Disclaimer - All rights belong to Teletoon, Cartoon Network, and the creators of Total Drama. No profit is being made in the making of the fanfiction. This alternate-universe episode of TD contains stunts performed by written teens. People who try these stunts at home will be promptly slapped with a fish.
The Kobold Necromancer's Notes - Taking a break from my writer's block over my novel, I decided to update this story so that you all would get a little treat. Maybe then I'll be able to write my novel in peace, knowing I gave you all something nice.
And about my other stories, maybe one day I will update them. It all depends on how things go here in real life. I still stand by my stance of that reading good fanfiction encourages me to write this more.
And of course, new poll and all that fun stuff. Vote!
Chapter 45 - Have You Ever Noticed the Chapter Title in the Story Does Not Match The Chapter Title in the Selection Bar Above? What's Up With That?
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(VR - Classroom City, The Hidden Antechamber.)
Monstrous crashing could be felt by the random civilians of Classroom City, way up on the streets. Some of the reverberations made it all the way up to the top, breaking the street. If they only knew that the offspring of Cthulhu, one of the Old Gods, was crushing superheroes as a cultist super villain cheered her on.
Sakaki lay crumpled and defeated nearby, having been smashed against the walls and floor. Lindsay was unconscious on the other side, a terrible blow from the Old God offspring had been enough to finish her off despite her strength and healing powers. Only Leshawna was standing and fighting, but was in terrible shape.
The Lightning Lancer was panting from exhaustion, but still managing to stay far enough away from Cthulhu Junior to be struck. Countless lightning bolts had only resulted in singes and slight burns; it only seemed to anger the son (daughter? child thing?) of Cthulhu.
It didn't help that Mandy was cackling like a hyena on laughing gas. "Foolish spark shooter," she exclaimed. "You really think your fireworks display is enough to amuse me, mortal fool, but you'll never defeat Cthulhu Junior with lightning!"
"You gonna just let the beast do all your work for you?" Leshawna asked, leaping to the side as Cthulhu Junior charged at her again.
"Good villains always let their servants do all the work," Mandy said. "Izzy told me that one. But does it matter to you? If I joined in, you'd be overwhelmed in an instant."
The elevator at the back of the cavern-like room dinged, and the lights above it showed that someone was coming down. Leshawna chuckled and said, "You might want to reconsider that, those might be my friends."
"And they might be mine," Mandy said. "Still, I guess I should help."
She began shooting bursts of shadow energy at Leshawna, who deflected them with her spear. Cthulhu Junior managed to seize the Lightning Lancer in one of his large hands. "Cthulhu," it barked as it squeezed her, making her feel so much more restrained.
"Thank goodness there's no pain in this simulation," Leshawna thought. She was feeling dizzy as the elevator pinged, and the doors slid open. Cthulhu Junior glanced at who was entering, and grunted ("Cthu!") in annoyance.
"Aw, how annoying," Mandy grumbled, "more heroes."
Rodney and Bridgette, the latter looking exhausted but carrying on, entered the cavern-room. Mandy twirled her dagger in her hand, and shook her head. Rodney squeaked in terror and pointed at Cthulhu Junior, shouting, "What is that?"
"That is Cthulhu Junior," Mandy explained, "son of Cthulhu, born in the deepest of oceans, destroyer of worlds!"
"Cthulhu," the monstrosity said proudly.
Bridgette and Rodney gaped at it, and then noticed Leshawna, who still squirmed in Cthulhu Jr.'s grasp. "Guys, you gotta hurry and defeat these two," she cried out, "before more villains show up!"
She charged a blast of electricity and blasted the squid-beast in the side of its face, burning half of its eyes. Cthulhu Junior let out a wail of pain ("Cthulhu!") and then chucked Leshawna with all its might at the elevator. Rodney and Bridgette managed to jump out of the way just in time, and their friend slammed into the doors, bending them into the shaft. The two winced in terror as Leshawna fell down and did not get back up.
"Rodney," Bridgette said, giving her fallen friend one more glance, "take care of Mandy. I'll handle Cthulhu Junior."
"What? No, he's so strong, and you're not at full strength."
"Trust me, I know what I'm doing. Take care of Mandy, make sure she doesn't attack me."
Rodney swallowed and fastened the strap on his helmet. Running around Cthulhu Junior's newly created blind side, the Soldier Kid pulled out his automatic rifle and began firing. Mandy was hit multiple times, but in video game fashion, there were just "POW POW POW" sounds and her flinching to imply damage.
"Ow," Mandy raged, "I hate being shot, it's so annoying. Eat some real power, trigger-happy midget!"
She let loose a series of fast-paced blasts of shadow magic, some hitting Rodney and some reflecting off his helmet. The Soldier Kid pulled out a shotgun and attacked, shells countering blasts of magic. Cultist Chick pulled out her dagger and leapt at him, to which he pulled out his combat knife and parried. They clashed blades, snarling at each other, trying to sneak in a blast of dark energy or a bullet from a sidearm pistol to throw the other off.
The room was vibrating with all the thrashing Cthulhu Junior was doing, throwing both Rodney and Mandy off when the cavern shook with incredible might. As the boy soldier and the cultist girl were about to break out the big guns (literally for Rodney), the shaking stopped.
Mandy looked over at Cthulhu Junior, who was standing perfectly still. She smirked in triumph and said, "Looks like my special beast consumed your friend. It's over for you, hon."
Rodney was distracted when he looked over, only to be blasted off his feet by her powerful magic. He slammed into the wall and pulled himself up, panting from fatigue and desperation. He was greatly surprised, as was Mandy, when Bridgette walked around Cthulhu Junior. The giant beast didn't move or follow her, still looking frozen in place.
"What… what?" Mandy stammered. "How did…"
"You said Cthulhu Junior was born in the ocean," Bridgette said, flicking her ponytail behind her as she glanced at the monster. "I have control over sea beasts. It took a little while, but I managed to paralyze this monster."
"That's," the cultist sputtered, her red eyes twitching, "that's cheating!"
"No, it's not, that's within my powers," Bridgette said, "and so is this."
Dolphin Woman leapt high into the air next to Cthulhu Junior, her bottom half turning into a mermaid fin. She landed a strong blow upside the beast's head, something that normally wouldn't be enough to hurt the beast; however, now it was paralyzed and submissive. Bridgette's blow knocked it onto its side, and upon hitting the floor, the giant beast dissolved. Evil hissing emitted from its disintegrating body as it melted into a puddle of evil goo, letting out one last cry ("Cthu… lhu…") before it was fully goo, then dissolved into the ground.
"And that," Bridgette said calmly, hovering over a stupefied Mandy and applauding Rodney, "is how one takes care of an evil being from the ocean. Keep your ocean clean, people, by disposing of trash in proper containers, and never allowing Cthulhu's offspring to spawn in them."
She grinned and gave a thumbs-up to an invisible camera, ending her public servant announcement. Mandy, meanwhile, was having a public announcement over her servant's end.
"I call shenanigans," she bellowed. "Lying cheating shenanigans! I want a recount! Do-over! Time out! You foolishly foolish fools foolishly fooled the foolish referee-"
She was struck over the head with Bridgette's mermaid tail, silencing the cultist with the blow. The cult let out a groan, her eyes rolled into the back of her head, and she fainted. Bridgette dusted her hands and looked at Rodney. "Well then, now that they're out of the picture, shall we get the GPA?"
"You were awesome," Rodney exclaimed. "And yes, let's get it before more show up-"
The sound of the elevator dinging was too quiet to be heard from the other side of the cavern-room, but the doors being blown off with a mighty explosion was impossible to ignore. Both flinched and they looked over to where the smoke was clearing.
Out stepped Arthur, Courtney, Eva, Geoff, Zachary, and Colin. They looked around, noting the bodies of fallen heroes and villains, then the two standing. Courtney sighed in remorse at what she was going to have to do.
"How fortunate we all met up before we headed down," Arthur said, clicking his tongue in amusement, "how nice when such coincidences happen."
"I just found you and Courtney in a jam and helped you out," Eva grumbled, "then I picked up the moping party animal, Zachary, and quite unfortunately, Colin."
"Shut up or I'll hurt you," Colin snarled. "Just like how I hurt that elevator door."
"Yes, I'm sure the door felt such pain," Courtney muttered.
"Shut up, or I'll hurt you too!"
As the villains bickered, Rodney tugged Bridgette's tail and whispered, "Get the GPA, I'll distract them! Go now!"
Bridgette had barely time to blink as Rodney pulled four grenades from his belt, two in each hand. He pulled the pins on all of them, and then chucked them at the half dozen villains. Solider Kid charged them, combat shotgun in hand.
Courtney, pulling herself away from the argument, used her martial arts to kick one away. Eva stomped down on one, sending it burrowing deep into the earth. Geoff caught one and bounced it away with the heel of his shoe, and Zachary whipped one away with his burning chain. All four grenades exploded far away from their target, only causing noisy distractions.
Rodney's shotgun burst hit Arthur, sending the velociraptor villain sprawling. As he recovered and snarled at the hero, he was surprised when the Solider Kid was seized by painful-looking, evil energy. Colin cackled as he held Rodney in the air with his wicked magic, and then caused it to erupt.
The Solider Kid's scream echoed around the cavern-room, as Colin grinned in sadistic triumph. The boy's body was thrown away like a rag doll, and the Hurter cackled. "Yes, yes! I love hurting children," he shouted, "their screams are so much more delightful!"
"No! Rodney," Bridgette exclaimed, having seen it all and not been able to look away. "How could you do that?"
"It's easy," Colin declared. "I will do it again too, it's such a shame he cannot feel the real agony of my powers-"
"Shut up," Courtney snapped. "We have to take care of her now… and I don't want you to do it."
Bridgette's eyes darted between the six villains, finally resting on Geoff. She took several steps back, nervously panting, and she called out, "Geoff, don't let them do this!"
"He cannot help you," Eva pointed out. "He's on our side."
The party animal nodded somberly. Normally, given the circumstances, Bridgette would understand why he wouldn't betray his team for her; however, his attitude over the past few days made it hurt. She let out a defeated whimper that made Geoff's heart wrench in agony. Colin enjoyed every second of it, and began powering up another attack.
"It's time to end this," he shouted.
"No, I said," Courtney declared. "You won't do it, you'll enjoy it too much!"
The ceiling shook, dust and dirt sprinkling down on them. They all looked up in confusion, then the roof seemed to explode with a shower of earth. They all flinched, and then gaped when they saw Chris hovering in the air in front of them.
"Thought I would just…," Chris said, flicking his perfect hair as he grinned and said, "… drop in."
"Lame," Arthur grumbled.
"We're in trouble now," Zachary said.
"Don't think so, there's six of us and two of them," Courtney said, taking a fighting stance.
"Your numbers are a little off," Chris said with a sly smirk.
Arthur, who secretly read enough comics to know that was a saying used right before someone would be eliminated, went into a defensive stance. He, and the others, were not expecting Chris to look over at Bridgette and then fire lasers from his eyes at her; she was expecting it the least, and managed to jump out of the way at the last second.
"What are you doing?" she shouted, avoiding the area that was left smoldering by the laser shots. "I'm on your side!"
"Aha, that's where you are wrong, Dolphin Girl," Chris said. "Because I am actually… a villain!"
"Le gasp," Arthur exclaimed.
"What a twist," Eva said, and added, "but somehow, not that surprising."
"What are you talking about?" Courtney asked. "You cannot be a villain, you bet on the heroes winning!"
Chris cackled, flexing his fingers evilly like he thought evil people did. "You all thought I did. But in all actuality, I placed my bet on the villains. I put more money on the villains than Chef did, as well as my little bet on the heroes, and thus waited for the perfect moment to reveal my intentions.
"And since there's one hero here and many villains, I know that I must side with the villains to win my money," he finished explaining, hovering towards Bridgette. "Sorry, nothing personal, but I just have to think about my future."
"This is lame," Arthur remarked.
"So long as he's helping us take care of the mermaid hero," Zachary said, speaking over the ding of the elevator, "it is fine with me, dawg."
Bridgette whimpered as she backed away from Chris, glancing at who arrived and praying it was a hero. It was not, it was in fact Gwen. The dark villainess looked around the room silently, and then gathered the souls of the fallen, her power increasing tremendously, especially from the soul of Cthulhu Junior.
"And now, my lowly, hero wannabe," Chris said as Bridgette backed against the wall, "it's time for you to fall from the most handsome turncoat ever. Thank you for being an easy target."
He swung forward with his super powerful fist, but a blast of deathly magic knocked him off-balance. Chris looked to see who attacked him, only for a goth boot to the face sending him sprawling. Gwen stood above him, a malicious grin on her face.
"Wait a minute, Gwen," Chris exclaimed, "I'm on your side!"
Her reply was a swift swing of her scythe, carving for some incredible damage with her death magic. Normally, a superhero like Chris would not be hurt by Gwen's attacks, but with all the powerful souls she had absorbed, the Grim Reapette was burning enough deathly energy to deal damage to him. It was like she had smeared bad hair gel on her scythe.
The Grim Reapette swung at Chris more, dealing killer blow after blow. The turncoat was blasted down to the floor by her intense death magic, and then she arced her scythe downward into his chest. The Greatest Hero (and Actually a Villain) and Man Ever let out a gurgle of defeat before she pulled the weapon from him.
Gwen looked down at the defeated body of Chris, her grin still on her face as she pulled her hood back to have it broadcasted to all of how happy she was. She opened her mouth and spoke for the first time this challenge. "Man, did that feel good! I've wanted to do that since Day 1 of TDI!"
"Gwen," Courtney exclaimed, the first to collect herself, "Chris was on our side!"
"No he wasn't, he was a hero."
"He just told you that he was on our side!"
"Did he?" Gwen asked, looking down at the body of the host. "I must have missed that. Oh well."
Arthur shook off the grin on his face, and asked, "Well then, what is next?"
"I suppose we have to finish off Bridgette now," Courtney said. "Sorry, Bridgette, it was inevitable."
"I'll do that," Colin exclaimed.
"No," both Courtney and Gwen shouted, the latter adding, "I'll hold her down, you all get the GPA."
The Grim Reapette grabbed Dolphin Woman and pushed her against the wall. She snarled and leaned in, whispering, "If you're still alive when the challenge is over, you'll get immunity, so don't fight me back."
Bridgette gave a shadow of a nod, swallowing nervously. She watched as the villains started to head to the GPA, lamenting their defeat. Colin stopped walking to the GPA to look at her, then held up his fist, painful energy sparkling.
"Are you trying to ensure your friend gets immunity?" he asked. "I'm not going to allow that!"
Gwen growled and muttered under her breath, "When did he become clever?"
"Move, goth skank," Colin shouted, powering up his energy, "or I'll hurt you too!"
"Why don't you shove off, you stupid-"
A whistling noise from the hole in the ceiling that Chris had come barreling down, distracting Gwen and then all the others. The Grim Reapette was suddenly kicked away from Bridgette, slamming into Colin and knocking the bully villain over. Gwen shook her head and saw who was standing in front of Bridgette, defending her now.
"No one," Harold shouted as he left his combat stance and pulled a katana out of its scabbard, "hurts my friend!" The nerd snarled as he eyed all the villains, then looked back at Bridgette. "You okay, Bridge?"
"Y-yes," she stammered. "You came just in time! But it's still not looking good, Harold!"
Arthur scoffed and said, "Darn flying nerd. You're still outnumbered."
The flying nerd grinned at him, looking over his katana as he surveyed all the villains. "You don't think I came alone, did you? Oh, I've wanted to say that for so long."
The Raptor scoffed, then felt the familiar hum of powerful psionic energy make the scales on the back of his neck stand up. Belinda came hovering down the hole in the ceiling too, using her telekinesis to help lower Alfred and Sebastian. The three landed just as Cody and Valerie flew down the elevator shaft and into the room.
"Sorry to interrupt," Cody said, flicking his brunet bangs, "but we thought we might just… dro-"
"That's been done," Eva called out.
"Oh, sorry."
Belinda's quaint chuckling broke the tension, and said, "Seven heroes and seven villains. Seems we are at a stalemate, unless we begin fighting."
"Shall we then?" Sebastian said, raising an eyebrow.
"We shall indeed," Arthur retorted.
Utter chaos followed the daring words. Classroom City above thought tremors were shaking their city, or maybe it was just another super face-off (they were quite used to them, Classroom City has a lot of outdoor restaurants to watch such spectacles). The GPA glimmered and shone, almost fluctuating due to all the energy in the air.
Bridgette chased after Geoff, who was retreating from her as much as he could. This proved difficult when she jumped on his back, gripping his shoulders and shaking him, making him fire off confetti, party fog, random party noises, and lights as he tried to shake her with all this party powers. "Why are you avoiding me?" she shouted. "Why don't you talk to me? Stop running for me and explain yourself, darn it!"
Alfred and Arthur were swinging at each other, crowbar to raptor talons. Eventually, Raptor wrenched the crowbar from Zombie Survivalist's hands. A wooden baseball bat was seized by the villain's powerful jaws and snapped in two. Even a katana wasn't enough to slice through the villain's scales, and Arthur was laughing and asking Alfred if that was the best he could do. Thus Alfred pulled out a couple molotovs with burning rags and chased after Arthur, hurling them at the villain and making fiery, splashing explosions. "Doh," Arthur shouted as he pat out the fires on his body as he ran from his opponent, "I should have known not to say that!"
Cody snarled at Colin as the villain powered up his agonizing energy. "This is for Anita," he shouted as he powered up a ball of fire in his hands.
"Hah! What makes you think you can do anything about avenging that b-"
Cody launched his conjured fireball at Colin, who fired his painful energy burst in a panicked response. Cody's was stronger, and scorched the Hurter. Techno-Wizard followed up by swinging the mech-arms of his backpack at the villain, smacking him around and sending him sprawling. Colin recovered and tried to recover, but Cody was relentless.
Harold and Courtney stared each other down as he muttered, "Round two… fight!" Courtney immediately began to kick at him with her incredible speed, but he managed to parry with his katana. She was clever enough to not let her foot get hit by the sharp side of his katana, but he was making it very difficult. The Human Cricket tried to use her legs to cause unsettling noise, but Harold put in his headphones from his iPhone that had many many apps (doesn't get any nerdier than that), and listened to a nerdy song to drown out her noise. The fight commenced, adding in him humming the nerdy songs.
Belinda and Gwen were busy in wordless combat, using psionic projectiles and death magic to counter the other. The Grim Reapette still had some power from all the souls she had gathered, but Starvoyant was giving her a run for her money. Gwen moved in for the kill with her death scythe, but Belinda formed a saber out of psionic energy and parried. The two stared into each other's eyes before swinging violently, parrying and countering each other with aggressive swings. The air around them was thick with deathly magic and mind-warping telekinesis powers around them.
Valerie was being chased by Eva around the room. The Pink Politician was firing energy blasts back at her, but the Ant Woman would swat them away or let them reflect off her carapace armor. When she swung at Valerie and strike the floor or walls, a shower of dirt would spray the super heroine. Eva burrowed underground and then burst up right below Valerie, knocking her into the air. A follow-up uppercut knocked the Pink Politician into the ceiling, and then ricocheting into the ground. As the heroine landing on the floor and pulled herself up, Eva lunged. Valerie used her powers to shine bright light in Eva's eyes, temporarily blinding the Ant Woman and giving her opponent enough time to back up for much-needed recovery.
There was a clang echoing around the room as a powerful leg countered a punch from a chain-wrapped fist. Sebastian and Zachary stared each other down as they struggled to overpower the other, and leapt back from the other. Zachary activated his fire ability, making his chains white-and-gold hot. Sebastian spun around on his foot, causing it to become super hot in return, and they clashed again, hot chain on hot foot, neither with the upper hand (or foot). They continued to clash, sparks shooting out with each strike.
The fighting was unrelenting and wild (you'll just have to take our word for it, it really is awesome, but we're running out of adjectives). Neither hero nor villain was giving up or relenting, and it seemed every fight was in a stalemate. Sparks and magic and lights and fire splashed all over the large cavern-room, like if a party was exploding in the worst possible way. Sadly, no one was shouting corny one-liners or having conversations like they always seem to in comic books. Everyone was too focused on their current fight and earning the edge over their opponent.
Which was why no one noticed when the elevator dinged one more time and DJ stepped out. The cowardly hero looked around the very violent room, swallowed hard, and ran into the fray. He darted past the fights, covering his head and whimpering, "Oh please don't hit me, please oh please!"
The villains did eventually notice DJ, especially when he was near the GPA; however, his pacifism powers were making them all feel rather dismissive about attacking him. Even when he grabbed the GPA and started to pull it out, the stress was causing DJ's powers to go into overdrive, and none of the villains could find it in them to attack him.
The Pacifist yanked the GPA out of the container in the wall, and held it up triumphantly. His powers amplified to an unbelievable amount, pacifism spread around the entire world. Peace was as common as the very air, cats and dogs were best friends, politicians agreed in harmony, even sports fans and shipping wars were quelled with good sportsmanship and pleasant debate.
The entire world was at peace.
(Maclean Stadium, The Arena)
The arena was exploding with cheers and clapping as Vera powered down. Those surviving to the very end were greeted by this tremendous jubilation, as well as Groucho the Duck shouting in the megaphone.
"Heroes win," he quacked in triumph. "Heroes win it all!"
"DJ," Anita declared, embracing him. "You did it! You won the day!"
"You sure proved me wrong, teddy bear," Leshawna cheered.
"Let's hear it for DJ," Alfred exclaimed.
The heroes all burst into loud cheers for DJ, who was almost overcome with modest embarrassment. He scratched the back of his head and chuckled, trying to say it was a team effort. The heroes lifted him up and let him bask in the glory of the victory, and he did feel king of the world for those wonderful moments.
The villains were all sulking, shaking their heads as they tried to comprehend the amount of their defeat: no special dinner, possible vote-off, and the agony of letting down villains everywhere. Actually, the last one only upset very few of them.
Chris was the most upset, and became even more grumpy when Chef walked over, chuckling. "So, you bet for the villains, and we lost anyway," he said, laughing. "So how much money did you lose when putting money on both teams, and having to pay me?"
"Enough that I might have to consider ordering only one lobster for dinner," Chris thought as he turned away from Chef and snatched the megaphone from Groucho. "Or maybe I'll have to settle for even less, I am so not dipping into my hair gel account to cover for this."
"All right," the host said into the megaphone, cranking the volume up so loud that it startled everyone; the heroes dropped DJ in the process of covering their ears. "You heroes won, and that means we're all going to Eat At Maclean's!"
"You aren't going," Gwen shouted defiantly, "you backstabbed the heroes! You don't deserve a winner's dinner!"
"It's my restaurant," Chris responded. "Unless you want me to yank the whole prize, I'm going!"
While most of the heroes were pretty ticked off that someone who planned to betray them was being rewarded, most were just upset that Chris was coming to the party too. Gwen just shook her head and wished she had her villainess scythe.
Chris made a quick call, and then the limousines arrived. The host shouted at the interns to put all of the winners into the cars, and the low-paid, low-morale, disgruntled employees of Maclean were rather forceful in shoving all the winners into the limousines. As they were man-handled and shoved into the cars, most felt like they were the losers or being punished for something with this kind of treatment. Though their frustration and poor service was its own reward, as Xander socked one in the face and Leshawna elbowed another in the gut in response to their rude treatment.
As all but one limousine pulled out, Chris turned to Chef and said, "Well, you're the big loser, so you have to do the rest of the episode. I'm off to dine like a king, and you have to eat your own crap. Later, losers!"
Chef growled in frustration as Chris jumped into the last limo and it sped off. Then the co-host realized he was going to have to announce the rest of the show, stammered until Chico pat his shoulder and pointed at the remaining contestants.
"Okay, maggots," he barked, startling all of them. "You all failed miserably, but I'm a better man than Pretty Boy, so I'll say that yes, I failed too."
"At least you tried," Sadie said.
"Yes, yes I did. But now we have to get to the bad stuff."
"Nitty-gritty," Clive muttered, "more's the pity."
"Exactly, Ghost Face, and I count sixteen of you maggots. Thus, we will have eight immune, and eight voting someone out of this contest. Now who survived again?"
Groucho the Duck tapped a console pad, which had the details of the challenge on it. Chef began tapping it and almost wiped all the data in five seconds before the duck swat his hands away and pointed out the necessary facts.
"Okay then. We have surviving among us losers: Arthur, Colin, Courtney, Eva, Geoff, Gwen, and Zachary. So we need to pick one more for immunity."
"I should get to pick," Colin exclaimed. "I got the most kills!"
"No, I did," Gwen countered.
"Kills don't matter," Courtney shouted, "it's leadership!"
"You didn't lead," Zachary snapped. "We were all doing our own thing!"
"Maybe you did your own thing, but I was-"
Chef pushed the electronic pad against Courtney's chest, almost knocking her over. He grumbled, "Here, take it, make your pick, and shut up."
"What? I don't-"
"I just want this over with, pick one!"
His bellowing voice made her hair whip as if in a wind tunnel, and she shook off the ringing in her ears. Sighing in defeat, she glanced over the available losers, and chose the only one she deemed worthy. "Ezekiel," she said, handing the pad back to Chef.
"Oh, thank you, eh," the prairie boy said.
"No problem, just didn't think anyone else really deserved it."
"Explosivo takes massive umbrage to your bombastic comments," Izzy roared, throwing her fists in the air. "I did my best and fought well."
"Well, we all would have done better," Carol muttered, glaring at Mandy, "if someone hadn't sacrificed her teammates to get a stupid monster!"
"My summoning was just fine, you shrimpy, donut gorging shrimp," Mandy retorted. "Maybe if you could hit actually hit the enemy instead of your teammates!"
"How dare you call me shrimpy, you midget freak who worships fake gods!"
"THAT'S IT! I'LL END YOU, MORTAL WENCH!"
"COME AT ME, BRO!"
Izzy managed to wedge between her two friends, keeping them from hitting and clawing at each other. The redhead tried desperately to calm down the two, telling them that both were pretty and height didn't matter. As the two girls shrieked at each other, all the other losers quickly getting out there.
(Janitor's Closet - World First: World Peace!)
Arthur - "Being a villain wasn't so bad, I admit; it was fun to fight with no mercy. I could get used to that, hehe."
Courtney - "I don't know why Chef gave me the immunity choice, but I was fine with it. After all, I was the only one to pick the sane one of that bunch. Seriously, what is wrong with some of the girls in this show?"
Eva - "Man… Anita gets to have dinner with Cody! Is that going to trump our blimp ride? The only thing more frustrating than wondering about this is realizing I'm worried about this! Argh!"
Zachary - "I really wish I could persuade people to vote Yoshi, who I'm sure didn't do anything the whole game, but sadly, I doubt any of those freaks would listen to me over their arguments."
Gwen - "So what if I lost? I don't want to eat at Chris Maclean's restaurant, with Chris! That's worse than sitting next to the haughty cheerleaders at school lunch when they serve meatloaf! Bleah!"
Colin - "You know, we would have won if it wasn't for those morons who play with a conscience. Reminds me of my little sister, how can anyone try to be nice? Bunch of loser idiots."
Noah - "Morale of story is that someone like DJ can win the day. How ironic, but still, I gotta applaud the guy. Only he could win the day by creating world peace and not make it cheesy."
(Eat At Maclean's.)
The restaurant was nicely decorated, if one liked a picture of Chris Maclean on every wall. Chris was framed in many different styles and outfits, including his usual attire, in a tuxedo, in a bathrobe, dressed like a sleek spy, dressed like a movie star, and more and more. It was enough to make everyone except Chris and his biggest fans lose their appetite, which wasn't a good thing for a restaurant.
Chris had left the contestants to go to his private booth, and to make himself feel better, he gave the waiters and cooks hell over his order. He sent it back five times, gleefully giving guff over details that didn't exist, until eventually the chef came out and smacked the meal he slaved over into Chris's face; this royally ticked off Chris, but luckily for the cook, he didn't get a good enough look before the meal was shoved into the host's face.
The sixteen heroes were all very much enjoying themselves, having pushed together some tables so they could all eat and talk together. Valerie had started off the cheer by toasting DJ, and everyone joined in to give one more cheer to the very bashful guy. All of them were talking about their favorite superheroes, movies, comic books, and more, complete nerd extravaganza.
Anita was very much enjoying her time with Cody, chatting him up and gushing over how well he performed. Cody enjoyed talking to her about all the geeky stuff he never had a chance to talk to with girls over. It was very relaxing for him, and she was in heaven.
Lindsay and Tyler were sharing a meal between each other, a big plate of spaghetti that they kept ending up kissing because it seemed to be some incredible luck that they kept picking up the same strand. Sakaki and Sebastian were talking about more normal subjects than the others, mostly because she didn't know much about superheroes.
Xander was trying to chat up Crystal, but the romantic was distracted by Leshawna and Harold, with Bridgette sitting nearby but looking so alone. Harold was gushing about superheroes nonstop, with Leshawna smiling and nodding like many girlfriends have to do. Eventually, Harold could tell she was bored, and was going to change the subject before he noticed Bridgette.
"Gosh," he muttered, looking over at his friend, "she looks upset."
Leshawna noted Bridgette, and said, "Yeah, she's the only person here not enjoying herself, the poor baby doll. Must be about Geoff."
Crystal hummed a little, catching their attention. "They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but the opposite can happen. Bridgette is losing Geoff slowly but surely, and she's losing her friends too."
"She's not losing her friends," Leshawna protested.
"She sure looks it, though."
"I'm gonna be changing that then!"
Leshawna stood up and walked over to Bridgette, who seem startled her friend was approaching her. "Oh! Leshawna, um, if this is about… um…"
"Stop being so sad and join in with us, girl, I can't stand seeing you sulking here miserable."
"It's just that… I don't want to…"
"Sorry, but I'm makin' ya."
Leshawna grabbed Bridgette's chair and dragged the surfer girl over to sit right next to Harold, then sat down on her boyfriend's other side. "Now then," she said as she looked at the two, "I want this awkwardness done, ya hear me? I shall swat the next person who puts on a sad face!"
Bridgette and Harold exchanged glances, the former blushing slightly and the latter nodding wistfully. "She means it," Harold said, smiling at her.
The surfer girl looked around, trying to see if there was an escape to this, but conceded defeat and sighed. "Well then," she said, "I never got to say thank you for saving my hide, Harold."
"All in a day's work for a superhero."
Leshawna snickered. "My, how modest, sugar."
Bridgette chuckled as well, then looked down at her vegetarian meal. "Oh, do you guys want to try some of this salad?" she asked. "It's delicious!"
"No thanks, Bridgette, rabbit food ain't for me."
"I'll try some," Harold volunteered.
"Oh good, because I ordered way too much; I think I'll have to take the rest to DJ's rabbit at this rate."
As Bridgette shared her meal with Harold, and finally opened up and talked with her friends normally, Crystal let out a small, silent cheer of delight and hugged Xander. "I may still have my matchmaking powers yet!"
"Um, I don't get it," Xander admitted, hating how dumb he sounded.
(The Janitor's Closet at Eat At Maclean's - Cleaner than the Stadium's.)
Xander - "I gotta admit, I still rather like Crystal, but she seems to love pairing other people up more. She spent most of the dinner talking to Lindsay and Tyler, then Sebastian and Sakaki, and then oddly enough, Alfred and Valerie. I didn't get that at first, but she gave up after a couple minutes."
Crystal - "I got this wonky vibe from Alfred and Valerie, that both were gonzo and loved to dive into things. But something is telling me that Valerie doesn't want to admit that… shame, they could be really cute."
Valerie - "Crystal's lucky I was in such a good mood that I didn't snap at her for daring to try and suggest I was romantically involved with Alfred. Affair rumors can destroy a politician, and if she accidentally ruins the reputation I've worked so hard to make, I'll ruin her worse! And me and Alfred? Please, I don't care for boys like that, they're shallow dipsticks!"
Alfred - "I appreciate Crystal trying to hook me up, but I am content with trying to court Mandy. Underneath that cultist chick exterior lurks a sensitive and sweet girl who cares for the souls of the innocent, a wonderful and beautiful girl who loves what she does with a passion. Passion that echoes mine in what I do, the sweet beauty of having a sense of being and destiny! Plus, Mandy's boobs are nicer than Valerie's."
Bridgette - *sighs* "I know I keep being silly over Harold and Leshawna, but I'm desperate to make sure I don't ruin anything between them. They keep being so nice to me, but whenever I get to talk to Harold, I get this unsettling feeling that I cannot understand! If only Geoff would talk to me, then maybe I could make sense of it all!"
Leshawna - "Do I think Bridgette is getting too close to my boyfriend? Kids, let me tell you something, I trust that girl as much as I trust the sun to set at night. How could either of them, being so sweet that they probably be sweatin' sugar, so trust me when I say I feel comfortable with what is going on."
Harold - "With great power comes great responsibility, as a wise man once said. I take this to heart, and thus I stake my reputation as a nerd, as a hero, as a man, to do no harm to any of my friends in these intrepid times of wallowing in drama that Chris Maclean stirs. Leshawna is my Chocolate Goddess, the Storm to my… wait, who was Storm romantically linked to again? Oh crud, my nerdy powers are failing me!"
(Back at Maclean Stadium.)
"You really gotta calm down, my friend," Izzy said to Mandy, rubbing her shoulders. "Carol isn't that big a deal, we have bigger fish to try."
"As far as I see it, that minnow is the biggest problem in the pond," Mandy grumbled. "How do you put up with someone loud and wild and unpredictable like that?"
"I dunno, it's hard to judge myself even when I look in the mirror."
As Mandy stammered an apology, Izzy merely laughed it off and continued to console her. "Now, what we need to do is get you to talk to Alfred. I gave up courting and making out with him so that you, my friend, would have a chance!"
"You… you really think he's interested in me?"
"Heck, if he ain't, then I wouldn't be interested in him, because he's dense! So I'll tell you this, if you survive tonight's elimination, you'll talk to him when he gets back!"
"Um, okay."
"And if it doesn't work, you can always go out with me."
Izzy giggled and kissed Mandy's neck, making the cultist girl squeak in surprise. "Oh for the love of Ithaqua, Izzy, why do you keep teasing me on that? You know I'm not that way!"
"Because it's so much fun!"
"Everyone still thinks I'm gay even though I'm obviously not!"
"That so?" Noah said as he walked by. "Welcome to my world."
Someone overheard the entire conversation between Izzy and Mandy, and chuckled over the part of surviving this night's elimination. As the two crazy girls continued to talk, Yoshi was asking Chef Hatchet something important.
"What do you mean that the winners won't be back for the voting ceremony?"
"Sorry, Samurai, but they're out the entire night. Chris's orders, he doesn't want to have to deal with the voting ceremony tonight, said you all get too emotional and take it personal when someone wants to vote off someone to hurt someone else."
Normally, Yoshi would have agreed with Chris over the fact that it was just a show and not life-and-death, but he had been softened by his friends. "The way people are talking, something terrible could happen tonight, and I need to prevent that."
"No using that sword of yours, boy."
"I'm not gonna threaten anyone, darn it! I just need to make sure that this time, someone specific doesn't get voted off." He tied his hair bandana over his head as he muttered to himself, "I owe that to my friend."
"Yeah, yeah, just no killing anyone!"
"Why does everyone think I'm a psychopath just because I carry a sword? Have I hurt anyone with it? Sheesh, such judgement!"
As Yoshi sulked, Zachary listened in and cackled. "I think I know who you want to save, white boy," he said to himself, "and lemme tell you, you're gonna fail to save that crazy woman."
(Back at Eat At Maclean's.)
"You know, if you had just been given one more minute," Anita said to Cody, "you would have had Colin."
"Aw, thanks but he was really dangerous, I was lucky to remain standing."
"You put yourself down too much, I was really rooting for you, Codemiester."
"We all were," Belinda added in. "We all hate that awful creep, I wanted to hold him down while you hit him."
Cody chuckled at the thought, and then Anita offered him the chip basket. He started gobbling them down, but made sure to save Anita some. Belinda looked at the empty basket after they were finished, and shook the crumbs onto her plate. "Gee thanks. Why didn't I have the foresight to ask the waiter for more than one basket on this side?"
Anita and Cody continued to talk animatedly about the challenge, while Belinda glanced over and chuckled from time to time. She then noticed DJ and Rodney talking enthusiastically.
"Wouldn't it be great if we had that kind of peace in the contest?" Rodney asked rhetorically. "I mean, if everyone was peaceful, the contest was run so much smoothly."
"I am sure that the voting ceremonies would be easier to tolerate," DJ said. "I mean, as lovely as this dinner has been, the voting ceremony tonight will probably make everything sour."
"We're not going to be back for the voting ceremony," Belinda said aloud.
"We're not going to see the voting ceremony?" DJ and Rodney exclaimed in unison, alerting the whole table.
"We're not?" most of the others replied.
Belinda pointed back at Chris, who was now threatening to fire every cook in the restaurant. "Do you think he wants to deal with more drama at him? We'll be here until the voting ceremony is over."
"I guess that means everyone who won immunity is gonna be safe," Xander remarked.
"But Mandy doesn't have immunity then," Alfred said, biting his nails in worry. "Or Izzy!"
"Thank God," Valerie muttered to herself.
"Zeke doesn't have immunity too," Tyler exclaimed. "Oh man, my friend could get voted off and I wouldn't get to say good-bye!"
"And then," Lindsay said in equal worry, "you wouldn't get to kiss him farewell!"
As everyone but the couple burst into laughter, Tyler looked bitterly at Lindsay, who was rather confused. "What?" she asked. "You've kissed him twice, I thought it was just something you two did as friends."
When the laughter died down, the worry set in again, all those wondering their friends were going to be safe. The mood started to drop down to a miserable low when Sebastian spoke up. "Everyone, I know you feel this is bad news, but it is also a blessing. We have been greatly upset whenever we had to watch the voting ceremony, perhaps this way, we will be spared the drama that it creates.
"And furthermore," he added, raising an amused eyebrow, "when has anyone on this show who's been voted off restrained themselves from not visiting?"
"I know I haven't," Duncan shouted from a nearby table, which he had propped his feet on and chowed down on his chips before Owen, his dinner date so to speak, was going to eat every last one.
The hero team all relaxed, but Alfred was still worried. Sebastian pat his friend on the shoulder and continued to console him, while Sakaki watched the philosopher with fond eyes.
(Janitor's Closet - So Duncan and Owen eat at Eat At Maclean's when they're not on the bus?)
Sakaki - "Sebastian is such a kind soul… he really cares about people's feelings, and he's sensitive too. Most guys don't like to share their feelings… which is a little ironic, since I have such trouble too." *She blushes and looks away, wiggling her shoulders bashfully.* "I guess boys and girls aren't so different at times…"
Tyler and Lindsay - *They are making out passionately. Lindsay gasps for air, her face flushed.*
Lindsay - "Um, Thor, how much longer do we have to make out in here?"
Tyler - "I just need to make sure everyone knows I'm not into Ezekiel, babe!"
Lindsay - "Why would they think that? It's not like you're Nathan, where I'm still wondering if he-" *She is cut off by Tyler kissing her again.*
Anita - "I loved talking to Cody so much! He gets so cute when he gets geeky, and we have so much to talk about! It's not like one of those relationships where the two can only communicate via texts. Yes, I know some couples like that, is it wrong that I find that sad?"
Cody - "As much fun as I had with Anita, I'm not feeling completely sure about where I stand between her and Eva. But I think I'll have to make a choice soon, and I'll be a big enough boy to do so."
DJ - "I gotta say, being the hero of the day feels really nice. As much as I hate being on this show, moments like these are worth it, I guess." *He is petting Bunny and feeding him some lettuce, which it gobbles it up.*
(Maclean Stadium, Voting Ceremony Platform)
Chef Hatchet was having trouble calming down the audience, waving at all of them. "Okay, shut up now, ya maggots," he declared. "Seriously, I mean it! Shut up, I'm trying to do a show, and I cannot if you all don't stop cheering!"
The losers were all seated, waiting patiently for it to start. Some of them were more worried than others, whistling innocent tunes to try and calm the eldritch abominations (the last part was just Mandy, obviously).
Tension was high, even with Chef Hatchet losing it with the crowd, yelling, "Quiet, you… you bunch of boo-boo heads! You boo-boo heads just be quiet! If you don't be quiet, I'm going to be very naughty!"
It came to the point where Groucho the Duck had to pull out his combat shotgun and let off a couple booming shots into the ground to have the crowd quiet down. "I just don't want to have to see you cry," he said to Chef, shaking his little head.
"Now then," Chef shouted, drying his eyes, "first we have to give trophies to all those that officially have them. Duck, raccoon, intern, I need you three to take the trophies to the rooms of the maggots who won."
"Will do, Captain Crybaby," Groucho the Duck muttered.
"lolz dey can has trofies," Chico the Raccoon chirped.
"Okay then," Billy the Intern said. The three headed off, carrying sixteen trophies among them. Chef Hatchet handed trophies out to the eight losers who automatically had immunity.
"So now we're down to eight," he said. The crowd burst into loud cheering, and he threw a fit, shouting over and over, "Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! I'm trying to host, you boo-boo heads!"
The eight waiting to see if they had been eliminated or not were also starting to lose their patience. Izzy's eye was twitching and considering using her explosives (forgetting she only had those in the VR game). Yoshi was crossing his arms as he resisted the temptation to start swinging his sword, reminding himself that he was trying to disprove the belief he was a psychopath. Sadie was also losing patience, but thought of baby puppies and kitties to calm herself down.
After the crowd calmed down because they were tired of Chef Hatchet pitching a fit, the cook-cohost steadied himself and picked up one of the seven trophies left. "Okay, I'm good, I'm calm," he said, "after this, I am gonna need a long bubble bath, give myself a pedicure, watch my soaps in my underwear while eating from ice cream from the carton-"
"If you are done mentally scarring us," Noah shouted, "will you please give us the trophies so I can go bleach my brain?"
Chef huffed. "Fine. These trophies are for those that received no votes…"
"Noah!" The cynic caught his trophy, refusing to look at Chef without fear of picturing him in a bubble bath.
"Izzy!" The redhead cheered as she caught her trophy and licked it in triumph.
"Yoshi!" The warrior caught his trophy, but seemed to not be satisfied quite yet.
"Heather!" The former queen bee was surprised at first, but then satisfied, especially when Ezekiel kissed her in jubilation.
"Sadie!" The best friend giggled as she caught her trophy, and accidentally hit Yoshi on the side of the head when she lifted it in victory.
"Now for you three," Chef Hatchet said, eyeing Clive, Carol, and Mandy, "it's time to see which of you will be going."
"Can I go?" Clive asked.
"No, pale maggot."
"I don't mind…"
"Take your damn trophy, emo!"
Chef slammed the trophy into Clive's chest, knocking him back in his seat. He looked between Mandy and Carol, shouting, "Anyone else want to ask being voted off, maggots?"
"If we do, do we get a trophy like he did?" Carol asked.
"NO!"
"Stupid question," Mandy grumbled.
"Stupid you," was Carol's response.
"Stop fighting," Chef Hatchet exclaimed. "It's time to announce who goes! … So how long do I keep you all waiting?"
Courtney was the loudest to protest. "Stop stalling for time," she cried out. "No one likes it!"
"Just give one of them the trophy," Yoshi said, keeping his fingers crossed for luck.
"Come on, man," Geoff pleaded. "I'm dying here, I need to know who got voted off!"
Chef Hatchet groaned and said, "Well, I'm gonna hesitate for dramatic effect, then say the name! … Um… so…
…
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…
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…
…
…
…
…
…
…
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"Mandy!"
There was silence, except for Mandy gasping in delight; however, confusion flooded her mind. "Wait, you mean I get the trophy," she asked, "or I was voted off?"
"What?" Chef Hatchet asked, just as confused. He glanced at his notes and said, "Oh, you stay, the other short girl goes."
"Goody!"
Mandy snatched the last trophy and held it up in victory. "Haha, I am still here, bee-yotches! Woohoo!"
"Elegant," Courtney grumbled.
"Thank goodness," Yoshi said in a sigh of relief.
"Aw, c'mon, no," Geoff exclaimed. "Not Carol, she's cool!"
Chef Hatchet approached said cool girl, who had frozen up with an expression of utter shock. "Well, little girl, it's time to go-"
And then Carol let out a scream that sounded like this:
"AAAAAAAAAUGGHAAAAAAAAWAAAA!"
Chef Hatchet shook from taking the force of the scream head-on and fainted. Everyone present covered their ears, some passed out. The audience writhed around as they too covered their ears, the scream reverberating around the stadium. Outside the stadium, and many, many miles away from the stadium, it could be heard all over. And I do mean all over.
Nikki tapped the side of her headphones, frowning in concern as she fiddled with them and ruffled her purple hair. "I think these are busted," she grumbled to her friends at their seat near the giant lemon. "They are making a horrible screeching sound… or did you all hear that too?"
"What the heck was that?" Emma asked Fin as the two drifted on their surfboards, waiting for the next wave. "Jeez, did a seagull get a bullhorn or something?"
"Beats me, maybe Reef stubbed a toe again or something."
Snoopy's ears perked up as he lay on the top of his doghouse, then he let out a howl to match the scream. He donned an opera star's wig and pulled on a cloak, harmonizing his howls to match the pitch of the howls. Charlie Brown winced and muttered, "Oh, why can't I have a dog that howls like everyone else's?"
Laura Kinney and Chris Redfield stopped making out long enough to pay attention to the wailing scream. "Think that was Galactus?" Chris asked her. "Or maybe Nemesis?"
"Naw, I'm sure we're safe. C'mere you!"
The two went back to making out, while Deadpool ran around screaming, "It's the end of the world! We're being invaded by the shrieking maidens from planet Banshee Wail! And the worst part of it is, no one's going to get any of our little cameo, the author just wants to make shout-outs to stuff he likes! Favoritism!
"Oh, and hi mom!"
Up in the Satellite of Love, hovering around the Earth, Crow and Tom Servo exchanged glances. "I thought in space," Servo mused aloud, "no one could hear you scream."
"I think that's an urban legend, like how if you eat pop rocks and drink soda, your eyeballs will explode."
"True, true. Say, what do you think caused that scream down on Earth? Did a good show get cancelled?"
"That's probably it, only the good shows ever get cancelled."
The patrons of Eat At Maclean's looked around, trying to figure out what was making that noise. Sakaki clung to Sebastian in horror, and Rodney tightened his chin strap.
"That didn't sound like Mandy," Alfred said cheerfully. "Yay!"
(The Janitor's Closet at Eat At Maclean's - That was like a Total Drama Universal Tour!)
Sebastian - "Okay, just what exactly was that? Should I be considered?"
Rodney - "It's times like these that I wish I had superpowers. I'd be a little less afraid if I had the ability to fight disembodied screams of anguish!"
Belinda - *She sighs and tsk-tsks, shaking her head.* "Poor Carol."
(Finally back at Maclean Stadium)
"… AUUUUWAAAAGUAHAAHAAAAAAAAAA-okay, I feel better now."
Carol heaved like an exhausted marathon runner, her eyes wide and twitching. "So… mad…," she managed to strain out the words. "… Lungs… hurt… ow…"
"Wow, I can see why she wants to be a cop," Zachary muttered. "She screams like a siren."
Carol's maniacally upset look glanced over at him, and he sprinted out of there, as did several other of the contestants. Geoff was one of the few that stayed, and gingerly approached her.
"Look Carol babe," he said, keeping his voice mellow, "I know you're upset, but… this isn't the end of the world."
"It's not?" she screamed, then wheezed horribly. Coughing and spitting, she muttered, "I just lost the freaking contest! I lost everything, I didn't get anything from this whole experience! Nothing! NOTHING!"
"Whoa girl, come on," Geoff exclaimed, grabbing her shoulders. "You're exploding like a firecracker gone wrong! You didn't get nothing, you got something from this all. You got some fame, you got some friends-"
"Friends?" Carol repeated the word as if it was foreign. "They chose the freaky cultist chick who wants to sacrifice them all over me!"
"I didn't! Well, I didn't vote, bra, but come on, we're friends, right?"
Carol's bottom lip quivered and repeated, "Friend?"
"You got me back into the game during that challenge," Geoff said. "Come on, your enthusiasm was infectious, we would have won if you were at the end!"
The enthusiast's lip quivered more, then she burst into tears and bawled into Geoff's chest. He pat her head as he tried to comfort her, then she flinched as she looked behind him.
"Oh crap, those friends of yours are coming at you, run!"
Geoff looked behind him to see Courtney and Gwen coming at him. He winced, muttered a sorry and bye to Carol, then dashed off. Far too fast for them, the two girls stood on the edge of the platform.
"If you have time to comfort Carol," Courtney shouted at him, "you could have time to talk to Bridgette, darn it!"
"Geoff, this isn't like you," Gwen hollered at him too. "I know you're a nice guy, you can't behave like this!"
"Stop agreeing with me, Gwen!"
"Courtney, why don't you just shut the-"
"NO SHOUTING IN THE HALLS," Carol bellowed, startling both girls and everyone in the whole stadium; Groucho cocked his shotgun and insisted that some drug cartel was must be bombing the place until Chico calmed him down. The short enthusiast panted as she felt herself float into her hall monitor days for self-preservation of not crying more and letting the whole world see. "Where's the damn, damn bus that's damned not here, damn it?"
At that moment, the Bus of Losers pulled up to the side of the platform. The bus doors opened to show Duncan sitting at the wheel. "Sorry, we would have been here sooner, but Owen ordered four servings at Eat At Macle-"
"Oh NO," Carol shouted, stomping her foot (accidentally on the unconscious Chef). "No no no, no NO! Nuuuu! I am NOT going to let the criminal drive me off! I've had enough of being a bad cop, I'm not letting this slide by!
"Good bye, people," she cried as she walked to the bus. "Bye, Sadie, good luck with getting a boyfriend! Bye, Clive! Tell Bridgette and Harold and especially Geoff I said good-bye!"
Carol stormed into the bus and immediately started to wrestle Duncan for the wheel. "Gimme the wheel, ya mohawked punk!"
"Let go, you crazy cop-wannabe! Get the midget off of me!"
This continued for a couple more seconds, then Carol decided to try the ultimate distraction technique that she always wanted to try. She grabbed Duncan's face and planted a big kiss right on his lips.
His eyes went wide, as did Courtney's. The CIT gaped for a few seconds, and then realized that Duncan wasn't really fighting back. She started stammering, trying to form the words but not able to say it out loud, for someone to stop kissing her boyfriend. It didn't help that Gwen and several others were laughing at the event unfolding before her eyes.
Eventually, Duncan was distracted enough for Carol to shove him right out of the seat. With a loud whoop of success, she closed the bus doors, and the bus sped forward, leaving the platform in a cloud of exhaust.
Courtney and the others stepped off, coughing horribly, as Yoshi dragged the unconscious Chef away from the smog. As the CIT fumed more than the bus, Yoshi dusted himself and chuckled. "Well," he said as he watched Mandy walk off with Izzy, "that turned out nicely."
(Maclean Stadium, Cafeteria)
Sadie sighed miserably as she poured herself a cup of tea and sat down at a table. "I'm going to miss Carol so much."
"She was loud and out of control," Eva muttered.
"Yeah, but she was my friend. We got along well, and it's not easy for me when I don't get to see Katie."
Eva grunted, sipping some soup that the losers had prepared for everyone there. She stared off into thought, and muttered, "I wish Anita had gone instead."
"That would have been anticlimactic," Sadie said, "for your love triangle deal. You have to admit, it would be best if Cody made the choice."
"I guess so. Guess I should be glad it was just someone random, but maybe it would have been better if that other psycho girl had gone instead."
Eva's timing couldn't have been worse, as Mandy and Izzy were walking nearby and overheard that. The allegedly psycho girl shouted, "How dare you, muscle head! I will take you small intestines and wrap them around my head! I will…," she continued to threaten until Izzy dragged her away. Eva merely raised an eyebrow and chuckled at this, then asked Sadie to stop hiding behind her.
Izzy struggled to seat Mandy, and then sat down next to her. "Now listen you," she said, "let's put aside the slaughtering and such for other happy times. We gotta talk about you and Alfred."
"Oh, what's there to talk about?" Mandy grumbled. "I'm not cut out for the dating scheme."
"Neither is Izzy, but Izzy does it anyway! I used to have such on-off relationships, but then this show came around, and I see it in myself to have a real relationship. I had one with Owen for a while, and I could have another one."
"With who? Maybe you should just take Alfred if you think you'll do okay together…"
"Nope! While we would, there are many boys I can see myself with! Xander, DJ, Noah, Clive, Arthur, Tyler, Ezekiel…"
"Aren't most of them taken?"
"That stuff changes! Well, maybe except for Ezekiel, that's one fish that got away. If only I hadn't shot him in the butt with an arrow on accident, we might be snogging right now."
"You trust Heather, eh?"
"Of course I do! She's a sweet girl now, and…"
Izzy drifted off when she looked around to point out Heather, and couldn't see her anywhere among the losers having soup. "That's funny, where'd she go?"
"Ezekiel's not here either."
Izzy's confused frown slowly turned into a wicked grin; Mandy was certain they sharpened predatorily. Cackling, the redhead wrapped her arm around her friend and said, "See? This is why we need to hook you up, my dear Mandy!"
(Maclean Stadium, Shower Room)
"I don't understand why you wanted me to wear my bathing suit," Heather grumbled as Ezekiel led her into the shower room. "I get even less why you're leading me in here."
"Well, I knoo' you're disappointed in that you didn't get to go 'oot fur dinner, eh."
Heather nodded, trying not to look sad about it as that would show weakness, even in front of her boyfriend. "I haven't been 'oot… out to eat at a restaurant in a long time. I literally cannot remember when."
"Same here, Heather, I doo'nt knoo' when I ever have, eh."
"You trying to one-up me, Zekey?"
"Nope, I'm treating you tonight, eh," he said, shedding his clothes down to his bathing trunks. He turned on one of the showers and cranked it up, grinning back at her. "You remember hoo' we were reminded of the time my parents caught us making 'oot, eh?"
"You mean the memory that was broadcasted for the whole world to see?"
"Yep, but instead of sulking a'boot it, I thought we woo'd enjoy oor'selves, eh."
He pulled her into the hot water, and began kissing her neck. She gasped, cooed, then growled as she let out the last of her frustration by saying, "Must you keep trying to soften me up? Can't I just sulk and be bitter like I used to?"
"Yes, and then no, eh. Besides, you're soft enough, see?"
He continued to kiss her neck, and she let herself sink into the sweet kisses and spray of warm water.
(Janitor's Closet - Shout-out to our restaurant cousin, yo!)
Ezekiel - *grinning in complete satisfaction, still in his bathing suit* "Oh… I love being alive, eh. I love Heather, I love this shoo', I love everything! Heehee!"
Heather - *also still in her bathing suit, grinning bashfully despite herself* "I gotta say, Ezekiel gets so adorable when we are… well, none of your business. He just gets so happy over… it. Gah, I gotta remember who might be watching this!"
Geoff - "Gah! This is getting so bad! I tried to take a shower to cool off but the door was locked! I need to figure out what I'm gonna do… before things get worse. … Wait, I shouldn't have said that, that's a jinx! Oh dudes… dudes… this is beyond uncool, it's… it's… anti-cool! Bridgette… why must I forsake you? Carol, why did you have to go when you were helping? Oh boo hoo hoo!"
(The Bus of Losers)
"Can someone help me up here?"
Carol's hollering at the front of the bus was worrying to most, especially since the bus was driving wildly ever since it left the stadium. Duncan was sulking too much to care, so Hannah was the one to go up there. "What's wrong, hon?"
"Um, hehe, don't tell anyone," the enthusiast said bashfully, "but I think my legs are a little too short for this bus. I'm having trouble hitting the brakes and then the gas and then back, you know?"
"Sure does explain why every time we stop, we are almost flung from our seats. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone, just let me drive."
Carol gleefully left the driver's seat. This turned out to be terrifying to Hannah, as the bus was still moving, and she had to very quickly seat herself and steady the bus. Sighing in relief, Joel sat by near her and said, "Sometimes I worry about that girl."
"I was worrying a little more about meeting my savior when she ditched driving the bus so suddenly."
As the two talked about the slight near-death experience, Carol plopped down in a seat near the back. It was only after she heard a deep sigh that she realized she was sitting next to Owen. "Oh, hey big guy."
"Oh, hey small girl."
Carol groaned in annoyance and looked away, despite knowing Owen didn't mean to insult her. She noted Justin and Beth seated together, smiling, whispering sweet nothings together, and kissing sweet little pecks on the other's lips, cheek, and neck. The giggling was musical, and Carol found herself watching, then angst swelled up in her heart.
"I really wanted to meet a nice boy during this contest," she muttered.
"I really wish I still had my nice girl," Owen mused aloud.
"Being single really sucks when everyone around you is taken."
"It's a hard life, I know," he agreed, shaking his big head.
"I actually met this really nice guy, but nothing came of it… even though I would have really like it to…"
"I had a wonderful woman, how could I lose her?"
They exchanged a glance, and then burst into wailing sobs. The entire bus shook in reverberation, making everyone cover their ears and wince in pain. Hannah couldn't do this, but lifted her shoulders up so far that her chin was squished against her chest. "Oh, someone please stop them," she pleaded.
"It's not so bad," Joel said, the only one unfazed because his life of tinkering and accidental explosions had strengthened his ears. "The traffic in front of us is clearing up, they think it's a siren."
And so the Bus of Losers rolled along, the siren-like wailing giving them a clear path back to the hotel. This was only interrupted when Owen hugged Carol, and almost crushed the little officer in his grasp.
…
…
…
(Voting Confessionals)
Yoshi - "Alfred helped me hook up with Daisy, he gave up the chance to go out with her so I could. I never had a friend like that, so I feel I save the girl he's interested in. I'll try to get everyone to vote for Carol instead of Mandy, maybe they'll forgive the sacrifice thing."
Sadie - "I haven't forgotten the sacrifice thing! I'm voting for Mandy!"
Noah - "I'll vote for Mandy, mostly because I may be able to move back into my own room if I know that psycho worshipper of Lovecraft's imagination is no longer going to be there."
Clive - "Carol's an awful roommate, I think I have been harassed every day I've been here. So when Yoshi suggested I voted for her, it seemed only natural; I did think of voting myself off, now that Chris isn't here, but I guess I should give the show a little bit more of a try."
Heather - "Yoshi asked me to vote for Carol, and frankly, I don't mind so much having that loud girl voted off. Maybe I'll just remind Yoshi that he owes me one… but I don't feel like doing that. I've been in a good mood since Ezekiel and I showered." *She chuckles, then her eyes grow wide when she realizes how that sounded.*
Carol - "Psychopathic cultist witch! I won't have her sacrificing teammates like that without punishment! Why, if I was a cop, I would arrest her for her flagrant… um… human sacrificing!"
Mandy - "Short puny crumb cob! She killed more of our teammates than I did, at least Cthulhu Junior took out heroes! This is why we need the Old Gods, they'll purge the useless from the lands! I'm sure my friends will make it, though, no one could keep Izzy and Alfred down… especially Alfred." *She blushes slightly.*
Izzy - "Okay, I'm voting for Clive. He's mopey and sad, we cannot have that infect our good contestants! Via la cheer!" *She pulls some fireworks out and lights them, laughing cheerfully as they go off in the closet.*
Chef Hatchet - *The big man wakes up in Chico's paw-made bed where Yoshi put him. He looks around the now very scorched janitor's closet. A giggling and soot-covered Izzy, with tips of her hair still on fire, leaves the closet as he realizes what exactly this could mean.* "GAAAH! No! No no no, I will not clean this up! You darn boo-boo head contestants! Why? Why? BOO HOO HOO!"
*He pulls out a handkerchief and blows into it, sobbing until eventually the editor mercifully lets him have some cry time alone.*
Votes:
Izzy - Clive.
Mandy - Carol.
Carol - Mandy.
Heather - Carol.
Sadie - Mandy.
Noah - Mandy.
Yoshi - Carol.
Clive - Carol.
Deadpool - Squirrel Girl.
…
Carol - 4.
Mandy - 3.
Clive - 1.
All votes for Squirrel Girl were thrown out, as the voting parties (Deadpool, and just him), were discarded for not actually being contestants in this contest, or even in this story.
…
Voted Off - Sandra, Duncan, Jasmine, Daisy, Owen, Trent, Hannah, Howard, Joel, Katie, Beth, Justin, Carol.
…
…
…
Janitor Closet's Decorations to Date - Firework scorching covers the walls, floor, and mostly the ceiling. A wet handkerchief lays on Chico's paw-made bed. The Fame Town CD, broken and burnt but still there, is on its shelf.
…
Next Up - WARNING! The following spoilers are only to be read if you are Australian, where they get somehow get to know everything that happens in these shows before anyone else gets to. Read if you are Aussie, and then spoil it for everyone and give us no reason to want to see it.
Harold clears his throat, and reads a haiku for the readers.
A choice will be made.
The race in RVs is on.
There will be drama.