popculturescholar94: "Can I make a prompt request? Idk I have been really obsessed with tattoos lately.. Can April and Jackson get tattoos?"

Yes they can! And it can be angsty, too!:) Sometimes when I have an idea but it's not fully formed, I just pick a tense that's not third person. That's really all.

*So this ended up being the choice to get a tattoo more than anything. Hope you like it.

100 Encore, Day 72: "Hold My Hand (Idiot)"

"Do you trust me?" he asks me, and I nod.

"Yes, of course I trust you." He is the only person I trust. He is the only person I have. He is my family.

It used to be fun, when I was baking our son. That's what he called it every night. "How's the baby baking going?" he would ask.

I'd laugh. "You're such an idiot," I'd say. And then Samuel died.

Jackson Avery is not an idiot. He's my lifeline. He's the reason I can smile today, six moths later; even if I can't laugh. He's the one reason I felt ready to go to work in a week. Of course I trusted him, but I didn't like that noise.

"Jackson, what's that buzzing noise? Can you take the blindfold off me, now?"

"Yeah, I'm proud of you, babe…Letting me blindfold you…" I'd been having a lot of control issues since our son died. I liked my house spotless. Jackson only worked 9-5 now. At 5:30, when he got home, dinner was on the table. Then I showered and we'd cuddle and go to sleep. Sometimes I let him kiss me. It feels nice and he is so patient, but I can't make love yet.

He sits me down on a chair and removes the blindfold. I'm in front of a wall of tattoo designs. "Honey, you're getting a tattoo?"

"Yeah. I have an appointment with a guy and…"

"Need me to hold your hand?" I smile and grab his hand. "But why did you blindfold me?"

He smiled. "I wanted to surprise you. I want you to see the design, and I was hoping we could pick a spot for it together. It's got two pieces to it…I thought maybe you could get the other piece…"

"I don't know Jackson, I don't think so…" A tattoo was never something I'd considered.

"OK, well just look at it babe, then decide…"

The artist, Matt, came out and handed Jackson the stencil. He squeezed my hand before showing it to me.

"That's my baby's footprints!" I gasp when I see them.

"Yeah…they are."

"How did he get them?"

"I gave them to him and sat here and waited for him to give them back to me, yesterday." I nod. He knows me so well. He knows I will protect everything that belonged to my son, always. He does too, but not like me.

"You want me to help pick a spot for you?"

"For us, sweetheart. He had two feet, and two parents. I just thought, it was a good time to get one, right before you go back to work. That way you'll always have a piece of him with you."

I look at the tattoos. Samuel's footprint with his name and the date underneath it. Why did my son only get one date?

"I don't like this…can he take this off?" I point to the writing.

"Yeah, why though?"

"Because I cannot memorize his footprints. But I will never forget his name or the date."

"OK, no name, no date."

"On yours either?"

"Mine either. We're doing this together."

"OK. Spot now?" He nods. "Where do you want to put it?"

"I thought maybe the inside of our arms, that way we can put them together as one, like that see?" He shows me.

"I don't want to answer a million questions about my tattoo my whole life."

"You don't have to answer questions about anything you don't want to…"

"What about our feet?"

"I hear that hurts like a bitch and it's my first tattoo, so I'm not really looking to go there right away. Is it your first?"

I slap his shoulder. "Idiot…you haaave seen me naked. So many times. Not recently, but…"

Jackson grins. "Ahhh…your favorite insult is back," he kisses my forehead, excited about it."You never know. They have those white ink…So, arms OK?"

"OK. Will you go first and hold my hand?"

"Always. I will always go first and hold your hand…will you hold mine?"

"Always." We stand up, fingers intertwined and he leads the way into the back room.