Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of Total Drama. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TD contains stunts performed by written teens. As the author writes this, remember that he's sacrificing his free time for this, and free time is expensive to sacrifice these days, almost as pricey as gasoline.

The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - The last Harry Potter novel (Deathly Hollows) is just under two hundred thousand words; longest is Order of the Phoenix, which is about 250K words. TDC and TDB are both twice the length of the last HP novel, and TDB is not even half done; with this chapter (which is over twenty-thousand words), Total Drama Battlegrounds is approximately one-fourth done, progress-wise.

I do it all for you, my readers, friends and/or fellow lunatics. I carry on, in spite of the fact that the show has already broken my heart with its careless decisions. *sniff* Pardon if I sound like a whiny fan boy, but I do have other, more profitable projects to work on. It's mostly because there is now a Wiki of TDC/TDB up now (link in my profile), that I feel the urge to continue this for you all; your generosity and encouragement for my work is like a dominating influence.

And new poll, as always! Please vote, your opinion matters!

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Chapter 42 - Lady and the Blimp (Also, How Many Roads Must a Man Walk Down?)

…

…

…

(Maclean Stadium, Arena.)

Chris Maclean drummed his fingers together and chuckled. "Soon, soon Alejandro will sway Bridgette to be unfaithful, and then the drama will begin! It really is nice to have someone who can play the game."

Groucho the Duck took a long drag from his bubblegum cigar, and muttered, "You and I have different definitions of that, for sure."

"I mean, seriously," Chris continued to say to Chef, ignoring the militant duck, "what could be more important than drama? What's better than cheating lovers and uncertain relationships? There is nothing greater than that!"

The duck scoffed and walked away, while Chef raised an eyebrow. Obviously, there was some dissent among the ranks, but in different flavors.

(Team 1 (Dirigible) - Anita (L), Zachary, DJ, Rodney, Clive, Belinda. (Clues: A, Arr, and three blanks. Two guesses left.))

"Another blank?" Zachary exclaimed. "Are you kidding me?"

"All we have is an A and an Arr," Anita said as she looked at the clues, "and now three blanks. You think this is to make sure we have to do all of the challenges?"

"Without a doubt," DJ commented. "So, what's our next challenge?"

Anita shuffled through the papers, and read the new challenge out loud. "The sixth challenge is a Slap Fest. The iPud has a running microphone, and will pick up the sounds of a slap. What we want is a very loud, clear slap, and we have it programmed so that clapping will not work. So go on! Slap your teammates!"

The six looked at each other. Rodney immediately tightened his helmet and whimpered, Belinda fiddled with her cat tail, and Anita began staring down Zachary. When he saw she was looking at him, he shouted, "Oh no, don't you dare! If you slap me, I will so call you out on your-"

"Yeah yeah, racism and all that," Anita grumbled. "I swear, you've groped me more than anyone I know, even the perverts back at school. You deserve it more than anyone I know."

"Please don't slap me instead," Rodney requested, looking pitifully up at Anita. She immediately went to comfort him and tell him there was absolutely no way she'd slap him when Clive stepped up.

"You can slap me," he said. "After all, I don't care about pain or humiliation. Do it as many times as you want."

"Now that's just silly," Belinda scolded him. "We don't want to slap you."

"I'll do it," Zachary exclaimed, and had to be restrained by DJ.

"Thanks, hon," Anita said to the gentle teen holding back the not-so-gentle other teen. "Well, we're not going to slap you either, Clive. So what do we do?"

Belinda chuckled and brushed Anita's face with her tail. "You can slap me, I've been a bad kitty; I shredded the drapes and ruined part of the couch."

"Belinda, I don't think any of us could work up the will to slap you."

"I could give you a good reason."

"What possible reason could," Anita started to say, and then something clicked in her from how Belinda was slyly grinning at her. With a sigh of defeat, she muttered, "Go ahead."

Belinda reached forward and squeezed one of Anita's breasts. Anita, almost instinctively, shouted, "Eeek!" and slapped Belinda across the face. A successful dinging came from the iPud, a sign they had won.

"I am so sorry," Anita was saying over and over to Belinda, who gently rubbed the red mark on her face. "I really didn't mean to slap you that hard!"

"Oh, I'll live," Belinda said with a smile. "Stop apologizing, we won."

"Miss Belinda," Rodney asked, looking up at her. "When guys do something forward like that, I always hear them say 'it was worth it' afterwards. Is that true?"

"Well, do you want to be slapped?"

"No no no no!"

"Then there's your answer, pumpkin."

(Janitor's Closet - I'd slap that.)

Zachary - "Valerie once suggested that I try to win over Anita so she'll vote with us too. While she's certainly much better looking than Sadie, she's such an ice queen. All I want to do is grope her, is that so bad?"

Belinda - *sniffs around like a kitty* "Meow… smell that? That's chauvinism in the air."

Anita - "At school, boys are always trying to grope me or slap my bra, and it got so bad at one point that I was paranoid. At one point, I slapped the janitor when he poked my shoulder to warn me about a wet floor. Luckily, he's such a nice man and accepted my apology."

Zachary, finally let go by DJ, went over to iPud and looked at the new clue printed out. "You gotta be *censored* me!"

"Let me guess," Belinda said, "another blank?"

"I don't get it, four blanks?" Anita said. "So we only get three clues?"

"This is crazy," Rodney exclaimed. "I mean, I think I know who it is, but I don't want to dare try when we only have two guesses."

Anita was busy reading the next challenge. "Your final challenge is the Kiss Fest. We want to see some kissing, and remember, we have cameras, so we want some good, long kisses, about five seconds long. We want four kisses between four different couples, so get going with the smooching if you want the last clue."

The bombshell gal frowned as she threw the paper away. "First slapping and now kissing, this is absurd. Chris really wants all kinds of unnecessary drama, doesn't he? It's almost like he wants couples to have trouble…"

"Pucker up, Anita," Zachary exclaimed as he walked over to her. "We have a clue to get."

"Oh, now you want to contribute, of course," she shot back as she stepped away, nearby DJ. "No way! I'm not kissing you, you cad!"

"C'mon, baby, you know you wanna."

"I know I don't wanna!"

"Come get some!"

"Don't want some!"

As they argued, DJ was busy psyching himself up. "C'mon man," he thought to himself, "you gotta do this, for the challenge! Everyone thinks you're a big wuss, but you have heart and bravery! If you kiss a girl here, you'll prove them all wrong! Do it… do it… do it! Do it! Do it NOW!"

DJ whirled around to where Anita was standing, scooped her up in his arms, and kissed her. The only slight difference between that last sentence and reality is that she had moved and someone else was standing next to DJ.

"Mmmph," Clive squeaked out as DJ kissed him. After about five seconds, the gentle giant opened his eyes and then pulled away with a startled cry. Both boys looked quite startled by this.

"Um… sorry?" DJ whimpered.

"It's okay," Clive replied. "I'll live… could have been worse."

Zachary made gagging noises and both girls giggled, while Rodney just looked confused. After DJ and Clive managed to compose themselves (but not be able to look at each other), Zachary turned to Anita. "Okay, sweet cheeks, your turn with me."

"I cannot believe you'd call me that and expect me to comply," she growled back at him. "I'm not kissing you, got that?"

"Oh, I see how it is," Zachary shouted back, now mad too. "You won't kiss me because you're racist!"

"I am not racist, you're just a jerk."

"Racist! Racist ice queen, you hate brothers!"

"I'm so sick of you!"

Anita shoved Zachary, causing him to fall down on his butt. She pointed at him and declared, "I will never kiss you, got that? But you know who I will kiss?"

She marched over to DJ, who was still wiping his mouth with his hand, and cupped his face. She pulled him in for a long, sweet kiss before pulling back, her eyes fluttering slightly. "I only kiss," she said, her voice softer now, "nice guys."

"Wow," Belinda remarked, "wagging" her tail. "That was sweet. Here, allow me to contribute."

The clairvoyant wrapped her arms around Clive, who was completely not suspecting it, and she leaned in to kiss him. His eyes widened about as much as when DJ kissed him, but he wasn't squirming to get away from her. When she gently pulled back, she simply smiled at him and whispered, "Try kissing back next time, girls like that."

"That's three…," Anita said, counting on her fingers.

"Okay then, we need one more…," Belinda replied.

"I'm on it!"

Anita went over to Clive, and Belinda went over to DJ. Both girls seized the boys in their arms and kissed them full on the lips. After the kisses were over, the success bell on the iPud went off. The girls cheered while the boys were too distracted.

"This sucks so bad," Zachary, sitting on the floor, grumbled. "What a total and utter gyp."

"Oh, what are you so mad about?" Rodney responded, frowning at him. "I didn't get kissed either."

(Janitor's Closet - Feeling the love?)

Belinda - "Oh, I knew that Anita was going to kiss Clive; I just wanted an excuse to kiss DJ. What can I say, I like rewarding nice boys, especially when there's a mean boy being mean, and I'll know he'll hate it."

Rodney - "I got to kiss Gil a couple times. I really liked it… truth be told, I don't know if I'm good at it, though. How do you tell if you are? No books I've read have told me such things…"

…

DJ and Clive - *Both have big smiles.* DJ - "Gotta say, seeing you smile is a real nice change…"

Clive - "Well, it's not every two nice girls like that kiss you."

DJ - "See, dude? That's why you shouldn't be so emo, there's lots to be happy about in life!"

Clive - "I don't know, dude. Probably tomorrow, I'll be depressed again. Though I have to admit, this sure has made me happy…"

DJ - "Then I shall go the length to make you happy more, dude!"

Clive - "You're… not going to kiss me again, are you?"

DJ - "Nope! I have something nicer!" *He holds up Bunny and almost presses the cute rabbit in Clive's face.* "See how cute Bunny is? Feel the cuteness, feel the love!"

"Okay, here's the final clue," Anita said, a little breathless.

"Tell us what it says then," Zachary, picking himself up, said.

"Why."

"Because we want to know the clue."

"Why!"

"You stupid bimbo, we have a challenge to finish-"

"The clue is 'Why,' jerk," Anita shouted back. "W-H-Y, Why!"

"All we have then are A, Arr, and Why," DJ, finding his voice again, listed. "So what does that mean?"

"Rodney and I know," Belinda said. "It's very obvious."

"What is it?" Clive said.

"Zachary. The last letters of his name are A-R-Y. See the connection? We caught on by Arr, but didn't want to guess just yet."

As the others contemplated this, Zachary was furious. "You're accusing me of murder?" he shouted. "How dare you! That's racist, because of course, only I could be the murderer! Racists!"

Belinda simply bat her eyes at him. "So because you're black, you cannot possibly be guilty of a fake murder? Who do you think it is?"

"It's not me, you pack of racists!"

"Then who? Maybe DJ?"

"Of course!"

Zachary stomped past them and entered DJ into the iPud's suspect list. As the Wrong Song played, Zachary crossed his arms in defiance. "That'll teach you all," he declared, "for saying a black man did it!"

DJ walked over and shoved Zachary out of the way. Earning smiles of appreciation from the others, he entered Zachary into the iPud's suspect list. After getting a warning it was their last guess, DJ continued and made his decision official.

Confetti fell from the ceiling, as well as balloons, and celebrating music played loudly. Anita screamed in panic as the balloons bounced around, until Belinda opened the window again, and all of the evil, helium-inflated orbs were sucked out of the blimp. The bombshell panted in relief, and approached Belinda.

"Oh thank you," she said. "You're so smart… thank you!"

She suddenly kissed Belinda on the mouth, but only for a couple seconds. She released her and then squeaked, "Oh, sorry! Just… so happy we won… and saved… I'm sorry!"

"I didn't mind."

"We didn't either," Zachary remarked. "But where's my kiss?"

(Team 2 (Zeppelin) - Tyler (L), Courtney, Ezekiel, Colin, Leshawna, Noah. (Clues: N, C, and three -.))

"It's a C," Courtney said, as she looked at the clue. "That makes it Colin and myself, but I'm not sure about the minuses."

"Probably you," Colin remarked. "You're definitely capable of murder."

"Oh, and you're not?"

"I could think of a few people on this blimp I'd love to kill, yeah."

Leshawna stormed over to him. "That was completely uncalled for, you lousy-"

"Quiet, guys," Noah said as he took the paper on Slap Fest out. "Look, the next challenge is here, we need to get this done!"

When he read the rules to the Slap Fest challenge, Leshawna and Courtney exchanged glances, then grinned wickedly. Courtney seized Colin from behind and held his arms back as Leshawna slapped him across the face. When the victory bell did not go off, Leshawna shrugged and continued to slap him.

"OW! You -*slap!*- stop -*slap!*- not -*slap!*- fair -*slap!*- I'll -*slap!*- tell -*slap!*- on -*slap!*- you!"

"Harder," Ezekiel declared, "he can still talk, eh!"

After about a minute of more slapping, Colin was unconscious. Courtney and Leshawna congratulated each other for completing the challenge, while Noah pointed out the victory bell had gone off over half a minute ago. When the next clue and the rules for the final challenge were printed, he fetched them.

"Okay, our clue is a Y… the letter, not the word. And our new challenge is," he read the rules for Kiss Fest, a frown spreading across his face. When he finished reading it all, he groaned and added, "Figures. On a team of people all taken except for the most loathsome of all contestants, he wants us to kiss."

"Kishsh?" Tyler slurped, looking excited in his dazed state. "I've done that before, heehee!"

"Ayup yep, you have, Tyler," Ezekiel assured him.

"Hey, you and I have kishshed, remember?" Tyler said, grinning stupidly. "Remember, huh? Remember?"

"I remember that too, eh."

"Gueshsh that meansh we have to do it again, heehee!"

Before Ezekiel could react to this comment, his best friend wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in to kiss. Ezekiel let out a squeak as it happened, then another when Tyler finally released him. The jock giggled and tried again, but Ezekiel said, "No no, one is good enough, eh."

"My girlfriend ish shtill a better kishsher than you, Shekey."

"I'm very happy to knoo' that, eh."

Noah raised an eyebrow at this while both Leshawna and Courtney were trying very hard not to laugh. "So," he said, "that's one kiss. Who else is going to kiss?"

Leshawna took a quick look around, and concluded, "Well, Colin's unconscious, and Tyler is… oh, he's asleep now, that makes things easier. Simple conclusion, if we're going to do this, Noah has to kiss both us girls, and then Ezekiel will have to."

"Katie's going to kill me," Noah muttered.

"Heather'll kill me more," Ezekiel protested.

"Duncan will kill me too," Courtney said.

"Oh I doubt that," Noah said, "you definitely would be the one killing him, as far as I see."

"Shut up!"

"Let's get this over with, then," Leshawna said. "Harold wouldn't kill me, but I just know Chris will show this to everyone."

She walked up to Noah and the two grudgingly kissed. About a couple seconds in, both felt really uncomfortable, and had to wait three more seconds before pulling away. "Oh man," she exclaimed as she spat and cough, "that was like kissing my little brother."

"That was like kissing my older sister," Noah responded, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "Oh, mental scarring, why must you brand my brain so often on this show?"

"Charming," Courtney said, glaring at Noah. "Now your mouth is going to taste like that sweater vest of yours."

"I wash it all the time, stop complaining."

"You are the complainer!"

"Seriously, this coming from you? I wonder sometimes if CIT stands for Critic In Training-"

"Will you two stop," Leshawna shouted, "and suck face already? Sheesh, quit being such babies about it!"

Noah and Courtney rolled their eyes. Eventually, after moving inches very slowly as if swimming through molasses, they managed to get close enough to kiss. Leshawna grumbled how it had to be for five seconds, making them both wince, pull each other close, and kiss. After five seconds, they parted and groaned.

"Well, that was the longest five seconds of my life," Noah said.

"I can taste the complaining," Courtney responded. "So, is that it?"

"We got one more pairing to do, that was three," Leshawna pointed out. "Since Noah's kissed us both, I guess that leaves Ezekiel."

Ezekiel looked surprised, and then shrugged. "Um, sure, eh. But with who?"

"I'll do it," Courtney said. "Just… why don't the rest of you leave? I don't want an audience for this."

"Complainer," Noah added.

"Oh, shut up!"

Leshawna and Noah, dragging unconscious Colin and gurgling-in-his-sleep Tyler, left Courtney and Ezekiel alone. The prairie boy stared at her, confused. "Look, I knoo' this is strictly fur the contest, but-"

She put a finger to his lips, shushing him and looking around to make sure no one was spying. Ezekiel was starting to worry she was being rather paranoid, until she whispered to him. "Look, don't tell anyone," she spoke in such a hushed tone that it was hard for him to hear her, but she was determined not to let the cameras hear her, "don't tell anyone this, especially Duncan!"

"Boot it's going to be on camera, eh. He'll knoo'-"

"No no no," she hissed, waving her hands around. Ezekiel was concerned that she was losing it, then she held his shoulders. "I wanted to do this," she whispered, her voice extremely quiet again, "as… um, a way of saying thank you for what you did for me last season. If you hadn't, I would have lost everything."

She leaned in and kissed him, surprising Ezekiel with how much passion she put into it. When it was over, she parted and muttered, "So, um, yeah. Thanks and all that."

"Yoo'r… yoo'r welcome, eh."

(Janitor's Closet - Slap slap kiss!)

Ezekiel - "I'll never fully understand girls, eh; guess there will always be something new to learn."

Courtney - *She pouts and looks away.* "No, that was not to get revenge on Duncan for things like hanging out with Gwen and telling the world what we've done in private and never calling me during the breaks in-between seasons. Don't judge me!"

Tyler - *rubbing his head where the bandages are* "Did I do something embarrassing on that blimp ride that I'm gonna regret?"

When Noah and Leshawna came back, they looked at the final clue, which was rather surprising.

"It says 'HATE' and that's it," Noah remarked. "It's official then! Chris hates us."

"Feeling is mutual, jerk," Leshawna said to a camera, then looked at her teammates. "So what do we have? C, Y, N, hate, and three dashes."

The four conscious teammates pondered this for a while, then Noah snapped his fingers. "I think I got it!"

He lined up the papers so that it read out "-C," "-Y," and "-N." "You see, the clues are to point out which letters aren't in the name!"

"I see," Courtney remarked. "And the HATE is to assure us it was someone who Chris hates. Or someone who hated him… but I guess if you murdered him, you would hate him."

"Which name doesn't have a C, Y, or N?" Ezekiel asked. He thought for a second, and then said, rather embarrassed, "Oh. Me, eh."

"That's all then," Leshawna said. "Ezekiel is our murderer!"

When they entered the code, the victory music played as confetti and balloons rained from the ceiling. Noah juggled a balloon in his hand, and said, "Elementary, my dear Maclean."

(Janitor's Closet - The case is solved!)

Noah - "Gotta admit, I always wanted to say that."

Colin - "Some people just cannot take criticism, you know? If you call someone a fat skank, they act like it's personal. I don't mean anything by it, I just am criticizing them. I'm not the problem, they're the problem!"

(Team 3 (Blimp) - Xander (L), Geoff, Izzy, Arthur, Lindsay, Sakaki. (Clues: A, zzy, x2, ot, and "N I." One guesses left.))

"So our clue is 'ot'," said Arthur as he looked at the paper. "Which… doesn't make a lot of sense."

"I think I know," Sakaki said. Very shyly, she took the clues from him and laid them out on the table. After a little bit of folding and condensing, she used "ot," "zzy," and "N I" to spell out, "Not Izzy."

"Well, that makes a lot of sense," Xander said. "Good work, cutie."

"C-cute?" Sakaki squeaked, then fainted and had to be caught by Lindsay. The blonde looked confused as she held up the moe.

"So, um, if not Rizzy, then who is it?" she asked.

"Someone with the letter A and a x2 in their name, if that's any help," Arthur commented.

Izzy giggled from behind Geoff. "See? I told you I wasn't a murderer. Today I am a lover!" "Izzy, please get off me," he whined.

"I just said I was a lover-"

"And that's why I want you to get off, I have a girlfriend!"

"If you all will stop talking," Arthur said, loud enough to get their attention, "the next challenge's rules are here! Let's get cracking!"

He read the rules of Slap Fest, and everyone looked rather concerned at the fact that there would have to be slapping to win. Nervously, they all glanced at Izzy in unison, to which she laughed and said, "Didn't you hear what I just said? I am a lover today, not a fighter."

"Then we're going to need someone to slap, and someone to be slapped," Xander said. "I nominate myself for neither."

"Oh hell, I'll be slapped," Arthur said. "Anything for the team."

"But none of us really want to slap," Izzy commented. "How are you going to provoke us?"

Arthur walked up to her, and said, "Izzy, you have nice breasts."

"Daw, how cute," she replied, and pat his cheek.

"Obviously not going to work here," Arthur said, then walked over to Lindsay. "Lindsay, you have beautiful breasts."

"You think so?" she said, then beamed at him and giggled. "Aw, thank you!"

"Still not working," Arthur grumbled, then he glanced at Sakaki, who was recovering from her slight faint. He strut over and said, "Hello, Sakaki. You have-"

"EEEK," she replied, swinging her hands around wildly and slapping him across the face in her horror. "Don't look at me, don't call me cute! I'm not cute, eeeeeeek!"

(Janitor's Closet - A difficult life, the one who gets slapped.)

Arthur - *He still looks a little messed up from the blimp ride.* "Yeah, when all else fails, rile the moe. That might be a phrase somewhere, and if not, I call copyrights!"

Sakaki - *nervously tapping her fingers together* "The thing is… well I… I don't… not sure if… kind of… ummm… " *… and so on and so forth*

Lindsay - "I do have beautiful breasts, don't I? I get told that a lot, it's the nicest compliment. Though I do put more energy into making my hair nice, don't get complimented as much about it as much as I'd like."

"Well, that takes care of that," Arthur said as he straightened his clothing, trying to look dignified after being moe-slapped. "What's the clue and the next challenge?"

Lindsay was looking at the paper, biting her lip in confusion. "I think it's a Greek symbol," she said. "Or maybe one of those Roman numerals, they never made sense to me."

Sakaki turned the paper right side up, and Lindsay gasped. "Oh! It's a K!"

"So what we have is K and A," Xander said. "Well, the only person here like that is Sakaki… but could she be a murderer?"

The moe squeaked and blushed dark red. "N-n-n-n-n-n-no!"

"I think it is, but we have to carry on," Arthur said. "After all, we're done to one guess thanks to Geoff, and we already had a bum lead in our clues."

"Okay," Lindsay said cheerfully, and then read the rules of Kiss Fest to everyone. While everyone looked more and more surprised by this, she just looked confused. "Um, okay, kissing? But where's Tyler?"

"This is what I was hoping for," Izzy cheered. "This challenge is for me! I'll start with Geoff!"

"What? No," Geoff wailed, and started to run before Izzy pounced on him. "No way, I have girlfriend! No no-"

"Man, shut up and let her kiss you," Xander shouted. "It's not the end of the world."

"You've already caused this team a lot of trouble," Arthur added. "So don't start with more drama!"

Geoff let out a whimpering sigh of defeat, and allowed Izzy to climb all over him, then cup his face and kiss him a good one. After she was finished, she cheered and shouted, "That's one! Now for you, handsome scars!"

She jumped on Xander, wrapping her legs around his torso before kissing him deeply. When she finished, she counted off, "Two," and then pushed off him and headed for Arthur. She knocked him down with her glomp, and snogged him on the floor. When snogging was done, she sat up and cheered, "Three! Who else? I cannot kiss myself, you know!"

She looked around and saw Lindsay and Sakaki. "Oh, just girls left? No problem!"

Both girls shouted, "Eeek," and ran in opposite directions to get away from the kissing crazy girl. Izzy chased after Sakaki while Lindsay accidentally ran into Xander. "Ooof," she grunted, then looked up at him. "Oh, you're not Tyler."

Izzy had caught up with Sakaki and was now kissing the squirming moe girl. When she was done, she leaned Sakaki over and pumped her fist in the air, shouting, "Hail the cat girl queen, baby!"

"Well done, Lizzy," Lindsay shouted, clapping excitedly. "We finished the challenge!"

"I know, right? Victory kiss!"

Lindsay blinked as Izzy walked toward her, and let out a terrified, "EEEEK-" when Izzy pounced, and was silenced by the redhead's lips.

(Janitor's Closet - Methinks Izzy enjoyed that challenge a mite too much.)

Sakaki - *still ruffled up* "I… really don't think I like being on the same team as Izzy. She is rather… intimidating…"

Lindsay - *She licks her lips and looks at the camera, worried.* "Um, yeah, Bizzy is not bad as a kisser… but I have a boyfriend, and I'm a girl, and she's a cat, and I don't know why she used tongue; that's for CPR! Silly Bizzy!"

Izzy - *is wearing sunglasses and giving the camera a pouting look* "Who's hot? I'm hot. I'm so hot… and I'm talented! Wanna see me put my leg behind my head?"

"Okay, that was hot and all," Arthur said, "but I think it's time we look at the final clue."

"Izzy's lips are almost numb from all that," Izzy admitted.

"That's hot and all, but our final clue is… S&I? Sounds like a clothing store."

"Ooo, do they have a sale going?" Lindsay asked. "I could do with a new shawl, shawls are coming back into style. Wait…"

The blonde took all the clues and laid them out on a table. "Ooo, it's like a puzzle! I love puzzles!"

"Lindsay, are you sure you can solve this?" Geoff asked.

"Of course I can. See, look!"

She was done arranging the papers, and then pointed out in them, "Look look! See? You have S&I, then the x2 next to the A and K. Then you have the name of my friend here, Sa-kack-eye! Sa-kack-eye is our murderer!"

Sa-kack-eye whimpered at being called this, and then fainted again, Lindsay catching her again. "Oh don't worry so much," Lindsay cooed, holding her friend. "I'm sure they'll give you a light sentence and all that."

"Sakaki is the murderer then," Geoff exclaimed, and bolted for the iPud. Before anyone could stop him, he entered it, and the victory music played. Confetti and balloons rained down on them, and Arthur gave Geoff a stern look.

"Dude, seriously. You were lucky you were right that time."

(Team 4 (Airship) - Harold (L), Bridgette, Justin, Valerie, Heather, Alejandro. (Clues: R, I, D, L, E.))

"I wonder if this someone's last name or a profession," Harold said as he looked at the E. "No one has all the letters we have in their name."

"Does Chris even pay attention to our last names?" Heather asked. "Seems to me he's more concerned with his hair than our well-being, why would he care about details that don't involve him?"

"Good point, chica," Alejandro said.

"Oh, shut up!"

"Hey, why are you being so mean to him?" Bridgette said to Heather. "He's been nothing but nice since this challenge started, and you've been nothing but awful since this trip started."

"I haven't said anything awful about you!"

"You've been arguing nonstop with Valerie!"

"Well, she starts it, the pink-wearing cow!"

Valerie scoffed. "I most certainly do not, you short-shorts wearing shrew."

"Pretty big talk coming from a political witch."

"Pretty big talk coming from a not-so-pretty bi-"

"Hey," Harold exclaimed. "You two, knock it off! Our next challenge, according to this paper, is Slap Fest. We have to slap each other until the noise is loud enough to register on the iPud-"

He was drowned out by the immediate sounds of slapping from Valerie and Heather. The other four teammates winced horribly, and Harold muttered to Bridgette and Alejandro, "Gosh. Should we stop them or something?"

"Maybe wait until they calm down," Alejandro commented, "wait until they're too tired to slap us."

(Janitor's Closet - Slap-happy!)

Valerie - *face is painfully swollen* "I'll get Heather for that… ouch."

Heather - *face is painfully swollen too* "Reminds me of my days at school… ouch."

"Next letter is a T," Bridgette said after all the slapping was done. "Sorry, but nothing's coming to mind when I think of what we have… R-I-D-L-E-T… sounds familiar…"

"Well, it is very close to your own charming name, my dear Bridgette," Alejandro gushed, flipping one of her bangs. "Though I cannot imagine you hurting a fly."

Bridgette was all swoons and giggles again, and Heather groaned at this, but winced from her sore face injuries. Harold frowned at Alejandro and corrected his cat ears. When the rules for the last challenge printed, he seized the paper and turned back to the others.

"Ahem," he said, actually saying the word rather than clearing his throat. "Last challenge here, people! Let's get this done quick, we've lost a lot of time."

"Whatever," Justin muttered.

"Get on with it, nerd," Valerie grumbled, rubbing her sore face.

"Read the damn," Heather started to shout, then winced and cupped her jaw, "just… just read it."

Harold sighed and read the rules for Kiss Fest out loud, his eyes growing wider with every word, almost expanding past his glasses. Valerie gasped in surprise when he was done, and then grinned.

"Oh goody," she whispered. She seized Justin by his shoulders and kissed him. During the kiss, he struggled and she whimpered in pain, and when they parted, both were very annoyed.

"I have a girlfriend," Justin spat out.

"And I have a sore face, you didn't have to struggle," Valerie retorted. She groaned and looked around to see who else she could kiss. When she looked at Harold, she made a gagging sound loud enough for all to hear, and then headed to Alejandro. "Think you can kiss a lady properly?"

"If you insist, chica," he responded with a very handsome smile. Valerie was all giggled until he kissed her, and she wrapped her arms around him. Lasting longer than five seconds, he parted and she was grinning triumphantly.

"Now this is what I call a challenge," she exclaimed, then winced and nursed her jaw. "Owtch. Okay, Heather, your turn."

"What? No! I don't want to, I have a boyfriend!"

"If I have to, you have to!"

Alejandro was pushed over to her by Valerie, and after he recovered from the shove, he smiled at Heather and pat her shoulder. "Hey, Heather. Listen, I'm just here to help, so it really does mean nothing."

"Nothing my butt," she spat back, looking away from him. He leaned in and whispered to her, "I know what you really like."

"I'm taken," she snarled.

"Maybe, but you and I both know," he whispered to her, "just how much part of you misses the old you. And as much as you deny it, there will be part of you that cannot resist it. And if you doubt yourself, remember that you've been your normal self to keep your boyfriend safe."

Heather whirled around on him, her face unreadable with the amount of emotions. Alejandro smiled back at her, and pulled her closer to him. She winced, then kissed him; her cheeks puffed up unattractively as she did it, and then she pushed away after five seconds. "There, happy?" she said before stomping away.

Alejandro shrugged and looked over at the others. "All I said was we have to take one for the team," he said, pretending to look confused and concerned. "Now we need one more, don't we?"

"Yep," Valerie exclaimed, pointing at Bridgette. "And I think you might want to kiss her, right handsome?"

"Oh, indeed," Alejandro said, grinning at the surfer girl. "It would truly be an honor if she allowed me to bless her with one kiss."

Bridgette gasped, looking very nervous and excited and unsure all at once (which is how we get through life, actually). Before she could respond, Harold spoke up. "I don't want to complain," he said, "but you've already done a great deal of kissing, Alejandro. I mean, gosh, you didn't help with most of the other challenges."

"Oh, shut up, nerd," Valerie said. "What, you want to kiss someone? Who'd want a greasy nerd like you when there's a handsome young man like Alejandro?"

"I'll have you know I'm a great kisser," Harold said. "And furthermore…"

He stopped when Valerie burst out laughing, pointing at him mockingly. "Oh, that's rich," she exclaimed. "Now I see what you want! You want to go smooching other girls, and you're totally jealous they want Alejandro and not you!"

"Harold, dear leader," Alejandro said, smiling at him, "it is okay. You have a girlfriend, I can do this for your team."

He started to approach Bridgette, but the surfer girl was glaring at Valerie. "How dare you," she exclaimed at the politician. "There's absolutely no reason to be so mean!"

"What can I say? I just got in a fight," Valerie listed, "I have a handsome man backing me up, Justin's been so noncooperative, and this trip has not gone smoothly. Maybe if Harold's leadership had been a little better, we might have been more on track."

"Stop blaming him," Bridgette declared. She looked over at Harold, who was looking distraught over the fight going on. "Harold, you mustn't take all that to heart, we've done fine."

"The way you're talking about him, he's sounding like a tomcat," Valerie said with a cruel laugh, making Harold and Bridgette bristle indignantly. "Which is fitting, considering he's dressed in that dorky costume."

"He does not look dorky," the surfer fired back.

"Well, if you think he's so much the cat's meow, why don't you kiss him, Bridgette?"

Bridgette scoffed at Valerie and looked away. As the politician laughed back at her, the surfer looked at Harold, who still looked upset but very cute in his cat costume. Bridgette tilted his chin up, whispered, "Hey," to get his attention. Both of them stared at each other for a moment, then leaned in at the exact same time.

The kiss was sweet, and longer than it was officially supposed to be. When it was over, they both stared at each other, and Valerie interrupted the moment by declaring, "Ha! I knew that would work!"

"You planned that, chica?" Alejandro asked.

"Sure did! I knew egging them on would get them to kiss," Valerie said. "And we won the last challenge! No hard feelings, right? Twas all in fun."

(Janitor's Closet - Twas all in kissing!)

Valerie - "Between the nerd and the surfer bimbo, I cannot tell who I detest more. But hey, so long as they're ruining each other's chances at winning, I'm for it."

Alejandro - "I have to admire Valerie, the way she can be so crafty. But hey, that's what I'm doing to. Heather will fall to my spell, as will Bridgette; that'll cause drama with their boyfriends, who'll become angry ex's soon, and then… well, I hope Chris has me on again, I love doing this."

"Our last clue is a minus, or maybe a dash," Valerie said as she looked at the last clue. "That and the letters, what on earth have we got?"

She was met with silence. Bridgette and Harold were looking away from each other in embarrassment, Heather had stormed off, Justin didn't care, and Alejandro shrugged. Valerie groaned and scrunched up the paper in frustration. "C'mon, people, I'm not good at murder mysteries! I don't know what this damn minus sign stands for!"

Harold went from looking away nervously to inspired brilliance. "Wait, did you say a minus?"

"Sure, why-"

The nerd snatched the paper from her hand, and laid it out on the table. He looked at all the letters, and after a couple minutes, he snapped his fingers. "Bingo!"

"What, what you got?" Bridgette asked him.

"Look, the minus sign would apply to only one letter. Now we have R, I, D, L, E, and T. If we try to eliminate any letter, we would need the other five to fit into the person's name. It doesn't work with any other letter except L, because only Bridgette's name has all the letters except one. Our murderer has to be Bridgette!"

"Are you sure?" Valerie said with a scoff. "Because I don't think that-"

Bridgette had already gone over to the iPud and inputted herself in as the murderer. The victory music played, confetti and balloons rained, and the team celebrated. Valerie hugged Harold in her joy, which upset the nerd; Alejandro shook his hand, which he secretly grudgingly did not want to do.

Then Bridgette hugged him, and he gladly accepted. Then the two realized what they were doing, parted, and tried to ask very casual about it while being very worried.

(Janitor's Closet - Bridgette's a murderer? That's rather… OOC?)

Harold - "Please oh please, Leshawna, don't break up with me over this!"

Bridgette - "Please oh please, Geoff, don't break up with me for that!"

Alejandro - "Please oh please, both of you two suffer so I get paid more!"

(Team 5 (Balloon) - Mandy (L), Alfred, Cody, Sebastian, Carol, Sierra. (Clues: Two A, E, S, R. Two guesses left.))

"Well, our latest letter is an R. Still makes me think of Sebastian," Alfred said, "but since we guessed him already, I have no idea. Sierra, is your name one of those spelt differently than all the others?"

"Nope, spelt how it sounds," she said. "Only one A, so I don't know if I can be your killer."

"Keep squeezing Cody like that," Sebastian said, "and you just might be."

Cody wriggled out of Sierra's arms and gasped for air. "Jeez, were you a surgeon's clamp in a previous life?"

"I know you love technology, so maybe," Sierra said, giggling. The geek shuddered and hid behind Sebastian, who was studying the rules for Slap Fest.

"Okay, ladies and gentlemen," he said out loud, tapping his glasses in thought. "To put the next challenge in a nutshell, we have to slap someone loud enough for the iPud to pick it up."

"Great, non-provoked abuse," Carol said. "Like being airport security! So, who should I slap?"

"I'm rather afraid of you slapping people," Sierra said. "I think you might be too good at it!"

"Damn right! One of my old teachers said to me, 'Carol, you don't pay much attention in class, but you do slap those asleep back to wake very well!'"

"That's a rather disturbing but still interesting fact," the fan girl admitted. "When was this?"

"First grade! Woot!"

As Sierra and Carol continued to talk, the others exchanged glances. "Well, I'm not a violent person," Sebastian said, "but I don't mind taking a slap for the team." He removed his glasses and said, "Okay, who's slapping me?"

Mandy raised her hand. "Oh! My first grade teacher told me I slap others really hard."

Alfred beamed at her. "Really? When she'd say that?"

"Before I got detention."

"Well, you go slap someone good then," Alfred said, and then he slapped her butt. As Mandy let out a startled cry, the victory buzzer went off on the iPud. The cultist girl looked between the iPud and Alfred, and then groaned. "Cthulhu does not approve of friendly butt slaps!"

(Janitor's Closet - Closets never get friendly butt slaps.)

Mandy - "Cthulhu doesn't approve of those cheeky slaps to the butt cheeks!" *She fumes, then blushes and looks away and adds grudgingly.* "… But I do. Alfred keeps on tempting me, tempting the mortal inside of me! One day soon, I'll have to decide if I want to go out with him while I still have time. Why does he have to be nice as well as tempting?"

Alfred - "Mandy's so darn cute, and I love how feisty she gets. She's smart, talented, and awesome in so many ways. All I have to do is get through to her, and fight off the Cthulhu that seems to keep her apart from me. I just I knew what else she loved…"

…

Mandy and Alfred - *They are making out passionately, groping each other, until he breaks apart.* Alfred - "Does this mean we're going out now?"

Mandy - "I cannot make up my mind just yet! Can you give me some more times, mortal cat boy?"

Alfred - *He sighs and tweaks his cat ears.* "Aw, okay. Whacha wanna do then?"

Mandy - "This." *She pounces them, knocking them to the ground with many kissing noises following.*

…

Carol - *speaking over the kissing sounds* "Yeah, I couldn't wait any longer. I just wanted to say that I support Alfred and Mandy as a couple, and if she doesn't hook up with him soon, I'm gonna make her!"

Mandy - *from the floor* "I'd like to see you try, mortal short girl!"

Carol - "Don't call me short, ya freak!"

"And now we get an 'Uh,' ain't that special," Alfred said, looking at the latest clue. "This makes me one angry kitty."

"Stop making bad cat jokes, mortal cat boy," Mandy remarked as she rubbed her butt. "But what's an Uh?"

"Uh, I dunno," Carol admitted.

"I, uh, am confused too," Sierra confessed.

"Uh, uh, um, uh," Cody stammered, "I'm, uh, not sure."

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at his team, and watched as the instructions for the final challenge were printed. "Okay then, we have the final challenge. And this one is… oh my. Kissing."

Now everyone's attention was fixed on Sebastian as he read the rules, and soon Sierra was squealing in joy. "Oh, I love Chris Maclean for this opportunity," she exclaimed. "Time for me to make some lip magic with the most handsome man in the world."

Normally, this would flatter Cody, but since the fan girl had nearly squeezed him to death multiple times in one day, he was horrified. "No no no," Cody responded, "I, uh… uh… have a canker sore!"

"Don't care! Pucker up, my Cody-kinny-winnies!"

"No! Help! Someone stop her-"

He was interrupted as Sierra squeezed him in her vice-grip arms again and smooched him full on the lips. As much as Cody tried to get away, the fan girl was determined to keep him there. She giggled when concluding the kiss, and said, "And now, my life is complete."

"That was lame," Carol shouted. "You call that kissing?"

"Yeah, I'm with Carol on this one," Mandy shouted. "You want to see how to kiss a geeky but cute boy? This is how you do it!"

She yanked Cody from Sierra's arms, something only a determined cultist would have the strength for against a love-stricken fan girl. Mandy kissed Cody, cupping his face as she did so. Alfred looked a little upset and ground his foot into the ground.

It could be noted that Cody looked a lot more satisfied after Mandy finished the kiss, and Sierra looked quite steamed. "How dare you kiss my Cody-Wody," she shouted. "That's for us to do now and on our wedding."

"Oh, forget about Cody, dear."

Sierra started to turn to look at who said that, but Alfred had already tilted her back in his arms. "Allow me to show you what a real kiss is like!"

He smooched Sierra, who squirmed and fought at first, then went into a dreamy state in his arms. When they finished, he asked, "Now, was that as good as Cody?"

"Cody who?" Sierra dreamily whispered.

"Why are you kissing her?" Mandy shouted at Alfred. "Do you kiss every girl you can?"

"No, I don't," Alfred retorted, dropping Sierra on the floor. "I just did it for the challenge, like I assume you did with Cody!"

"I don't follow rules of challenges, I do as I please!"

"What about Cody's love triangle?"

"Cthulhuists don't follow the rules of those either. All is fair in love, war, and global annihilation!"

"Must you always be so stubborn and obtuse?"

"Don't use fancy words with me, mortal cat boy!"

The two glared at each other for a few more seconds, and then started making out. Carol cheered and clapped her hands. "Aren't they romantic together? I wonder when they're going to go out!"

"It's gotta be the craziest courting I've seen," Sebastian remarked. "Never seen a couple make out that much when they weren't officially a couple."

"You wanna make out, Sebastian?"

"No, I'm good, thanks."

(Janitor's Closet - We follow the rules, whatever they are.)

Sebastian - "Alfred's turned out to be a pretty good friend of mine, and he asks me for advice on things, specifically on how to court Mandy. I always tell him to appeal to her heart, and he asks if I'll do the same with Sakaki. Call me old-fashioned, but I think if I want to ask out Sakaki, it might be a bit more different from how Alfred courts Mandy."

Sierra - "Chris told me when I join this team, to be my 'charming self' with Cody. I don't know if I've made the best of impressions on Cody just yet, might have scared him into thinking I'll be picky about things, like where we'll go for our honeymoon. I'm not a finicky girl!"

"So what's the last clue, Sebastian?" Sierra asked as she walked away from Alfred and Mandy, who were still kissing.

"Hmm? Oh sorry, it's an I. Twas a little distracted by our romantic couple."

Mandy made a protesting noise and parted from Alfred, saying, "Wait, that's not official yet!"

Sebastian tapped his lips, trying to concentrate over Alfred's sad protest of, "Aww, really?" He spread out the clues and looked at them in deep thought. It seemed he was the only one, as Alfred was trying to get Mandy's attention again, Sierra was trying to get near Cody, Cody was getting away from Sierra, and Carol was enjoying the chaos.

"Two A's, E, S, R, Uh, and I," he said out loud. "And it's not me… wait…"

He rearranged the letters and stammering phrase around on the table, until he snapped his fingers. "I think I got it."

Alfred managed to tear himself away from Mandy when he heard those words. "Oh, you got it, Seb? What's the answer?"

Sebastian gestured to the table. "See the two words? SEA and AIR."

"Uh-huh, uh-huh, but what do the elements have to do with our killer? And about the Uh?"

"It's our friendly guest's name," Sebastian said. "Sea-air-uh."

Sierra, having seized Cody in another tight hug, walked over to the table. "Oh, I see," she said. "That's brilliant! Well done, Sebastian!"

They entered Sierra as the murderer in the iPud, and sure enough, the victory music and celebratory confetti fell from the ceiling. As the team cheered and clapped, Sierra giggled and squeezed Cody. "Wow, I never thought of myself as a murderer," she admitted. "Mom's gonna be real upset when she hears I killed the man of her dreams."

"Fan girl'ism runs in the family, huh?" Carol said. "Funny, that doesn't surprise me."

(Team 6 (Floaty Thingy) - Sadie (L), Eva, Yoshi, Gwen, Crystal, Chico. (Clues: A, N, C, O, x2.))

"Look, I know we're all stressed, but we're doing a good job at this so far," Crystal said to the others as they looked at their latest hint: an O. "We've been making good time, I'm sure!"

"Yeah, well, we're still nowhere near guessing who our killer is," Eva said. "None of our names work in these stupid clues."

"What's the next challenge?" Yoshi asked. "I'd really like to get this murder mystery over with."

"Oh, like you've sacrificed so much," the fitness girl scoffed.

"Are you implying I don't pull my weight?" he fired back. "I am so sick of your attitude, you're just as bad as Zachary!"

"I'm nothing like that whiner, you stupid-"

"Will you two knock it off?" Gwen shouted at them. "We have the rules for the next challenge here, and… oh. On, second thought, keep it up."

"What?" Eva asked, understandably confused by this statement. "What you mean by that, goth girl?"

"What I mean, muscle girl, is that we have to slap each other until the slapping noise registers on the iPud."

Yoshi and Eva blinked at this, looked at each other, then grinned wickedly. Chico squeaked in terror and hid behind Crystal, while Sadie did about the same and hid behind Gwen. The goth girl and romantic girl both just had to wince at the very painful striking sounds that followed.

When it was over, Yoshi and Eva lay on the ground, completely dazed and painfully red in the face. Yoshi let out a small moan and said, "You got a fast hand there, Eva."

"You hit hard for a lefty," she replied.

"That's nice, you two," Gwen said, rolling her eyes, "except that you managed to win that challenge by the first slap. So ha ha, you beat yourselves up for nothing."

"Was worth it to restore my honor," Yoshi declared from the floor.

"Had to prove I wasn't a wuss," Eva said, muffled as she was lying face-down.

Gwen groaned and handed the clue to Crystal. "Our clue is another stupid x2. Guess that means we'll have to do the last challenge."

"What's that?" Eva asked as she stood up.

"We're gonna have to kiss each other," she replied, holding up the rules for the last challenge. "Four different couples, four different kisses."

"Seriously?" Yoshi said as he stood up and wiped a trickle of blood from his lip. "Well, I'm not doing that."

"You can't back out," Sadie cried out. "You're, like, the only guy!"

"heyz! wut am i?"

"Um, sorry, sweetie," she said as she pat Chico's head. "I mean the only human guy!"

"I refuse to kiss four other girls," Yoshi exclaimed, clenching his fists. "Daisy and I have not even kissed that much yet, and I won't let things go sour because I sucked face with you all before with her."

"Well, you're gonna," Eva shouted, shaking her fist at him, "because we're not all going to be kissing each other!"

Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Oh, kissing other girls isn't so bad. Bridgette's a fine kisser."

"I don't swing that way!"

"Neither do I, I'm just saying."

"Yoshi, as much as I hate it, is kissing all of us, and that's final," Eva shouted.

Sadie whimpered, and said, "But Zachary might be mad if I kissed the boy he's always fighting with."

"Eva," Gwen said, "will you calm the hell down?"

"I will not calm the hell down, you calm the hell down, you surfer girl kissing goth!"

"Okay, now I'm with Yoshi here, I want to slap you one!"

"Bring it on, you-"

"Will you all bloody stop your bickering!"

The four humans and one raccoon looked at Crystal, who was standing next to the table. "I've already figured out who our killer was that done in our host!"

"Really?" Sadie asked. "How did you manage that?"

"I'm British, darling," she responded with a chuckle. "We've got a little detective in all of us."

"You figured out our killer?" Yoshi said, looking at the clues. "I don't see anyone's names."

"Look how I arranged them, eh wot."

Yoshi looked at the order: A-C-x2-O-x2-N. "Wait, is this what I think it is?"

"If you're thinking raccoon like me, then yes," Crystal said. "The x2 are supposed to symbolize there is two of a certain letter. I wasn't sure until we got a second one, then I knew it had to be our furry friend. I'm more than certain our last clue will be an R, so we can guess right now."

"i keeled Chris Maclean?" Chico asked, then he laughed and pumped his little fists in the air. "dat's ryght! i deed eet, an i'm pwoud! i deed eet fur teh lolz, the cheezburgers, and fur reevenge!"

Crystal entered the suspect into the iPud, and sure enough, the British romantic was right. The team cheered as victory music played, and Chico battered at the balloons.

"i regretz nuttin," he was continuing to say. "death 2 teh oppressor!"

Gwen picked up Chico and hugged him. "You are my hero now, slayer of Chris."

"yayz! i getz a final hugz befur dey take me 2 teh beeg howse!"

(Janitor's Closet - Not exactly a big house.)

Chico the Raccoon - "so i wuz teh one who beet Chris wit a gawlf klub, knocked him into a vayse, step en mowsetrap, an burn him 2 deth wid a Molotof cocktale? LOLZ! epic pwnage!"

Crystal - "I do enjoy a good mystery every now and then. Fits right in with love, because love can be such a mystery too!" *She giggles and sighs happily, then looks to the side.* "Though it would have been nice to see more kissing… but I do want Yoshi and Daisy's relationship to take off."

Yoshi - "Thank God for Crystal's cleverness, I'd hate to have to kiss a bunch of girls when I'm still working on things with Daisy. Maybe I could have made Eva kiss the raccoon. Heh heh heh."

Sadie - "So… can I count that as a victory for myself? Or was it Crystal's? Aw, winning is hard!"

The six teams all eventually were delivered back at the air strip where they had taken off, where the (very much living) Chris Maclean was waiting for them, along with Chef and Groucho. They were all shuffled into rides back to the stadium, and the host ignored everyone's question of "Who won?"

When they arrived back at the stadium, everyone was kicked out of the vehicles in front of Vera, and Chris Maclean stood in front of them. "Well, everyone," he announced, "we had a lot of fun watching this one! There was spills, chills, kisses, near-misses, and much more fun! We all had a jolly good laugh, as Crystal would say."

"Um, thank you," she responded, blushing slightly from the attention.

"Why Crystal?" Xander asked, looking over at her. "Did she win?"

"No," Chris Maclean said, then he glanced at a piece of paper he was holding. "Except yes."

"We won?" Sadie cried out. "We got first place?"

"Indeed you did," Chris announced. "According to our viewings, Sadie's team completed the murder mystery before any other team did. This could be because you all avoided the kissing challenge, and skipped over all the awesome bickering the other teams did!"

"We won," Sadie repeated, and hugged Eva in delight. Yoshi and Gwen high-fived, and Crystal pumped her fists while Xander hugged her.

"Well done, my British bombshell," he said to her. "I knew there was a detective in you."

She blushed even more and stammered out, "Th-thanks! I do my best!"

"an i wuz teh wun who dun en teh bloke," Chico said in celebration.

"Wait, you were the murderer?" Groucho asked him. "You killed Chris Maclean?" He hugged his furry friend and blubbered through his tears of joy, "I'm so proud of you!"

"Yes, and," Chris said, eyeing the raccoon, "you can take off the cat costume. In fact, you all can take those things off!"

Colin laughed at this, adding, "Yes, some of us don't want to see that fat cat anymore. And look at him," he declared, pointing at Harold, "that's gotta be the most revolting thing I've ever seen in my life-"

Leshawna hit him the back of the head, then painfully squeezed the nerve that made him black out. With a disgusted grunt and a kick to the unconscious boy, she looked up to see her boyfriend was in a cat costume too. Harold was looking at her with wonder and arousal, to which she smiled bashfully.

Someone elbowed her from behind. "Go on," Bridgette whispered to her friend, "go talk to him!"

Leshawna approached Harold, and, for lack of better words, chuckled and said, "Meow."

"Rawr," he replied.

"Purr," she added, then they laughed and embraced.

"Boy, does that look good on her," Gwen said to Bridgette. "Always knew she could be a cat woman!"

The other cat people were having admirers too. Arthur looked over Belinda and said with a chuckle, "Wow. If only Howard was here to see that!"

"Want," Izzy gushed when she Alfred in his cat costume. "Want want WANT!"

Alfred was very distracted by cat girl Izzy, but the cat boy managed to keep her from pouncing him. "No no no, wait! I'm trying to get Mandy to officially go out with me, and it's dangling on a wire now!"

"She was on a blimp ride with you when you were wearing that," Izzy exclaimed, "and she still doesn't know? What's wrong with her?"

"Oh wow."

Izzy and Alfred turned to see Mandy staring at both of them, but she quickly looked away when she saw them look at her. "Nothing! I wasn't looking at you two in your cat costumes! Nothing, you're crazy!"

Chris sighed and pulled out his megaphone. "HEY," he shouted, startling them all. "I wasn't done yet! Don't you want to know who lost?"

"That would be nice," Noah responded, "when I get my hearing back, thank you!"

"Well then," Chris said, "the losing teams are…"

…

…

…

"Team 3 and 4!"

The members of those teams cried out in protest and angst, greatly upset. Harold parted from Leshawna and declared, "Did we really come in last?"

"I wouldn't lie," Chris said. "Well, actually, I would lie, but I'm not lying now. Team 4, you wasted so much time overall, I'm surprised you couldn't tell. Some people were just too busy flirting and protesting to get stuff done!"

Bridgette blushed bright red and hid her face, whimpering, "Sorry," so quietly that no one heard her. Chris continued, noting this discomfort and casting a very quick wink to Alejandro.

"I also have to say, Team 3, you blew a ton of time! What did you think was going to happen when you let Lindsay try to solve a mystery?"

"But I did," Lindsay wailed. "Was it really all my fault, Chip?"

"My name is Chris! And no, you could blame your whole team. Izzy distracting, Sakaki all moe, and Xander didn't exactly lead!"

Xander groaned and looked away, catching Harold's eye. The two leaders of the losing teams looked at each other, looked at their distraught teammates, and nodded. Something was formulating between the two.

"You all now have about a half-hour to get some business done before we have the voting ceremony," Chris said. "Winners, think of who you want to bring on your romantic blimp ride! Losers, vote for who really cost you the game! Others, do stuff! Go on!"

As everyone shuffled off, Sierra was still clinging to Cody. "So you want to sneak onto the blimp for a romantic blimp ride?" she asked. "You know, I never thought blimps could be romantic, but with you…"

She froze when she saw a very angry Eva standing in front of them. Sierra squeaked, muttered, "Running now," and dashed off, leaving Cody free.

(Janitor's Closet - The losing commences, the winning continues!)

Sierra - "Wow! Eva is every bit as scary in person as I thought she would be! Why did someone that tough have to fall for Cody? Why couldn't it have been someone who wouldn't put up a violent fight, like, oh, Noah?"

Anita - *wails* "Noooo-ho! Eva got the prize! She's gonna take Cody!"

Eva - "Hehe, perfect! I can take Cody! If I get Miss Squeezing Deathgrip away from him!"

Cody - "Thank goodness! I finally got away from Sierra! That girl is part octopus, I swear, she doesn't stop clinging to me!"

Groucho the Duck - "My little recruit has grown so big! He's killing hosts and wearing cat girl costumes… well, that last one wasn't really that impressive, but he helped his team win! What a brave soldier!"

Chris Maclean - "While we let the voting commence, and Alejandro put the final nail in some couple's coffin, I have compiled a bunch of clips from the blimp rides. Hehe, I cannot wait to see how everyone reacts to seeing their loved ones smooching others. Lemme count off who's going to be pissed: Duncan, Heather, Ezekiel… naw! I don't need to, because this'll be great!"

Bridgette was walking down the hallway, trying to find Geoff. "I know I saw him somewhere," she thought as she looked down a hallway. "Oh, why is he still hiding? Does he know what happened?"

"Hello, chica."

Bridgette froze and turned around to see the handsome Alejandro smiling handsomely at her. "Oh, h-hi," she stammered. "Listen, Alejandro, I just wanted to say that our team's loss wasn't your fault-"

"I do not mind if you blame me, my dear Bridgette."

He approached her, and she found herself backing up against a wall. His hand settled on the wall next to her head, and he leaned in. "Tell me," he said in a low, husky voice, "how can any boy resist someone as sweet as you? They should be like bees to the flower; fitting for someone with goldenrod hair."

Alejandro combed her hair with his other hand, and she shivered. Her heart was beating hard and her face flushed, and she barely managed to whisper back, "I… I don't know why Geoff is ignoring me."

"I have been quite taken by you, Bridgette. Would you permit me," he leaned down and gently kissed her neck, causing her to shiver in pleasure, "to express myself completely?"

"I… I…," she stammered more. Her body, her conscious, mind, and heart were all screaming different messages. She kept thinking about how good this felt with Alejandro, how Geoff was avoiding her, how much she still cared about Geoff… and then her mind started talking about someone else, someone she didn't think really belonged in the picture. Until now.

"W-wait," she suddenly blurted out, pushing gently on his strong chest. "I… I cannot do this! I'm still seeing someone, and… and… I have to make things right on something else."

"Oh?" Alejandro purred, nuzzling her blushing face and kissing her cheek. "Well, let me know after you've set this thing right. I'll be waiting for you after the voting ceremony."

"Hey!"

Both turned to see Justin standing at the hallway, looking disapprovingly at the two. "So this is why we lost?" he asked. "You were busy fooling around with the new boy? And I thought you were having it out with Harold!"

"No," Bridgette shouted. "No no, I didn't-"

"I really thought better of you," Justin spat. "I'm telling the other members of our team, maybe they'll know now why we lost it all."

"Justin," she called out, chasing after him as he stormed away. When she rounded a corner, she accidentally bumped into someone else, and knocked him over. "Ouch! Oh… sorry, Harold… Harold!"

"What's wrong, Bridgette?"

She didn't reply at first, she just sobbed. She finally managed to say, "Everything. And it's all my fault."

(Janitor's Closet - Maybe it was all our fault instead?)

Alejandro - "Bridgette and Harold really made fools of themselves this contest; I also managed to make them lose by stalling and making up excuses not to help. It's time to start ruining her relationship, and get her kicked out of the season… I shall savor this, because things just worked out so perfectly for me. Wonder if Chris will give me a bonus?"

Harold - "I really don't trust that Alejandro! I'm gonna do something about this, you mark my words! I swear by Odin's beard, by the power of Greyskull, by everything good and holy, I will not let injustice carry out tonight!"

"No! No no, no way, I can't," Geoff pleaded. "Please don't make me do more voting! I cannot take it! I can't focus, I can't sleep right, I can't even party! I'm losing what makes me Geoff!"

"Calm down," said the mysterious person who had made Geoff involved in such deals in the first place. "I'm doing you a favor. I've heard from some sources that Bridgette might get the axe if you don't vote off who I want."

"What? No! Not my Bridge! I'll do whatever you say, but you have to save Bridgette!"

"I cannot assure her survival, but I do need to have your assistance. Got it?"

"I got it, I got it!"

Geoff darted off, almost knocking over Gwen, who was walking down the hallway. "Hey, will you watch it?" she snapped at the retreating party animal. "Jeez… wait, who was he talking to?"

(Janitor's Closet - Who indeed?)

Gwen - "Geoff hasn't been in our room in a long time, and I'm wondering if someone has influenced him in some way to make him like this. If Trent were like this, I'd be concerned, so of course that one of my best friend's boyfriend, and a friend of my own, is acting like a crazy man on the run from the law!"

Izzy was walking down the hallway, still dressed in her cat girl outfit, and humming something from Cats. As she strolled along the way, Valerie stepped in front of her quite suddenly.

"Hi there, Izzy," she said cheerfully.

"Hi, pink girl."

"Valerie," the politician responded with a slight eye twitch. "Listen, I need a favor from you. There's someone I'm thinking of voting off, and I really need this done as a favor to a friend of mine."

Izzy nodded a great many times. "I've also received a request from some people on who to vote for. What will you offer me in return?"

Valerie was quite startled by this, and thought of all the things that Izzy could want; most did not sound too good. "Um, well," she stammered, "I cannot think of anything right now… do you have any suggestions?"

"Indeed I do."

Izzy pounced on Valerie, pinned her against the wall, and immediately began kissing her with gusto.

(Janitor's Closet - We're running low on comment ideas here!)

Valerie - *Her clothes and hair are awfully ruffled.* "Um… wow, yeah. The things I do for votes. It meant nothing! I just needed her vote for my plan to work!"

Izzy - *She licks and smacks her lips.* "Hee hee hee! And the beauty of it is, I was already going to vote for who she suggested me to! Am I one crafty cat or what?"

Bridgette was practically sprinting down the hallways, desperately trying to find one of the people she really needed to talk to, and it was growing to be such a long list: Leshawna, Geoff, Gwen, and-

She crashed into the last person about to be listed, sending both girls crashing down to the floor. "Oh, bloody heck," Crystal muttered as she sat up, "they weren't exaggerating when they said you could be a bit of a wrecking ball on foot, were they?"

"Crystal, thank goodness I found you," she said. "Look, you have to do me this huge favor! I need you to stop the rumors going on about me!"

"What rumors?"

"That I'm seeing other boys besides Geoff! That I love… I mean… that I'd go well with…," she stammered more, then cried out in frustration. "You know how you once said you liked the idea of Harold and I together?"

"Yes, that was some time ago-"

"It won't go away! People have been insinuating that I don't love Geoff anymore, and I'm with Harold! Or Alejandro! People won't believe me when I say I'm still with Geoff!"

"Must… not… start fanon pairing," Crystal thought.

"Can you please do something about it?" Bridgette begged her. "I don't care what happens to me, I just don't want Geoff or Harold or Leshawna or anyone hurt by these! You have to stop this… this… Bridgold shipping!"

"Okay, Bridgette, okay," Crystal said, waving her hands. "I'll spread the word! But I have to talk to Geoff if I want to save your relationship."

"It doesn't need that, it… it… does, actually."

Crystal placed her hand on Bridgette's shoulder. "Look, Bridgette, love is a crazy roller coaster at times. You're going to have to learn to lean into the turns, or you'll end up sick."

"I'm… I'm trying."

"What are you two talking about?"

Leshawna was standing nearby, looking at the two. Bridgette gasped and approached her after quickly thanking Crystal. The British romantic left, but waited around a corner to hear what was being said.

"Girl, you look a mess," Leshawna said to Bridgette. "What's wrong?"

"Leshawna, you have to believe me when I say there's nothing going on between Harold and me," she said, almost frantic. "I know you two love each other, and I know there's problems with Geoff and I, but nothing is happening, I swear!"

Her friend stared at her as she continued. "I just don't want anything bad to happen between you two because of the rumors. You know we're just friends, and you two have had such a wonderful relationship. He's so nice to you and supportive, and he does look really cute in that cat costume, especially when you're in one too?"

Leshawna started to smirk at her. "You really dig him in those cat threads, don't you?"

"Leshawna, please," Bridgette wailed, gripping her own hair in frustration. "I don't want you two to lose what you have! Isn't everything okay?"

She sighed and looked to the side, worrying Bridgette. After a few seconds, Leshawna spoke her mind. "A couple days ago, I got a call from my parents. They were really glad to hear from me, but I got the distinct impression that they don't think I should be dating Harold any more."

"What? Why?"

"Quite a few reasons, sugar. They think he's too forward and such, they think we're too different… and I don't understand either, they've met him several times. I wonder what changed their minds."

Bridgette stared at Leshawna, completely blown away by this. She was hiding something, she could tell. "Leshawna, is that it?" she asked, her voice a fragile whimper. "Did… did they say anything else?"

"They did," Leshawna said with a heavy sigh. "They think he's too interested in you to be dating me."

The surfer girl's heart sank like a rock, and Leshawna held her shoulders. "Bridgette, I don't think you're doing anything with my boyfriend. I trust you with all my heart and soul, girl, but things between Harold and I aren't going that well. I've felt it myself, it's just that… I don't know, I'm not feeling the same about him these days."

"M-maybe that's just a phase?" Bridgette asked. "Just give it time, you might change your mind."

"I'll give it some time, don't worry," Leshawna said, "but I don't know what exactly I'm gonna do, hon, if my parents don't approve of our relationship."

(Janitor's Closet - We always approved of it!)

Bridgette - *She is very quiet and still shaken, then she bursts into tears.* "I've ruined everything!"

Chris Maclean - "And that's going to make everything so much more dramatic and better! This is gonna be good!"

(Maclean Stadium, Arena, Voting Ceremony)

As the crowd roared, Chris Maclean waved at them, as did the special guest stars Sierra and Alejandro. While many of the contestants waved back, some were just too distracted.

"Now this was one fun challenge," Chris was saying, "violence, cat people, suspense, drama, love, hate, and more drama! Isn't that grand?"

The contestants all made negative replies and grunts. The host simply shrugged and continued to speak. "I'd also like to thank our wonderful guest stars from the Bus of Losers! Our fan girl Sierra, and our wonderfully sweet and generous Alejandro!"

Both of them waved at the contestants, Sierra blowing a kiss at Cody, who shuddered and hid. Alejandro winked at Bridgette, who tried to manage a smile but was too distraught.

"And now, for some special highlights of the contest," Chris said, "and I know you all are going to love this! Chef, you got the recording ready?"

"Ready," Chef said, holding up a CD. As he put it in a tray to play on Vera, he grinned wickedly as he hit Play.

Vera's screens lit up, but instead of clips from the final challenge on the blimp like Chris thought it would be, it was the Janitor's Closet.

(Janitor's Closet - Secret cameo, woohoo!)

Alejandro - "Chris asked me to help out in this challenge, and to also stir up the drama. He also hinted me that Bridgette and Geoff are having trouble, so it's time for a handsome, understanding man to come onto him, and cause her more drama and trouble. It's so much fun to manipulate nice people like her, they're so gullible."

Alejandro - "Suckers. I just had to feign fainting, and they helped me sit down. Sympathy card, play that all the time to nice people like Bridgette, they eat it up. What chumps, they make this so much fun."

Alejandro - "Such gullible losers. I just spared my tender stomach the pain, and let that scrawny nerd take the blow; he's so trying to watch over that girl. Chris Maclean, consider the affair a given, he's going to blow it bad. I love my work."

Alejandro - "Heather will fall to my spell, as will Bridgette; that'll cause drama with their boyfriends, who'll become angry ex's soon, and then… well, I hope Chris has me on again, I love doing this."

Alejandro - "Bridgette and Harold really made fools of themselves this contest; I also managed to make them lose by stalling and making up excuses not to help. It's time to start ruining her relationship, and get her kicked out of the season… I shall savor this, because things just worked out so perfectly for me. Wonder if Chris will give me a bonus?"

After the clips were done, the stadium was almost silent with shock, and the one to break the silence was Chris Maclean.

"What the hell," he shouted, then glared at Chef. "Chef buddy, what was that? You were supposed to play clips of the kissing part of the challenge!"

"Oops, sorry," Chef replied, grinning unkindly. "I guess I compiled the wrong bunch of clips."

"You… you… you just ruined all the plans I had!"

"That's a shame. Maybe I would be more sympathetic," he picked up Chris's megaphone and shouted right in the host's face, "IF I GOT MY FRIGGING PAYCHECK!"

Alejandro stormed over to Chef. "You just blew my cover," he snapped at the former cook, "you just sabotaged everything, you *Spanish censored*… and that goes for your mother too!"

"DON'T CARE," Chef Hatchet shouted in his face, blowing back the handsome teen's hair. When Alejandro grumbled and tried to correct his hair and clothes, someone grabbed him by the collar.

"I knew you were up to no good," Harold shouted, shaking him. "You tried to hurt my friends, my relationship with my lovely Leshawna! You… you… you… idiot! You uber-idiot!"

"Oh, get bent, nerd," Alejandro said as he shoved Harold away, his strength greatly out-matching the nerd's and knocking him on his back.

"I knew you were a schemer from the beginning," Heather shouted, shaking her fist at him. "You womanizing creep!"

"I ought to wring your neck," Leshawna snarled at him as she helped up Harold. "How dare you try to use people!"

"You've been trying to break up official couples by seduction?" Sierra shouted. "Is that why you keep provoking people on the bus? You scoundrel, you lying scum, you've been trying to ruin everything I've done to make things nicer on the bus, haven't you?"

Alejandro dismissed them all with a wave, but could not ignore when Bridgette walked up in front of him. "You used me," she hissed, emotion cracking her voice. "You were trying to hurt my friends by using me? How… how could you do that?"

"It's nothing personal, chica."

"It was all personal!"

"You're nothing special, stop acting so hurt," Alejandro said. "You're an expendable, average girl on a show that should never have anyone as boring as you. And the funny thing, I proved the point that you were unfaithful to your boyfriend, involving the other stupid couple-"

His voice was caught in his throat when Bridgette grabbed his vest to pull him in when she drove her knee into his groin as hard as she could. As he sank to his knees, she shouted, "I did not cheat on Geoff! And my friends are not stupid, you big, fat, jerk!"

Alejandro groaned in intense pain as almost everyone cheered, and he walked off, cursing in Spanish. Chris watched him go, and then said, "You know, Bridgette, the producers don't take kindly to violence-"

"Why don't you shut up too?" she hollered at him; Chris quickly put his hands over his groin, even though she wasn't that close to him. "You were paying him to try and break up couples, to try and ruin things for us! How could you do that, you want to emotionally hurt us that much?"

"Dude, they've seriously pissed off Bridgette," Izzy whispered to Alfred and Mandy. "I didn't think that was possible!"

Chris hid behind the table the trophies were on, and said, "Okay, okay! I'm sorry, I won't do that any more!"

"You swear on that?" Groucho the Duck said, standing nearby with a magnum revolver in his wing.

"I swear, yeah, totally swear! I just feel terrible right now! Very, very, very sorry," he exclaimed. Shooting a quick glare at Chef Hatchet and muttering, "I'll get you for this," he began to quickly pass out the trophies to everyone who had won immunity.

"You wanted drama, you got drama," Leshawna said to him as he passed by, making him flinch in terror. "You just made life hell for you here, Maclean."

Finally, it came down to the eleven who had lost the contest. They all looked a little nervous, but some just looked deflated after such an emotional ordeal.

"Okay, those of you who didn't get any votes…," Chris said, holding up the trophy with the blimp on it. "We have…

"Sakaki, Heather, Lindsay, Valerie, Arthur, Izzy, Harold, Xander, and Geoff! Good work, you all, it's really only down to two people."

Everyone was now looking at Justin and Bridgette, the only ones to not get a trophy. Bridgette was slumped in her chair, looking completely defeated and distraught. Justin glanced at her before looking back at Chris. "So who gets it? Our handsome man, or our surprisingly not-so-nice surfer girl?"

"Doo'nt you start, Chris," Ezekiel snapped.

"She just kneed someone in the groin and shouted me down."

"Considering what both of you were doing," Justin said, "I can't blame her."

"Fine, whatever, can I give the last trophy?"

"Go, little man," Groucho snarled.

"Eeek! Um, yeah, the last person to receive a trophy on this very, very, very dramatic day… is…

…

…

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…

…

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…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Bridgette!"

The surfer girl looked quite surprised, and almost missed catching her trophy. She winced in pain as it hit her chest, but she looked more upset than hurt. She glanced over at Justin, and said, "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, it was my fault you were on the line in the first place," he said as he stood up. "I fell for Alejandro's scheming too, but I guess I was wrong."

"You voted for Bridgette?" Izzy hollered, standing up on her chair and pointing accusingly at him. "You're gullible as well as evil, my sinister ex!"

"I am not any of those things! I am nothing like Alejandro," Justin shouted. "And for crying out loud, Izzy, we didn't go out, it was one date! Let it lie!"

"So you did go out with her?" DJ asked.

"One date! And it ended with the cops, the fire department, and an ambulance arriving at where we went out, so I don't think it counts. Now if you all will excuse me, I'd just like to go now!"

With a wave and a sigh, he walked onto the bus. Beth was already there to greet him. "Justin, honey," she said as he sat down in a huff, "why did you give up during the challenge? You could have done so much better!"

"No point. I didn't have any motivation, didn't have you, and got replaced by some other handsome guy."

"He turned out to be a real jerk, hon. And you know there's more to you than just your gorgeous face," she said as she cupped his chin and made him look over at her. "We're gonna have to work on that self-esteem, sweetie."

He managed to smile at her. "You're too nice. Wish I knew what I did to deserve you, Beth."

Duncan's Bus of Losers pulled away, driving and leaving a putrid cloud behind it. Chris Maclean coughed and looked at the contestants. "Okay then! Winners of Team 6, I hope you have your date ready!"

A limousine pulled up near the platform, much to the excitement of the winners. Sierra giggled and jumped from behind Cody, squeezing him. "Can I come too?"

"No, you're not invited," the host snapped. "Now, Sadie!"

"Um," Sadie stammered, then looked over at Zachary, "I pick Zachary! That okay?"

"Yes, it's fine. Jeez, you overly cautious teens…"

"Thanks, babe," Zachary said, grinning at Sadie. "This should be good!"

He glanced at Valerie, who faked a smile, then looked away in a sulk as Sadie and Zachary boarded the limousine; she corrected a strand of her hair that was still out of order since her "conversation" with Izzy.

"Next is Eva," Chris said. "Who do you want?"

"I want Cody, of course," Eva said. "Sierra, will you let go of her?"

Cody wriggled out of Sierra's grasp and darted to Eva, grasping her hand and shaking it appreciatively. "Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Both Sierra and Anita looked very upset by this, but helpless to do anything. Even Chris looked upset, and grumbled, "And next is Yoshi."

"I want to go with Daisy."

"She'll be at the blimp, the bus is heading there now just in case. Next is Gwen… Trent, right?"

"Gee, how did you guess?"

"No need for sarcasm. Now, Crystal… are you going to actually take a real date this time?"

"Yes," the romantic said as she stood up. She looked over at Xander and said, "Hon, I think it's time we actually tried going out on a date. Just be a gent?"

"Of course, my dear," he said, smiling at her. "I wouldn't dare try anything, you know martial arts."

"Jolly good," she chirped, then took his hand and the two headed for the limousine. Chris watched them go, and raised an eyebrow.

"Not bad," he said, "but quite the odd couple in a sense. Hehe. So, who's left? … Oh. The raccoon."

"datz ryght," Chico exclaimed, trotting up to him and waving his paws in the air like jazz hands. "i wun, so i getz epic dayt 2?"

"I don't see why you can't go, but what date?" Chris asked. "Who could you possibly ask out?"

Chico grinned, and then trotted over to Bridgette and pointed up at her. "herz! i wantz dayt wid her!"

"What," Chris asked incredulously.

"What?" Bridgette asked as well, gaping at the critter.

"dunt u reememberz? u saved mah lyfe bak on teh eyeland," Chico said, grinning and clasping his little paws. "u iz mah heewo!"

"The island?" Bridgette repeated. She thought back, and the final challenge of TDC came to mind; she remembered saving a raccoon from a snare trap during the finals, and the same raccoon helped her get her flag back. "Oh! Yes, I remember you!"

"she reememberz me! YESH," Chico shouted in delight and pumped his paws in the air. "oh pweeze say u go on dayt wid me! i can do roh'mance!"

The raccoon pulled a top hat out from behind him and put it on, and then he produced, seemingly from thin air, an accordion. Loudly, he began to sing as candles he had set up earlier provided a romantic glow.

…

"o theez iz teh ny-iiiiiight, eez ah beeyuteefull ny-iiiiiight!

An we callz eet bella naughtte!

Luk at teh skyze, dey haz starz een deir eyezzzz!

On dis wuvwee bella naughtteeeeee!

Syde bah syde wid ur wuved wun-"

…

"SOMEONE STOP HIM," Chris shouted, hands over his ears. "That's the worst singing ever!" [1]

"I kind of like it," Izzy said, swaying to the song.

"You're not going to do a song while I'm here," the host continued to shout. "Bridgette, I beg of you, go with him so we don't have to listen to that awful noise anymore!"

Chico pouted at the host, then looked at Bridgette as she squatted down in front of him. "Look… Chico, right?" she said. She pat his head and scratched behind his ear as she continued to say, "I'm really sorry, but I've had a long day, and I have a boyfriend."

"eet ez just wun blimp ryde," Chico whined. "wud he mind dat much?"

"I think he would," she said as she stood up and looked behind her. "Would you, Geoff? Geoff?"

Bridgette looked around the other contestants, but couldn't see her boyfriend anymore; Geoff had bolted when Justin had been voted off, having seen her girlfriend apologize to him. The surfer girl was close to tears with how abandoned she felt, until Ezekiel was there by her.

"Look, we'll go have a talk with Geoff," he said to her, holding her shoulders for support. "You really deserve a break after what that Alejandro jerk put you throo', eh. Joo'st enjoy yoor'self, you deserve it."

"Yeah, sugar," Leshawna chimed in. "Go on, it'll be fun."

Bridgette glanced between the two, and then Harold spoke up. "You only live once, Bridgette," he said, smiling at her, "and how often do you get to do something as awesome as a blimp ride?"

She still looked uncertain, but smiled at her friends. "Oh… okay. I guess I will." She looked down at Chico and said, "You have yourself a date, Chico."

"YAYZ," Chico cheered with great gusto. "dis ez teh best day uf mah lyfe!"

"Yes yes, go go," Chris Maclean shouted, "and no singing! You hear that, raccoon?"

"gotcha, bowss man!"

Bridgette and Chico entered the limousine, and then it took off. The contestants all exchanged glances and started to talk when a loud honk could be heard.

Groucho the Duck was nearby, sobbing tears of joy and blowing his bill on a handkerchief. "My little recruit, winning challenges and fighting the good fight, now he's serenading a lady! I'm so proud of him!"

(Janitor's Closet - So this is the night then?)

Groucho the Duck - *blows his nose again* "Those young recruits… they become men so fast!"

(Maclean Stadium, Cafeteria)

Most of those not on the blimp ride were at the cafeteria, eating dinner. Some were still upset, some lost in thought, some were delighted even though they didn't get first place.

DJ and Clive in particular were in good moods, and clinked glasses of milk before digging into their meal. Sebastian was having a pleasant conversation with Sakaki, who managed to not faint. Alfred, dressed normally again, was talking to Rodney and giving some advice.

Sierra sat down at a table, looking at a cup of milk she had poured herself. "I cannot believe Duncan's Bus of Losers left before I could get on," she grumbled. "Now I'm stuck here until they come back tomorrow! And I lost my Cody too, this is like the worst day ever!

"If he doesn't fall for Eva that blimp ride, I might as well admit that Anita's got more of a chance. I blew it all," she wailed and pounded the table with her cup, splashing milk everywhere in the midst of her crying. "Lost my crush, lost my ride, spilt my milk…"

"Want to talk to someone who understands?"

Carol sat down next to her, patting her shoulder. "Let's talk, girl-to-girl, since we both know what it's like to lose a boy we dig."

Sierra smiled at her new friend, and the two started a conversation that was too fast-paced for most human beings to comprehend. A few tables away, Heather and Ezekiel were sitting down after a long and unproductive search for Geoff.

"So Courtney kissed you?" Heather asked. "Man, didn't see that coming."

"I certainly didn't see Alejandro becoming a royal jerk coming too, eh," he said. "Man, I'm glad you coo'd sense that befur he kissed you."

"You get a sixth sense a'boot these things," she said, half-meaning to imitate his accent. She grinned and whispered to him, "But I'll gladly kiss you many times over as an apology."

As Ezekiel blushed bright red and giggled anxiously, Harold sat down next to Leshawna. "No luck on finding Geoff at all," he said to her. When she didn't reply, he nervously tapped his fingers together. "Um, is everything all right?"

"Just got a lot on my mind, sugar," she said, not looking over at him. Leshawna felt guilty, distracted, and didn't know what to truly say to him. She finally sighed as she asked, "Harold baby, Bridgette was really upset after the challenge. Between her and Gwen, I don't know what I'm gonna do."

"Is there anything I can do to help now?" he asked. "Your friends are my friends."

She let out a small chuckle, and looked over at him. "You're just too sweet, sugar. But tell me, did you two kiss for the Kiss Fest challenge?"

Harold winced, and nodded very meekly. "Alejandro was putting the moves on her, and I was worried. A real gentleman would never let a lady lose her honor to such a cad! I couldn't allow it, so-"

"Okay, calm down, Harold. It's not that big a deal to me, I trust you. Besides, I kissed Noah."

"Eww."

"Yeah, tell me about it. Guy's okay, but can still be a turkey at times."

"Hey, Leshawna? I know things are still a little unsteady between us, and I want to mend that," he said, "so I got you a little something."

Leshawna looked over at him to see he was wearing the cat ears again. She couldn't help but giggle and pull him close. "Oh, you cute, cool cat you," she said before she kissed him.

(Janitor's Closet - Cool cat Harold! Wait, we already made those puns last chapter.)

Leshawna - "It's hard to stay mad at Harold. Sure he rattles off on useless facts sometimes, or goes into long-winded rants about honor and code, but his heart is always in the right place. I've got to give more thought on where we stand, and if my parents aren't just overreacting a little; Harold's a little crazy, but there's a lot good about him."

Sierra - "I guess there are other boys in the ocean, even if Cody is the pearl of the sea! Darn… why couldn't I have been a contestant? Maybe if I had got to him sooner… I wonder if I can go through his things when he's not here, is that immoral?"

Rodney - "Okay, no more waiting! My crush is in the cafeteria now, and alone at last! It's time to ask her!"

Rodney walked over to his crush, who was sipping from a glass of milk. She had a lot on her mind, the challenge and other events had completely overwhelmed her, and now she was contemplating her next move, and what to do tomorrow.

"Hello," Rodney said as he walked up next to her.

"Oh, hello sweetheart," she said back, smiling at him. "Did you want something, Rodney?"

"Actually, yes," he said. He bounced on his feet, blushing bright red and stammering slightly. "So… like… oh wow, I should have rehearsed this."

"Whatever are you talking about?"

"You see, there's something I wanted to ask you. See, there's all these couples in the game already, and I know you're really interested in a boy too. But you see, I was just thinking… I'm in high school, just like you. And after spending so much time on the show, I can tell that people should really admit their true feelings."

The girl nodded, not sure where this was going but going along with it because Rodney being shy was incredibly adorable. "I see, I think," she admitted. "Today was pretty crazy, I had a wild ride. Wasn't all bad though…"

Rodney nodded, and then said, "Now see, I was just evaluating compatibility issues, and contemplating all other kinds of… things. I put some real thought in this, and I think we'd be really good together!"

Now she was really confused. "You kind of lost me there, hon. What are you trying to say?"

She lifted her glass of milk to her mouth as Rodney clasped his hands and asked, "Will you go out with me, Anita?"

Rodney wasn't sure whether to interpret her following, milky spit-take as a positive or negative. He waited until she was done coughing, handing her a napkin to clean up. As soon as she had steadied herself, she asked, "Come again?"

"Would you like to go out with me?" he asked again, holding his clasped hands up to his chin. "I'd really like to, I think we'd be very good together!"

"Honey-"

"See, you're really smart and nice and talented," he gushed, "and you're always so fun to be around! I always talking to you, and if you need a study partner, I could be your guy! We're around the same grade, so isn't it all okay?"

Anita stared him, and then stammered out, "But… but… I'm seventeen. And you're-"

"Age won't matter in the long run," he said, "my mom is about ten years younger than my dad, and that doesn't bother them! I really thought of this, and I thought since we have a good deal in common, it could work out. Wouldn't you like to go out?"

She was trying desperately to think of how to handle this, but his pleading eyes and earnest voice were not making it easy. Eventually, she sighed and took his hands. "Look, Rodney, you're the biggest sweetheart I know, but I don't think it really could. We do have more differences than you think, and I am interested in another boy right now. Otherwise, I would… but…"

"It is the age thing, isn't it?" Rodney asked, downcast now. His face had fallen, as had his voice and heart. "I asked Alfred about it, and he warned me it would be. He told me that would probably make you say no."

"Well, yes, that is it," Anita admitted. "Hon, the age difference isn't the same as your parents, it couldn't work out. You're still too young for me."

"I understand," he said. Guilt ate at Anita, until he managed to smile and ask, "But can we still be friends?"

"Of course, sweetheart."

She hugged him, and Rodney let out a small sigh of relief in this. "Alfred also said something about it being hard to get to first base with a girl when she has to kneel down for it. What's that mean?"

(Janitor's Closet - So that was who his crush was!)

Anita - "I think I'm going to have a talk with Alfred after this. Well, I have to admit, of all the things I thought would happen, I didn't think lil' Rodney would ask me out! He's such a cutie-pie, isn't he? But wow… that's a first, that is."

*She sighs and looks to the side.* "He sure had his heart into it… I hope when he gets older, he gets a very nice girlfriend. In fact, I'll insist by it. No mean girl will get her evil hooks into such a sweet boy!"

Rodney - "To be honest, Anita was all I said about her, being smart and nice and talented and really pretty, but there was something else. Anita kind of looks like Gil would in a few years, and I still have a thing for Gil… oh why must love be such a hard thing? It seemed to work out so well for so many others! Darn you, timing of my birth! A few years earlier, I might have had a chance with either of them."

*He sighs and hangs his head, shaking it.* "Not my best of days… I hope no one else is having a worse day than this."

(Maclean Stadium, Near an Exit)

A few minutes later, rain poured down from the sky (almost mandatory when someone is in a bad mood). It seemed to fit the sad mood that fit most of the cast, but also was handy for making things more dramatic. This was fitting, especially since there was a heated argument going on.

"You owe me, Maclean," Alejandro exclaimed, poking the host. "I did everything you wanted, I made your drama! And then your stupid assistant exposed me!"

"That wasn't my fault, and this isn't my problem! Besides, you didn't break up anyone, that was the deal," Chris snapped back. "As far as things are going, Bridgette is still technically with Geoff, and Leshawna and Harold are still together. You failed."

"I only failed because of the interference! Dios, do I still get a bonus for interfering with the game like you asked me to do?"

"No, I need that money now," he replied with a bitter grumble. "I gotta actually pay Chef now, or he'll ruin more things for me."

"He's not even a real chef," Alejandro shouted indignantly, but the host ignored him and started to walk away. "You cannot deny me this, Chris! I still get to host the bus of losers!"

"Of course you do. But I doubt I'll call on you again, since you've been exposed and all. Sorry, Al."

"Don't call me that," he hollered. The handsome teen huffed in fury and punched the nearby exit door. "Dios mio, this is such-"

"Aww, ya mad?"

Alejandro whirled around to see who had approached him. The person responsible for the sinister votes, including todays, was standing there. "Ya mad, aren't ya?" the person repeated.

"What the hell do you want?"

"Oh, I just came to rub it in your face that you lost. You, Al, thought you were going to rule this contest and manipulate us contestants; however, seems your evil, ugly side has been exposed."

"I don't have an ugly side! And I'll get Chef Hatchet for exposing me, just you wait!"

"Heh, really? Because it wasn't just him, it was me."

"What?" Alejandro whipped around, his eyes widening in shock. "You… you helped him?"

"Of course I did. You see, he really wanted his paycheck, and I knew from the beginning you were on Chris's side. And Chris would have to give him his paycheck if Chef was going to ruin all his special plans to cause drama; so I gave Chef the idea to use the footage you so generously provided yourself instead of what Chris wanted."

"But… why'd you expose me? What did I do to you?"

"How cute, you're acting hurt; a great manipulator, upset that he was exposed by a better one."

"I don't have to listen to any more of your crap," Alejandro shouted, glaring down his exposer. "If you think you can best me, just you wait until you see what I am capable of-"

The exposer, fed up, punched Alejandro in the throat. As the evil teenager gasped for air, his attacker grabbed the back of his red vest and pulled him to the exit door. Outside, the muddy ground and the drizzling rain were a dramatic touch for a dramatic scene.

"Alejandro Burromuerto, you are relived of your duties as a manipulator," the exposer said, and then threw him face first into the mud. As Alejandro sputtered and gasped for air, his outer added, "Go back to the bus, and try whatever you can to patch yourself together; just know that I'm the manipulator of this show, not you."

The door slammed shut, leaving Alejandro alone in the mud and rain. Drenched, soiled, and still coughing for air, he glared at the door and sputtered out, "You… you haven't heard the last of me! I'll get you… I'll get all of you!"

He struggled to stand up and stumbled out into the street, where he was promptly hit by Duncan's Bus of Losers. Duncan stepped off the bus and looked down at the injured teen in front of his now-dented bus. "Oops," he said, then called back into the bus, "You were right, Hannah, we do need new wiper blades!"

"… Ouch," Alejandro whimpered. "I think you broke something."

"Yeah, sorry about that, Al, but you should get on the bus now. I gotta take some of these people to the blimp's air strip, and I got a little lost. That's why I had to double-back here; by the way, have you seen Sierra?"

"… Pain… agony…"

"Oh, walk it off, Al." [2]

(Room 7 - Noah… ?)

Noah looked around the lonely room, now devoid of all four of its original members. "Well, this is kind of depressing," he admitted aloud. "Jasmine, Joel, Justin, and Katie… all gone. Remind me to never use seven as a lottery number."

"Are you talking to yourself?"

He whirled around to see Courtney come into the room, carrying a bunch of suitcases with her. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "This is my room… in a sense!"

"I thought it was empty now that all the people here are gone," Courtney admitted. "Look, I'm moving my stuff in here, and I brought Crystal and Cody's stuff too. They lucked out by being on that overnight blimp cruise, and I am not spending a night alone in the same room as Colin."

"Fair enough, I'll just keep a taser with me in case you try anything at night."

"Har-freaking-har."

"Thank you, I'll be here all week," Noah said, then watched as she dropped all the suitcases in a heap. "Look, not that I care, but Geoff bunks here too, and I don't want there to be drama-"

"Geoff?" Courtney declared. "He owes us an explanation! Where is he?"

"And there will be drama, huh? Figures."

(Room 3 - Colin.)

"Thanks for letting me crash here for the night, dude," Geoff said, nervously peeking out the door. "I was so lucky to see Courtney go to that room, I might have had to fess up!"

"Whatever, dude," Colin responded as he lay down in his bed. "Just looking out for ya, since you're helping us vote off losers and all."

Geoff didn't respond, he just collapsed on the other bed. Staring up at the top bunk, he became lost in thought, wondering what he could do to finally confess to Bridgette, if he actually could, what he would say, and if he had already lost her. Had he lost her? He felt miserable at the thought, even more so when he thought it could be another guy. Were the rumors true about her and Harold?

As he thought about all this, he wondered what Bridgette was doing, and what she was thinking right now.

(Blimp Ride)

Bridgette was sitting at a table, looking at the rain fall down outside of the blimp through the tinted windows. It looked beautiful in the moonlight, and the gleam from the light inside the cabin's diner, but she was busy thinking about Geoff.

The other couples looked happy, which was a welcome sight to Bridgette for such a miserable day. Daisy was seriously flirting up Yoshi, Gwen and Trent were all sweet too. Eva and Cody were talking, as were Crystal and Xander. Sadie and Zachary were also talking, but Bridgette didn't think that was truly a good couple.

Then the surfer girl was distracted when Chico stood on her table, lighting the candles. He produced his top hat and accordion again, and grinned at her. Bridgette couldn't help but smile at the cute critter, and motioned for him to carry on. Chico nodded at her, and began to sing again as she continued to think about Geoff, Leshawna, Harold, and everything else that had happened since the season had started.

…

"u'll fynd enchantment herez

teh nyght will weeve itz magik spell

when teh wun u wuv iz neer

o dis ez teh nyght, an teh heavins r ryght

on dis wuuuuuv-weeeeeeee bellaaaaaaa naaaaaww-teeeeeeeee!"

…

…

…

(Voting Confessionals)

Xander - "Harold asked me to get my team to vote for Justin, if I could; said something about Justin being a major slacker, but I'll bet it's also to save a certain blond surfer gal. Hey, personally, I don't want Bridgette to leave either, and after that Alejandro jackass, I think we've had enough pretty boys here, huh?"

Geoff - *sobs* "Justin, okay? Justin! Here's another uncool notch on the bummer belt I am tightening around the gut of my despair! Dudes… I cannot take this!"

Izzy - "Izzy have wonderful time! I kiss boys, I kiss girls, I have romance and love! I feel refreshed and full! Oh, and I vote for my evil ex, Justin, because that's what I wanted to do. Also, I promised Valerie too; maybe she senses his evilness too!"

Arthur - "Yeah, Xander said something about a request to vote for Justin? Funny thing is, Valerie came to me and tried to make me do the same thing! Just what's going on here? Anyway, voting for Justin."

Sakaki - "Um, I was requested to vote for Justin. I don't really know why, but I'd really rather not argue."

Harold - "I vote for Justin, because I won't have him slack off entirely and then try to vote off Bridgette! I have beseeched whom I can from both teams. No one votes off a friend of mine while I'm around!" *He gets pumped, and displays his ninja moves, accidentally hitting the Fame Town CD and breaking it.* "Oops."

Heather - "I gotta agree with Harold on this one. Justin did nothing during the contest, so I'm voting for him. Sure, I'd love to vote for Valerie, but I think she'd survive it."

Valerie - "I talked to some people, and I got them to vote for Justin; what good is a hot boy when he doesn't do anything, huh? But personally, I'm voting for Bridgette. I'm gonna scare that surfing bimbo, and give her something else to think about besides her wrecked relationship with a boy too hot for her! Maybe when they finally call it, I'll get me some party animal…"

Bridgette - *in tears and trying to compose herself* "I… I cannot take this anymore! I'm voting for myself! Maybe… maybe I'll get some answers if I get out of this awful contest!"

Justin - "Bridgette's been fooling around with Harold, Alejandro, what more? I'm voting for her."

Lindsay - "I… I… um… I…"

*She pauses, and then lets out a wail.* "I can't remember who anyone is! I got so many different requests from everyone, I don't remember any names! It's so hard to vote for people when there's so many names going around!"

…

Votes:

Xander - Justin.

Geoff - Justin.

Izzy - Justin.

Arthur - Justin.

Sakaki - Justin.

Harold - Justin.

Heather - Justin.

Bridgette - Bridgette.

Valerie - Bridgette.

Justin - Bridgette.

Lindsay - Abstained. (Cannot remember anyone.)

…

Justin - 7.

Bridgette - 3.

Abstained - 1.

Voted Off - Sandra, Duncan, Jasmine, Daisy, Owen, Trent, Hannah, Howard, Joel, Katie, Beth, Justin.

…

Janitor Closet's Decorations to Date - Broken Fame Town CD on the shelf.

…

[1] - In case you cannot tell, Chico the Raccoon's love song is Bella Notte from Lady and the Tramp.

[2] - I'd really like to say to all of Alejandro's fans that I am sorry. But sadly, I cannot say that, because I freaking enjoyed it. *evil grin*

…

Next Up - This VR's going to be super.