20

I sat bolt upright, Dean flying up with me. "Dee? What's wrong?"

I brought my hand to my nose as warm liquid seeped out. I pulled my fingers away with blood. I dashed to the bathroom, hearing both guys getting up. I closed the door and locked it. I cleaned up my nose.

"Dee?" Dean knocked on the door. "You alright, hun?"

"I'm fine." I said. I had gotten a tank top and underwear on before falling asleep, but I was beyond cold, shivering down to my core. And it wasn't because the room was cold.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had been pregnant in my past life, but what had happened? And why did the very thought of it seem to break my heart? Had I lost the child before birth? But then why had I so very clearly heard a sweet voice call out to me?

My head realed with too many questions and no answers. I finished cleaning myself up and headed out of the room.

Dean was on the end of the bed and Sam was leaning against the wall outside the bathroom. "You alright?" Sam asked softly.

I nodded and went to my open bag and pulled out a pair of clean jeans and slipped them on.

"Dee, you kinda look like you just saw a ghost. You sure you're alright? Any weird dreams you wanna share with us, babe?" Dean asked.

"Not until I know what it means." I replied. "What time is it?"

"Just after 7am." Sam answered.

"Anyway you two would be willing to get up now so we get on the road?" I asked sweetly.

"We're up already. We can stop at the diner for breakfast and coffee first."

"Fine." I said.

We quickly got packed up and dressed and checked out and headed to the diner. I ordered only coffee, I wasn't hungry. I stared out the window as the single word seemed to echo in my head.

I took the first turn behind the wheel, rolling down the window and letting my left hand out to feel the wind flow around my hand. Dean was in the backseat laying down. Sam was sitting beside me.

Once Dean's quiet snores were being heard from the back, Sam scooted over closer. "You know that you don't have to keep whatever it is to yourself. You can tell us even if it doesn't make sense to you right now. Maybe we could help."

I shook my head, "Not this time. This is something I need to figure out on my own."

"Alright, I won't pester you about it."

An hour later we stopped to refill the car. Dean took over driving and I laid down in the back seat by myself. I faced the back of the seat as I curled up. I played with my pendant and kept silently asking it to give me answers. Eventually, I fell asleep.

I fell into a dream, I was surrounded by darkness. A voice filled the darkness around me. "You seek answers." The voice was familiar and I knew instantly that it was Lucifer.

"What are you doing in my dreams, Lucifer?" I asked harshly, still unable to see anything.

"I come to offer you the answers that you seek."

"Enough riddles, just tell me."

"You want to know about her."

"Who?" I asked feeling my heart hammer in my chest.

"Your daughter…"

A child's laughter filled the darkness. I closed my eyes and felt the familiarity of the sound in my soul. A tear fell down my cheek. "I thought I could never have children. In any of my lifetimes." I said, choking back sobs.

"Not once you were blessed after your death and resurrected. Did you think that you're being blessed didn't require a sacrifice?"

A sob got lodged in my throat as I fell to my knees, "Sacrifice? Why would I sacrifice my own child?"

"You loved those two more than your own flesh and blood. You willingly gave her up, and all the memories of her ever existing just to live a short life with them."

The tears were overwhelming. All my life all I had wanted was to be able to have a child, and now I was being told that I had at some time had a child, but that I had willingly given her up. I shook my head.

"You lie! You're the devil, that's what you do!"

"And yet…" The laughter surrounded me again.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to will myself to wake up from the nightmare. I refused to believe that I had done that. A then I froze as I felt a small hand land on my cheek, filling me with the warmest sensations of love that I had ever felt before. I felt the press of little lips against my other cheek and opened my eyes to nothing but the darkness.

"You can feel it. You can feel your daughter inside you, somewhere. Those memories still exist. Do you still think I'm lying, my love?"

"Don't call me that!"

"You've completed the bond with the brothers. If you don't believe me, use them to unlock those memories. But I warn you it will be… unpleasant."

"Show her to me. If you're so powerful, let me see her."

"As you wish."

I watched as the darkness faded and a flower field appeared. Playing in the flowers was a small girl, maybe four or five years old. She had long golden-brown hair, slightly curling at the ends. Her blue eyes were like looking into my own eyes. Her smile was the sweetest thing I had ever seen.

"Do you believe me now?"

"Why?" I said through a sob as the image faded. "Why would I give her up?"

"Seek those memories for yourself, my love. I cannot tell you what your reasons for it were. Only you can. Let her name sound in your heart… Arria…"

"Arria…" The name was like a whisper on my lips and my heart cracked further.

"Perhaps next time we meet you will listen to me better, my love."

I woke, sitting bolt upright in the back of the impala as we were driving into Bobby's yard.

Dean put the impala in park and cut the engine turning to look at me. Sam was already turned and looking at me.

"Dee?" Sam asked softly.

"Hun, why are you crying?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and brought my hands to my cheeks and wiped away the tears. But they kept coming.

The guys got out of the car and Sam moved the seat and gently took my hand and pulled me out of the car and into his arms. Dean ended up behind me his hand on my shoulder.

"Dee? What's wrong, we can't help you if you don't tell us." Sam said softly.

"Why you three standing out there, get your asses in here." Bobby yelled from the porch.

"Just give us a minute, Bobby." Dean said.

"I'm fine." I said pulling away and wiping the tears.

"Dee… You're not getting out of this that easily. Tell us what's going on." Dean said sternly.

"Later, I promise." I replied.

Dean and Sam both eyed me and then sighed. "Fine, but I will hold you to that." Dean said and I nodded.

We headed inside as I did my best to ignore the tugging on my heart strings. I sat down on the sofa.

"Well, let's see this dagger of your's." Bobby said when we were all inside.

I nodded and had to close my eyes to center the energy. Once I had it I ran my right down my left forearm and willed the dagger into my hand. And held it up.

"Well, that's new!" Bobby said surprised. "Here, let me see it."

I willed the dagger toward him and placed it in his hand as he stared at me in shock.

"That ain't nothing, Bobby. You wanna know how she made the dagger? Because that's a bit more impressive." Dean said proudly.

"This silver?" Bobby asked.

I nodded, "Pure."

"And you can just pull it out when ever?"

"It's a part of me. It's made with my blood. And I mean that literally." I replied.

"Alright, what else can you do with it?"

I materialized the blade in my hand from Bobby's hand and then let the blade fly freely around the room, the familiar thrill of the control of it rushing through my veins.

I decided to cling to the fact that if I had sacrificed my child for any reason, it had to be a really good reason. I wouldn't just accept it without there being a really good reason for it.

The blade danced around the room and then landed gently back in my hand and sheathed it again.

Bobby took his hat off and scratched his head, "And that's how you killed the wraith, Dean was talking about?"

I nodded.

"And this will kill Lucifer?" Bobby asked.

I shrugged, "At the very least I know that it will hurt him. He seemed to know that I stood no chance against him without it." I took a deep breath. "Speaking of Lucifer, he came to me."

Dean and Sam sat on either side of me, "Come again?" Dean asked.

"Lucifer came to me in my dream, when I was sleeping in the car."

"Um, okay, you wanna be a bit more specific?" Sam said.

I stood up and took off my jacket, leaving the flannel shirt over the tank top on. "He told me that before I was blessed I had a daughter." I fiddled with my pendant unable to meet anyones eyes.

"But you said-" Sam started.

"I know what I said. Apparently, I sacrificed her to be with you. She was from my arranged marriage, the only thing good that came from it."

"Dee…" Sam said softly. "He's the devil. He lies. It's kind of what he does. You can't believe him."

I wrapped an arm around myself, "Her name was Arria." I said ignoring his words.

"Dee, that's what he wants you to think. I don't know why, but he's just messing with your head, hun." Dean added standing up and walking toward me.

A tear fell down my cheek and he brushed it aside, "I felt her, Dean. I heard her laugh. I saw her smile." I clutched my hands to my chest. "I can still feel her, Dean. She was my child and for some reason I sacrificed her to be with you two!"

Sam stood up, "Alright, let's just say that it all true. Why would you sacrifice your child just for us? There has to be more to it. There's a reason Lucifer shared this with you, if it is real."

Dean looked at me, "Can you show her to me?"

I nodded and took a deep breath.

"Can you show her to both of us at the same time?" Sam asked.

"I don't see why not."

"What are you two going on about?" Bobby asked, confused.

"Just give us a few, Bobby." Dean said and turned back toward me.

We stood in a triangle and I placed a hand on each of their cheeks and closed my eyes. I hadn't shared any of my dreams with them, but I couldn't see how it would be any different The dream was now a memory.

I grasped the memory of the dream, playing it from the beginning, finding that it was easier to share something so recent. When the image of Arria took form, I felt my cheeks wet with tears.

The image cracked and was replaced with another one. A very early memory, me standing and rubbing my swollen belly. Sam stepped out of the shadows.

"Your husband would be pleased to know you are with child, too bad he had to run off to battle." Sam said softly.

"He wouldn't be pleased. The child isn't his…" I turned and braced myself for what was coming. "It's yours, my love."

The image fragmented and a searing pain traveled down my spine and I collapsed to my knees.

"Dee!" Both Sam and Dean yelled as they kneeled down beside me.

"Get something for her!" Bobby yelled at Sam as he wheeled over.

I moved my fingers to my nose, knowing it was bleeding. I was hacking into memories that were supposed to be locked from me. And they were getting harder to take.

Sam returned with a clean washcloth and I put it to my nose. The pain down my spine fading. I let Dean help me to the sofa.

"What was that?" Sam asked.

Dean smacked him, not too hard, on the shoulder. "That child she's talking about, she was your's! Not from her husband before us. She was cheating on her husband with at least you first! You two had a kid. Gotta hand it to you though, she was a cute little thing."

Sam looked lost and walked away into the kitchen.

"Hold up, now. So, you two have been in her past lives?" Bobby asked.

"Just her first life. We started this together. We are the reason she's lived dozens of lives. Short lives, never living a full life. Always being a warrior. Always fight for us." Dean said.

I slipped off the couch and went into the kitchen as Bobby and Dean talked. Sam was staring out the window over the sink with his arms crossed.

I stood beside him, "Do you believe me know?" I asked softly.

"Arria…" Sam said softly, the heartbreak I felt mirroring his his tone. "The moment you showed her to me…"

"You could feel it too, couldn't you?" I asked softly.

He nodded. "She looked just like you."

More tears fell over my cheeks. "I need to know why I sacrificed… our daughter for this blessing."

Sam wrapped his arms around me. "We'll figure this out together. All of us. You wouldn't have agreed to it unless it was for a really good reason."

His arms were around me tightly. "We can figure it out together. Just like how I saw that memory."

"Dee, I don't know if that's the way to find out. It seemed to take a toll on you." Sam added softly.

"It's the only way. Anything Lucifer has to say on it… I can't believe him. I need to know for myself… for us." I pulled away and looked up at him.

He looked down at me, his eyes searching mine.

"Please, Sam?"

He sighed, "Alright, let's do this then."

We walked back in and Dean stood up. "Why do you two look like you're headed to your deaths?"

"Stop being so dramatic!" Bobby said. "What are you plannin' on doing, Dee?"

"We're going to search for those locked memories." I replied. "We need to know why I made such a great sacrifice. And I have a feeling that it could give us the upper hand. Like both of you said, Lucifer has a plan. He wouldn't have come to me and told me what he did if it wasn't part of his plan."

"Now you're thinkin' girl. Get to it." Bobby said.

"Wait, Dee, that… Are you sure you can handle this?" Dean asked.

"We don't have a choice. We need this information." I said.

Dean nodded, "Alright."

I sat down in the middle of the sofa and the guys sat on either side of me. "I have a feeling this isn't going to feel very good. You two can't break away from me."

They glanced at each other, the same look of concern, but they nodded. Each of them took one of my hands and placed it on their cheeks, keeping their hand over mine.

I felt the energy flowing between us and closed my eyes and sought out the hidden memories. It felt like trying to break down a physical wall. I willed our combined energy into it and after a few hard tries I felt something crack. A pain seared down my spine and my back arched slightly from the pain, but I refused to let go.

In a burst of pain, images began to flicker. The birth of Arria, Sam there with me. Us holding our daughter. We watched her grow up. She didn't grow up with just Sam, Dean was there too, playing with her and laughing with her. It wasn't until Arria was five that something changed between the relationship with the three of us. Something had poisoned them against each other.

I watched as they were determined to fight to the death. Then I watched as I stood between them just as they were rushing swords at each other, both swords entered me and whatever it was that had poisoned them against each other had instantly vanished as they both fell to their knees beside me and wept, pleading to Aphrodite to bring their love back.

I lost the images as my body spasmed and pain flared through me. My hands fell from their cheeks as I wrapped my hands around myself. I couldn't open my eyes. I couldn't even hear them. Then everything faded, the pain, my body…

I finally opened my eyes, back before my guardian.

"You are learning well. You have already learned that this is your final life. You have unlocked all of your memories. You have found your dagger. You have all accepted this strange and yet very powerful connection you all share."

"Why did I sacrifice my daughter for this blessing? Tell me it was worth it! Please?" I said getting to my feet.

"You didn't sacrifice your daughter. You saved her from a horrible fate. You brought her to a better place where she still looks over you."

Tears fell over my cheeks, not sorrow, relief. "Where?"

My guardian was surrounded in a bright light and I had to shield my eyes as it grew in brightness and then faded. When I brought my hands down. I felt my body shake uncontrollably. I fell to my knees.

"Do you recognize me better this way, momma?" I was staring at my little girl.

"Arria…" My voice cracked and I could feel the tears pouring from my eyes.

She walked toward me, "I have always been your guardian, just as you were mine, momma. I never left you." She wrapped her arms around me.

I could smell her sweet scent full of flowers and vanilla. I wrapped my arms around her and cried.

"I couldn't tell you until you figured out for yourself that you even had a daughter." She said softly as she pulled away and wiped my cheeks.

"My sweet Arria. My sweet girl." I brushed her cheek tenderly.

"I've been here watching you through every life. Waiting until you found both my fathers."

"What do you mean both?" I asked her confused. "I thought Sam was your father."

"Biologically, yes. But I grew up those few years believing that both of them were my fathers. They loved me equally, just like they loved you. And you and I loved them both."

"Were we happy?" I asked her softly as I smoothed her beautiful hair. "Were you happy?"

"Very much so. No daughter could ever have parents that loved her more. When you were killed, it was because of a darkness that had been planted in them. Your death let them see past that darkness and mourn the loss of you together."

"But why would I sacrifice you just to be with them?"

"You didn't. When you were blessed by Aphrodite herself, she told you what would happen. The trials that you would face. The evil. She showed you the horror that awaited for you. Even if you had not accepted her gift… I still would've had a horrible fate. A gruesome death. You pleaded with Aphrodite to take me away and so, she made me your guardian, locking the memories away until the time was right."

"And now the time is right?"

"Yes, Lucifer will make you an offer. It will sound tempting, but you must not take it. Now that you know the truth… it should be less tempting. He believes that you truly sacrificed me for them. Let him continue to believe that, it will give you an advantage."

"Alright."

"When you go back, you will be able to share this with both papas and they will feel me as well. They will feel my love for them and my hug. They will know that the bond we all share is so much more than that world. And one day when the world is safe we will all be together again. All of us, here."

I cupped her cheek, "I do not want to leave you." I said with more tears.

She brought her small sweet hands to my cheeks and wiped my tears. "I know, momma, but now is not the time. There are other children down there in that world that need you to stop this so that they can live long happy lives. There are mothers holding infants imagining the future that their child will have. None of that will happen if you do not return and finish what has been started."

"My sweet Arria, I'm so sorry." I said with more tears, barely able to see her. I kept having to blink them away.

Her little form on my lap and in my arms was perfect bliss.

"Do not be sorry, momma. I have been happy here. I have seen you do amazing things and save so many people. But there are more people you need to save."

"Will I see you again before the end?"

She smiled and then whispered, "I will visit you in your dreams as often as I can. Now that you know who I am, I can now."

I nodded, "Alright." I wrapped her in my arms once more, relishing her small arms wrapped around my neck. "I love you, Arria."

"I love you, momma." She pulled away. "It's time now." She kissed my cheek and I closed my eyes as everything around me faded.

I sat up gasping for air. Sam and Dean were beside me.

"Damnit, Dee!" Dean said, a rush of relief.

I smiled and they both exchanged glances. "I know the truth and I have something to share with you both."

They looked at each other in confusion. "You sure you're up to it?" Dean asked.

"For this, yes. And trust me both of you will be very… happy." I smiled as I stood up. "Let's go outside." I said seeing that Bobby was feeling a bit uncomfortable.

Dean and Sam followed me outside onto the porch. I turned and faced them.

"This gives us an advantage. I'm sure how yet, but I am sure that it will play into our favor at some point." I said softly.

"Are you sure this isn't something you two need to share alone?" Dean asked.

"Yes, you have a message too." They both looked at me strangely and I smiled at them. "Are you ready?"

They glanced at each other and then nodded.

I stepped toward them and wrapped a hand around each of their cheeks and the memory didn't require any coaxing it flowed happily into them. I was even able to keep my eyes open and watch them as they saw and felt everything I had felt.

Their knees buckled and I knew that they were feeling the warmth of Arria's love and her hug. I went to my knees keeping the connection until I knew it was done.

Sam and Dean both had a hand over mine as they opened their eyes. They looked at me with the same emotions that were filling me: relief, love, happiness… and so many others that there were no words for. I could feel the swell of energy flowing between us, we had yet one very important thing that we all shared: the unconditional love of a child we called ours.

Even Sam and Dean had each other's shoulder clasped as we seemed to fall into a bundle of smiles, clinging to each other. We could feel Arria's love flowing through us. Our bond was so much more than just the love for each other, it was the love of a child that solidified us as a unit.

"You didn't sacrifice her…" Sam said in relief.

"No, I saved her from a terrible fate. She's been with me the whole time and I never knew it." I replied softly.

"She.. she was… ours?" Dean asked in disbelief.

"She was ours." Sam said with a smile.

"How is it possible that we could… feel her? LIke we were there and really hugged her?" Dean asked.

"Because that's what she wanted. She wanted to give you both that message." I replied.

I got to my feet and held a hand out to each of them as they got to their feet and slid a hand into mine. Both smiling.

"So, Lucifer will make an offer… a tempting one…" Dean said after a few moments.

"Yes, as far as he knows, Arria was sacrificed. I have an idea of what the offer will be, but we'll have to wait for it to happen. We have to play along." I said.

"Alright. I guess we cross that bridge when we get there." Sam said.

"Okay, I'm gonna go fill in Bobby." Dean smiled. "Give you two a moment." He slipped inside.

Sam pulled me to his chest and kissed me with overwhelming passion. I wrapped my hands around his neck. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.

"She's beautiful, just like you." He said softly with a smile.

"She's perfect." I replied.

"She called me papa." He said with a wholehearted chuckle. A tear fell over his cheek and I brushed it away.

"She's safe, and she's watching over us." My pendant was warm against my chest and it was pleasant.

We went back inside and sat down on the sofa beside Dean, me in the middle. Dean had an arm wrapped around my shoulders. Sam's hand was laced with mine.

"Alright, so you three have the strangest history and the strangest relationship in the history of the world." Bobby said looking at us.

"And yet there's still a reality TV show called Sister Wives, where one guy is married to multiple women. Please tell me how this is any stranger than that?" I replied, getting a chuckle from all three of them.

"Alright, you got a point there, but still… it's a bit strange. So, this kid."

"Arria." Dean and Sam said together, making me smile.

"Okay, Arria… she's Sam's by blood, but you all raised her together?" Bobby asked.

"Yes." Dean replied. "She's a cute little thing." He smiled tenderly. "Looks just like Dee."

"Alright, so, Lucifer thinks you sacrificed her for those two. He'll make you an offer and you're gonna play it out in hopes that things fall in your favor?"

"We don't have anything else to go on. But Lucifer did tell me for a reason and he doesn't know that Arria's been my guardian."

"And you got any idea what this offer might be?" Bobby asked.

"I can only think of one thing." I replied.

"And what's that?"

"I think he's going to offer to bring her back to me."