Morningdew
"I am pregnant Nightfang."
As the words came out of my mouth this whole night seemed to crash down like a wave. Scorchflame had found out about my relationship with Nightfang and now he was dead, Nightfang found out about my relationship with Scorchflame and I was in a small space with a cat who probably now hated me, and I was expecting kits, I could imagine how this could possibly get worse.
I risked looking up into those eyes that I loved so dearly. hoping to find anything other than hatred. The expression he wore was one of astonishment, he didn't speak, in fact he was frozen in place. His paw stuck out in the air and dripped water and blood onto the sandy floor, water dripped from his whiskers and for a second I almost thought he was crying.
"Kits, your having my kits?" he stuttered and I nodded slowly, "How do you know?"
"Well, my stomach has been feeling weird that last few days and my vision has been hazy and Leafpool said-"
"I meant, how did you know they are mine?" he said his gaze narrowing and I grew so cold that I thought my blood would turn to ice. Those eyes were only meant for enemies, the gaze he shot me now was full of hurt and anger. I wanted to be offended, but then again I deserved his comments, his hatred and his distrust.
"I know, me and Scorchflame have never done….anything that would have resulted in kits." I said nervously and for a second I thought I saw relief in his hard gaze, but he turned his head to hide his face, "What are you going to do?" I didn't answer right away, to be honest I had to clue of what I was going to do now. I was hoping that Nightfang would have had an idea, we both knew there would be a possibility of kits but we didn't worry about it since I had never gotten pregnant before. We had had never actually discussed what would happen if I did,
"I don't know." I whispered and he turned to look at me, his form outlined by a flash of lighting which only made his orange eyes burn like fire, "I am assuming that your clan will just think that they belong to Scorchflame so you shouldn't have anything to worry about." His tone was still harsh and all I could do was bury my face in my paws.
I had messed up and messed up big time, while I wanted to wallow in self pity I knew that I wasn't the only one affected by my lies. Thunderclan had lost its most promising warrior, Rosepetal's only son. She would be so heart broken, my clan has lost what could have been a great leader and gained a she cat who will bear mixed clan kits. Nightfang thought I didn't really love him and that our relationship was lie and now he would have to be separated from his mate and his kits.
At this moment I wished I had been the one who fell from the ridge and not Scorchflame.
"Im sorry Nightfang." Was the only thing I could think to say.
"Me too." He answered, his voice low and full of grief.
The rain finally slowed to a easy drizzle just before dawn. Nightfang crawled out of our cave, and sniffed around. "We are safe." He said low and slid down the slippery edge and landed sure footed and gracefully on the grass below. I was a little nervous considering my condition and went tail first instead. Together we moved slowly to Scorchflames body that was now cold and wet, his head still twisted in the odd angle. My stomach cramped up again and not because of my kits, I stood motionless at the sight of my dead clanmate and for a moment I thought I would burst out crying.
"You should go get help, your warriors need to see the body. I will go get some of my clan as well, we don't want anyone to think he was murdered so close to wind clan territory." Nightfang said, his voice void of emotion.
"What are we going to say happened?" I asked not taking my eyes from Scorchflame. "We tell the truth. It was storming and he fell from the ledge. Him and you went out for a late night stroll and got caught in the storm. I was nearby since I train here often and found you deep in grief for your lost mate." His last remark made me flinch, the whole idea made me uneasy but it was that or tell my clan the truth and probably get banished.
I couldn't do that to my kits, so I steeled myself and nodded at his plan. He turned and ran in the direction of Windclans camp and I looked at my forest, suddenly feeling like I didn't belong there.
Nightfang
"I'm sorry about your warrior Bramblestar." Onestar said as Thunderclan and Windclan gazed at the lifeless Scorchflame. On the outside I was the picture of sympathy but on the inside I felt like crow food. My stomach hurt, my head pounded, and for once the thought of Morningdew only made it worse. I had to admit she was acting better than I was, she had her face buried into Scorchflame's fur and Leafpool was right next to her, laying a comforting tail over her weeping shoulders.
"Thank you for alerting us so quickly." Bramblestar said with a respectful nod his eyes full of sorrow. Lionblaze and Brakenfur hauled the large tom onto their shoulders moved slowly back to the forest. The rest of Thunderclan followed behind them and even though Morningdew tried to make eye contact with me I turned away, unable to look at her.
Our warriors all whispered amongst themselves about Scorchflames death and their curiosity and questioning just made me feel sicker. "I never would have thought that a Thunderclan cat would be caught in the rain. Every cat knows they hate the water!" Breezepelt mocked, getting a few chuckles from others. Hearing his boasting only made my head pound and I rushed over the Kestrelflights den, "Nightfang, is everything alright?"
His voice cracked as he began to show his age. "I don't feel well, I was hoping you had some herbs to get rid of a head and stomach ache?" Kestrelflight looked thoughtful for a moment and turned to Featherpool, "Bring me some juniper and chamomile, that should help ease the tension." He said showing me inside his den to a small nest used for patients. After a moment he came back with two blue berries and some soft white leaves. "Her you go lad, eat these and take a nap. I bet you will be back to your duties by this afternoon. You are welcome to rest here if you like, I bet seeing that Thunderclan warrior this morning gave you quite a fright." He said nudging the herbs with his nose, I didn't reply as I licked them up and swallowed without chewing.
Kestrelflight left me to sleep and went to notify Onestar of my condition. Now in silence I let the night wash over me. I saw Scorchflames angry claws raking at my pelt, Morningdews cries as she mourned her mate, the look in her eyes when she said she was expecting my kits.
My kits, she was expecting my kits, I was going to be a father! Despite the circumstances I couldn't help but feel excited, I wonder what they would look like? I wonder what their names would be? What kind of warriors would they be? I could picture them now they would have Morningdews eyes I hoped, and my speed. I began to purr as the dreams of my kits drifted me into an uneasy sleep.
When I woke up I saw that the sun was close to setting, startled I shot out of the nest and almost ran into Kestrelflight and Harespring. "Oh, there you are Nightfang. I was beginning to think you would sleep through the day." Kestrelflight joked and I began to feel embarrassed, I turned to Harespring, "Im sorry sir, I didn't mean to sleep through duties. I can do some night hunting and guard duty to make up for it."
"Its alright Nightfang, Kestrelflight told us you were a bit shocked about Scorchflames death. We all understand, I am glad to see you well again. Onestar wants to see you in his den when you have a moment." Harespring said before going into a rasping cough, "All this darn pollen, I was hoping the storm last night would have washed it away." He gasped and Kestrelflight began franticly mixing his remedy together before he coughed up a lung.
I excused myself and made my way to Onestars den. The brown tom was speaking with Crowfeather when I entered. "Oh Nightfang, please come in." he gestured as Crowfeather excused himself with a low bow. My grandfather brushed against me in a encouraging gesture and the nerves I felt before began to subside.
"I am glad you're here Nightfang, please have a seat." He gestured to where Crowfeather had stood a moment before, "As you know Harespring is having some trouble keeping up with his deputy duties and we had discussed a temporary replacement." He began, as I realized what he was about to ask I interrupted him, "Onestar, I know what your about to ask and my answer is no, I cant except the position." His eyes widened in shock,
"What do you mean? You would make a great deputy, I am sure your aware of your standing here." He said confused, "I know sir and I am honored really I am but, I just cant." Is said, my shoulders drooping.
"Why cant you?" he asked curious. "Because I don't think I have earned it. Surely Crowfeather or Weaselfur would be better qualified-"
"They don't have the qualities of a good leader. Weaselfur has really stepped down since Daisyfern died and Crowfeather is hot headed and had a mate from a different clan, he would never be excepted." Onestar added giving me a stern look.
"You are the leader Windclan needs Nightfang."
I looked at him, not sure what to do, "I would like some time to think about it."
Onestar nodded. "Alright, but I need an answer by sundown tomorrow. We have the gathering to go to and Harespring isn't well enough to represent us properly." I quietly crept from his den and made a beeline to the camp entrance, completely ignoring my mother and Leaftail who called for me to share a rabbit with them.
Once I had the grass underneath my paws I took off. I started off a bit slow but quickly picking up my speed as I ran and ran. I circled the Riverclan and Shadowclan borders, avoiding Thunderclan at all costs and even though my lungs burned and my heart thumped hard in my chest I didn't stop. I couldn't stop, not until this pain and confusion and guilt went away, not until I was myself again.
By the time the moon was high in the sky my pads ached and my lungs burned. I sat gasping for air and listening to my heart beat pulse through my ears and for the first time in my life I began to cry. The salty tears streamed down my face as my fears overwhelmed me. "Why Starclan, Why did you curse me?" I wailed thinking about my family and how Crowfeather took a mate from another clan, my mother had been tempted to do the same, my father a bitter and vengeful cat who almost killed his kin.
I let Morningdew fill my thoughts, her beautiful fur, her brilliant blue eyes and how smart and funny she was. I remembered our nights in the cave, we shared prey, we shared tongues and we shared more than just out hearts. I was an idiot for not being more careful, now we were both at risk and whats worse now our kits will be hurt because of our choices. Surely Starclan is doing this to punish our foolishness, Morningdew should have stayed with Scorchflame he would have been the proper mate and father to the kits, even if they are mine. I should have broken this off years ago, I shouldn't have even gave into my desires. I was weak and a weak cat could never be leader.
I cried for a while not even caring that I was a seasoned warrior, luckily the only sounds I herd were crickets and frogs as they sung their beautiful night songs. Finally after every drop was spilled I took a deep breath and tried to compose myself. You are at fault here Nightfang, you cant re do the past so we better just fix the present. When or if I saw Morningdew again I would tell her we couldn't be together anymore, her kits will be better off not knowing their real father. Even though it stung, I knew Thunderclan believing they were Scorchflames kits would be easier for every cat.