A/N: All good things to those who wait! I hope this update proves that to be true. As always, Review! Review! Review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
The look on Draco's face nearly stopped her heart.
He seemed moments away from being sick at the speed at which she could practically see the cogs in his head working.
He knew.
He knew what it was.
And suddenly her own errant thoughts along these lines seemed all the more plausible.
Perhaps Draco wasn't the only one about to lose the paltry breakfast they'd just had.
"Not here." He murmured looking away from her before his eyes grew foggy.
She watched him with concern as he shut his eyes and seemed to focus on finding a rhythm to breathe.
It didn't seem to be working from the way his fists clenched beneath the table.
She moved her hand beneath the table and gently covered it over his.
"Draco?" She whispered looking around the table noticing only Theo and Harry were paying them any attention.
Theo had a questioning look on his face and she knew without a doubt that he was aware that things weren't quite right.
Harry.
Harry was sharply studying them in between keeping conversation with Ron.
What an interesting combination they made.
Draco's breath hitched as he opened his eyes, alert once more as they settled on her.
"Not here Hermione." He said breathlessly, "Please not here. I have to go."
Her eyes widened, and without a word she stood and gave him time to do the same before wedging her shoulder beneath his arm and pulling him towards her.
He sagged slightly, but remained relatively upright as she walked them out of the hall drawing some attention at their quick escape.
She hardly cared what they thought. It honestly made her more angry than anything else.
They'd been here for days bordering weeks, and still the novelty of having what were once high ranking members of the enemy camp amongst them still hadn't faded.
Neither had some of their own misplaced hurt and hatred for Theo and mostly Draco.
It hadn't actually occurred to her until she'd been walking down to the small reference archives on base and passed two girls gossiping in the corner and it had all suddenly been all to clear to see.
They thought her mad for staying so close to him...being so close to him at all really. They couldn't understand how she, Hermione Granger, could somehow lose all sense to take up with a Death Eater.
Even one who was a turncoat.
A fact still much debated amongst them.
The one girl had merely shook her head with pity that Hermione caught from where she was huddled against the curve of the wall listening in.
I'm not sure I could be so compassionate. It's just an act really, offering him comfort until he kicks the bucket. He's obviously not doing too well so it won't be long now.
The other had snorted declaring it all to be fate before they'd drifted further away and she could no longer strain to make out what they were saying.
She'd felt ill, angry, and seconds away from taking off after the two and hexing them until they saw stars.
But she hadn't.
A soft hand had curled around her arm and held her in place.
Luna.
Her pale blue eyes had been clear, calm, and knowing.
'There's always going to be someone. Who thinks he is less. Someone who will use him to bear all the blame. He's always going to be seen as the villain.' Luna had said.
Can you live with that? Will you always defend him?
The question didn't have to be asked for her to know the answer.
Always.
She straightened her shoulders as she ignored the last of the looks and they made it out into the surrounding corridor making toward her room.
It wasn't long before they were there and Draco broke away from her, stumbling before he began pacing and muttering to himself.
"Draco."
He didn't turn and her chest tightened at the level of tension that was beginning to build in the room.
Whether it was from magic, anxiety, or simply fear she couldn't be sure, but all of them were surely represented.
She strode over and caught Draco's face with her hands, cupping his jaw and willing him to meet her eyes.
"Talk to me love."
Or she may very well die from heart failure because of all the stress this situation was causing.
"I… I can't. They have to know. If I'm right...they have to know." He said.
She shook her head.
"We'll call a meeting later, but now...right here. Draco just talk to me."
He let out a sigh, shaking against her.
One of his hands came up to cover her's and he squeezed it before pulling away and rubbing his temples.
"He was researching blocks in that year before...it's not exactly unbinding, but the principle is the same. You force a disconnect and the magic can't morph according to command."
Her heart pounded and unbidden her mind conjured up an image forcing the words out of her mouth before she could fully comprehend them.
"Harry. Could he…"
Draco looked pained, wincing before he dropped his chin in a small nod.
"It's what he must have done to Potter, but he...he has to have figured out how to...do it for real. all the way. It's why he guarded the parchments. And there was talk last year while I was out that he disappeared with a few recruits and they never…"
Draco heaved, his breaths panting as he trembled where he stood.
Something in his eyes told her he was being pulled away to somewhere else, but he shouldn't...couldn't afford the stress of a vision now.
"So we're fucked." He muttered, tugging at his hair.
"Even if we can reverse Potter's problem, the minute we meet him in battle he can do it again. Form an entire boundary that would disrupt our cores and leave us defenseless."
"Unless we do it too."
His eyes snapped up to hers.
He was already drifting, and this time she wasn't quick enough to draw him back out before he fell.
His hands went up to cover his ears and fist through his hair as he fell to a crouch on his knees. He'd retreated into his own head, and it was hard to find a way to get him out of it now.
He shook, his body barely holding his weight on his knees as he rocked back and forth hunched over his body.
Hesitantly, she came forward, deeply frightened that the wrong move or a stray word could suddenly make this situation more dire.
"Draco?" She called out softly.
He gasped, his eyes shutting briefly before opening with little drops of moisture clinging to the edges.
"Please." He murmured, not focusing on her, "Please no more. I don't want to see anymore."
"Draco."
She crouched down to level with him and nearly fell over at the sob that shook him.
"No. No." He said, his voice edged higher and his eyes shutting once more as tears began to streak down his face.
"Please stop." He whimpered.
She murmured calming words as she slowly reached out to touch his hands. The minute her fingers brushed his skin, he jerked and cried out in pain.
Immediately, she withdrew.
"Draco." She managed to say against the lump wedged in her throat, "Please come back love. Please look at me."
Draco didn't seem to hear her. He was too lost...too far gone to hear much of anything.
"What do you want from me? I can't. I can't do it."
Again, she tried to reach out to comfort him, somehow physically pull him back to her, but she met with the same response.
Draco shrieked, falling back and drawing his knees up and curling into himself.
"Make it stop." He sobbed pitifully as his tears continued to fall and…
Oh Merlin.
He was bleeding now; a long thin line from his nose dripping over his lip.
He coughed, burying his head into the little ball he'd made of his body.
She stumbled to her feet, summoning her wand to send a Patronus when the door to her room opened and Theo came in with Harry and Padma, who immediately joined her beside Draco.
The girl had a vial in her hand that she recognized as a Draught of Peace. "You have to get to him." Padma said firmly, "Reach out to him."
She shook her head.
"It...It hurts him. I can't…"
"He's bleeding Hermione." Padma interrupted harshly, "He can't last like this."
She nodded dumbly before reaching out and prying Draco's hands to his sides, murmuring comforting words in between her shaky breath and her vision blurring from her own tears.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry love." She whispered as Draco shook and struggled against her until Padma seemed to be able to reach him and feed him the draught.
He slumped, falling so that his head was pillowed by her shoulder, his body still twitching in lingering pain as he cried against her.
She couldn't bring herself to move as she snaked her own arms to hug her middle watching as Harry and Theo pulled Draco up and deposited him on the bed.
Padma was running diagnostic test and then summoning various potions as she worked.
"He said he needed different ones." She croaked pulling herself to her feet. She wavered for a moment, and Theo was immediately at her side to steady her.
Padma looked up and nodded.
"I can see that." She murmured glancing at her spells before her expression softened as she turned to her once more, "He's alright. Just a flare up probably brought on by stress."
She nibbled her lip.
"Is he…"
"Ugh." Draco shifted on the bed, bringing his hand up to rub at his face.
She bit her lip watching him as he blinked his eyes open and glanced at them all.
"Fuck." She heard him breathe out lowly before struggling to sit up.
She wanted to go to him. She did, but that entire event and the stabbing pain at her touch hurting him kept her firmly in place.
Padma didn't seem to have such qualms. She gently helped him up, lowly explaining things as she went.
She wasn't really aware of it though. She was lost.
In her mind.
In the action of simply standing.
In Draco's eyes as he looked at her in confusion.
Why couldn't she go to him?
Padma finished quickly, with orders for extended rest before leaving her with some potion instructions.
Still she couldn't move, and Theo hadn't moved from her side.
Frankly, neither had Harry.
As she was thinking it, Harry cleared his throat as though ready to excuse himself when Draco spoke.
"Wait."
Draco shot Theo a look who after a second pulled the ring at his finger, murmuring to himself.
The Protean Charm.
He was calling the others.
Whatever Draco had seen, whatever he thought he'd figured out; he seemed to know for sure now.
Satisfied with Theo, Draco turned to Harry.
"I know how to help you Potter."
He'd like to say the story was easier to tell the more he delved into it.
It wasn't hard to see why.
The faces of everyone present was twisted in horror as he explained all he remembered as a researcher and the bits and pieces he'd heard through the two years he was on the rise.
He could barely meet Pansy, Theo, or Blaise's gaze. He'd kept so much to himself over years. The rest of those in the room; Weasleys, Luna, and other stray Gryffindors that had made rank in the Order seemed unsure how to express this dump of knowledge he was leveling them with.
At some point, his voice gave out and Hermione seamlessly picked up where he left off.
She outlined their suspicions of what had happened and how they needed to learn to do the same or at least counteract it.
Protective runes.
She was arguing that they may have the most success with that.
They were simple. Relatively easy to imbued with magic and could be done before hand.
It would be faster with runes too.
To try and recreate the same technique the Dark Lord had done would take them months…
They didn't have months.
Not after what he'd seen.
That mole in the order was about to lose their usefulness and consequently their life.
He wouldn't wait long after that to make his final move.
He let out a breath before summoning a piece of parchment and one of Hermione's muggle pens and began to draw.
He didn't know why the movements came so easy when he'd barely glimpsed the rune in memory, but it was instinct and he wouldn't argue against it now.
"This is it Potter." He managed against the tightness of his throat charming the paper to fly over to the other man, who snatched it eagerly.
Hermione glanced at the sheet before looking at him longingly.
But not coming to him.
That hurt.
He couldn't think of a single thing that would force her to remain so far from him.
"We need to research it a bit to confirm, see if there's a corresponding spell." Hermione said lowly before turning her gaze from him and back to her friend.
"But Harry, we'll have to carve it into you."
Potter shook his head, his expression set.
He almost admired him for keeping his composure.
Carving in a rune was irreversible and painful.
"What's one more scar?" Potter said with a rueful smile.
Ginny was at his side then, threading her hand with Potter's and squeezing tight as she whispered in his ear.
He ground his teeth and looked away quickly.
He took a calming breath before he spoke again.
"There's something else."
He felt their eyes return to him and he physically had to force his heart from racing as he spoke again.
"There's another horcrux."
The room grew silent.
"Impossible."
He looked up and noticed the trio looking ill to the point of collapse.
"He couldn't have split his soul into more fractions. He couldn't…" Hermione gasped, wrapping her arms around her middle.
He wished he could take it back, say it wasn't true, but he couldn't.
He'd seen as much.
"Perhaps you miscounted...destroyed something that wasn't actually a horcrux, but rather a decoy." He said hoping to reason with her when he found he didn't have the energy to stand and go to her himself.
She shook her head, her curls falling softly to her back as she chewed her lip.
Potter met his gaze before he let out a huff of breath and began to recount the horcruxes.
"Riddle's Diary and Slytherin's locket."
"The Gaunt ring." Weasley said in a hushed whisper.
"Ravenclaw's Diadem." Hermione choked out.
"Hufflepuff's cup."
"Niagini."
He straightened.
"That can't be right." He said.
Harry crossed his arms. "The snake was. I could sense it."
"It's extremely unstable to turn a living being into a horcrux." he countered.
Harry clenched his jaw.
"I was a horcrux."
He couldn't help it then, a smirk broke across his face.
"And you'd call yourself stable?" he said a brow raised before he broke out into a thin laugh at the growl Potter sent his way.
"Harry's right. Why is it different in a living organism?" Ron said.
"Because you can give them access…" Hermione finally chimed in and meeting his gaze, "To magic and movement."
He nodded before turning to Potter. "He didn't know he made you right? It stands to reason then that you were an exception to this case, but creating a horcrux in a living organism is tricky. It can drive a wizard mad if done with intent."
He let out a breath.
"If the snake was a horcrux, the Dark Lord's will would have no real competing mind to gain control. He'd be completely autonomous within the snake. Then, following the logic that the binds of magic to a living organism are easier to alter than an object…"
"It could have fled the snake." Hermione finished, her face flushed at the implication and rush of academic discussion.
He nodded.
"So we have to find what it fled too."
They all seemed to agree that the place to start would be with Longbottom, who was currently in Ireland.
He worked in the long term unit the Order had set up and occasionally he did field work in the area.
In other words, they would not be able to reach him for a day.
It was frustrating, but the end was in sight something that seemed to at least brighten everyone's spirits.
There was a plan now.
A route to the finish line that they could follow and be done.
Draco slumped against the headboard as he watched Hermione usher the last of the members of their unofficial council of war out of their room.
She shut the door, leaning on it heavily as she looked back to him.
They stayed like that for quite a bit. Enough for his frustrations to spill over and guide the next words out of his mouth.
"I'm not contagious you know. You don't have to stand so far from me or be afraid of touchign me." he said not even bothering to mask his bitterness.
Hermione flinched and to his surprise and everlasting guilt, she began to silently cry as twin tracks of tears fell from her eyes. She moved and sat on the edge of the mattress before touching her fingers to the soft skin on the back of his hand.
"It." she struggled to speak, "It was hurting you before. I didn't want to hurt you again."
He furrowed his brows in confusion before what she'd said finally hit him.
During the vision or episode….
He turned his hand to grasp hers before pulling her to him.
She didn't resist, instead falling easily to rest her head on his chest as she continued to softly cry against him.
"I'm ok love. You're not hurting me." He whispered, kissing her hairline.
She shook her head.
"Maybe I'm not hurting you, but." She hiccuped, "But you're not ok."
She hugged him tight, pressing salty kisses down his jaw and then on his chest as she dropped her head and shook in his arms.
"Don't leave me Draco. Please don't."
His breath hitched.
"Never. Not if I can help it."
"But..but you might not be able to." She whispered looking up, "You've had it once and that decreases your chances by 20% and to begin with they aren't…"
He didn't think before he pulled her to him, angling her by the jaw to cover her lips with his.
He wanted her to stop.
To stop worrying.
Stop talking.
To understand what he hoped he was telling her with this kiss.
"Love." he murmured, not moving more than to breath and speak softly against her mouth.
"I'm sick." he began, willing himself not to tear up so he could focus on rebuilding her , "But they can treat it. It's so much better than when I had it the first time, and I made it through then."
She pulled back, her hands cupping his face so that her thumbs could trace his cheek.
"Promise." She bit her lip.
"I promise." he whispered before pecking her lightly.
"Ok." She breathed, nestling in his arms as her eyes dropped wearily to close.
He smiled slightly, hoping all the while that he hadn't just given his word in vain.
He let out a breath before dropping into a more comfortable position and joining Hermione as their breaths evened out and they fell asleep.
Hermione woke to the sensation of coldness.
She shifted, not quite wanting to tear herself from the blissful comfort of sleep just yet. Her arm went out and she found the sheets cool and more importantly empty.
She shot up and frantically glanced around before her heart stilled at the note that was placed on the side table.
She unfolded it quickly before wasting no time getting to her feet and heading down the hall.
He was right to be restless, but christ he'd scared her for a moment.
She cast a quick heating charm as she began the quick climb up the steps to the surface.
The charm had been a good idea.
The air was brisk, making her eyes water and her face cool at the sensation of its touch.
Draco wasn't far from the entrance of the cabin, huddled on the last step glancing up at the splash of stars that had come out as the sun set.
He didn't turn to her, but his posture straightened as he moved to the right to make room for her.
She sat down, snaking her arm around his waist.
He felt cold, but he didn't seem to mind it.
She let her fingers play against his sweater before she silently extended her own charm to him.
He smirked, but made no comment.
"The note was a good idea." she said softly. "I was so worried when I didn't find you."
He dropped his arm to rest over her shoulders and hugged her closer to him.
"I figured." he said.
She followed his gaze heavenward and smiled at the brightness that was nearly glowing in his own eyes.
"Mum used to say they were my stars." He whispered, leaning the side of his head against hers.
"Said that they were the right of every Black."
"Is that why you always took Astronomy?" She teased.
His lips twitched into a half smile.
"I'd be lying if I said it wasn't part of the reason." He said dropping his eyes to glance over her before drifting back up to the sky.
"Is it strange...I don't think about them like the myths do. I see the stars and remember the people I knew." he said idly running his fingers over her shoulder as his grip tightened.
"It's a beautiful tradition." She murmured in reply.
She licked her lips that were quickly becoming chapped from the cold.
"Will you continue it?"
He dropped his head back down to look at her and after a moment's deliberation he reached to the collar of her shirt and pulled the chain out from beneath it.
He studied the stone pendant before looking up to meet her eyes.
"If you'd like us too."
She flushed, a sappy grin spreading across her face.
"How many?" she whispered.
"At least two." He let out a breath, pressing a light kiss to her temple.
"First one, boy or girl?"
"It doesn't matter, but probably a boy." He chuckled, "My family always has boys first."
"He'll probably look just like you." She said playing with the strands of hair on the back of his neck, "All etheral coloring and with eyes people get lost in."
He shook his head.
"I hope he has your smile."
"I hope he has your dimple."
Draco blushed lightly, so faint she was sure in any other light she would not have caught it.
"Your freckles." He murmured kissing the bridge of her nose.
She wrinkled her nose.
"Really?"
He barked out a laugh before tiredly slumping against her.
He hummed an affirmative before letting his lids drop.
"That's how I'd want it to go." he murmured.
She kissed his cheek.
"It will." she said firmly. "You said it yourself."
She waited. She needed him to say. She needed to hear it once more to remember it as true.
He blinked his eyes open, and her breath caught at the swirl of emotions playing out freely across his face.
He looked so determined.
He looked like hope.
And just like that. She no longer wanted him to say anything at all.
Not to force anything on him.
Not to make him say anything he had no way of controlling.
But she could say it for him.
"You will." She kissed him softly.
He smiled into her kiss before breaking away and beginning to point out constellations he'd always liked and cheekily telling her to make notes of names she liked.
She dropped her head onto his chest, enraptured at the flush of his cheeks and cheery air he still seemed capable of conjuring no matter how down he felt.
It was then that it really hit her that the prospect of having children at all no longer seemed to spark a sense of forebearing and anxiety in her chest as it once had when the matter had come up a lifetime ago at the Burrow one summer.
No.
Now, it didn't seem to matter to her if she had a hundred children, and she named each one of them after a star.
What did matter was who she had them with.
She stole a stray glance at Draco.
It definitely mattered.