The Downward Spiral of Pixie

Daisy narrowed her eyes as she saw an opening form between Kelly and Cunningham. It was slight, but she was sure she could fit through if she rotated. Leaning completely flush against her broom, she shot forward, shifting her bodyweight to the right so that she was flying on her side. She whooshed through, and smiled to herself, happy to have gotten one move down finally. She pulled up and looked around, trying to remember where she last saw the snitch.

"Daisy! Watch it!" she heard John shout. She looked around wildly, trying to find the bludger that was likely heading her way. She dove down towards the pitch and then had the air knocked out of her when the bludger laid into her left side. She lost her grip on the broom and tumbled through the air. Luckily she had only been a few feet from the ground. She groaned slightly as she rolled down the field a bit before coming to a stop on her back.

She lifted her head slightly and let it fall back on the ground with a thud, grimacing slightly. It was the fourth bludger she had taken in practice that day and they were still in the morning session. She was no stranger to getting hit, but with her focus off since the first match of the season, she had been taking more of them lately. Didn't help that she was still pissed at herself for missing the snitch in yesterday's match against the Harpies.

"Are you okay?" Kelly asked as he appeared above her, his face worried. "You didn't have any funny feelings or anything?" He reached down and offered a hand to help her up. She was grateful to have one more person on the team who was let in on what was going on with her, though she knew Lucy had told him everything and she worried he would let something slip to John. Thankfully Lucy had conveniently left out that Wills was in the know.

"No, nothing like that," she said, brushing grass off herself. "Just old fashioned can't concentrate." She took a deep breath and looked around, noticing the entire team was watching them, making sure she was okay.

"I'm fine!" she yelled. "Just frustrated!"

"You've been taking bludger hits far too often lately," Kelly said.

"I know. It's screwing with me keeping my eye on the snitch," Daisy said, walking over to grab her broom from where it landed a few feet away. She grabbed it a bit too roughly than intended and it nearly shot out of her hand towards Kelly. He jumped back, hands up. Daisy stared at him a moment before he smiled tensely and dropped his hands.

"Sorry… reaction from last time," he said with a nervous chuckle. The other day at practice Daisy had gotten so frustrated that her broom flew out of her hand and given him a black eye.

"No, it's my fault. I just can't seem to keep things under control," she said, frowning at the ground.

"Been spending more time with your mum?"

"Yea, but it just makes me more frustrated because I'm still not getting it," Daisy whispered furiously.

"Just… keep at it. It'll come eventually," he said with an encouraging smile.

"I wish people would stop saying that," Daisy growled.

"Wood! Kelly! If you're done with your little tea party, the rest of the team would like to get back to practice!" Nilsson yelled. They both looked over at him where he hovered nearby in the air.

"Yes, Coach!" they yelled. Kelly hopped on his broom and took off while Daisy followed. She flew up high above the pitch and hovered, watching while the chasers set up again and the beaters circled around them, waiting to start launching bludgers at them.

She silently fumed. It had been months and she still felt no closer to controlling her errant magic. The fights and explosions had thankfully lessened since she moved in with John, but that didn't seem to stop the constant worrying and fretting. Or the random moments when she would sense one of her brothers and nearly stop mid-flight as the vision overtook her.

Jamie had long gained control of his, but Daisy was still too sensitive to them. She had had one in another match last week against the Kestrals and very nearly collided with their keeper after seeing Alan getting knocked off his broom with a bludger. He and Remus had been playing against the Cannons at the time and while she had stopped herself from orbing, she had very nearly taken Hugo Larssen out.

It rattled her so much that she just barely missed catching the snitch. While the Arrows had still won, Nilsson yelled at her about focus for 10 minutes after the match anyway.

Didn't help that the press was starting to take notice. Another article about her declining performance had ran that morning with the writer wondering if her first two seasons were just a fluke or if the famous Pixie was already starting to lose her edge. Daisy could feel tears prick her eyes as she remembered every single mistake the writer pointed out clearly. She had been reliving each one regardless.

She had started avoiding the players' exit after matches, opting instead to go home straight from the locker room. John and Kelly had tried to get her to face the press and show she wasn't affected by it, but she just couldn't do it. Even the piles of fan letters that were still coming in didn't seem to change her mind. They remained untouched in the living room and were slowly growing into a mountain on one side of the room.

"What's going on, Wood?" Nilsson asked as he flew up next to her. Daisy jumped and quickly grabbed her broom to keep her balance. She hadn't seen or heard him fly up. She must really be losing her edge.

"Nothing, Coach," she said, looking back down to the field. "I'm just getting my bearings before I give it another go." Nilsson looked at her, taking in the tears she was frantically trying to hide and the firm look she was using to cover up the obvious fear in her eyes.

"You've got to stop beating yourself up, Wood," he finally said, looking back down at the team.

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"I can see it every time you make another mistake. You're dwelling on it too much and it's got you stuck in your head. You won't get back to playing like you usually do until you get out of your head," he said. Daisy sighed.

"If only it were that easy," she muttered.

"Well, it's not impossible," he said, shooting a sideways glance at her. "But you're not even trying." Daisy whipped her head over to scowl at him.

"I am trying. I'm bloody beating myself up trying," she said indignantly.

"I can see it in your eyes every time you get hit or fall or miss the snitch," he said. "You're giving up."

"I'm not giving up!" Daisy shouted, feeling her broom jerk a bit under her. She tightened her grip, closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before the broom shot off on its own accord. "I'm not giving up," she said again, this time more softly. She opened her eyes. "I'm just… I feel lost."

Nilsson looked over at her, his concern apparent in his ice blue eyes. Daisy could feel it and refused to look at him. It would only make her feel worse than she already did.

"There's just… so much going on in my head that I can't see to stay focused. I keep thinking about all those mistakes and then that leads to new mistakes and then I get stuck thinking about those too," she admitted, blinking rapidly to keep the tears at bay. She'd be damned if she was going to cry on the pitch.

"Stop thinking so much, rookie," he said, looking back down to the field. Daisy laughed haggardly.

"If only I had a galleon for every time I've been told that the last few months," she said wearily.

"What's really going on, Daisy? Is it something with Kingfisher?" he asked.

"No," she said immediately. "For once it's not that." And it was true. Since she had moved in with him, John had laid off on all the talk about connections, content for the time being that she had at least felt him. She didn't have the heart to tell him that she hadn't gotten so much as a faint breeze of it since the party. Which was yet another thing that weighed heavily on her mind.

"Then what is it? Your dad being too hard on you? Your brothers?"

"Not that either," she said.

"Any other family stuff?"

"I can't tell you," Daisy said bitterly, still not looking at him. Nilsson looked over, taking in her rigid posture, nostrils flaring as she glared out into space.

"You know you can talk to me about anything," he said. "I've been your coach for two seasons now. You can trust me."

"It's not about trust," she said. "It's… I just can't." Her eyes found John, who was glancing up at her whenever he wasn't batting the bludger off to try and hit one of the chasers.

"Whatever it is that's bothering you… I know you, Daisy. You're strong. But… you can't carry the whole world on your shoulders all the time. Sometimes it's okay to ask for help," he said. Daisy glanced over at him. She wished she could ask someone to help with this. She wished she could ask someone to take all her gifts away so she could go back to be just normal Daisy. Not future savior of the wizarding world Daisy.

She sighed and shook her head.

"If only it were that simple," she said. She looked back down at the chasers, following their formation with her eyes. After Nilsson didn't respond, she took a deep breath and tightened her gloves.

"If that's it, I should get back to practice," she said, still not looking at him.

"Go on."

Nilsson took a deep breath as he walked down the hallway at the stadium in Puddlemere, nearing Oliver's office. He had never been back to this part of the stadium before, but he couldn't think of anyone else he could share his concerns with about Daisy. He knew the seeker would likely be angry with him for going to her father, but at the moment, it was the only way he could see about getting some answers.

The door was open as he stepped up. He peeked in, seeing Oliver bent over the desk, looking down at a board laid there, in fierce concentration as a number of symbols flew around. Nilsson knocked on the open door, waiting to walk in until Oliver looked up.

"Lucas. What can I do for you?" Oliver asked, a mixture of concern and confusion on his face. He knew the only reason the Arrows coach would come to visit was Daisy. Nilsson cleared his throat as he stepped in and took a seat across from Oliver.

"Well… I'm here about Daisy," he said, looking up at the older coach. Oliver sat down and sighed.

"Figured as much… she didn't blow up the locker room, did she?" he asked, attempting to pass it off a joke, though the worry in his eyes didn't fool Nilsson.

"No. But… she's not been herself lately. Not since Jamie's accident if I'm going to be truthful," he said. Oliver nodded.

"She's been a bit frazzled about that," he admitted.

"She disappeared in practice not long ago… when she came back she said she ended up in Wigtown," Nilsson said. Oliver's eyes widened. None of the Wood children had obviously told him.

"Is that so?" he asked, rubbing his face.

"She's been unfocused, sloppy, uncoordinated. She randomly freezes during practice and matches. Basically everything that you and I both know Daisy Wood is not normally," Nilsson replied.

He studied Oliver a few moments, waiting for him to say something. When he didn't volunteer anything, he continued.

"She won't tell me anything about what's going on with her. Said she can't. Though she will volunteer things that it is not," Nilsson said. "Are you going to tell me what's going on or do I need to go to Iris or her brothers?"

Oliver seemed to collapse back into his chair, obviously debating something in his head. He looked at Nilsson and then away, different emotions playing across his face.

"We probably should have let you in on things when it first happened," he said finally.

"What happened?"

"Well, you heard about the accident?" Oliver asked, looking at Nilsson.

"Yea, Jamie got hit and Daisy stopped his fall," he said.

"The accident… Daisy and Jamie have… well, they've picked up some more of their mother's gifts," Oliver said. He had decided to let Nilsson in on only the parts he needed to know for the time being. "They can orb, do wandless magic. And they've developed connections with each other as well as their other brothers, me and Iris."

Nilsson frowned as he sat up in his chair.

"What do you mean connections?" he asked. Oliver took a deep breath.

"It's like… whenever we're nearby, they can sense our emotions. At a distant, usually they don't feel anything. But they can tell when we're in danger or about to get injured. Jamie's learned to control it, but Daisy… she's been struggling with it," he said. Nilsson nodded slowly.

"So when she went to Wigtown?"

"Remus or Alan must have been about to get into some sort of accident," Oliver said. Nilsson took a deep breath, thinking over what Oliver had just told him.

"Well… this makes things more complicated," Nilsson said.

"Maybe… I know she's going to hate this, but maybe you should consider putting her on reserves for the time being. Until she can get it under control. She's been under a lot of stress and it's caused quite a few disasters lately," Oliver said. Nilsson looked at him, noting that putting Daisy on reserves seemed to be the last thing Oliver Wood wanted to see. Truth be told, while the thought had crossed his mind, he couldn't really stomach the idea either. And he knew Daisy would certainly have a few choice words to say about it.

"What kind of disasters?" Nilsson asked.

"She caused all the windows in their flat to explode after a fight with Remus and John one day. Blew up John's TV another time from what I heard," Oliver confessed. Nilsson's eyebrows rose.

"She's that volatile?" he asked.

"Not lately, but she can be," Oliver said wearily. "Iris said it's unfortunately a side effect. She was the same before she got it under control. Something would cause it to flare up or set it off and… sometimes people got hurt."

"What did Iris do?" Nilsson asked. "To get it under control?" Oliver was silent. He looked at Nilsson, his eyes suddenly full of anguish.

"She didn't. Well not through work… she tried to use too much of it too soon… it put her in a coma for over a year. She had gained control when she woke up in the middle of the Battle of Hogwarts," he said quietly. "We've been trying everything we can think of to help Daisy, but not much has been working. Mostly Band-Aid stuff. Moving her out of the flat when she and Remus started arguing too much. Trying to work with her, keep her practicing. But… she doesn't seem to be improving." Nilsson nodded.

"Is there anything I can do?" he asked. "Maybe I could start her on some specialized training or…"

"I don't think there's much any of us can do," Oliver admitted. "She's either going to get it or she's not."

"Is there any information we could look into? Other people like them?" Nilsson asked. Oliver shook his head.

"Not much. Some of the family at the Ministry have been looking into it. They think they've found a professor who might know something, but haven't been able to track him down yet," Oliver said. Nilsson nodded again. He then stood.

"Thanks for telling me, Oliver. I've got some things to think about. If you'll excuse me," he said before turning and walking out. Oliver watched him and then sighed heavily and sat back in his chair, wondering just what they were going to do with Daisy.

"What did Coach talk to you about today?" John asked, looking over at Daisy who was curled up at the other end of the sofa, her arms wrapped around a cushion as they watched TV.

"Just… wonderin' where my head's been at lately," she said.

"Did you tell him?" he asked. Daisy shook her head.

"I'm not supposed to, remember?" she said bitterly. "Though I suppose it'd be loads easier if I could."

"Why can't you?" John asked. Daisy shot him a look.

"My family," she said.

"Surely you can tell him some things. He'd probably go easier on you if he knew about the whole connection thing," John said. Daisy rolled her eyes.

"I was told to keep as much to myself and the family as possible," she said, starting to get irritated.

"But if it could help you on the pitch, surely they'd understand-"

"I can't tell him, John," she snapped. John was silent a few moments. He looked back to the TV, not sure how to continue. He could see with each passing day, Daisy retreated more and more into herself. She took every failure hard. And there seemed to be nothing anyone could do to bring her out of her funk.

"Is there anything you want to talk about with me?" he asked. Daisy looked at him and started to open her mouth. "I know, I know. There are things that you can't tell me. But is there something – anything – you can talk about? Because I don't think it's good for you to bottle it up."

Daisy snapped her head back towards the TV, fighting with herself.

"I can't," she said. "Best to just leave it be."

"I can't just let it go," John said. "You're my girlfriend and something is wrong. Forgive me for wanting to try and help." Daisy shot up off the sofa and began pacing.

"Even if I could tell you, there's nothing you can do to help me," she said.

"I don't believe that-"

"Well you best start believin' because it's true," Daisy spat. "Even my own mother – who gave me these damn abilities – can't even help me." John sat back on the sofa, watching her continue to walk back and forth like a caged animal.

"I mean, Merlin, you can't even imagine what it's like!" she shouted. "Every time a damn bludger heads toward Jamie, Alan or Remus, I see it – even though I'd relish the idea of Remus getting his head taken off by one. And then sometimes, I just, I get so angry and frustrated and I feel it… it starts just bubbling up and I can't stop it. And I know that I have to because I could hurt someone, but I can't! I bloody can't!"

John looked around the room, noticing the pictures frames starting to shake.

"Daisy…"

"And then Mum is always, 'You have to find your center.' As if I didn't need one more thing to fucking thing about," Daisy continued. "And Jamie's over there just content as can be. Doing everything as easy as breathin'. While I can't even make a damn shield stay up for longer than two minutes before I want to pass out."

The picture frames were rattling even more vehemently. John was becoming more confused by her rant, but the most important thing in that moment was calming her down.

"Daisy, I really think you should calm down," John said soothingly, looking around the room.

"Don't you bloody start too, John Kingfisher," she yelled.

"I'm not trying to tell you to do anything, but really-"

"Just shut up, John!"

Suddenly the doorbell sounded and John hopped up, running to it while praying Daisy got herself under control. He nearly collapsed with relief when he saw Oliver on the doorstep.

"Thank god you're here. Can you calm her down?" he asked, pulling the older man into the flat.

"What are you talking- Oh Merlin," Oliver said as he walked into the living room and saw Daisy still pacing and fuming to herself, the picture frames starting to fall off the walls they were shaking so hard.

He ran over to Daisy and grabbed her about the shoulders, spinning her so she was looking at him.

"Daisy, look at me. You need to calm down," he said firmly.

"Why does everyone keep saying that like it's the easiest thing to do?!" she shouted.

"Because you might hurt John if you don't," he said softly. Daisy suddenly stopped, realizing what was happening. She looked around the room as the frames slowly stopped shaking.

"Oh… Merlin… I'm so sorry. I didn't even realize…"

Oliver pulled her into a hug as her eyes teared up.

"It's okay. You stopped it," he said, rubbing her back. He looked over at John, who looked around the room in relief. "I think maybe I should take her out somewhere… to calm down a bit more." John nodded wordlessly. Oliver started walking to the door, leading a now silently crying Daisy with him.

Once they were outside, Daisy started sobbing loudly.

"I'm so sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to. Just sometimes it gets away from me," she wailed. Oliver kept his arm around her as they walked, rubbing his hand up and down her bicep.

"It's alright. We all know this isn't easy for you," he said.

"But it's easy for Jamie," she sobbed. "Why can't it be easy for me too?" Oliver chuckled.

"Jamie's been dealing with his Legilimens for years. You can't expect that you'll learn how to handle something like this overnight," Oliver said.

"I can't even turn the damn connection off," Daisy muttered, still sniffling. "Which is just making me feel worse because I can tell how worried you are." Oliver looked down at her, noticing she had somewhat gotten her tears under control.

"Fancy a dram or two with your old dad?" he asked. Daisy looked up at him, wiping her face.

"Sure. If you think I won't burn the pub down," she said, a hint of a smile. Oliver laughed softly.

"I think we can risk it," he said, starting to walk a little faster, leading her down the street to a pub nearby.

Once they were settled, their glasses of firewhisky in front of them, Daisy took a long deep breath.

"What set it off this time?" Oliver asked her.

"We weren't really arguing. John just wanted to help. Thought I should tell Nilsson what's going on, but I told him I couldn't. And then I just… everything caught up to me a bit and I started ranting and getting more frustrated," she said before taking a long drink. She put her glass down and looked up at her father, her eyes brimming with tears again.

"What if I really do hurt him one day?" she asked softly. Oliver reached across the table and took her hand.

"You won't," he said, though he could tell she didn't believe him. To be honest, he was worried that she would end up hurting him - or someone else - if she didn't get things under wraps.

"Even I don't believe you and I don't need to feel you to know that," she said ruefully, looking down at her glass. "Seems only you and Wills are the ones who can talk me down." Oliver looked confused.

"Wills? When did he do that?" he asked, slightly incredulously.

"At the party after the Puddlemere-Arrows match. Remus said something truly horrid and I nearly made all the glass explode before Wills calmed me down," she said. "Haven't spoken to Remus since." Oliver nodded.

"Daisy… maybe you should consider moving home for a bit," Oliver said. Daisy looked up at him, eyes wide.

"Why?" she asked. Oliver took a deep breath.

"Well, Nilsson came by to talk about you today. I ended up telling him most of what's going on and it got me thinking… I don't want you getting hurt or hurting someone else by accident. Maybe you should consider taking a break. Stay with your mum and I. That way if it flares up, we can calm you down. And it might help to you to focus on just this thing instead of everything at once," he said. Daisy's mouth dropped open.

"You want me to quit quidditch?" she asked softly.

"Not quit for good… just until you can get a handle on things," Oliver said. Tears started pouring down her cheeks again.

"But… what if I never get a hold on things?" she asked. "You would have me quit for good? Shut myself off from everyone?"

"You will get a handle on this, Daisy. But it would be better if you were with us all the time so we can help you," he said. Daisy thought for a moment, blinking furiously through the tears. She had to admit it was sound advice - especially with how everything had been going lately.

But something inside her fought against it. She couldn't quit quidditch. It was all she knew. She couldn't hide away. And as much as everyone wanted to help, only she could figure out how to get control of her magic.

"I can't, dad," she said softly, looking back up at him. "I can't run away and hide until I get this. I'm terrified of hurting someone, yes. But… I need to figure this out on my own."

"But what if it flares up during a match?" Oliver asked. Daisy took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"I won't let that happen," she said simply.

"But you saw what just happened. What if I hadn't gotten there when I did?" he asked. Daisy shrugged.

"John and I would have spent the night fixing picture frames," she said.

"Daisy… this is serious. I don't want to lose you," Oliver said, squeezing her hand. "I don't want you to-" He stopped, unable to articulate his fear that Daisy too would fall into a coma like her mother. Of course he didn't need to say anything. Daisy could feel it.

"I won't let that happen, Dad. I can figure this out. I can balance my gifts with playing quidditch. I will figure this out," she said, for once starting to believe herself. Oliver studied her for a moment.

"You always were stubborn like your mother," he finally said, a small smile on his worn face.

"And you," she added, smiling. "Don't worry so much, Da. It'll make your hair gray." Oliver chuckled.

"Surprised it's not white at this point," he muttered. Daisy laughed.

"I'll get this. Especially when I have the whole family cheering me on," she said with a slight roll of her eyes. "Just need to… find a way to express the anger in a… safer environment." Oliver thought for a moment.

"I may have an idea," he said. Daisy looked at him.

"What?"

Daisy stood in the middle of the pitch at her parents' house, watching dubiously as her father conjured up what seemed like millions of glass items around her.

"This is your idea?" she asked, her arms crossed in front of her. Oliver shrugged.

"Couldn't hurt," he said. Standing a safe distance away, Iris watched on, curious about her husband's idea. Once he had finished, he ran over to stand next to Iris. "Now… just… let it out. Don't stop yourself. If anything comes our way, your mother will protect us."

Daisy shot her mother a look and got a shrug in return, so just shook her head and started to loosen up a bit.

"Alright then… here goes nothing," she said. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, allowing all the frustration from the day flow through her. She could feel her power start to bubble up, as though it were slowly coming to a boil.

She thought about the missed snitches, the bludger hits, Nilsson's disappointment. Her own disappointment. The press. She thought of Remus - and how she missed how things used to be between them. A hot tear streaked down her cheek as she felt the simmering magic in her start to grow and build.

All around her, the tickling of glass could be heard.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Iris asked, watching Daisy closely.

"Seemed like a good one at the time, Red… I'm not so sure now," he said, taking a step back as the ticking grew louder and the ground began to shake a little.

Daisy continued thinking about Remus yelling at her. Jamie looking at her with concern. Alan trying to cheer her up. Wills distracting her. John smiling down at her. Each and everyone of her family. Coach staring at her in concern. The thought of losing any of them. Daisy gasped as her eyes flew open. The magic was pouring out of her in waves as her eyes started glowing. The tears came faster as the fear, worry, anger, frustration - everything - continued to build and build until finally she screamed. It was like something snapped inside her and a shockwave pulsed out breaking all the glass around her. A shield flew up around Iris and Oliver just before it hit them.

After a few moments, it was over.

Silence filled the dark pitch as Daisy breathed heavily and looked around at the shattered glass as it sparkled in the grass around her. She looked over at her parents, still standing behind the shield.

"Well… that actually felt good," Daisy said, smiling slightly. "I think I'm spent. You can put the shield down now."

"Um… Daisy… I'm not the one doing it," Iris said. Daisy stared at them in confusion. Iris grinned and laughed at the stunned look on her daughter's face. "You can let us out now!"

Daisy shook her head and concentrated, allowing the shield to fall. She walked over to her parents.

"I did that? I shielded you in the middle of all that?" she asked. Iris nodded.

"Sometimes, you just need to let go and let your instincts kick in," she said. She looked at Oliver. "Maybe we've been approaching this all wrong. Instead of focusing on trying to get her to control it, we should be pushing her to let go." She looked back at Daisy.

"I do feel much better. Calmer," Daisy said. "It's the calmest I've felt since this whole thing started." Iris looked around.

"Alright then, I think we know where to start next time you come over."

A bit more of a dramatic chapter. But well, I imagine if it were me, I'd get stuck in my head overthinking everything as well. May post another chapter later today. I'm holed up in a coffee shop for a few hours while my apartment is being scrubbed down to appease the landlady (it had gotten a bit bad, to be honest) so hoping to get a lot of writing done. Not to mention I'm working all day tomorrow, so will probably get a decent amount done then as well since weekends are usually slow days at the office.

Aleenabean: Yea, I think it could work, though Dom is still hung up on Paul. I had that in there a few places but realized recently that I hadn't fully fleshed it out like I should, so we'll see her deal with that a bit more coming up.

As always, thanks for reading, following and reviewing! We're nearly halfway through this one and I've got most of of the end down - just need to finish up chapters and do edits/rewrites, which is actually what I've spent most of the last few days doing. Hope everyone has a great weekend!