[Disclaimer] Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. I own the plot for this story.

[A/N] Welcome back to a new chapter. Thanks to those of you who are still with me. I am happy to know you by my side for this ride.

I have a question for you at the bottom and would appreciate it greatly if you took a moment to answer it. Thank you and have a nice weekend, everyone.

**Patience is bitter but its fruit is sweet**

(Jean-Jacques Rousseau)

Chapter 5

I hate waiting. I hate it even more when someone keeps me waiting.

My left foot taps impatiently against the empty chair across from my own seat while I check my phone for another time. I sip on the glass of ice water in front of me. My other hand is pressed against my rumbling stomach. With every minute that passes by my mood sinks lower.

Being hungry is not something I can handle with a smile on my face.

Finally the door at the other side of the restaurant opens and Jasper walks in. He waves his hand at me, grinning like he just hasn't kept me sitting around here on my own like a loser for twenty-five minutes.

Moron.

"Hey, Alice." He says, dropping his leather jacket over the back of the chair before he sits down. "How's it going?"

"You've kept me waiting a long time," I snap at him, lifting the glass up to drink thirstily. "I don't like that."

His blue eyes turn small when he bends his head in a ridiculous gesture. "My apologies, Ma'am."

I roll my eyes. "Let's just order something to eat now before I start eating those plastic flowers they put up for decoration."

Jasper waves at the waiter who has been leaning half-asleep in the corner for the past few minutes.

"We'd like to see the menu. Oh and we'll have two glasses of Merlot. 2009 if you have it."

"Just one glass," I correct. "But I'd like some more water please. Thank you."

He walks off, wiping his bald forehead with the napkin draped around his left arm. I lean back in my chair and sigh. "You can write the part about the wine when we are doing our report. I don't feel like drinking right now."

He stares at my chest, then down to my hand on my stomach. "Are you pregnant?"

Are you stupid? I think, nipping on my drink again. I push the little basket with garlic bread sticks over to him. They aren't homemade. One should expect a better appetizer in a restaurant of this price range.

"I am not pregnant." I state. "You know I can't get pregnant without a boyfriend."

Jasper smirks. "There are other options, Cullen. There are always other options."

The waiter returns, his hands quivering a bit when he pours the red wine into Jasper's glass. He's nervous. That probably means he recognized Jasper from a previous restaurant review he has written.

"The wine is on the house." he stutters awkwardly while his face becomes crimson and sweaty.

We order, steak for Jasper and some Chicken enchilada for myself. Tia Maria claims to be famous for home-cooked Mexican food;and a bit of spice will be nice before we have something sweet for dessert afterwards.

Jasper swirls the wine around in the glass and holds it up against the lamp above us. "This wine looks better than it's going to taste." He takes a sip, swishing it around in his mouth for a minute before he swallows slowly. "Dry, like an ass without lube," he states. "Care to try yourself?"

I shake my head no. "I had a bad hangover yesterday, and want to stay away from alcohol for a while."

"Getting busted isn't good for your health, Sunshine. If you want to keep this job, it's necessary that you learn how to drink wine like a fine lady."

He holds the glass up to my mouth, cupping my chin in his hand. I take a tiny sip.

"Hold it on your tongue and close your eyes." He commands. "Now swallow, but slowly."

The wine is too dry. I wrinkle my nose and mumble a thank you to Jasper. He's annoying, yes. However, I doubt I can learn as much from anyone else, as I learn from him.

"So, has Swan called you back yet?" Jasper asks, playing with the thick leather cuff around his left wrist. "I bet she hasn't."

"How do you know?" I wonder, probably sounding a bit too curious. I am acting like it matters whether she calls or not. It shouldn't matter. She's just a messy woman who saw me drunk – and naked, I add, feeling my cheeks turn a bit warmer.

"She's shy. Plus she's just beginning to get over her break-up with the Barbie zombie. Lauren is such a bitch. It's a shame how Bella let herself go because of her."

Our food arrives, and I wait until the waiter walks off before I quickly take a picture of my plate with my cell. I dip my fork into the cheese crust and sigh. Cheese is simple and yet it's always a risk. If you use too much it will overpower the rest of the dish. Using the wrong kind of cheese will ruin the complexity of the different ingredients melting together.

"The poor cow died twice." Jasper mumbles. "First, when she was shot and the second time when they put her on the grill until she turned to coal."

I giggle. It's unprofessional to laugh but I can't fight the impulse. I eat a few forks of my own dish, wondering if they ran out of chili in the kitchen. The cheese crust is crisp, salty, and perfect. The food underneath though is boring and loveless.

"Tia Maria probably went back to Mexico a long time ago, running away from the awful food served in her restaurant."

Jasper grins. "That's a good line to start our report. You should write it down. By the way, I finished my evaluation about your mother's restaurant. Would you like to read it?"

I tell him yes while I push the plate away on the table unwilling to continue eating. What use is there in eating more of this tasteless food? It's not going to get any better by eating more. I start feeling bad for the waiter. It's not his fault that the food in this place sucks.

"So, Bella and this Lauren bitch just broke up?" I ask Jasper, trying to sound like I don't care about his answer at all. "Have they been together for a long time?"

Our dessert arrives and I end up eating mine and half of Jasper's caramel flan. This sweet deliciousness is definitely the highlight in this place. I will emphasize that in my report.

Jasper loves to gossip like a bored old housewife. He tells me a lot about messy Bambi Eyes. Her full name is Isabella Marie Swan. She's from Florida, two years younger than me and has been with Lauren – the bitch – for a year before things turned out badly.

"I don't want her to get hurt again." He states, running the tip of his thumb over the rim of his barely touched wine glass. "She's too sensitive for shit but her heart is in the right place."

"I am not looking for a relationship." I tell him, licking a bit of caramel from my spoon.

"You have never been in a relationship." Jasper says and I hate that he's right. Yes, I've had sex before with women. I have been out for dinner and to the movies. However, that's not the same as being in a committed relationship with someone. It is alright to hide your one-night stands from your family. It is something completely different to cover the fact that you have a girlfriend from the people you love.

My stomach clenches a bit. Why is it so awfully hard for me to get over with coming out? All I have to do is say the words, break the truth to my parents and let them know who I really am.

"I don't think Bam- I mean Bella is looking for a serious relationship either. " I mumble. "Who takes a stranger home with her, whom she picked up at a bar?"

Jasper holds his nose and gulps down the content of his wine with a look of disgust on the face. "Please spare me the details about how you two munched each other's muffins. That's gross to me."

My face turns red. I can feel my cheeks glowing in the color of shame. "We didn't. I mean, I don't remember and she said nothing happened."

Jasper wipes his mouth and grins. "Lesbians are lame. I always knew that." He waves to the waiter and pays, granting the quivering mess of a man a hearty smile. My co-worker is an asshole to people. It's like he has fun intimidating them.

On the parking lot, I bite my tongue to keep me from asking Jasper for Bella's phone number. It can't be too hard to figure it out without embarrassing myself to Mr. Insensitive.

As soon as I'm on my way back to the office, my cell starts beeping. Great, I think, when I see an unknown number flashing over the screen. "Cullen," I say, trying my best to sound like I am too bored to talk.

"Sugar, it's me." My cousin's voice greets me. "I have a new cell. Some idiot at the club stole my phone. Do you know how much that sucks? Some men in that phone are lost forever now."

"I'm sorry," I mumble. "That really sucks. How's the restaurant going?"

"We are booked out until the end of next week. So I would say the opening was a big success. Our mothers are thrilled, as you can imagine."

I am happy for Mom and Aunt Sasha. They worked so hard for making their dream of an own restaurant come true. It makes me even more proud how my mother refused to accept money from Dad for the opening. She's so thick headed. I wonder if I inherited a bit of my stubbornness from her side.

"Ali, are you still there?" Tanya asks impatiently. "I called because I was worried about you."

I hold the phone between my neck and ear while my fingers grip around the steering wheel. "I am fine. I spent the whole day sleeping in my bed after I got home." I cough and clear my throat before I continue. "Have you ever been so drunk that you couldn't remember what happened?"

"What did you do?" She asks. "Give me all the dirty details. My own love life is suckish at the moment."

A sigh leaves my mouth. I love Tanya, but she's always so curious. "I don't remember what happened."

"Why?" Tanya asks. "Did you hit your head and have amnesia?"

"I had martini with Jasper's friend and before that I had wine at home, and this yucky vodka milk that you made me drink. You know I can't handle alcohol. Her name is Bella. That's Italian for beautiful. Next thing I know is that I wake up naked on her couch."

"So, that is what your type looks like? I was always wondering what women you like."

"Tanya…," I start, hoping she will just drop the subject now.

"It's always the quiet ones. You are a naughty girl, Cullen. I knew you had it in you. Be glad my sneaky sisters didn't see you making out with her. That is not the way you want them to find out." She clicks her tongue loudly while something sizzles in the background. "So, Bella isn't Jasper's girlfriend like Iri assumed? She scores for her own team?"

"She's a lesbian like me." I say. "Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to wake up and having to ask her what happened? She must think I am a fucking alcoholic."

Tanya laughs. I hate that she's laughing. The situation isn't anything to laugh about.

"Sugar, you are so naïve. Let me give you a tip." She laughs again. "If you have a black out, just pretend you know what happened. Get her to tell you what you did by asking casual questions. I bet you freaked and got all hysterical instead playing it cool."

"Why aren't you a police officer?" I ask. "You are so good with portraying a poker face."

My cousin curses under her breathe. "Damn it, those onions are black now instead of crispy brown. God, I hate working here, but I can't quit. It would break Mom's heart."

Tanya and I keep talking until I reach the parking lot of my workplace again. She wants me to come over to her place once I finish work for the day. I love our girl's night. Well, actually she watches soccer while I do her hair and paint our toe nails. It's fun though. There's always chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate involved. Tanya makes literally the best hot chocolate in the universe. The whole ice from an Alaskan winter would melt away if it got to take a sip from this cocoa sugar heaven.

On my way up to my office again, I think over T's words. She's not happy working at the restaurant. Not because she dislikes kitchen work like myself, but because working with your mother as your boss is difficult. Aunt Sasha and her daughters are close. Maybe it's because she raised them without a father. Or it's because my cousins don't keep things hidden from their Mom.

I sigh, dropping my handbag underneath my desk when I reach my office. After kicking off my shoes and switching on the computer, I try to focus for a while.

It doesn't work well. First, I get called to make new coffee. I don't remember being hired as the fucking coffee girl, but since I am the youngest and newest around here, it seems like I am stuck with this job every time the fucking machine is empty.

After pouring myself a cup of coffee to get me going through the afternoon, I attempt to work again. My article for Tia Maria is shaping up nicely. The place sucked but I need to wrap that up without being too harsh. I am leaving that part of the job to Jasper. He insists the wine was disgusting and caused him heartburn. Should we warn people about that in our report?

I try to call Jasper's office to ask him, but he doesn't pick up. He's probably on the seventeenth floor again to pay Peter a visit. When I call there, no one answers either. I finish most of the article, but the part with the heartburn seems awkward to me. Wine and how it's supposed to taste like is still a new to me. I know that wine makes me do stupid things.

Every time I think about my inglorious night with Bella, my face feels like I've been out in the sun for too long. I am too warm and my heart beats faster for a while.

My cell phone doesn't show any new messages. She hasn't called yet, either. It probably means she won't.

It's my pride that is hurt about that, not my heart. Bella Swan doesn't know what she's missing out on. I would have helped her to clean out that messy place she lives in and turned it into something pretty.

I decide to start looking for Jasper. He's not in his office, like I already assumed. The creepy computer guy who works at the office across from Jazz, waves his hand at me and grins like a shark. Stupid nerd.

"Hi Milk Chocolate," he greets me and I roll my eyes. "Did the ink run out of color when God printed you?"

Does he actually think this is a good way to make conversation with me? Idiot.

"Leave me the fuck alone, Tyler." I snap, turning around on my heels so fast I stumble, almost losing my balance to fall face forward on the carpet. I head for the floor where Peter's office is located.

The secretary is nice. I chat a few minutes with Charlotte whose desk is crowded with pictures of her two-year-old son, Riley.

I tell her that he looks tall for his age and like he's smart. That is what mothers like to hear about their kids, right? Aunt Sasha is a sucker for people saying things like that about Vasili.

There are silly chuckles coming from Peter's office. The door is slightly ajar. I forget to knock just to make a point. This is an office and not a place to make out in the light of day.

Jasper's kissing Peter when I enter. It's one of those too intimate kisses that are not meant to be seen by others. Peter's hands are in Jasper's blond hair, pulling him close. I have a lump in my throat. The way Jasper holds Peter's face between both of his hands. It's the same way Dad kisses Mom when they think nobody is watching them. Love is always the same.

My heart feels too small in my chest when I realize no one has ever kissed me like that. When I get kissed, I have to focus on keeping my eyes closed. Tanya taught me that. Always keep your eyes shut because otherwise, you come off like a freak.

"Cullen,"

Jasper, who doesn't fully seem to play by the kiss with your eyes closed rule, has noticed me. I feel like I've been caught watching them.

"I was looking for you," I stutter. "You need to read through my article for the Mexican place. Can you do that now or are you and Peter too busy?"

Peter laughs. He's a nice guy who is responsible for the internet appearance of the company. I really don't get what he sees in someone as arrogant as Hale, but it's probably because I am not into guys.

I am not into guys. Maybe those are exactly the words I should be using when I finally dare to come out to my family.

A/N:

I would like to know apart from reading fan fiction, what other kind of lesbian books do you enjoy? Because, I find it difficult to find literature that appeals to me. Where do you go to find it? Also, when it comes to reading a story, what matters to you? Good plot? Great sex scenes? Angst? Humor? Characters, that you can relate to?

As some of you may know, it is one of my dreams to become a published author one day and I am trying to get a feeling for people's likes and dislikes in lesbian fiction.