Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of Total Drama. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TD contains stunts performed by written teens. People who try these stunts at home will be promptly slapped with a fish.
The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - Again, I would like to point out that the Total Drama Comeback Wiki would like your help. Yes, it is ironic that I am asking for help on a Wiki that is about my stories, but as I am trying to balance this story and others, my real novel, and growing hours at work, I have found that working on the many, many areas is rather difficult; also, reading TDC makes me see all the errors I made, and that makes me sad.
New poll, as always, but a little different in that it covers one of your favorites among the characters. Now, enjoy the next chapter, and please don't ask for spoilers or when the next chapter is, because I'm not telling. I hoard such things to myself, and am selfish, greedy, and just an overall freak.
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Chapter 43 - Maclean vs. Chef Hatchet 3: Fate of Two Derps.
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(Maclean Stadium.)
(Room 1 - Alfred, Anita, Arthur, Belinda.)
Anita looked at herself in the mirror that her roommates had set up. As usual, she was wearing her purple tube top and black mini-skirt, with her red thong underwear visible to all. She sighed as she put on her jacket, and looked at herself some more.
"No," she said to herself in despair, "the jacket makes me look even more like a streetwalker."
She took it off and threw it away, accidentally hitting Alfred with it. As she apologized, he shrugged it off, and said, "What's the problem, Anita-kun?"
"It's these stupid clothes," she said, shaking her head. "I hate wearing them so much."
"You could always take them off if you don't like them."
She stared at him for a second, then chuckled and said, "Oh, you funny boy."
Arthur rubbed sleep from his eyes, and asked, "Look, I have three younger sisters, Anita, and I can tell this was brought on by something big."
"You mean that Eva got to go on a romantic blimp ride with Cody, and I am having trouble getting his attention?"
"And you think the clothes are the problem?"
"It's a girl thing, hon," Anita said with a sigh. "But hey, you want to wear as little as I do?"
"No, no! I'm quite comfortable in normal clothes."
"Elegant," Belinda commented. "You're the only one who can say that, since Alfred and I wore about as much last contest."
Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Yes, I'm the only one decent here, apparently. Look, I'll distract Eva when they return, Anita, you aim for Cody."
(Room 2 - Bridgette, Carol, Clive.)
"Oh Billy, what a pity, let me have my turn," Carol sang as she tied on her headband, "you took me by the heart when I saw you intern…"
She stopped singing as she looked at Clive, who was still lying down. "You seriously gonna stay in bed all morning?"
"I prefer it."
"No way, mister Clive! You're gonna enjoy it! C'mon, let's go have some fun!"
She grabbed Clive and lifted him up over her head, cackling wildly. "This gets the Carol Seal of Approval!"
"I'm perfectly capable of walking," Clive said from above her head.
"You like that Seal of Approval thing? I made it up just now! I do new things all of the time!"
"How about doing the new thing of putting me down?"
"No, you put yourself down enough. Now cheer up!"
Carol began to twirl Clive around, then set him down to dance. He was starting to wonder if she wanted to be a police officer or cheerleader, psycho version of either.
(Room 3 - Colin, Geoff.)
"Dude, cereal in here?" Colin asked Geoff, frowning at his roommate as he applied gel to hair spikes.
"Can't risk being seeing in the cafeteria. Gotta eat in here, then get to the arena without anyone noticing."
"People are going to think you're paranoid if you keep this up."
"Who said that?"
Colin rolled his eyes and prepared his hair more. If his new roommate was going crazy, no skin off his back.
(Room 4 - DJ, Eva.)
DJ fed Bunny some lettuce and seeds, which it gobbled up happily. Nuzzling his pet rabbit, he baby-talked it to the point where trying to write out what he was saying would just embarrass him.
He finally did talk normally to Bunny, which was still crazy because it was an animal (and it wasn't Groucho or Chico). "Well Bunny, today's another day, another challenge. Following the pattern, it'll probably a VR game. You know, with the zombies and vampires and other monsters that are really scary…"
He sighed and sat on the bed, stroking the creature's soft fur. "Why did I ever sign up for this show, Bunny? I'm terrible at competition, and this new stuff is scaring me. Can you imagine me fighting against monsters and such?"
Bunny made a squeaking noise and he sighed again. "Wish you could talk, little buddy. Seems most animals are doing it nowadays, the sweet lil' critters."
(Room 5 - Ezekiel, Gwen.)
"And that's when I whipped out my E-Tool, and I pounded that terrorist scum's face in!"
"That's lovely and everything, Groucho, but I doo'nt recall asking you a'boot such a violent ordeal."
Groucho the Duck shrugged as he waddled behind Ezekiel. "Just getting you pumped, soldier. Big challenge today, and you have a reputation to keep up. You're good at these VR challenges."
"They are more bearable than most, yes," Ezekiel said, "but how do you know?"
"I'm very good at intel, got me some tips on the next game. Want to hear?"
"No no, I'd rather not cheat," he admitted. "I just need to knoo' moo'r a'boot things like girls, eh.
"You're asking the wrong duck, my good sir."
(Room 6 - Harold, Heather, Izzy.)
"And that's when I broke out my satchel, and walloped that scoundrel's face!"
"That's nice and all, Heather, but I didn't ask."
Izzy and Harold chuckled as the former queen bee sulked. "You two are always going on about fighting others," she protested, "and when I actually have a story of some creep sneaking in the bathroom, you two aren't interested?"
"I am a lover, not a fighter," Harold said, "and I only fight in self-defense."
"Lover is right," Izzy said, grinning at him. "What's going on between you and Bridgette?"
Harold's face went bright red, his eyes widening behind those tinted panes of glass. "Wha… what? Nothing! We're friends! She's taken, I'm taken, happily taken!"
"Methinks he doth protest too much," Heather said as the girls chuckled.
"Why must you two torment me so?" he complained. "I am a decent man, I would never do anything to hurt Leshawna, or my friends' relationship."
"I guess it's more fun to tease you about it," Izzy admitted, "until something even more silly is to be found. And speaking of silly, did you know I found this purple bra in the room next to us?" She held up said undergarment. "I thought only boys were in Room 7!"
(Maclean Stadium, Arena.)
A couple limousines arrived at the arena, and all those who had been on the reward blimp, and still in the contest, ride leapt out from the vehicles. Chris Maclean stood there, smiling and looking Chris-like.
"Welcome back, all you lovely love birds. Hope you enjoyed your brief time from the cameras, but now you have to get ready. Change, shower, put on make-up, all that good stuff, and prepare for another challenge in a couple hours."
Cody was busy talking to Eva when Courtney showed up to tell him and Crystal where they were living now. Sadie and Zachary were having a long conversation that they ended when she got to her room. He said, "See you at the challenge," and waved good-bye. She giggled and went in her room.
(Room 7 - Noah, Cody, Courtney, Crystal.)
"Crystal, have you seen my purple bra?"
"Hon, I just got here."
"Well, I cannot find it anywhere, and I was really hoping to wear that today."
The two girls looked around the room as Noah lay face-down on his bed. The very annoyed bookworm muttered, "Are you two quite aware that I still live here?"
"We're not gonna dress in here," Courtney snapped, then added, "Pervert."
"Quit flattering yourself, I'm talking about how I have to deal with women's underwear scattered across my room."
"It's not gonna be that bad, chap," Crystal assured him. "We'll clean up! Besides, we'll have Cody living here soon enough, and that'll help things."
"That'll help the stupid rumors continue, it will."
"You still harp about that?" Courtney asked, shaking her head. "Seriously, get over it."
"I will when Crystal stops talking about NoCo!"
"I say, I don't do that! … Well, a little."
(Room 8 - Leshawna, Lindsay, Mandy.)
Mandy was alone in her room, feeding her rats and snake (which were kept in opposite cages for obvious reasons). She sighed as she fiddled with her terra twist ponytail, glancing at her cell phone. She had a picture of Alfred on there, posing for the camera in his normal way (goofy).
"What do you guys think?" she asked her pets, who were also of the non-speaking variety. "Should I consider dating a mortal? Is it worth it?"
Snowflake the Rat shrugged his little rat shoulders, and Mandy grumbled, "Yeah, well, one day you might meet a cute rat, and then who you gonna turn to for advice?"
(Room 9 - Rodney, Sadie, Sakaki.)
Sakaki and Rodney were talking about his little ordeal with Anita last night when Sadie burst in, singing happily. The cheerful girl picked up Rodney and danced, swinging him around like a streamer.
"Good date?" he managed to ask as she swirled around with him.
"One of the best I ever had," Sadie exclaimed. Sakaki watched the swinging in horror, covering her mouth and praying Sadie's grip would not falter. When she finally did put down Rodney, Sakaki barely managed to let out a sigh of relief before Sadie started dancing with her.
"Glad you had such a good date," Sakaki whimpered as she was forced to dance more with her energetic partner, "but seriously, I'm not much of a dancer!"
(Room 10 - Sebastian, Tyler.)
"wheeeeeee," was Chico's happy cheer as he ran into his room, jumping in the pile of garbage that had heaped in a corner. He threw pizza boxes and trophies around, shouting, "wut a wunderful dayt dat wus! u 2 shud haf seen eet!"
Sebastian and Tyler exchanged glances, then looked back at the raccoon. "Was your date really that good?" Sebastian asked. "Bridgette enjoyed herself? The blimp was a nice enough dating spot?"
"You live in here?" was all Tyler asked.
(Room 11 - Valerie, Xander, Yoshi, Zachary.)
Valerie hadn't seen any of the boys arrive, barely seeing Xander and Zachary. Yoshi did arrive in the room and was quickly going through his things.
"There a reason you're in such a rush?" she asked him.
"I want to get out of here before Zachary arrives."
"Are you two having another fight or something?"
"No, but I suspect one. Every time he looked over at Daisy and I during that trip, he got this really foul look on his face, and I don't want to put up with it right now."
"I see. You know what's up with Xander? I barely saw him arrive."
"Beats me, but I don't think his date went well."
Valerie shrugged as she grabbed her bathrobe and towel, heading out towards the shower room. She was surprised to see a long line of all girls waiting outside, including Leshawna, Lindsay, Bridgette, Crystal, Gwen, and Eva. "What's the hold-up?"
"Someone locked the door," Leshawna grumbled.
"I really need to shower," Lindsay wailed, feeling her hair. "If I don't shower soon, like, my hair starts to cry! I can hear it, it's around my ears!"
"I guess someone was just shy," Bridgette said.
"Who could blame a girl in this competition?" Gwen remarked. "Guys can be such perverts, and these are practically co-ed shower rooms."
"Seriously, boys are like that, aren't they?" Eva remarked. "Not like us girls. We don't act helpless just because there's someone attractive around."
"Too true, dear," Leshawna said. "But what can you do when you have a whole bunch of boys like that?"
The door to the shower room clicked and opened, and Xander stomped out. He was soaking wet, naked except for a towel around him. "Oh for crying out loud," he shouted, "Zachary! Did you lock the door on me? And where's all the hot water? How can we be out of hot water so soon?"
The handsome biker teen then noticed all the girls lined up outside, staring wide-eyed at his semi-naked, dripping wet body. Eva and Lindsay were suffering arousal nose bleeds, while Leshawna was trying hard not to stare and failing. The only girl he seemed interested in, Crystal, was looking away as if in shame.
"Sorry, ladies," he said quietly, and walked off, combing a hand through his hair and sighing. The girls all managed to recover, and Bridgette turned to Crystal.
"Did something happen?" she asked. "He seems to be in a bad mood."
Crystal slumped against the wall, and nodded slightly.
(Janitor's Closet - Finally making an appearance after all those rooms!)
Xander - "Crystal admitted that she doesn't want to hook up with me on that blimp ride. Still wants to be friends, still wants to hook me up, but not wanting to date me." *He sighs, then lets out a small chuckle.* "I've actually never been rejected before… time to take it like a man. But man, she was such a fine bird."
Crystal - "Oh bloody hell, have I made a mistake? I didn't want to hurt him, I really didn't! But I joined to help pair up people, and I cannot do that if I'm involved with a boy! Even one as nice and handsome as him… such is life."
...
Chico the Raccoon - "an den i sung 2 Breejit: i dun wanna close mah eyes / i dun wanna fawl ahsleep / cuz i'll mees ya bayb / an i dun wanna mees a thang!"
Chris Maclean - "In case you are wondering, and I know you were, we do not have any footage of the blimp reward. Sad for all you who wanted to see more, good for everyone who didn't want to listen to that critter's yowling!"
Chico - *He pops up at Chris's feet, holding up the CD of Fame Town.* "HA! who iz teh yowling wun now, eh?"
Chris - "Give that back, you walking fur hat!" *He and the raccoon wrestle for the CD.*
(Maclean Stadium, Cafeteria.)
Breakfast was the usual calamity, when you get thirty-one teenagers, one kid, a raccoon, and a duck in one place at the same time.
Xander was being comforted by Alfred and Anita, while he kept insisting he was fine. When Cody and Eva came into the cafeteria, Anita looked unsure until the biker nudged her and encouraged her to go after him.
Crystal was confessing her worries to Bridgette. Harold was heading towards Leshawna when he stopped at them, smiling as he asked, "I just have to ask you, Bridgette, what was the date with the raccoon like?"
Even though he and Crystal chuckled, the surfer girl looked nervous suddenly. "Um, it was… something," she said, glancing repeatedly at him, around the cafeteria, and anywhere else she could nervously glance at. "I… he… it… oh my! I just remembered! I forgot to put on my make-up!"
"But you don't wear make-up," Harold pointed out, but Bridgette had left, flustered and covering her blushing face. The nerd sighed and looked at Crystal. "Am I being too forward or something? Gosh."
"I wouldn't say that, chap, but she's got worried about her mate and all things considered, it might be a good idea to stick your distance from her," she suggested. "If you think your manly good looks are that avoidable, you used to say stuff like that all the time the last couple seasons."
"That was before I lost faith in my mad skills and such," he admitted, then sat down next to her and clasped his hands in a pleading stance. "Please! Tell me how I can make things better with Leshawna!"
As Crystal tried to calm him down, Courtney watched Gwen from afar, suspiciously spying. "So," she asked Yoshi, who had sat down next to her by coincidence, "did she and Trent get along all right during that trip?"
"Yes, perfectly," he replied, munching on his cereal.
"You didn't get the impression they were gonna break up at all, did you?"
"I was more interested in my date than the others, Courtney."
"Damn it, I need to know," she exclaimed, grasping his vest and shaking him. "I have to know once and for all if that goth girl is not into Trent any more and is into Duncan!"
Yoshi wrenched her hands off his clothes, and then replied snidely, "Why, you interested in Trent and want him?"
"That's not funny! How could you make such a joke?"
Sebastian, who was passing by, said in passing, "Calm down, Courtney, the whole cafeteria can hear you."
"If you were as upset as I am, you would be loud too!"
"Those loudest aren't necessarily the ones in the right."
Leaving with that choice bit of philosophy, Sebastian missed the look of surprised realization on Courtney's face as Yoshi added, "He's right, you know. Zachary's always shooting off his mouth, and he's wrong most of the time."
(JANITOR'S CLOSET - LOUD IS WRONG?)
Sebastian - "Seems that all the worry these days is over relationships and such. I never knew a reality TV could cause such strife in a relationship, but then again, I never thought reality TV was any good at making relationships; hard to be serious when you have a camera shoved in your face most of the time."
Yoshi - "I'm still one of those who are here to compete, why do people keep insisting on getting involved in romantic schemes? I can deal with things like Alfred asking me details for how things are going between Daisy and I, but I'm not going to scout others! Ask someone who's more subtle than the guy who carries a sword around him!"
Cody - "I gotta say, the date on the blimp was rather nice! Never thought a blimp ride could be so nice… come to think of it, I always thought the same about Eva, but turns out, she can carry a conversation quite well!"
Eva - "Yeah, I can talk to people. What makes you think I have a hard time at conversation?" *She cracks her knuckles, the vibrations from each one making the camera shake.*
Izzy - "Random randomness randomly happens in randomization!" *She juggles a bowling ball and a few bowling pins before she drops the bowling ball, and it halfway imbeds in the closet's floor.* "Random whoops."
Chef Hatchet - *He stares at the bowling ball that's smashed into the floor, and wails.* "I just tidied this closet! Can't you stupid teens keep a closet clean for five minutes?"
Carol - *She is plucking petals from a rather large, petal-full flower, throwing them on the floor as she continues to sing.* "So c'mon, give it to me, Billy, I can be your gal / any way you wanna, get my Seal of Approval / please baby please, don't make me yowl!"
Bridgette - *She is trying to apply eyeshadow, but pokes her eye and wails, throwing the brush away in frustration.* "I cannot take this! I've been such a burden to my friends and their relationships, I cannot find Geoff anywhere, and I cannot even put on make-up! What kind of freak am I?"
(Maclean Stadium, Arena.)
As the contestants poured out into the arena to the loud cheers of the audience, they all gathered up in front of Chris and an upset Chef Hatchet. The host was busy appealing to the audience with waves and blowing kisses, so it didn't start off at first. This gave Gwen time to notice her friend Bridgette rubbing her sore eye, and quickly headed over to her, using a handkerchief to wipe off all the make-up that she had badly put on.
"You could have just asked me," Gwen said. "You made yourself look pretty silly, Bridge."
"I didn't want to bother you, you seem like you have enough troubles," she admitted. "And I thought it wouldn't be so hard."
"Believe me, Bridge, eyeshadow is not something that's easy to put on; I would know, the first few times I tried, I looked like I was staring out of a charred log."
As Gwen finished cleaning up her friend, Chris barked out a laugh. "Campers, I have a couple surprises for you! First off, we have our own Wiki page!"
"Oh goodie," Noah groaned. "Complete strangers are going to update facts about us, and go pondering about things we'd rather let go for years."
"Wikis are like the ultimate trivia list," Harold said with a knowledgeable wheeze. "They would be good if you ever were quizzed on the subject."
"I used to update Wikis," Carol admitted, "until I learned the hard way that opinions from fans don't count as canon, especially when you go insulting the favorites.
Chris Maclean cleared his throat. "Um, as I was saying, we have our own Wiki site, so we need your help to update it!"
"You cannot ask some of these people to update a Wiki on us," Courtney exclaimed. "Some of them, like a certain goth girl, would degrade people and ruin their pages!"
"And some judgmental CITs," Gwen snapped back, "would become power Nazis with admin powers and run it like a dictatorship!"
Chris raised an eyebrow, and said, "Okay then. I guess we need you," he pointed at a camera and smiled, "to help us with the Total Drama Comeback Wiki! We'll be rewarding you in the same amount we reward our interns!"
"None at all," Billy the Intern hollered from afar.
"That's not true! Well, since we do charge them admission to be in the stadium that they are interning in, the paycheck comes out to about… nothing. But hey, think of the honor, and how cool you'll be at school, when people find out you help on the Total Drama Comeback Wiki."
"Someone sold their soul tonight," Noah grumbled, "and it smells like death. Death being resurrected through necromancy, only to sell the soul again. I cannot wait to hear the next surprise, I wonder if we're giving away t-shirts." [1]
"Thank you for bringing that up, cynical jerk," Chris said cheerfully. "We're gonna start what I call… Mind Reader VR!"
That did not sound good for anyone. Most teenagers knew if their minds were read, people would be disgusted. Gwen dropped the cloth she was using on Bridgette and exclaimed, "Wait a minute! What are you talking about?"
"See, Vera here," Chris said, gesturing to the giant VR machine, "has to get into your minds in order to put your minds into the VR. So, we've collected a bunch of memories from you all that stand out so wonderfully."
"That's an invasion of privacy," a great deal of the contestants shouted in unison.
"Go cry some more," the host said cheerfully. "You all owe me some drama after all the trouble and grief you've caused me, and it's all in your contracts. Super-duper extraordinary fine print!"
Gwen scooped up the rag and chucked it at him, though the flimsy cloth only managed to hit the back of Izzy's head. When Bridgette tried to comfort her, she walked off muttering, "Don't mind me, just pissed and busy and all."
Chris clapped his hands and said, "And so, we'll be playing, before each challenge, a good memory and a bad memory from you all! Isn't this exciting?"
"Only for you," many of them replied in frustration.
"I would think Joel," Noah grumbled, "would turn off such a feature if it had one."
"I turned it back on," Chris said cheerfully. "Any other questions? No? Good! Let's begin with our good memory!"
He held up a remote, pointed it at Vera, and pressed one of the many buttons. The screens lit up, a little static buzzed, and every contestant prayed it wasn't going to be them.
(Vera - Good Memory)
Two kids were playing video games inside a room full of text books and notepads. The girl was beating the boy, who looked to be Rodney about a year ago.
"Aw, you're too good at this game, Gil," Rodney complained as he jerked his controller around, wincing as his character got pummeled. His friend, who looked only a few years older, snickered and tossed her hair behind her shoulders.
"You're just not aggressive enough, my little friend," Gil said, smirking slyly as she finished the fight. Setting her controller down on her legs, she smiled triumphantly and said, "Ten wins in a row! How's being beaten by a girl feel?"
"Not bad," Rodney said. He was beaming at her, and shyly blushing for reasons known only currently to him. It became obvious enough when he leaned over and kissed her cheek, then pulled away and said softly, "There's your reward for kicking my butt so often!"
Gil looked quite surprised, rubbing the spot where he had pecked him. She then blushed on her own, grinned, and seized his face in her palms. He only had time to blink before she kissed him on the lips, a couple seconds long before releasing. "And that's your reward," she whispered, "for being a good sport about it!"
She giggled and turned back to the TV. "Now then, up for losing eleven times in a row? Rodney? Rod?" Gil glanced back at him, and saw he had swooned and fell on his back, staring blissfully up at the ceiling.
(Maclean Stadium, Arena.)
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW!"
The chorus of girls, and some boys, was practically deafening, especially from the contestants. Rodney's face, which had gone from pink to red to scarlet ever since the memory clip had started, was now taking all new shades of red. He pulled his helmet down over his eyes at first, but now was just using it cover his face instead of his head.
"Who was this Gil, hmm?" Sadie asked her roommate.
"You gotta tell us more," Leshawna gushed. "That was the cutest scene ever!"
"No wonder he has a crush on you," Alfred said to Anita, "you look a lot like that girl too… hey, do you have any pictures of you at seven? Maybe we'll know then!"
Chris Maclean chuckled, shaking his head. "Struck gold on that first one. Anything you want to say, lil' Romeo?"
"I think," Rodney squeaked from behind his helmet, "that I am going to die from embarrassment."
Carol picked him from behind and spun him around. "He's growing up so fast! So seriously, why'd you turn him down, Anita?"
Eva snickered, and glanced at Anita. "Yeah, he'd be a good fall back for you."
As the two girls glared each other down, Chris cleared his throat with the aid of a megaphone. "Now then," he said, "we got the good memory down, and since you girls have stopped gushing, we can go on to the bad memory."
"We're still gushing," Mandy exclaimed, waving her hands frantically.
"Yeah, yeah, still going on about the kid," DJ cried out. "No need to bring up bad memories!"
"Too late," Chris said, holding up the remote again and hitting another button.
(Vera - Bad Memory.)
The room was almost too dark to see in, save for the moonlight that shined in romantically (or spooky, depending on the movie genre you're used to). Peculiar, wet sounds were emanating from the room as well, including some human grunts and moans.
The answer to the question of what was going on was given when the door to the room swung open, light pouring in the room as a man entered, shouting, "Hey, do you two hear that noise-"
Heather and Ezekiel were caught in a compromising situation of cuddling on his bed. He had one hand cradling the back of her head, and one up her pajama top. She had one of her hands down the back of his pajama bottoms, and one wrapped around his back as she was cuddled up close to him. Both had frozen mid-kiss as Ezekiel's dad stared.
"Oh, that's what that noise was, eh," he said, laughing and slapping his knee. "I thought the plumbing of the hoo's had gone awry!"
"What is it, eh?" Ezekiel's mom scooted past her husband, only to see her son and his girlfriend trying to get untangled from their compromising situation. "Oh my!"
"Heh heh, how a'boot that, huh Cynthia?" Ezekiel's dad said, nudging his surprised wife. "She's even wearing his hat! Ain't that cute or what, eh?"
"I'm just glad they're still wearing clothes in general, dear."
"Mom," Ezekiel sputtered out, bright red. "C'mon!"
"Sorry, dear. Let's get 'oot of your hair then, but you two better behave y'oorselves!"
"We… we will," Heather stammered, correcting her clothing.
"Hey, do you really do that French kissing stuff?" Ezekiel's dad asked. "I heard kids do it these days, but I doo'nt-AWK!"
Cynthia grabbed her husband's ear and pulled him away, saying, "And I'll make sure he behaves too, eh," before she closed the door.
(Maclean Stadium, Arena.)
"D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWW," Izzy exclaimed, hugging the brightly blushing Ezekiel from behind. "Got a romantic moment spoiled by the parental units, eh? Haha, that's so cute!"
"It was not cute," Heather shouted, also blushing redder than anyone had ever seen her blush (if they could recall her blushing at all). "Chris Maclean, I am so going to sue you."
But Chris was too busy laughing his ass off to hear her. Ezekiel was being comforted by his friends as he pulled his his toque down over his eyes and most of his face. While some comforted Heather, her biggest supporter was Rodney, who offered his helmet so she could hide her face better.
When the humiliation had died down (or rather, when Chris was done laughing like a ninny), the host of the show cleared his throat again, but this time because he actually had to. "Now then, we've had a good laugh, we're all ready for the next challenge? It's a VR game!"
"Told ya," Groucho said to Ezekiel, patting the embarrassed teenager's foot in comfort.
"And today, are you all ready to be… SUPER?"
The audience went wild, and so did a good deal of the contestants. Harold and Cody led the cheers, while Arthur tried very hard not to look excited. Anita clapped excitedly and asked aloud, "So we're going to be superheroes?"
"Did I say 'hero'?" Chris said, flicking her nose. As she glared at him and rubbed her sniffer, Chris wagged his finger. "No no no! I did not say 'hero,' but some of you will be heroes! Because everyone knows, those super aren't always good!"
"Ohhhhh," Lindsay exclaimed, "I get it! Some of us are going to be bad, aren't we?"
"Yes," Chris grumbled, very bitter about being cut off again. "Yes you are. Because some of you," he pointed at the group of teenagers and shouted, "some of you are evil at heart! Sinister and vile, dark souls that dare not show your true colors to the world, tainting good people like yours truly and little children like Rodney!"
Snickers erupted among the contestants, which upset Rodney. "I'm not a good person?" he asked sadly, misidentifying the snickers for him. As several girls comforted him, Chris continued.
"We are going to be dividing you al into two groups: half of you with be super heroes and the other half will be super villains. And thus, you will fight each other in a battle of super heroes and villains the likes of which certain comic book series that I cannot mention safely without worry of being sued, has never seen before!"
He pumped his fists and hooted in delight. "Now I have a lot to go through before we all step into the VR world, so if you interrupt me, there might be consequences, like I may not take questions later."
(Janitor's Closet - Haha, we technically just interrupted!)
Gwen - "Like he ever took questions before! If I were a superhero, my first job would be to rid the world of the evil Chris Maclean!"
Heather - "Consequences? What could be more of a punishment than him just revealing one of the most embarrassing moments between Ezekiel and I to the entire world?"
Ezekiel - *covering his eyes with his toque* "Please God, take me noo', eh. I'm joo'st lucky I have amazing parents…"
Rodney - "I miss Gil. She was a superhero to me. I'm pretty sure she could kick Chris Maclean's butt… she knew martial arts, and I think that's when I started to wear my helmet, because I was afraid a practice punch would knock my brains out."
Anita - "Superheroes and heroines are the most awesome thing, men and women who kick butt, take names, and wear awesome costumes! My ex-boyfriend Leo, he thought they were kind of silly, but he did mention wanting to see me dressed as Wonder Woman. Hehe, he was so sly at times; wonder if Cody knows Wonder Woman." [2]
"Now, like I said, half of you will be heroes," Chris was re-explaining, "and the other half villains. We have a couple things to make sure you all actually compete just in case you are having to fight someone you like on the other side; we cannot have you all not punching in each other's faces over things like feelings.
"One of two ways we'll get you all going is that we are going to use Vera's controls to make you, in the VR, a little more aggressive than normal. It won't affect you in real life, which we truly want to avoid because of how volatile you all can be.
"The other is a fabulous prize we're offering! The winning team is going to be taken, via limousine, to the most fancy restaurant around here: the wonderful five-star Eat At Maclean's!"
The contestants all blinked, and Gwen asked what they were all thinking, "You're… not joking, are you?"
"With all the awesome publicity the Maclean Stadium has, we decided to branch off and continue the trend! The first Maclean's Restaurant is open and running, and has, I have to say, deliciously-awesome food! I'm not exaggerating, this is where I eat while you all have the cafeteria!"
He laughed and rubbed his belly. "Ah, I'm hungry just thinking about Eat At Maclean's! And trust me when I say that all the stops will be pulled out for romance tonight! Romantic music, romantic trimmings, romantic upgrades! It makes me wanna kiss someone now!
"And no, before you ask, I will not have you taking anyone from the losing team as your date! You can have any of the losers voted off be your guest, but not the losing team! No exceptions, even if the person you're dating is on the opposite team! Tough luck!"
"Then what's the point of a romantic night out?" Alfred asked his nearby friends Yoshi and Sebastian. "Seriously, I hope the food is good."
Chris Maclean licked his lips and swooned over the thought of good food again. "Ah, that breakfast I had this morning, I treasure my new restaurant. And it's so easy to remember what it's called because of the catchy name!"
"Eat it, Maclean," Gwen shouted impatiently.
"Yes, exactly," the host said with a laugh, only half-listening. "Now then, the goal of this VR game is that there is a powerful relic known as the Gemstone of Power Amplification, and everyone wants it!"
"The GPA," Noah repeated.
"Indeed. Everyone wants a good GPA, because this baby will increase a super being's power a million times fold! Your goal is to find where the GPA is and claim it as your own! Thus, your GPA will be known throughout the world, and you'll win the game for your team!
"Now that's not going to be easy, seeing that the other side is looking for it too! If a hero gets it, the heroes win. If a villain gets it, the villains conquer the world with their GPA!"
"You can't," Izzy said with a proud smile, "I already tried that."
"Seeing that every good team of heroes and villains needs a leader, we will have one for each team. I will be leading the heroes, and before you all object," he said, shaking his finger at the objecting teenagers, "I have laid my cards on the table, and if I lose, I have to eat at your cafeteria tonight!
"Which of course, leads me to announce that Chef Hatchet will be leading the villains," he chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "But of course, I'm sure you all could see that coming!"
"I see them more as an evil tag team," Anita whispered to Cody, "Chef feels more like the powerful henchman."
"I see him as more of a number one," Cody replied, while Eva fumed and felt left out.
Chris pointed at Vera as he continued his explanation. "Now our beautiful machine here will, at the start, place all of you in random locations around the gigantic city we will all be starting it. Many different locations and places, I'm sure you all will want to wreck some havoc with your new powers, but remember your goal!
"And speaking of powers, you will all be given some time to mentally decide on your powers, costumes, and super names! Forget any notion that you can go God-mode with your powers, we're not having anyone who could one-hit Superman! In fact, we're not having a lot of Superman supers either, you cannot have incredible powers and one very rare weakness."
"Now, I'm pretty sure that's it! Am I forgetting anything?"
There was silence, and then he poked in the ankle by Groucho, who was glaring up at the host. The human glared back and said, "I don't care how much you want to lead, you're not in this game."
"Not that, maggot! Who are the heroes, and who are the villains?"
"Oh. That. Yeah, that's fairly important. Right, I was going to announce, the heroes and villains are going to be decided by the fair, unbiased…
…
…
…
"Me!"
As many protests were let out, the host tut-tutted them again. "Now look, I know I want to win, but I'm not doing this by means of who is the best and who is the worst. No no, I am being completely fair by choosing who would truly be a superhero, and who would be a super villain!"
The contestants all exchanged glances at this, wondering if this was for the best or worst.
(Janitor's Closet - Now a Super Hero!)
Leshawna - "You couldn't trust Chris to be unbiased even if he was reporting the weather!"
Groucho the Duck - *brushes off some of his loose feathers and grunts* "I wonder if I could pay Maclean to stand at the wrong end of a shooting gallery."
"Shall we begin with the ladies?" Chris said. "Ladies first, of course! Now then, who's a hot heroine, and who is sexy evil?"
He glanced at the contestants, and grinned when he laid eyes on Lindsay. "You, Lindsay! You're definitely a hot blonde heroine, you're good!"
As Lindsay clapped and cheered, jumping up and down in excitement, Chris pointed at Anita, who was standing next to her. "And you're evil, Anita!"
"What?" she cried out in shock. "Why?"
"Because you've got the dark hair, and everyone knows that the evil women have dark hair."
"That is so not true."
"Oh, yeah? Name one dark haired heroine."
"Wonder Woman!"
Chris blinked, and then he got a very dreamy look on his face. "Wonder Woman… my Amazon Goddess… oh, the love of my life when growing up!
"I changed my mind! Anita, Lindsay, you're both good."
Anita let out a major sigh of relief, and smiled sheepishly at Cody. "I… didn't want to be villain."
"Hey, who does, huh?"
Eva snarled, which caught Chris's attention. "Oh, but you're evil, Eva."
"What? I have dark hair too!"
"Yeah, but you're not hot like Wonder Woman!"
(Super Janitor's Closet - Up up and away!)
Chris Maclean - *He is hanging up a poster for Eat At Maclean's, which looks like a headshot of him, wearing a chef's hat (like Chef's hat) and grinning over several delicious-looking dishes.* "Pays to advertise, people!"
Eva - "'Not hot'? 'NOT HOT'? That's the reason that jerk puts me with the villains and that bimbo Anita with the heroes? I'll show him!" *She sees the poster, with Chris's beaming face, and…*
Valerie - *She is looking at the poster, which has a fist-shaped hole where Chris's head was.* "Good grief… wonder who was the one who did that? Well, anyway, about me, I think I have to play nice. If I want to try get ahead, I have to start convincing people I'm a nice girl."
Courtney - "I know a lot of people think I'm an awful person, and I really want to let them know I'm not that bad! So I figured if I could persuade Chris to put me with the heroes, I might get to redo my image!"
"Now who do we have next?" Chris said, looking at the contestants. Valerie was giving him the biggest, most innocent smile he had ever seen, something she had perfected over the years of politicizing at school. "Wow, who could find a face and pink attire like that evil? Valerie's good."
"Pink not evil?" Arthur grumbled. "Ever seen Galactus?"
Chris then looked at Courtney, who was also giving Chris an innocent smile, and hugging Rodney. The prodigy looked a little confused, especially when Chris started chuckling. "Yeah, nice try, Courtney," the host said, "but you're definitely a villain."
"Oh come on," Courtney protested, but Chris waved his hand. As she sulked, Rodney pat her shoulder in comfort.
Chris tapped his lips as he continued to scan the girls in the group. "Leshawna, gotta say… you're a good one. Carol, you're a bad one."
"What?" Carol exclaimed. "I'm destined to be a cop! I'm a fighter for justice!"
"Yeah, well, short shrimps like you are always evil, shortie short short-stuff!"
As he laughed, Carol's eye twitched, her hands miming pulling a trigger. "I WILL TEAR OFF YOUR-"
For reasons we don't want to get into, we won't repeat what Carol shouted, nor what hand gestures she made as Izzy held her back. Chris, hiding behind Chef in terror, reaffirmed his decision.
"Okay, speaking of psycho girls," he squeaked from behind his henchman, "Izzy and Mandy! Definitely evil."
"Whatever," both girls said at the same time.
"Gwen, Heather, you two are also psycho girls who are undeniably evil."
"Shove it!"
"Eat it, Maclean!"
"I know you are hungry, Gwen, but you mustn't overdo the advertising," Chris said, chuckling. Bridgette went over to calm down her friend, and the host added, "Well, I gotta admit, you're such a goody two-shoes, Bridgette, that I have to make you a hero.
"Also heroes because I really cannot see you two being evil are Sakaki and Crystal. Moe girls and romantics do not make good villains!"
He then looked at the remaining girls: Belinda and Sadie. "Need one more hero and one more villain. Sadie, you seem to be interested in our bad boy Zachary, so I'm gonna make you evil and Belinda good."
"How nice you are the guider of the moral compass," Belinda said as Sadie mopped.
"Yes, yes, very nice, psychic girl, but I'm done with the girls now. Time for the boys to be judged!"
Chris immediately pointed at two boys. "Cody, you're good. Colin, you're evil."
"Thank you," both said at the same time. Anita pumped her fists in delight as Eva growled and looked away.
"Noah," Chris started to say, but aforementioned cut him off.
"Let me make a wild guess. Evil?"
"You said it, not me, you back-talking little punk jerk."
"How etiquette."
"Stuff it, evil boy. You too, Ezekiel," the host shouted, pointing at the startled prairie boy. "You're evil, you plan-ruining sexist!"
Ezekiel merely rolled his eyes and hugged his girlfriend. "Hey, we're on the same team, eh," he said, smiling. "I'm happy a'boot that."
"You're not evil," she said softly.
"And neither are you, I spent a whole season proving that, eh."
Chris shook his head as he groaned over the romance, and looked over the contestants of male gender again. "Rodney, DJ, there's no doubt you both are good. So you two are heroes.
"And then there's," he spotted Harold, and grinned. A side bet he had going with Chef Hatchet involved breaking up couples, and thus he declared, "I think our cheating nerd Harold definitely qualifies as a villain, while our poor cuckold Geoff is a hero!"
This stirred up a lot of anger, mostly from Leshawna. "You take that back," she shouted, storming at Chris while her friends head her back. Bridgette looked close to breaking into tears while Harold looked devastated. "You take that back right now," she continued, "or I swear, I'll shove my superhero foot up your ass, Chris!"
"My my, such a temper for a heroine," Chris said. "Well, I'm not changing my mind. Harold's a villain, and Geoff is a hero, because of the affair going on. Right, Geoff? Geoff?"
Chris looked around, but couldn't see where the party animal was. He called out several times, but wherever Geoff was hiding, he was not coming out now that he was in the limelight. Bridgette and his friends also looked around, but couldn't find him. Chris finally lost his patience.
"Okay, I changed my mind! Geoff, since you're not cooperating, you're the villain and Harold's the hero! Yeah… that's better, because now your girlfriend is on the same team as the cheater! You like that-"
He was cut off when a shoe thrown from the group hit him on the head. Rubbing the sore part, he demanded to know who did it, but couldn't see who had one shoe on, and all the major suspects (Leshawna, Bridgette, Harold) had both shoes. With a defeated sigh, he said, "Okay, let's just move on, shall we?"
The host, nursing the developing bruise, pointed around. "Alfred, I'm pretty sure you'd be a good guy," he announced, ("Darn," Mandy and Izzy cursed) and then he added, "And Arthur, you scream villain to me."
Arthur's furious but quiet protest was ignored by the host, who looked over at Yoshi, who was scratching his head underneath the handkerchief he still wore over his destroyed hair. "Yoshi, yeah, sorry, but I'm gonna make you a villain too."
Yoshi also silently objected with a furious scowl, which darkened when Zachary burst out laughing. "Yeah, take that, white boy," he shouted. "See, you people really are villains!"
As the warrior tightened his grip on his sword's handle, Chris cleared his throat. "Um, Zachary, I'm making you a villain too."
"What? No, you can't do that! That's racist!"
"I just made Yoshi a villain, and-"
"He don't matter, you're making a brother a villain! You racist, I'll boycott your restaurant!"
Chris, fearing a boycott, looked around nervously and spotted an escape. "Oh really? If I were racist, would I make Sebastian a hero? He's a hero, you're a villain, there, we're even!"
Zachary continued to grumble more as Sebastian corrected his glasses, hiding the smile behind his hand.
(Super Janitor's Closet - Not a bird, nor a plane, but a closet!)
Sadie - "Zachary's temper really does get the best of him at times. But hey, we all do get upset during this contest, so it's excusable, right?"
Zachary - "Man, being on the same team as that dumb asian guy is almost as bad as pretending to like that dumb asian girl. Valerie better reward me for all this effort I'm putting into the alliance!"
Noah - "I'm getting awfully tired of Zachary calling anyone who disagrees with him a racist. He's that aggressive and bitter, and he's surprised about being a villain? Did his mom not hug him enough or something?"
Colin - "Man, I'm so glad I'm a villain. Heroes are pansies!"
Arthur - "I wish I had been a hero, they have the more awesome superpowers, and let's face it, the hotter gals are heroines the majority of the time. Heroes get Wonder Woman, 'nuff said. Villains get Harley Quinn, who looks like a mime mixed with a court jester who tells bad puns."
Carol - *scribbling all over the rest of the Eat At Maclean's poster with a pen* "Make me a villain, will ya? I outta become a crumb cop and shut down your business, arrogant punk!"
Geoff - "Man… I had to hide behind Vera when Chris mentioned me, I didn't want to be in the limelight! But I don't know what he's talking about, Harold's not only my buddy but he digs Leshawna! No way he'd fool around with my Bridgette, right?"
Crystal - *leans back and forth unevenly, wiggling the toes on her shoe-less foot* "I wonder if throwing shoes could be a super power, eh wot."
Chris looked at the remaining boys as Zachary continued to mutter more about racism and stuff like that. "Well, I'm gonna have to say that Tyler and Xander, you guys strike me as heroes. Xander an antihero maybe, but still a hero. And that leaves Clive, our last and least, to finish it all up and be the final villain."
"It's not worth protesting," Clive muttered as he shrugged and looked down at the ground. "I knew you'd do that to make me feel bad."
"Glad to oblige, hate to be predictable," the host said with a grin. "Okay, that means the teams are set! Heroes are going on the west side of Vera, villains on the east! When you are defeated in the game, you are allowed to watch, but we have security to prevent you from reentering the game!"
He gestured at the security team standing nearby him. Billy looked slightly surprised and looked over his clipboard at the contestants in confusion. Chico the Raccoon held up a whiffle ball and let out what he thought was a scary growl ("rawrz!"). Groucho the Duck stood at attention, and propped his grenade launcher on his shoulder.
"Okay, people! Let's get in the world of super people, and find the Gemstone of Power Amplification!"
The two teams, saying good-bye and good luck to friends and those close who were on the other side, separated to seat where Chris instructed them. The host himself and the co-host seated themselves next to the contestants, and settled in as Vera's gadgets lowered around their heads and eased them into entering the virtual world. The crowd was treated with what looked like a character creation screen that kept jumping between all the contestants.
As the teams created their hero and villain alter-egos, Groucho the Duck was fiddling with one of the consoles for Vera. Chico and Billy watched him in interest.
"What are you doing?" Billy asked the question first.
"I'm deciding who starts off with who," the duck replied, tapping the touch screen and dragging the names of contestants to each other to pair them up.
"o, wuz dat wut we wur supposed 2 do?" Chico asked. "diddant Kris ask 4 sum speshel pairingz?"
"I'm ignoring them, I'm not interested in continuing that man's fantasies."
(VR World, Hero's Side.)
A gigantic metropolis spanned as far as the eye could see, filled with skyscrapers, towers, giant statues, and other things that super metropolis normally do. It was known as Classroom City, famous for the teenaged heroes and villains that occupied it, built it, and fought in it. In the heart of Classroom City was a gigantic stadium, known as The Desk.
Chris Maclean stood in the center, waving to a wildly cheering audience. His superhero costume looked remarkably like a certain super man, but with a large C in the center of his very muscular chest.
"Thank you, citizens of Classroom City," he shouted to everyone, his voice super-powerful enough to be heard throughout the stadium without the need of a megaphone. He flexed his muscles and continued, "I will find the gemstone inside our city, as hard as it is to find a good GPA in our Classroom!"
He laughed, and then flew out of the stadium. "So says I," he exclaimed as he left, "Chris Maclean, the Greatest Hero and Man Ever!"
…
Lindsay stood on the field of a high school, looking around to see if there were any opponents or cute jocks. There was one, her one boyfriend, and both looked the part of their stereotype.
Lindsay was wearing a cheerleader's outfit that had a little bit more cleavage than normal, and was holding large, fluffy pompoms. The uniform and the pompoms were colored in the same colors as her normal clothes, red and baby blue with an orange skirt. She giggled and let out a cheer, doing about four flips before landing on her feet.
Tyler was wearing a baseball uniform and helmet, with number 01 and Sporto across the back. He held a baseball bat in one hand and a cricket bat in the other. Letting out a cheer like Lindsay, he lifted his weapons in excitement, only to accidentally hit her on the side of the head.
"Oh my gosh! Sorry, Head Cheerleader!"
"No problem, Super Sporty!"
She let out another cheer and posed, and with a flash of light and a small burst of confetti around her, her wound shimmered and disappeared. Tyler grinned sheepishly and made his weapons vanish, only to create a lacrosse stick in his hands. "It's actually Super Sporto, my Head Cheerleader. Now, let's win this for the home team!"
"Win, win, we're the winners / beat the villains for special dinner!"
…
Cody and Anita stood in front of comic book store, where the store owner and customers gushed how super-cool and awesome it would be (and one dissident who was saying how overrated it was, there's always one).
The geek sure had a fine suit, but not one for dinner. Cody had a mechanical suit that wrapped around his legs, torso, and arms, with mechanical limbs and other gizmos coming from a backpack. His hands were clad in wizard's gloves, amplifying his magic powers. He was Techno-Wizard, the blend of science-fiction and fantasy to be feared by evil and loved by good (and nerds).
Cody would have marveled over how cool he looked, had it not been for Anita. As she adjusted her headband that had the emblem of a bomb in the center, she glanced down at her outfit. It wasn't much different than her required sexy clothes, though she didn't seem to mind. It was a shiny, vinyl tube top with gold trimming, with a bikini bottom and flaps delicately draped on the sides of her legs, in front and behind. Her knee-high boots were also a shiny black with gold trimming, complete with the icon of bullets on the ankles, while her gloves were styled the same but what looked like a magnum's barrel around the wrists.
She chuckled as she looked herself over and said, "Wow, not bad. A little revealing, but I think it's okay when you're a comic book gal, right?"
Cody was too busy not trying to openly stare and drool, while she marveled his costume. "I love your idea, which I had thought of something like that. I decided to go with irony, called myself the Bombshell Babe, but I'm kind of regretting it now. You know how you feel frustrated with something and try to go with it, but then you wonder if it was such a good idea?"
He continued to stare, until she waved her hand in front of his face. Finally, she decided to go with the direct method of conjuring a bomb and tossing it to the side. The explosion snapped Cody out of his trance, and he shouted, "Bombs! I mean, yeah?"
"Let's go, we have to find out where the enemy is!"
"And I have to find out once and for all," she thought to herself, "if I can actually of interest to you, if you look through his costume, or if I am just in this show for looks."
…
Harold stood in front of a grocery store, patting one of the katana blade handles he had on his back. Then he checked the yo-yos in their holsters, the rocket boots on his shoes, and the computer scanner on his glasses. He was Uber-Nerd, a jack of all trades and an expert in all things that were considered nerdy by judgmental jerks at school and real life.
However, he was not ready to kick some butt like he normally would be, and his partner sensed it, something easy for her. Belinda hovered in front of the door of the store, then planted herself on her feet. Her cloak fluttered and shimmered to nothing, just a slight flux of psionic energy. Her costume, from her knee-high boots, pants, belt, long-sleeve spandex top, gloves, and the mask around her eyes, was all glowing faintly and shimmering. She was Starvoyant, the psionic mistress as bright and expansive as the stars in the skies.
Thus, she could sense her partner's sorrow, and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Are you still upset over what Chris said to you?" she asked. "That people will think what he says is true?"
"Are you reading my mind?"
"No, I don't do that with friends," she said. "Look, Harold, this is something you should be into, thus I will tell you something a great superhero was once told. You've always prided yourself in your charm and skills, but now you worry that they're failing you and thus you are failing yourself.
"Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. You have the power to be charming, to be a friend, and to let people know your true potential. Now harness that, and people will see the truth as well as the ability with you."
He managed a smile, and said, "Thank you, Starvoyant. Now, you ready to pwn some noobs?"
"Baby, I was born to pwn noobs. I beat them down with my mind."
…
Sebastian looked at Sakaki, who was hiding behind a fire hydrant. "You're going to have to fight sometime, Sakaki. Just remember that I'll need your help."
"You… you look very capable on your own."
Sebastian looked down at himself, wearing a sleeveless and green tank top, tight jeans, and bulky shoes. He fiddled with the gold collar that had St. George engraved in it, and shrugged. [3] "I admit, Dreadlock Kick sounds a little intimidating, but the costume isn't so good."
Sakaki mewed in disagreement. She was wearing a normal, long-sleeve shirt and pants, but her hands and feet were furry like a cat's. Her human ears were gone, replaced with little kitty ears on her head. The moe girl extended her claws, which came out at a couple feet long. "I feel silly, but I wanted something cat-themed; I really had to struggle to make me look decent… I don't know how girls like Anita and Lindsay do it, I'd die if I wore anything revealing."
Sebastian chuckled and tapped his toes on the ground, his superhero thinking habit. "You're wonderful the way you are, Sakaki. Everyone has their own ways of living, and you shouldn't be ashamed just because you cannot match others."
She blushed, flustered, and hid her face behind her paws. It took a while for Dreadlock Kick to get Scaredy Cat from behind the hydrant, but eventually, they bolted off to look for the GPA.
…
Leshawna stood on top of a hill in the park, looking over the terrain. She twirled the lance in her hand, which was quite amazing considering it was quite the giant weapon. It crackled with electricity as she stabbed the blade into the ground, and continued to survey.
She was quite the sight to behold, with black spandex trimmed with white, displaying her cleavage and her legs, while her gloves and boots were decorated with the images of rain and lightning running down them. Her headband and crest on her chest had a lance shaped like a lightning bolt, and when she clapped, a small thunder clap could be heard.
"Okay, baby," she exclaimed. "Wind's fine, cannot sense any evil! It's time for me to do justice to her sister Storm (thank you Harold, for introducing me to that cool character), and shock them all! You can come out now, DJ!"
DJ stepped out from behind a tree, looking relieved. He was wearing what looked like a track suit, with the emblem of a waving white flag on the chest. When he held up his hands, the words "PLEASE" and "STOP" were on his hands, and he had "Have mercy!" written out on the back of his suit.
As he scratched his head, Leshawna looked at him in disgust. "Dude, seriously? You're a pacifist superhero?"
"Yep!"
"Seriously…"
"The way it works is, see, I have this kind of aura around me that keeps people from wanting to hurt me. It gets stronger as time goes by."
"That may be true, because I was gonna smack some sense in ya, but now I don't feel like doing it. Now, let's go, bro, we got ass to kick!"
With a whimper, The Pacifist followed the Lightning Lancer, who lifted her lance in the air and shouted, "Bring it on, evil-doers!"
…
Xander pulled up on his motorcycle in front of the club, spinning around to a halt. As he stepped off his bike, it vanished in a puff of black mist. He brushed off his thick gloves, the chains around his leather clothes rattling. He looked like a more dark and fire-decal decorated version of himself, with a couple guns strapped to his hip and a shotgun on his back.
"Crystal, you there?" he called out.
The British girl stepped out the bar, giggling. "Sorry, love, had to pair up this cute couple in there. Seriously, you haven't seen a cuter couple of VR people before them!"
Xander sighed in regret as he looked her over. She was dressed like a Valentine's Day card, with a bright red top that had a heart decal on the chest, white gloves and boots, a long pink skirt, and a tiara with a heart-shaped ruby in the center. All of it was trimmed with white lace, and it flowed around her magnificently.
"Yeah, I guess I'll take your word for that, cute couple and all," he said.
She was saddened by his upset look, and said, "Look, Xander, I don't want things to be bad between us. You are awfully sweet-"
"Babe, you're killing my image."
"I know you're a sweetheart, despite all the leather and rebel look and tough guy deal," she said, smiling at him. "Let me assure you, Darkcycle, that I will pair you up before the contest is over. You don't want me, anyway, I'm always dealing with other people's romance, I'm too girly for you."
"You were just fine, Matchmaker."
She blushed a little, but shook it off. "I'm flattered, but I just want to be your friend and partner… in this game, I mean!"
"I know what you meant, but hey," he said with a handsome smile and a shrug, "haven't we always fought well together in these contests? Let's go, babe!"
"Jolly good! Let us sally forth!"
…
Bridgette was swimming in a public pool when the game first started, and looked to have transformed into a mermaid. Her legs had been replaced by a sleek, gray fin of a dolphin, but when she leapt out of the pool, the fin transformed into her legs. The water dripped off her body like if it was made of a water-resistant material. She was clad in what looked like a wetsuit, but there was no part around her stomach, and it was colored dolphin-gray. She wore sea green shoes and gloves, and had her hair up in an elegant bun, locked with a seashell-covered hair pin.
Clapping alerted her attention, and she looked over to see Rodney was the guilty party. The boy was still wearing his army helmet, but all his clothes were camo-styled. He looked like a US Navy SEAL, but with much more gear, as he had guns, army knives, an E-Tool, and a rifle on his person, all made for his size. He even had a block of C4 in his pocket.
"Nice jump," he said, giggling. "You really are a great swimmer, Bridgette."
"Ever the charmer," she said, smiling at him as she squat down to talk to him. He blushed, which really didn't fit his hardcore soldier look. She giggled and pat his helmet, which also really killed any tough guy look he was going for. "So tell me, is it true you tried to ask Anita out?"
"Yeah, but she said I was too young," he admitted, looking a little sad. "Shame… she's a lot like girls I like… adventurous, smart, tough… Alfred told me there were other reasons, which I thought meant that all girls have so much about them, but I'm a little confused still."
"It's okay, sweetie, you'll learn more as time goes. Just remember that Anita and us girls will be your friend, my little soldier."
"Aw, shucks. Can I ask you something, Bridgette?"
"Anything."
He bit his bottom lip and looked a little ashamed as he asked, "I'm really confused about what's going on with you and Geoff, and Harold. Is what Chris says true? Because I don't believe him, he can be a little mean at times."
"Chris is more than that, and it's not true. But it's way too complicated for, like, right now, hon," she admitted. "We have villains to defeat, so we should get going; I'll tell you more later, I promise!"
"Okay!"
Thus the Soldier Kid and Dolphin Woman headed out as well.
…
"Who's going down? THEY'RE going down! Oh yeah, we'll get them! We'll stomp them all!"
"Jeez, will you calm down?"
Alfred blew a raspberry at Valerie as he twirled a crowbar in his hand. The two were at City Hall, but neither looked the part. Valerie wore bright pink spandex that covered her shoulders and upper legs modestly, donning a cape, an eye mask, and gloves; she definitely did not look like a politician, but if there was an alternate-universe where they do, we wanna vote there more often.
Alfred did not look like a politician, but maybe a disgruntled civilian hellbent on unrest. His clothes were the exact same as his normal duds, but were scratched up and stained with dried blood. He wore on his back pack which seemed full of weapons and a first aid kit, carried a crowbar and a fire axe, and had a molotov cocktail (unlit, of course) on his side.
He grinned wickedly at her, and said, "Listen, dudette, I've just come from an alternate universe where I had to fight every day against the living dead, and I'm gonna-"
"What on Earth are you saying?"
"That's my character's backstory."
'Oh honestly. What is with you and zombies?"
As the Pink Politician walked away shaking her head, the Zombie Survivalist followed her, asking her why she couldn't lighten up for just one minute, but the politician wasn't listening to the beleaguered civilian (just like real life, *rimshot*).
(Super Janitor's Closet - It's the Closet Signal! Let's head out!)
Alfred - "I decided to mix in what I know with my powers, and also because it gives me the ability to use almost anything as a weapon! Seriously, why hasn't anyone ever thought of this before? My buddy Keith, he once tried to use a chair as a weapon, but when he swung it, the leg broke off against the floor and hit him in the crotch; I guess that's why he never moves a chair out for a girl to sit down on."
Lindsay - "Cheerleaders are the best / we will put them to the test! We are awesome with our rhymes / we get them right every day!"
Sakaki - "I like cats… but I didn't want to go with the cat girl option, because that involved fur all over my body. I thought it would be embarrassing… if I… shed around Sebastian."
DJ - "I guess it's kind of silly of me to be a superhero that doesn't want to fight. But I knew even with the increased aggression in this game, I couldn't bring myself to really hurt someone, even if I'm not actually hurting them…" *He sighs and shakes his head.* "Man, maybe Leshawna's right, maybe I am crazy."
(VR World, Villain's Side.)
In a grimy kitchen of a grungy cafeteria, Chef Hatchet, super villain named Chef Hatchet, chopped up some meat with his extra-large cleaver. He threw the chunks into a vat of green sludge, where it boiled and hissed and gurgled. Chef conjured fire from his hands to heat up the sludge, which made it change colors as it seemed to almost explode from the heat, shooting disgusting hot sludge around.
When he finished, he picked up his cleaver and heaved in on his shoulder, heading out of the cafeteria and punching a customer in spite. "Don't like the food, you still pay," he said to the unconscious guest.
He stepped outside onto the dirty streets of Classroom City, the part of town that was thick with crime and grime and rime (it was really cold there). Chef growled as he watched a raccoon run across the street, chasing a grimy newspaper.
"Look at this place," he grumbled. "Filthy. Disgusting. Dark and pathetic. Every corner is coated in filth, every nook and cranny a revolting display.
"And when I get the GPA," he said, grinning evilly now, "I'll make the whole world like it."
…
At a discotheque, Carol was beating a guy who had become too frisky with her. She was dressed like a cop, but her uniform was dark crimson, a scarlet B on her lapel (for Bad cop). She had a nightstick in her hand, a holstered gun, and a taser. After she was done with the pervert, Bad Cop threw him through a wall and walked to Geoff. Her grim attitude lightened when she saw him, giving away the fact that she wasn't really a villain at heart.
Geoff was dressed like his normal self, but his hat was shiny and reflecting light, looking like someone shaped a disco ball into a cowboy hat and put it on his head. He had disco pants on, and gloves that also reflected light around. He was Party Bash, complete with powers that were all about disorienting people and having a wild time, but he certainly didn't look like a wild maniac right now.
"Hey buddy, what's wrong?" she asked as she sat down next to him.
"It's too personal to say," he admitted. "But I'm screwing up everything."
"Want to talk? I'm a good listener."
"What about the challenge? Don't you want to win?"
"Dude, I could care less about competing as a villain. That ain't me."
She pulled out her gun and shot at some guy who was approaching the bar, three bullet holes forming in the wall behind him. "No drinking under 21, twerp," she hollered as he ran away in terror. She then turned back to Geoff and said, "Look, Geoff, you've always been a wild guy, and it's concerning me that you're not yourself. C'mon, I'm new to the game, but I can be your friend. Talk?"
Geoff shook his head. "You wouldn't understand. It's one of those things guys get that girls don't because girls don't get what guys get, even though there are things girls get that guys don't get. Got it?"
Carol blinked a few times. "Well, at least your confusing dialogue is back. Gonna tell me I shoot a gun like a guy?"
"You kind of do."
Bad Cop shook her head, tilting her officer's hat up as she said, "Look, let's just head out there and try to win this. Maybe action will get you going again?"
"Why are you being so nice? We're villains."
"No, we're not. We're misunderstood," she said as she pulled him up off his feet and lifted him over her head, carrying him out as she added, "Now c'mon, we got heroes to bust!"
…
Mandy overlooked the city from the window in the building she had virtually arrived in. The room was set up like a large, evil alter, with skulls and creepy candles and tapestries of demonic-looking beings decorating the place. She herself was done up in a flowing, dark purple dress that displayed her cleavage, which had a skull-shaped necklace dipped inside it. Her eyes glowed with shadow magic, a purple-black hue that seemed to suck the very light from the room. She held a wicked dagger in her hand, which she twirled around as she walked across the room, her boots clicking on the floor.
She stopped when she saw her partner, Colin. He was wearing a tight-fitting shirt that featured a voodoo doll being stabbed, as well as torn jeans, heavy boots, and bracelets and a belt heavily adorned with spikes. He wore gloves that looked like he had brass knuckles on underneath, and evil magic crackled around them like some short-circuiting power outlet.
Mandy was not thrilled to be his partner. She was even less thrilled when she realized what his super villain name was.
"The Hurter," she repeated, her voice echoing mysteriously. "That's your name? I knew you were uncreative, but sheesh, you really do take the cake here!"
"Shut up," he snarled, "or I'll hurt you!"
"The uncreative continues, as well as stupidity for threatening to hurt me in a virtual game. Really, it's a wonder why the Old Gods paired me, Cultist Chick, with you."
He fired a blast of hateful energy at her, which she dodged. It hit one of the skulls and it exploded in a cloud of dust and skull shards. She raised one of her dark eyebrows and said, "Better now?"
"Not really, I want to hurt someone."
"Let's get you out there and do something then, and hope your aim improves; sadly, the same cannot be said about your brain."
…
Leshawna and DJ were at one end of the large park, and two others from the other team had started on the other, two much more suited for the outdoors.
Ezekiel stepped out from behind some bushes, keeping an arrow in his dark wood bow at the ready. His face was painted with dark colors, black around his eyes and green smudges on his cheeks. He wore a ranger's jacket, shirt, and pants, and his boots were strong hiking boots.
Looking around for enemies, he nodded to his partner as he stepped into the clearing. Heather, an aggressive sight, stepped out behind him, rolling her eyes. "Is the caution necessary this early in, Zeke?"
"I caught the crackle of electricity in the air, and there's no cloo'ds above us," he said, gazing into the park. "There's someone else in the park, and I'm guessing they're not friendly, eh."
"Neither are us," Heather pointed out, extending the claws from her hand to look at them. Her clothes looked like she had treated them to the claws, as there were large scratches in her shirt, shorts, and even her catty shoes and gloves. She breathed some fire on the claws and watched them glow. "If they are heroes, I'll take care of them."
"Hey, what do you think I'm here fur, eh?" he asked, smirking at her.
"Tracking down my prey. Let's go, dear."
The Eviserator and Dark Arrow headed off into the park, him alert and her bored.
…
Zachary chuckled as he looked into the street from the back alley he had spawned in. The teenager cracked his knuckles, then tugged on the chains that were wrapped around his arms. They glowed as he activated his fire powers, and they looked like shiny gold at the temperature degree they were at. He was wearing black clothing trimmed with gold, steel, and red spikes.
"Damn right I'm gonna take care of business," he said to himself. "I'm going show the world just how awesome I am, that I don't need to be a so-called hero to do so! Now, where is my partner?"
Hot Metal Gangsta turned around and saw her, and his face fell into incredulous disbelief. Sadie was wearing gray fur-lined clothing, her hands and feet covered with fur-covered gloves and boots. She had a long tail, black and gray in color, that swished around her playfully as if it had a mind of its own. She had pointy, furry ears that replaced her human ears, and had a black mask around her eyes. She also looked close to tears.
"The Lemur?" Zachary exclaimed. "That's what you decided to be?"
She sobbed aloud and admitted, "I panicked!"
…
The next two villains appeared on the outskirts of Classroom City, on a hill that gave them a nice view. Neither was interested in the view, they wanted to go in and take care of business. The two exchanged a look, but no words.
Gwen was wearing a black robe that wrapped around her arms, chest, and waist, a long slit up the side to expose her leg which was clad in stockings that looked like barbed ivy and screaming faces. She wore knee-high heel boots, black as night, as was the handle and blade of the giant scythe she was carrying. Her eyes were inverted in color, black where they should be white and pupils a pale glow.
If it was possible to look darker and more deathly that Gwen's grim reaper get-up, it was Yoshi. His skin was such a dark red that it looked black, almost glowing with a red power that flickered around her skin like some thin line of fire. His hair was the same light-absorbing darkness, but his pupils, nails, and armor was a blood red. The layered chest armor and pants he wore seemed to glow from an invisible fire. His katana looked like fire encased inside steel, light flickering up and down the black blade at all times.
Yoshi and Gwen spoke not one word as they walked to the city. The Grim Reapette and The Soulless Blade were only interested in winning this contest, and destroying anyone in their way.
After all, these two incredibly dark and spooky villains wanted to take out a certain musician and a lacrosse player to dinner, but it didn't sound so threatening when you explained those inspirations aloud.
…
Clive was similar to Yoshi, in that he had that fire-resembling energy flickering around him, but it was black instead of red. He wore a black jacket with a hood up, and a ghastly glow came from where his eyes were, hidden in the shadow under the hood. All his clothes were black, bound together in parts with duct tape where that black energy flickered from under as if trying to escape. He was Doom 'n Gloom, an emo gone horribly wrong.
Though angst and sorrow weren't on his mind, as he looked around the gym for his opponent. He received quite a start when the ground burst in front of him, knocking him back as Eva leapt up from the busted floor. Dirt from below the building's floor spilled all over the gym's floor as Eva landed, shaking the earth.
The fitness buff had what looked like chitinous armor, the segments of a bug wrapped around her chest, head, legs and hands. Her antenna bobbed around in an almost comical manner, and she stomped her foot, the armored boot leaving a mark in the ground. Her black armor gleamed in the gym's light as she faced her partner.
"I'm with you?" she grunted in disgust. "Figures that this day cannot get any worse."
"How nice to see you too," Clive grumbled. "And you wonder why Cody still contemplates between you and Anita."
"What do you mean by that, runt?" she shouted, grabbing the lapels of his hoodie and lifted him up. "I outta…"
Clive's super power went into overdrive, and Eva was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of despair. She let go of him and feel to her knees, sobbing without tears. "You're right," she whimpered, very unlike her. "I'm so aggressive and mean… I gotta stop being like that, or he won't want to go out with me! I thought I was getting better… but…"
She stopped when Clive's depression aura let down on the angst, and she was snapped back to normal. Growling in frustration, she muttered, "Look, emo boy, just don't do that ever again to me, and I won't insult you. Fair?"
"You won't beat me outside the game too?"
"I don't do that anymore; I'm not a bully, damn it, I'm just very aggressive in competition."
"If I may ask, why the bug look? Are you an ant?"
"Ants are very strong insects," she explained. "They lift, like, I dunno, many many times their own weight. Plus the tunneling powers are nice, and I thought Cody would be impressed by how I know things are science-like like he likes and… wait, why am I discussing this?
"Why am I even talking to you?" she shouted, then ran out of the gym, grabbing the back of his hood as she dashed out at an incredible speed, him whipping around like a flag behind her. "We've got heroes to defeat!"
…
A skyscraper, one of the many, loomed over the city as the tallest of them all. At the top floor of Evil Enterprises (a name that surprisingly no one found suspicious, even with C.E.O. being Noah Evil), the leader of the corporation chuckled from behind his desk. He pushed a button on the console, activating the speaker phone with his secretary.
"Alicia," Noah said, "please summon my minions to my office."
"Affirmative, Mr. Evil."
"And find out what exactly we make here."
"Regard that officially executed, Mr. Evil." [4]
Noah chuckled as he leaned back in his chair. He was dressed in dark red clothes, almost a business suit except for the metal circlet he wore around his head, which gleamed a platinum-silver color whenever he thought hard. As he contemplated his next move, a great deal of very wicked looking mercenaries and assassins arrived in his room.
"I've called you all today for an important reason," he said. "I want all of you to fan out and find the GPA for me. Look, do not draw attention to yourself, and for sake of everything evil and unholy, do not provoke fights with the heroes. They'll kill you, so leave that to my best minion. Explosivo?"
Izzy perked up at her name being said, clapping and jumping up and down. One of the minions spat on her, staining the ash and burn covered clothing she wore, which looked like a experienced soldier's uniform. She tilted her hat down in front of her eyes, then shoved a bomb in the guy's hand. The sticky glue she had applied to it made it impossible for him to remove it from his hands in time.
There was a ghastly noise. There was a high-spirited laugh. There was a buzz from the intercom buzzer.
"Alicia, get the janitor up here. Explosivo killed another minion."
"How infelicitous, she indubitably is aggressive as well as efficient."
"One of my rules, always have your best minions go out first, not your worst and work your way up," Noah said. He glanced at one of the minions, and said, "Hear that, Steve? I'm talking about you."
"Can I go now?" Izzy asked.
"Sure, whatever. Just don't expect me, Evil Overlord, to head out there unless necessary. I suspect I will have to, though. Alicia, cancel my eight o'clock appointment."
"The conventional way, or the professional way, Mr. Evil?"
"For crying out loud, I had one group dropped in my pool of alligators, and they were representatives from Eat At Maclean's, quit acting like I do it all the time!"
…
Arthur and Courtney exchanged glances at each other when they started off in an office building. This proved to be hilarious for him, as he fell on his back, pointing at her and laughing.
"Shut up," Courtney shouted. "I thought this would be appropriate for a villain, because those bugs keep me up at night!"
Courtney was The Human Cricket, dressed from shoulder to foot in black spandex. She had antenna sticking out from her head and special feelers on her legs, but looked human in every other way. She especially looked herself as she glared at her partner and crossed her arms in frustration. "It's not like you're all that original."
Arthur stopped laughing as he stood up and wiped his tear of amusement away with his clawed hand. The steel-like claws on his hands and feet stuck out through the tips of his boots and gloves. His skin was like scales, his hair bright red and sticking up in his normal hairstyle. Even his eyes were more reptilian, and he hissed at Courtney. "Raptors are a lot more cool than crickets, Courtney."
She snarled back and struck her legs together, making a horrendous noise that made everyone on that floor and the next two above and below it wince in pain and cover their ears. The windows all shattered, and one man was knocked out of the building by the shockwave it had created, following with a pathetic scream.
"No," Courtney declared, "not Chad from Accounting!"
"Oh-ho, you killed Chad from Accounting," Arthur declared in joy. "That is awesome!"
"It's not awesome, you jerk! And… hey!" She cried out as Arthur used his incredible speed to dash towards another unfortunate worker of the company and toss him out of the building too, screaming like a doomed NPC. "No, that was Wilkins from Finance!"
"I think I could get the hang of this, being a villain and all."
"We don't have to act like villains!"
"Yeah yeah, keep up that attitude, Courtney, and we won't win you a date with your boyfriend."
"Duncan is not," she started to shout, but stopped herself and glared at him. "You know what? I don't care if we started together, I'm going my own way."
"Fine by me, I much rather act alone."
The Human Cricket leapt from the building with her incredible agility, landing perfectly. As she started to walk away, she heard the screams of more employees that Arthur was tossing from the building in his frustration (and working himself up to be a villain).
"No," Courtney cried out as she watched all fall. "Prunella from Management! Cuthbert from Human Resources! Bob the Janitor! Oh, you mean half-human, half-dinosaur man!"
(Super Janitor's Closet - You wanna know how I got these marks?)
Clive - "Being a villain seems fitting, as it always seems that people will believe you let them down and never let go of that ever. I just didn't like depressing others, no one deserves to feel as miserable as I do."
Mandy - "I don't understand why people think I would be a villain. All I want is for the Old Gods to enter our world, wipe out all living beings across the globe, and thus we start anew on a clean, albeit bloodstained, slate!"
Tyler - "I'm pretty glad I wasn't made a villain. I mean, I know a lot of people think of jocks as jerks, but I like to think I get along with everyone. Even the really out there ones here, I'm down with them!"
(VR World - Classroom City.)
As Ezekiel and Heather walked through the park, both were almost zapped by lightning from Leshawna. DJ cowered behind her as the two super villains took battle positions and Leshawna lifted her lance. Thunder rage, arrows were notched, claws were bared, and a pathetic whimper echoed across the park.
Cody and Anita polished off one of Noah's lesser minions, and narrowly dodged an explosion as Izzy came in for the attack. She and Anita exchanged gun fire, missing but coming close, as Cody used his magic for defense.
Gwen and Yoshi saw Xander and Crystal driving by motorcycle down the street, and attacked with shadow magic, destroying the road in front of them. The rebel hero managed to pull them off the bike and leap to safety as his vehicle vanished, and the two super villains advanced.
Geoff, being carried by Carol, was knocked out of her arms by Tyler's attack with a lacrosse stick. As the Bad Cop unholstered her weapon and began firing, Super Sporto parried the bullets with his weapon. She snarled and pulled out her nightstick to do melee battle, and when Lindsay tried to interfere by helping Tyler, she was blinded by flashing lights and flying confetti from Geoff.
Zachary glared at Alfred and Valerie from afar, feeling jealousy in his gangsta heart. Sadie was confused, and even more so when he bolted towards the two, yelling and swinging his gangsta chains. She bounded after him, singing a song that really annoyed anyone that heard it, also known as the Lemur Song (as a hint to how annoying it was, it's even worse than Friday, as impossible as that sounds).
Harold and Belinda were walking down the street, asking civilians for help, when Courtney leapt at them, kicking at Harold with her powerful legs. He parried with his martial arts, an equal match. As Belinda started to focus her powers, she was distracted when she sensed Arthur leaping at her too, claws bared. Her psionic powers managed to cushion the blow of the unavoidable impact that knocked them down into the subway, separating the two teams.
(Super Janitor's Closet - It's closeting time!)
Harold - "Gotta say, being a superhero felt awesome! Fighting evil, having super powers! It was like… awesome! I wish I could have made that choice in a career, I'd be good at it."
Belinda - "I believe he would be. Nice to see he's gotten over the ugly rumors Chris is spreading to get back to his charming, nerdy self. Because when you have super powers to kick butt with, it's important to stay focused and in the game, a steady flow of action and powerful dialogue."
*She chuckles and looks around the messy closet.* "Which is why I think Chris will cut to commercial now."
…
…
…
Who will win this battle of the super people: the heroes or the villains?
What is more important in general: the romantic subplots or the actual contest itself?
And seriously, there's NO way any song could be worse than Friday. Seriously. No way. Our eardrums would throttle our brains to death if we forced them to listen to that song!
…
Villains - Chef Hatchet, Arthur, Carol, Clive, Colin, Courtney, Eva, Ezekiel, Gwen, Heather, Izzy, Geoff, Noah, Mandy, Sadie, Yoshi, Zachary.
Heroes - Chris Maclean, Alfred, Anita, Belinda, Bridgette, Cody, Crystal, DJ, Harold, Leshawna, Lindsay, Rodney, Sakaki, Sebastian, Tyler, Valerie, Xander.
Security - Groucho the Duck, Chico the Raccoon, Billy the Intern.
…
Villains
• Leader - Chef Hatchet - Chef Hatchet. Giant cooking tools, evil food, and fire magic.
• Mandy - Cultist Chick. Shadow and fire magic, summoning.
• Colin - The Hurter. Magic of "pain" and numbness, weapons of pain, strength.
• Noah - Evil Overlord. Wicked genius, many minions, psionic.
• Izzy - Explosivo. All kinds of explosions, guns, and martial arts.
• Heather - Eviserator. Shredding claws, fire breath, speed, cunning.
• Ezekiel - Dark Arrow. Marksmanship, hunting skills, hunting gear.
• Geoff - Party Bash. Noise, lights, distractions, explosions, disco ball bash.
• Carol - Bad Cop. Strength, guns, SWAT and cop gear.
• Yoshi - The Soulless Blade. Swordsman, magic, abilities of varying power.
• Gwen - Grim Reapette. Shadow and death powers, giant scythe, magic flight.
• Zachary - Hot Metal Gangsta. Summonable chains and guns, strength, fire powers.
• Sadie - The Lemur. Speed, agility, powerful tail, and an annoying song.
• Eva - Ant Woman. Incredible strength, speed, tunneling and bashing skills.
• Clive - Doom 'n Gloom. Shadow powers, emotional depression aura.
• Courtney - The Human Cricket. Agility, noise, martial arts, detection.
• Arthur - Raptor. Long claws, regeneration, speed, feral savagery.
…
Heroes
• Leader - Chris - The Greatest Hero and Man Ever! Super strength, laser eyes, frost breath, flight.
• Cody - Techno-Wizard. Mechanical suit with gadgets, magic abilities.
• Anita - Bombshell Babe. Explosives, guns, cannons, and missiles.
• Bridgette - Dolphin Woman. Aquatic powers, control of marine life, flight, part dolphin form.
• Rodney - Soldier Kid. Weapons and skills of special forces, unlimited ammo.
• Leshawna - Lightning Lancer. Electric powers, speed, summoned lances.
• DJ - The Pacifist. Cannot attack, makes opponents not want to hurt him.
• Alfred - Zombie Survivalist. Various weapons, shivs, guns, and explosives.
• Valerie - Pink Politician. Energy projection, magic flight, lights.
• Sebastian - Dreadlock Kick. Incredible martial arts, indestructible hair.
• Sakaki - Scaredy Cat. Speed, agility, long extendable claws.
• Tyler - Super Sporto. Athletic perfection, summoned sports equipment.
• Lindsay - The Head Cheerleader. Agility, restoration, and strength.
• Xander - Darkcycle. Summonable motorcycle, strength, guns and chains.
• Crystal - The Matchmaker. Energy projection, magic flight, emotional control.
• Harold - Uber-Nerd. All the nerdy powers and weapons one could ask for.
• Belinda - Starvoyant. Psionic, magic flight.
…
Dead - Wilkins from Finance, Prunella from Management, Bob the Janitor, Cuthbert from Human Resources, and especially Chad from Accounting.
…
Janitor Closet's Decorations to Date - Eat At Maclean's Poster (Chris's head punched through, scribbles all over the remaining parts) on back wall. Bowling ball halfway embedded into floor, with feathers, flower petals, and a discarded eyeliner brush scattered around. Fame Town CD on the shelf.
…
[1] - Seriously, I cannot stress this enough for anyone willing to edit the Total Drama Comeback Wiki. The link is in my profile. I can only do so much, being a lazy bastard (seriously, how long do I take between updates?).
[2] - Leo is another of Cid-Vicious's characters that he has paired up with one of mine (Anita). Due to the very steamy drawings he has done that are oh-so-awesome, they're now like a celebrity couple, but more interesting and with real personalities.
[3] - Sebastian's new collar has to do with Cid's drawing of him, where he explains it more. Go look at his stuff already, darn it!
[4] - Alicia is one of TDI Charlie Brown's characters in his own third season (Total Drama Madness), and her being brainy and having a high IQ has gained the interest of Noah. Don't tell Katie.
…
Next Up - City of Super Battles!