincidence. You guys are so awesome. I love all your little comments and notes. Please keep them coming, you have no idea how much they motivate me to continue.
SONG TITLE CRED: Morgan Saint, You.