silky1111 asked for something more in Mariah's world, and this came to me. I usually don't like giving physical details of kids too much, but since you asked I did an OK job. I really just got the idea for the first line and then the rest came slowly.

100 Encore, Day 87: "Butterfly (Transformation)"

"Daddy eggs!" As soon as she saw me, Mariah let go of my mother's hand and ran toward me, completely forgetting her flower girl duties. Our guests chuckled and my mom threw up her hands and shook her head.

"Did you have eggs for breakfast sweetheart?" I asked when I scooped her up. She nodded against my chest as I began walking back down the aisle. "And get your nails painted pretty purple to match your dress?"

"Hair like mommy."

"No way! Mommy has a pretty braid and flower crown too?" I whispered and put her down. "Thanks for telling me, I don't think I'm supposed to know that. But what'd you practice yesterday with Nana?"

"Hold hands and drop da flowers. But I will wit you."

"With me? OK, let's go!" She pulled me forward, dropping purple petals along the way to like a boss. "You did so good, baby. Time to sit with Nana, because who's coming out now?"

"So pretty mama!"

"So pretty mama, that's right, Rye. Sit with nana. It's the second best spot on the beach." I kissed her cheek and passed her over to my mom.

Then I faced forward to appreciate the best view. It was amazing to me that after everything we'd been through, she still blushed walking toward me. Her smile was genuine but almost shy, she didn't show her teeth. For a second it was almost like we hadn't lost a son. Like our marriage didn't almost crumble under that weight. Like she didn't carry our daughter to try and save us and then cry everyday for the first few months of her life. It was almost like our wedding day.

But today was different. Though her father was here this time, she chose to walk alone again. There was a layer of sadness underneath the joy in her eyes that would never go away. It was in mine, too. You move forward, find reasons to laugh and love. But it rarely feels spontaneous and natural. There is always work involved, a search, although Mariah made it easier to find.

This woman looked sure, not giddy with nerves. She didn't barrel toward me with excitement, but timed her steps to a song in her head, and held a bouquet of baby's breath close to her.

I knew she wouldn't beg the efficient to kiss me before we began rambling our crazy tale as justification or pout when it didn't work. But she picked up our baby, whispering in her ear, making her smile before putting her back on nana's lap. She wasn't the same woman I once married, but she was still April. This wasn't our wedding day or even our vow renewal ceremony. It was just a day we were going to try to celebrate our love, because we deserved it.

"You look beautiful," I said when she took my hand in her simple white silk dress, crown of flowers on her head.

"Thanks, you look handsome." She finally gave me a real smile, and we turned to the pastor.

"Ladies and gentleman, we are here today to celebrate love. Right now, I'm pretty much a guest just like you, as Jackson and April have elected not to renew their vows, since those have not been broken. Instead, they've elected to share their hearts with each other, and with us. Jackson, please begin."

He nodded at me. I took a deep breath and looked at my wife. "April, almost five years ago, when I stood up at an event…" I paused and sucked in my teeth, making a few people in our audience laugh. "…Similar to this one, I didn't think I could love you any more than I did in that moment. Our life together hasn't been easy…But there is no one else I'd want to…" I stopped, trying to think of the best words. "…To share that pain with. You are so strong, to make the decision you made for me and…"

And then I saw the look in her eye. It usually came when we were playing with Mariah or alone together. It was sadness that she was trying to fight. Sometimes she lost, because she needed to and as long as Mariah was asleep I held her while she cried. But today, she needed to win.

"Can we just….have a minute? Sorry."

We went down to the water, out of everyone's earshot. "Hi."

"Hi."

"I shouldn't have brought him up like that. I'm sorry. Today we are celebrating."

"We can celebrate and mention Samuel. It's fine. I mean…" she looked down at her bare neck. "…We're doing the butterfly thing and giving Rye her gift so," she shrugged. "I just needed this minute, thanks."

She kissed my cheek and we started back, but not before our girl escaped her grandmother's arms and came running toward us, a light purple blur.

"I telled nana letgowa me now!" she announced to us, somehow wedging herself in between us.

April gasped. "Why? We're coming."

"Why you leaved mom? Was you cryin'?"

"No sweetheart. I just needed a second with your daddy."

"Now he maked you better?" We grabbed both her arms and started swinging her as we made our way back to everyone. Loose pieces of her light brown hair blew in the breeze.

"Yes. Are you ready to go back to your seat?"

"No. I wanna be the stage wit you."

April shrugged. She was in the next part of the ceremony anyway, so I picked her up and we took our places again. "You made the most difficult compromise anyone could make for our family and…"

"Daddy, she don't make comp-mises. She make dinner and cookies and cards," Mariah interrupted. She could always make us laugh.

"You're right, Rye….I'll always be grateful for that choice," I said to April, looking directly in her eyes. "I stand here today sure that we have made the right choices, and proud to celebrate our strength. I love you and I'm so excited for the rest of our lives. I know I can get through anything with you by my side."

"Jackson, we have an argument sometimes about who made the biggest…cookie…"

Everyone laughed except Rye. "Daddy don't make them, he jus' buys sometimes."

"I know. Just being silly." They shared a laugh. "But I think you did," she said, looking back at me. "Sometimes I wonder if I could've let you go for a year if the tables were turned. I don't know if I could. But you let me go, to save our family. And then when we decided to continue our family, you were right there on my worst days, always so strong. But we're not here to talk about that. I love you and I'm so excited to be here with our girl and the rest of our family and friends to celebrate our love. I love you. Thank you for always standing up for me."

"Mama, you cryin' Stop!" Mariah reached out and wiped April's tears from her cheek.

"Happy tears," she promised.

I leaned in and kissed her, wiping the other cheek and our guests exploded in applause.

"Ew gross!" Mariah squealed.

"Yummy!" I insisted, pretending to bite her cheeks. I proposed to April again at Mariah's first birthday party. She was three now, but it had taken April this long to commit to planning a ceremony. Even a simple one at the beach, with just our closest family and friends.

She only got really excited when she came up with a way to make it more about her children.

"In this family's darkest times, Mariah Grace Avery has been their biggest light. To celebrate her turning three and the transformation she has inspired in their lives, Jackson has some gifts he'd like to present in lieu of exchanging rings."

"Go hold mommy's hand, OK?" I said, when I put her down. "I have presents for you in my pocket."

"Is it a ring pop, dad?"

I grinned. "No, you want a ring pop? Nana will get you one on the way home later." I saw her nod and wink at Mariah in the corner of my eye. "But I…have a special necklace for you…isn't it pretty?" I asked, opening the box.

"Burr-fly!" she giggled, hazel eyes wide when she saw the necklace.

"Butterfly, that's right sweetie. And it's yours. But we're only gonna wear it on special days, OK? Because what's that in the middle there?"

"A sparkly!"

"A sparkly called a diamond, so we have to keep it safe!" April said, as I came over to help her fasten the clasp around Mariah's neck.

"May this ever be a reminder to her of her parents' love for her and their commitment to support her in her life's journey, wherever it leads."

She beamed, looking down at the pendant when I picked her back up. "Wouldn't it be so cool if mama had the same one as you?" Rye nodded and I pulled out another box with a bigger version of Mariah's butterfly for her.

"Jackson! We said no gifts!" she blushed and whispered indignantly. "I didn't get you anything…"

"It's not for you. It's for Rye, look how excited she is ," I whispered back and kissed her collarbone.

"May this always serve as a reminder for April of her family's love for her, and as an acknowledgement of her journey and transformation thus far." We kissed.

"Now who has that last box?" the pastor asked, and my mother-in law stepped forward and handed it to me. "The family has specifically asked that scripture not be used in this ceremony, but have relied on some form of faith to get them where they are today. Traditionally, butterflies represent not only transformation, but faith in life's journey. On this special day, Jackson and April would like to take a moment to remember their son, Samuel Norbert Avery by releasing one single monarch butterfly. They remember him with joy in their hearts as they have faith that he too, has journeyed to a better place, though he is always in their hearts. As you watch the butterfly go, they ask that you, too remember the love he brought to their lives, even for a short time."

"Are you ready angel? Help mommy and daddy open the box." I placed her hand over mine. "One, two three…"

The beach was quiet as we opened the box and the butterfly flew out, except for my daughter's giggle. "Burr-fly!"

"Shhh! Yeah sweetheart, another butterfly. Watch it go bye-bye."

"Why bye-bye?"

"He's going to go visit Samuel."

"Bruh-der." She knew as much about Samuel as she could at her age. Not much, but it was important to both of us that she knew who he was, at least.

"Yeah, your brother." I squeezed April's hand and kissed Mariah's cheek.

"I want a bruh-der or sister wit me here, daddy."

"Maybe soon, sweetie," April promised before I could answer. We were still watching the butterfly gradually fly out of sight.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, I mean….It's our celebration night," she smiled as the butterfly disappeared, then kissed me. "We're celebrating today. And what time is it now Rye?"

"Time fer eatin' and dancin'?" she asked, eyes wide.

"Yeah, daddy's gonna turn you around and you say 'Thanks for coming to our ceremony, everyone. Now it's time to eat and dance with me inside. Follow us.'"

"Ready Rye?" She nodded and I turned around to everyone.

"Thanks fer comin' to ours cer-e-mony evy-one. It time to eat an' dance wit me inside. Follow us! But daddy?"

"What?"

"I want mommy to carry me, not you!"

"Ok." Everyone laughed as I passed her to April, who took her in one arm and grabbed my hand, still hysterical. Her easy laughter alone was worth a whole day of celebration.