For a few days, I stayed at home as my fever ran its course. My father came by every now and again to check on me or try to help me. But I pretended to be asleep every time he came by. So he didn't do too much. I didn't want him to. Every time his rough hands touched my cheek or my head, I had to stop myself from flinching or pushing him away. When he left for booze or to go see a friend, I would drag myself out of bed and make myself something to eat or get some water. I managed to take care of myself without him. Just as I always did. I hated this. I hated to be around him. He treated me more like a stranger then he did a parent. It's been that way since my mother passed away. At first, he tried to act as he always did, and keep me happy. But whenever I got sick, he seemed like a different person. His smile was unnatural, and he became distant. It was too much to take. I hated it. I hated him for doing this. During a time I needed him most, he acted so cold, so indifferent. I wish I could understand why.
Once my fever broke, I was quickly back on my feet and going to school. If circumstances weren't in the way that they were, then I'd probably be the sort of person who would try and milk the fever, getting as many sick days as possible. But I didn't want to be at home. Not at all. So, despite the lingering migraine, I was out of bed and on my way to school. Going up the hill again, I didn't know what I would see. But...for some reason, I almost expected to see Furukawa again. I didn't know if I got a chance to thank her for her kindness that night. But I was grateful that she was willing to help me. She wasn't there though, so I assumed that she had made it to school by herself today. That was good. I couldn't help but sigh. I only just met her yesterday, and I already wanted to see her. Well, whatever. I might see her later in the day. So I would speak to her then.
Sitting in the classroom once again, I found myself staring up at the sky again. The clouds had cleared today and proved for a sunnier morning. That was good. I couldn't handle any more rain. It was such a boring day, and it was passing pretty slowly. I mean, it was kinda fun teasing Ryou when she tried to find out where I had been. She did her best to scold me for 'skipping' for so many days. But I wasn't worried. The teachers already knew about my condition. They couldn't get me in trouble for it. But no one else did. They all thought of me as some no-good delinquent. Well, that was fine by me, to be honest. I didn't care. But someone did apparently.
As my fourth period went by, I was roused from my daydreams when I saw a paper ball roll onto my desk. I stared for a moment before looking to my side. Sunohara had his face forward but was watching me out of the corner of his eye. He nodded towards the paper on my desk, seemingly wanting me to open it and read whatever was inside. I looked back at the paper for a moment, feeling a bit spiteful. I didn't want to read this. He just wanted to bug me. It would be much more fun to mess with him. I bat the paper around my desk for a bit, before giving it a flick. It rolled to the ground and to Sunohara's feet. I could hear him scoff before he leaned over and picked it up. It was tossed back onto my desk, and I smirked, a bit amused. Then, I gave it a little bump with my elbow so it fell again. Another groan from Sunohara before he tossed it onto my desk, with just a bit more force. This time, I leaned a bit close and let out a heavy sigh, enough to make it roll off again. Well, that got him really riled up. He picked it up and chucked it at my head.
The paper ball bounced off the side of my head and hit the ground, rolling out of his reach. I could hear him swear under his breath, and I had to stop myself from laughing. He was just so determined. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Sunohara slid from his desk and got on his hands and knees, crawling towards the note. It had landed right at Ryou Fujibayashi's feet I could see. Ooh, how was this going to go? He reached out carefully for the note, a few other students eyeing him curiously. It looked like he knew what could happen too if he wasn't careful, so he tried to keep as far from her as possible, while still reaching for the note. Fujibayahsi didn't seem to have a clue what was happening behind her right now. His fingers were just barely brushing at the paper ball. That's when he lost his balance from reaching out so far, and fell forward, off of his knees, grabbing hold of Fujibayashi's ankle in the process. She squealed and looked down. When she saw him holding onto her ankle, face flushed, and wide-eyes, she didn't take it too well.
"Let me go!" She shrieked, getting everyone's attention. She was red in the face and close to tears. The teacher turned around and quickly spotted Sunohara.
"Sunohara!" He bellowed. "What do you think you're doing?" I watched as he stuttered, at a loss for words. Sunohara was sent out of the room pretty quickly. Poor guy. I'd have to give him my condolences next time I saw him.
As the lesson went on, I noticed the note was still lying at Fujibayashi's feet. I'd have to have a look at it once class was over then. Couldn't just let all that trouble be for nothing.
Once the period came to a close, I could see how poor Fujibayashi was the first out the door. Probably planned to tell her sister everything. I didn't want to be Sunohara right now that was for sure. I stood from my desk and picked up the note. When I opened it, I couldn't help but sigh aloud. Hey Okazaki. You wanna have lunch at the roof or something? You were out for a while and I've got lots to catch you up on. Feeling okay?
Well, it was awfully nice of him to look out for me like this I would admit. But I sort of wished that he wouldn't. I didn't need any needless worry right now. As I left the classroom, I made sure to toss the note out. Why was I feeling so bitter today? I shook my head as I stepped out of the classroom. Well then, without Sunohara, where would I go and eat today then hm? I wasn't even all that hungry, to begin with. I'd figure something out. But I didn't get too far. Because before long, I was confronted.
"Hey, Okazaki!" I froze and sighed. Great. I could recognize this voice pretty well. Too well. I turned around to face her. Kyou Fujibayashi stood before me, holding her little sister's hand. Ryou looked pretty embarrassed, as though she had tried to tell her sister not to do this. "I heard about what happened in the classroom! Honestly, where do you and Sunohara get off on harassing my sister like this?" she demanded.
"Listen, I didn't have anything to do with this. There's no need to pick on me for it," I told her patiently.
"Pick on you? You're picking on her!" She told me. It's a little hard to tell from this confrontation, but the two of us are friends. Sort of. We didn't talk too much to one another, but we were still civil from time to time. This was not one of those time. "I swear, you need to reign him in more."
"Wait, why is he my responsibility?" I asked.
"I would think it would be obvious," she sighed, having cooled down a bit. "He's like a little puppy, y' know? He needs someone to tell him what to do and give him a little smack from time to time. Otherwise, he just won't understand what's right and what's wrong."
"Okay, but why is he MY dog?" I asked.
"Because you're his friend, that's why," she answered for me. "No one else can take on such a big role. It's your job to keep him out of trouble and things like that. I think you're up for the challenge right?"
"Thanks but no thanks. I don't think I'm ready for the responsibility of taking care of a pet." This made Kyou laugh, while Ryou just looked sort of uncomfortable. Heh, I could understand what she was feeling. I didn't want to be here either. I shook my head a bit, not sure what more they wanted me to say. I listened to her talk, averting my eyes. but when I did, something quickly caught my attention, and I sort of tuned Kyou out. Gazing out the window, I saw her.
Nagisa came out if the building and walked across the lawn. I watched as she settled herself down in a shady area. This was the place where we first talked. Where we introduced one another. I hadn't forgotten. I wondered if she had. I could only stare at her. She was all alone again. But something was different. She seemed depressed. Her eyes focused on her lap, and a bit of a sad expression on her face. It was a little hard to see due to the distance. But that's what I could make out. I wanted to go down there, just to thank her if I could. I couldn't help to think back, however.
When we went to her house that day, she asked if we could be friends. I told her yes. So she shouldn't have to be alone right now. I had the feeling that she had been alone quite enough at this point.
"Hey, Okazaki!" I snapped back to focus, looking at Kyou. "Were you listening to me?" She asked, fists resting on her hips.
"Mm-hm," I responded, keeping my eye on her. Kyou seemed to catch my eye and glanced down at her.
"Isn't that Furukawa?" She asked me. She sighed and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear. "She always looks so depressed. She was new to this school right? So she's probably pretty lonely." She paused for a second, and I could see her glancing at me. I turned my full attention to Furukawa, wondering what she was thinking about. I wish I could say that I didn't care, or could pass this by. But I did care. She had been so gentle and careful with me. I felt it was only right to care right back for her. "you know, I would think though that she would have at least one friend, rather than keep to herself all the time."
"She does have a friend," I told her. I didn't like that she thought of Furukawa as an introvert. I could see she was about to ask who. but I turned around and walked away silently. I couldn't watch this anymore. I had to get to her. Kyou reached out, as though she wanted to stop me. But I didn't listen. And I didn't turn around. If I had, I might have noticed the discouraged look she gave me. And I would have seen the way Ryou stared at the ground, almost looking like she would cry, simply because my attention was focused on another girl.
I left the building and slowly approached where Furukawa sat. Her eyes were still focused on her lap, and she was holding some bread in her lap. Anpan once again it would seem. Had she bought that from the cafeteria? That wasn't any good. Maybe I should try and help her get something better next time. I sat down by her side and glanced up at the window. The Fujibayashi sisters had left. Guess they didn't care to watch. I focused on Furukawa again and gently pat her shoulder. She jumped and looked up at me.
"Oh! Okazaki, hello. I didn't know you came back to school today," she said to me. She clearly seemed pretty surprised. I wonder when she had expected me to come back. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine. It was just a little cold. I had to give it some time to pass, and I'd be fine," I assured her. She breathed a little sigh and smiled at me. But it looked a little weak.
"I'm so glad," she said to me, her hand over her chest. "I was so worried when you told me about your illness. I didn't know if you would be okay or not."
"Please don't look so nervous. I told you I would be fine, didn't I? All I needed was to rest. I'm okay," I told her. She didn't say anything. She just kept smiling. I could tell there was something that she wanted to say. But she simply didn't know how to say it. Or maybe, she didn't know what to say at all. Finally, she turned her head so it faced her lap again.
"I'm so glad," she said, and I could hear her voice wavering a bit. Oh no, was she crying again? "I don't know what I would have done if it was anything serious. I don't think I could have forgiven myself." I watched her brush at her eyes before continuing. "I was afraid you would be upset with me for doing this to you. I really didn't mean to hurt you like this." I didn't know what to say as her tears fell from her chin and onto her bread. I sighed a bit. I could only imagine how long this had been hurting her and bothering her. She reached up and began to rub at her eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying like this. It isn't right."
I reached out now and silently took the bread from her. She gasped a bit and looked up at me, watching me. I tore the damp piece of bread off and handed the bread back to her as I placed the piece into my mouth. "I don't think it's such a bad thing. If you're apologizing for crying now, then I imagine you've been holding in your tears for awhile huh?" She didn't answer, only taking the bread back from me and staring at it. "Personally, I don't think that'll get you anywhere. It'll just make it feel even worse once you do confront these feelings if you ever do. Or those feelings will just come out at a bad time. And that will really cause trouble for people."
"You think so?" She asked me, still not looking at me. I was tempted to tell her, 'I know so.' But I decided against it.
"For sure." She didn't say anything for now. I watched her. Knowing her, she probably held these feelings in for a good while, and then let them out when she was alone. Those feelings of loneliness, how long had she been dealing with them? I knew how awful it felt, I didn't want someone like her to go through them. "You shouldn't have to deal with them alone either," I said to her. This made her look up at me, a little confused. I looked away now, feeling a bit embarrassed myself. "You shouldn't have to cry alone. So...if you ever feel like crying, then you can come and find me okay?"
"But...but why?" She asked softly.
"Because I'm your friend." Her eyes widened a bit as she stared at me.
"My friend? You're still my friend? Even after...what happened? Even after what I did?"
"Why wouldn't I be? I already told you, it's not your fault. I'm not going to stop because of that." She stared at me for a while. And I just had to turn and face her now. Then she smiled. She smiled up at me past her tears. It was an expression I had very rarely seen before in my life. Such a blend of emotions.
"Thank you, Okazaki. Thank you," she said to me. I couldn't say much in return. So I just placed a hand on her shoulder. "I promise, I'm going to do my best this year okay? I'm going to work hard in joining the drama club and make more friends. I'm going to do my best. Will you be there with me? Will you help me?" She asked. I smiled softly.
"Of course. I wouldn't abandon you, especially not now. I'll do my best too then okay? We can do this together. Right?"
"Right! I'll help you too Okazaki, I promise. Thank you so much!"