Jude hadn't known what to expect when he sat down next to Connor the next day in class. Connor greeted him with a smile and a soft hello and nothing seemed any different than it had been since they'd met as they sat through Kroger's lecture. It bugged Jude a little bit. He thought things should seem a little different. They'd kissed. And though he'd tried to pretend otherwise, he had fallen asleep convinced that he and Connor were more friends now. It crushed him to think that he was wrong. Connor had kissed him and he had kissed Connor but Connor had decided that they were only friends. Jude couldn't help the dour mood that overcame him through the course of lecture. He was sulky and quiet, even as he and Connor went to find a bench to eat lunch on. Connor sat close, but he was silent too as they dug out their food.

"Um, I …" Connor started.

He hesitated again and Jude felt terrible. He knew that Connor was only reacting to his mood but Jude couldn't force himself to be cheerful and upbeat. He just didn't feel it right now.

Connor collected himself. "On my way to class, I saw a guy with a big moustache. He had it curled on the ends. I didn't know anyone who still did that … Isn't that funny?"

"Yeah," Jude said, and then he sighed. "Sorry, Connor."

"If I'm allowed to be sad then you're allowed to be sad," Connor said. "Can I help?"

"Maybe."

Connor straightened up. "Tell me. Please."

"Just this: are we friends? Only friends?"

"Oh."

Jude's heart sunk as Connor tucked his hands into his lap, clenching them tightly together. Connor had his head bowed. They were only friends. It was ridiculous for Jude's heart to feel like it was breaking, but that's what he felt. He had only known Connor a month, had only kissed him twice, and yet, Jude had liked him so much. Jude had felt so invested in the relationship that never was … and would never be.

"I don't … I don't think so. I'm not in a … in a good enough place to say I can be in a relationship. I'm not ready. And, like I said yesterday, my feelings get so confused and sometimes it's hard for me to figure it out. B-but I don't think that I want you to only be my friend."

"We can take it slow," Jude said in a rush. "Whatever pace you need. I'm here for that and for you. I just … want to be with you as more than a friend."

Connor let out a little whimper. "With me. What do you expect from me?"

"Not sex. Not yet. I don't think we're ready to talk about that," Jude quickly assured him. "I just meant that I want to know you feel more than friendship. I like holding your hand and talking to you and cuddling with you and watching movies and if you wanted to kiss me again, I'd be okay with that."

Connor looked up at him and smiled. "I like the sound of all of that."

Jude reached for his hand, but Connor tucked them into his lap.

"Jude, not … not in public, okay? Not yet."

"I understand."

"I didn't upset you, did you? I don't want to let you down, Jude. Please, I'm sorry."

"Connor, it's okay. Really. We'll figure it out."

Jude just felt relief that Connor wanted to be with him. He could feel the pieces of his heart knit themselves back together. Connor wanted to try.

"Can we see each other this weekend?" Connor asked.

"Sunday? I'm going home tonight and most of Saturday and then I work Saturday night."

Connor nodded. "You know I don't do anything."

"Okay, Sunday," Jude agreed. "Do you want to meet kind of early? I know a really good place that does Sunday brunch."

"How early?"

"Oh, you like to sleep late?" Jude teased. "Maybe eleven or eleven-thirty. I actually work until like six a.m. or something so I need a few hours of sleep."

"Okay, I'll be ready. Have fun at home."

"I'll probably text you if you don't mind," Jude said. "There's no reason why I shouldn't spread their antics as best as I can."

"You don't need to text me while spending time with your family."

"Oh, not while we're out or anything. But, you know, if we're all crammed on the couch and they're all texting someone there's no reason I can't too."

"I won't be doing anything exciting."

"You can send me pictures of whatever movie you're watching. You don't need to be thrilling all the time for me to like talking to you."

"I'll send you Grumpy Cat photos whenever the conversation dies," Connor promised.

Jude laughed. "Then you'll definitely be the more interesting half of the conversation."

Connor didn't look like he believed it.

"Did you see anything else interesting on your way to class?"

"No," Connor said. "But it's always interesting here. Always people doing something. It's nice to see people so willing to be weird or strange or exactly who they are. It's nice to know that they feel comfortable enough here to do that."

"What kind of things do you mean?" Jude asked.

He leant his arm on the back of the bench and propped his chin up on his hand. Connor echoed his pose and they tilted toward one another, their knees touching.

"Like … people in onesies or boys in dresses or people with bright pink hair or guys on unicycles or whatever or gay people holding hands. It's not perfect out in the world, I know that, but it's nice to think of the campus as this safe accepting bubble where it doesn't matter because we're all just weird students." Connor went red. "It's stupid, I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk like that."

"No, I like it. You're right. It's a nice thought. I like to hear your thoughts, Connor."

Connor nudged his knee. "I think it's almost time for our next class."

Jude sighed and checked the time. "Yeah, you're right."

"Walk me to class?" Connor asked, as if Jude didn't do it every time.

"I wouldn't miss five more minutes with you," Jude said. He'd meant it to be light, perhaps even flirty – though he had so little experience with flirting. It wasn't how Connor took it. An uneasy expression crossed his face. "Just because I like spending time with you. I can spend five minutes away from you. I don't need to talk to you all the time. If you just want to spend time away from each other that's fine too. I'm not like that."

Connor nodded shallowly. "I just … Thinking about it, this is fast already. I feel like I want this to be right. I just need to get there slowly."

"I know. You don't need to worry about that with me. If you want to take more time or slow it down or go a little backward that's okay. It's not working if we're both not comfortable."

Connor didn't reply. He picked up his back pack and Jude thought that Connor was going to leave him sitting on the bench by himself. Connor glanced over at him.

"Are you going to walk me to class?"

Jude grinned and pulled his bag over his shoulder. He walked Connor to his next class and bid him goodbye, and then he went off to his next classes. He made it through the afternoon all right. As soon as his final class was dismissed, Jude got into Gerald and started driving for home. He rolled the window down and turned the radio up, feeling happy as he made it down the highway. He couldn't have asked for his conversation with Connor to have gone any better than it had. He didn't officially have a boyfriend but his new friend was a little more than a friend and Jude's heart could have sung about it.

Jude's sense of timing about how long it would take him to get to the restaurant Callie had chosen for her celebration dinner was off and he found a space in the parking lot ten minutes after their reservation time. He rushed into the restaurant and found his family surrounding a long table. Stef spotted him first and Jude made sure to hug both of his mothers before doing anything else.

"You're not that late, we just sat down a few minutes ago." Lena pecked at his cheek.

Jude took his seat between Jesus and Lena, across from Callie.

"How's the job?" Jude asked. "Now that you've been at it for a couple weeks."

"Oh, it's … fun. The people I work with are really great and it's a small staff so it's like a whole other family."

"Because we all need more family members," Jesus quipped.

Callie laughed. "But it's good. I'm doing a little bit of everything and follow all the reporters they have. If they need pictures taken of a ball game, I go take pictures of a ball game. If they want pictures taken of squirrels in the park, I go take pictures of squirrels in the park."

"Soon you'll be world famous and taking pictures for some newspaper everyone's heard of," Mariana said.

"Whether it's just a stepping stone or not, it's what's most important right now," Callie said seriously.

"Enjoy the moment," Stef said.

"Let's enjoy ordering," Brandon said. "I'm starving."

"For once, he's saying something sensible," Jesus said.

Brandon snorted but, wisely, decided not to comment.

Jude opened his menu, quickly perusing the options. He felt like he'd been eating out a lot recently with Connor. He decided that cooking dates were definitely in their future and that, this time, he'd help Connor out rather than just watching him make another shrimp bake. Just thinking of the shrimp bake made Jude's mouth water and he forced himself to refocus on the list of burgers in front of him. He would not be getting Connor's shrimp bake tonight. He decided on a Cajun chicken burger and then he closed his menu.

Jude looked up as Mariana and Jesus began to snipe happily at one another. Jesus was teasing her for being an old student, though Mariana was a grad student now, deciding that she wasn't satisfied with just her bachelor's degree in computer graphics design. She was teasing him in return for being scared off school so easily, even though all of them had been encouraged on to university and had done fairly well.

"What about you, Jude?" Callie asked. "I feel like we don't talk as much when you're at school."

"Same old," Jude said. Connor's name flitted around on the tip of his tongue but he kept it to himself. He didn't want to jinx it just yet. "Class, work. I'm still happy there, though."

"Thought about life after you graduate?" Callie asked.

"Nope," Jude said. "I know I need to think more on it. I'll figure it out. I'll just have to start crashing into my advisor's office more until I figure it out. I have another year, though, at least. Assuming I get all my credits in."

"Don't feel bad about needing to take more time. Better to do it right and do your best," Stef said.

"Yes, Mom."

Stef smiled at him and Jude relaxed back into his seat, sipping at his water glass. No matter how old any of them got, when it was just him, his four siblings, and his two mothers around a table, they all fell back into their old roles. It was always comforting for Jude to go home to light-hearted bickering and old stories. Even when some of them were actually fighting and not bickering, they were still family. Jude liked being out on his own in his apartment, but sometimes he missed living at home.

They all toasted to Callie before they started to eat, each of them taking care to clink their glasses against everyone else's. Mariana joked about Callie texting a boyfriend, though Callie said that it was just her boss, which led to some poking fun at relationship statuses.

"Moms are the only ones of us who have one," Jesus teased.

It was true, Jude realized. Mariana was too deep into her studies to make time for a relationship; Jesus had been in love with a girl last year who had left him and he hadn't dated since; Brandon had been casually dating someone but Jude hadn't heard her mentioned since he went back to school; and Callie was just single. Jude had Connor, but Connor wasn't a boyfriend. Jude wasn't about to classify him as a relationship just yet either. That would be definitely getting ahead of himself.

"Something on your mind, Judicorn?" Mariana called.

Jude met his sister's gaze. "Just that I missed you."

"You're so cute," Mariana gushed.

"That's because he's related to me," Callie said quickly.

It was wonderful that family didn't change.

Jude didn't speak much throughout dinner; his siblings kept up most of the banter, with Moms interjecting every now and again. He just liked to listen to Mariana try to explain her thesis while Jesus talked about the annoying guy in the cubicle next to him. It seemed like it had been ten minutes, not two hours, since Jude had sat down. It was always a little bittersweet to hug his siblings goodbye, though he knew that it wouldn't be long before he saw them again. It was just strange that they had apartments that they would all be driving back to tonight, where he was the only ones that would be following his parents' home to sleep in his old bed.

He parked Gerald behind Stef's and Lena's car and followed them up to the front door. Walking inside, it seemed impossible that Jude hadn't walked in here until the year he turned thirteen. It seemed like this house had been his house forever.

"I'm going to go up to bed, love," Stef said. "I had an early morning. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Jude gave her a kiss goodnight.

"I think I'll stay down here with you," Lena decided.

"Are you sure? You're getting up there, Mom. Maybe you need to go to bed at eight-thirty too."

"Shh," Lena said. "I'm going to make tea. Do you want some?"

Jude agreed and followed Lena into the kitchen. He took a seat at the island as she filled the kettle with water to boil. He propped his elbows on the island and settled his head in his hands.

"Something on your mind?" Lena asked.

"Maybe," Jude admitted.

"Want to talk about it?"

"I met a boy."

Lena turned her head to grin at him, her dark curls bobbing about her head. "At school?"

"In my Greek mythology class."

"How's it going? Does he like you back?"

"He kissed me. But it's … kind of complicated."

This made Lena pause. She dropped tea bags into two mugs. "Relationships that are complicated from the start don't tend to get easier. Is he with someone else?"

"No, not technically." Jude took a deep breath. It was only to a parent that he would give Connor's secrets. "His last boyfriend was abusive. They were together for years. He was fifteen and his boyfriend was twenty-three! And … he's trying. He likes me, he told me, but it's just … a lot. There are times when I know he's thinking about his ex and I can't stop it. I can't make it better. And it's not like I can force him to focus on the here and now. He told me that he and his ex broke up in December and that's not that long to get over something like that."

"Oh, Jude." Lena slid a mug in front of him and took the seat next to him. "You're right, that is a lot. You've only known this boy for, what, a month?"

Jude nodded. "I like him. He likes me. It's not that I don't think he's worth it because I know that he is. I just don't want to hurt him or do the wrong thing."

Lena ran her hand through his hair and down his back, keeping her arm around him. "Going slowly is never a bad thing. Take your time and make sure you're both on the same page."

"That's what I keep saying! But it's so hard sometimes. When I was with Dylan it was easier because we were friends and it was obvious what we wanted from a relationship from each other." Jude sighed. "We were friends and we were both gay and it just seemed like it would make sense for us to be a couple. It was just trying to … figure things out for a lot of the relationship. Not all of it … but with Connor, it's not like it's circumstance or having someone there that we can feel safe figure out our identities with. I want to be with him because of who he is. Am I even making sense?" Jude slumped forward.

"Yes," Lena assured him. "First off, I know I'm your mother, but we're adults, and you can say the word 'sex' to me. I know you and Dylan were together for years –"

Jude quickly sat up at that. "Mom, you gave me the talk when I was fifteen. I'm okay. But Dylan and I never had sex. I wasn't ready for it then and I don't think I'd be ready for it right now either. Not even if Connor asked, but I know he wouldn't."

"I see what you're saying, Jude. Dylan was a first love and those don't last and they're a very different circumstance from other people, if only because we meet them so young."

"I mean, I wasn't lying when I told Dylan that I loved him. It's that I don't think the way I loved him is the way that I'm going to love the person I really end up with." Jude took a sip of his tea, even though it was still too hot and it scalded his tongue. "What did it feel like when you first met Mom?"

"Well, it was attraction at first sight," Lena reflected. "You know that I was out but that she had just divorced Mike, so it wasn't easy for her to wrap her head around her sexuality at first and so that was an obstacle that we met very early on."

"Why did you decide that it would be better to wait and see if she came out rather than just looking for someone that already had?" Jude glanced at Lena. "Did you have some kind of sense that you'd marry her then?"

"No. It took some time for us to get to the point where we realized that it was far more serious than just a couple of dates and that it was going to be us for the long haul. Deciding to spend your life with someone isn't some magical revelation that comes on quickly. It's something that comes with spending time with the other person, realizing that you want the same things, and deciding that together."

It was all so logical and so obvious and it was all something that Jude could have told himself. But hearing it come from Lena's mouth, who had been there and lived through it and was happily married to the love of her life, made all the difference to Jude. Lena had been there and come out happy. And while Stef not identifying as a lesbian and Connor being an abuse victim weren't the same thing, they were both early relationship obstacles.

"As for why I decided to wait … other than the fact that I liked her." Lena nudged Jude's shoulder with her own and Jude found himself smiling. His mothers being happy and in love was always something that he liked to see and hear about. "It was because she told me that she was working on it and that she liked me. I wouldn't have waited forever. If she had kept telling me that she was going to tell her family she was with a woman and didn't, I would have had to walk away, because that wouldn't have been healthy for either of us. I almost did walk away. But she wasn't letting me."

Jude tapped his mug, watching his tea ripple.

"Above all else, Jude, you need to think of you. I know that you like Connor and I know that he's got to be someone special for him to have your attention like this, but he is not more important than you are. Don't feel like you have to participate in a relationship because he needs you. You have to keep yourself safe and happy."

"Oh, Mom, he's not like that. He's sweet and considerate. Sometimes he gets worked up and anxious but I haven't ever felt like I had to be something different for him. I try and be more considerate because of what he's been through but I don't think I change."

"Just make sure you don't. You're good enough just as you are."

"You'll see what I mean when you meet him," Jude said.

Lena paused. "When?"

"Oh!" Jude felt as if his cheeks were on fire as he realized what he'd said. "I don't mean that I have plans to bring him here any time soon. It's just that … I like him."

"Well, he's got to be someone very special then."

"He is," Jude said. "He really is."

"I'm always here if you need to talk about anything else," Lena said. "You know we're both always here for you."

"I know." Jude cupped his hands around his mug. "Think you're young enough to stay up through a movie?"

"I think I can handle that."

They relocated to the couch and as Lena picked something out, Jude sent a text to Connor.

Jude: sadly, I have no food fights to report

Connor: that's a sad thing?

Connor: has that happened before?

Jude: not in public. We had an incident at home once. The biggest battle was over who would get to shower first when it was all over

Connor: who won?

Jude: Moms. Then mariana. As the youngest, I had to suffer with potato salad in my hair for the longest

Connor: oh. I'm sorry.

Jude: it was a funny day. no need to worry about it. did you do anything interesting today?

Connor: I told you I wouldn't

Jude: so what boring things did you do?

Connor: made supper. I went to the gym. Talked to Dad.

Jude: how was dinner?

"Is that him?" Lena asked.

"Connor," Jude supplied. "Yeah, it is. He made breakfast for supper."

"You look happy," Lena said.

"I am. I feel happy talking to him. That's got to mean something, right?"

"It definitely does. Just take your time and listen to your heart."

"And my moms."

"And your moms," Lena agreed. "Let's say we get this movie started, okay?"

"Okay," Jude agreed.

He settled in against his mother, drinking his tea and texting Connor. There was nothing about the moment that didn't make him happy.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you too," Lena replied.

Jude looked down at his phone to see the picture of Grumpy Cat that Connor had sent him.

Jude: it's nice to know you keep your promises

Connor: I do my best

Jude: I like your best

He got another picture of Grumpy Cat for that.

Jude: how was your dad when you talked to him?

Connor: I told him about you

Jude felt his stomach do a flip. He should have expected it. After all, he knew that Connor told his father a lot of things that went on his life, if not everything that went on his life. And Jude would have been hypocritical to have been upset by it. He'd just had a long conversation with Lena and had told her far more personal things about Connor than Connor would have been able to tell his father about Jude. Still, he felt anxious at the thought of Connor's father knowing about their semi-relationship. Would his father approve? Connor's father had a right to be concerned about Connor and who is son spent time with, particularly in a romantic way.

Jude: what did he say?

Connor: that he was going to trust me to make my own decisions but that he's going to worry.

Jude: seems reasonable.

Connor: I guess so.

Jude: or it's not?

Connor: if it's okay, I'd rather talk about this kind of stuff face to face.

Jude: perfectly okay!

Connor: are you sure?

Jude: completely!

Connor: we also talked about winter break

Jude: are you going home for it?

Connor: Dad talked about taking a trip. He always used to say he'd take me to New York. I think that's where he'll take me.

Jude: that sounds cool! I've never been there

Connor: if we go, I'll send you lots of pictures.

Jude: Promise?

Connor: promise.

Jude was still texting Connor when the movie ended and Lena teased him about it.

"Did you like it? Or do you even know what happened?"

"It was okay," Jude said. "You know I don't get these old people movies."

"Old! This movie came out in the nineties!"

"Before my time," Jude reminded her.

"You sure know how to make someone feel old."

"Sorry."

"Are you coming up to bed or are you going to stay down here a while?"

"I think I'm going to stay down here," Jude said.

Lena kissed him goodnight and Jude stretched out on the couch. He flicked the channels around until he found a familiar sitcom and then he picked up his phone again.

Connor: Christmas feels like it's too far away to talk about

Jude: Taylor and I are still trying to plan Halloween

Connor: oh. Right. The party.

Jude: which you're still invited to

Connor: can I tell you closer?

Jude: you can tell me whenever you want

And there was Grumpy Cat again. Jude just rested his head against the arm of the couch and moved the topic along to something else so that he could keep talking to Connor. Half an hour later, he dragged himself up the bedroom he used to share with Jesus and collapsed into his familiar bed. He turned on his side so that he could still text Connor and he fell asleep with his phone in his hand.

The chapter's title is after the song The Fight by Keith Urban ft. Carrie Underwood. If you have a song that reminds you of Barefoot And Bruised and would like it to be on the playlist – and possibly a chapter title – send it in and let me know! I'd love to hear your playlist suggestions! (Chapter titles are mostly chosen via shuffle.)

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Barefoot And Bruised, go to my tumblr URL and add backslash tagged backslash barefoot dash and dash bruised dash. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~