Chapter 48 - RVculous Race

…

(Day ? of the RV Race.)

(Team 1 - Alfred, Dawn, Mandy, Sakaki, Sebastian, Tyler.)

"Okay," Mandy snarled, clenching her fists. "I have had it up to HERE! Here, do you hear me? I have trapped in this RV for what feels like years! If I don't get to step outside, and get out of this smelly vehicle that I have been trapped in for metaphorical years, I am going to freaking KILL somebody!"

The other teammates all exchanged glances, except Sakaki, who practically huddled up to the wheel as she drove the RV. That is, if one can consider the almost immeasurable amount of pressure her small foot was putting on the gas petal to be driving.

"You think she'll do it?" Tyler asked the others, watching the furious cultist chick nervously.

"I tend to take threats of death a little seriously," Sebastian commented, tapping the side of his glasses.

"Perhaps she is prone to exaggeration," Dawn said. "After all, she believes we have been trapped in her for years, while it has actually been-"

"YEARS, I SAY!"

Mandy paced back and forth in the RV, snarling and huffing. Dawn was the only one who was rather patient through it all, and she spoke up again. "I know I am a guest here on your team, but I may suggest-"

"If I'm not out of this RV, and seeing something other than the same damn interior in the next ten seconds, I will resort to second grade tactics."

The others stared at her in confusion, and Tyler nervously raised his hand. "Do you mean tactics of a higher grade, or-"

"IWANTOUT IWANTOUT IWANTOUT IWANTOUT IWANTOUT IWANT-"

Mandy stood outside of the RV, observing the scenery. If one could call it that, since there wasn't much scene to it. The fields on both sides of the road was devoid of life, plant or animal. The short hills in the distance lacked texture. Everything was completely boring here at the immediate stop.

"I hate you all," Mandy growled, crossing her arms in a huff. "You picked the one spot in all of Canada that was more boring than the inside of that stupid RV. Stupid scenery, BE MORE INTERESTING!"

As she kicked the dirt and dust around, for reasons only she knew (and would later talk about in the confessional), the others watched her from the inside.

"Okay, dude," Tyler said to Alfred, "aren't you guys, like, semi-dating? Can't you do something to keep her entertained?"

"There's only so much one can do," Alfred admitted, "when you're in a car with four other people and cameras all over."

"I thought you were gonzo, man!"

"Yes, I have no shame, that much is true. But the lady still does!"

Outside, Mandy was picking her nose and flicking away the results, shouting about how it brightened up the place.

Sebastian leaned back in his seat, then glanced over at Dawn. "My dear moon child, do you think there is anything you can do in your power to calm her down?"

"I might, but how about you, my dear philosopher~?" Dawn asked, tilting her head to the side as she inquired. "I believe you know about the pressure point to knock someone out?"

"Yes, but I save that for people I don't like or who need it in an emergency. Mandy is simply exasperated from being in the same vehicle for days on end."

As the two talked, Sakaki slumped back in the driver seat, depressed to hear the blonde guest and the philosopher getting along so well. It had been like this most of the trip, and she kept cursing herself to try and speak up. Well, cursing herself as much as she could. ("Gosh… gosh DARN it, me!")

Tyler was about the opposite, waving his hands around and speaking energetically. "Look, guys, we're in the final inning, so to speak! We just need Mandy to calm down for the rest of the trip, and it'll be a quick coast to victory."

Dawn chuckled, politely covering her mouth. "Your leadership skills are developing, Tyler~. There once was a time that you would allow people to push you around, but now you are a compassionate leader-in-training."

"Um, thanks. I mean, not that I don't appreciate the compliments, but we really need to do something about Mandy. Do you have any ideas?"

The moon child tapped her lips, then beamed as an idea crossed her mind. "Okay, I think I got an idea. Let's get some hot water…"

Mandy lay on her back inside the RV, her head in Dawn's lap. The cultist chick held up a thermos, and toasted to the crowd again. "Wheee~," she cheered with a rather sappy slur in her voice, "and then! Then… then the undead rhinoceros came back and chased us right out of the zoo, and we were driving that golf cart as fast as we could…"

"Does anyone have any idea what she's talking about?" Tyler asked.

"No, but it's rather interesting," Alfred commented, wolfing down some popcorn. "I wish I could be part of this scene she's talking about!"

(RV Confessional Cam - Refurbished after three "years.")

Mandy - *growling* "Look, I just don't do well trapped in the same place for a long time, okay? I was trying to do something like a butterfly effect out in the plains, kicking up dust in hopes it would turn into a tornado or something! One little unnatural disaster, that's all I want for this boring trip!"

Sakaki - *sad sigh* "It's been a lot of days, and I still don't know what to say to Sebastian. That Dawn girl… she's so nice… why couldn't I be more like her? I wish I had blond hair."

Tyler - "So yeah, Dawn said my leadership skills are improving, and I gotta say, I'm rather flattered. After all, what I've gone through, I am determined to never let someone order me around!

"Except I have a coach back home. And my girlfriend kind of tells me what she wants… and… okay, yeah, I gotta work on this, it's complicated."

Dawn - *studying a map and humming* "We're pretty close to Maclean Stadium, if we keep on the road. Then again, sometimes, you need to leave the road and explore life~!"

*She smiles, then scratches the back of her head.* "I tried that once when we were driving. As it turns out, RVs aren't really good at leaving the road and exploring life. Haha, silly me~!"

(Team 2 - Anita, Belinda, Geoff, Gwen, Lindsay, Sierra.)

"Okay, I'm not sure if we're on the right road or not," Gwen admitted, as she stared at the map in her hands. "Why on Earth are we not using the GPS?"

"It started speaking in a weird, foreign language," Lindsay said, nervously glancing at the GPS device as if it could leap out at her with scary, unknown words. This wasn't the best of things to do, considering she was driving.

"And nobody thought to try turning it back?" Gwen asked, growing a little irritated.

"I tried, but I couldn't find Canadian in the language section."

The goth face-palmed, and angrily started pushing buttons on the GPS. As she cycled through the languages, getting Spanish, Japanese, Portuguese, Mandarin, French, Korean, Hindu, and Norwegian, the others in the back tried to make due with the tense situation.

"You know," Anita said, smiling over at Geoff, "they really need to make a Dude language. Everything would be simpler that way. It'd be all, 'Dude, that way,' and 'Bro, left now'! Wouldn't that be great?"

Geoff didn't say anything. He was still staring at the floor, sighing heavily. The party animal was much more of a party pooper, as he had spent the whole trip next to silent. Anita had been trying to get him to speak, but no results were made.

Sierra shook her head, sighing. "This is no fun. I was really hoping when I got on this team, that we'd be having parties every day on the RV! Geoff once threw a party in the back of a truck in the parking lot of his high school, and it was awesome!"

"You go to the same school as Geoff?" Anita asked, slightly curious.

"No, I just happened to be there, when I was trying to find out what the cast of Total Drama did in-between seasons."

Anita blinked, then turned to whisper to Belinda, "You think it'd be rude if we file restraining orders when we get back?"

The clairvoyant smirked and replied, "You think those would stop her? That's kind of naive of you, Anita."

The bombshell huffed, blowing her bangs away from her eyes. "I guess that's what happens when you wanna be famous. You get people fascinated with you."

"Happens when you're not famous as well. Life is bizarre."

Anita decided now was the time to see how the RV trip was going, and walked up to the front of the vehicle. "Any luck with the GPS, Gwen?"

"I don't even recognize what *bleeping bleep* language it is on now," Gwen shouted in frustration, punching the glove box so as not to let her frustrations punch the GPS and break it.

"Don't break the glove box," Lindsay cried out. "That's where I stored all the gloves I bought at the last gas station."

"What did you need gloves for, Lindsay?" Anita, trying to make calm conversation, asked the blond gal.

"I'm not sure… they were just really cute!"

Gwen, growing more frustrated, pressed the scroll button on the GPS to cycle through the languages.

"Vinsamlegast gefa mer mina travel abending," the GPS proudly stated.

"Okay, what language IS that?" Gwen declared, grasping her head and growling in utter consternation. "I have never… wait… that sounds vaguely like one of my favorite bands…"

"Well, don't worry too much about it," Anita tried to comfort her friend. "We are on the last leg of the race, it should only be about one more day."

"Good, because it's starting to stink in here," the goth gal remarked, rubbing her forehead. "I don't want to be sexist, but I think Geoff hasn't showered once since we started."

"Um, actually, that would be me," Anita nervously admitted. "Yeah, I just am not 100% sure Chris Maclean wouldn't put a camera in the shower. You know, seeing how there was a camera in the outhouse for two seasons."

The brakes on the RV were stomped on so hard, that everyone was pitched forward. Anita was thrown off her feet, and her head hit the GPS ("Mina travel asdenting!") while everyone else had to grip their seats tightly. When the screeching sound stopped, Lindsay turned towards Anita, the blonde's blue eyes wide in shock.

"There was a camera in that outhouse?!"

(RV Confessional Cam - Yep, and we were there every time!)

Lindsay - "Why does no one tell me about these things? It's like that one time, I totally didn't understand how babies were made, and I thought I got pregnant when I shook a boy's hand!"

*She sobs and covers her face.* "I took what I thought was a home pregnancy test. My mom got so upset over what I did to that thermometer!"

Sierra - "I wouldn't put that past Chris to put cameras in the shower. I think he's a closet pervert, he kind of looks like it. I have no idea why my mom likes him so much, it's kind of creepy."

*She checks her phone, and sighs in exasperation.* "Izzy still hasn't sent me any pictures of Cody in the shower! Darn it, maybe she's been busy!" *With a heavy sigh, she glances at the camera.* "What? It's not for my vlog, it's just for me."

Geoff - *He clenches his hat over his face, screaming into it to muffle it.* "This sucks! Everything sucks! Ever since I allowed my emotions to get the best of me, nothing has been fun! I cannot face my girlfriend, I cannot face my friends, I've… I've…"

*He starts pounding on the wall of the room.* "I want my life back, damn it! Why hasn't anyone invented the time machine yet? How hard could it be? Shouldn't there be, like, a whole science division devoted to this kind of thing?"

(Meanwhile, in a nearby Science Division of Canada…)

A young lady was furiously scribbling complex data onto a dry erase board, while her colleague watched, ensuring she didn't make any errors. As the standing genius continued screaming, a manager-type person stepped into the room.

"HEY!" He shouted, startling both women so badly that their glasses nearly fell off their faces. "You! Have you figured out the formula for time travel yet?"

The woman at the dry erase board growled in frustration. "Progress is being made, Stuart, just please cease your consternation and allow the geniuses to continue on their work!"

The bald manager growled, and left the room. The seated genius sipped her latte, and pointed out, "You said yesterday that time travel was mathematically impossible."

"It is, but I don't want him on my back over that, bureaucrats do not understand real science. I'm working on something the world truly needs."

"What's that?"

"A silent leaf blower."

The seated genius chuckled. "Still trying to make the impossible possible, Ellody?"

"It can happen!"

(Team 3 - Beth, Harold, Leshawna, Rodney, Yoshi, Xander.)

"What do you suppose ever happened to Wawanakwa Island?" Harold mused aloud as he inspected his laser sword.

The trip had been rather uneventful, save for the landslide that blocked the path temporarily, the freak blizzard that snowed them all inside their vehicle, the ravenous creature that had clawed to get inside the one night and Rodney was sure it was a werewolf, the biker gang that Xander may or may not have owed money to chasing after them, and the quiet fellow wearing a hockey mask that they had given a ride.

All of said issues had been resolved with the laser sword, it had been relatively boring to the nerd.

"I think it would make an interesting tourist attraction," Beth said. "I mean, think of it! See the sights used by reality TV show Total Drama for two seasons! Try some of the challenges they did!"

"Ooo, maybe they could make it into a wicked parkour park," Rodney said. "Or a military training station, where they have the recruits participate in the challenges to get them in shape."

"You could probably turn into into some giant scare park," Xander suggested. "I mean, half of that island, from what I saw, was dangerous as all hell. Just a tour would give people the creeps, especially Boney Island!"

"Naw naw naw, you all are thinking too big," Leshawna declared. "What you can do is buy it, build a mansion or a cottage on it, and some rich schmuck will take it for five times more than what it's worth because it'll make him feel more powerful on there with his massive ego."

Yoshiki rolled his eyes. "Why are you all thinking of things to do with it? They should just sink Wawanakwa and be done with that eyesore of an island. Or better yet, use it as a place to dump chemical waste. It's not like it has any historical value, it was just a wretched island where some of you spent two seasons of a show on."

"I totally think they could weaponize it," Harold declared. "See, they make a base deep underground, and then they install devices into the trees to control the weather for an ecological fortress. In case of any air attacks, you could make the trees into missiles and launch them at invaders. And just to ensure no one takes the greatest weaponized island belonging to Canada, include a self-destruct security protocol amid a bunch of corridors of booby traps and defense robots!"

The entire team stared at the nerd, utterly boggled at this outrageous idea. Even Leshawna appeared rather weirded out by her boyfriend's imagination. It wasn't until Yoshi spoke up that the awkward silence was broken.

"Would the defense robots be disguised as harmless animals?" he asked.

"For sure."

"I like it," the warrior declared, clapping his hands. "No one would suspect the weaponized island! My home country of Japan could learn a thing or two from you, Harold!"

(RV Confessional Cam - Why does all of that sound so familiar?)

Yoshi - "Okay, I didn't really agree with Harold, there's no possible way that you could do that with an island without it costing billions of dollars. But you know what? The guy is pretty cool, he deserves more than just puzzled stares."

Leshawna - *sad sigh* "This is why I've been questioning my relationship with Harold. He gets really into these things that sound like they come from a video game, or a cartoon, or something of the like. As cute and creative as it is, I don't get into that as much. I don't like where this is heading, but I'm trying to make it work."

Beth - "It's kind of fun to talk about "what if" scenarios when you're stuck on the same car for five or six days in a row. Yeah, I've even forgotten how long we've been on the road, it's kind of a blur. Details like that are losing all focus to me, that's why this was so not worth coming back to the show temporarily."

*She sulks, then something crosses her mind.* "Wait… if we were all just discussing the possibilities of what to do with Wawanakwa together in the cabin, who was driving?"

(Team 4 - Alejandro, Arthur, Ezekiel, Heather, Sadie, Zachary.)

Arthur took some rock candy out of the bag, happily tossing it into his mouth. "I cannot believe I never had any of this until now. It's freaking delicious! Hey, Al, want some?"

He offered the bag to the still-scratched and beaten Alejandro, who hadn't forgotten that the rock candy had been one of the weapons used by the vicious guy at the gas station. When the handsome teen glared down Arthur, the loner shrugged and said, "Hey, your loss, Al. Just because someone hit you in the face with a kind of food doesn't mean you should give up on it forever."

"It's insane how much that philosophy could be applied to my life," Sadie admitted.

After an awkward silence of no one quite understanding what she meant by that, conversation resumed normally. "So how long have we been driving?" Heather asked her boyfriend, as she drove their large vehicle. "And just how much more do you think we have to go? Just how long was this challenge supposed to be?"

"Those are all questions only those of us intertwined with the cosmos can truly understand, my beloved Heather," Ezekiel spoke, sounding a little like Dawn with his exaggeration. "How long has it bin? How much longer are we supposed to go, eh? Who can answers these questions, who can say?"

When his girlfriend pursed her lips, a sign she was a combination of annoyed and amused, he chuckled and said, "I doo'nt knoo', eh, but maybe if you change the channel to Maclean Stadium…"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, Chris hired out a radio station to broadcast all the bands and such he hired foo'r the duration of our absence, eh."

Heather began fiddling with the radio, as those in the back contemplated this. "I don't get why we have to go driving around for a week," Zachary admitted. "I mean, just how many bands could he hire on short notice?"

"Probably a bunch of wannabe boy bands and such," Arthur agreed, helping himself to more rock candy. He offered the rest to Sadie, who happily scarfed it down.

"Hmmm, I know you guys are, like, so going to roll your eyes, but I don't mind boy boys," she admitted. "I mean, hey, if you get a bunch of cute guys who can sing, what's the harm?"

"Bands should play instruments," Zachary said. He then scratched the back of his head, remembering he was supposed to be nice to Sadie. So, as much as it killed him, he sighed and said, "But hey, they aren't all that bad… I like… that one."

"Aww, that's so cool of you," Sadie exclaimed. "What songs did they do?"

"Um… that one song about that one thing."

"I love that song!"

Zachary squinted in confusion, then glanced at Alejandro. "Got any more food that the cashier hit you with, Al?"

"I swear, I hate all of you so much," Alejandro grumbled, heading off to the shower; he never could get the feel of sticky rock candy out of his normally perfect hair.

"Friendly guy," Zachary remarked. He turned towards the front of the RV, and called out, "You guys find the station yet?"

"I think so," Heather called back. She had stopped on a station with a relatively familiar voice hosting it.

"Thank you for tuning into our marathon, live at Maclean Stadium," said someone who sounded like he was speaking English with a beak. "We appreciate your support, and now, here's Sexy Eyebrows!"

The RV was filled with very loud guitar music, and then a rather dark and brooding voice started yelling-screaming. "VINSAMLEGAST GEFA," he hollered with the torment of a thousand pained screams, "MER MINA TRAVEL ABENDING!"

Ezekiel and Heather exchanged glances, and the multi-lingual prairie boy shook his head in confusion. "I joo'st doo'nt get Icelandic bands," he admitted as he turned the volume down.

"How much longer?" Zachary whined.

"Do you want to drive?" Heather snapped.

"Nope, ain't gonna do that. Cops see a black man driving, they gonna pull us over for a ticket and we'll lose the challenge."

At that moment, the RV was approaching a police car stationed at a speed check point. The two ladies sat in their car, rather bored with their mundane job.

"Okay, we're only on traffic duty because Officers Ealbox and Christmas got suspended over that fiasco a few days ago," one of them said to the other. "Don't blow this by being too much like… you."

"You say that as if you don't know me," the other cadet said. "And I know me pretty well, better than anyone else ever could."

The RV for Team 4 raced by, and the cadet with the speed checking device (the narrator doesn't have time to look up real names, it's not like there's something one can use on a computer to look up these things in an instant) read the kilometers per hour.

"Were they speeding?" the first cadet asked.

"Maybe, but I just don't feel like going on another high speed chase today. I am kind of zonked after the last two."

The first cadet nodded solemnly, then her eyes widened in realization. "When did we have one, let alone two, high speed chases today?"

"During the nap you took. You're a really heavy sleeper, that's not a good thing if we're ever on a stake-out."

(Team 5 - Bridgette, Courtney, Duncan, Eva, Noah, Valerie.)

"I still cannot believe you got us a ticket, Duncan," Courtney hollered in frustration. "We let you drive for ten minutes, and we get hit with a fine! This better not go on my record!"

"You weren't driving, Princess, why are you worried about your record?"

"You really think my political career isn't going to be hurt by the fact I'm dating someone who's getting speeding tickets in an RV?! I didn't even think you had a license!"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't. It all depends on how long they'll let me drive the Bus of Losers before checking!"

The CIT buried her face in her hands, consternated and confused. She opted to listen to the radio instead.

"MOOMEE TRAVEL OUTSTANTING," Sexy Eyebrows' song exploded into the RV. "DEPANTSING MEEPA ME NOG NINO!"

Courtney immediately turned off the radio. "Ridiculous language," she said with a scoff.

"Hey, I kind of liked that," Eva called from the back.

"Gonna go pick a fight with her over it?" Valerie asked, quirking an eyebrow at the bodybuilder.

Eva crossed her arms and glanced to the side. "No! I'm… not going to start fights over small things like that."

The politician in the making chuckled. "Oh, I see what you're doing! You're trying to get your temper under control, because Cody is trying to decide which of you he wants to go out with!"

"And what's that got to do with you, pretty in pink?"

"Could be there's a betting pot on who he'll pick, and could be that someone has a few bucks in it."

Normally, Eva would get more than a little angry over something like this; however, all the time she had spent with her friends over the course of this season and the last had taught her some control. So instead, she merely smirked right back at Valerie, and said, "Oh, should politicians be gambling?"

"I'm not a politician yet."

"Yeah, guess that's why you're really enjoying sharing a room with three men currently."

Valerie rolled her eyes. "And you wonder why I didn't bet on you. No tact."

"Being direct isn't a problem, you… you… girl who wears far too much pink!"

Nearby, Noah was munching on some popcorn they had bought at the last gas station. "This isn't exactly the battle of wits I was hoping for to pass the time on this car ride."

"Would you like Courtney to turn the radio back on?" Bridgette offered.

"No thanks. I had it on yesterday, and all Chris Maclean was doing was mentioning what had happened in seasons' past, and what was going on in the latest season. Why would I want to waste my time on that?"

The surfer girl cocked an eyebrow, smiling slyly at Noah. "Not all of us are 'Noah-it-alls,' you know… ah?"

"Bridgette, please don't, I always regarded you as a member of this show with some intelligence and wit."

"There's only so much can do when stuck on an RV for a week."

"Puns should never be one of those things. In fact, puns should not be a thing ever."

Bridgette clicked her tongue, leaning back in her seat. As she felt her stomach rumble, and realized there was only that bag of popcorn Noah was munching on left as their only food, she spoke up. "Can we stop at the next gas station? I am really starving, and the last one didn't have anything vegetarian. … Or anything remotely hygienic."

"Yeah, no fitness bars or anything," Eva remarked. "But then again, gas stations in the middle of nowhere probably don't stock for the jogger, but the driver. Still, all I'm saying is-"

"Blah blah blah, we get it," Valerie declared. "You want your protein bars, and Bridgette wants a salad. Duncan! Stop at the next gas station!"

"You got it, Princess 2.0!"

"Oh no way," Courtney barked. "You are not calling her that!"

"What? Princess is just my pet name for when you're being bossy, I thought you didn't even like it!"

"Then why is she the new version of it, huh? Are you going to start dating her next?! I thought you were going to try your luck with Gwen, with the amount of time you've been spending with her!"

(RV Confessional Cam - Outhouse Confessional Cam 3.0.)

Duncan - *frowning, then speaks in a mocking tone* "'Are you dating Gwen now?' 'Why do you call other people that name you sometimes call me, even though I hate it?' 'Why are you speeding on the most boring car trip you've ever been on?'

"ARGH! Sometimes, I don't know why I bother. Courtney's hot and quick-witted, but she's also hot-headed so much of the time. She's so much more fun when she's not on the show!"

Courtney - *grumbling angrily to herself* "Princess 2.0, huh? He doesn't get to call me that nickname for almost a year, then give Valerie of all people the new version! I am not an iPhone, Duncan, you don't go for the new model after a short period of time!"

Valerie - "Okay, I lied to Eva, there's not really a large bet going on about who Cody is going to pick. Honestly, I don't care, mostly because it doesn't affect me, and since we're on the most boring RV trip ever, Eva's performance is not going to be handicapped by her sudden desire to get romantic with a boy. It's silly, really…"

*She glances to the side, then grins mischievously.* "Now if she had to choose between three handsome men and herself in a room with them every night, that might be interesting. But she ain't got that, I do! Haha, suck it, muscle head!"

"Hey, call me crazy," Duncan said as they pulled up to the next gas station, "but I'm pretty sure that's an RV from one of the other teams at the pumps."

"What?" Courtney balked. "No, no way, we've been ahead most of this race, and we never saw any of them pass us! It has to be another RV!"

That was when Izzy came barreling out of the RV at the pumps, shooting suction cup darts at a fleeing Colin, while Harpo the Unicorn sounded the calvary charge with a honking of her horn.

"Never mind," Courtney grumbled, crossing her arms. "It's one of ours."

"When did they get a pony?!" Duncan balked.

As Team 5 came to a stop at the pumps, most of the team walked into the gas station to see if there was anything they wanted. Most of Team 6 was there too, and when Cody noticed Eva, he waved at her sheepishly.

"Now now, don't go over there and talk to him," Bridgette said to Eva. "You're supposed to let him decide without any interference."

"I'm really not good at standing on the sidelines," Eva admitted, appearing vulnerable for a rare moment to her friend. Bridgette slung her arm around her friend, and led her to the selection of protein bars the gas station had to offer.

Noah was also busy, trying to see what he could get for entertainment in the DVD section. Crystal was already there, humming as she glanced through the romance selection. "Seen it," she said to herself, "seen it, seen it, seen it…"

"There one you haven't seen perchance, chappette?" Noah asked her, with a roll of her eyes.

"I don't bally know, to be honest," Crystal admitted with a smile. "I know, I shouldn't be looking through her for myself, but I was just curious if I had seen all of the romantic section. I think I jolly well have."

The cynic sighed as he picked up a cheap-looking and stupid sci-fi movie. "Tell me, Crystal, have you ever been anything other than a shipping and romantic-obsessed cheerleader for love?"

The British matchmaker tapped her lips. "Hmm… I think I wanted to be an Olympian equestrian rider when I was a wee girl. Oh, and when I started taking karate, I thought about going professional, but that was too much work. So no, other than one other thing, I think I always wanted to be a matchmaker or marriage consoler."

"And what was that other thing, dare I ask?"

She grinned, fluffed up her cravat, and said, "To be the next Doctor."

Crystal walked by him, humming the theme song to Doctor Who as she headed for the register.

(RV Confessional Cam - Like a TARDIS! Kind of… a little!)

Noah - "Okay, major props to her, that's kind of an awesome wish. And hey, maybe if the Doctor turned into a woman at some point, people would actually listen to him! Um, her."

Crystal - *spinning around an unusual device that has a glowing light at one end and makes a humming noise* "Bally good, this screwdriver. Oh, in case you're wondering, I got this at the gas station. Surprisingly few people ask gas station attendants if they sell screwdrivers, so you'd be surprised how many do!"

Chico the Raccoon - *gnawing on the screwdriver* "om nom nom nom nom~! alawnsee! geerawnimoe! ahaha, i can haz skroodryvur!"

Meanwhile, in the same gas station, Colin was getting quite aggravated. "You're telling me you're not going to sell me beer unless I show you my license?"

"It's illegal to sell alcohol to minors, sir," the attendant said as calmly as possible.

"Don't give me that bull! I just left my license in the car! Sell me some beer, I am on the most boring car trip of eternity!"

"Sir, if your license is in your car, can't you just go get it from your car?"

"Um, I would, but there's a very aggressive raccoon and a unicorn that is quite dangerous with a horn in the car, I'd rather not go back unless I have to."

The attendant raised an eyebrow at this. "Are you sure you haven't been drinking already, sir? Maybe you've had enough."

"Screw you and your judgmental standards of having to have ID to buy beer! I guess I shouldn't even bother about the whiskey!"

The bully took the bottle and chucked it at the wall, shattering it in a rather loud manner that startled everyone. The attendant raised an eyebrow again, and remarked, "Is there someone 21 years old in your group who can pay for that?"

"Oh, so NOW it's okay for me to buy booze? You're a scam artist, I'm not paying for that! I shouldn't have to pay for something I broke!"

(RV Confessional Cam - That's a normal mentality for shoppers.)

Colin - *fuming* "Stupid gas station four-bucks an hour thinks his precious job is worth more than my getting a drink on this stupid car drive! I have been stuck on this RV for who knows how long, with a stupid pony and a raccoon, an emo, a couple hot girls who don't want me touching them, a wimp, and-"

*There's a knock on the door.* Cody - "Hey, is someone in there?"

Colin - "Get the hell away from this confessional, you wannabe ladies' man!"

*The sound of someone departing from outside can be heard.* Cody - "Sheesh, fine."

Colin - "Oh, and THAT guy. Seriously, the girls have been talking to him all this time, about which girl he wants to date. CODY has a choice between two women? That skinny dumbass twit? I mean, not that Eva's a woman, I'm pretty sure of that, but the bimbo with the giant boobs is interested in him?!

"This world is just so freaking unfair. Well, I'm sick of it! I'm sick of girls giving Cody more attention than me! I'm sick of being on an RV ride that feels like a traveling zoo! I'm sick of not being able to hurt someone, like when I hide outside the grade school and make the little kids give me their lunch money!

"I am Colin, damn it all! I'm going to do something about this! Right now!"

SMACK!

The resounding reverberation of palm to face echoed around the gas station. Courtney, her hand on her butt where Colin had grabbed her, was pointing at the bully who nursed his sore face.

"You'd better leave this gas station right now, you perverted jerk," the CIT declared, "or I'm going back to my RV, get my boyfriend, and he is going to kick your ass again! With no gloves on this time!"

She stormed off, as Colin rubbed his face angrily where she had struck him. "Oh, sure, Duncan gets to behave like a cad, but when I do it, it's sexual assault. I don't have time to waste on pretending to like a girl for a couple weeks before I get to grab that booty! They make it look so easy in music videos…"

He stormed to the back of the gas station, determined to put some ice on his reddened cheek. When he was there, he saw Cody already studying the ice packs in the freezer.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Colin barked.

The tech-geek turned towards the bully, and sighed. "I'm trying to see which bag of ice is best for the cooler."

"We don't need that, they won't let me buy beer!"

"There are other things you can put in ice besides beer. Like, oh, that imprint of a hand you got there. Did you try and grab Crystal again?"

"No! It was Courtney."

"You seriously thought you could do that to her? Man, and people thought I was bad."

"Why don't you just shut up and contemplate your choice between the broad with big tits and the she-man who could kick your ass with her manly legs?"

Cody rolled his eyes, sighing angrily. "You know, Colin, you're a loser. That's all you'll ever be with that attitude you've got. I don't even know why I acknowledge you. They said you were a bully when this contest started, but guess what?

"Your words don't hurt me," he said, turning around to glare Colin down, "because they come from someone who is nothing but a loser. Now go away."

Loser bully watched Cody turn away from him, and he felt his blood boil hot. His eyes darted around, desperate to find something to break. That's when he noticed the open janitor's closet, and the metal push broom inside.

Grabbing the lengthy tool, he pulled the head of the broom off, and approached Cody from behind. "Words cannot hurt you," he growled as he lifted the metal pole, "but THIS WILL!"

(RV Confessional Cam)

Colin - "Guy called me a loser. I had every right to react the way I did."

Colin stepped out of the confessional room of the RV, noticing almost everyone was already in the vehicle. DJ carried Harpo and Chico back in, saying, "I got our wonderful critters back! That everyone?"

"I think so," Crystal called form the driver's seat. "Wait, anyone see Cody?"

"He's in there," Colin said, jerking his thumb at the confessional room. "Talking about which girl he wants to pick, you know, that stupid crap."

"Jealous?" Izzy said with a sly grin on her face, before blowing a raspberry at the bully.

Colin chuckled, grinning right back at her. "Not. Anymore."

(Team 1 - Dawn, Mandy, Tyler, Alfred, Sakaki, Sebastian.)

Dawn shivered in the passenger seat, noticeable enough for the driver, Sebastian, to notice. "Something's wrong," the moon child whispered. "Something is very wrong. My aura is feeling so strange right now, something has happened."

"What are you on?" Mandy declared angrily from behind her. "Something always is happening! This world is full of somethings happenings! Oh! Except for on this RV, where nothing! Ever! HAPPENS!"

"Could you try to be a little more loud, Mandy?" Tyler remarked, rubbing his ears. "I'm pretty sure they didn't hear you down in the USA."

"There are provinces in the USA that are smaller than the distance we have traveled. And all this time, I hear about Blond Hottie McTeaLeaves going on about her aura, and her tea leaves, and how her stupidly attractive eyes make me want to reconsider my-"

"We get it," Tyler declared. "And the USA has states, not provinces! Seriously, I know that, I am pretty sure I got an H in geography!"

"Grades only go down to F," the cultist remarked.

The sporty jock crossed his arms as he grumbled quietly, "That's kind of how bad I did."

"Look everyone," Sebastian spoke up, "let's all calm down. There's a gas station up ahead. We can get out, stretch our legs, get something to eat, refuel, all that jazz. We don't need to get upset over the fact that we are, indeed, in the most boring RV ride ever."

"Aye aye," Alfred declared, casting a salute to his friend.

(RV Confessional Cam - Captain!)

Alfred - "Sebastian's got dreadlocks. Kind of makes everything he says sound cool. Always follow the guy with the coolest hair, or hat, that's my motto. Or maybe not, I think I made that up just now. It just sounded cool in my head, haha!"

Dawn - *holding her fingers up to her temples* "Why does something feel so wrong? What are you trying to tell me, great cosmos of spirits above?"

Mandy - *grumbling* "… And that stupidly cute green sweater she's wearing, I'd like to cut it up into pieces just so it doesn't look so cute anymore. With scissors! Her cute clothes will be ruined, and then I will have all her aura powers when I scissor that!

*yelling now* "You hear me, Dawn?! I will scissor you when I get the chance!"

Alfred - *nursing a very painful looking nosebleed of arousal* "I really wish Mandy would mentally check what she's going to say before she openly declares it."

The team started to leave the RV, when Sebastian noticed Sakaki sitting alone, curled up in one of the corners. "You okay there, Sakaki?"

"I'm fine," she murmured sadly. "You don't have to worry about me, Sebastian."

"You know I do."

He sat down next to her, and she glanced away. "But… you've been talking to Dawn almost all the time this whole RV ride. I'm… I just… n-never mind."

"Sakaki, is that what is bothering you?"

"It's stupid, I know," she admitted. "I mean, it's not like we're d-dating or anything! I shouldn't feel so upset that you're talking to another girl! But… but… you have so much in common with her. You're both philosophical, you read auras, you have such a cool and calm way about you…

"I just… I mean… you like her, don't you?"

Sebastian looked into Sakaki's eyes, those sad pupils that were trying to hide her timid jealousy. He managed to smile, and said, "Yes, I like her."

"Oh," she replied, sounding utterly defeated.

"But not in the same way I like you."

She glanced over at him now, confused but still miserable. "It took me how many days to say this? What's there to like about me?"

"That's something only you can discover, if you don't know the answer yet. But let us not let you sulk in here, let's go with the others and see what we can get you here."

Sebastian and Sakaki walked into the gas station, the latter still feeling confused. She barely noticed Alfred, who angrily declared, "They are out of laser swords and screwdrivers here! Man, the one time I remember to ask at a gas station, too!"

"Maybe we could get a football?" Tyler suggested. "I mean, we could pass it around in the RV, you know?"

"Oh don't be crazy, Tyler, they don't sell stuff like that at gas stations."

Mandy unwrapped a chocolate bar and started wolfing it down, as the cashier called out to her, "You going to pay for that, miss?"

"Yes," she snapped angrily, flecks of chocolate spitting from her mouth. "Or maybe Miss Perfect Sweater McAuraguidance will pay for it, she seems to have all the answers!"

"You keep giving her Scottish last names," Tyler remarked. "I don't know why you're doing that, it's kind of weird."

"I'm not the weird one, Sweet Eyes McLiltyvoice is the weird one! Look at her now!"

She pointed at Dawn, who was wandering through the station, rubbing her forehead with one hand. "It's here… something is very wrong here!"

"Yeah, they're too strict about having to pay for things, that's what!" Mandy remarked. "I mean, I only had one bite of this bar, for Azathoth's sake!"

Dawn continued to wander through the store, until she headed for the back. Noticing the detached broom head, and a bent out-of-shape, metal broom handle, she was rather confused. When she glanced around the room, she spotted something unusually shaped inside one of the freezers.

And when she realized it was a person, she screamed in horror and realization, especially when she recognized who it was.

"Cody," she cried out, rushing over to the freezer and flinging the door open. The tech-geek was shivering rather aggressively, and when she moved to touch him, she saw how many bruises he had.

Very gently, she tried to pull him out. Sakaki and Sebastian showed up, hearing Dawn's scream, and immediately dashed over to help. Sakaki was the one to pull Cody out of the freezer, and lay him out on the floor.

"He's really cold," the moe girl declared, holding herself to him to gently warm him up. "And I think his arm is broken!"

"Is that blood on his forehead?" Dawn whimpered. "Oh goodness Goddess, it is!" Her memory kicked in, and she glanced at the bent out-of-shape broom handle. "Someone hit him with that!"

Alfred had hurried over from all the screaming, and was very quickly pulling out his cell phone. "What's the Canadian emergency phone number?" he asked frantically. "I haven't been in the country that long!"

"What's going on?" the gas station attendant asked, peering around the corner to observe all the calamity. "Oh great, did one of you guys climb into the freezer as a joke? Third time this week!"

"This is an emergency, mister," Alfred declared, grabbing the attendant by his employee shirt and shaking him, "and I don't know what number to call! So get someone here, we have a serious case of assault here!"

"Assault? Oh good grief, and I ran out of laser swords too," the attendant complained. "And that was my favorite broom!"

"Will you call the emergency number already?!"

The gonzo's command made the attendant dash over to the register and use the phone. One minute passed, with all of Team 1 trying to help Cody, and the front door was aggressively kicked down.

"POLICE," the stout cadet shouted, pointing her fingers into the gas station. "FREEZE!"

"Why are you pointing your fingers?" Mandy asked in confusion.

"I'm just a cadet, I'm not carrying a gun yet," the officer explained, "but I could possibly break every bone in the human body with these two fingers! Dare me to see if it's not possible!"

"MacArthur," her partner grumbled.

"Hey, only I'm allowed to give silly Scottish names around here," the cultist chick declared.

"Save it, platinum top," the stout cadet shouted. "We came off our traffic duty to answer the call, what's this about an assault?"

Tyler carried Cody in from the back, supporting his head. The tech-geek, despite a black eye and a bruised face, managed a smile for the two lady cadets. "That would be me," he said.

"Sweet salmon eggs," MacArthur declared. "You look like crap, kid!"

"Real tactful," her partner remarked. "Look, everyone needs to calm down. MacArthur can get you to a medical station with a police escort, while I investigate the scene."

"We're at a bit of a handicap," Sebastian spoke up. "Right now, we're kind of driving an RV."

"More salmon eggs on a fancy plate," MacArthur cursed. "You mean you have the worst type of vehicle for this kind of emergency? That calls for one thing!"

She narrowed her eyes, and cracked her knuckles. "I'm driving."

"Oh boy," her partner remarked.

"Save it, Sanders, I got me a young man to get to the medical station! And I am pretty sure the closest one is at that stupid stadium they built a few weeks back, that okay?"

"Just hurry," Sakaki pleaded. "We don't know how serious this is!"

"THEN OFF WE GO!"

(RV Confessional Cam - Cadets are go!)

MacArthur - "Why on Earth does an RV have a confessional room? I mean, why would anyone need it… wait… confessionals in a police car! Perfect! We can make perps confess before they are even at the-"

*pounding on the door, followed by from outside…* Tyler - "You said you were going to drive this thing!"

MacArthur - "Oops, sorry, got side-tracked! Commandeering the vehicle now!"

(Maclean Stadium, one hour later!)

"And that was Sexy Eyebrows," Chris Maclean declared, walking onto the stage in front of said band to get himself more limelight. "Let's give them all a big hand!"

There was thunderous applause, and a high-pitched voice from somewhere in the audience, "I don't have hands, someone tell me what to do!"

The host chuckled, and brushed off his shirt. "Well folks, this has been an amazing concert, a really fun experience, and I know that I enjoyed myself! So, money well spent!"

The crowd chuckled in amusement, except for the high-pitched voice declaring, "Self-aggrandization isn't funny! You need to be taught love and tolerance, you spoony bard!"

"And I believe that up next," Chris started to say, before his earpiece clicked to life. "What? Hang on… wait, the teams are coming? Oh, one of them is coming! Dang I was hoping I could milk this speech a little more…

"Anyway! Ladies and gentlemen," the host said, flashing his best grin for the audience, "we have the first place winners for the RV Race! And it is…"

From one of the entrance tunnels to the stadium came barreling an RV, screeching to a halt when coming dangerously close to hitting the stage. The door flung open, and the stout cadet jumped out first.

"Hustle him to the medical station," she declared, as Tyler came out carrying Cody. "Hustle! You'll have to do it, I have no idea where the hell it is!"

"What's going on?" Chris Maclean demanded to know, staring at the stranger before him as the rest of Team 1 jumped out of the RV, following Sebastian and Cody.

"Who is in charge here?" MacArthur declared. "Where's the medical personal? And why didn't someone tell me Sexy Eyebrows was playing here today? I love that band!"

(Confessional Closet - Back in the stadium after a week!)

Sebastian - "We've been keeping close to the medical area of the stadium, which is rather close to this closet. Just came to say, it's a darn good thing Sakaki was with us. She has some medical training, and thus she knew what to do with Cody when we found him like that."

*He smiles and taps his glasses knowingly.* "And I hope she realizes that that is just one reason why someone could like her. It's because of her that Cody's injuries weren't amplified."

"Impersonating a doctor is a federal offense," MacArthur shouted as she aggressively shook Chef Hatchet. "You're a cook, not a doctor! You're wearing a chef's hat, not a stethoscope!"

"Will someone please call security on this police officer?" Chris Maclean shouted impatiently. His earpiece buzzed again, and he pressed it. "Uh-huh… we don't have security? But what about my safety? Jeez, spread the budget just a little, is all I'm saying, I need protection from rabid fans…

"Oh, more teams are coming? And… uh-huh… uh-huh… okay, gotcha. Seems perfectly fair and reasonable to me!"

Another RV came racing in, and the moment it stopped, Courtney ran out of the RV. "I cannot be seen with this speeding maniac as the driver! Get the cameras away from me, I need to protect my image!"

Duncan rolled his eyes as he stepped out of the RV too. "Yeah, you're welcome, Princess. Second place, and she's still throwing a hissy-fit. Seriously, maybe I should date Princess 2.0 instead!"

He was startled when someone pinched his butt from behind, and then turned to see Princess 2.0 wink at him. "Ask me again when you're not seeing her, stud," Valerie said with a wink, and walked off.

"Jeez, someone give her an aphrodisiac on the last day?" Noah remarked. "What got her so frisky?"

"Bet it has something to do with a high-speed chase and a strong finish for second place," Eva said, chuckling. "Can't blame her, what girl wouldn't be turned on by something awesome like that?"

Bridgette almost fell out of the RV, Noah and Eva catching her. "Mommy," the surfer girl whined, "I don't want to be in the high-speed chase of recreational vehicles ever again. Don't put me on another one, please!"

"Welcome, second place winners!" Chris declared. "If you could all just head to the cafeteria, and totally ignore that first place winners aren't there, that would be highly appreciated!"

(Confessional Closet - Nothing suspicious about that at all!)

Bridgette - "So, why aren't we allowed to talk to the winners of first place? Is everyone alright? I don't even know what team that is! Chris, you cannot do this, I'm so worried right now!"

Courtney - "Something is awry here… and no, I'm not talking about Duncan. I think Bridgette is right, and now… I am getting a little worried myself. I don't like it when Chris says we need to do things without explanation."

Eva - *angry stare* "Okay, I don't like being vaguely told what to do, but I have to say…" *She grins.* "That lady cop giving the third degree to Chef? I like her style."

"Okay, third place team," Chris called out from the stage to Team 2 as they pulled up into the stadium. "That's cool and all, but you all need to head directly to the cafeteria! Right now, go go, scoot scoot!"

"Is he planning another band or something?" Gwen grumbled. "Oh, whatever, I couldn't care less, and frankly, I don't want to hear any explanation about why Chris does what he does."

"You're awfully upset," Sierra remarked. "I mean, I should be as mad as you, I went a whole week without being able to update my Total Drama blog! My viewers are gonna kill me!"

Team 6 was the next group to show up, right after Team 2 had walked from view. The timing couldn't have been more perfect for Maclean, as he walked up to the group.

"Alright, all of you, to the side, over there, by the stage," he said, grinning his usual grin. "All of you, yes, even the pony and the oversized rat."

"i iz no rat, lol!"

"HONK!"

"Splendid, splendid," Chris remarked. As the team moved to where the host had directed them, DJ was the first to realize something was wrong.

"Wait a minute," the gentle giant spoke up, "where's Cody?"

"Beats me," Colin said, then cackled over his own remark. The others stared at him with contempt, then Izzy stepped up.

"Yo, Chris Maclean, the Code-miester is still in the confessional in our RV," she called out. "Can I go get him?"

"Okay, one, I don't trust you to do simple errands no matter what they are, Izzy," Chris said. "And two, he's not in your RV, he's in the hospital wing of the stadium here."

"WHAT?" most of Team 6 shouted in unison.

"wut wut wut? lil halp, kthx," Chico cried out, waving his paws around like crazy.

"Honk honk hornk lehonk?!" Harpo asked with her instrument, her eyes wide with concern.

Chris Maclean proceeded to ignore them, and when Team 3 arrived, he gave them the same directions as most of the other teams. The team was rather confused, especially since Team 6 was standing by the stage, most looking quite concerned.

"Is this because they brought back more animals?" Beth asked. "Do we need to get vaccinated?"

"Good question, Beth," Chris congratulated, "You get a cookie!"

He tossed her a white chocolate chip cookie, which she happily started to scarf down. She almost didn't hear the high-pitched voice in the audience, amid the cheers, shouting, "I want a cookie too! I want a cookie!"

"And no, you don't need to be vaccinated! Now go on, shoo to the cafeteria!"

(Confessional Closet - We want a cookie too!)

Gwen - *blows her bangs away with a huff* "Chris should actually stick to being vague like this. It cuts back on the times when he's being snide, sadistic, and a total ass. Namely, all times except this one."

Anita - "What's going on? Wait, Team 6 was the one Cody was on. I didn't see him there, though that was that cute unicorn." *She stares at the camera for a few seconds, then lets out a small laugh.* "For one brief moment, I thought Cody turned into a little unicorn. Now that's just silly!"

"Team 4, you finally arrived," Chris said, as the members of said team stepped out of the RV. "Now, you're the very last team to arrive, but you and Team 6 are the last place losers of this game."

"What?" Clive spoke up for Team 6. "Why?"

"Because the goal of this match was for the team to drive back to the stadium. You didn't have all of your teammates with you, and thus you have been penalized. Teams 4 and 6 will vote for someone to be removed from Total Drama Battlegrounds at the top of the hour.

"Now, kindly all of you head to the cafeteria, where the answers will be provided to you shortly! Except the animals, they can… do whatever they want, I don't care."

Harpo let out a large HONK in protest, but Chico took his new friend off to meet their commander in charge. As Chris watched the teams leave, he pressed on the earpiece he had, and spoke quietly.

"Are we sure we want to do it like this? I mean, yeah, it is more fun and dramatic this way, but… okay, you're right."

(Confessional Cam - And when the invisible voice is right, it's right!)

Chris Maclean - "Hey, it's not like we're doing wrong by anyone. Teams 4 and 6 can all have a pretty good idea of who to vote for!"

Sadie - "Why is absolutely nothing making sense to me?"

Clive - "This show is becoming so confusing, convoluted, and nothing is being explained to us. I guess it really is a reality show, because it's quickly becoming just like real life."

Alejandro - "Screw this, I was hired to be a guest star for the stupid team, I'm leaving! No one is going to make Alejandro Burromuerto stay here if he doesn't want to-"

*He opens the door, and someone in a blue uniform tackles him.*

MacArthur - "Suspicious person hiding in adjacent room to cafeteria! Handling him, applying chokehold!"

Alejandro - "HURK!"

(Maclean Stadium Cafeteria)

"Does anyone know what's going on?" Sierra asked aloud. "I mean, where are all the members of Team 1? Where's my Cody? Where's that cute unicorn gone off to? Was Sexy Eyebrows really playing here tonight? And where's my Cody-kins?!"

The angry shouting of the fangirl was lost to a crowd of confused and tired teenagers. None of them knew what was going on, and after a week trapped in an RV, most of them were so apathetic that they were more interested in waiting for an answer to be given rather than hunt it out.

When Teams 4 and 6 arrived, the news that Cody, and also all of Team 1, where in the medical wing, most everyone snapped to attention. The failure to properly communicate led most to believe that everyone in Team 1 and Cody was in the medical wing because all had been injured, and there was far noise to get a correction out.

Amid all the chaos, Anita and Eva found each other. "Listen," the bodybuilder said, "you don't like me, I don't like you, but both of us don't want to stay in here and wait for an answer."

"You really think he's going to make a choice between us if he's seriously hurt?" Anita snapped at her.

"What? No! This isn't about that! I want to know who hurt him, and Team 1 as well! I want to know, so I can go hunt them down, and perform a skeleton removal technique on the person who did it."

To Eva's surprise, Anita smirked at this. "Mortal Kombat style punished to who hurt him? I'm up for that."

"We could get in serious trouble for sneaking out when Chris told us to stay in here."

"I know you don't care, the question is, why did you stop to inform me?"

"Because… it's only right, you know?"

The two gals, with a rather tedious but meaningful truce, snuck out the cafeteria when no one was looking. And since MacArthur was busy throttling Alejandro in the confessional, no one saw them leave. Well, no one except Colin.

"Oh crap," he said to himself. "If those two bimbos talk to Cody, they'll come back here, and tell everyone… shoot! Damage control, damage control!"

He hurried over to someone amid the talkative crowd of teenagers, someone who had been helping him quite a bit throughout the show. "I need your help," he stated bluntly.

The mysterious villain glanced up at the bully. "What did you do?"

"I may have… beaten Cody with a metal pole and shoved him into a freezer at a gas station."

"You did what?!"

"Well, he called me a loser, it was totally justifiable!"

With a frustrated face-palm, the mystery villain glared at Colin. "You do realize that saving you is going to be very hard to do, right?"

"Hey, you've done it before, do it again! I mean, you already got one vote, me!"

"Alright. Go away now, and don't mingle with anyone. Play innocent, as much as you possibly can."

"But who are we going to vote for?"

"Shouldn't it be obvious?"

(Maclean Medical Ward)

"Where's Chef?" Cody asked the nurse helping make the final adjustments to the sling. "I mean, not that I think you're doing a bad job, because you're doing great, but he usually handles this kind of thing."

The nurse shrugged, and finished putting Cody's arm in a sling. It was also wrapped in a cast, and it appeared rather sad without any signatures. This was why Alfred was over in a heartbeat with a marker, grinning like a kid about to enter a candy store.

"Just leave room for all the ladies wanting to wish me the best," Cody joked.

"I would love to~," Dawn spoke up, smiling for the first time since she had found him.

Alfred nodded, and signed the cast. He was doing his best to keep up a smile, it was hard for him to see a friend like this. Cody had bandages on his forehead, his other arm, shoulder, stomach, and legs, not to mention the black eye and the cast that the gonzo was signing.

"But why have we been asked to stay in here?" Tyler declared as he paced back and forth. "We know who did this! We have to tell the others!"

"The nurse said we cannot leave," Sakaki said timidly. "Maybe they're disqualifying Colin right now, and they're keeping us from… I don't know… exacting revenge?"

"Oh, and who's going to do that? You?" Mandy asked. "Leave it up to me! I'm going to remove Colin's brains, if he has any, out through his nostrils!"

"I'm going to stomp on him until there's nothing left but bits of him," Tyler declared. "And then… I'll stomp on the bits!"

"I'll," Sakaki started to say, swallowing her fear, "I'll… I'll call him a stupid head!"

"Whoa there, Rambo," Sebastian said, wrapping an arm around Sakaki's shoulders. "No need for you to get too aggressive, it's not in your nature."

"But that's all I can do, if he's been de-brained and stomped to bits."

"Hey, don't think you need to do any more," he assured her, rubbing her arm. "You did more than enough for Cody today."

It was then that Eva and Anita burst into the medical wing. "Where is he?" the bodybuilder declared.

"Are the rest of you alright too?" Anita asked. "We only got half of the story."

"I'm here, girls," Cody said with a smile, waving his good arm.

They ran over to him, both highly concerned, but too afraid to touch him with how copious his injuries appeared to be. The tech-geek managed to grin despite it all, and he said, "Hey, you think I look bad, you should see the other guy!"

"Someone did this to you?" Eva shouted. "Who did this to you?!"

(Maclean Stadium Cafeteria)

"No no no, you have to be kidding me," Heather hissed, hiding behind a pillar in the cafeteria so no one could see her and the person she was talking to. "You cannot possibly ask me to save Colin, not after this!"

"You're going to have to, or at least try," the mysterious villain said sternly. "We've done this before, we need his vote."

"You know, part of me thinks you have a thing for this guy, since he's undoubtably the most heinous person I've ever seen on this show!"

"Yes, yes, hilarious. But mark my words: if you don't do what I say, you'll be going down just as hard as he would be."

"You really think your threats mean something?"

"They mean just as much as before, and are stronger now. You've seen Gwen, she's been livid since Trent was voted off, and she's growing more angry by the day. With Leshawna and Bridgette also becoming more upset, they want someone to blame. They want to attack someone."

"And they can attack Colin."

"No, they want to attack you, and you know it. None of them are convinced that you reformed, and the moment they suspect that you are up to no good, they'll get even with you. Far harder than they did with Courtney, and you know who is next after they are done with you?"

Heather ground her teeth, crossing her arms angrily as the answer came to her. "So you're basically saying if I save Colin, no harm can come to Ezekiel?"

"I've been right so far, haven't I?"

The former queen bee rubbed her forehead, and sighed in exasperation. "There was a time," she said, mostly to herself, "when I assured myself an elimination was an elimination, and nothing more. Now… I'm not okay with this."

"Truth be told, neither am I, entirely. But if we do this right, no one will be the wiser, you'll be able to maintain your innocence, and your boyfriend won't suffer because you had to make the hard decisions."

Heather groaned, feeling as if she was in pain physically when she asked the question that made her feel like a piece of her soul was being ripped out.

"Who am I supposed to persuade the others to vote for then?"

(Maclean Stadium Medical Wing)

"I WILL RIP HIM APART LIMB BY LIMB!"

"Eva, please calm down," Cody pleaded.

"No, I will not stand for this! You all said I needed to get a grip on my anger, well I have a grip! And that is on Colin, when I grip onto his head and crush it between my hands!"

"Yelling about serious bodily harm isn't going to help anyone," the tech-geek continued to say.

"No, Cody, this is exactly the kind of thing that will help," the bodybuilder declared with a stomp of her foot, leaving cracks in the tile. "I am going to rip off his reproductive parts, and-"

Sebastian covered Sakaki's ears to help prevent her from hearing the rest of that. Mandy raised an eyebrow, while Anita grimaced as she watched her rival rage.

"And then," Eva snarled, "I am going reach up his nostril, and pull his brains out through it!"

"Hey, no fair," Mandy declared. "I called dibs on the de-braining!"

"Then I'll ram them back up the other nostril, so you can do it too! I am going… I will…"

She stopped when her anger came full cycle hard on her. Eva stood there, shaking, and tears actually came from her eyes. This was mostly due to the fact that Cody had his good arm around her, holding her tightly in an attempt to calm her down with a hug as best he could.

"Cody?" Eva asked, her voice strained and barely heard. Anita watched, her hands over her mouth.

Sebastian realized the sensitive need of this situation, and motioned to the others. "Listen, we cannot go to the others, but we can wait outside. Give them some privacy."

The others all agreed, and they left the room together. Dawn was the last, and she glanced back to the scene as she felt the emotions in the air, affecting her.

"It'll all be okay in the end~," she whispered, closing the door behind her.

Eva managed to turn around, and sighed heavily as she stared at Cody. "I cannot cope with this, I cannot just stand by and let someone hurt someone I care about."

"Eva," the tech-geek tried to speak.

"No no, listen, Cody, I knew I had no chance from the start, but I still liked you. And you know why? Because you never gave up. Even when things were horribly unfair, even when it looked like everything in the world was against you, you kept going."

The bodybuilder crossed her arms, and stared to the side. "I did that once. I gave up. I was a little girl, and I was bullied quite a bit because I was fat and ugly. My mother sent me to another school, it got so bad.

"Then I thought, I could just work out, and get strong and then no one would ever make me feel like a worthless little victim ever again! But I took that too much to heart, as some of you may have noticed."

She chuckled dryly, quickly wiping her eyes. "Yeah, that's the story of my life, and whatever. Doesn't really matter to me at the present time, I am who I am now, and not that little victim before. But I will not stand for someone who thinks he can pick up a weapon, attack someone from behind, and consider himself a winner!

"You mark my words, Cody! I don't care if it gets me disqualified or eliminated or possibly sent to the same crazy camp that Izzy goes to, I'm going to see to it that Colin gets what is coming to him!"

She punched her palm, and took a deep breath. When she managed to look at Cody, he was watching her with the most serious expression she had ever seen on his face.

"Well, I would really rather you not get kicked the show," Cody said, reaching out with his good hand and taking one of hers in it, "because I wanted to spend some more time with you."

"What?" Eva asked, totally baffled.

"What," Anita whimpered.

"I thought about this long and hard, while I was stuck in that stupid RV for six days. I made the decision before Colin attacked me, and I wanted to ask you, Eva…

"Would you like to go out with me?"

The bodybuilding young lady stared openly at him, so confused and stupefied that she did something no one could ever recall Eva ever doing. She pointed at herself, in self-doubt, and squeaked out a word in several octaves higher than she had ever done in her life. "Me?!"

"Yes, you, Eva."

"… Are you joking?"

"I really am not."

"Okay, whoa, I know I just spilled my guts and vowed to flatten that jerkass, but you don't need to say that just to make me feel better-"

Cody finally couldn't take any more of Eva's doubt, and pulled her in for a kiss. It was her first, at least one that wasn't part of a challenge on the show, and she felt more dazed than anything. When it was over, she was speechless.

"Oh, wow," she finally managed to say. "You really do mean it."

"I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't."

Eva felt herself smile. It wasn't something she did normally, and she wondered how dorky she looked before him. Since he was smiling too, it felt so much better. She actually was feeling so hyped inside, she didn't know how to contain it.

That was, until she spotted her rival leaning against a nearby table, staring blankly at the floor.

When Eva noticed, Cody turned around too. Anita wasn't moving much, just staring at her boots. She didn't hear anything, until Cody called her name multiple times.

"What? Huh?" she blurted out, then realized both of them were staring at her. "Oh, yeah. Well…"

"Anita," Cody said, totally unsure on what to say. He had never imagined himself in this position. Oh sure, he had always daydreamed of women fighting over him in his fantasies, but the part where he'd have to choose was never part of them; this was seriously painful to do.

"I know there's nothing I can really say, but," he managed to spill out, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean… I mean… I never imagined it would come to something like this, where I'd have to make a choice between two girls who are both amazing in their own ways."

"Huh?" Anita muttered, still stunned. She then shook her head, then managed a small smile. "Look, we practically forced you to choose, and either way, someone was going to be hurt. But hey, you've known Eva for longer, and I'm pretty much just a fan."

"Please don't put yourself down," Cody pleaded.

"No no, it's okay, I'll be," she said with a deep breath, "I'll be fine. This was always a possibility, and you made a clear choice, like you said. I mean, I can get why, after seeing you two just now. You do kind of make a cute couple."

Her smile grew a little more forced, but she managed to speak without her voice quivering so much. "I should give you two some time, but please, don't dwell on me. You two have something to start. I'm… I'm going to go do something about Colin."

"Don't you go killing him before I get a chance," Eva requested.

"Don't worry, I'll save you a piece.

Anita walked out of the room, leaving Cody and Eva to some privacy. When she closed the door, she practically slumped against it with her back. She reached up to feel her eyes, but her fingertips came back dry.

That was because tears could come later. Now, there was a sense of justice too strong inside her to ignore.

"Seriously?"

She barely recognized the voice of her friend, Alfred, who was staring at her with shock and disbelief. The others were all looking at her too, or trying not to in fear of embarrassing her.

"Yes," she said, "but that's not what is important. I'm going to the cafeteria, and I'm going to tell everyone what that bastard Colin did."

"Wait," Tyler called out in concern. "Chris said we had to stay here! You could be disqualified or something worse if you go now!"

"I don't care," she replied coldly.

(Maclean Stadium Cafeteria)

When Anita reached the cafeteria, Chef was standing nearby the doors. "You were supposed to be inside, girl," he said to her, a little rattled since he had been shaken by an overly eager cadet earlier.

"Yeah, well, I want back in," she snapped. "I have to tell everyone something important."

"If you're talking about the big news, they all know."

"What?" Anita balked, unsure as to how that came across.

"Yeah, they know. Plus, the votes have already happened, so you're a little late on that."

"Wait, they all knew before they voted? About what happened to Cody?"

"Sure do. Even he knows."

Chef Hatchet pointed to Alejandro, who lay sprawled on the floor next to the confessional closet. The manipulator appeared even more frazzled than before, and standing nearby him was MacArthur. The cadet was near the closet door, watching all those who were nearby.

"Big guy spilled all the beans," she said, brushing her knuckles off on her uniform. "I don't mean to brag, but you get them in a confessional anything with me, they'll spill their guts right away."

"Why," Alejandro sobbed in the heap he was in on the floor. "Why does my brother have to be better at everything than me? Waaaaaaah!"

"He's been going on about that for a while now," MacArthur said, rolling her eyes. "Sheesh, someone has some serious sibling issues. Be your own man, you wiener!"

While Anita couldn't help but feel that Alejandro did deserve this treatment, she still was sure about everything. "Excuse me, miss?" she asked, approaching the officer.

"It's MacArthur."

"I have a lot of questions, but I needed to ask you first off, why are you here? Did we finally get security?"

"Well, that's a long story-"

The intercom to the stadium whined to life, and Chris Maclean's voice echoed throughout the stadium. "Attention campers! The votes have all been cast, and now that the bands and the crowds and everything except the cameras focused on yours truly have gone, it's time for the trophy ceremony!

"And woohoo, is this one going to be a doozy! So many people have been waiting for this moment!"

Anita felt a sense of relief rush through her over the host's words. "Thank goodness," she said to herself, hand over her chest. It was then that she started to feel the creeping pains of heartbreak, as the realization of everything started to crash down onto her.

"You okay there, sister?" MacArthur asked, quirking an eyebrow. "You kind of look like you took a kidney shot to the kidneys."

Anita managed a small smile for the cadet. "I'll be fine once I hear the votes, and that creep is finally out of the game."

(Closet Confessional - Well that was all totally dramatic.)

Harold - *is furiously drawing on the wall with a dry erase marker* "Okay, I'm mapped out all possible scenarios for what is going to happen, since I have been given relatively small data. I know this is a little extreme, but I got friends on the line here, I need to figure out what is happening!"

Xander - *reading some of the notes written on the wall* "Scenario #143: aliens have impersonated Cody, and will attempt to clone themselves repeatedly from their pods. … What the-"

(Maclean Stadium, Trophy Ceremony Stage)

"Okay, so we don't have a crowd tonight, because after the bands were done, the people all left," Chris Maclean said as he brushed off his shiny suit. "It wasn't our usual crowd, and you know, you all came too early. You all ruined a perfectly good finisher to a highly successful concert!"

"And I never got to see Sexy Eyebrows perform," Alfred wailed, shaking his fists in the air.

The gonzo, as well as the members of Team 1, had been told by Anita what she had been informed. They were all rather quiet, waiting for the results (except for Alfred and his attitude to keep morale up).

The one thing people did notice was that Eva and Cody were holding hands. Everyone was whispering to each other, realizing that the love triangle had indeed come to a conclusion. Most wanted answers and a clear story on what happened.

Most also wondered what the police cadet was doing standing on the side of the stage, along with the sad sack that was Alejandro slumped on the floor near him.

"How long do I gotta stand here?" MacArthur asked, crossing her arms as she frowned at Chris.

"Just until the end of this ceremony, then we'll see if we can hire you for security," the host said with a smile. "We have quite a few openings, your partner can join us too!"

"Can we get to the actual ceremony then?" Izzy cried out. "Don't make me go Izzy on you, Chris Maclean!"

"Ooo, these teens are feisty," MacArthur said with a grin. "This is so much more interesting than traffic watch!"

Chris grinned, and raise his hand for a moment of silence. "You all just go so uptight over the drama that happens in Total Drama! Come on, this is awesome! The ratings, the emotions, the competition, don't you see how all this is amazing?"

Dawn, standing near the stage, narrowed her eyes angrily at the host. Furiously, she threw down the clipboard she was given as an intern, and left.

"So first off, RV trophies for everyone who made it here on time, without punishment, and providing some of the most boring footage I ever had the misfortune of hearing the editors complain about," Chris exclaimed with a laugh. "Seriously, maybe we should have put cameras in the showers."

After this rather upsetting comment, Chris began passing out trophies to the members of Teams 1, 2, 3, and 5. Nearby, Harpo the Unicorn let out a sad honk at her lack of trophy on the first day.

"dew nawt wurrie," Chico assured her, rubbing her back. "i no haz trofee furst tyme i particeepayt, u get urs soon!"

"Thank you all for your efforts in keeping the stadium clear of your presence for the concert," Chris Maclean continued to say. "Seriously, we had some of the best music ever here, it's a shame you missed it!"

"Quit rubbing it in," Zachary exclaimed. "Why do you keep delaying the last trophies by continuously grinding our noses into that?"

"Because it's fun, just like this is going to be," the host gleefully explained. "Now then! The following members of Teams 4 and 6, the losers of the RV Race who aren't loser enough to be sent home… and are NOT a couple stray animals you all found on the side of the road…

"Izzy… DJ… Heather…

"Ezekiel… Sadie… Crystal…

"Zachary… Clive… Arthur…"

The host then glanced between the last two remaining contestants: Colin and Cody. "Okay you two, the answer to who should go is obvious here. But in true tradition, it's time to do the dramatic pause and then reveal!"

Cody glanced over at the bully, narrowing his one good eye. His cast had been signed by multiple people right now, and the painkillers he had been given helped him keep mellow. Colin snarled, then turned back to Chris, impatiently tapping his fingers on his arms.

"This had better work," the bully growled under his breath.

"The last contestant to stay in Total Drama Battlegrounds," the host continued to draw it out, "the one who will live to fight another day… is…

"…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Colin."

The bully cheered, caught the trophy tossed to him, and pointed jeeringly at Cody. "Ha! That's what you get! No one calls me a loser!"

There was an unsettling silence, to which Chris Maclean spoke up. "Now I know there are going to be some complaints about this, but let's not get riled up over it…"

Yeah, fat chance of that.

"IT IS MURDERING TIME," Eva bellowed, rising to her feet. DJ, possibly the only person there strong enough, held her back from committing cold-blooded (or rather hot-blooded, considering how enraged she was) homicide right there and then. Anita was also being held back, by several of her friends.

"Aww, you so mad over your stupid wimp, mister," Colin said with a grin towards Eva. "You two are going to make such a cute gay couple, when you eventually see him again. HAW HAW HAW HAW!"

"It's de-braining time," Eva declared, fighting against DJ as much as she possibly could. "I will end him! Out the one nostril and back up the other, just so I can rip out again!"

"You promised me a chance to do that!" Izzy declared.

"I want a turn too!" Alfred hollered.

Chris winced at the fury being broadcasted before him. It wasn't just Eva, but Anita, Izzy, and Alfred were all screaming mad and had to be held back. "Who knew there were so many social justice warriors in our contestants?" he said with a chuckle. "Hey, cop lady! Go restrain the rioters, would you?"

MacArthur frowned angrily at him. "You're not my boss. And quite frankly, this is bull."

The Bus of Losers drove up to the stage, and sure enough when the doors opened, Duncan was seated behind the wheel. "Who sucked the most during the RV challenge?" he called out with a sly grin. "Because now you're gonna be stuck on a bus with these sad sacks for a while!"

"Chef, go escort Cody to the Bus of Losers," Chris said. "We really don't need a long, drawn-out good-bye ceremony."

"I thought you wanted drama," Chef grumbled.

"C'mon man, I'm finally paying you! Go earn your salary!"

The very large cook who sometimes impersonated a nurse walked over to Cody. When he saw the young man with his arm in a cast, an abundance of bandages, and a black eye, trying to calm his very angry girlfriend down to stop her from attacking the guy who had done all of that to him, Chef didn't feel like his normal, uncaring self.

"Cody," he said, "you got to go, but I'll give you time to say your good-byes."

The tech-geek nodded, smiling appreciatively at Chef. He turned back to Eva, and called out to her, "Eva! Eva! HEY, EVA!"

"-until you need a doctor to pull it out again!" Eva hollered at Colin. When she heard Cody's voice, she turned to him, noticing Chef standing nearby. "No. No no no, they aren't eliminating you! I won't let them! I won't-"

Cody seized her in a hug, as best as he could. When she stopped shouting furiously and managed to calm down within the one-armed hug, he stared into her eyes and caressed her face.

"Listen, I'm not really going anywhere. Heck, if Duncan can keep sneaking onto the show to see his girl, I am pretty sure I can too."

"Damn right," Duncan called from the bus.

"Yeah, I know all of this sucks on so many levels," Cody continued to say, "but you know what? I'm not that upset. I had a ton of fun, I got to ask you out, and I won't be gone from you for too long.

"And I know," he glanced over at Colin, "I'm going to be leaving here the better man."

As the bully snarled over this shot, the tech-geek turned back to Eva and smiled. "So please, don't get so worked up over me. I'm going to be fine, and I'm going to be thinking of you. Just plan for what happens when I sneak back on the show to see you again!"

"You know I'm right here," Chris said, frowning at the tech-geek. "There are rules! Chef is right here, security is right here!"

"I don't work for you," MacArthur shouted.

"So do me a favor," Cody said, grinning at Eva, "and show me a smile before you leave."

Despite it all, her frustration and fury and bitterness, seeing Cody smile at her and be so calm did it for Eva. She fought through her anger, and smiled back at him. He leaned and gave her a kiss, longer than the first one they shared.

"Oh, seriously?" Chris groaned. "You picked her? I lost so much money over this!"

"There actually was a pot?" Valerie asked aloud, rather surprised.

Chris watched the new couple finish their kiss, and grunted in annoyance. "Chef, I specifically told you to remove him from the contest, not give him enough time to say good-byes! Do it, or I make you clean the Janitor's Closet every day!"

Chef winced, and grabbed Cody's shirt collar from behind. "Sorry, kid," he mumbled as he pulled the tech-geek away by the heels of his feet.

"Good-bye, everyone," Cody cheerfully declared. "Let it be known that today, the Code-miester leaves a man! Eva, see you soon!"

After placing the positive tech-geek on the bus, Chef stepped back as the doors closed. The bus drove away, and Eva watched it go until it was no longer in sight. Then, as the last of her calm demeanor bestowed upon her by her new boyfriend left her, she turned towards the culprit.

"You," she growled at Colin, so low her voice sounded demonic. "I am going to end you!"

Yoshi stood up, getting between Colin and Eva; he was pretty much the only brave enough to do such a thing. "Okay, listen, what is going on?" he asked. "None of us are happy that this jerk is staying, but Cody was in an accident. Why are you so hellbent on slaughtering Colin?"

"Cody wasn't in an accident," she shouted at Yoshi. "Colin was the one who did that to him!"

"What?!" was what all the contestants, in perfect synchronization, responded with.

"He attacked Cody from behind! He is the one who put him in the medical wing! He did that to Cody!"

Now most eyes were on Colin, and the bully scoffed. "Hey, he called me a loser. Totally justified."

"This isn't happening," Gwen declared, grasping her head as the amount of frustration piling up inside was giving her a migraine. "Chris, you have to disqualify Colin if he assaulted Cody!"

A look of concern failed to cross Chris's face. "You assume there are rules against this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Everyone gaped at the host of Total Drama. "You mean," Anita managed to speak for everyone, "there aren't?"

"Well, I mean, there are rules against it when you're not competing, or when someone is hooked up to the VR machine because that would just be unfair. But during competition?" he laughed loudly, shaking his head at the naive campers. "Who said you people weren't allowed to assault each other? That makes for great TV!"

"You gotta be freaking kidding me," Anita declared.

"But… but…," Eva sputtered, pointing at Colin. "He… with… I… I am still going to break every bone in his body!"

"Um, no you're not," Chris replied sternly, "unless you want our new security to haul you off in cuffs, Eva."

"I don't work for you!" MacArthur angrily repeated.

"People, you all are getting way too emotional over this," Chris declared, frowning at all the contestants. "This is a competition for five! Million! Dollars! You are allowed to get rough! You are allowed to fight each other!"

"Colin hit him," Tyler spoke up, "with a metal pole! From behind! That's not rough, that's just-"

"If you would allow me to continue," Chris interrupted. "Cody is not going to suffer any long-term damage, so it's all fine. And frankly, the attitude you all are carrying over this is very upsetting.

"'Chris, we don't like it when people get voted off,'" he whined aloud in a mocking tone. "'Chris, we don't like it when people play rough in a competition!' 'Chris, you shouldn't have hid the truth until the voting so as not to get people biased on who to vote off!'"

"You shouldn't have," Eva growled. "How the hell can you justify this?"

"It's not just me, it's the kind, wonderful, fair-minded producer of the show. And oh yes, that reminds me," he said with a sly grin. "She wants to let everyone know that retribution will not be tolerated towards Colin. We must learn to accept that everyone has problems, and maybe we will be able to accept ourselves. Hehe, her words exactly!"

The majority of contestants were stunned silent. Eva was flexing her fingers, as if practicing for throttling someone, as she struggled to contain her rage. Anita just stared blankly forward, unable to comprehend.

"Wait, that nice lady who greeted us at the beginning of the challenge?" Rodney asked aloud. "She's the one who wants to ensure that no one tries to hurt Colin after what he did? She was so nice to Dawn, that cannot be the same person!"

"Any hostile action taken towards Colin when no competition is around will result in immediate disqualification," Chris said with a smug smile. "We need people like him to make this show interesting, or you all be nicey nice to each other. Oh, and you could also get fined, our wonderful producer saw to it that the punishment for unprovoked attacks could result in that."

"It suddenly dawned on me," Eva spoke, voice dangerously calm, "that I don't care about any of that."

She stepped towards Colin, but the last person she expected to stop her did: Anita. "No no no," the bombshell pleaded. "Cody wouldn't want you to do this!"

"You are going to stop me?" Eva balked. "After what he did?!"

"Cody wanted you to smile for him before he left," Anita reminded her. "He wants you to compete in this competition, and wait for him. The last thing he wants is for you to get kicked off too, or possibly worse!

"Eva, you have to control your rage over this. Besides, as Chris said, there's no rules when we're competing."

The bodybuilder took several deep breaths, then managed to calm herself down. "Okay… I'm okay. I'll… get him later, during the competition, when it's fair."

"Yeah good luck, you man-woman," Colin declared with a snide laugh. "I survived this elimination round, I'll survive the next, and the next! I'm coasting to the winner's circle this competition, and you… well, you're just dating a loser now. And a fellow guy. HAW HAW HAW!"

He walked off, laughing over his remarks. Eva had to breathe heavily again, to contain her rage. "Okay, I cannot do anything about that twerp with hedgehog hair and a face that so deserves to be punched in…

"BUT WHO THE HELL VOTED FOR CODY AND NOT HIM?!"

When she wheeled around towards the contestants with her furious question, most of them shrunk into their seats in pure fear. DJ timidly raised his hand, fearing an onslaught of Eva rage.

"We honestly thought Cody had been in an accident," he admitted. "So since this show can get pretty rough and active, we were trying to do him a favor. Kind of like we've done before with other contestants that hurt themselves, you know?"

"Like when Cody was mauled by a bear the first season," Clive spoke up. "Or Noah was shocked in the second. Then again, no one tries to vote me off this show and end my misery…"

"Who told you this?" Eva asked DJ, ignoring the emo.

DJ's eyes betrayed him, and he glanced at a toque-wearing prairie boy nearby. Eva stormed over to Ezekiel, grabbing him by his jacket and lifting him from his seat. "Alright, who told you?"

"I, um," he stammered, still rather intimated by Eva, "I woo'd rather not say, eh."

"You are going to tell me," Eva snarled, "or I am going to start breaking every-"

"Let go of him right now," Heather shouted, pushing Eva away from her boyfriend. "I told him, because I heard from what I thought was a reliable source."

"You," Gwen said, glaring down the former queen bee. "How could we possibly trust you?"

"Listen, I know it's a little crazy," Heather spoke up, allowing everyone to hear her, "but I overheard Alejandro in a confession say that Cody had been injured badly. So I told Ezekiel, and some of the others that we should do this for Cody's sake."

"You trusted him?" Eva declared. "The lying, manipulative snake who was exposed in front of everyone?"

"Yes, because he was rather forthcoming with details that he would never admit after that cop lady interrogated him. He was blubbering embarrassing details about himself that he never would have said normally, with his gigantic ego!"

"Is that Heather?" Alejandro, as if on queue, whimpered from the floor. "Ehehe… I kind of have a thing for her… even though I'm intimidated by smart women…"

Heather shivered, swallowing her disgust. "There, see? I thought he knew for sure, since he was spewing out things like that. He isn't a contestant, so I thought it was insider information."

Everyone was quiet, contemplating this. Heather was relieved to see most of them weren't glaring at her anymore; she did, however, miss Izzy staring at her something fierce.

Eva groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Alright, fine! Fine, you meant well! Let's… let's just go. The day is over, let's just go."

"And it was awesome," Chris said with a triumphant laugh. "My concert was a hit, the elimination was the most dramatic yet, and I am so going to rake in the ratings! Who's the most brilliant host with the tactical mind for drama and challenge ideas? Me, that's who!"

"How can you be so happy about this?" Gwen snapped at him, as most of the other contestants left the stage. "I thought you liked Cody!"

"Well, for one, he's not dead, so it's all good," Chris pointed out. "And two, pain is so much better for the ratings. Cody's going to get super famous over this, it works out perfectly for him."

"Those are not the words I would use to describe this," the goth gal snapped, "at all. Go to hell, Chris."

"Sticks and stones, Gwen," he said with a smug grin. "Just remember who can penalize you next challenge."

As most of the contestants left to head to their rooms, only two remained. DJ had stopped when he noticed Anita sitting by herself, staring at her feet. He walked over, and sat down next to her.

"Hey there," he said gently. "Are you going to be okay?"

She glanced over at him, sighing heavily. "This is not a time to worry about me, DJ. Of all that happened today, I refuse to take pity on myself. I'm far more concerned with people who were hurt."

"You sure?" he asked. "I mean, I know you really wanted to go out with Cody."

"Yes. I did. And I don't think it has fully hit me yet, but I am not going to cry and sulk. I now have a job to do," she said as she clenched her fists. "I am going to ensure that Colin is eliminated from this contest, and if I have to, I'll play by Chris Maclean's rules. He's not going to get away with hurting people like this. Colin, I mean."

She was surprised when DJ wrapped an arm around her. "I am sure most of us are behind you," he assured her. "At the very least, I am."

Anita smiled at him, and pat his large shoulder. "Thank you, my friend."

(Janitor's Closet - For when you need a break today!)

Arthur - "Wow. Talk about a crazy day. Then again, that's kind of what I expected when I was asked to participate in his contest."

Rodney - "I feel so bad for Mister Cody, and Miss Eva, and Miss Anita. I mean, I know part of me is thinking that this means Miss Anita is still single, but since she said I'm a little too young for her, there's no part of me that's happy about this. Still, I hope that when I get to be his age, I hope I'm as mature as Mister Cody."

Belinda - *She heaves out a very sad sigh, and shakes her head.* "And I believe it's only going to get worse from here."

(Room 3 - Colin, Geoff.)

"Hooboy, did you see the look on that skinny, gap-toothed twit's face when he got eliminated?" Colin hooted as he tossed his RV trophy in the small pile of trophies he had collected. "That was priceless, eh roomie?"

Geoff was silently packing his belongings into his suitcase. There wasn't much, but it took long enough for Colin to notice him. "Hey, where you going?"

"To another room," the party animal replied bluntly, glaring at the bully.

"Oh, you finally make nice with your girlfriend?"

"No," Geoff said as he headed for the door, "I just refuse to share a room with you."

The door to Room 3 slammed shut, and Colin blinked in confusion. "Sheesh," he grumbled, "since when was it such a bad thing to beat up a nerd?"

(Dawn's Room)

The intern sighed miserably as she lay back in her bed. "I should quit," she stated aloud. "I cannot be on a show that allows such cruelty."

"You need to stay, young recruit," Groucho the Duck suggested. "In a world of cruelty, we need all kinds of warriors. Some of us carry guns, some of carry tactical knowledge, and some of us carry compassion."

She glanced over at the talking military duck, and managed a small smile. "You are such a blessed creature of the universe~."

"Well that, and our new recruit has taken a liking to you," the duck said, as Harpo the Unicorn spun around three times before falling asleep smack-dab in the middle of the floor. "I don't know how to take care of ponies, I assume you do."

"I will do my best, sir~."

"HONK hornk," Harpo agreed, in her sleep, chewing on a horn.

(Corridor outside of Room 6.)

Heather stood outside of the room, taking deep breaths as she calmed herself down. "That worked out remarkably well," she said to herself. "Okay, technically, you didn't really lie… everything is fine. Everything is okay."

"You liar."

She turned towards the voice, shocked and horrified of the thought that she may have been overheard. From a fair distance away, her roommate Izzy was glaring at her. The redhead's green eyes were burning with fury, as she walked up to Heather.

"I know you lied," Izzy continued to say.

"What are you talking about?" Heather snapped.

"You didn't tell me about Cody having been in an accident. No one told me about that, and I think I know why," Izzy snarled angrily. "You knew I would go and see Cody, because I like him, and I would have found the truth out!"

"I didn't know Colin had beaten him! You think I want that cretinous jerk still in the game? I hate him!"

"No no no," Izzy declared, shaking her head and waving her hands around. "It's all becoming quite clear to me, the previous eliminations, the way you made sure Cody was voted for when Colin was clearly responsible for something awful…

"You haven't changed. I trusted you, I've been supportive of your relationship with my Zekey, and you're still trying to manipulate the votes," she said. "You… I trusted you, and all you care about is winning still."

The redhead clenched her hands into fists, breathing heavily. "This… this is worse than the jellybean smuggler, or when we all thought you were just going to try to use Zekey last season. Because he genuinely cares about you now, and you're going to hurt my Zekey."

"Stop calling him that right now!"

Heather's fierce response towards Izzy made the redhead flinch. The former queen bee stepped forward, almost right in Izzy's face. "I never approved of your friendship with him. You grab him, call him pet names, and get him into dangerous situations over your stupid antics! I only tolerated you because he likes you too, but I am putting my foot down here.

"Ezekiel is my boyfriend, and everything I've ever done here has been for him. You don't know a damn thing about anything, you demented, perverted, psycho hose-beast who should have been checked into a mental hospital years ago!"

The two girls stared each other down, fury in their eyes. Whatever truce had been building between them during this season had been incinerated. The quiet outrage would have been unbearably tense if anyone was watching or listening in.

"Izzy is going to take you down," the redhead hissed. "I am going to expose you, I am going to prove that you meant for Cody to go home to save Colin, and all the other times you manipulated people."

"Oh, who is going to be believe you?" Heather scoffed. "You're the girl that everyone thinks is insane. No wait, they know you are!"

"I'll prove it! It may take time, but I am going to make you pay, especially after I trusted you so much! I thought you and I were even becoming friends!"

Heather, in her argument-riled anger, spat out the most hateful thing she could think of. "I never considered you to be my friend."

"I refuse to sleep in the same room as you!" Izzy declared, storming off in a fury. "Mark my words, Heather! MARK 'EM!"

Heather growled, and stormed into Room 6, slamming the door behind her. This woke up Harold, who had fallen asleep fast after such a roller coaster of a day.

"Football practice," the nerd exclaimed as he sat up. "Oh, hello, Heather. Everything okay?"

She shook her head. "No. Nothing is okay. Nothing is not going to be okay from now on. It's just going to be difficult from now on."

…

…

…

(Voting Confessionals)

Arthur - "So I guess I gotta vote for Cody. Man, the guy gets no luck. Except for, you know, two girls wanting to go out with him. I guess he'll be okay in the long run."

Clive - "Voting for Cody, hopefully the pain will be lessened for him soon."

Cody - *adjusting his arm cast in the sling* "I was lucky to get to vote, Chef helped me get here in time before Chris declared the time to vote was over. So, yeah, I am voting for Colin."

Colin - "Cody's going down. No one, I repeat, no one calls me a loser!"

Crystal - "Okay, I know what Heather told me, and I guess it would make sense… but… but… I just bally well can't vote for anyone for Colin. I was trapped in that RV with him for a week, him trying to grope me! I am voting for him, no digressions!"

DJ - "Sorry, Cody, buddy. You are a really cool guy, but with how tough this show can be, I don't want to see you get hurt. I just hope things go alright for you and Anita, or Eva."

Ezekiel - *sadly* "Soo'ry, Cody."

Heather - *heavy sigh* "Okay, I'm not doing this to save Colin, I'm doing this to help Cody. Heck, I shouldn't feel guilty about this, it's not anything like the first time he got voted off over injuries! And that had nothing to do with me either! I need to stop feeling so darn guilty and just… argh! I vote for Cody."

Izzy - "After Colin gets kicked off the show, because honestly, no one is going to vote for anyone else, I'm going to see which of those two girls Cody decided to go out with! And then I'm going to see if they're okay with me filming their first night!" *She holds up a camera and giggles most mischievously.*

Sadie - "So, like, I was told that Cody got himself seriously injured, and that's a terrible bummer, he's a cool guy. But you know, it's for the best, and I'm sure everyone feels bad about having to do this."

Zachary - *grins and waves* "Bye bye bye, you stick-figure of a white boy!"

Votes:

Arthur - Cody.

Ezekiel - Cody.

Sadie - Cody.

Heather - Cody.

Zachary - Cody.

Colin - Cody.

Izzy - Colin.

DJ - Cody.

Cody - Colin.

Crystal - Colin.

Clive - Cody.

…

Cody - 8.

Colin - 3.

…

Voted Off: Sandra, Duncan, Jasmine, Daisy, Owen, Trent, Hannah, Howard, Joel, Katie, Beth, Justin, Carol, Cody.

(Maclean Stadium, Arena)

Sanders walked into the stadium, having parked outside. The lot had been empty, due to almost everyone having gone home. MacArthur was seated on the stage, cleaning her nails with her teeth.

"*ptoo* Hey, Sanders," the stout cadet murmured. "What took you so long?"

"Had to finish the investigation at the gas station, report back to HQ, and then come here. Apparently, the culprit is getting away scot-free because he was on a reality show."

"I know," MacArthur grumbled. "I saw him laughing about it just now. I am more furious than I've ever felt in my entire life."

"Oh boy."

"Well, let's go, partner. I don't want to spend another minute here."

"Actually, we've been given a special project."

"Oh really?" MacArthur clapped her hands. "That's awesome! What are we going to do next?"

"We've been assigned as security here at Maclean Stadium, for the duration of the show."

"…"

"Apparently, the host has requested it, and since the city has put a lot of money into this show and the stadium, the fact that there's no security here has finally been brought up. So, we're the ones to do it."

"That's not our job, we're cadets! We're going to be police officers!"

"Chris Maclean and whoever produces this show are real penny pinchers, they refuse to hire a security team. And," Sanders nervously glanced to the side, and admitted, "the chief says anything that stops you from going 100 in an RV again would be best for all of Canada."

MacArthur roared in outrage. "I don't want to be on a reality TV show! This is the worst! Worser than worst!"

"Oh calm down, we do a good job, we might graduate sooner than later. Come on, it cannot be that bad here, right?"

At that point, Fuzzy Wuzzums the Bear ran out from the dorm area of the stadium, roaring in irritation as Harpo the Unicorn swung her long-pole horn at him, hitting him on his bear butt. Behind him, in the middle of the chase, were Groucho the Duck, Dawn, and Geoff.

"No no no, dear pony friend," Dawn called out. "Fuzzy Wuzzums is a friend, he sometimes sleeps in my room! He wasn't an intruder!"

"Dude, stop hitting that bear," Geoff cried. "He's like family in the Total Drama family! Bad unicorn! That's not cool, dudette!"

"That bear needs more exercise anyway," Groucho declared. "Come on, soldier, show me what you got if you're going to be part of this stadium's protection squad!"

"HONK! HONK! HORNK! BONK!" Harpo's horn responded to all the comments of those behind her.

Sanders and MacArthur watched the rather unusual chase scene, and the latter managed to smile. "Oh, I think it will be interesting, to say the least."

"Yeah, I guess," Sanders responded, wondering just what they, as the new security, were going to do with a bear roaming around the stadium. "Let's just do this job right, partner, I just don't want our possible graduation to be delayed again over a bad incident."

"Oh, that last time was total bull, and you know it. But I think this time, we might have a good thing going.

"AND NO MORE LONG DELAYS! DO YOU HEAR ME? THERE HAD BETTER NOT BE ANOTHER LONG DELAY, OR YOU WILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO ME!"

Sanders glanced around. "Um, MacArthur, who are you yelling at exactly?"

"Huh? Oh no one in particular, I just like to yell."

Janitor's Closet Decorations - Organized and cleaned entirely in the contestants' absence by Chef Hatchet. … And now there is a very complicated graph of possible outcomes written by Harold with marker on the wall.

We're still confused about #57. What exactly do you do with the soy beans?

…

Next Up - What do you do when your friend… becomes a monster?