A/N: I've discovered that it's much easier for me to write angst and drama than it is to write the simple moments of happiness. Lol I need the drama! That being said, we get plenty of that in this chapter.

To me, Sam had always been able to accept Jason's way of life because although he'd been injured many times before, he'd always survived, recovering wildly fast. But then he was shot and kicked into the harbor. Her invincible, strong, God of a husband died and left her alone with a baby to raise.

Now faced with me the possibility of losing him all over again, Sam is having a bit of a delayed PTSD reaction to all of it. That in addition to some other unknown as of yet factors are making her extremely on edge. We'll get to see how Jason's need to reestablish his own sense of purpose and ability to protect himself and his family stands against Sam's fear for her family and desire for a new, less adventurous path. You can love someone with all your heart but that just means you fight that much harder because you're all in.

As always, thanks for the amazing reviews, here and on Twitter. You guys are amazing. Thank you! Happy Reading!

Jen

buttercup0303

Chapter 46

Sam stood at the stove, the wooden spoon in her hands hovering over the pan of scrambled eggs. She was staring at the eggs without seeing them, her mind elsewhere.

"Mommy, I hungwy!" Danny called out from the kitchen doorway, startling her. She jerked and turned to look at him, shooting a weak smile his way.

"It's almost ready, baby. I just have to-damn it!" She glanced down to see the eggs had started to burn while she'd been lost in thought.

"Dammit! Dammit!" Danny exclaimed happily behind her. She spun around, her hand clasped over her mouth, choking back a laugh.

"Danny, no! That's not a nice word. Mommy's sorry she said it."

She turned back to the pan and stared down at the burnt eggs and reached out to snap the burner off. Suddenly furious, she grabbed the pan and threw it in the sink, the loud noise startling Danny. He stared up at her, tears in his eyes.

"I sowwy, Mommy. I won't say dammit anymore." He said, his lower lip trembling. Sam sighed and dropped to her knees in front of him. She gathered him into her arms and squeezed him.

"No, no, baby. Mommy isn't mad at you. She's mad at herself. I burned your eggs and it made me so mad at myself. I was having a temper tantrum."

Danny stared at her and searched her eyes. His beautiful blue eyes cleared up and he grinned that gorgeous grin that just melted her heart.

"Silly Mommy. Burnded my eggs. What we gone eat now?"

Sam let out a chuckle.

"Wanna go to Kelly's and have a nice big breakfast there?"

Danny yelled and started jumping.

"Yay! Daddy come?"

The smile slid off Sam's face. She stood quickly and brushed a hand across Danny's hair.

"Um, I don't know. Daddy-."

"Of course, Daddy's coming. You think I'd miss breakfast with my two favorite people?" Jason announced from behind them. He was smiling at Danny. His eyes lifted to hers, the smile dimming when she shifted her gaze away from him.

Jason wanted nothing more than to walk across that kitchen and pull Sam into his arms, but the distance between them seemed too great. He knew why she was so scared, but he couldn't help but feel hurt and even a little mad that she seemed to have lost faith in his ability to protect himself and their family.

"Is that okay with you?" He asked, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. Sam lifted her head and shot him a forced smile and nodded her head shakily.

"Of course." She said quietly, staring determinedly at Danny, a pit in her stomach. She hated feeling so awkward and uncomfortable around Jason but she couldn't help it. It felt as if he was choosing to work for Sonny over his family, despite knowing how she felt and how scared she was. It was infuriating, but it was also devastating.

"Come on, buddy, let's go get dressed." Sam said, smiling down at Danny.

"I got it. If you don't mind?" Jason offered. Danny's face lit up and Sam couldn't help but nod and wave them off. She watched them head up the stairs, Jason swooping down and swinging Danny up into his arms, making him laugh. She found herself choking back a sudden sob, and pressed her hands against her face. She inhaled deeply, struggling for control.

"Get a grip, Sam." She whispered, shaking her head. She let out a breath and followed them up the stairs, veering off towards the bedroom. She dressed quickly in jeans and a thin sweater, throwing her hair into a ponytail. The thought of spending time with Jason right now made her stomach tighten into knots. She felt a little queasy thinking about how tense things were between them now and pressed a hand against her stomach, willing it to settle. She couldn't let Danny see the tension between his parents. Sighing, she headed downstairs, to find Jason and Danny waiting for her.

Jason had already bundled Danny up in his jacket, so she headed for the door without a word to Jason, grabbing her jacket on the way. But to her surprise, Jason reached out and placed a hand on the door, taking her coat from her. He took her arms and carefully slid her jacket on, leaving his hands resting on her shoulders for a moment. She couldn't help but tense up, and with a sigh, Jason took a step back. Blinking back the tears that always seemed to be just below the surface lately, Sam moved out the door.

The elevator ride was filled with Danny's happy chirping, but the tension between Sam and Jason could be cut with a knife. It only grew thicker when they reached the garage and Sam turned towards their SUV but Jason hesitated. Sam glanced at him questioningly. He cleared his throat and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"I'm, uh, going to take my bike. I have to meet Sonny afterwards." He said stiltedly, holding her gaze steadily. Sam stared at him wordlessly and Jason shifted uneasily at the quiet disappointment in her gaze. What was he doing? He asked himself for a moment. But before he could answer, Sam had turned her back on him.

"Come on, sweetie. Your dad will meet us there. He has to go to work after breakfast." She said quietly, ushering Danny towards the SUV, never looking back at him. Jason watched her pull away before turning and slamming his fist into the concrete wall behind him.

"Damn it!"

…

Sam settled Danny at the table, studiously ignoring the doors. She wouldn't sit there and wait pitifully for Jason to show up, she told herself. She went ahead and ordered for them, and chatted with Danny. She jumped when the chair across from her was dragged back and Jason sat down.

"You okay?" He asked her in concern. Sam nodded, avoiding his eyes.

"I'm fine. I went ahead and ordered." She said curtly, fidgeting with the utensils in front of her.

"I was only five minutes behind you, Sam. You could have waited." He said just as shortly, hurt that she'd decided to eat without him.

Sam's eyes snapped to his, narrowed.

"I know. Which is why I went ahead and ordered. For all of us." She clarified defensively. Why was he being an ass? She wondered angrily. She was the one who had the right to be upset.

Jason closed his eyes briefly, cursing himself for jumping to conclusions. He was just so on edge. He felt like he was walking on eggshells around Sam and he didn't know how to fix the situation. Well, he did, but that solution wasn't an option for him right now.

"Sorry, I thought-." He started, but Sam cut him off.

"It's fine." She said quickly, turning towards Danny and effectively shutting him out. Jason didn't try to talk to her again after that. Breakfast was a stilted, awkward affair. They both joked with Danny and put up a good front for him, but each knew the other was miserable. Neither knew how to fix it.

Suddenly, Sam couldn't take it anymore.

"Danny, why don't you go ask Ms. Bobbie if you can have some chocolate milk?"

Danny's eyes twinkled.

"Choco milk!" He exclaimed happily, jumping up and running towards the counter, his chubby little legs pumping through the air.

Sam smiled after him but when she turned to face Jason, her smile was gone, her face void of all expression.

"I can't do this. I can't sit here and have breakfast with you as if you're not about to go risk your life."

"I'm just meeting with Sonny. There's no danger right now."

Sam's head reared back.

"Oh really? Did you forget that I'm the daughter of Julian Jerome? My aunt Ava is gunning for Sonny and she's coming for his territory. But you have the audacity to look me in my eyes and say there's no danger right now. Are you kidding me?"

Caught, Jason sighed.

"I just meant that it's just a conversation at his compound. I'm not expecting any problems."

Sam nodded, her face a mask of disbelief.

"Like you weren't expecting any trouble on the docks the night you were shot? Jason, you and I both know that trouble will find you as long as you're working for Sonny, whether you're looking for it or not."

Jason stared at her.

"What do you want me to say, Sam?"

"How about that you won't work for Sonny? That Danny and I mean more to you than reclaiming your power? That you choose your family over him!" Sam's voice rose as she spoke, and her hand flew up, pointing towards the door. Sonny, having just strolled in with Michael, paused, staring back at her questioningly.

The atmosphere of the diner seemed to plummet, as other diners' conversations dropped off and people began staring at them. Michael turned to stare at his father.

"Sam, that's not fair." Jason said, stung by her words.

"I don't care." She shot back.

Sonny glanced between them, before walking over quickly.

"Sam. Is there a problem here?" He asked self consciously. It had been a very long time since Sam had looked at him with the kind of hostility she was looking at him with now.

Sam glared up at him.

"Yes, there is. You dragged Jason back into a life that almost cost him his and did cost him years away from us. Years that he can never get back. Could you be more selfish?" She snapped, suddenly enraged.

Before Sonny could reply, Michael was turning to his father.

"Dad? Is this true? You asked Jason to come back to work for you?" Michael's expression matched Sam's perfectly. A mixture of anger and fear, as well as disbelief.

"Son, this is business. It's not something I can discuss." He said dismissively. Michael's expression hardened.

"I'm not a kid anymore, Dad. You can't just brush me off. Answer my question." Michael demanded, shifting so he was standing beside Sam's chair. The tension in Sam's shoulders eased a bit at the realization that Michael was on her side.

"Your father didn't force me to come back to work. I wanted to go back. And I'm not asking for anyone's approval. I make my own decisions. And everyone else will have to learn to accept them." Jason interrupted, his eyes shifting from Michael's to Sam's.

She drew back, stung. Her eyes narrowed.

"Wrong. You don't make your own decisions anymore, Jason. Just like I don't. The minute you took those vows, we became partners. We should be making these kinds of decisions together. But you didn't do that. You made the decision and just expected me to accept it? Well, I don't. I won't." At that, she jumped to her feet, only to stumble slightly against Michael, as the room spun around her.

"Sam!" Jason called out, stretching an arm out over the table towards her.

"Hey, Sam, are you okay?" Michael exclaimed, catching her and steadying her easily. Sam shook her head, sending Michael a grateful look.

"I'm fine. I just stood up too quickly." She said, avoiding Jason's eyes. She patted Michael's arm to let him know she was okay, and moved to the counter to get Danny. She whispered something in his ear and Danny ran over and threw his arms around Michael, and then Sonny. He was a very loved boy, and nothing reminded her more than seeing the Corinthos' men's eyes light up as they hugged him. Wiggling free, Danny flew at Jason. Jason hugged him close, breathing in his clean scent, needing comfort.

"Bye, Daddy!" He said, giving him a wet, smacking kiss on the cheek before running back to Sam. Sam gave Michael a little wave and walked past Jason and Sonny, ignoring them. Jason watched her with concern. Sonny reached out and stopped her, shaking his head as he stared at her sadly.

"Sam, what's going on? I thought we were friends? No, I thought we were family." He said, a wounded look in his eyes.

Sam glanced up at him wearily, her eyes shining with emotion.

"That's what I thought too, Sonny. But a friend, no, a family member? Wouldn't have been able to ask Jason to come back to work, risking his life, after seeing how I suffered when I thought he was dead. How I dove for hours looking for his body, how I cried on your shoulder for the man we both lost. Yeah, I thought we were family too, Sonny. I guess we were both wrong."

With those words, she ushered Danny out the door. Sonny stared after her before turning to Jason.

"She's right. I never should have asked you to come back to work for me. But I need you more than ever. What was I supposed to do?" Sonny asked, genuinely confused.

Michael shook his head.

"You were supposed to be a man and deal with it on your own." Michael said cuttingly, shoving past his father. He stopped and looked down at Jason.

"You know, I've always respected you. Until today."

Jason stared up at him in shock.

"Michael…"

Michael just shook his head. "Sam and Danny deserve better." He strode out of the diner without another word.

Sonny dropped into the seat across from Jason, picking at the bacon Sam had left on her plate. In fact, she hadn't eaten at all, Jason noticed with concern.

"Well, damn. What are you going to do?"

Jason paused for a minute, before raising icy blue eyes to meet Sonny's.

"I thought we were meeting at the compound."

Sonny shook his head.

"Ava is supposed to pick up Avery today, and I didn't want that vulture overhearing anything we were talking about. Look, are you sure you want to do this? I can figure something else out and you go work things out with Sam."

Jason ignored him.

"Tell me about tonight's shipment."

Sonny grinned at his best friend and launched into the details.

...

Sam paced back and forth in her apartment, unable to settle her nerves. Michael watched her from the couch, concerned.

"Sam, are you sure you don't want to go to the doctor? I can stay with Danny." He offered, glancing down at where Danny played beside him.

Sam shook her head, sending him a grateful smile.

"Michael, I'm fine. I told you, I just got up too fast. And you didn't have to come over."

Michael looks sheepish.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have invited myself over. I can leave." He said, a little embarrassed. He started to shove himself up but Sam rushed over and pressed his shoulder back down.

"Don't be silly, Michael. You're always welcome here. Danny and I love seeing you. I just meant that if you were worried about me, you don't have to be."

Michael nodded but didn't seem convinced. He glanced down and noticed Danny yawning widely.

"Hey, I'm gonna take Danny upstairs and settle him down for a nap. Can we talk afterwards?" He asked quietly. Sam nodded gratefully, and plopped down on the couch as Michael scooped Danny into his arms and carried him upstairs, tickling him the whole way.

Sam smiled and leaned her head back, closing her eyes for a moment.

…

Jason stood on the docks, talking to the men, directing them where he wanted them for the shipment. They were the same men who had been part of the crew for years, and it was easy to fall back into his role.

"Alright, get into positions." He watched as everyone nodded respectfully and moved quickly into their positions. Nodding in satisfaction, he turned and looked out over the water.

The shipment should be here soon. Alert, he scanned the docks and the water, looking for anything that seemed out of place. His instincts were as strong as ever, so he trusted that he'd know if things were about to take a turn.

"Morgan, incoming!" One of his guys called out, pointing to a dark spot across the harbor. Jason nodded, widening his stance as he waited for the ship to pull into port.

As it grew larger against the horizon, a slight chill crept up Jason's spine. Stiffening, he spun around and to the left just as a knife was swinging down towards his back. Shouts of alarm sounded behind him, but Jason zeroed in his attention on the man wielding the wickedly long knife. His quick reflexes saved him from the killing blow, but he wasn't quick enough to avoid injury. He felt the fiery pain of the knife slashing down his shoulder and through his flesh, before embedding in his bone.

However, he didn't flinch nor stop moving. He allowed his momentum to swing him around as he reached up and grabbed his assailants arm and yanked him forward. The man yelped as he was launched forward, only to be yanked back as Jason put him in a chokehold.

Jason shoved him back against the wall and stared at his attacker, shock flaring through him. Still, he showed no reaction.

"Why?"

Cody, one of Sonny's most loyal men glared up at Jason, hatred burning in his eyes. Jason barely contained his surprise. They had been comrades in arms for over ten years, and had great respect for each other. Or so Jason had thought.

"You think you can just stroll back here all these years later and reclaim your position? I busted my ass after you died and Mr. C finally was about to give me a chance. Then all of a sudden you want back in, and it's so long Cody. Screw that! Screw you!" He shouted, his voice cracking in his fury.

Jason shook his head in disbelief.

"You tried to kill me because I came back to work? Cody, we've worked together for over a decade. You've saved my life just as many times as I've saved yours. If you wanted to move up the ranks, all you had to do was talk to stupid son of a bitch, did you think Sonny would welcome you with open arms after you killed me?" Jason shook his head again, because it was such a waste.

Sonny would never let Cody live now. He blinked as spots started flashing in front of his eyes. Blood loss, he thought to himself, grimacing down at the wound that was now burning like fire. His arm was soaked with blood, dripping down to his fingertips, and splashing on the ground beside him.

Jason thought of Sam's reaction to his injury. If she'd been scared before, he didn't want to imagine how she'd react. She'd been terrified one of his enemies would come after him. Now she'd be scared of his own men coming after him too.

With a growl of annoyance, Jason shoved the man back against the wall again and slammed his fist into his face. Cody groaned and slumped to the ground, losing consciousness. Jason whirled to face the rest of their team.

"Anyone else feel the way Cody did? Do any of you have answering to me?" He barked out in challenge. The men all rushed to assure him of their loyalty, several rushing forward out of concern for his injury.

Refusing to show weakness, he waved them off and and ordered them to take positions again, while two of the men carried Cody off to face Sonny. The men looked at each other in awe as Jason yanked the knife out of his arm without making a sound or showing any sign that he was in pain.

Gritting his teeth against the agony ripping through him, Jason eased his jacket off and bunched up against his wound to stave off the bleeding. He waited with the men as the ship finally made dock, and the crates were unloaded. Sweat beaded on his forehead and upper lip as he made sure everything went smoothly.

His face grew pale, his vision beginning to blur, and he thought of Sam. What the hell am I doing? Why am I risking my life? For the sake of my reputation? He suddenly questioned himself in disgust.

"Someone get Max over here. Let him know I've been hurt and I need him here now." He shouted out. Except his voice came out weak, and no one moved. He took a step and stumbled, only to feel himself held upright.

"Don't worry, I got you buddy." Max's genial voice sounded beside him.

"One of the guys called us as soon as it happened. We were just waiting for you to quit being so stubborn." Milo said from his other side in his usual guileless way.

"Don't take me home. Sam can't see me like this." He whispered, before he finally gave into the darkness pulling him under. As Jason's full weight fell against him, Max grunted, but held him steady. He glanced up at Milo.

"But Mrs. C said to take him straight to Sam." Max worried out loud.

Milo grimaced.

"I'd rather face Jason's wrath than Mrs. C's." Milo admitted without shame.

Blanching at the thought of Carly's rage, Max quickly nodded, wishing Carly hadn't been standing there when he's gotten the call about Jason.

...

"Sam? Sam?"

Sam blinked blearily, looking around disorientedly.

Michael was shaking her awake.

"Sam? Sam, you okay?" He asked anxiously.

Sam straightened up, nodding her head as she shoved some loose tendrils out of her face.

"Sorry, I must have dozed off for a minute. I'm okay." She said sleepily. She hadn't even realized how tired she'd been.

"A minute? Sam, you've been sleeping for almost seven hours." Michael said, worry etched on his face.

Sam sat up straighter, shocked.

"I didn't?" She asked, glancing at the clock.

Michael sat on the coffee table in front of her and leaned forward, looking troubled.

"Yeah. I came down after settling Danny, and you were out like a light. You looked like you could use the sleep, so I just hung out and worked a little from here. When Danny woke up, we tried to wake you up, but you wouldn't get up. I tried calling Jason, but he didn't answer. Eventually, I called Grandmother and she came to check on you."

"Monica was here?" She asked self-consciously, wondering what the hell was going on with her.

"You slept right through her exam. She took your vitals. She said it seemed like a case of exhaustion. She took Danny home with her for the night, and I offered to stay with you until Jason got home. I thought he'd be here by now." Frustration sounded in his voice.

Sam was still in a little shock.

"Wow. I better call Monica and thank her. And you, Michael. Thanks for taking care of me and Danny today. I didn't realize how tired I was but I guess I haven't been sleeping well lately."

Michael's eyes narrowed.

"I'm sure Jason going back to work for my dad isn't helping."

Sam laughed weakly.

"Not exactly."

She glanced at the clock again.

"He said he'd be home by dinner but it's almost midnight. You haven't heard from him yet?" She asked, trying to hide the fear crawling up her spine. Michael tried not to let his own worry into his voice. Sam looked terrified enough for the both of them. In fact, he was almost more worried about her than Jason. She'd always handled this side of Jason's life so well. She looked on the verge of falling apart right now, though.

"No, but that doesn't mean anything. I'm sure he's fine, Sam." He sounded less convinced than Sam looked though.

Sam climbed to her feet, once again beset with dizziness. She stood still, setting her feet and refusing to let Michael see it. She had to start taking better care of herself, she thought determinedly. Danny already had one parent taking risks with his health he didn't need another.

Just then, there was pounding on the door. Sam and Michael glanced at each other in alarm. Sam hurried forward and looked out the peephole.

"Sam! Open up!" Carly's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Carly?" She said questioningly, swinging open the door. Carly barged in, her face serious.

"Mom? What are you doing here so late? What's going on?" Michael asked quickly. Carly's brow furrowed as she turned to Sam.

"Sam, it's-." But she didn't get to finish her sentence when the still open door suddenly slammed against the wall.

Sam spun around to face the noise and cried out, stumbling back at what she saw.

"Jason!" She choked out as Max and Milo staggered in, carrying an unconscious and blood-soaked Jason in their arms.

"Jason!" Michael shouted, rushing forward to help them.

As they laid him on the couch, Sam stared in horror, the noise in the room going tinny and seeming to shrink around her, her breathing labored.

Carly stared at Sam in concern, noting how pale she was, how unfocused her eyes were. She moved closer.

"Sam?" She called in concern. But Sam didn't seem to hear her. Carly cried out when Sam moaned and sank to the ground.

Sam didn't hear Carly cry her name. She was trapped inside her own mind, reliving the most painful moment of her life as she stared at Jason. She was watching her worst nightmare come to life. She was losing her husband all over again.