7

I woke up feeling fully refreshed and energized. I got dressed in jeans, a tank top, and a flannel button up of mine in shades of pink and blue. I sipped my boots on and left Dean still sleeping soundly in bed.

I crept down the stairs and into the kitchen where I smelled coffee. Sam was at the counter pouring himself a mug.

"Good morning." I said softly, so as not to disturb Bobby if he was still sleeping.

Sam turned around and smiled, "Morning. Coffee?"

"Yes please." I replied as I sat at the table.

Sam set the mug down in front of me and got himself another cup and joined me at the table. "Did you and Dean have fun last night?"

I nodded then sipped the coffee.

"So, we're not really sure where we're headed to next. We don't really have a location on the Colt, and we don't even know who has it, if anyone. So, I guess we'll just look for a lead and go from there." Sam said as he tapped on the table with his fingers.

"Alright, just let me know how I can help."

Sam smiled, "Oddly enough, just knowing that you're here is helping."

"Aww, that's kinda sweet, Sammy." I smiled warmly at him as he blushed.

Dean stepped through the doorway, "You making moves on my girl, Sam?" he said jokingly.

"No," Sam said softly and shook his head.

Dean leaned down and kissed me quickly, "Good morning, beautiful."

I smiled, "Morning."

Dean got himself a cup of coffee and motioned for me to me. He sat down and pulled me to his lap as there were only two seats at the table.

"So, what are we talking about?" Dean asked.

"Just that we don't have a location for the Colt so we'll just wait for a lead right now." Sam replied.

Bobby rolled in and got his own coffee. "How long you all planning on staying?"

"Trying to get rid of us already, Bobby?" Dean asked with a chuckle.

"We got a looming apocalypse, guess I just figured you'd be out and working on that." Bobby replied.

"We would, but we got nothing to go on." Dean said.

"Well, there's plenty of books here. There has to be something in one of them. Even if it's just information on Lucifer or the Colt. Know thy enemy and all." I said quietly.

"Feel free to help yourself, darlin'. We've skimmed the books as best we can." Bobby said. "But you never know what you'll find."

I spent the afternoon skimming through books and not finding anything new that they all didn't already know. Or any further information that wasn't just basic knowledge of Lucifer.

I was sitting on the sofa, Dean behind me, as I looked in a book. His phone beeped as he got a message and I sat up so that he could get the phone out of the his pocket.

"Sam." Dean said getting off the sofa and heading into the kitchen.

I shrugged and went back to the book. Bobby had an extensive collection of books on the occult, religion, demonology, and so many more. It was a pure book nerd's paradise.

"So, we're headed to Ohio then?" Sam said following Dean back into the living room.

"Guess so." Dean said. "You still packed?" he looked at me and I nodded.

"Alright, get your bag, your gun, daggers and let's get going." Dean said as I stood up, putting to book on the table. "We'll stop somewhere for dinner and drive through the night in shifts."

I headed up the stairs and got my bag. I had settled for a smaller duffle and figured I could buy clothes as I needed them. With Ted looking after my financial assets I knew he would be revolving investments and making me even more money. I wasn't set to run out of money so long as he kept up his great work for me.

Dean took my bag for me as I went to Aphrodite and grabbed my silver dagger and the extra ammo for my revolver. "You want my two other handguns?" I asked before closing the door.

"Might as well." Sam replied and took them as I pulled them out.

I turned toward Bobby and held out the keys to Aphrodite. "I'm leaving her in your care, Bobby."

"Don't worry, she'll go untouched. Promise you that." Bobby replied as he took the keys. "It was good to meet you, darlin'. You keep those boys in line for me, will ya?"

"That you can count on." I said as I leaned down and hugged him quickly and kissed his cheek.

"Alright, now, enough of that!" Bobby said, a light blush on his cheeks.

We piled into the impala's front seat with Dean driving.

"So, why are we going to Ohio?" I asked once we were on the road headed for a place for dinner.

"Chuck sent a message. No details, just an address in Ohio and something about it being life or death." Dean replied, settling in the seat and draping his arm over the back of the seat behind me.

"Okay, whose Chuck?" I asked.

"Um, Sam, you wanna take this one?"

I turned and looked at Sam.

"So, Chuck created a series of books about us. Kind of lame, but yeah." Sam said with a shrug.

"Um, okay. So, he sends a text and you go running?"

"It's more that he sent a text saying it was life and death. He wouldn't send that if he didn't actually need help." Dean replied.

We got food and hit the road. Dean drove for a few hours while Sam sat in the back.

"This is kinda nice." He said as I leaned against him and sprawled out on the seat. He wrapped an arm around me as he turned his torso more toward me.

"What? Driving?"

"Having you with me while we do this. The road gets kind of lonely. Love Sam and all, but sometimes you just want something more. And now… I have you." He kissed the top of my head.

I wasn't sure why neither of us had told the other that we loved them yet. We clearly did, but there was something else that was in the way. It wasn't something tangible, just a feeling that something wasn't complete. I loved Dean, that wasn't the problem. If he had told me that he loved me, I'd willingly reply with my own words of love. But I had this feeling that there was still something missing in the 'us'.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.

A dream unfolded:

I was back in Montana, on the phone, I was talking to Bobby.

"Bobby? What are you doing with Sam's phone?" I asked, confused.

"It ain't good. You need to drop this petty crap with Dean and get your butt here now!"

I sat bolt upright, fear filling my whole body and tearing at my heart. "Bobby... what happened?"

"It's Dean, and it's bad, darlin'."

"Where are you?"

Bobby gave me the address of a hospital, when I looked it up to book the flight, there wasn't anything going there until morning, in 5 more hours still. I would have to drive the eight hours there and get there one hour before the first flight should land, or wait and take the plane and arrive an hour later... or risk being delayed?...

I opted to drive.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Good. He hasn't asked for you yet, but that's gonna change before long, darlin'."

"You don't know that." I asked as I tossed my luggage, emergency duffel bag and my messenger bag in my car. And then paused, bracing myself against the side of the car for some reason.

"He ain't gonna wanna die with this regret, and trust me, darlin', he regrets what he did."

I dropped to my knees and held the phone to my chest. I felt something crack inside and then strangely, I didn't cry. I swallowed hard and stood up. I put the phone back to my ear.

Now Sam had the phone, "Dee?"

"Sam?"

"They have him stabilized for now, but they don't sound optimistic."

I slid into the driver's seat and started the engine. I imputed the address into the nav system and waited for it to plot the course. "I'm on my way."

"Good, I'll call you if he wakes up... or something changes."

I hung up and hit the road. For a moment I thought about the fact that I had enough money to afford a helicopter, but I had no idea who to even begin talking to about getting one; and more importantly how long it would take to get one.

It felt like hours had passed when my phone rang. I had left my earpiece in after hanging up last time, just in case.

"Hello?" My stomach felt suspended as awaited the news; whether good or bad.

"Dee, he's awake." It was Sam and my stomach flipped and I almost cried. I pulled over to the side of the road.

I heard Dean yelling in the background, "Just give me the Goddamn phone, Sam!" A rustle, "Now, get out!"

"Alright," I heard Sam and Bobby say.

There were a few moments of silence and I tore out the earpiece and put the phone to my ear.

"Dee?" The sound of his voice was the sweetest sound I could imagine.

"I'm here." I said, my voice almost cracking.

"God, it's good to hear your voice!"

"It's good to hear your's too."

"You're not just sayin' that because Bobby and my brother told you I was dying?"

I snickered to cover a small sob, "No, I'm not."

"Good, because I need to tell you something. I never should've told you to leave. I was being an idiot, thinking I could save you from all of this... save me from losing you. I wanted to protect you. The thought of having to watch you die... or having to chose to save you or Sam... I couldn't bare either thought. I thought it would be better to send you away, but I was. God was I wrong." Tears were streaming down my face and I covered my mouth to stifle any escaped sobs.

"We could've stopped this sooner if I had been willing to accept that you were a hunter and you belonged with us... with me. And what's worse, is that this whole time I've been stupid enough to convince myself that my strong feelings weren't love, but I've gotta tell ya, Dee... I've loved you since that first night. I had never put much thought into what my perfect woman would be, but everything about you was perfect; and yet you still manage to surprise me. You're like the never ceasing mystery woman: I can think I know everything there is to know about you and that there are no more surprises, but then you somehow manage to surprise me. How can I not love you?"

I swallowed, "I love you, too, Dean."

"Good, because I'm about to ask you to do something, that you have to promise me you're going to do."

I froze, "What is it?"

"You have to get here as fast as you can and kill me. Wait let me finish, please. If you don't you will die." His voice crack, but he cleared it. "And then it will be Sam's turn, and when he can't he will die. Then if Bobby can't... I don't know what will happen after that..."

My heart pounded in my chest and the tears streamed. "You can't ask me to do that."

"I am asking you first because I believe you to be the strongest one out of you all. I believe you understand the consequences and will do what is right."

"Can't we find another way?"

"Don't you think I've done my research, or that I've tried. My last resort was trying to kill myself, but Death won't have me unless I die at the hands of someone I love."

"And what happens when there is no one left that you love?"

"I don't know. Maybe then I just have to live with the fact that my life was forfeit for everyone I ever cared about. And that's probably best case scenario. That's why you have to do this for me. Please, Dee." His voice was pleading and I knew he wouldn't be asking me to if it wasn't all true.

"How?"

"I'll leave that up to you, babe. Consider it your final surprise for me. I've gotta go, doctors orders. Get here fast, Dee."

"I'm coming."

The dream shifts as I'm walking down the hospital corridor. I hold a syringe and a bottle, I know I hold what I need to euthanize Dean, so he'll slip into a deep sleep and drift slower until his heart stops. I also somehow knew what I held would be untraceable in his system and would take a full hour to stop his heart, giving me enough time to be out of the room when his heart stopped, so I wouldn't even be a target of suspicion.

I slipped them into my messenger bag and walked around the corner and found Bobby and Sam. We had brief conversation and then the showed me where Dean's room was. I stepped in and locked eyes with him and suddenly felt unsure if I could do it.

"Can we have the room, please?" Dean asked.

Sam and Bobby nodded.

"Keep watch?" Dean asked his brother and Sam nodded.

Once the door was closed Dean turned to me, "We have twenty minutes until the nurse comes back. Sam will try to stall as long as he can. He'll knock on the door when someone comes by. Now get over here."

I slowly went to the bed and he wrapped me in his arms. He cupped my cheek and kissed me tenderly.

"God I missed you!" He said.

Tears were streaming down my face as he asked me what I had decided. I told him and he smiled lovingly at me.

"That's good." He said wiping my tears. "Come on, love, you gotta do it. That way you can sneak out."

I shook my head, "Don't ask me to do this."

"I don't have a choice, Dee. I tried to spare you, but now you have to do this, for me... for you... for Sam. Please." His finger grazed my cheek. "You have to look after him for me. You two can look after eachother, I know he'll protect you. You'll take care of eachother."

I swallowed hard as my finger fumbled with the syringe and bottle. I slowly injected the liquid into the needle in his arm. He smiled sweetly as he laid his head back. I cried as he kissed me tenderly.

"Now go on, let me fall asleep. And let you live. I love you, Dee."

"I love you, too, Dean."

"Take care of eachother." He laid his head back and his eyes closed.

I slipped out the door, Sam asked if I was alright. I shook my head, "He... he fell asleep. I need some air."

Sam nodded and let me walk away. I went outside, finding a far enough sewer drain and dropped the syringe and bottle. I walked halfway back and then crumpled on the ground.

the dream shifted and I was watching the nurses and doctors trying to bring him back. HIs words of love echoing through the fading scenes.

I woke up from the nightmare, trying to catch my breath. Dean looked at me in concern. "You alright, hun?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and nodded, "Yeah, I'm okay, I think. Just a weird dream that's all."

He wrapped his arm around me and moved me back to his side.

The dream felt strange, not like a normal dream. Aside from the fact that it felt so real, there was something else about the way it felt. Almost like it was a warning, and that terrified me even more.

Sam sat up in the back, it was still dark. "You want me to take over now?"

I sat up, "I can drive. After that dream I'm kind of pumping adrenaline right now."

Dean smirked, "Guess Dee's driving, Sam. You can get some more sleep."

Sam yawned and nodded, "Fine by me. Wake me when you want to switch."

I nodded and he laid back down in the back seat.

Dean pulled over and I slid over his lap. He stopped me when I was on his lap and kissed me deeply before letting me get behind the wheel. I got situated and shifted the car into drive. Dean laid his head on my leg and smiled up at me.

I ran my hand along his cheek, reminding myself that he was real; the nightmare was not. Dean was very much alive. But I couldn't shake the feeling that the dream had left me with.

I must've showed something on my face because Dean tugged my hair gently at the ends dangling down over my shoulder. "What's on your mind, babe?"

I shook my head, "Nothing." I said with a half smile.

"Tell me." He said softly.

"Tell you what?" I asked, glancing down at him quickly.

"About your dream." He took my hand that was resting on his chest and brought my fingers to his lips. "It's clearly bothering you. So, tell me about it." He kissed my wrist and trailed kisses over my arm. "Let me ease your mind, love."

"Trust me, Dean. You don't want to hear this dream." I said shaking my head slightly, trying to get the horror of the dream away.

Dean sat up, his brow furrowed and looked at me with true concern. "Alright, now I'm really intrigued."

"Why? It's just a dream." I said, putting both hands on the wheel.

Dean brushed his fingers against my shoulder, "Something I've learned in this business, is that dreams aren't always just dreams. And from the obvious fear in your eyes, Dee, this didn't feel like a regular dream or nightmare did it?"

I gripped the steering wheel and fidgeted. "No." I finally said softly, trying to contain the tears stinging my eyes.

Dean moved closer, "Pull over." he said softly.

I did and shifted it into park. He turned the car off.

Sam sat up rubbing his eyes, "Are we there already?"

"No." Dean said and motioned with his head for us to go outside and I nodded.

I opened the door.

"Then what's wrong?" He asked looking around and see that we weren't at a gas station.

"Dee had a dream." Dean replied.

"Yeah so?"

"In our line of work how many times have dreams become more?" Dean asked a bit harshly.

"Uh, yeah, but if we freaked out over every dream we had…"

"Look it's clearly freaking her out. Just let her tell me what it's about. Maybe it'll make her feel better. If not, you're driving."

"Fine, go. Comfort your girlfriend." Sam said.

I was already standing outside the door. Facing away from the car and crossing my arms. I had left my jacket in the car.

"I will, thanks for your permission." Dean said. I heard the car door close and then a moment later my jacket was being draped over my shoulders.

"Thank you." I said turning toward him.

He ushered me around to the back and gently lifted me up onto the trunk and stood between my legs his hands on my hips. "Alright, tell me." He kissed me quickly. "All of it. And why it doesn't feel like a normal dream."

He waited patiently as I took a deep breath and started to tell him about my dream. I told him all of it, every detail. He wiped my tears as they fell until I got closer to the end of my dream and then he held me.

When I was done telling him my dream he looked at me and wiped the remaining tears and kissed my forehead. "I'm here." he whispered just barely audibly. "Now I'm gonna ask you how it feels different. Be specific here, please?"

I wrapped my hands around his neck, "It felt more real than anything before, but more than that…" my hands slid down his chest and gripped his jacket collar in each fist lightly. "It felt like a warning."

He hung his head, "That's exactly what I didn't want to hear. When something usually feels like a warning, than most likely it is a warning of some kind."

"Wait," I had remembered a detail. "In the dream you had said that it was happening because you had told me to leave and you and Sam. And that if you had realized sooner, it wouldn't be happening."

Dean lifted my chin and smirked a little, "If you're worried that I'm gonna tell you to leave, well, I can tell you that's not going to happen."

"I'm not worried about that, but that's what you said in the dream. I remember it, because I felt confused. I didn't know why you had told me to leave, or what had happened for you to tell me that."

"Then I guess you're stuck with me." He cupped my cheek and kissed me tenderly. He pulled away and smiled reassuringly at me, "Apparently, for all of our sakes."

"Are you making fun of me?" I asked playfully.

"Maybe a little." he joked. "No, I'm not." his smile softened as he brushed my cheek. "I had no intentions of letting you go… ever. And I do, you know… Love you that is." He leaned down and kissed me lovingly.

My heart was hammering in my chest and I almost couldn't breath. I wrapped my hands up his chest and around his neck slowly. His hands wrapped around me and pressed me gently into him. We let the moment last a little longer and then pulled away.

"You alright to drive?" He asked me softly.

I took a breath and nodded, "Yeah, I'm good."

"You sure? Because Sam can drive and you and I could get some sleep in the back together."

I shook my head, "I'd rather drive. Not really feeling like sleeping after that."

He took my hand in his and brought it to his lips and nodded as he kissed the back of my hand. "Alright, let's get going then. Do me a favor though?" He paused until I nodded. "Let me know if you have other dreams like that… ones that feel different. Alright?"

I nodded as I slid off the trunk. He kissed once more and we each walked around opposite sides of the car and got in. I started the engine and shifted it back into drive and got back on the road.

"We all good now? Dream sharing over?" Sam asked, not too unkindly.

Dean flashed him a quick glare, "In our business when something feels like a warning, what does that usually make it?"

"A warning… and now I'm intrigued." Sam replied sitting up straighter. "you ever get stuff like this often, Dee?"

I shrugged, "Can you include deja vu where you can actually predict what someone says before they say it, because you remember it that well?" I have no clue why that slipped out, but it was the truth. And when it did happen I always felt lightheaded, but I thought everyone else that experienced deja vu had it too.

Dean and Sam both looked at me, "Uh, yeah!" they said together. "And you didn't tell me that part before, why?"

I shrugged, "I didn't think it was relevant."

"Deja vu that precise isn't common." Sam said. "When it happens, how do you feel?"

"I get lightheaded, and the room kinda spins." I replied.

Dean and Sam exchanged glances. "You gonna tell me that dream now?" Sam asked.

"Dee? Do you mind if I tell him?" Dean asked softly.

I shook my head, "No, just so long as I don't have to tell it again."

I drove and tried to pay attention to the road, not the act that the guys were thinking my dreams were something more than just dreams. I even rolled the window down slightly for the cool breeze to distract me and cool me down.

When Dean was done, adding the part that I thought the dream was a warning against, the car fell silent.

"Can someone please say something? 'Cause the awkward silence is deafening!" I finally said with a huff.

Dean scooted over toward me and put his hand on my leg, "Sorry, babe."

"Yeah, so… yeah, I'm not really sure what to say." Sam said softly.

"Anything would be better than nothing." I whispered.

Dean moved closer wrapping an arm around my shoulders and putting his other hand on my leg.

I glanced at him and looked at his concerned eyes brimmed with a hint of sadness… for me.

I sighed and put my hand on his cheek and looked at him briefly, "Will you please stop looking at me like that?" I asked letting my hand slid from his cheek and onto his leg.

"Like what?" He raised his shoulders.

"Like you just ran over my puppy!"

Dean chuckled, "You don't have a puppy."

"No, I don't, but if I did and you ran it over, that's the look you would give me." I replied.

Dean and Sam both chuckled, breaking the awkwardness completely.

"Now both of you get some sleep." I said.

"I don't think I can." Sam said.

"Yeah, why don't we stop somewhere and get some coffee maybe a bite to eat?" Dean offered.

"Sounds good." Sam replied.

I nodded. "'There's a small town in 5 miles. We'll stop there."

We filled up the car and then went to a 24hr diner and got coffee and food. I only ordered fresh fruit. Dean kept one hand on my leg, as a simple reminder that he was there. We didn't talk much, which was fine with me. I spent most of the time spacing out the window and sipping on my coffee.

"Hey, you listening?" Dean asked, shaking my leg gently, bringing me back to the table.

"Huh? Oh, sorry, no." I replied setting my coffee down and looking at him.

"We were just trying to figure out why you would have a dream like that just after joining us. Why not weeks, months even down the road." Dean recapped for me.

"Yeah, like once you two start finally bothering each other 'cause you're always together." Sam added.

"That's not gonna happen." Dean said matter-of-factly.

"Besides, in the dream I get the feeling that he had told me to leave for my safety, maybe not nicely… but in the dream he had said something about accepting something, and because it had taken him so long to accept that, that's what had set… whatever it was in motion." I said with a shrug.

"Accept what?" Sam asked, leaning forward.

"I don't know. Us, maybe?" I offered.

Sam smirked, "I think he's already accepted that."

I turned and smiled at him, "Yeah, he has." Remembering his words of love as they filled me with elation again.

Dean returned my smile and leaned over to kiss me briefly. Then he leaned back and wrapped an arm around me as I leaned against him.

"Alright, well, if there's ever anything I need to accept for whatever reason that involves us, just smack me upside the head and remind me of this day and we'll all joyously get over it." Dean said with a grin.

Sam chuckled, "Yeah, let me know how that works out."

The waitress came over and offered to refill our coffees, but we ordered three to go instead and got the check. I paid, even though the guys tried to themselves.

Sam drove and Dean and I sat in the back. We stayed awake, he just held me against him, his back leaning against the side of the car. I was sprawled out on the seat with my back against him and his almost under me. His arm was wrapped over my shoulder and across my chest. Our fingers were laced.

We both sipped our coffee from our free hands. "So, how long till we get there?" Dean asked.

"A few more still." Sam replied.

"So, why didn't you guys text him back to find out what the emergency was before we left?"

"We did, there was no reply." Dean answered.

"Oh, well, I guess we'll find out when we get there." I said with a slight shrug.

We fell silent for a while. Dean finished his coffee and set his empty cup down and got more comfortable. He fell asleep quickly. I laid there for a while and just stared out the window at the passing scenery.

Eventually, with my coffee empty my eyes ended up closing and I drifted off to sleep.