A/N: So I've written and rewritten this chapter a few times. I think I've been fighting so hard to write because it's been hard to admit that I'm burnt out with this story. And I hate these huge breaks between chapters, but I'm struggling to feel inspired. BUT I'm not one to leave something unfinished. So I've decided to keep going, but I'm going to wrap up the story a little sooner than planned.

I'm really sorry for those who wait for new chapters to be posted. It's taking so long, and I know that's frustrating. Thanks for sticking with me! And for all the amazing reviews. You guys are truly the best! 3

In this chapter, I have a bit of a time skip and angst. I wanted to show that even when things seem perfect, they never are. No matter how much two people love each other, there will always be struggles and drama. That's what makes the happier times worth it. Jason getting his memories back isn't an instant happy ending. There are still things that come with being Jason Morgan that both Jason and Sam will have to deal with. And both sides have valid reasons for how they feel, so it will be interesting to see how they deal with it.

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Happy reading!

Jen

buttercup0303

Chapter 45

The weeks following their rescue trip to Italy passed in a blur. The news of Helena's death, Robin's return home, and Jason's memories coming back spread quickly and had the people of Port Charles in an uproar. Sam and Jason had already been visited several times by family and friends eager to reconnect with Jason now that his memories were intact. Sonny, Carly, Michael, and Monica were frequent visitors at the penthouse. Sam could see her life falling back into place, and she couldn't be happier.

She was sitting in her office, typing up some notes for a case she had just closed when the door swung open. She glanced up to see Jason walk in with Danny in his arms. Danny's head was on Jason's shoulder, and he was obviously asleep. Their eyes meeting, Jason winked at her and moved to the couch, where he gently laid Danny down. He covered him with the small throw Sam had tossed over the back of the couch, tucking it around him. He leaned over him for a moment, brushing the hair out of Danny's face, a look of utter devotion on his face.

Sam found herself blinking back tears. Seeing Jason and Danny together, the bond they'd formed, the love they shared? It was beyond anything Sam could have hoped for. Jason turned to look at her just as she swiped at a stray tear. His brow furrowed in concern and he moved towards her, grabbing her hand and pulling her up into his arms. He lowered his head to hers and studied her face.

"Sam?"

Sam chuckled, shaking her head.

"I'm fine. I'm just...I'm happy, Jason. I'm so incredibly happy." She said, her voice breaking a little. She let out a self-conscious laugh as Jason brushed her cheeks with his thumbs, wiping the tears from her face.

"Sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me." She mumbled, clearing her voice and trying to shake off the urge to cry. What the hell, Sam? She wondered in annoyance.

Jason lifted her chin and dropped a sweet kiss on her lips.

"I'm happy too. I'm just crying on the inside." He teased, making her laugh.

"So did my guys have fun at the zoo?"

Jason grinned.

"It was great. Danny made me go to the lion habitat about twenty times. And he's so smart! He remembered a lot of the stuff I read to him about lions last night. It was great." He repeated, his eyes lit up with remembered joy. His day with his son had been perfect.

"I'm glad you two had a little Father/Son time." Sam smiled up at him.

Jason smiled and sat on the edge of her desk, pulling her between his legs. His arms looped around her waist loosely, he debated whether or not to bring up a topic sure to spoil the mood.

"What's wrong?"

Jason shook his head, a small smirk on his lips. His wife knew him too well.

"Sonny stopped by the penthouse this morning. He asked me if I would come back to work for him."

Sam's eyes widened in shock but she held her breath and waited for him to continue but he didn't say anything else. He just watched her, waiting for a reaction. Sam's mind was racing in a million directions, but they all ended up in the same place. Complete and utter terror.

Schooling her features into a calm but curious mask, all she said was, "What did you tell him?"

"I told him I had to speak to you first."

She stared at him, studying his eyes. What she saw there sent disappointment flooding through her as her eyes darted towards Danny. She shifted away from Jason a little, needing a bit of space between them.

"You don't need my permission to do anything. Besides, I can see it on your face. You want to say yes." She said quietly, watching him carefully.

He was silent for a moment before nodding. She shifted back another step from him, his hands just barely reaching her waist now. She wasn't taking this the way he had hoped.

"You've always been so supportive of me, and you always accepted my lifestyle. I mean, just a few weeks ago, we went off on a dangerous mission together and everything was fine." He began carefully, hoping to waylay her argument.

"That was different. I was with you. And it was a onetime thing. You're talking about working for Sonny day in and day out." She argued quickly.

Jason sighed.

"I lived as Jace Smith, and I was happy. But there was always something missing, some sense of purpose that I needed. I think this is it. Protecting my family and closest friends? It's important to me."

Sam nodded slowly, unconsciously taking another step back, causing Jason's hands to drop off her waist. He looked at her in alarm. She was pulling away from him.

"Something was missing? So what, our life with our son, that's not fulfilling enough for you? We don't give you a sense of purpose?" She snapped, hurt and fear warring inside her.

Jason stared at her, starting to get angry. She had to know better than that.

"Don't put words in my mouth. Of course it is. But just like you need your work, so do I."

"So then go work for Michael! Hell, get a job on the docks. Why do you have to go back to work for Sonny? Why put your life on the line again and again?"

"Because I'm tired of feeling powerless!" He exploded, cursing when Danny jerked in his sleep. He let out a breath when Danny just shifted, seemingly unbothered. Sam had flinched at his outburst.

"Jason-."

"Sam, for the last two years, I was held prisoner. I was tortured and brainwashed. Then I finally escape and that sonuvabitch Franco runs me over. I almost died, but I survived because you found me and you stayed by my side. But I spent the last year with no memories, Sam. Dependent on everyone around me for help, for survival. Even when we figured out who I was, I was still dependent on everyone else. To tell me what our past was, to tell me about my own experiences."

Jason paced away, and Sam stared at him. She'd known he'd struggled, but she hadn't realized that he'd felt so powerless. When he turned back to her, she was stunned to see his eyes blazing with emotion.

"I almost killed you just three weeks ago, Sam. With a single word, Helena took away my control and almost made me kill the most precious person in my life. I'm never going to be that powerless, that weak again."

Sam rushed forward and gripped his face between her hands.

"You are not weak, Jason. You're the strongest person I've ever known. You were strong enough not to hurt me. You fought off her control and you won. You don't have to work for Sonny to prove to anyone that you're not weak."

Jason reached up and pulled her hands from his face, but kept them in his own.

"Sam, please try to understand. I have to do this. You used to say that you trusted me, that you knew I could protect you and Danny. Just trust me again. Trust that I can handle this, and understand that I need to do this." He pleaded with her, suddenly desperate to get her to understand.

Sam shook her head, trying to get her thoughts in order. Trying to figure out how to say what she wanted to without exploding or getting overly emotional. She didn't want Jason to shut down but she felt like she was fighting for her life. For their lives.

"I get that. I do. And you're right. I've always supported your lifestyle. I've never doubted for a second that you could keep Danny and I safe. But you died, Jason. You died and left me alone with Danny for two years. And it almost killed me too. I just got you back. I don't want to lose you again."

Way to stay calm, Sam. She bit back a sigh, frustrated with herself.

Jason was staring at her. Hearing the pain in her voice when she spoke about his supposed death left him shattered. But more than that, it felt like she'd lost faith in him. She didn't believe in him anymore.

"Sam…" He started but trailed off. He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he could say.

She closed her eyes briefly, taking a steadying breath. She couldn't do this. She turned towards Danny and sat on the edge of the couch. He'd kicked off the blanket when he'd shifted earlier, so she reached out to cover him again with shaking hands.

"Sam-." Jason started again, but this time Sam cut him off with a hand up.

"Don't. Danny could wake up at any moment. We can talk about this later." She couldn't think about this anymore. She was feeling uncharacteristically fragile and vulnerable. She wasn't up for a fight, and she had a feeling this would be one.

Jason studied Sam with concern. She was pale and her hands shook when she'd covered Danny.

"Okay. Let's go home." He said simply, determined to make things right with Sam once they were alone. But Dam shook her head.

"Go ahead and take Danny. I have a few loose ends to tie up and then I'm meeting Molly and Krissy for a little Davis Girls bonding." Sam offered up a weak smile, but she didn't meet his eyes.

Jason hesitated, not wanting to leave things the way they were. He reached down and caught her hand, surprising her enough to have her lifting her eyes up to his.

"I love you, Sam."

Sam nodded, closing her eyes briefly. A single tear slipped down her face but she swiped at it quickly.

"I know. I love you too."

It was even harder to leave her after seeing that tear, but Jason knew that Sam needed space. And to be honest, so did he.

….

"TJ just stared at me, totally shocked." Molly finished with a smirk, sending Krissy into peals of laughter.

"I bet he was! Molly, you're a freak!" She exclaimed, looking at her little sister with pride.

Molly shrugged and grinned, glancing at Sam. Her smile faded a bit and she nudged Krissy with her foot under the table. Krissy looked up questioningly, and followed Molly's pointed stare to Sam.

Sam's eyes were unfocused, her face a little pale. She seemed like she was a million miles away.

Molly reached out to touch Sam's hand, and Sam jolted in surprise. Molly gripped Sam's hand and squeezed it in concern.

"Hey, Sam. Where are you right now?" She asked gently.

"Yeah, you've been staring out into space all night." Krissy added, turning towards Sam.

Sam shook her head, smiling weakly in apology.

"Sorry. I'm just, I'm a little distracted. But I'm listening, I promise. Molly's a freak."

Neither Krissy nor Molly seemed to buy it. Sam bit her lip, avoiding their eyes.

"Spill." Krissy demanded.

"Sam, seriously. Tell us what's wrong." Molly added.

Sam shook her head again, shoving her hair out of her face. She let out a teary laugh as she fought the urge to lay her head down on the table and sob.

"Jason is going back to work for Sonny." She finally said, her voice breaking.

Molly's eyes widened. She shot a look at Krissy, who had a wide grin on her face.

"Sam, that's great! My dad has needed someone he could trust and he hasn't been able to find anyone since Jason."

Sam glared at her.

"Yeah, it's great for Sonny." She spat, saying his name derisively. "But what about Jason? What about me and Danny?"

Molly kicked Krissy for being so insensitive. Krissy glared at her, rubbing her shin.

"What? My dad and Jason have worked together for decades. Is it so wrong for him to ask his friend to come back to the business they built together? You never had a problem with it before. Why now?" Krissy pushed on, feeling defensive of her father.

Molly shot her sister a look of exasperation.

"How about the fact that the last job Jason did for Sonny ended up with him being presumed dead?" Molly said, then covered her mouth when Sam blanched.

"I'm so sorry, Sam. That was a dumb thing to say."

Sam shook her head again.

"No, you're right. Krissy, I know Sonny is your dad and you want him safe. But Jason is my husband and the father of my child. I want him safe. And he's not safe as long as he's working for Sonny again."

Krissy looked remorseful, and nodded.

"I'm sorry, Sam. That was totally selfish of me. I was just relieved my dad would be safer, but you're right. Jason needs to put his family first."

Sam looked down at the table, the wood looking blurry through her tears.

"He said he needs to do it for himself, not for Sonny. He's going to do it no matter what."

She glanced up and Molly and Krissy were heartbroken to see their usually strong sister appear on the edge of falling apart. Sam took a shuddering breath and continued.

"And I am so terrified that Sonny is going to show up at my door again, telling me Jason was shot. And I can't-I can't-I can't go through that again." She was sobbing at the end, gasping for breath.

Krissy and Molly stared at her in dismay. Molly jumped up and dragged her seat closer, wrapping her arms around her sister and pulling her into her arms. Krissy scooted her chair closer and hugged Sam from behind.

"It's going to be okay, Sam. It's going to be okay." Molly murmured as Sam cried brokenly against her shoulder. Krissy smoothed Sam's hair down her back, her eyes lighting with determination.

"Don't worry, Sam. This is NOT going to happen." Krissy said in a hard voice. She stood up, snatched up her purse, and swept out of The Floating Rib without another word.

Sam lifted her head and stared after her.

"Oh, God. What do you think she's going to do?" She said, wiping at her tears, feeling stupid.

"Don't worry about Krissy. Sam, you need to talk to Jason. He needs to know how scared you are."

Sam shook her head again.

"I already told him how I felt. But with everything that he's been through, he's felt so powerless. He feels like this will help him take back his control. And I get that, I do. I'm just so scared. I don't know what's wrong with me." Sam ran her hands through her hair, suddenly exhausted.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Sam. You're tired, and scared, and you have every right to be. Come on, why don't I get you home so you can get some sleep?"

Sam nodded. She climbed to her feet, and suddenly the room seemed to spin, dots flashing in front of her eyes. She stumbled against the table, and Molly cried out, reaching out to steady her.

"Sam! Sam, are you okay?"

Sam put a hand on the table and took a deep breath or two, waiting for the room to stop spinning. Finally, she looked up at Molly, who looked near tears.

"I'm fine. I stood up too soon and I haven't really eaten all day. I just got a little dizzy."

Molly pushed her back into her seat. She shoved the plate of fiesta fries they'd been sharing in front of Sam.

"Eat. Then we can go." She instructed her firmly, calling a waiter over and ordering a plate of ribs.

Sam protested, but under Molly's stern gaze, she reluctantly reached out and grabbed a fry, popping it into her mouth. Before she knew it, she'd polished off the remaining fries and had plowed through half of the ribs. Full, she shoved the plate away and glanced up at Molly, who smirked at her.

"That was impressive, Sam." She teased, reaching out to take a rib from Sam's leftovers. Nibbling on it, she studied Sam. Sam arched a brow.

"What? Do I have sauce on my face?" She asked, dabbing at her face self-consciously.

Molly shook her head, looking at her speculatively.

"Nope. Just forming a hypothesis." She said mysteriously.

"Care to share?" Sam asked with a laugh.

"Not yet. I need to do a little more fact gathering." She announced.

Sam laughed and impulsively hugged her close.

"Thank you, Molly. I needed this."

"I'm always here for you. You know us Davis Girls have each other's backs."

"Damn right." Sam agreed, her mind wandering to Krissy. What trouble was she stirring up on Sam's behalf?

…

Krissy shoved the doors open and flounced into the living room, flinging her purse on the closest chair.

She threw a hand out, pointing dramatically at Sonny and Carly, who had been entwined on the couch together, listening to music.

"Dad, how could you be so selfish?" Krissy exclaimed accusatorily.

Sonny sat up, Carly still in his arms. He grinned at Carly, before aiming that grin at his daughter.

"What did I do now?" He asked, dimpling charmingly.

Carly shook her head at him, but couldn't help but smile. She turned towards Sonny's melodramatic oldest daughter and sighed.

"What's going on, Kristina?"

"My father asked Jason to come back to work for him!"

Carly's head snapped towards Sonny.

"Is that true?"

Sonny held his hands up in a shrug.

"Yeah. We built this business together. And now that he remembers who he is, he can come back."

Carly stared at him incredulously, moving away from him.

"Sonny, he almost died working for you! How could you ask him to risk that again? What the hell is wrong with you?" She shouted.

Sonny's playful mood vanished in an instant, his eyes hardening.

"What I do in my business is my business. Don't get involved."

Carly's head reared back and that stubborn look Sonny knew, loved and yet dreaded settled on her face.

"Oh really? After all this time, do you really not know me at all? When have I ever stayed out of your business? Especially where Jason is concerned?"

Sonny shook his head.

"Look, I just made an offer. He didn't have to accept. But I think he's going to."

"Yeah, and neither one of you even thought about what that would do to Sam, did you? You get that Jason, Sam, and Danny are a package deal, right? You're putting my sister in danger!" Krissy yelled angrily.

Sonny looked stunned. How could they blame him if Sam was upset.

"I can't help how Sam feels. She needs to talk to Jason." He said defensively.

Carly stared at him in disgust.

"And you wonder why I don't agree to marry you again. Because you're just as clueless as ever." She sneered, pulling out of his arms and standing up. She looked at Kristina.

"How is Sam?" Carly asked, remembering how hard Jason's passing had been for her and knowing that those memories had to be running around Sam's head right about now.

Kristy shook her head, her eyes welling with tears as the image of Sam's broken cries flashed through her mind.

"Not good."

Carly turned to glare at Sonny.

"You're an ass." She said before putting an arm around Krissy and leading her out of the living room.

Sonny stared after them in a state of shock. How did making a job offer make him a bad guy? He snatched up the tumbler of bourbon and hurled it across the room, where it hit the wall, sending glass and liquor exploding everywhere.

His phone rang and glancing at the display, he smiled.

"Hello?"

He listened for a moment and his grin grew wider.

"Welcome back, Jason."

…

Standing in the living room, Jason put the phone down, wondering how he was going to explain this to Sam. But he needn't have worried. There was a small sound and he looked up and froze. Sam stood in the open doorway, staring at him, her eyes looking like two dark pools set against her pale face. A single tear slipped down her face.

He opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Sam broke eye contact first, her eyes blank and unfocused. She walked inside, dropping her purse on the desk, before moving past him and walking straight to the stairs.

Jason started to reach for her but stopped himself, instead shoving his hands in his pockets. He watched as she climbed the stairs slowly, his heart aching. He didn't know how to make things right. But this was who he was. This was the man she'd fallen in love with. She was just scared. After a little while, she would see there was nothing to worry about, and she'd go back to the old Sam. She'd always accepted his lifestyle. She would again, he told himself.

Still, he didn't like the way things were between them. And he hated seeing that look in Sam's eyes. He needed to hold her in his arms, reassure himself that he wasn't losing her. He took the steps two at a time, and headed to their bedroom. But when he pushed the door open, the bedroom was empty. He looked around, checking the bathroom. Somewhat stunned, Jason turned and walked out of the bathroom and down to the hall's to Danny's room. Turning the knob, he felt like a vise was gripping his heart when he saw Sam curled up beside Danny on his bed.

Padding over silently, he stood over, his heart aching. Needing to see her face, he reached down and brushed her hair away from her face. He froze when he saw the evidence of tears on her face. She'd cried herself to sleep.

He stumbled out of the room, turning away from their bedroom. He couldn't bear to sleep in there without Sam. Instead he went downstairs, grabbed the keys to his bike, and went out the door. He needed some fresh air and distance. It killed him to see what this was doing to Sam. But the minute he'd told Sonny he would work for him again, he'd felt a sense of peace fall over him. It was as if he'd taken control of his life again. He couldn't give that up. Sam would come around. She had to. Because he couldn't lose her.