Chapter V

He woke up, feeling so hot his clothes were sticking to his skin. He had seen a bad dream, he felt he had, but even now the details were slipping from his mind. Yet, there was a lingering uneasiness. For some reason he didn't understand, he felt like he shouldn't forget about that terrible nightmare. It was silly. Still, he couldn't quite shake that feeling off.

He opened his eyes. Before the bed, there were six ponies. Those six. One of them, purple one, was in the front of the group with a wide, utterly fake smile. Her horn-because, yes, she had a horn- was glowing with the same color as her, but with a different shade. A parchment, surrounded by the same energy, was floating in front of the pony and over his bed. Fluttershy's bed. Just like that.

He didn't react. By now, it was just another thing. He just felt numb, as if his soul had been ripped out of his body. He had crash landed from his world into a horrible wonderland last night, and that had been painfully clear since he had woke up. When he somehow tore that dog to pieces, he had finally admitted it to himself. So now, he couldn't even spare the effort to complain that what he had in front of his eyes was supposed to be impossible.

So he gave up.

The ponies introduced themselves, one after another. He gave them his own name, too. Of course. Hearing his normal, perfectly unassuming name, after names like Twilight Sparkle, Applejack and Rainbow Dash only made the whole mess all the more surreal. Then Twilight went into a flurry of questions.

He didn't have anything better to do, so he answered them as best as he could. Which, because he was a twelve year old boy, wasn't really all that good. He was lacking in a lot of areas. Though that didn't really matter. He could have made up on the spot everything about him, about his life, his people, his society, and it would have be fine, anyway, since they didn't know anything about humans. He didn't want to do that, though. Repaying their help with lying to them, even if it their kindness was fake and they were only after their own interests, would have be wrong. Maybe it was stupid, but it just was how he was. After everything that had happened he didn't want to repay these people with the only thing he had be repaid with since the accident.

History wasn't his strongest point, to say the least, but even what little he could remember horrified the creatures. Fluttery had been on the verge of fainting. Again. In return for his answers, he got a history lesson of his own. Just when he thought the weirdness would stop, something even more unbelievable came up. He could have laughed, but it wasn't funny at all. That the sun and the moon didn't move naturally, but by the will of really long lived princesses who had power as if they were gods. That the weather was controlled by the Pegasus, one of their species of ponies. An Empire that had disappeared without a trace after those princesses killed a evil ruler that acted like a saturday morning cartoon villain. The Elements Of Harmony, special magic objects, and what had happened to them because of those things.

It really was jut too much for him, and in too little time. But he had ripped apart that large black dog that had very nearly killed him without even touching it, so he didn't have any right to complain that those things were too strange and jut plain impossible. That image came to his mind, with such stark clarity that it was like it was in front of his eyes again. He remembered. Yes, he remembered. The sensation burning inside himself, pulling out his power. The wave of power that tore the dog apart like its skin was as thick as paper. And, most of all, that pleasure. That pure, animalistic pleasure of putting it in it's place, of slaughtering prey. It had pleased him so much he had wanted to do it again.

Hi vision swayed twice right in front of his eyes. He bended over at the waist, feeling a hellish nausea as if his organs had come up his throat. There were worried shouts, but to him it almost seemed like they were a world way. He whipped his head to the side, and puked. Right there, on the floor. He puked what little he had on his stomach, and he kept on puking. Even though there wasn't anything inside anymore, he jut kept t it.

Trembling, cold as ice, tears streaking down his face. That was the miserable state he was at the end of it all. His troth felt raw, and he could taste the blood in his mouth. Suddenly, without any reason, he started laughing. No reason? Well, that wasn't the whole truth. It wasn't funny at all, but he couldn't help but think about his life. That he had thought that he could find place to belong here and live his life in peace, but even in this world he was miserable. It really was funny. Was it simply his fate? If he couldn't escape, if he couldn't find normal happiness again. Then...

Wouldn't it be better to disappear right here?

He didn't attempt to push that thought away, nor did he felt disgust. If anything, it cleared out his hazy, confused mind. He had tried to do so once before, so that idea wasn't alien to him. He didn't remember it clearly, but still, he remembered. Finally having enough, and sneaking away at night. Grabbing a knife from the kitchen and holding it just over his left waist. His hand trembled. But not because he was afraid of death, but of the pain. He saw himself slowly, painfully bleeding out in the kitchen's floor. That h e the only reason he hadn't ended it ll on that night.

But, that had be a mistake. He was afraid of the pain, so it had be a mistake. Because what was his life if not pain? There could be bright memories to be made, but he didn't hve no reason to hope for such a thing, and, in any case, the only thing he saw when looking at his future was darkness. Pain, fear, guilt. Slowly bleeding out; that was life. So just a minute or two of pain to end it all... it sounded wonderful.

"Good." he gave a weary little chuckle. He closed his eyes, and opened them again. The puke had disappeared, as if by magic. Because that was what it was. "I was better off dead from the begin, anyway."

"What are you talking about?"

"Please... don't say that."

"Yeah! No matter how bad things get, you can't just give up!"

Oh, how nice of them. And how empty, too. They were such a nice society that human history horrified them, so he was pretty sure they couldn't even imagine his situation. Saying everything would be all right when they didn't even know the truth didn't comfort him. It just pissed him off.

"Yeah, yeah. Okay." he laid back down on the bed, slowly, as if to not puke again. He turned around, and buried his face on the cushion. He would wait until the night, until that pony went to sleep and then... then, he would do it. "You got what you wanted from me, right? Then jut leave alone already. I'm so tired."

"You... You can't say things like that. If you die, what then? It's over. You should cling tightly to your life for as long as you can." Twilight lectured him.

He didn't answer.