Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of TDI. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TDI contains stunts performed by written teens. If I find out you are trying these stunts at home, I will come over there and kick your butt.
The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - I update fast, as a way of apologizing to all of you for the very long delay. I would also like to point out that, as of last chapter, Total Drama Battlegrounds has a higher word count than Total Drama Comeback. While I could brag about this, it seems silly to, considering I'd be bragging about beating myself.
I would also like to address rumors that I was bullied by Dragon Ball Z loving Atheists when I was young, causing me emotional stress and self-deprecation so much that I would get my revenge on the worst of them by naming him after the most despised character here so I could have him be hit, kicked in the face, and hated by all so that I could have late but satisfying, delightful revenge.
This is simply not true. I don't think they liked Dragon Ball Z.
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Chapter 39 - One Last Stomp on the Road
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(Hysteric Crowd, Team 1 - Alfred, Mandy, Sebastian.)
Have you ever been stuck in a crowded place that's loud with noise no matter where you go? That's how a giant platypus would feel if it ever walked through a metropolis. That, and the annoying buildings that kept getting in the way so you had to tip them over. The platypus grumbled and groaned as it tried to make its way through the city, at least try to find a decent place for fly larvae, even a drive-thru.
Running from the beast on a rampage were a cultist who had had a different idea of a terror rising from the sea, a gonzo still carrying an RPG-7, and a philosopher who was contemplating if there was anything more silly than what he was running from ("No, not really"). Sebastian felt the platypus was like really bad luck with the radio: the bad stuff kept turning up, good parts were ending quickly, and one would pray it's not cut off far too soon.
"We are all gonna die," Mandy was shrieking. "And not the good way, this way doesn't assure any glorious afterlife or at least an interesting case on a murder mystery! One of the boring ones where you wonder if they have run out of ways to kill people, and I know of five hundred and twenty-seven ways to kill someone!"
"Then I guess I should hold him off," Alfred shouted, skidding to a halt and turning around, pointing the RPG-7 up at the approaching giant. "And if this baby doesn't do the trick, I will take a crowbar and unhinge his head from his neck! Rawr!"
"… Five hundred and twenty-eight. Never considered the crowbar-"
"Mandy," Alfred grabbed her wrist and said, "if I don't make through this, I want you to! So go, live, and all that jazz!" He kissed her forehead, then spun her around and smacked her butt. "Move!"
"Awk," the cultist with an obsession for death, destruction, and global annihilation was now blushing and giggling nervously as she ran away next to Sebastian; he, however, was now updating that this was now officially the silliest situation he had ever been in.
The two were almost all the way down the road when they heard the roar of the rocket over the shrieks of terrified civilians. The explosion was muffled out by the furious roar of the platypus, but even both eardrum-shattering noises could not drown out the furious cry of, "Aw, damn it, where's a crowbar when you need o-"
Another loud stomp of the monster cut off the rant, and Mandy cringed deep down. "Damn it," she whimpered, "why couldn't we get someone cool to finish his mortal life, like Cthulhu?"
"That's your answer to everything," Sebastian said, "quite literally."
"It's a damn good answer that no one can counter! Cthulhu's greater than Chuck Norris!"
"Blasphemy."
"Oh, what can one mortal man do about it? You Norris fans and your weird obsession for someone who is clearly just overpowered! I cannot wait until reality hits you noobs like a ton of bricks!"
The building nearby them almost exploded, bricks showering down as the platypus, who had taken a shortcut, punched through it. Civilians were crushed and brained by the falling bricks, Mandy included as a large portion of the wall came down on her. Sebastian managed to escape damage and ran off down an alley way, just barely hearing a frustrated whimper of, "Five hundred and twenty-nine… damn it…"
"Man, and I don't even like Chuck Norris jokes," Sebastian said. "Guess one should not question Chuck's ways, but I doubt they teach that at college classes!"
He leapt over some overturned garbage cans, dodged a couple muggers, climbed over a fence, and blitzed through a public ballpark. Panting for air, he sat underneath the bleachers. He looked up, and noticed an interesting detail.
"Wow, gum stuck under the bleachers, the VR really goes the extra distance in these scenarios," he mused. He took a deep breath and pondered just how much effort Joel put into making Vera, when the sun was blotted out by a giant flipper foot.
"Well," he said, fuming slightly as the giant foot descended, "paraphrasing a great philosopher: details of my death will be greatly comical."
(Janitor's Closet - Was that Socrates?)
Sebastian - "I seem to have terrible luck in these games. Blown up by a grenade launcher, torn up by zombie dogs, sucked out into the cold void of space, and now stomped on a giant platypus. Some might call that racist, but now it's perfectly okay for minorities to die in horrendous ways in movies and such."
*He raises a very dubious eyebrow.* "Funny how that works. I'll never get Hollywood."
Alfred - "I know I shouldn't say this, but I think losing these games is just as cool as surviving! I mean, c'mon, I got to go down fighting against a giant monster! Reminds me of how once Keith picked a fight with the quarterback at school; sure, he ended up with a minor concussion and a couple broken ribs, but the girls were all over while he recovered! Sometimes, you gotta appreciate losing, because you'll learn to approve and get sympathy."
Mandy - *furious sputtering* "And Cthulhu eats Chuck Norris for breakfast! That's right, he devours him, and then revives him to eat him tomorrow morning! How you like me now, you foolish mortals who think some cowboy will save your pathetic souls? Roundhouse kicks will not save you from Azathoth, the destroyers of worlds! So you can go f-"
(Panicky Mob, Team 4 - Heather, Justin, Leshawna, Xander.)
"Is it still following us?" Leshawna asked, looking around.
A nearby post office was obliterated as the giant centipede came crashing through. Justin and Heather screamed as its gaping maw snatched a semi that was trying to drive by, and shook it like a mad dog.
"What's it take to stop that thing?" Heather declared.
"Buildings don't stop it, explosions and cars hitting it don't phase it," Justin listed, "and I got a feeling this town doesn't have a pesticide factory handy."
"And you all mocked me when I suggested a great, big meerkat," Xander mumbled, nervously tracing his facial scar.
"Sugar, you watch too much of the nature channel or something?" Leshawna quipped, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Mostly thinking of Lion King, sister's a Disney fanatic."
"Yours too, eh?"
Heather grabbed their shoulders, and declared, "If you two are done flirting, have you forgotten that the giant centipede is still over yonder?"
Leshawna brushed off her hand. "Well, I'm open to any ideas you got, skinny."
The skinny, I mean Heather, rolled her eyes, and said, "I don't think we can kill it, let's just run!"
As she said this, the centipede flung the mauled semi from its mouth, throwing it down the street and colliding with several other cars. A massive fireball exploded amid the wreckage, quickly became flaming wreckage, and blocked the pathway up ahead. Heather blinked a great many times, then face-palmed.
"See that coming?" Xander asked Leshawna, grinning.
"Totally."
"Right on."
They exchanged a fist bump, while Justin grinned and golf-clapped. Heather seethed, and shouted, "We gotta get out of here! Why aren't any of you taking me seriously?"
"I think it comes from the fact that we know we're all about to die," Justin admitted. "Doesn't surprise me, I haven't survived one of these things yet."
"Then start surviving, and run!"
She blitzed to a large store, and ran in, ignoring the signs of sales on shoes (very hard for her to ignore, especially those cute pumps and the hot platforms that came in just her color). Leshawna and Xander were right behind her, and Justin bringing up the rear, until he was snatched by the centipede. A bloodcurdling scream from a handsome man alerted the three, and they winced as the monster swallowed loudly.
"Least he doesn't chew before he swallows," Xander grumbled. "Maybe we can make it choke to death."
"No fat jokes, buddy," Leshawna warned him.
"Wouldn't dream of it, especially since you could kick my ass."
"Will you two stop flirting?" Heather declared as they ran through the store. "My God, why is it that people cannot go through this game without making passes at each other?"
"We're talking," Xander retorted. "Just because you're a shipping maniac doesn't mean every interaction is canon, or however the expression goes!"
"What do you take for, scar face?"
"A proud supporter of Heathekiel."
"What the hell is that… oh."
Heather face-palmed and groaned in frustration, while Xander and Leshawna high-fived (if this scene looks familiar to you somehow, it is because it was an unintentional reenactment of any non-shipper dealing with shippers, or vice-versa; wars are started over this, but luckily, it's all over the internet, or at least we hope it is).
The three reached the door at the back of the store, and Heather stepped outside first. She glanced around, and nodded back at them. "Okay, we gotta find one of those bridges," she said as she walked down the stairs, "because once we do, we'll have three people who survived at le-"
Leshawna and Xander saw the blur of a large, metal object, possibly a car, fly right past them, taking Heather with it. A very audible smacking of the queen bee on the windshield was almost covered up by the audible screams of the two members of her team. Xander stumbled back and tripped on the stairs as the car with Heather's body soared past and slammed against a building. Leshawna glanced over to the side, to see that the giant centipede had crawled over the building down the street, now throwing cars and other vehicles around like a tantrum-terror toddler.
"Ya gotta be frontin' me," Leshawna declared. She lifted Xander up and pulled him back into the store with him, hiding from the glass doors. As more cars sailed by, she shook her head and said, "This sure has become a lot tougher than the other VR challenges."
"Yeah, this is becoming a real pain, avoiding the bug from hell," Xander said.
"They're not bugs, they're arthropods."
The two jumped but immediately relaxed when they saw it was Noah, with Belinda smiling and waving at them pleasantly. "Hey, rude string bean," Leshawna said, "come here to chew us out?"
"Are you going to begrudge me forever?" Noah replied. Belinda elbowed him, to which he winced and groaned. "I mean, sorry and all that."
"Your apology needs to go to someone else, and you know that."
"Well, he's not here, but we are, and I think that centipede out there is of more concern."
"I'm with string bean," Xander chimed in.
Belinda nodded. "Aye, we're all peas in his pod," she said as she pat Noah's back, smirking at his fuming face. "Now, calm down. He's just stressed because of something having to do with my panties."
"You keep bringing that up," Noah shouted as Leshawna and Xander looked at him with wide grins. "I tried to drop the subject since you brought it up!"
"Fool," Xander said amid chuckles.
"You gotta lighten up, string bean," Leshawna added.
Noah was now painfully thinking of him annoying Chris to no end, and if this was karma… then he looked at Belinda, who beamed at him with all the innocence in the world. "Are you trying to show me…," he started, but stopped and cleared his throat. "Wait, no, never mind, I see your point. Lighten up, you want the cynic to stop being cynical? Well then, let's have some fun in bringing down a giant centipede down to its many, many knees."
"That's more like it, Noah," Xander cheered. "What's the plan, man?"
(Janitor's Closet - Wait, who's making these comments?)
Noah - "So Belinda was trying to teach me not to be mean… no, she wouldn't defend Chris…" *He ponders it, then his eyes widen in realization.* "Oh… I think she was trying to tell me that my frustration and anger were making me as unreasonably angry as Chris… unholy hell, I kind of have been. I hate saying this, mostly because I dread what people are going to say as if they know me better than I do, but I owe Rodney an apology."
Heather - *sulking* "Why does everyone treat me like a softie now? They think because I'm dating Ezekiel, I'm not as crafty and smart as I used to be? I am just as strong as ever… I just was hit by a car, that's all. Though I really haven't been leading or anything… makes me wonder how much Ezekiel has changed me."
Justin - *He is studying himself in a hand mirror, and sighs.* "For the first time in my life, I worry that my looks aren't good enough over all. I never win these challenges, and I feel like a fool in front of the others; Beth is the only person who has faith in me, I should do better to do right by her."
Chris Maclean - *He gags and shakes his head.* "Have you seen the confessionals these days? What's with these teens, it's like they want to mature and grow up! We don't want that, we want fights and drama and unnecessary aggression!"
*Groucho the Duck leaps from his hiding place, and attacks Chris' head, pecking and pulling at his hair; the host freaks and thrashes around, then hits the wall and knocks himself out.*
Groucho the Duck - "Filthy communist sympathizer! Terrorist-supporting pacifist! You sack of… oh it's just Chris. Sorry."
(Hysteric Crowd, Team 3 - Carol.)
"And I'll take one of these, one of these… ooo, is that the latest kind of rifle, used by American forces? Groovy, I'll snag one of these!"
Carol was raiding the supplies of an army outpost, looking for some kind of support. So far, on her small body, she had four RPG-7s and an AK-47 strapped to her back, a rifle in her left hand and a shotgun strapped around her shoulder, grenades strapped all around her waistband, a combat knife strapped on each leg, and was now picking up an entrenching tool.
"Ma'am," one of the soldiers said, nervously approaching her, "what good is a shovel against a giant monster?"
"If it's good enough for the Green Berets, an E-Tool is good enough for me," she declared, holding it up and almost losing her balance. After regaining it, she took a soldier's camouflage paint and smeared it all over her face, though in her haste and by only using her fingertips, it looked liked a series of scratch-like marks. "All right, I have a giant, egg-laying, duck-like ass to kick!"
"But what hope do you really have against the monster?" the soldier asked.
"More to the point, why are we giving her all our weapons?" another soldier grumbled. "Seriously, we're trained soldiers and she's about four feet tall and insane."
Carol hit the rude soldier on the head with the E-Tool. "Shut up, pointless and futile resistance! Now, I'll just borrow your radio communicator," she said as she swiped the device from the unconscious man, "and now, I'm gonna rock!
"I'm gonna rock this platypus like a hurricane," she shouted as she ran off and towards a particularly tall hotel the monster had not yet destroyed. "I'm your worst nightmare! Yippie-ki-yay, platy-pussy!"
The soldiers watched in amazement as the short girl charged off with most of their weapons at an impressive land speed. The one she K. sat up groaning, muttering about wanting a Round 2. And just when their shock had gone, a trio of interesting people showed up. Gwen and Rodney, still helping Tyler walk, came trudging up to the base.
"Could I get a new helmet?" Rodney asked a six-foot soldier with the most impressive biceps. "This one got all bent up."
"D'aww, aren't you just the cutest little soldier?" the big man said. He plucked his own helmet off and placed it on Rodney's head, the size of the new headgear vastly bigger than the kid's head and shading his eyes.
Tyler got a long rifle as a crutch, since as the soldier put it, "Like hell we're gonna shoot the fifty foot monster to death." Gwen took a swig from a soldier's canteen, looking around the camp. "So… what happened here? You guys barely have any weapons?"
"Some little blond girl just took all our weapons," one of the soldiers said. "Just took 'em all and headed for that hotel over there."
"She was brutal," the injured soldier wailed. "She took the rocket launchers and rifles, the grenades and the shovel, and then she hit me!"
"Went totally Rambo," the first soldier commented.
Tyler and Gwen exchanged glances. "Carol?" she asked.
"Definitely Carol."
"Looks like she's got her mojo back, but she's not going to bring down that monster alone."
"I'm not up for letting her go and fight to her death. This might sound crazy, but want to go help her?"
Gwen grinned and nodded. "You got it, sporto. Besides, I'll be damned if I just run away in a giant monster movie, I'm going to fight to the bitter end!"
(Janitor's Closet - Seriously, who's making these little remarks?)
Tyler - "Little by little, I'm trying to get Gwen to open up to me. See, I know something is bothering her, something at home, and as someone who's gone through that, I'm determined to help her; I cannot imagine how bad things would be for me if someone hadn't helped me! I can do this, I'm not just some dumb jock!"
*He pumps his fists in determination, and hits his elbow against a wall. Letting out a pained cry, he winces and rolls his eyes.* "That really doesn't prove anything, does it? Just an accident!"
Carol - *still pumped* "I am goddess of war! Lord of doom bring an end to the story, 'cause I hunt you down without mercy, back to the front you will die when I say, and through the fire and the flames I carry on! Take that, bitches!"
(Panicky Mob, Team 4 - Belinda, Leshawna, Noah, Xander.)
"Okay, we need the fastest on their feet to run out there," Noah was explaining to the others of his team, "to run out there, get it to chase her or him, then run over part of its body."
"And what, you're hoping that the creature will bite itself?" Leshawna asked. "What makes you think it's going to work?"
"You remember the game Centipede?"
"What, you mean that old game? What makes you think that's going to work?"
"Because that's the classic way to destroy a centipede! If it doesn't work, well, we tried everything else, and we must run."
"And whoever's bait is dead."
"True. Now, who wants to test my theory?"
Xander shrugged. "Sorry dude, I'm not the fastest runner. I don't know about sending either of these lovely ladies out to be bait."
"Sweet but also sexist," Leshawna pointed out.
"Just holding the door open for you, babe."
"Thanks, but I don't know, I think we should send someone who can run real fast and has faith in the plan."
Noah noticed the three were looking at him, and then he shook his head. "Oh no. I spend most of my life in front of my computer! There's no way I can run circles around the centipede!"
"'It's your plan, Noah, you should do it,'" Noah grumbled as he stepped out of the store. "Guilt, you have deprived me of sanity yet again, thank you."
He walked out into the street, and saw the centipede tearing apart some tattoo parlor. Clearing his threat, he called out, "Hey! Legs! I wanna be eaten! Come dine!"
The centipede either didn't hear him or didn't care as it tore apart an electronic store. Noah was calling out more, and then started to get annoyed. "Hey! I'm trying to commit suicide here, and you're not helping me," he declared. He picked up a rock from some rubble and tossed it. "Hey, you… 'decipede'! That'd be witty if you know Roman numerals!
"Get over here, stupid centipede! You and your too many legs, and your lousy arthropod name! You're lucky this is Canada with your stupid metric name! Your mother was a millipede, and your father worked as a part-time dung beetle!"
That did it. The centipede turned around slowly and glared at Noah. Crawling around, it snarled as it started to come at him.
"Oh no," Noah whimpered, frozen in terror, "I think I just centipede my pants."
Then, with all the bravery and machoism Noah was known for, he screamed like a girl and ran away. The centipede chased after him, and almost caught him when it was struck in the noggin by a Molotov cocktail. It shook away the flames, and glared at the attacker.
"Want more, centipede?" Leshawna asked, taking a second bottle from Xander. She hurled it at the monster, and sprinted in the opposite direction with the beast after it.
"Run over it, Leshawna, over it," Noah called out.
"Too late," she called back as she sprinted away from the beast, veering towards the buildings. The monster reared its head back and dove at her, until a shotgun blast pelted it from the side.
Crystal stood in an alleyway, holding the smoking firearm and blowing away the smoke. "All right, you're brown bread now, chap," she snarled. "Because no one, and I mean no one, steps on my city, and you have vastly exceeded my limit!"
(Janitor's Closet - These comments have been around forever, who is doing them?)
Crystal - "Lame catch phrase? Sorry, but I'm more known for romance and poetry, not bloodcurdling battle cries."
Leshawna - "Maybe there is still good in Noah. Maybe we can change him. Heh, Harold, your Star Wars love has infected me so."
Xander - "Between Crystal and her boomstick, Leshawna and her Molotovs, and Belinda with her panties, I've gotta say, I got the hottest team ever. Quite glad I signed up for this."
(Hysteric Crowd, Team 4 - Gwen, Rodney, Tyler.)
The elevator's music was quite boring, but the three weren't too concerned. Tyler steadied himself on his rifle crutch, Gwen drummed her fingers on her arms, and Rodney tried to balance his overly large helmet on his head. The pleasant ding of their arrival alerted their attention and they headed out, the prodigy accidentally walking into the door first and then stepping out.
Carol was already standing there, watching the platypus smashing some skyscrapers a few streets away. She glanced over at the others, and grinned. "Hey, how goes it, people? What are you doing here?"
"We're here to help you," Gwen said. "You got about four RPG-7s, you want to hand us one?"
"No need for that! I used the radio to call in an airstrike!"
"What? But… you're a civilian! And there are still people in the city! And they believed you when said a giant platypus was smashing the city?"
"B-movie rules, you should know that."
"Touché!"
Carol chuckled as she looked around in the sky. "Yes sir, I won't even have to use all the weapons! We won this, people!"
The roar of fighter planes could be heard in the distance, and Carol cheered, leaping in triumph. Tyler and Gwen cheered, while Rodney tried desperately to see what it was they were cheering about; all he could see, in the distance was the platypus smashing buildings.
As the fighter planes came into sight of our survivors, they launched their missiles at the platypus. Heat-seeking and lethal, they exploded upon impact against the beast's head and side. Fire engulfed the creature, and it's sudden quack of horror muffled out by explosion could be heard all over the city.
The three teenagers let out cheers of victory, Gwen hugging Carol. Rodney blinked, biting his bottom lip. "Wow… that was… sad."
"What?" Carol asked. "C'mon, kid, we won! That platypus is dead meat!"
The smoke and fire was still thick around where the creature was standing. Then a flipper stuck out, and waved some of it away. With a furious grunt, the platypus supported itself on two buildings, hacking and coughing, then angrily knocked over the buildings and roared in frustration.
The four stared at the platypus as it kicked over more buildings. Carol's jaw dropped, her eye twitched, and she hung her arms like a knuckle-dragging ape (one with enough firepower to conquer a third world, or New Jersey). After a minute, she let out a strangled whimper and then let out a wail that almost drowned out the roars of the platypus. "This is so unfair! What do I have to do, go Super Saiyan?"
"You gotta be kidding me," Gwen shouted. "Fighter planes cannot take this thing out? What hope do we have?"
"We're doomed," Tyler whimpered. "I'm sorry I slowed you all down, you should get out of the city while you can."
"It's already destroyed most of the city. This section we're in, it's perhaps the last part he hasn't crushed yet. We're screwed, so very dead."
"I failed again," Carol wailed, and then let out a hiccuping snarl. She pulled one of the RPG-7s from her back and cocked it on her shoulder. "I don't care if I die trying, I'm not going to let that thing win! Gwen, take the kid and run!"
"Poor Stingy," the kid said.
Gwen glanced at Rodney. The kid was staring out at the platypus, watching it thrash about as it tried to put out the small fire on its back. The goth girl watched him watching, and then asked, "What? Who's Stingy?"
"Oh, that's, um, what I thought to call him, because he needs a name. Everything does," he explained. "Based on the stinger that platypi have."
"Kid, you're sweet and all," Tyler said as he collapsed against the side of the roof's storage room, "but it's a rampaging monster."
"Still, I cannot help but feel sorry for him, a little," Rodney said. "He's the only of his kind, he's lost and confused, and he keeps getting attacked and hurt for reasons it cannot understand."
"It's stomping on the fricking city," Carol bellowed as she leveled the RPG-7 on her shoulder.
"It doesn't know what humans are, we're as small as fly larvae to him," Rodney said, shaking his head. "Poor Stingy, he's just a lost platypus without a friend in the world."
Gwen's face went from bewilderment to realization. "Wait… wait! Carol! Do not fire that rocket!"
"But I have a good shot-"
"No! Don't do it! I have a plan!"
Gwen removed Rodney's oversized helmet, and looked the prodigy in the eye. "Kid, we need you more than ever. Are you willing to risk your virtual life to defeating this problem?"
"… Um, but I not good at fighting and I fail at these things," Rodney said, starting to tremble in fear, "and if I blow it, it'd be all my fault-"
"No! No, you're exactly what we need to defeat this platypus… I mean Stingy!"
(Janitor's Closet - Are these like confessional subtitles?)
Gwen - "One thing I've learned from all the giant movies is that you need some special weapon to kill them, something we could never have, and I thought we could use what we had. But then I remembered that Joel made these scenarios, and he loves bad movies. And there's one reoccurring theme in a certain giant monster movies that would be worth a shot…"
Cody - "Watching Gwen take charge then in the monster challenge, it's so inspiring! I just wish that I could get over the whole crush and such. It's best to move on…"
Anita - *She is holding a bottle of green hair dye.* "Hmm… should I? Or shouldn't I?" *She sighs.*
Eva - *She is holding a skirt in her hands.* "… I really, really don't want to wear this… is this what it takes? No! Will not do! Competition, Eva, remember! That's what you're here for, damn it! Why must I be so distracted?"
(Panicky Mob - Belinda, Crystal, Leshawna, Noah, Xander.)
"One of you has to run over its body," Noah was shouting. "Get its attention and run over its body!"
"I'm trying, trying as hard as I can," Belinda shouted as she run away from the monster. She headed for its body, but one of its legs knocked her over. The centipede reached in, but she dodged and it hit its face against the street.
"Dang it, why can't it just burn like any normal insect?" Xander shouted, lightning another Molotov cocktail.
"Arthropod," Noah corrected.
"Not important right now, string bean," Leshawna shouted.
The five were all trying to get the centipede's attention, but after some very bad luck and some of their lack of direction, they all ended up grouped together in front of the store where their assault began. Noah stood in front of them, arms spread in defense. He snatched the Molotov from Xander, and grumbled, "Well, this is gonna suck, but I might as well let it swallow me and then set this thing off in him. Maybe that'll work…"
"How you all doing? Is that tiny torch really all you need?"
Down the street, having just turned the corner, were Izzy and Sakaki. The two were covered in dust and scratches, but looked fine otherwise (Izzy did at the least, Sakaki was a nervous wreck).
"Izzy," Noah shouted, "oh man, I never ever thought I'd say this, but thank goodness you're here, crazy girl!"
"Thank you! What can I do?"
"Get it to come over you and then run across part of its body," he hollered, waving the flaming Molotov at the centipede like a torch, causing the large arthropod to back off from primal fear of fire. "You have to do it, now!"
"Ooo, but that calls for a proper distraction," Izzy called out. "Should I kiss Sakaki on the mouth?"
"It's an arthropod, not a yuri obsessed fanboy, you insane woman!"
"Oh, then we need a different distraction," she reasoned, then looked at Sakaki. The moe whimpered and barely managed to squeak out a "no" before Izzy picked her up and held her over her head.
"COME AND GET IT" she screamed out as loud and proud as she could. "Come and get your hot, fresh moe, Mr. Centipede!"
"Put me down," Sakaki wailed. "Oh, this was not the way I thought I would die, even fictionally!"
"Drat, he's not paying attention to us," Izzy snarled in frustration. "Sakaki, you're gonna have to do it, my salesman skills aren't good enough!"
"… What?"
"You have to convince the giant centipede you're delicious!"
Sakaki sobbed a little as she stared up at the sky, still being held up by the crazy girl. With a deep breath, she thought of everyone who mattered, like family and friends and a certain boy that might, as Izzy said, would be impressed by her contribution. "Hey, you… insect!"
"Arthropod!"
"Sorry! Arthropod! I'm delicious! I'm a rare delicacy! I'm… I'm Japanese cuisine!"
The centipede turned its large head at this, and Izzy sped forth. Making a yummy noise ("Mmmmmmrgh!"), the centipede leaned towards the crazy girl carrying out his fast food.
"You can have me for breakfast, lunch, and dinner," Sakaki continued to wail, covering her eyes. "And I go well with melted butter and sour cream!"
"Complete with Irish seasoning," Izzy added. "Now eat us!"
The centipede lunged at them with a hungry cry (which sounded a lot like, "Oh NOM NOM NOM!") and its mandibles snapped, but missed the speeding crazy girl carrying the meal begging to be eaten. Izzy leapt onto its segmented body and leapt off as it made another snap, and thus severed itself in perfect bisection.
Letting out a gargling death cry, it thrashed around as centipede organs and blood spewed from itself. Then it collapsed, twitched a couple times, and then lay completely still.
"Shall we check its pulse?" Belinda asked, raising an eyebrow.
The other survivors let out wild cries of victory. "You did it, crazy girl," Noah shouted.
"Bloody brilliant," Crystal added.
Izzy put Sakaki down on her feet, grinning proudly at her. "You did it, you delicious asian dish! You're our hero!" She kissed the moe all over her face, to which Sakaki whimpered and fainted into Izzy's arms. The crazy girl held her up and said, "Oh my, you'd think it was the first time a giant arthropod tried to scarf her down whole."
(Janitor's Closet - Are we sentient enough to make comments, are we doing this?)
Izzy and Sakaki - Izzy - "See, that's the fun part of this game! How many other people get to carry a shy girl over their head and jump over an enormous centipede in the hopes it'll kill itself? And people call my stories crazy, I think I just proved that truth is stranger than… other truths! Yeah, that's the ticket!"
Sakaki - "Why oh why oh why? Why did I ever sign up for this show? I could also be labeled for false advertisement, I'm sure I cannot be that tasty!"
Izzy - *She licks her cheek.* "Mmm… a little tangy. Not too good but nice."
Sakaki - "You know my family is watching this…"
Izzy - "So are mine, and that just makes things more exciting!"
Sakaki - "That my family is watching me get my face licked by another girl in a janitor's closet on international television?"
Izzy - "Exactly, my friend!" *Sakaki faints and Izzy has to catch her.* "Oh my. Don't you remember that you did all this for Sebastian? I'm sure he's proud of you!"
…
Sebastian - "Poor Sakaki, going through so much under such strange circumstances. The fact that she keeps enduring is incredible, she has so much inner strength that I don't think she's aware of."
Belinda - *smirks* "The things we do for love and crushers, huh people?"
(Hysteric Crowd - Carol, Gwen, Rodney, Tyler.)
"This is a really bad idea," Carol whimpered, "but… but it just might work!"
"You all should get out of here in case it doesn't," Gwen said.
"Cannot run," Tyler said with a shrug.
"Not gonna do it, I'm sticking here to the end," Carol said.
Gwen nodded, and pat Rodney's shoulder. "Okay, kid, do it."
Rodney swallowed, and then shouted out as loud as he could, "Stingy! Mr. Platypus! Don't do anything bad!"
And then, to the amazement of everyone, the giant platypus that was smashing an apartment complex stopped thrashing. It turned in their general direction, and quacked in confusion.
"Stingy! Um, that's what I wanted to call you," Rodney called out. He was shaking, and Gwen held his shoulders in support. "Please don't do anything wrong! You're a good platypus! You are good and gentle!"
Stingy the Platypus blinked and started walking to them. Carol nervously held up one of her RPG-7s, to which Tyler waved frantically at her. She nodded, and started to take off her weapons, and considering how many she had on, it would take a while. That was in good timing though, because by the time Stingy was done plowing through buildings, stomping on cars, and squashing surviving civilians to get to them, Carol was disarmed.
"Stingy, listen to me," Rodney called up to the giant platypus that was now standing right in front of the building and looking at him. "Um… see… I want to be your friend! I never had a friend platypus before, and I think you're nice!"
Stingy blinked some more, and looked closer at Rodney. The kid whimpered and Gwen whispered in his ear, "You're doing fine, keep going!"
"Yes, Stingy, we could be good friends," Rodney happily declared. "We could go swimming together, and talk, and go on adventures! I'd like to be your friend, wouldn't you like to be mine?"
The giant platypus leaned in, placing its scarred flippers on the roof's edge, and then opened its bill; however, it wasn't a growl or quack or snarl. It was a word that came out. "Friend?"
"Friend," Rodney replied.
"It can talk?" Carol exclaimed.
"We can be friends, Stingy," Rodney continued. He reached out and touched the creature's bill. It shook at first and then calmed down as it let Rodney pat its bill.
"… You… friend?" Stingy asked.
"Rodney is Stingy's friend!"
Then a great big tear welled up in both of the platypus' eyes, and a single drop spilled from them. "Stingy always wanted to have friend!"
"And we can, Stingy!"
"But… Stingy has five o'clock appointment soon, gotta step on some other city. Rodney play with Stingy later?"
"Of course I will!"
"Thank you, Rodney. Your… friends come with you?"
"We will too," Gwen said as she squeezed Rodney's shoulders.
"You bet, big guy," Tyler exclaimed.
"We'd love to play with Stingy," Carol declared. "Like hanging out with a Navy SEAL!"
"Thank you… all of you," Stingy said with a happy sniffle.
"No problem, Stingy," the enthusiastic girl said. "Now, you don't want to be late for that appointment, do you?"
"True, that city's not going to stomp itself… good bye, Rodney!"
"Good bye, Stingy!"
The platypus waved, and then turned to leave, waving back at them every other street he walked by or whenever he stepped on some random citizen. When it reached the coast, it dove in, destroying the harbor and boats there with the crashing waves.
"What a nice guy," Rodney chirped.
"You did it, Rodney," Gwen exclaimed, hugging the prodigy child.
"No, it was your idea too," Tyler said, limping over to them and hugging them both. "You both did great!"
"Stingy would make a good special force," Carol said, watching the water recede.
(Janitor's Closet - It's like having a roommate or something, always in the room next to you!)
Rodney - "Wow, that worked really well! But now I want a platypus pet! I wonder where they sell fly larvae…"
DJ - "That had to have been one of the cutest monsters I've seen! The platypus, I wonder if they would get along with Bunny! Seriously, it would be incredible to have two cute lil' pets! I hope momma's not allergic to platypi!"
Yoshi - *raises an eyebrow* "Well… I still think I was in the right when I attacked it with my sword. Stingy was a worthy adversary."
(Maclean Stadium, Arena.)
Vera powered down and those still in the virtual reality world were released. They shook themselves off, and then joined their teams in celebration, while Chris looked on.
"Well, that was very interesting," he said after all the cheering from the contestants and the crowd died down. "Panicky Mob caused the giant centipede to kill itself, and Hysteric Crowd befriended the beast and sent it on its way before it destroyed the city. Very interesting!"
"Twas fun," Carol shouted. "I got my groove back!"
"And you did well, Sakaki," Sebastian said to the moe girl, which caused her to blush, then swoon and faint; luckily, Izzy was there to catch her.
Noah sighed amid the conversations, and saw Katie watching them. She waved at him, giggling at his shocked expression. He hurried over to her, embracing her in a hug. "Katie! How did you get here? I thought you weren't allowed back!"
"I hopped on a ride back! I just wanted to see me, and clear things up with Courtney!"
She gestured to the CIT, who sat down in a seat nearby. When Noah looked astonished, she shrugged and waved. "You mean you're okay with her?" he asked Katie.
"Oh, yeah! We talked about all kinds of things, like family and expectations and competition. I think I got through to her, we're cool; we'll be going out for dinner in a couple weeks, she knows this great Japanese restaurant, get some girl time, bring Sadie and you along, maybe Duncan if he behaves-"
"Hey, Katie!"
Chris Maclean stormed over. "How many times have I told you people who were voted off to stay out? You have to go now!"
"But I have no ride!"
"Give her a break, Maclean," Courtney grumbled. "She had a long day, running all the way here and all."
"No breaks! If you don't have a ride, tough!"
As if on cue, a motorcycle came roaring into the stadium, the rider waving as he shred the turf and made an impressive stop in front of the others. Taking off his helmet, Trent smiled at Chris Maclean and said, "Well then, mind if I do it?"
"Since when do you ride a motorcycle?" Chris snapped. "And I keep telling you-"
"Trent!"
Gwen almost knocked Trent over in an excited hug, glomping her boyfriend. "Hey, Gwen," he said after he recovered. "Managed to get my ride up here, decided to take it for a spin and see you. Sorry I missed the game."
"You missed it? You should have seen it! We befriended this giant platypus, and my plan worked! Rodney was so cool, you really should have seen it happen!"
Trent chuckled as he hugged his girlfriend back as Chris groaned. "You know, I haven't even announced the winners! Will you all let me do that, at least?"
"Yes, who won?" DJ asked. "I thought it was extremely close!"
"That just shows you what you know," Chris said, laughing. "If you'd have paid attention, when that centipede died, there were seven people around them!"
"And only four around when the platypus won," Yoshi groaned. "But weren't there more survivors out there?"
Chris checked the records on his electronic pad, and raised an eyebrow. "Yes, one: Colin."
Almost everyone groaned in disappointment, Alfred booing loudly. The spikey-haired teenager scoffed and shouted back, "You all can kiss my ass!"
"So then," Chris Maclean said, clapping his hands, "the winners of the giant monster VR challenge are Panicky Mob! Well done, well done indeed! And the winners of immunity for Hysteric Crowd are Colin, Gwen, Rodney, Tyler, and Carol. Want to guess who gets to pick the others immune?"
"Well, Rodney did the job of befriending the monster," Gwen said, "so he gets it, right?"
"Nope, you do," the host said, shoving the electronic pad in her hands. "Your plan, your choices. So you have to cruelly deny the kid this reward."
"But you just gave me the reward-"
"You're the cruel one, nyah nyah nyah!"
Gwen groaned and shook her head. Trent pat her shoulder, to which she smiled gratefully. They both looked over their choices, and she hummed in thought. "Hmm, only three choices. Hard to do… guess I'll just pick some of the saner ones."
She poked a couple, then mused for a few seconds, then sighed in defeat. "Rodney," she called out, "come help me pick the last person!"
"Now wait a minute," Chris said, "I just said you were cruelly denying him that-"
"Shove off, Chris," she spat, then squat down to show Rodney the electronic tablet. "Anyone you really like here?"
He nodded and pointed at one, to which she selected and handed the pad back to Chris. Fuming, he took it and said, "Okay, the following have immunity too: Sebastian, DJ, and Alfred!"
The crowd cheered, and Chris waved to them all before continuing. "That means that the following do not have immunity and can be voted for: Mandy, Clive, Geoff, Yoshi, Ezekiel, Beth, Lindsay, Valerie, and Arthur! See you all in a couple hours!"
The contestants started to shamble off to do their own things. Trent pulled Gwen close to her, and said, "Before I have to take Katie back to where us losers are stuck, want to take a spin on my motorcycle?"
"You know it, handsome."
Gwen sat behind Trent and began their joyride. Ezekiel watched them drive off, marveling the machine, then turning to Heather. "Hey there," he said, beaming at his girlfriend, "want to hang 'oot befur I have to vote?"
"Soo'ry… I mean, sorry, Zeke, I'm really worn out, I want to go take a shower," she admitted. "See you at the voting ceremony?"
"Okay, babe," he said, kissing her cheek. When she walked off, he sighed and glanced off to the side before someone nudged him.
"Hello, stranger," Beth said, smiling at her friend. "Long time, no speak!"
"Indeed, I've missed our morning conversations," Ezekiel said, smiling at her. "Come to discuss voting?"
"Yep yep, I have! C'mon, we have to talk! Justin's gone in a bit of a funk, so I have to do something while I wait for him to cheer up!"
Ezekiel and Beth walked off, talking like old times during Total Drama Comeback. Lindsay hugged Tyler, congratulating him on his victory. Yoshi sighed and looked around, wondering what he should do as he saw Bridgette walk by.
"Hey, Bridgette," he said, stepping up next to her, "can I ask you something?"
The surfer girl couldn't remember when she last had a word with Yoshi, but shrugged and said, "Sure, of course!"
"Is it possible to talk to your boyfriend? I just wanted to ask him for his help on something."
"I… I would," she said, looking around. "But… but I cannot find him anywhere; I haven't seen him most of today!"
"I'm sorry to hear that. Any idea where?"
"No," she admitted sadly. "I really wish I knew what was going on!"
(Janitor's Closet - I mean, we LIKE the comments, but still we wanna know.)
Geoff - *He is shaking as he pulls his hat down over his eyes.* "Man, I cannot take this! Why did I have to be up for voting again? I just know something bad is coming from this! This is so uncool and unfair and so not me, and I… I must hide!"
Harold - "Even though I was killed first, I was really glad that what I thought would work, did! And did you see Leshawna? She was incredible and brave and…"
*He hears some muffled whimper from under a pile of rags. Confused, he throws the rags away and gasps.* "Geoff! What are you doing? Gosh!"
Geoff - "Um… hiding!"
Harold - "Are you hiding from Bridgette again? How dare you hurt her feelings like this!" *He hoists Geoff up to his feet and pushes him against the wall.* "Look, Geoff, you and I are friends, we live an hour away, remember? We went to parties together! So I will not have you hiding from Bridgette like this!"
Geoff - "I'm not hiding from Bridgette, dude!"
Harold - "Then what are you hiding from? Tell me!"
Geoff - "I… I can't!"
*There is a knock on the door, and Geoff squirms out of Harold's grasp. He shouts how it's available now as he runs out of the janitor's closet, almost knocking over Sadie and Katie.*
Sadie - "Oh my gosh, what was that about?"
Harold - "I wish I knew."
Katie - "Poor guy. Well then, Harold, Sadie and I have some catching up to do, and we want to tell all our friends via confessional how we've been doing."
Harold - "But you've only been gone since last night!"
Sadie - "I know! It's been, like, forever!"
Beth stood outside the janitor's closet, tapping her foot impatiently. She glanced at Ezekiel and said, "They've been in there for over twenty minutes now!"
"All I hear is two high-pitched voices talking non-stop. How do they even knoo' what the other is saying, eh?"
"I'll never get that. C'mon, let's go discuss strategy elsewhere!"
They left, and a couple minutes later, Arthur approached the closet. He overheard Katie and Sadie inside, and sighed as he decided to wait his turn. Another twenty minutes later, he stormed off, grumbling angrily.
"I swear, it's like being back home and my sisters talking nonstop, hogging the bathroom!"
"Well, hello there, fearless leader!"
He flinched when he heard the voice, and groaned. "Speaking of annoying girls…"
"Did you think you could avoid me?" Valerie asked as she walked over to Arthur. "You really should hear me out."
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Really? You might want to, since you're responsible for us losing the competition."
"What? That's bull! You pressed the button to detonate the bridge too soon! You killed the girls on it, and us, and failed to kill the platypus."
"No, you did. You were our leader, you would do that, not me."
"You… you liar!"
"Who do you think people are going to believe? You, the loner who accepted responsibility for this challenge as leader, or me?"
She swished her hips and smiled seductively at him. He winced, then backed up as she approached him. His back hit the wall, and then her hand was on the wall as she leaned in, chuckling darkly. "I knew you were pure, pink evil," he growled.
"Save it, handsome. People like me, they don't like you. But I can save you, and I can keep you in this game by finding us a scapegoat."
"And I'll bet you want me in some alliance?"
"No, I want you to cooperate with me," she said as she lifted her fingers up and stroked his collarbone. "I want you to vote for…"
She whispered the name into his ear, and then, before he could react, she pressed her lips against his, deep and forceful. Arthur winced into it, part of him giving in and part resisting. She cooed when she parted, and then added in a whisper, "You're mine now."
"You… you won't get away with this."
"I think I have. Now vote my way, be a nice boy. That way, no one will blame you for this loss, they'll even forget you ever took responsibility."
She sashayed off, winking back at him. Arthur groaned and slid down the wall, staring at his knees.
(Janitor's Closet - Maybe it's a ghost? OooOOOooo!)
*Katie and Sadie are nonstop talking until they finally step out to use the ladies' room. As soon as they leave, Arthur barges in.*
Arthur - "Finally! Jeez, they've been in here forever! Pink shorts-wearing girls… I cannot stop being bothered by girls in pink! Stupid Twilight-loving, pink obsessed politician!" *He licked his lips, then scoffed at himself.* "Man, what have I got myself into?"
Valerie - *She laughs and smirks.* "It's all politics, people are so easy to manipulate. Arthur dug his own hole when he said he'd lead, and thus I knew he could be used if we lost. The kiss? That was just for fun!" *She licks her lips and laughs again.* "I love this freedom, this scheming! I'm going to have such fun!"
Zachary - "Hehe, Valerie told me what she did. Isn't a girl that crafty hot? Makes me want her something fierce, I wonder if I can get her alone… and if I can rub it in Arthur's pasty face! Har!"
Chef Hatchet - *cleaning up the rags and torn notes* "If I didn't know better, I would say there's been some sinister dealings going on around here! Look at this, rags and paper all over my new, clean closet! Back in my days, we had clean closets, and we kept them that way, and we were thankful for them! Why also-"
*We are thankful for being able to cut this rant short.*
(Maclean Stadium, Arena, Voting Ceremony.)
Chris Maclean held up a trophy in his hand, one which had the icon of a large reptile stomping on some buildings. The audience roared, some of the members quite literally. The contestants all eyed the trophy, then some just rolled their eyes.
"And here we go," Gwen said to Bridgette. "Chris is going to go through the whole deal about trophies, losing, build up suspense, and then do it, all the while complaining whenever we talk."
"Yeah, it's typical," Bridgette said, shrugging. She kept glancing at Geoff, which Gwen noticed and felt a little guilty.
"Oh… yeah, I should have picked your boyfriend, I'm sorry," she said. "I just… I haven't seen him around so much, I forgot… wait that sounds bad."
"But about right," Bridgette said. "Look at him now, he doesn't seem worried. He just seems… upset."
"What's up with him?" Gwen asked. "I mean, he's been avoiding you, he isn't his nice and cheerful self. I'm starting to get worried."
"Welcome to my world. I'd do anything to have him drive up with a smile like your boyfriend did."
"… And if you don't receive a trophy," Chris was saying, "you are out of the game! Forever! You're gone, gone gone, bang a gong! Haha! Who's worried?"
Courtney groaned and looked over at who she was sitting next to: Sadie. "Does he ever tire of this?" she mumbled. "Seriously, I just want to go to bed, I've had a long day."
"Did you and Katie argue a lot?" Sadie asked.
"No, we had a long talk, I told her that I was just so frustrated about losing that I unintentionally set the blame on her, and I was apolo… hey, wait, didn't you two talk in the confessional for about two hours?"
"Yes."
"And she didn't tell you any of this?"
"We were busy talking about other things, sorry."
As Courtney tried to wrap her mind around this, Chef Hatchet started to hand out trophies to all those immune. Eventually, it came down to the nine up for votes. They all glanced around, some sulking, some anxious.
"And here we go," Chris Maclean announced. "I can hear the pulses racing as I start to announce who isn't leaving tonight! Starting with…
…
…
…
"Yoshi!" The warrior caught his trophy, and considered keeping it as one of the few he hadn't destroyed.
"Mandy!" The cultist caught hers, clutching it and chuckling happily.
"Lindsay!" The blonde let out a cry of delight and hugged both Tyler and Beth.
"Valerie!" The politician cheered and raised hers high in the air.
"And Arthur!" The loner let out a groan as he caught his and hung his head in annoyance.
"Now we got the final four," Chris said, wiggling one of the three remaining trophies. "Who's not getting one? Hmm? Hmm? Well, I'll tell you who did get one right away then! Ezekiel and Geoff!"
Both boys caught theirs, and let out sighs of relief, but Ezekiel was smiling as Geoff glanced off to the side. Meanwhile, Beth was hugging Justin, who hugged her back, while Clive sat and stared forward indifferently.
"And now there's only two, and one trophy," the host said, chuckling. "Who's getting it? Hmm? Hmm? Hmm-"
"Just give it to Beth already," Clive shouted impatiently. "I want to leave, the sooner the better."
"Calm down, emo boy," Chris scolded him. "It might be you who gets it."
"Can't you just give it to her either way? I don't mind."
"Nope, and quit kill the suspense, it'll ruin the moment when you have to go!"
"So I did lose?"
"Not saying that for now, now let me finish or I'll force you to stay!"
"That's not fair," Justin shouted.
"Oh stop your emo'ing! The final trophy is going to…"
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
…
"The emo!"
Clive let out an exasperated grunt and hung his head, which led him to miss seeing the trophy come at him and hit him in the noggin. With a whimper, he fell out of his chair. "Figures," he muttered on the floor.
Beth slumped in her seat, and Justin was protesting vehemently. "No no no, c'mon, man," he said, "the emo wants to go, just let him!"
"No, I won't have him sacrificing himself because he hates it here," Chris said, "and besides, we'd lose all the hilarity of him being emo around here!"
"Nice," grumbled Beth. She sighed and kissed Justin, then started walking to the departure zone. "Can I please say good-bye to my friends?"
"Haha, nope! I won't have this sappy, gooey nonsense hogging our time!"
"But the bus isn't even here yet!"
Chris looked over to where the bus should have been, and groaned. "Okay, fine! Say good-bye to your friends, Beth, but I'm editing it out when it goes to air!"
"I don't care, douche bag," she replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.
Beth then went to all her friends to say good-bye: Lindsay, Cody, Harold, Leshawna, her roommates, and Ezekiel. The prairie boy added, "Soo'ry our plan didn't work."
"Yeah, but you know, such is life," she said, managing a smile. When she started walking back to the departure area, Clive had managed to sit up.
"Oh, my frigging head," he moaned, rubbing the top of his noggin. "That really hurt."
Beth, overcome with emotion, hugged him. "Sorry you didn't get to leave like you wanted," she blubbered.
"Sorry you didn't get to stay like you wanted," he replied, patting her back.
"Do me a favor, okay? Just… try, all right? I think you really should, you might do well."
When she went back to Justin, both whispering sweet nothings and making him promise to do his best from here on, the bus finally arrived. "Sorry I'm late, we had a bit of engine trouble, and had to take it to a mechanic."
Beth shrugged and stepped onto the bus, waving good-bye to everyone. "Good-bye everyone! I had fun! I'll see you again soon, won't I?"
"Good question, Beth," Chris Maclean declared, "you get a cookie!"
He threw a cookie at her, and the audience gave her one last chair. Chris chuckled and said, "Well, little Beth, something tells me you'll see them all again soon. Now, see you later!"
Beth walked on the bus, the doors closed, and it pulled away. Justin let out a heavy sigh as he watched the bus goes. "Man, I don't know why people would vote for her… I should become sour like Noah."
"No, don't do that," Noah said to him. "I was a real jerkass, you don't want to look like that, Anti-Me."
Justin sighed, and muttered, "Thanks, Egghead."
(Janitor's Closet - Oh! Maybe it's the spirit of a proud commentator!)
Justin - *heavy sigh* "Man, I really thought she was under the radar! I'm really going to miss her… someone once told me you don't know what you'll miss until its gone, and I thought that meant my looks or something. Well, I know now it's Beth, and right now, I'd have an ugly day… no, an ugly week, to have her back."
Courtney - "I don't get it! Why Beth? She's one of the few people I actually don't mind! I still feel a little guilty what happened to her last season… man, that talk with Katie sure has killed my competition drive… gimme a couple days."
Bridgette - *looking very glum* "Today has just been one depressing day, and now I lost one of my roommates, the nicest one. I just want today to be over, and get over this."
Colin - *He is spray painting something foul on the wall.* "Ha! Look at this! I cannot wait to see who is offended by this first!"
*Chef Hatchet walks in, and roars in outrage. Colin whimpers and tries to escape, but Chef grabs him and starts ordering him to clean up after himself, or else.*
(Room 2 - Bridgette, Carol, Clive.)
"Well, I feel good," Carol exclaimed, flexing before leaping into bed. "I got my mojo back, I had a fine day!"
"Good for you," Clive grumbled.
"You still bitter? Man, emo boy, one day you'll get your mojo back."
"I never had mojo to begin with."
"I command thee to lighten up! With Beth gone, this place is gonna be so gloomy if you don't cheer up some!"
"What about Bridgette?"
"Man, I thought she'd be cheerful, but she's down in the dumps of late. She's out with friends or something right now, so smile and heighten cheer."
"I don't feel like being cheerful under false pretenses-"
"SMILE, DAMN IT!"
She was over to Clive's bed in a second, trying to force Clive to smile by tickling at first, then trying to force a smile by her own hands. Needless to say, Clive did not enjoy this.
(Maclean Stadium, Cafeteria.)
Bridgette sighed as she sipped her glass of milk, trying to ponder over recent events. She was so lost in thought that she didn't hear someone else enter. Gwen, also dressed in her nightwear, entered the cafeteria. Seeing her friend, she walked over and sat down next to the surfer girl.
"Still upset?" Gwen asked.
"Yep. I cannot help it, I want to see Geoff again. Can you talk to him, you're his roommate."
"I don't know where he is, he hasn't been in our room for some time now."
Bridgette groaned and shook her head. After a couple minutes of quiet, she looked over at Gwen and said, "You're in a good mood now, that visit from Trent really help?"
"It was exactly what I needed. Trent's just so nice to be around, he calms me down during my worst."
"Yeah, he is," she agreed. "Gwen, can I ask you something?"
"Of course, shoot."
"Do you think I'm too close to Harold?"
"What? Where does that come from?"
"Nothing, never mind," she replied, shaking her head. "I'm talking crazy, I just miss Geoff."
(Room 7 - Noah, Justin.)
Right outside the room, Noah was talking to Rodney. "Look, I just want to say I'm sorry for last night. It was totally uncalled for, you wouldn't have rallied to get my girlfriend voted off."
"It's okay," Rodney said cheerfully. "I just am so happy you're okay."
"Yeah well… thanks, kid."
"Can I ask you something?" the prodigy asked before Noah could head into his room.
"What's that?"
"When you started dating Katie, how did you ask her out?"
"Um, I didn't, she came to me."
"Oh… but should I wait or go after a girl myself?"
"What, you got a cute prodigy back home?"
Rodney giggled and blushed. "No, it's… one of the girls here."
"What… but," Noah started to say, but he was too tired to argue this, so he just sighed. "Okay, well, yeah, go at her would be my suggestion. How long has this been going on?"
The prodigy bobbed on his feet, giggling more. "Oh, I've been admiring her from afar, but she's so busy, I have to wait to get a word with her. I think tomorrow, I'll approach her."
"Heh, I'd love to see that. See you tomorrow, and good luck!"
Noah waved as he went into his room and Rodney strolled off. The egghead started to head for his bed when he saw someone new in the top bunk.
"Hey, Noah dude," Geoff said, waving from up there.
"Um, hey 'Geoff dude,'" Noah replied. "What are you doing here?"
"The guy said he needed to crash here," Justin said to Noah.
"I gotta get away from my room, Noah dude," Geoff sputtered, sitting up and fiddling nervously, "my roommates are, like, best friends with Bridgette, and they want to ask me all these questions that I cannot cope with right now."
"Just like how I cannot cope with all this right now," Noah grumbled as he went over to his bed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I was nearly eaten alive by a very realistic looking, giant centipede, so I want to burn through that nightmare fuel as fast as possible."
(Duncan's Bus of Losers)
Beth nibbled on her cookie half-heartedly, staring out the window. Most of those voted off gave their condolences, but what surprised her most when Duncan stopped by her.
"Hey," he said, "sorry you got voted off there."
"Yeah, me too. I really thought I had a shot, considering how far I made it last season."
"Hey, I know that is, I sure thought that I would do better."
"Heh, maybe we would have been finalists together!"
Duncan laughed and shook his head. "You and me, finalists? That's crazy, cannot see that happening."
Beth shrugged, and nibbled her cookie, then broke off part and gave it to Duncan. "Here's to the ones we're dating having better luck than us."
"Amen."
(Voting Confessionals)
Valerie - "Of course it was necessary to get rid of Beth, because she's just so expendable. Do you really think she, of all people could get anywhere? Please, it's Beth! Now I've got total control of another person, someone who would never be of use to me is gone, and another happy couple separated to distract people! I just love how well this is doing, it makes me so excited!"
Arthur - *He is frowning bitterly, and only mutters, "Beth" before he storms out of the confessional.*
Ezekiel - "Beth and I discussed it, and we decided on Clive. I just hope that guy takes it well… I wish I knoo' why he signed up fur this in the first place, eh."
Geoff - "Man, I just got railroaded into another voting! I gotta vote for Beth, and she's Bridgette's roommate! This sucks… how can I show my face in front of the others now?"
Mandy - "I still have my suspicions on Geoff, and he might be a Chuck Norris cultist! I gotta vote for him!"
Lindsay - "Okay, I heard that 'Ezekiel' guy is still here! I was told he was a real pervert after the boat competition, so I'm going to, like, vote for him! I'm sure this is right, because my memory is, like, really good!"
Yoshi - "I'm going to vote for Clive, mostly because he doesn't even try. I don't hate the guy, but this needs to be done so I don't get partnered with him again."
Clive - "I don't care what I was told, I'm going to vote for myself! I don't want to vote off Beth when I can go-"
*He is interrupted when Chris Maclean barges in. The host makes it clear that he is not allowed to vote himself off, and then leaves.* "Humph, fine. If I cannot commit elimination seppuku, I'll just have to vote for Beth like I was told. And this here, this is why I don't bother trying. Stupid railroad that is life."
Beth - "I know it sounds mean, but I think we should vote off Clive. I mean, he's so depressive, and he doesn't try that hard. Plus, he wants to go! I just hope, one way or another, he gets the cheering up he needs, like a new puppy… or a piggy! Who wouldn't want a new piggy?" *She laughs and then snorts.*
…
…
…
Votes:
Arthur - Beth.
Beth - Clive.
Clive - Beth.
Ezekiel - Clive.
Geoff - Beth.
Lindsay - Ezekiel.
Mandy - Geoff.
Valerie - Beth.
Yoshi - Clive.
…
Beth - 4.
Clive - 3.
Ezekiel - 1.
Geoff - 1.
…
Voted Off - Sandra, Duncan, Jasmine, Daisy, Owen, Trent, Hannah, Howard, Joel, Katie, Beth.
…
Janitor Closet's Decorations to Date - Cleaned out, just like in Chef Hatchet's day.
…
Next Up - Zeppelin rules!