*Nine*Months*Earlier*
Connor sat in the back upper corner of the classroom, looking down at the professor who was fiddling with their laptop. He looked down at the clean piece of paper in front of him. On the left hand side, he labelled it: CLST. On the other side, he wrote the date: Monday, September 7th.
First class of his first term in his new university.
Connor checked his cell phone time as the large lecture hall began to fill. Class was to start in two minutes. Nervously, Connor glanced at the seat beside him. He hoped no one took it, but this was a large school and the first day of classes. He wouldn't be able to keep a buffer here, not like he wanted to. Not like he needed to. Connor needed a buffer now. He leant into the wall on his left as the last burst of stragglers tumbled into the room.
Connor audibly sighed in relief as the spot next to him remained empty. For now, at least, people were sitting toward the front.
"My name is Kroger," said the long haired figure at the front. "I get this question every year so I'm just going to get to the point now and I will not be answering any further questions on it. My pronouns are they/them, I don't care if you think you can guess what my genitalia is and use the 'proper' pronouns, use 'they/them'. Professor Kroger is a little formal, so feel free to call me 'Kroger'. If you find that Kroger is too much of a mouthful, you can also called me 'Jay'. But, to the point: it's first day and that means, syllabus nonsense! I'm sure you're all very excited. I don't like killing trees, so the syllabus is available online only. If that's a problem, come talk to me after class."
Kroger lapsed into their grading expectations someone sat down next to Connor. He gripped his pen tightly and focused on scribbling doodles in the margin. Kroger hadn't said anything worth taking note of yet.
"Hey," the man who had sat down next to him leant toward him.
Connor shifted slightly more toward the wall. Personal space, he wanted to say, though he knew it wouldn't be fair of him to. The seats in the lecture hall were situation close together as it was.
"Hey," Connor finally replied. Had that been too long of a pause? That had been too long of a pause.
"Did I miss anything?"
Connor shook his head.
"Thanks." The man relaxed back into his seat, staring at the screens ahead.
Kroger took up less than half the allotted lecture time.
"I'm not here to waste the time you paid for," they assured the class, "But, today, I'll make an exception. It'll give you a chance to pick up the required books!"
Connor folded up his notebook and placed it carefully in his messenger bag. He pulled his cellphone out and checked it, trying to delay leaving so that he didn't get caught in the crowd. He had one text, from the only person who ever texted him.
Dad: How's the first day going?
Connor: I'll call you when it's over.
He put his cellphone in his pocket and looked around. There were seven people left in the room: Kroger, four students clustered around them, Connor, and the man next to him. The man was also blocking his way out; his long legs were crowded awkwardly in the small aisle space.
"Am I in your way?" the man asked suddenly, looking up from his phone.
"No," Connor lied. He wouldn't want to be a nuisance.
In a few more seconds, the man had grabbed his backpack and was out the door. Connor let out a heavy sigh and carefully put his bag over his shoulder. He had an hour and a half to get to statistics.
(-.-)
Connor unlocked the door to his small dorm and then rushed inside. He shut the door behind him and immediately locked it behind him. He swept inside the tiny bathroom and then back out. The rest of his room was immediately visible to his eye but Connor still didn't breathe until he checked that the window was still locked.
Connor put his back to the wall and looked around the room. He had only lived here for three days. It was called a nano room and everything he needed was located within it; everything was practically in arm's reach. He had his own bathroom and his own tiny kitchen. His bed folded up and his desk folded out from underneath of it. Connor knew that some would have found it claustrophobic, but it made Connor feel better.
He put his phone down on the sliver of counter space next to his two burners. He called his father, Adam, and put it on speaker.
His father picked up on the first ring. "I thought your classes ended at three today."
"They do."
"It's three-thirty," Adam noted.
"I'm calling from my dorm. It took me longer to walk back than I thought it would. This campus is big."
"Too big?" You can always transfer home again –"
"No!"
"I'm sorry. I just meant, if it's not the place for you, we'll find the place that is."
Connor flipped his bed up and the fat board that was his desk slid out.
"Are you there?"
"Yeah, Dad. Um, I haven't given this place a chance yet. I should give it a chance."
He unpacked his notebooks and stacked them on his desk. Then, he fetched his newly purchased textbooks from the bag on the floor. He stacked them on the other side of his desk.
"You're right," Adam agreed. "So, how did the classes go? How are your professors?"
"I like my professors. They all seem to know what they're talk about. Although, I don't like that I have to take statistics again."
"You did pick a school that you knew wasn't going to take most of the credits you already got," Adam pointed out.
"I know," Connor said. He moved his chair over in front of the desk, but he didn't sit. Instead, he decided to make himself a sandwich.
"What about the other students? Did you meet any friends?"
"No." He felt like a five-year-old being interviewed after their first day of school ever. "But it was only an introductory day. I know we're getting groups in one of my business classes next week."
"What about clubs? Or a sports team?"
Connor briefly considered lying to Adam. After all, he was good at it by now. But he had promised he wouldn't anymore. "I don't think so. It would be too much."
"You can't hide forever."
Connor stayed silent. January to September wasn't forever.
"Maybe second term." Adam sighed.
"Maybe," Connor agreed.
"You were always good at baseball," Adam added.
"I haven't played since I was fourteen … fifteen?" Connor reminded him. "I'm way out of shape."
"You could join a gym," Adam suggested. "I'm sure there's at least one on campus."
Connor dropped the top slice of bread onto his finished sandwich. "That's actually not a bad idea."
"You should try it!" Adam's optimism sounded forced. When he spoke again, he just sounded tired. "I just want you to be happy there, Connor. Do you think you will be?"
Connor paused, really trying to think about it. It was impossible to answer one way or another. He didn't know. He couldn't know. He settled on saying, "Happier here than I would be at home." That, at least, was true.
Adam sighed again. "That doesn't tell me much."
"I know. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, Connor. That's not something you have to apologize for."
"Oh. All right." He would try and remember that.
"I know you're doing your best. That's what matters most to me."
"I'm trying, Dad. I'm really trying."
"Good. I'm proud of you."
"Thank you," Connor said, though he wondered why his father would be proud of him.
"I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you."
"You too. Bye."
"Bye, Connor."
He waited for Adam to hang up first, then he laced his cell phone on his desk. He fetched a bottle of lemon water and sat down with his food. He opened one of his newly purchased textbooks and began to read.
Beyond his closed blinds and locked window with the sill lined with cactuses, below his room on the eleventh floor, other students met and laughed and enjoyed themselves in the bright sunshine, but Connor didn't think of them or the world at large. It was nice and easy to stay locked up in his room, reading ahead in his textbooks until it was time to go to sleep, so it was exactly what he did.
(-.-)
Jude Adams-Foster cursed and then he cursed again. He rubbed his hand across the worn material of his steering wheel, as if he his car would respond to love.
"Come on, come on, come on," Jude urged, trying his key again.
He was too late to catch the bus. He'd been late on Monday. He couldn't be late again on Wednesday too. Kroger had a reputation of being both a good prof and an all-knowing hard-ass. The last thing Jude wanted to do was get on their bad side this early in the term.
"Come on!" Jude snapped at the car. Then, "Please, please, please, please, please, please, please."
Pathetic begging was clearly the key this morning, because the car started up with a suffering groan. Jude didn't stop to celebrate; he just threw the car in drive and raced through the usually fifteen minute drive to campus. He found a parking space near his first class and darted off. He made it into the lecture hall with a minute to spare. The chair beside the hot guy he'd sat next to on Monday was open again. Jude dropped into it, glancing at the cute boy who was staring down at his notebook.
Jude was going to talk to him today. Really, he was.
Kroger wasted no time in beginning the lecture. At precisely eleven a.m., they were off and talking about the ancient Greek's creation story.
"In the beginning, there was chaos," Kroger said.
"Isn't that how all stories start?" Jude muttered.
The man next to him didn't respond, but there was a little smirk on as face. Jude decided that, as good as he looked now, with his strong jaw and shaggy hair, he would look much better if he smiled. Jude would love to see him smile.
The class didn't feel like it was fifty minutes long. Between deciding whether to laugh or groan at Kroger's badly placed history jokes and trying not to stare at the guy (though he was failing miserable; he was hot and Jude's self-control was weak), the class blurred by. Jude had managed to take plenty of notes, and he happily stuffed his notebook away.
"Hey," Jude said, turning to the guy, who was packing up. "I'm Jude."
The guy looked up, studying him. His eyes looked olive green in this light.
"I'm Connor," he finally said.
Connor. It fit.
"Do you have a class now?" Jude asked, deciding to roll with his courage while he had it. He wasn't always good at starting conversations with new people.
"Um, no. Well, at one."
"Oh, same! Do you want to grab lunch?"
Connor was just staring at him, and Jude began to doubt himself. Clearly, Connor was thinking he was some kind of idiot. Connor probably had friends he was going to eat lunch with. Or he thought Jude was creepy. Oh, God, had he noticed the way Jude was staring at him? He really hadn't been trying to be weird; and he really did want to have a real conversation with him. Jude wasn't a person who just wanted physical. He supposed, though, that he might have been coming off that way. He abruptly arrived at the conclusion that he should've just talked to Connor in class.
"Okay," Connor said.
"Really?"
"Unless you don't want to," Connor blurted.
"No, I just asked. Why wouldn't I want to?" Jude smiled, but Connor didn't imitate the expression. "Ready?"
"Y-yeah."
Connor slung his bag over his shoulder and Jude got caught up in his arm muscles before reminding himself to act like a normal person. It didn't matter what Connor looked like, it was beyond rude to stare at him like he wasn't a person. Again, Jude thought of how he had never gotten caught up in a person's looks like this before. He'd seen hot people before. He wasn't blind and he had sex drive. There was just something about the entirety of Connor that made him want to lose his mind a little bit. Jude would have wanted to talk to the guy anyway, but now he had a little more drive to do it. He'd never felt an attraction so strong before.
Jude led Connor out of their lecture hall and out of the building.
"Do you have a lunch or do you need to buy?"
"I have one."
"I was running late, so I need to buy. Okay to walk down to the pizza place?"
"Yeah, sure."
They weaved through the throng of students, tumbling off in each direction. Jude fished around for something to say. Connor didn't seem that talkative.
"What's your major?"
"Business. You?"
"Psych. I wasn't sure what I wanted to go into … I'm still not sure what I want to do," Jude admitted. "But, psych is one of those things can go in a couple of directions."
"Oh. Um, what year are you?"
"Third. How about you?"
"Second. By this school's standard."
"This school?" Jude repeated.
"It's my first term here," Connor said.
Jude held the door to the crowded pizza place open. Connor slipped inside and waited for Jude so that they could stand in line together. As they followed the queue, Jude asked, "Why switch?"
"Needed a change."
He said it so quickly that Jude immediately backed away from the topic. He could understand not wanting to talk about something.
"Why'd you take Kroger's class?" Jude asked. He thought that it would be a topic that was okay to talk about. He didn't want to bother Connor during their first conversation because he wanted to have another conversation after this one and then, hopefully, another conversation after that.
"I don't get many electives. But that class seemed fun. And everyone seemed to like Kroger. What about you?"
Jude waited to answer as he ordered his pizza. He swiped his student card, picked up his slice, and then he and Connor dropped into an empty table next to the windows. Connor pulled out a sandwich, an apple, and a bottle of water. As he began to eat, Jude resumed the conversation.
"I took Kroger's class because it'll be easy." He bent the side of his paper plate. He was always a little nervous admitting this to strangers for the first time. "My ex-boyfriend was really into mythology, particularly Greek and Roman stuff. I figured that I picked up on enough to pass Kroger's class without much effort."
"Your ex-boyfriend?" Connor exclaimed.
Jude felt his stomach drop and his heart pick up speed. Was he homophobic? Or was he just one of those people who hadn't ever run into a gay person before?
"Yes," Jude said, trying not to overreact. He hated that his sexuality was still a big deal. He picked up his pizza. "I'm gay."
Connor blinked, then he focused on his sandwich. Jude watched him carefully, waiting to see what he would do. Connor didn't do anything, though, not until he had finished his sandwich. After that, he picked up his apple. He twisted it in his hands a few times and then he plucked the stem out. He rolled the apple between his palms and he didn't look back up at Jude.
Still, he clearly said, "My ex-boyfriend would have hated a class like this."
His ex-boyfriend.
"Well," Jude said, "It takes all kinds."
Connor stuck his nail into the flesh of his apple. "C-can we not talk about it?"
"Sure," Jude said. He didn't really know Connor well enough to attempt to pry. "I'd rather talk about you than your ex anyway."
"I'm not that interesting," Connor said.
"Well, I don't know if I believe that," Jude said.
"You'll find out."
Jude watched as Connor took a bite of his apple.
"If we become friends I will," Jude said.
"Friends?" Connor repeated.
He looked surprised, which Jude didn't understand at all. He teased, "What did you think I was aiming for?"
Connor didn't laugh. He lapsed into an awkward silence.
Jude drummed his fingers on the tabletop. He wanted to say something; he wanted to talk to him. He didn't think Connor was bland or boring, but he clearly wasn't easy to know. It would be easy to give up on Connor. They'd had one lunch and half a conversation; it wouldn't be a huge loss to either of them if they never spoke again. Jude found himself talking again.
"Do you know many people here?"
"No one."
He needed a friend. He looked lonely.
"Do you want to go for a walk around campus?" Jude asked. "I can show you some interesting places. I lived on campus my first year so I know some good places to study."
"All right. Let's walk."
They dumped their trash and were out the doors. Jude decided to take him around the main library first, as it was close, and it was an attractive building.
"Do you still live on campus?" Connor asked.
"No. I've got a basement apartment. I live by myself now, which is strange. It's my first year living completely on my own and it's strange."
"Why not have a roommate?"
"I found the place cheap and it's literally one room and a bathroom. I know some people here, but no one that I know well enough to want to live with."
"Oh."
"Do you have a roommate this year?"
Connor shook his head.
"What residence are you in?"
"Nano residence."
"Ooh, the new ones. Fancy."
As they walked around campus, Jude asked a few more questions. Connor was an only child; his mother had passed away just before he turned fourteen from breast cancer; and he liked to study a lot. Connor asked some of his own questions, and Jude was more than happy to share. He walked Connor to his next class before rushing off to his own health psychology lecture. Jude felt satisfied and unsatisfied at the same time. Connor was hard to talk to, if only because he seemed very closed off. Jude stood by his assessment that Connor was lonely, and Jude really did hope that the two of them could be friends.
At the very least, Jude was going to talk to him again on Friday.
First official chapter! Let's go! The chapter's title is after the song Just A Step Away by Carly Rae Jepsen! If you have a song that reminds you of Barefoot And Bruised and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions!
So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.
~TLL~