Morningdew
The walk back to camp was kept silent but I could smell the tension, confusion, and grief in the air. I risked a glance at Scorchflames body, his head hung slack and his mouth was open showing his strong white fangs. His pelt was wet and coated with mud and stuck out unattractively. My heart ached at the sight of my friend who in life was so confident and strong but now he just looked like a drowned rat.
Tears began to fill my eyes again and Leafpool came closer and pushed her pelt against mine in a comforting gesture. "Its my fault." I whispered, my grief and guilt heavy. "Its not you fault dear, it was an accident. All be it a tragic one but even Scorchflame cant run from Starclan when they call their warriors home."
But your wrong, Scorchflame did fall but Starclan hadn't called him. His death shouldn't have happened, this whole night shouldn't have happened. Why did he have to follow me? Why couldn't I have just broken up with him from the start? My stomach began to churn again and this time I don't think it was my kits. The clan was just beginning to awaken for todays patrols when Bramblestar walked calmly through the opening, Lionblaze and Brakenfur followed with Scorchflame cradled on their shoulders.
Gasps and cries quickly filled the misty morning air, Bramblestar had to yowl over the noise, "Thunderclan, hear me!" the mass quieted at their leaders cry and let Lionblaze and Brackenfur gently place Scorchflame in the middle of the camp. "What happened?" "Who is responsible?" "I smell Windclan on him"question after question were fired at our leader who was still getting over the loss of his warrior.
"No one is at fault, Scorchflame fell from a wet slope past our borders. There is nothing any cat could have done, we are lucky we didn't loose Morningdew as well." Suddenly all eyes were on me, as if they were seeing me for the first time, not able to look my clan in the eye I kept my head low and my shoulders slumped. I could hear whispers of pity and concern, that's right they think I am a mate in mourning and not the piece of rat fur I felt like.
"We will mourn Scorchflame today, all prey caught will be in his honor. We will remember his bravery, his skill, and intelligence for moons to come." Bramblestar said boldly and I saw heads bowed in respect to our dead clan mate. Rosepetal flung her body onto her sons and wept, the sound of her cries broke my heart into even smaller pieces almost turning it to dust. Many wanted to join in the mourning but she shooed them away,
"Oh my kit, my wonderful kit look at you? How could this have happened, Starclan why!?" she wailed, looks of pain and sadness came from every cat and unable to bear the silence anymore I moved over to his large body. Every cat looked at me and said nothing, Rosepetal looked up at my approach and ran to bury her head in my fur. "Oh Morningdew, why did Starclan take our Scorchflame?" I didn't answer her, I couldn't, I couldn't stand the pain speaking his name would invoke. I dipped my head and began to lick the mud and wet from Scorchflames fur, Rosepetal joined me as we groomed him for one more ceremony.
I sat frozen to my place next to his side as throughout the day warrior after warrior came to say good bye to Scorchflame and offer condolences to me. I didn't respond to anyone, I didn't even want to speak, I didn't deserve too not after everything I have done. As the day turned into night my mother came over and licked my head, "Darling you must eat something, you cant stay here all night, you must be exhausted."
Fleetwhisker came over with a vole and nudged it towards me. "There you are, eat up. Scorchflame would hate to see you like this." He said sympathetically, the smell of the vole made my mouth water but I couldn't stand the thought of eating anything while Scorchflame lay dead. Frostfeather came back a little while later with Leafpool and Jayfeather. With great effort they managed to haul me to my feet and led me to the medicine den. "I have some herbs to help with the shock." Jayfeather said as Leafpool helped me settle down in a nest.
"Morningdew, I know this is hard for you but not eating is going to hurt the kits. You need to think of them now." Leafpool whispered nudging moss and grass closer to me, the way Scorchflame used to do. Shocked I let out a small cry, "How do you know?" Leafpool purred a bit, "You aren't the first cat to have kits in Thunderclan you know." I felt a little embarrassed, of course she knew but did she know they were Nightfangs too?
"What are they going to do without a father." I whispered and her eyes grew sad, "They wont be alone, they have you and all of Thunderclan to love, protect, and nurture them. They will do just fine." At that moment Jayfeather came back with a leaf holding a dollop of honey with juniper berries and poppy seeds mixed in.
"This should help you sleep." He said placing the leaf in front of me. I licked it up obediently, they left then to give me some quiet and my thought began to jumble as I lay there waiting for the bliss of sleep. Nightfang knew these were his, I wonder if he is going to want to be in their lives? Certainly I couldn't keep them from him. The whole clan will know I am pregnant soon and I hated the idea of maintaining the lie that they were Scorchflames, it would be an insult to every cat living or dead.
But what else could I do? If I told them the truth I surely would be hated and even banished! No Thuderclan wouldn't do that, they have never turned a cat away and I wasn't the only cat to have kits from another clans tom. Leafpool was the perfect example but if it wasn't for Hollyleaf revealing the truth she would have never said anything. What do you do if the truth is more painful than a blissful lie?
My vision grew black and I could feel myself being pulled into sleep. I dreamed of my kits playing in the field with Nightfang pretending to be a fox while the kits jumped and squealed in delight. I smile and my heart grew warm and full of pride as I looked at my family. Then the dream turned dark as a giant storm blew in, rain fell hard as lighting crashed to the ground threating all of our lives. Nightfang yelled at us to run but the kits were scared and couldn't move, I stood over them protectively as a dark shadow emerged from the clouds. Its dark form whispy and his eye burned gold, Scorchflame?
"You took everything from me Morningdew!" he hissed and lunged at us his white fangs large and sharp and I shook myself awake, gasping for air and looking around me in fear. I heard the rain drip outside and a flash of lightning caught my attention as I looked outside, the camp was empty and Scorchflames body was still in the middle getting drenched. I bounded over to him in I buried my face in his soaking wet fur, "Im sorry Scorchflame, I am so sorry. I wish more than anything I had died today instead of you." I sobbed,
"Crying wont bring him back." A cool voice spoke from the shadows behind me. I turned and saw a glowing blue she cat emerge from the warriors den. I had never met this cat but the startling blue eyes could only have belonged to one cat, "Bluestar?" I gawked and she nodded in response. "Have you come to punish me?" I said almost hopefully, "No Morningdew I have not come to punish you. Starclan has been watching you and young Nightfang for many moons now, it is against the warrior code to take a mate from another clan." she spoke with authority,
"But I also had the temptation of another clan male and bore his kits." She said her eyes growing from stern to sympathetic, I remembered mother telling me about Mistystar from Riverclan being half Thunderclan. "Though my transgression didn't result in the death of a clanmate." She said looking at Scorchflame.
"Im sorry Bluestar, truly I am. I never meant for Scorchflame to be hurt, let alone die." I whimpered ungracefully, Bluestar came over to where I crouched and gave me a light lick. "Enough crying young one, you will be mother soon and no grieving mother has ever raised happy kits." She said I looked at her eyes, they were lined with stars, "But what do I do? I cant let the clan believe these are Scorchflames kits." I asked and she grew thoughtful,
"Sometimes its better to agree to a lie for the sake of the clan. I hid the secret of my kits parentage for most of my leadership, only until I was near death did I confide in Firestar my biggest regret. Then again you can think of Leafpool and her kits, when the truth came out she wasn't banished and the kits were not shunned." Her words helped with the pain a little, "So what do I do?"
"You will have to figure that out for yourself, just know that regardless of your decision you are a warrior of Thunderclan and a clan protects its own." She backed away and as I began to be pulled back to consciousness I saw the outline of a large brown tom and a small white and black kit cuddling Bluestar, another gray outline stood proudly next to her as he patted the kit with a paw. The scene warmed my frozen limbs and as I blinked myself awake I knew what I had to do.
Nightfang
I walked with Onestar as we made our way to the gathering. Harespring stayed behind this evening because he was exhausted from coughing. Onestar was going to announce me as the new deputy tonight and I had to admit I was nervous and excited. I wondered if Morningdew would be there to see me? I thought and ice closed in on the thought, I forgot that I was supposed to banish my feelings for her.
If she was at the gathering I was going to tell her I hope she finds happiness with another tom because I couldn't be he mate anymore, and the kits, well if I am lucky I will get to see them at gatherings and on patrols. It would be hard but my heart needs to lay with Windclan and my duties as the deputy.
As we filed behind Onestar I noticed many familiar faces. I greeted the other deputies as I took my place at the roots of the tree, Tawnypelt Shadowclans deputy gave me an odd look while Reedwhisker and Squirrelflight asked together, "Were is Harespring?"
"He has decided to step down as deputy, his lungs are weak from his sickness last winter and he still has to recover." I replied sitting up straight, trying to look confident. They exchanged looks but before they could say more the leaders called for the meeting to begin.
"Thunderclan has some sad news. Our warrior Scorchflame has died in a tragic accident just two nights ago, its times like these that I am reminded at how special life is and how easily it can be taken away. Scorchflame was a fine warrior and was respected by all, I hope his hunting is endless and his nights warm." Bramblestar said, and I saw Thunderclan cats dip their heads in respect, the other clans bowed their heads as well.
"May he be forever honored in Starclan." Mistystar said and got some yowls from below. As the other leaders gave their reports I scanned the crowd and found a familiar gray white head looking at me. Morningdew, she was here! Starclan why is she here! She should be resting, what about the kits? I clawed to root I was on anxious about her condition. Every moment seemed like forever as I waited for the leaders to finish so I could speak with Morningdew.
"And finally Windclan has a new deputy. Harespring has decided to step down as he is unwell. Nightfang has proven his loyalty and dedication to his clan mates and we are honored to have him as our deputy." Onestar called and a light cheer came from the clans as they congratulated me. I didn't expect to feel so embarrassed but when I saw the happiness in Morningdews eyes all I could think about was her.
Darn it Nightfang! Stop letting yourself be pulled in. "Since New leaf is here the leaders and I need to talk about the summer clan games this year, everyone mingle amongst yourselves." Rowanstar called as the leaders huddled closer, I saw the deputies move to sit with them but I couldn't wait any longer. I sought out Morningdew and tilted my head to a spot in the back that was bare. She jumped up eagerly and followed,
"Nightfang! Im so glad you're here, I wanted-"
"I cant be your mate anymore!" I blurted and she froze but after a moment her eyes softened. "I understand your angry but if I could just explain myself then maybe I can make up for it. Can we meet in our cave one more time?" She whispered her eyes full of sorrow. I took a deep breath, not sure what to say. My heart screamed yes but my head screamed no, Starclan how do you tell the two apart.
"Fine, one more time. But I have to insist that for the sake of each of our honor and our clans that we end this relationship."