A/N: I'm starting to get lost...

Chapter 16

I Still...

Bella's POV

Roses are red violets are blue, did Cullen know you were doing Newton too?

I scoffed only half beneath my breath.

I was doing Edward and Mike?

I screwed it up ready to throw it over my shoulder when I suddenly froze, as a new realisation began to occur to me. Edward thought I was with Mike; it had been what he was so angry about the Friday before the party. What if he'd told others what he believed at the time was the truth, so they'd see his accident as my fault?

I wanted to shake my head openly, as a nervous energy building in my stomach began to silently contradict me.

Edward wouldn't do that—he wouldn't!

From that moment on, the day went from bad to worse. I was shoved and shoulder barged between classes; not aggressive enough that I'd be hurt—physically that is—but enough that I felt the psychological intimidation behind it. I found notes shoved in my locker calling me every trending insult that had existed for the course of my teenage years. I was sneered at by most people I passed, and the ones who didn't stared with accusing eyes until after a while, I wasn't sure which one was worse.

I attempted to get from class to class looking as little as possible away from the ground, and get through the day as best as I could. And all I could focus on was that Edward was behind this—unwittingly or not. After all, he was the first person in the school to believe I'd somehow cheated on him with Newton.

So easily he'd believed it, without ever asking me if it was true. . .

Hell, it was what I'd allowed him to believe—what did I expect?

By fourth period, however, I discovered that not the entire school believed all the rumours.

As I sat in my seat, cringing away from the not-so subtle accusations that held me accountable, Angela sat beside me with a sympathetic expression worked into her welcoming smile.

"Bella, are you all right?" she whispered to me, her eyes burning with compassion.

I was so overcome by the sound of a friendly voice that when I spoke it almost came out as a pitiful sob. "I-I don't know what the hell's going on, Ang. Everyone's blaming me for what happened to Edward."

She nodded with a deep sigh. "I know. Have you heard the rumour?"

"That I murdered him? Yes!" The notion was so ridiculous that my tone flared hotly; which only increased the attention that was centred on me.

Angela's expression remained empathetic, before she explained tactfully, "What I heard was that Edward caught you cheating on him at the party with Mike and was so upset he got drunk."

"Huh?" I uttered blankly.

It was good news, wasn't it? It meant that Edward wasn't the cause behind it, but who would spread such a blatant lie?

"I know. I was right there when Mike jumped on you. I told everyone it's a lie, but I think it's taken on a life of its own." She rolled her eyes.

I expelled my breath brashly with frustration, before looking up to again meet Angela's sincere gaze. "I'm not together with either of them, Angela. Edward's a friend . . . I mean, we were—and well he got the impression I was with Mike, but. . ." I let it trail off, lost by the confusion of it and the lingering sense of guilt.

If I'd just found a spine inside me and set him straight on Friday, but my deepest instincts were always to flee when confronted; never to stand my ground. . .

"Mike's telling people it's true and you're together with him," Angela added, delicately, before my head immediately snapped up.

"He is?" I challenged, my thoughts quickly collecting and becoming increasingly livid.

She nodded ruefully. "Yeah, it seems he's telling anyone who'll listen. So, if you were wondering where Edward got the impression from. . ."

I was seething. I'd been perfectly friendly to him at the movies Thursday night, but I'd let him know that I wasn't receptive to whatever designs he had regarding me.

"So, he's the one spreading this bullshit about me cheating on Edward?" My voice became tense with anger.

Cheating? The notion was laughable since we'd only just become friends again.

Angela shook her head slowly. "I don't think it's only him spreading it, but he's not denying any of it."

"Bloody wanker!" I burst a little too loudly.

Mike and I were going to have a long discussion about this as soon as I found him, I vowed, and this time—perhaps for the first time in my life—I would not back down.

"H-how is Edward anyway, Bella?" Angela asked me apprehensively after seemingly allowing me a moment to fume silently to myself.

Sighing heavily, I let go of my anger as my thoughts again returned to Edward. "He . . . was placed in a coma, but they're going to bring him out of it in a few days, apparently."

"So he's not . . . going to . . ?" she asked delicately, looking aggrieved.

I shook my head, explaining, "No. Alice told me this morning that he's pretty stable."

"I heard . . . you and Alice were with him," she relayed gently, as the image of Edward lying on the side of the road bloodied and unconscious assaulted my thoughts.

I pushed it away immediately, but I wasn't quick enough to prevent Angela from witnessing how it affected me.

"We arrived not long after," I whispered, clearing my throat softly.

Angela only sighed before silently placing her hand on my shoulder.

Fourth period was a little easier to bear with Angela beside me, and in a sense it was empowering knowing I had at least one ally. It was a different story, however, when I was faced with the crowded halls alone afterwards. Shrinking pathetically into myself, I made my way to the cafeteria continuing to be shoved and jeered at.

I didn't bother lining up to get lunch; the walk through the halls alone had used up my reserves of courage. Instead, I made my way to our table, almost fainting with relief seeing Rose and Jazz already seated there.

"Well, well, if it isn't the girl of the hour," Rose said looking up with a small smirk, as I slumped into the chair next to her.

"So you've heard too, huh?" I replied, feeling so defeated the sarcasm I was aiming for only came across as jaded.

She nodded. "I must say, Bella, you certainly do know how to make an impression on people." Her dry tone was teasing.

"I seem to," I mumbled, scoffing the sarcasm to myself this time.

"Bella! Can you believe what everyone is saying?" Nessie suddenly dropped into the chair on the other side of me, followed by Jake, bringing out a dry-laced "Please, take a seat" from Rose.

I shrugged. "I guess someone had to be the scape goat."

"That's bullshit, Bells. No one has said a thing to me—freaking pussies!" Jake blurted out, his expression suddenly twisting with anger.

It seemed to be a permanent fixture for him these days—because of me.

"Who'd start it?" Nessie asked knotting her eyebrows and shaking her head, genuinely confused.

"Oh, I think I have a fair idea who," Rose spoke up, motioning with a tilt of her head in the direction where Jessica and Lauren sat.

"What? Why?" I exclaimed, narrowing my eyes and feeling my jaw clench the longer my gaze lingered on Jessica.

"You don't know?" Rose asked me, quirking a dubious eyebrow.

I opened my mouth to reply but shut it almost immediately. Did I?

Rose's smirk deepened—right along with the shade of my face.

"That's it. I'm going to sort those bitches out!" Jake decided then and there, getting out of his chair with a loud scrape.

"Jake, steady there. Rose will handle her," Jazz spoke up with an amused grin.

Jake rather begrudgingly sat back down; I flashed him a grateful, affectionate smile, and his face warmed a little in response.

If there was one thing you couldn't say about Jake, it was that he wasn't loyal.

"What are you going to do, baby? Scratch her eyes out?" Nessie teased him, stretching up to rub her nose against his.

"I might," Jake murmured in reply before pressing his lips to hers.

Oh, God. . .

Rose groaned only partially under her breath before her eyes met mine. She almost laughed. It was so foreign for her; I almost didn't recognise her behind it. But when it became obvious that we were all going to become privy to their affections, she no longer saw the humour in it.

We only sat in awkward silence, unable to start a conversation over the slurping sounds. Rose went steadily green by the minute, pushing her food away in disgust as Jazz attempted to smother his laughter with the palm of his hand.

"Jeez, those two make Alice and me look PG," Jazz mused as we walked from the cafeteria to our fifth period classes.

I was glad for the company. My next class was Bio.

I snorted blatantly, teasingly. "Oh, you reckon?"

He only grinned sheepishly, his cheeks flushing slightly, before his expression smoothed out. "I heard what Newton's been telling everyone," he confessed, his brow bridged. "I didn't want to say anything with Nessie there, but Edward's gonna rip his balls out when he gets back."

I felt myself stiffen, immediately straightening out. It wasn't something I was in even the remotest frame of mind to start contemplating.

And seeming to understand, Jazz looked away awkwardly before turning back to me with an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Bella I. . ." he abandoned it, rubbing the back of his neck absently.

I half shrugged, offering him an easy going smile before feeling my expression darken. "I'm going to speak to Newton today in Gym."

I wasn't planning on doing any ball ripping, but I was going to make sure he never opened his mouth to mention my name ever again!

As I headed towards Bio, Jazz and I parted, and I was forced to continue the rest of the way again feeling opened and exposed.

I was pushed from behind, more blatantly than usual, just before Jessica passed me; her strides emphasising that she was the one who'd shoved me.

I stopped, watching the pure arrogance of her disappear in front of me as I stood fuming. When I again made my way toward class, it was with contemplation over Rose's theory at lunch—over why Jessica had spread the rumours. Slowing my pace, I found myself smirking, despite the increased snickering from behind me.

For whatever reason, the "L" for loser sign I'd become used to up until that point had turned to a "W" for—after a second jolt from behind me, I whirled around, past all patience, when I was faced with Rose. She was crumbling a piece of paper in her hands before quickly hiding it behind her back

I sighed with resignation. "Just show me. . ."

"It's crap, Bella," she replied.

I held out my hand regardless, before she warily placed it in my palm.

For a moment I just gazed down at it, deciding whether I really wanted to know, before taking an inevitable breath, I unfolded it.

It said one word: whore.

So that explained the "W". . .

I found myself sobbing in the very same stall as the one I had that morning, having let Jessica Stanley humiliate me—again. Jessica Stanley, who Edward had taken to the party Saturday night just to throw in my face—as some kind of retribution.

Well fuck him, and fuck her too!

With growing impatience, I pulled myself together. This was not who I was anymore. Old Bella used to hide in the toilets as a means to escape my mother's ever increasing reputation. How ironic it was that I was now cowering from my own.

After splashing water over my face, I turned to leave—no longer giving a shit about what waited for me on the other side of the door—just as I was almost knocked backwards by Rose who was dragging a loudly protesting Jessica Stanley behind her, before slamming her up against the wall.

"I'm going to tell you once, Stanley, and only once," Rose paused to exhale angrily through her nose, her eyes hardening while her face didn't give up a single crease. "I don't like malicious rumours when it hurts my friends. So, if you don't stop this bullshit right now, so help me God, I will track you down and bleed you dry. You got that loud and clear?" Her tone was low, in full control, rising only slightly at the end, and her expression was nothing short of fierce.

I was in awe of her. She looked terrifying in her calmness, while Jessica went pale, her eyes darting hastily to me before back to Rose.

I only smiled at her, slyly.

"I-I have no idea what you're on about, Rosalie!" Jessica retorted lamely, attempting to maintain a brave facade, but contradicted herself immediately by blinking repeatedly.

Rose took a measured breath in, closing her eyes shortly, before turning the full ferocity of them on Jessica; who shrank away from her.

I almost laughed, but stopped myself; immediately wondering if this was how I'd looked for most of the day.

"Don't test me, Stanley," Rose threatened her, maintaining her ice cold calmness, before releasing Jessica and shoving her towards the door without another glance in her direction. "Are you okay, Bella?" she asked me a moment later, her lips twitching with a hint of a smile.

Nodding, I returned her smile, gratefully. "Thanks, Rose."

"God knows I had to sort that bitch out, or we'd all be forced to put up with Jake and Nessie's appetising acts of love for Christ knows how many more lunch breaks."

I laughed openly this time.

She definitely had a point.

It was easier to face Biology—knowing there was going to be a huge gap next to me with the absence of Edward—with the image of Jessica's terrified expression at the front of my mind.

I'd been dreading it all day. Every single Bio lesson I'd had Edward had been there. Whether I'd been angry with him or secretly star crossed by his proximity, he was always there beside me, a pivotal presence; until now.

Releasing my breath heavily, and avoiding the thirty or so eyes that immediately came to rest on me, I made my way to my chair. To mine and Edward's table, while attempting to ignore the empty stool beside me.

It was no use, and my short lived mood quickly came to an abrupt halt, my throat becoming choked—just as Mike Newton sat beside me. In Edward's chair!

I could only stare at his audacity—as he grinned back in what I could only presume was his deluded sense of charm—feeling my mindset immediately shift to pissed off!

"What do you think you're doing? That seat is taken!" My voice was low and wavering with anger.

He only shrugged. "It's not as if Cullen is going to be needing—"

"Perhaps you didn't hear me, Mike. That. Seat. Is. Taken," I interrupted him, picking up my Biology book ready to use it to smash his nose into his brain.

He flashed me again what I'm sure he thought was some kind of appealing grin. "Surely you don't mind if I keep it warm 'till Cullen returns."

"GET OUT OF HIS CHAIR!" I exclaimed, completely losing it, despite the fact that the entire class was watching the development between the two of us. I held my book up ready to strike when Mr Banner entered the room with a strict clearing of his throat.

I looked over to him feeling myself become flustered and shaky, on the verge of angry tears.

The teacher's eyes were centred directly on Mike.

"Mr Newton, take your regular seat this instant," he demanded, his tone hard. His eyes were narrowed; a huge contrast compared to his usual calm, controlled demeanour.

Mike got up with an arrogant grin, winking at me, before leisurely walking over to the table he shared with Jason.

With my face flushing hotly, I only tore my eyes angrily away, fuming to myself.

The anger remained with me through most of the lesson. In fact, I was so preoccupied with it that I almost didn't notice when yet another note was tossed on the table in front of me.

I openly scoffed, not even tempted this time to know what was written, when Mr Banner's hand swooped down to snatch it up.

I watched cringing to myself as he opened the note casually, with deliberate respite, before reading it; his eyebrows coming slowly together with obvious aversion as he did.

"Who is responsible for this?" he asked holding the note out.

No answer; in fact, the class grew suddenly quiet.

I sat with my eyes glued to the book before me, totally detesting the fact that more attention was now drawn to me—not that I really believed that was even possible.

"Oh, come on. I'm sure who ever wrote this extremely witty piece would appreciate the recognition," his voice was sarcastic as he eyed each and every student with suspicion.

Except, of course, me.

I groaned internally, wishing like hell he'd get over it already.

No such luck. He made an intentional show of ripping the note into small pieces whilst starting a lecture on his intolerance for vindictiveness, before demanding Mike Newton clean the mess up.

"If I catch any more of this garbage, every one of you will be on detention. Is that clear?" I didn't miss the pitied glance he threw in my direction, and I was positive there was a deliberate omission from his speech that went something like: Except of course for Isabella Swan, whose school life has thus far been so pathetic that it could send her over the deep end.

. . .

Before sixth period, and after making sure I was in complete control of my emotions, I went in search of Mike.

I found him chatting outside the gym with a group of guys from our year—guys who had all given me crap that day, I realised—and immediately got the impression that he was gloating about me. The skin at the back of my neck prickled with angry heat, and I was forced to stop myself and push it back with a deep, determined breath before I was spurred forward again.

"Mike, can I talk to you for a moment?" I asked him with perfectly feigned politeness, without missing the cocky wink he threw in the direction of his cohorts.

Swallowing past another surge of aversion, I looked down at my feet as he approached me.

"Bella, from the land down under, what's up?" His voice was a conceited drawl that only succeeded in increasing my irritation—despite the fact he was under the deluded misapprehension that he was somehow charming me.

"I just wanted to know why you've been telling lies about me!" I demanded hotly, unable to pretend any longer or hold my indignation back.

His eyebrows shot up in genuine surprise before a slow grin spread across his face. "I haven't been telling lies, Bella."

"Oh, really?" I snapped, arching a sceptical brow. "Why then would the entire school be under the impression that we have something going on when I told you repeatedly that I wasn't interested!?"

For a moment his expression smoothed out before again his grin slowly returned. "Well, I can't help what people choose to believe."

He was really getting under my skin. I'd seen Renee head butt one of her lecherous dates once, and at that moment I seriously wanted to try it myself.

"Let's just say for a moment that I actually believe you. You've heard what people have been saying about me today. Why haven't you told them it's all lies?" I challenged angrily, my voice beginning to tremble, before folding my arms across my chest to stop my hands from shaking.

He didn't reply; he only watched me, as if he was trying to decipher my thoughts.

Dropping my gaze to the ground momentarily and huffing my breath in frustration, I attempted to regain my composure, but when I looked back up, Mike's hand reached out to wipe my hair away from my face with a brazen confidence that I immediately recoiled from. It wasn't the first time, after all, that a man had put his hands on me expecting a different response.

"Don't bloody touch me!" I demanded, through practically gritted teeth.

He laughed. "Come on, Bella. Why are you playing games? Why are you pretending that you didn't feel anything while we were kissing? You don't have to feel guilty over Cullen, you know."

I think my mouth fell open. I think my eyes welled with hot, angry tears, but I wasn't sure. All I was certain of was the level of rage that was ploughing through my veins as Mike's hand rose to touch me again.

I punched him, hard, somewhere in the face. It sent him staggering backwards as a searing pain exploded in my hand and shot up my arm; I gripped it tightly to my chest.

"Bloody hell—OW!" I cried, jumping around in small circles, clutching it tighter. "Bugger it! Bugger, bugger—damn it!"

An eruption of laughter temporarily distracted me before I soon realised it was coming from the group of guys Mike had just been gloating with. Indignant and becoming flustered in my anger, I pulled myself quickly together before turning back to Newton, daring him to touch me again, ready to punch him once more if need be.

His head was bent, his palm covering his mouth as blood trickled between his fingers. When his shocked eyes met mine, they were shining with humiliation and pain, before he quickly masked it behind resentment.

"Stay away from me, Mike, or next time. . ." I stopped myself, refusing to waste another breath on him, before shouldering my way through the gym doors, continuing to cradle my stricken hand.

Explaining away my cut and bleeding hand to Coach Clapp, I was sent to the bleachers. Gym was much easier to deal with on the side lines, especially with the very obvious absence of Mike Newton—and not to mention Jessica Stanley. She couldn't even manage a side way glance in my direction, much less anything else.

For the first time that day, a genuine smile spread broadly across my face and stayed there the entire lesson. I'd survived, and more than that, I'd survived with my head held high.

By the time the day was finally over, my hand had swollen to twice its normal size and was bruising darker by the second. I was a little worried I'd done some damage, but I hated to put Billy through more stress where I was concerned. I was sure he wanted to wash his hands of me and ship me back to Australia with a large "do not return" sign stapled to my forehead.

As I headed to my Jeep, I ran into Jazz and Rose. Jazz's eyes immediately fell to my hand—that I'd been subconsciously rubbing.

"Yowza! Bella, did you fall over in gym?" he asked, appraising my hand with alarm.

"Oh," I glanced down at it, feeling my cheeks deepen, "no, I punched that wanker, Mike Newton," I admitted sheepishly.

His eyebrows shot up before his lips twitched with sudden amusement. "Newton?"

I only nodded with a small grin just as Rose began chuckling beside me.

"You go girl!" She gently took my hand in hers to inspect it more closely, her eyebrows pulling together as she evaluated it. "Hmm, Bella, you might want to see a doctor, though."

"Nah, it's okay. I'll put some ice on it when I get home," I assured her, shrugging.

I could still move my fingers, so. . .

"Jeez, I'd love to see what Newton looks like right now," Jazz added, his blue eyes bright and creasing with laughter.

"He's such an asshole," I added lowly, my tone a little too passionate. I was really beginning to detest Mike Newton.

. . .

Jake was riding home without Nessie that afternoon, and since she didn't always ride with us, I thought nothing of it.

As soon as he pulled his massive form into the front passenger seat, he spotted my hand that I was resting precariously on the steering wheel.

His eye brows shot up in surprise. "Crap, Bells—what the heck did you do to your hand?"

When I didn't immediately reply he continued. If truth be told, I was contemplating whether I should be honest or skim over the facts; due to his girlfriend being Mike's sister. "Don't tell me you sorted that bitch, Stanley, out? Bells, I'm so freaking proud of you!" His eyes suddenly lit up in almost disbelief and his laugh was whole-hearted—and contagious.

Apart of me wished it was Jessica's face I'd broken my hand on. "Um, it wasn't exactly Jessica, but it was someone who was telling lies about me."

Jake continued to laugh, shaking his head to himself in wonder. "Just when I thought you didn't have it in ya, but I knew I'd rub off on you sooner or later."

I only chuckled lightly along with him, glad for the most part that he didn't inquire further.

. . .

My routine of getting home and checking the answering machine before I could breathe in relief and relax knowing Kel had survived another day was still intact; despite what was happening with Edward and my horrendous day at school. The second thing I did was take a frozen packet of peas from the freezer and wrapped it around my hand with a tea towel before disappearing back into my room; in hopes I could recover some semblance of my sanity that had been lost that day. The third thing I did was listen to the very foreign sound of Jake arguing with Nessie over the phone.

Sitting up in bed in surprise, I angled my head towards the living room.

"Babe, it's bullshit! Bella wouldn't do something like that for nothing—your brother is a liar." Jake's tone was a mixture of annoyance and anxiety.

I groaned. The whole thing with Mike was obviously out in the open, and once again it seemed I was continuing to affect the lives of people I loved in a negative way.

I trudged back down stairs just as the yelling intensified. The notion of Jake and Nessie fighting was so utterly bizarre, and since it was me who was the cause of it made it that little bit worse.

"She's been getting crapped over all day because of what happened to Cu—Edward"—

I smiled to myself as Jake quickly corrected himself as I walked into the room.

—"and it has something to do with your douche of a brother!"

Sighing, I held my hand out, motioning for Jake to give me his phone. Which he did—reluctantly—after a moment.

"Ness, it's Bella." My voice was calm.

"Bella, what did you do? Mikes mouth is split open! He's a mess!" Her voice was shrill. I cringed away from it, as did Jake who'd heard it—along with half the population of Forks, no doubt.

I waited patiently for her to finish. "Nessie, I love you, but I'm sorry, your brother is a wanker."

Jake's eyebrows shot up in surprise. I wasn't perturbed; I was just saying it how it was. In fact, it was nowhere near the intensity of my feelings toward him.

"What did he do, Bella?" Nessie challenged me. "He said you punched him because you were angry about Edward."

Groaning softly to myself, I closed my eyes, rubbing my forehead in exasperation. "He's been telling lies about me, and then he had the nerve to deny it," I explained, unable to keep the hostility from seeping into my tone.

"What lies?" Nessie asked, her defiance fading with the pitch of her voice.

"Well, he seems to think, in his twisted and deluded mind, that he and I have something going on!" I answered her shortly.

There was a pause. "Well . . . you do, don't you?" Her tone was laced with confusion.

"What!?" I exclaimed blankly, my frustration teetering on total loss of control. "NO!"

"Didn't you kiss him at the party? He said you guys hooked up," she relayed beginning to sound more and more uncertain.

I almost dropped the phone. In fact, I almost threw it across the room in a fit of impatience. "No. What happened was he attacked me at the party before Emmett Cullen dragged him off me!"

Another pause.

This time I groaned loudly, handing Jake back his phone, past all tolerance.

Plonking myself on the lounge, I huffed brashly, but despite my present aggravation, I knew I'd continue to feel guilty and uneasy until they made up again. Thankfully, it only took a couple of minutes before they were in full force phone slopping.

Scoffing softly to myself, relieved if nothing else, I headed back to my room.

I was half way up the stairs when the ridiculous rap music ringtone Jake had installed on my phone began blasting from inside my bedroom. I raced in, almost killing myself on the last step, and grabbed it.

Alice.

"Hey, Als!" I said brightly.

"Bella!" she exclaimed full of alarm. "Jazzy just told me what happened today! Oh my God! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, really. Rose took care of Jessica, and I took care of Mike—it's all good!"

"Uh-huh. . . Jazz told me about that, too." I could practically see her smirk behind the sudden shrewd tone of her voice.

I chuckled softly. "He had it coming."

"I can't wait to tell Edward—" she said, breaking into laughter, before cutting herself off abruptly.

"It's fine, Alice. How is Edward anyway?" My tone only had a slight edge to it.

"He's doing really well. They're going to bring him out of the coma tomorrow apparently, so he'll start to wake up Wednesday. How's Kel?" She was excited, and if truth be told, I was too—not to mention overwhelmingly relieved and panicked simultaneously.

"That's great, Al, really, and Kel is hanging on still." My voice was soft, I didn't mean for it to be. I didn't want Alice worrying about me.

There was a slight pause.

"Y-You still going to come and see him again?" She sounded suddenly unsure.

"I said I would, didn't I?" I teased her.

"Bella . . . you know you don't have to do anything you don't want to. Edward hurt you. It's okay to still feel angry about it."

"I know." I took a heavy breath. "At the moment I don't know how I feel, but I'll come and see him. I-I want to," I replied seriously. It was the truth—in a sense.

"Okay and I'll come to school tomorrow. If anyone dares—"

I interrupted her immediately, insistent, "No you're not! I told you, Alice, I'm fine. I can take care of myself."

I was finding out more and more that I could

. . .

I was just starting my homework when Jake knocked on my door, popping his head around a moment later. "Hey, Bells."

I grinned at him warmly. "What's up, Jake?"

"Nessie wanted to say sorry about Mike, and all that," he mumbled awkwardly, standing in the middle of my room with a look of sheepish guilt on his face.

It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him it wasn't his fault that his girlfriend's brother was an asshole, but decided against it. Instead, I shrugged simply. "It's no problem."

"Jeez, Bells, why didn't you tell me what he did to you at the party? I would have gladly broken the creep's face." His eyes continued to reflect guilt, along with a sudden regret.

With a knowing grin, I teasingly reminded him, "Um . . . well you and Nessie were kind of preoccupied."

He broke into an abashed grin, mumbling, "Yeah, I guess so."

"It's okay, Jake. I mean, sheesh, between you and Alice. . ." I exhaled deeply into an almost exasperated smile.

"Well, now that you can take care of yourself and everything. . ." he joked.

Holding up my injured hand in emphasis, I nodded, my smile broadening.

Jake paused; he seemed to be deliberating with himself before sitting down on the edge of my bed. It bent sharply on a lopsided angle, spilling my homework on to the floor. He leaned down to retrieve it, the springs letting out a high pitched wail in protest.

I watched him curiously as he continued his deliberation, fiddling with the edge of my quilt, a frown etching into his features. It took him a good two minutes before he opened his mouth to speak.

"So, Bells . . . are you okay?" he asked me. He was completely serious.

"I'm fine," I answered with a half shrug, becoming puzzled.

"You're not," he countered flatly before releasing his breath. "This whole thing with Cu—Edward has thrown you."

I sighed inwardly, massaging my forehead with my fingertips before looking over at him. "Jeez, Jake, not everything I do is about Edward," I mumbled, becoming annoyed and uneasy by this conversation.

He paused again, as if gathering his thoughts, before continuing, "A few months before you came, Bells, Nessie went hiking in the woods with a couple of her friends," he paused and glanced at me. I nodded, feeling my brow furrow, unsure where he was going. "Anyway, they got lost. It got dark and they weren't back." His eyes deepened until they were dark pools swimming with sudden emotion before he paused and glanced at me, and again I nodded becoming more and more confused. "That look you had on your face, Bells, when you found out I hit Cul—Edward. . ." he let it fade off as if in emphasis, his expression growing sympathetic.

I faltered, realising I was holding my breath. I wasn't sure why, but as I waited for him to finish, I felt like I was suspended.

"It's the same look I had when Nessie was lost. I know what you feel about him, Bells. I can see it in your face." He was smiling at me this time . . . with pity.

I only blinked, surprised before opening my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Closing it again in defeat, I released my bated breath as I contemplated it.

He could see it on my face? See what?

Jakes expression had remained sympathetic, but his eyes began to reflect the blaze of hostility I'd seen only with his run-ins with Edward. "Don't let him hurt you, Bells, or I swear next time—"

Becoming resigned, I interjected, "Jake. . ." My voice was soft, jaded, managing just a hint of irritation but otherwise remained jarred.

"Just be careful, Bells. I don't want to see you get hurt. You deserve. . ." he abandoned it; I suspected because he was about to tell me I deserved someone better than "Cullen".

I nodded; it was all I could manage.

He left then, leaving me to the torture of my thoughts. A fraction of a second later, I jumped off my bed and made my way over to my Josh-framed mirror. Staring long and hard at my reflection, I searched for any sign in my features that would validate what Jake had said. What stared back was the same girl with my father's dark brown eyes that reflected all the same fears they did when I was back in Australia. There was nothing to suggest I was in love with Edward.

Nothing.

I barely slept that night.

. . .

Tuesday.

I was still a sleazy skank and whore, and though Mike Newton had had an unfortunate accident on his push bike, splitting his lip open, we were still screwing around behind Edward's back.

And Edward was being brought out of his coma.

I'd agreed to go and see him Wednesday after school with Alice—so long as he woke up without any complications, that is. And naturally, because I was dreading every minute of it, it came around all too soon, and before I knew it I was pacing back and forth across the living room as I waited for Alice to pick me up.

Jake and Nessie's slopping session was constantly interrupted by Jake breaking away to gaze at me with concern. I was careful to avoid his gaze; I knew what was written in his eyes—it was the same look he'd had since the moment I'd met Edward. At least back then I could tell myself it was just because of all the bad blood between the two of them, but after what he'd said Monday afternoon. . .

I turned to him almost subconsciously, his eyes met mine and the warning behind them shone with clarity.

He'll hurt you, Bells. You know it, and I know it.

With a huff, I turned completely away and continued to pace around the furniture. My stomach was a mass of knots, and I was becoming increasingly agitated by my reaction. I'd sat next to Edward in Bio for an hour every day; surely I could handle another one. It was just another hour with him—that was all!

It was a hollow thought, because things were different now; I wasn't sure why, just that they were. Of course, there was the written-all-over-my-face thing to consider, and if that was true, who else was aware of it other than Jake?

With an audible breath, I ran my hands through my hair. I'd done it so many times already that long strands had become tangled around my fingers.

Jake broke away again, his eyes following me with unease as I stalked back and forth, obviously procrastinating on whether he should say something, when Nessie jumped up in exasperation.

"Bella! Sit and relax." She grabbed me by the shoulders and forced me to sit on the recliner, where I'd get a front row seat to the slopping. "You have another half an hour to wait and you're making me jumpy!" Snatching up the remote control she switched on the television, for my benefit, before curling up on the sofa with Jake again.

With a conceding sigh, I turned my attention to the screen.

Dr Phil.

He was talking about infidelity in marriage or something, when, in his articulate southern accent, he spoke straight to me through the screen, "The best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour."

Hastily, I switched the television off as if some creepy black haired girl was going to crawl out of it and murder me horrendously, when I caught Jake's gaze. He was smirking to himself all too knowingly in between kisses.

I only groaned inwardly.

So what! It wasn't as if Edward acted solely on his own—Newton was the one who'd put the idea in his head. But my heart still sank. Edward had believed the rumours—just like the majority of students at school. He'd acted no differently, and the truth behind it stung.

Shaking my head to myself in frustration, I cleared my thoughts. I was going to visit Edward in hospital—that was all. It wasn't as if he was proposing marriage.

I was happier pacing. At least then I wasn't thrown into turmoil with bloody words of wisdom from bald psychologists. Besides, Jake and Nessie had upped the ante on the slurping and it was getting on my last nerve. If I was forced into a close encounter with it for much longer, I was going to chuck a massive hissy.

How the hell was I supposed to think rationally with their foreplay going on around me?

"Guys!" I finally snapped after walking into the kitchen and still cringing from the sound of it. "Would you get a bloody room already?"

Jake broke away all drooly-faced and grinned mischievously. "Bells, we're not allowed in the rooms. You know that."

Sighing shortly, I decided to wait for Alice outside. The chill air was sure to snap some rational thought into me, as well as cool my burning face, and with a bit of luck, by the time Alice arrived, I wouldn't look as overwrought as I felt.

Of course, she arrived early. It was probably a good thing; I was wound so tight I didn't think I could last a minute longer without having a total melt down.

She had a completely over-exaggerated look of excitement on her face that it was hard not be infected by it.

"Bella! Hey!" She jumped out of the car to hug me impulsively. "He's awake!"

My heart skipped a beat and ached a little in my chest as it did so. "That's great news, Alice."

It was—more than I could possibly fathom at this point.

I climbed into the passenger seat as Alice practically pranced around to the driver's side and jumped in, closing the door and starting the engine simultaneously.

"He's very drowsy and groggy and he's saying some funny things, but. . ." she paused to sigh with sudden emotion, "I can't tell you how relieved I am, Bella."

I nodded, feeling my throat begin to choke a little. "I think I have a good idea, Alice," I whispered.

She turned to glance at me, smiling sadly, before turning her attention back to the road.

We drove in silence. I suspected Alice knew I had a lot on my mind and left me to my thoughts, as I tried in vain to comprehend what I felt about Edward now that he was recovering.

Was anything different?

Would it change?

Did I owe him another chance?

Forty minutes later we arrived at the hospital, and with a resigned sigh, I allowed Alice to pull me from the car. Linking her arm through mine she enthusiastically hauled me into the building as my heart continued to thud, unyielding in its tirade, making me feel weak and feeble.

Five minutes later, three floors up, and around the final corner to the ICU, and I was a mess of trembling, exhausted nerves and growing panic.

"Bella, relax, it's not like last time. He's off those horrible machines," Alice insisted, squeezing me with reassurance.

Could I tell her the real reason why the panic had ebbed its way back into my heart? That I was in love wholeheartedly with her brother and was just as fearful of it?

No.

Nodding, I swallowed hard, taking a large breath to calm myself.

Esme was outside Edward's room speaking with Dr Masen. She was smiling, her face bright and her eyes glistening. It was a complete contrast to the last time I saw her—regardless of the unwavering calm she seemed to possess.

She turned as we approached and her smile broadened. Alice released me to hug her mother affectionately, who returned it with added tenderness, before turning to me.

"Hello, Bella." Her tone was soft and resonating. So much like Edward's. . .

"Hi." My voice caught at the back of my throat, before I offered up an uncertain smile.

She approached me almost apprehensively, as though I were a wild horse that might be easily frightened and bolt, before taking me into her arms to embrace me gently but briefly. My back tensed involuntarily, before I felt myself relax a fraction in the warmth of her arms.

"I'm so glad you've come," she spoke with an honest sincerity.

"Me too," I replied in a quiet whisper.

"Can I take Bella in, Carlisle?" Alice asked the blond doctor, who pushed his glasses back up his nose and smiled, nodding once.

"That should be fine, but not too long."

"Kay," Alice said grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the door.

My clammy palm practically slipped from her grip, threatening to send me stumbling backwards. But clutching Alice's hand tighter, and taking a measured breath, I willingly accompanied her into the room.

The second my eyes fell on Edward my breath automatically drew in, and just like the first time, my heart seemed to come to an aching halt. He was lying peacefully sleeping, a blue hospital gown draped loosely over him, untied. His chest was rising and falling in a natural rhythm, unlike when he was attached to the respirator, and the only visible tubes I could see were the drip in his hand, and the heart monitors that disappeared under his gown.

Stepping closer to him, vaguely aware that Alice had hung back, I gazed down at him.

Drawing his eyebrows slowly together, he let out a soft, drowsy moan, before inhaling and letting it out with a long breath. Then languidly, he opened his eyes.

As they met mine, my chest instantly tightened with a sudden swelling of emotion. He smiled, kind of drunkenly and delicately moistened his lips, before his eyes dipped closed momentarily.

"Bella," his voice was strained and croaky from obvious lack of use, "please don't leave."

Right then and there my heart was broken. My eyes immediately welled with tears as I was quite literally engulfed by a tsunami of emotion. It left me reeling with the entire array of accompanied clichés; hammering heart; racing pulse—birds singing—before a broad smile broke slowly across my face.

I loved him. A couple of dozen or so Biology classes, a few fractured moments, and a hell of a lot of pens, and I had fallen in love with him.

I'd fallen in love for the first time in my life.

He opened his eyes again; they were bloodshot and his irises were dull, but it was still him behind them.

Taking his hand gently in mine—it was warm again—I shook my head, whispering, "I won't leave."

He half smiled sleepily before his eyes once again closed. Then, struggling to clear his throat, he spoke again, his voice hoarse and even croakier than it was before; evoking an affectionate smile involuntarily to my lips. "I'm so cold when you're not here."

A choking snorting sound from behind me immediately broke the moment, while alerting me to the fact that Emmett was in the room.

"Emmett!" I heard Alice hiss, but I didn't turn around.

My eyes stayed locked to Edward as I surrendered myself to this emotional release. It left my heart surprisingly unburdened finally after the months of fighting him—fighting this hold he seemed to have over me.

"Just when I thought Edith couldn't get any funnier, he goes into a coma," Emmett quipped from behind me.

Sighing softly to myself, I turned my head to look over my shoulder, meeting Alice's gaze. She rolled her eyes, a wry smirk on her lips. I smiled at her broadly in response, feeling completely weightless for the first time in months.

But when I turned back to Edward, and before I could focus my attention on him again, the panic had already hit. It was as overwhelming as it was apparent. A warning so inherent I understood it completely, and in its momentum it broke the spell that had rendered me so exposed and vulnerable. What was left was the brutal truth of reality that had reached out, clenched my heart closed, and snapped my senses back in place.

I couldn't allow Edward to have this power over me—I couldn't allow anyone to have that kind of power over me ever again. Especially someone who'd proven to me repeatedly that I could not trust him. Someone who was as dangerous as he was unpredictable.

It would be detrimental to everything I'd fought to become since leaving Australia. I knew it, Jake knew it—even Dr-bloody-Phil knew it.

A/N: Yes Dr Phil knows everything. . .