17
I woke up with Dean beside me. "How you feelin', gorgeous?"
"Better." I replied with a smile as I rolled onto my back.
"And your cuts?" He asked.
I held my hand toward him and he unwrapped the bloody bandages. My arm still had blood smeared over it, but the cuts themselves were fully healed.
"That is awesome. Seriously, does this healing thing work both ways?" He asked, running his thumb along my palm.
"Yes, but it takes a lot out of me. More than forming the dagger did."
"Good to know. Why don't you take a shower and get cleaned up. I'll run and get us some coffees."
I nodded and he got out of bed and got dressed. I went and took a shower, relishing in the hot water as it washed the stained blood from my skin. I was at the counter blow drying my hair with a towel wrapped around me when Sam knocked.
I set the blow dryer down and opened the door.
"Good morning." I said softly.
He stepped forward and took my left hand and checked it and smiled tenderly as he kissed my palm and brought it to his cheek. I wrapped my hand around his neck and kissed him briefly.
"Good morning, to you too." He said with a smile.
I walked past him and to my bag I had put on the dresser and got clean clothes. My clothes from the night before were in the trash with the bandages since they were covered in blood as well.
I pulled out clothes and started getting dressed as Sam sat in a chair at the table looking at the dagger. I didn't bother to go into the bathroom, I didn't see a reason.
I was buttoning my jeans when Dean came in with a tray of coffees for us. He wrapped his free hand around bare stomach and kissed my cheek. I took one of the coffees as he walked over to Sam.
I set the coffee down as I pulled a tank top over my bra. I set out a flannel long sleeved shirt that was blue and black matching my black tank top. Then I sat on the edge of the bed by the guys in the chairs, coffee in hand.
Sam handed me the dagger, "So, why is it that in all the books Bobby has, there is no mention of you, your abilities or this dagger?"
"Well, part of writing history is hiding the truth, is it not?" I replied.
"So, your story, your history, all of what you've accomplished is supposed to stay hidden?" Dean asked. "'Cause that sounds like a lame deal."
"Why? I'm not in this for glory or recognition. In all my lives it has been about protecting and being with those I'm bonded to. I'm literally in service to you two." I said pointing the dagger at each of them.
"Okay, while that is a really… hot idea to think about, your the one with the abilities. You'd think somewhere down the line someone would have written about you or documented something." Dean said leaning forward on his knees.
"I've never gone out into the world and bragged about this in my past."
"Alright, but the ones that your bonded too, why is it them?" Sam asked. "There has to be a pattern to it somewhere."
"There is. In every life, the two I've been bonded to have needed me and they've usually been warriors of some kind." I closed my eyes and sought the images out. "Gladiators, fighting for freedom. Knights, fighting for the weak. Regular men just fighting for their beliefs. Or mostly, hunters like you, fighting the darkness and evil in the world."
"You'd think there would still be something documented." Sam added.
I opened my eyes and looked at him, "Do you think you two are the first hunters to face down an apocalypse? Because there have been countless attempts, and dozens of hunters throughout history that have stopped them. They aren't in history texts."
"And you've been there every time?" Dean asked.
I shook my head. "No, I haven't. I also haven't always succeeded in my task."
"Well, that's comforting." Dean added leaning back.
"It's the truth. And from what I can tell… you two are some of the most danger attracting magnets out of all my lives. My biggest test yet. You've already proven to be more stubborn."
Sam chuckled, "So, what does that mean for you?"
I took a deep breath and felt in my very soul, the truth. "This is my final life. I won't be returning after this."
"How can you possibly know that?" Dean asked.
"I can feel it. This is do or die for me, literally." I said glancing at my dagger in my hands.
"So, the cycle ends with us?" Sam asked softly.
"it also began with you." I said, then paused and tilted my head wondering where that thought came from.
"Wait, what?" Dean leaned forward and eyed me.
I shook my head and then closed my eyes and went back to where it started. Filing through my many memories easily now.
I saw Sam and Dean, they weren't called Sam and Dean back then. They were brothers that had fallen in love with me and had decided to fight to the death for my love, but I wouldn't have it, so... I killed myself, or something, it was hard to tell. I made a sacrifice so that they would no longer have a reason to fight. It was a selfless act, out of pure love for both of them.
When Aphrodite had resurrected me and blessed me, the brothers had united in their love for me, understanding that they both needed me and I needed them. We fought the evil that threatened the world and died together, after a victory.
I opened my eyes. "That's how this started. The three of us. And that's how it's ending this time."
"So, Dean and I… we've lived a past life?" Sam asked in disbelief.
"Just the one, at least with me." I said softly.
"Alright, enough depressing talk." Dean said. "Let's go get some food and hit the road. Get back to Bobby's and figure out our next move now that we have the dagger."
"Fine by me." I said and got up and put my boots on. We loaded up.
I stood outside the impala with the dagger in hand. The town was quiet out here on the outskirts where we had chosen to stay, so there was no one around.
Dean closed the trunk and walked around to me.
"Wanna see something?" Asked handing him the dagger.
"Um, alright."
"Toss it. Hard as you can." I smirked.
"Um, seriously?" I nodded.
He shrugged and tossed the dagger till the blade was in his hand he lifted his arm over his head and tossed it. Sam was beside us now.
I willed the dagger back to my hand.
Dean turned toward me, "Okay, now… how the hell?" he said as I held the dagger in my hand again.
Sam took the dagger from my hand and tossed it again. I merely willed the dagger back to me and it materialized in my hand.
"That is so awesome!" Dean said.
"Wait." I closed my eyes and willed the dagger to disappear and it vanished.
"What'd you do with it?" Sam asked.
"I guess you could say I sheathed it. Now…" I ran my right hand down my left arm and 'unsheathed' the dagger and it appeared in my right hand.
"So, you can hide the dagger at will and retrieve it… that's… convenient." Dean said.
"How far can you retrieve it from?" Sam asked putting his hands in his pockets.
"Doesn't matter." I said with a shrug as I sheathed it.
"Let's say you're thrown into the depths of hell…" Dean raised an eyebrow at me.
"Been there, done that. Easy. The dagger's a part of me, literally. I can retrieve it from anywhere."
Sam and Dean stared at me, "Wait… you've been to hell?" Dean asked.
"In a past life yes. Now can we go get some food?" I asked, opening the driver's side door.
Sam smiled and walked around to the passenger's side as I slid into the middle and Dean followed behind me.
We went to the diner for breakfast. I sipped on coffee and ate fruit while the guys had full plates of french toast and eggs.
I sat beside Sam, Dean across from us.
Sam talked about a phone call he had received from a fellow hunter friend of their dad's he was undercover at a psych ward and needed some help. Sam wanted to go, but Dean was reluctant. Eventually, we all agreed to go. Dean got up to call and let Bobby know.
Sam nodded as he sipped his coffee and wrapped one arm around the back of the booth behind me. He turned and smiled at me. "That was pretty amazing last night. I'll admit though, watching it was a bit… terrifying."
"I can understand that. I watched myself through every lifetime doing it. It's pretty terrifying."
His arm fell and wrapped around my side as he pulled me closer to him. He was getting bolder in his confidence and he was enjoying it as I was. I leaned into him and kissed him.
His hand slid up under my shirt and rested on my bare hip, his thumb caressing lightly. I leaned against his shoulder.
Dean returned and I sat up, still beside Sam, his arm still around me. "So, Bobby found a job for us. But you're gonna be sitting this one out, Dee."
"What? Why?" I asked, stopping mid way to my mouth with my coffee.
"Because it's in a psych ward. Bobby doesn't want you undercover there. We can't afford to have you… the special one, in there where they can easily use you as a guinea pig. Better safe than sorry, love. You'll still come with, you'll just be staying out of the hospital. Sam and I will do this."
"Fine, so what's going on?"
"Some place called Glenwood Springs Psychiatric Hospital where strange things are happening to the patients there, they're saying things about monsters, all of them. Hospital's covering up the deaths saying their suicides." Sam said.
"Sounds like our type of job." Sam said sipping on his coffee.
"Yup, gotta days drive ahead of us at least." Dean replied. "Besides, this'll give you the time to practice."
"Alright, we ready then?" I asked.
Dean and Sam nodded. "I'll get the check, meet you two at the car." Dean said standing up and heading to the cash register. Sam and I got up and headed out, his arm around my waist all the way to the car.
He turned me toward him and brought his lips to mine softly. I deepened the kiss and wrapped my hands around his neck, tangling in his hair.
"Enjoy her while you can, Sammy." Dean said with a chuckle, "You're gonna be spending a few days in the psych ward."
Sam pulled away and turned around, "Wait, what? Why me? You're coming too."
"Well, from a psychologist's point of view, we're all crazy." I added.
"Wait, wouldn't it actually be easier for you to be in there. You've gone to school for this you could easily act anyway you needed to." Sam added.
"Wait, I have a better idea." I said. "A way where both of you are undercover as am I."
Dean motioned for us to get in the car and we did. All up front with me in the middle.
"Alright, what's the plan?" Dean asked.
"I have my license to practice in Washington. I never followed through with setting up an office or anything, but I did complete my licensing tests as part of my graduating and being able to take the internship."
"Okay." Sam said softly.
"We go in with you two as my clients. I can make them allow me to stay and work with you there. That way we're all there to get the job done faster, with me having a placement of authority there."
"That's actually a really good plan." Dean said with a smile. "And you can manage all that?"
"I'll need a little time to prepare fake files, and some supplies, but yeah. It'll be safer that way."
"Alright, we got a plan." Dean said.
I turned around in the seat and climbed into the back.
"What are you doing?" Sam asked turning around.
I pulled my laptop out of my messenger bag that we always kept in the backseat when we drove. "I have a phone call to make. Sam, what's the name of the doctor there?"
"Dr. Adam Fuller." Sam replied.
"Alright, you two will need to stay quiet." I said as I pulled up my contact information for a doctor I had worked with in college.
I pulled out my phone from the messenger bag and dialed the number.
"This is Dr. Carlson." She answered. I had worked under her to complete my degree a year early.
"Dr. Carlson, it's Denise Cavanaugh." I replied.
"Oh, Denise, how have you been? Do you still go by Dee?"
"Yeah, and I'm doing well, yourself?"
"Good. What can I do for you, Dee?"
"I've been working a private case, off the books, as a personal favor to a fellow colleague. And I'm in a bit of a bind, seems they've kind of had a mental break. They're currently on their way to… Oklahoma. They travel a lot. I'm flying out there tomorrow. However, I need a recommendation to a psych ward. I was researching information and I believe that Dr. Adam Fuller at Glenwood Springs would be the best fit for these cases. I would, however, like to stay on their case and see it through. It's very important to me."
"Hmm, alright, well, could you tell me a bit about your clients?"
"Of course. They're brothers. Both suffer from dissociative delusions, possibly even dissociative personalities themselves. Slight schizophrenia. Narcissistic characteristics. I mean we're talking delusion where they believe that they are hunters trying to stop the apocalypse, claiming to fight demons." Sam and Dean both turned to look at me with raised eyebrows.
"Wow, that certainly does sound severe. I completely agree that Dr. Fuller sounds like a good fit. Let me get a referral sent over to him and have you stationed as their caregiver so that you can still attend them and be present for Dr. Fuller since you've been on their case. What are their names?"
I heard her typing away on a computer, "Edward and Alex Young." I replied making the names up off the top of my head.
"Alright, I'll get the referral going and give Dr. Fuller a call. When can I tell him to expect you?"
"A couple days from now, possibly earlier. I'll get them there as fast as I can."
"Alright, I'll give you a call after I talk to him. You know, if you want I could even manage to convince him to let you work further to your doctoral degree. We could use the experience toward your credits. If you would like to."
"Um, I'm not really looking to further my degree, but I guess getting the credits wouldn't hurt anything."
"Exactly, and if you decided to at some point further your degree, you'd already be one or two steps closer."
"Alright, sounds good. Thank you Dr. Carlson."
"Not a problem. Always willing to help a bright young mind like yourself."
We hung up and I opened my patient/client files on my computer from my classes and working with Dr. Carlson and started creating a fake file for Dean and Sam.
"Narcissistic characteristics, are we talking about Dean there?" Sam asked with a smirk.
"Not funny!" Dean snapped. "And since when is your name Denise?"
I laughed, "Did you seriously think my parents named me Dee? I've gone by Dee since I was a little girl. I hate the name Denise. But how did you guys not know my real name?"
Dean and Sam glanced at each other, "Guess we never thought to ask." Sam said.
"Yeah, now I kinda feel like an ass." Dean said, fidgeting.
"Don't, most people don't know my real name, I prefer it that way. So, right now I'm creating a fake file, however, some of the information I'm adding into is technically true, but Fuller will see it as delusions not reality."
"So, you really do know your psychology." Sam added with a smile.
"I do have a degree in it, so I had better."
"True." Sam added.
"Whose Dr. Carlson?" Dean asked.
"She's a doctor I worked with independently when I wanted to get my degree done faster. She offered me to take all my referrals I sent to her, since I can't write prescriptions without a doctoral degree." I kept typing as I talked, glancing up at the guys occasionally.
"So, why didn't you further your degree?" Sam asked, turning to sit with his back against the door to talk to me.
I shrugged, "I guess after a whole year of listening to people's problems and issues and drama… it gets exhausting. I made sure to finish my bachelor's and then decided to wait to see if I wanted to take it further. I just never did. Honestly, after being with you two and seeing what I have seen… being able to do what I do… I guess I'd be just as crazy as my patients from a doctor's point of view."
Dean chuckled, "That's for sure."
The car fell silent as I worked on the files and eventually my phone rang.
"Denise Cavanaugh." I answered.
"It's Dr. Carlson, Dee. I talked to Dr. Fuller, he's very excited for you to be working with him for a while and he's more than willing to take on your clients with your continued help as well. And the university has also agreed to give you credits for it."
"That's great, Thank you!"
"Of course! Just send over the files to Dr. Fuller I sent you an email with his details in it."
"Um, yeah. I'm not at my computer right now, but as soon as I get to it I will send it over to him."
"That's fine. Just so long as he has some time to review the files before you arrive with them."
"That's understandable. I'll be sure to get them to him before I catch my flight out there tomorrow."
"Perfect. Good luck, Dee."
"Thank you again."
I hung up, "All set. Dr. Fuller is prepared to work on your cases and let me stay on." I said to the guys.
"Great, plan in motion and we aren't even in Oklahoma yet." Dean said with a smile. "Bobby's gonna flip when he find out how you worked this case, from literally inside as a doctor! Don't know why Bobby didn't suggest it in the first place."
"Maybe because he didn't know I had my license as well as my degree. You can have a degree without your license to practice. Guess he figured I didn't have my license to practice it." I added.
We drove until after 1pm and then stopped for lunch. I continued to work on the files at the table. Sam leaned over my shoulder as I worked on it and charged my laptop at the same time.
We got back into the car and I sat in the back and worked. It grew dark and eventually I leaned down in the seat and fell asleep with the laptop open.
Dean closed the laptop waking me up. "Dee, you wanna stop for the night?"
I sat up and rubbed my eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I've gotta go shopping tomorrow anyway. Can't show up wearing jeans and boots."
"Got about an hour until we get to a town where we can find office like clothes for you." Sam added.
"That's fine. Just wake me when we get there." I moved the laptop to the floor of the car and laid down in the back.
Dean took his jacket off and laid it over me. I fell asleep for the drive into the town.
Sam woke me up as Dean was getting us rooms. "So, we're about three hours from Glenwood Springs right now."
I sat up and nodded. "Alright, we'll stay here through tomorrow and head there the next day."
"Alright, sounds good."
Dean came back and we headed inside. I sat at the table and continued to work on the files.
"Babe, why don't you take a break from that?" Dean asked, standing over me and rubbing my shoulders.
"I would, but I need to get them done to send to Fuller before we head there. And they have to look real."
"Alright, want me to go and get you some coffee?" He asked.
I tilted my head back and looked up at him, "Please?"
He smiled and leaned down to kiss me briefly, "Consider it done. I'll be back. Sam, you want anything?"
"Coffee too, I guess."
Dean nodded and headed out.
I went back to the laptop. I was just about finished, needed at least an hour more and I would be done.
"You do realize that this puts your career on the line, right?" Sam asked after a while.
"No it doesn't. My career is not in psychology. It's helping you and Dean."
Sam got up and sat beside me, pulling the other chair next to me. He sat down and put his hand on my leg. "That's sweet, Dee, but I'm serious here."
I looked and him and smiled, "So am I." I brought my hand to his cheek and leaned into to kiss him. His lips met mine eagerly and they parted welcoming me to him. I was very tempted to close the laptop and climb onto his lap, but I needed to finish the files and Dean would be back with coffee. I pulled away and went back to the laptop.
Dean came back shortly after that and handed us both coffees. I worked for a couple more hours, Sam beside me the whole time. Dean laid down on the bed and eventually went to the next room over and went to bed.
An hour after Dean had left, Sam was falling asleep on the bed. I quickly finished up the files and sent the Fuller and closed the laptop quietly.
Sam was leaning back against the headboard, his jacket, boots and over shirt discarded on the floor by the bed. His eyes were closed and he was breathing steadily. I quietly took my boot, jeans and overshirt off, leaving my underwear, bra and tank top on.
I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth, washed my face and comb my hair, which was amazingly softer than usual. When I returned to the bed, Sam was still asleep sitting up.
I crawled over his lap and straddled him. He woke up and sat up straighter, his hands sliding up my bare thighs to my waist.
"I take it you finally got it done?" He smiled.
"All done." I said wrapping my hands around his neck and leaning in to kiss him.
His hands slid around me and up my back, pressing me against him as I kneeled on my knees. My hands entangled in his hair as he kissed down my neck. He slipped the tank top over my head and returned his lips to my neck and around my collar bone. ONe hand was wrapped around my neck as his lips trailed kisses around the other side of my neck.
I slipped my hands down his chest and grabbed his shirt pulling it over his head. His hands wrapped back around me and his lips eagerly found mine. I gently tugged his hair back, tilting his head so the I could trail kisses down his neck, grazing my teeth gently and teasingly.
He moaned softly. "God, Dee!..." He cupped my cheek, brushing his thumb tenderly as he looked into my eyes, "I love you." he said softly.
"I love you too, Sam." I replied.
He searched my eyes for a moment and then smiled before bringing his lips to mine. I was letting the energy flow freely between us, letting myself get lost in the intoxicating amounts of pleasure, desire and passion.
Sam laid me on my back and showed me with his every touch and kiss how much he loved me.
I fell asleep in his arms after, and slept peacefully.