A/N: Well, I'm back with another chapter. Thank you sooooooo much for the amazing reviews. You guys are super supportive and I'm so grateful for it. It makes writing so damn rewarding. :)

This chapter was important to me, because it honors a part of Sam that I feel like the writers have chosen to ignore in recent years. It also brings Jace and Sam even closer. I hope you all enjoy this chapter and appreciate where the story is going. And things are about to change and get quite angsty pretty soon, to set up the next arc. I'm sure it will annoy the hell out of all of you but what's a romance without the bumps in the road? Lol. Sorry!

Happy reading! And as always, please keep the reviews coming! And please, if there's something that you think I should be including with Jasam, nods to history or anything like that, please feel free to mention it. You'd be surprised by how often something one of you says in your reviews ends up impacting or sometimes even changing the story. :p

P.S. This is Danny's costume, briefly mentioned in the story! ( pin/261208847112717878/)

Jen

buttercup0303

Chapter 22

Jace glanced around uncomfortably as they finished the tour. He wasn't exactly awed by the quiet wealth tastefully displayed throughout the home, so he figured he must have some familiarity with it. But he guessed he leaned towards a more Spartan existence. He didn't need much beyond the basics. And he definitely wasn't sure about the small feminine touches everywhere.

Sam glanced up at him and had to bite back a smile. His face was pure male discomfort.

"I'm sure this isn't your style, but you can change anything you want to." She told him with a knowing smile.

"This is fine." He replied quickly, not wanting to seem ungrateful.

Sam found herself staring at him affectionately and looked away quickly. God, what if he'd seen that? She needed to get a handle on this right now. Determined to avoid making herself look anymore desperate and lovesick, Sam started to back towards the door.

"Ok, well I'll leave you to get settled in." She said quickly, not waiting for a reply before hurtling out the door. Jace watched her run out of the apartment like a bat out of hell and wondered what had caused her sudden exit.

Sam sighed and leaned against the door. That had been a little too much too soon for her. She'd meant it when she told Jace she wouldn't run away from what they shared but that didn't mean she couldn't take a tiny little tactical break every now and then. She just needed a little space while the magnitude of her feelings for him sank in.

She'd always fallen in love hard and fast in the past, but it had never been real until Jason. And now it felt like she was falling hard and fast for Jace, but this time, it felt real. It scared her because there was still so much unknown about Jace's past. She didn't want to give her heart to someone who wasn't in the position to take it but it was becoming impossible to resist.

Sam sighed and sank onto the couch. She wished Danny was home instead of taking a trip for the weekend with his Grandma Monica. She sure could use some baby cuddles right about now. When Monica had asked to take him to Disneyland for the weekend, Danny had become so excited at the thought of seeing Lilo and Stitch in person, Sam just couldn't say no.

She needed a distraction. Desperately. A sudden knock on her door had her jumping to her feet, eager to see whom it was. Relief coursed through her as Patrick's handsome face smiled down at her. She grinned and grabbed his hand, yanking him inside.

"Thank God you're here!" She exclaimed dramatically, making Patrick chuckle. He held up a six-pack of beer with his free hand and waved it gently.

"Well, since you mentioned this morning that Monica had Danny for the weekend, I figured I'd drop by and we could catch up. We haven't hung out in a while."

Sam cringed guiltily. It was her fault they hadn't been spending a lot of time together. She'd been so wrapped up in Jace, she hadn't spent much time with anyone else.

She laid a hand on his arm.

"I'm sorry. I'm a terrible friend."

Patrick squeezed her hand and shook his head.

"No, you're not. But you're falling in love. Things were bound to change." He smiled sadly. Sam stared at him.

"Wh-what? I'm not-why would you-we're just-. God, is it that obvious?"

Patrick chucked her chin.

"Only to me because I know my Sammy. I see that dopey look on your face whenever you're around Jace. It's on his face too, by the way." He teased her, handing her a beer.

Sam couldn't help the burst of pleasure his observation made her feel. But it also made her nervous. Could everyone see how much she liked Jace? The thought made her a bit uncomfortable. She twisted the top off her bottle and chugged.

Patrick watched her tip her head back as she drained the bottle, swallowing loudly. When she set the bottle down with a clang, he handed her a second one wordlessly.

Sam took another enormous gulp before setting it aside and facing Patrick.

"I'm falling in love with him." She blurted out.

Patrick smiled and tilted his head.

"I'm pretty sure I just said that."

Sam rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, but this is the first time I'm saying it out loud. I'm falling in love with Jace. God! Patrick, am I completely insane?"

"Doesn't love make us all a little crazy?" He answered.

"Shut up. I'm serious! Am I a total idiot for falling for a man with no past?"

Patrick leaned forward.

"Sammy, love doesn't care about those things. You know who he is right now. How he treats you, how he makes you feel; that's all that matters. You guys can deal with the rest as it comes up."

Sam stared at him. She lifted the second bottle of beer to her lips and drained it. Setting the second bottle down with a clack, she reached over for a third.

"Whoa, Sammy. Slow down."

She just shook her head as she guzzled the next bottle. She moved it to the side for a second, gasping for air.

"Uh uh. I need to get drunk, Patrick. Completely shit-faced. I can't deal with this right now. Please?"

Patrick sighed. He lifted his own bottle and clanked it against hers.

"Bottoms up, Sammy." He said resignedly. Sam smiled gratefully before bringing the bottle back to her lips and drinking deeply.

...

Jace sat on the stairs of his penthouse, looking around. He'd been so ready to leave that hospital, but being out now, he realized just how alone he was. He hadn't noticed while Sam was there with him, but the second she'd ran out of there, he'd felt it. Loneliness.

He knew Sam needed space, but he just wanted to talk to her for a little bit, no pressure. He got up and opened his door only to freeze. Dr. Drake was standing in the doorway of Sam's penthouse. He couldn't see Sam, all he heard was her voice. She seemed happy.

"Thank God you're here!"

And then she was yanking him into the apartment. Jace stared at the closed door, trying to settle the immediate desire to go in there and toss pretty boy Drake on his ass. But he knew that wouldn't get him anywhere. Besides, he knew that Sam and Drake were just friends. Still.

Frustrated with him self, Jace turned around. If there was one thing he could do, it was look for employment. He wouldn't live off of Sam forever, so he needed to find a way to pay his own way. Sam had set up an office with a laptop, so Jace made his way into the small office. Sitting in the leather chair, he logged in and pulled up a job board.

What the hell was he qualified to do? He had no ID, no social, nothing. He sure as hell didn't have any skills unless you counted fighting and shooting a gun, which apparently he could do with ease. Shaking his head, Jace shoved away from the laptop. How the hell was he supposed to find work? He wondered vaguely if anyone was in the market for a hired gun. He immediately scoffed.

"Yeah, cuz that wouldn't scare Sam off." He muttered, shaking his head. Then again, her husband had been an alleged mob enforcer. A sudden stabbing pain in his head had him gripping his head as a memory flirted with the edges of his mind.

"I'm not afraid of you or your job and I'll never judge you. And I don't think anything you could do could ever change how I feel about you."

"Then there is something that you can do for me."

"Great! I finally get to do something for you so if you just name it and tell me what it is and I'll make sure it, it happens."

"Will-will you marry me?"

Jace squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to bring the image into focus, but there was nothing but the blurred image of a woman standing in front of him. But he'd loved her. God, he'd loved her.

Jace lifted his head suddenly, echoes of that love still coursing through him. He lifted a hand and rubbed his chest, feeling the mystery woman's absence keenly in that moment. In the next, his eyes widened and shot to the door, Sam's face flashing in front of his eyes.

He knew without a doubt that he had been in love with the woman in his memory. And that's how he knew that he was in love with Sam. Because that same feeling coursed through him whenever he thought of or was around Sam. What the hell was he going to do? Was that woman from the past still in his life, in his heart? Or was that a memory of an ex? He'd asked her to marry him in that memory. Had she said yes? Were they married right now?

Jace lifted his left hand and stared down at his bare ring finger. There was a slight tan line there, which had to mean that at some point he'd worn a ring. He had been married. But the nurses had said he'd been found with no personal effects. If he were still married he would have had his ring on, wouldn't he?

"Damn it!" Jace shouted suddenly. All he'd wanted since he'd woken up from that coma was to remember who he was. Now that he had gotten a clue, he felt bitter and angry. He'd never thought that his past could threaten the future he had begun to count on. A future with the woman he loved now. Sam.

He couldn't tell her about this memory. She would pull away; he knew it. But Jace immediately shook his head. Of course he would tell her. He would never lie to Sam.

He stood up and looked around the penthouse aimlessly, his thoughts occupied. It was odd, but now that he wasn't focusing on how big it was, it actually felt a bit familiar to him. Sudden ghostly images of two young children running through the living room appeared. Jace spun around, eyes wheeling as he searched for the specters in his mind. But the room was empty except for him.

Were these memories too? Did he and his ex-wife have children? If he did, he could never abandon them. He'd have to find a way back to them. If the depth of love he felt for Danny was any indication, the love he must have for his children had to be overwhelming. Jace pulled out his phone and opened up his favorite picture of Danny.

About a week or so ago, Halloween had passed. Sam had brought Danny by to visit Jace on the way to see his Grandmother. Danny wore a fluffy blue monster costume, his head lost in the giant hood, his face peeking out from the monster's jaws. Sam had called him Stitch or something. He'd been so adorably ferocious that Jason had quickly snapped a photo with his new phone. Could Jace walk away from Sam and Danny if he had a wife and kids out there somewhere?

He didn't have an answer. Feeling the sudden need for air, Jason stood with a slight wince, and grabbed his cane. Better safe than sorry, he thought as he looked at the cane with a grimace. He moved quickly out the door and down the elevator. As the cold air hit his face, he wished briefly that he were on the back of a motorcycle. Flashes of riding in the night flitted through his mind, unclear but real. More memories. Suddenly desperate to get away from the threat of the past, Jace began walking aimlessly.

...

Sam sat on the couch alone. Patrick had left in a rush after being paged by the hospital. Lucky for him, he hadn't even finished a single beer. Sam had drunk the entire six-pack, including half of his bottle. Nevertheless, Sam had made him a strong cup of coffee to take with him. She stood up, and stumbling slightly, Sam looked around her apartment blankly.

"I need another distraction." She muttered, making her way to her desk. She rifled through it, looking for a deck of cards when he eyes landed on the small desk calendar.

Sam gasped, her hands flying to her mouth. Without hesitation, Sam stood quickly, her head spinning, and moved towards the door. She didn't bother grabbing a jacket, her mind on one thing.

...

There was a brisk snap in the cold night air. Sam had her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she moved through the damp grass. It was quiet there, and Sam was grateful that she would be alone. Reaching her destination, Sam knelt slowly on the soft grass, her fingers tracing the grooved lines of the headstone.

Baby Girl McCall

November 8, 2004

Her little girl would have been 10 years old today, she thought sadly, silent tears trickling down her face. She carefully arranged the bouquet of roses she'd picked up from the store on the way. She let herself fall back on to her bottom, still a bit tipsy. She ignored the icy ground, not noticing as the cold began to seep into her bones.

With everything that had been happening lately, she hadn't kept track of the date. She couldn't believe she'd almost missed it.

"Hey baby girl. I just wanted to stop by and say happy birthday. I miss you so much. I think of you all the time, Lila, and wonder what would have happened if things had been different. Would you have Sonny's thick inky curls, or my tiny stature, or maybe Jason's stoic but true personality? I don't know but I think you would have been perfect." Sam said softly, swiping at the tears on her cheeks. Shivering slightly, Sam wrapped her arms around herself.

Jace stood behind Sam, listening to her as his own heart broke, staring at the tiny headstone. He didn't know how he had ended up here. But something had seemed to be pulling him in this direction. He hadn't expected to find Sam here. He hadn't known she'd lost a child, but listening to the quiet devastation in her voice, he knew it still caused her tremendous pain. What he didn't understand was why staring at that little headstone sent waves of heartache through him. He took an unconscious step forward and a branch snapped beneath his foot.

Sam's head whipped around and she stared up in stunned disbelief at Jace.

"What are you doing here?" She asked sharply. Her grief surrounded her like a shroud at the moment, and it wasn't a moment she was ready to share.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I didn't know- I didn't mean to...I needed air so I went for a walk and I just ended up here. I don't know why." His eyes trailed back down to her daughter's headstone and Sam was shocked to see answering grief in his own eyes.

She stood up clumsily, swaying slightly.

"Jace, did you remember something?"

Jace automatically put out a hand to steady her as he lifted his eyes to hers briefly.

"No. I mean, yes, I did. But it doesn't have anything to do with this. Or maybe it does. I think...I think I lost a child." He said numbly. Sam's eyes widened with shock.

"Oh Jace, I'm so sorry." She said automatically. She turned away as she continued softly, "The pain of losing a child is indescribable. I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

Jace's arms wrapped around Sam from behind, his chin resting on her head.

"Sam, I'm sorry for your loss. Tell me about her."

Sam leaned back against him, smiling softly, unaware that tears were slipping down her cheeks again.

"I didn't think I wanted to be a mom at first. Things were so complicated between me and her father. But as she grew inside of me, so did my love for her. Until one day all I wanted in life was to be a good mother to her and hold her in my arms. I was so excited, so ready. She was perfect, Jace. She was healthy and strong inside of me." Sam's voice broke.

"And then she wasn't. She was stillborn. I never even saw her. I didn't get to hold her or tell her how much I love her. But Jason did and he told me about her. She had thick, curly black hair, like her father. But she had my features. She was beautiful. And she was gone." Sam swallowed hard, as the tears ran unchecked down her face.

Jace turned her in his arms and held her, swaying slightly back and forth as he rubbed her back. Maybe he was just feeling Sam's pain, but he couldn't deny that there was something inside of him that ached to hold that little girl in his hands. A vague image flashed in his mind.

He was standing behind a curtain, staring down at a perfect little girl with black hair. She looked like a sleeping angel but something was wrong...

Jace tried to hold onto the image but it faded away, leaving nothing but a hollow ache in his heart. Was that real? He prayed it wasn't. He didn't want to think that kind of pain existed in his past.

As he rubbed Sam's back, he became aware of how hard she was shivering. At the same time he realized how thin her shirt was. She wasn't wearing a jacket and it was freezing outside!

"Sam, where's your jacket?" He asked worriedly, shaking her lightly. She looked up at him, her eyes unfocused.

"I-I don't know. I didn't take it. I-I just had to get out. I had to see my daughter." She stammered dazedly. Her shivering was becoming more noticeable, making her teeth chatter as she spoke. Jace rubbed his hands quickly up her arms, trying to create friction to warm her up. Peeling off his own jacket, he settled it over her shoulders.

Sam swayed slightly and Jace cursed.

"Let's get you home." He said softly, dropping his cane to the ground so that he could swing Sam up into his arms. He grit his teeth against the pain in his leg and carried her out of the cemetery. They made it home quickly and without incident. Jace walked to the penthouse across the hall and started to lower Sam to her feet when he realized she'd fallen asleep.

Smiling softly, Jace stood for a moment, trying to decide what to do. He didn't want to wake her, and he didn't want to overstep and search her pockets for her keys. Deciding on the spot, he turned around and moved towards his penthouse. Holding her with one hand, he fished the keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door.

Carrying Sam up to his bedroom, he laid her down. He unzipped her boots, pulled them off, and peeled her socks off. He chuckled as he stuffed the socks into her boots. She even had cute feet, he thought as she curled her black painted toes, bringing her legs up towards her chest for warmth. Reaching out, he brought the blankets up over her. He stared down at her for a moment, leaning down to brush a lock of hair off her forehead. He straightened to go towards the guest room but stopped when Sam curled her hand around his. He looked down to see Sam blinking up at him.

"Don't go." She said softly.

Nodding his head, Jace crawled into the bed beside her, pulling her into his arms. And just like he'd imagined, she fit against him perfectly. It felt as if he'd held her like this a million times before.

Sam tucked herself into Jace, her head against his chest and closed her eyes again, letting his warm presence soothe the ache in her heart and chase away the painful memories.

Just as she drifted off, one thought came unbidden in her mind.

Jason.