A/N: Okay, so this chapter has been fully and completely betaed by the incomparable miladyRanger, but it's being posted by an author who's slightly out of it due to a migraine earlier, so if there's a posting mistake, please let me know.

This is definitely a chapter to check those warnings in the end notes.

Chapter 30

"I was jus' talking to myself, but now I'm talkin' to the two of you," Heiji said. "You really are the same person, aren't ya? Or, somethin' like it." He paused, as a realization hit. "Oh, f***, there's magic involved here, someplace, ain't there?"

"Hold on, Hattori," Shinichi murmured. "Rumored immortality-granting gems and mermaid legends are one thing. But two of the same person would be…" he trailed off, but his shoulders were hunched in uncertainty, not set in confidence.

Heiji decided to take a chance. "It fits the evidence, though, don't it?"

"It does," Shinichi allowed, slumping outright. "I won't say I've eliminated the impossible yet, but I know of more improbable truths."

"Much more improbable truths," Eisuke agreed quietly, gaze intense.

Hakuba let out a small laugh. "Do you know, half my reason for not saying anything in all this time was that I was quite certain I wouldn't be believed?"

"Well, I don't think that's quite the case anymore, Hakuba-san," Kaito said. "So…it's up to you. But you know, if you wanted to be a little honest about things, I think this is safe company."

"Hardly," Hakuba said, and he was back to his own voice again. And there was a difference, an easily noticeable one, now that Hakuba was listening for it. "KID's secrets are…"

Kaito took a deep breath, looking as cautious as he had when first speaking to Hakuba. There was something tentative, almost gentle, to his body language. "They know."

Hakuba blinked, then jerked backward.

"Certainly you can't mean—"

"I do," Kaito said, grin a bit crooked. "They know my name, they know why I'm KID—pretty much the only thing that's off limits is Mom, because, um, the whole Corbeau thing."

Hakuba scowled fiercely. "Ah, that."

"They weren't fans, either, for what it's worth!" Kaito said quickly. "And—and I didn't tell them! Tantei-kun figured me out and then waited to tell me until he thought I wouldn't panic. And they all said they wouldn't get me arrested. Because they get it. What doing that would mean."

Hakuba glanced around the room, wide-eyed. "Is he being accurate? I know he wouldn't lie deliberately, not about this, but sometimes memory distorts…"

"That's about right," Heiji said. "I think Kudou mighta been waitin' for a good time ta get a funny reaction, honestly, but part o' that was makin' sure that when he said it, he'd only startle Kuroba-han, not scare th' life outta 'im."

The smirk that slid across Shinichi's face was better than verbal confirmation.

"So they know," Hakuba said to Kaito. "That's an incredible risk. You could have lied your way out of it, I'm certain."

"Maybe," Kaito said. "But I didn't really want to. I…I can't really say 'trust,' that's an exaggeration, but…I know them, well enough to know what they'll do."

"And that's as close as we get to trust, isn't it?" Hakuba said, in a tone somewhere between laughing and bitter.

It took Heiji a few seconds to register that "we."

"So, you're not going to yell that I've been foolish again?" Kaito asked, grin crooked.

"I want to, but it might be time to admit I've been projecting a bit," Hakuba said, mirroring the expression. "Projecting is…a bit easy, given circumstances."

Heiji wanted more than anything to ask what, exactly, those circumstances were, but he could see it would be a mistake. Hakuba was…shaky, that was the best word for it, wavering between the body language Heiji knew as his and the set Heiji thought of as Kaito's. This wasn't the time to push.

"So, they know about me, and you've all but admitted to your circumstances," Kaito said. "Can we speak freely?"

"This isn't a promise to come back with you," Hakuba said. "I haven't made that promise, and I'm not doing so now."

"We'll get to that," Kaito said, grinning. "For now, can we at least discuss it with everything on the table?"

"Very well," Hakuba said. "Shall I re-introduce myself?" He turned away from Kaito, to face Heiji, Shinichi and Eisuke. "I haven't made use of the name Kuroba Kaito in some four years, but it was once given to me. As Hattori-san suspects, there was an incident involving witchcraft which led to my presence here."

"Here?" Heiji asked, not quite able to keep a lid on his curiosity anymore. "Ya keep talking about 'here' but I dunno what ya mean by it. Are ya talkin' about London or what?"

"Well, I suppose 'now' would be the correct term, but I think some imprecision is allowable, given circumstances," Hakuba said calmly. "Time, rather than space, is the axis I've moved across."

"You're talking about time travel," Eisuke said quietly.

"I am," Hakuba replied.

"What the—no," Shinichi said. "You can't really expect us to believe that—"

"It's true," Kaito interrupted. "It's how he's been helping out at heists. There's been a few times that, no matter how good his intel was, he just shouldn't have been able to know what he knew. But he did, somehow, and this is why."

"But—that would mean this is the good timeline," Shinichi said, visibly agitated now.

"Think of how the bad timeline must have been," Hakuba said, and though Heiji thought he might have meant that as a joke, it was ruined by the hint of real distress showing through in his eyes.

"Better yet, don't," Kaito said, quietly.

Hakuba's eyes jerked to him in an instant. "What did you figure out?"

"I'm pretty sure you were there when Shinichi got poisoned," Kaito said. "I have a guess about why that I could live forever without having confirmed."

Hakuba just exhaled slowly. "I thought I had taken all their weapons. I thought the pill case had pills in it, like a pill case bloody well ought to."

Shinichi stared at him, slack-jawed.

"I panicked when they noticed him; I hadn't guessed they would improvise a weapon, but I was hoping they'd just leave him with blunt force trauma," Hakuba continued. "More the fool I. I thought they had killed him, again, and—"

"Again?" Shinichi said, and the words sounded caught in his throat.

Hakuba shrugged a bit helplessly. "I met you once, in my timeline—at the Clocktower. After that, I heard Ao—a friend reading an article about your death, after they'd dredged your body up from the river. You'd gone missing in Tropical Land weeks before. The coroner said you'd been shot through the skull."

Heiji cursed as he watched Kudou go pale.

"I've said again and again that it wasn't an appealing timeline," Hakuba said, almost dispassionately. "No one listens." He turned to Heiji. "Before anyone else asks, I haven't the faintest idea what happened to you or Eisuke. You never came to heists, and I'd never met Eisuke at all before America."

Heiji had some uncomfortable suspicions, himself, but he didn't want to air them, not with Shinichi still so wide-eyed and unsteady-looking. Carefully, he wrapped an arm around his friend's back and pulled him in just a bit closer to his side. It wasn't an easy thing, after all, contemplating how near your brushes with death had been.

"So, no Kudou," he said aloud. "That does sound like a crap timeline."

"It was, indeed," Hakuba said tightly. He'd dug into his pocket for his pocket watch and was running his fingers across the edge of the lid. "I was glad to leave it—"

Kaito jerked upright. "Excuse me, what?"

"I said, I was glad to—"

"I heard you," Kaito said, eyes narrowed. "But I told you earlier. Akako told me what would have had to happen for you to get here. The spell she told me about—you would have had to die for that to work—and you're telling me you're glad?"

Hakuba drew himself up, pocket watch gripped in a white-knuckled-hand. "I was all but the last to go, Kuroba-san. Jii-san, Akako, Inspector Nakamori, Aoko—I lost them all, and all because of KID. Because I was KID. What else could a second chance be, but a blessing?"

Distantly, Heiji was aware of a choked feeling in his throat, but his thoughts were too clogged with horror at what he was hearing to really register it.

Kaito stared at him, eyes wide. "We got them killed?"

"I did," Hakuba corrected. "You've grown past such foolishness already, I made sure of it. Kudou and I presenting a nonlethal challenge trained you to take other threats more seriously. So you were ready for Nightmare."

"No I wasn't!" Kaito protested. "I let him fall!"

Heiji sucked in a breath. Dude, you did not just confess to manslaughter in front of a bunch of homicide detectives.

"You couldn't hold him up one-handed, and he wouldn't grab your other hand," Hakuba said. "I still blame myself as well, but no court would convict either of us. Don't mislead the detectives; it's unkind."

Heiji glared at him. He seemed not to notice.

"You succeeded not in saving Jack Connery, but in taking him seriously from the beginning," Hakuba said, voice all but flat and eyes distant. "I, on the other hand, laughed in the face of his threats until he carried the first of them out."

"But—he threatened to kill—" Kaito broke off. "No."

"Things spiraled out from that point," Hakuba said, tone still unsettlingly flat. "Akako attempted to slow the approaching disaster, and died in the attempt. Inspector Nakamori was pushed out of the Task Force and asked too many questions about his replacements, Aoko saw his 'accident' for what it was and refused to let it lie."

Kaito was rigid, his face absolutely bloodless and his eyes wide.

"And that, you see, is what I would have had you and your mother not know, when I asked her not to pursue the matter," Hakuba said. "And you were quite right before, I don't approve of her. My mother showed up as Corbeau as a last resort, to get me out of Ekoda before those wearing black in the police killed me, as well. Yours wore that face for a test. Something went wrong, between the timelines."

"She still left ya alone when you were a kid, though, right?" Heiji asked.

Kudou elbowed him, hard.

"Inspector Nakamori looked after me sufficiently," Hakuba said, drawing himself up. "It wasn't good of her, I can see that now, but it wasn't on the same scale as the way she planned to use Corbeau against Kaito."

"Against that Kaito, you mean?" Eisuke said, pointing at him.

"Wow, rude," Kaito said, a little shakily.

Eisuke flushed. "I guess I've been in America too long; I'm picking up the customs."

The tension broke, just a little, and Kaito actually smiled slightly.

"I don't really think of myself as Kaito anymore," Hakuba said. He glanced at Kaito. "That is Kaito. I'm Saguru. It was odd at first, but this is his timeline, and I've been playing this part for a while."

"But now you've given up being Saguru as well," Kaito reminded.

"I suppose I have."

"What will you do now, if you don't go back?" Eisuke asked.

"Continue pursuing the group who wear black, I suppose," Hakuba said.

"They'll kill you," Kudou warned. "They're looking for you, and as soon as they find you…"

"I'll be careful," Hakuba said.

"You'll do better with allies," Heiji said.

Hakuba twitched, just a bit, his expression skeptical. "You don't even like me."

"How many people do I gotta explain th' diff'rence between dislikin' someone an' wantin' 'em dead to?" Heiji asked. "'Sides, did it ever occur ta ya that all o' us in this room want the same thing an' it might be easier if we were all in contact ta try for it together?" He sighed. "An' you're s'posed to be a genius."

Kaito glared at him.

Whoops. "No offense, Kaito," he said quickly. "Time travel prob'ly knocked off some IQ points, is all."

Kudou's elbow jabbed into his ribs hard enough to hurt.

"Cut it out, Kudou!" he snapped, rubbing his ribs. "That actually hurt!"

Kudou didn't look too repentant.

There was a faint snickering sound, and when Heiji looked up, Kaito was staring at Hakuba, who was actually smiling, however faintly.

"Oi, it's not that funny," Hattori muttered, crossing his arms and slumping back on the couch.

"He did have a point," Kudou pressed.

"You don't really need my help," Hakuba said. "You'll manage well enough on your own."

"I think the concern here is that you won't," Eisuke said. "Or, at least, that if you don't, we won't find out, and neither will anyone else who cares about you."

Hakuba sighed. "There wasn't supposed to be anyone else who cared about me," he said, not quite meeting anyone's eyes. "I wasn't supposed to be this involved. The plan was to get acquainted with, perhaps even befriend, the Japanese police superintendent-general, not to be adopted by him-but he offered, and it would have been suspicious to say no, particularly when I intended to move to Japan regardless. And I may have joined the Task Force, but I was hardly Inspector Nakamori's ideal subordinate. I deliberately made your life difficult, antagonized Aoko in doing so, and barely spoke to anyone else at school. And yet somehow-"

"You're a good person under the arrogant jerk act and they recognized that," Kaito said.

"Isn't that a bit self-serving?" Hakuba asked.

"You're the one who said we were different people," Kaito replied.

Hakuba slumped slightly. "I am, aren't I?"

Heiji was struck, suddenly, by how tired Hakuba looked when he wasn't strung tight with defensive anger or projecting a facade with every bit of willpower he could muster.

Apparently, he wasn't the only one who'd noticed. "Are you okay?" Eisuke asked, almost gently.

"I am fine," Hakuba said, sitting back up.

"So, how long has it been since you last slept?" Kudou asked, clearly not convinced.

Hakuba didn't meet his eyes.

"Hakuba-san?" Kaito prompted.

"You won't approve," Hakuba said quietly.

Kaito frowned. "Are you doing the pre-heist thing where we basically just work now and do everything else later, but all the time?"

Hakuba flinched, then regarded him blankly.

That's as good as a yes, from either of them, Heiji thought.

"When was the last time you ate?" Kaito asked, looking alarmed.

Hakuba opened his mouth.

"Full meals, only," Kaito amended.

Hakuba shut his mouth and looked mildly alarmed himself.

"Is the answer to that question going to involve me?" Eisuke asked.

"We're going to have to discuss precisely what constitutes a meal," Hakuba said.

"You're staying here tonight, getting dinner, and sleeping, or Kudou-san darts you, and you at least sleep," Kaito declared.

"You promised-" Hakuba started, then broke off. "And Kudou didn't. I see."

Kudou gave him the smile that most people only saw a few minutes before the police snapped the handcuffs closed. It was a little intimidating on a reasonably tall teenager but unsettling as all heck on a seeming first grader.

"I promised not to force you to go back to Japan," Kaito said, a little more gently. "But you need to sleep. And clearly you're not doing so on your own. If Kudou darts you, you'll wake up here."

"I really shouldn't underestimate you four, should I?" Hakuba asked.

"No, you shouldn't," Eisuke said. "While we're forcibly taking care of him, should someone check the bandages on that injury we used to find him?"

"Did you find me with blood samples?" Hakuba asked, sounding alarmed.

"Don't worry, Mom's got a poker buddy who's a forensic tech and also very confused, now," Kaito said. "So, bandages?"

"I bandaged it," Hakuba said defensively.

"Have you changed the bandage, since then?" Kudou pressed. "It's been days."

Hakuba didn't even bother answering.

Eisuke huffed out a laugh. "This time I'm actually physically present, so I'll get the first aid kit."

"You actually brought one?" Kaito asked.

Eisuke frowned at him. "You didn't?"

Hakuba actually laughed. "He knows you well enough."

"So, what exactly did you hurt?" Eisuke asked, getting up to rummage through his suitcase.

"Just my forearm, really," Hakuba said. "I take it you know the circumstances?"

"You know we investigated," Kudou replied.

"Hansen went through the window first-I did not push him, he lost his balance while he had me in a partial hold, and I didn't really have time to get out of it before we were both through the glass," Hakuba said. "So he caught most of it, but I managed to break a bit of glass he hadn't shattered with my extended arm. My sleeve was shredded, and my arm came out a bit the worse as well."

"So, we can probably get away with just gauze…" Eisuke murmured to himself. "That's good, I left the big first aid kit in Virginia…"

"Do we want to know what's in the big first aid kit?" Kudou asked, half-amused.

"While Eisuke takes care of that, how about Kudou and I get food?" Heiji suggested.

He caught Kaito's eye. You're on guard, he all but said aloud.

Kaito nodded, face serious. Then, he grinned. "Can you just get me what you got last night? It looked good."

Heiji shrugged. "Easy enough."

"Remember the burger I thought looked too big last night?" Eisuke asked. "It does not look too big now."

"Okay," Heiji said. "Kudou and I can figure things out when we get there. Hakuba?"

Hakuba blinked. "Ah...I'm fine with anything, really. Except...ah…"

"They know about that, too," Kaito said.

"I've desensitized myself somewhat," Hakuba said. "But eating it is…"

Both of them shuddered at the same time, in almost exactly the same way. It was a little fascinating, but also kinda creepy.

"Okay, none of the thing Kaito doesn't like," Heiji said. "But really. Pick something."

Hakuba just shrugged.

Eisuke glanced at him. "Okay, between soup, or a sandwich?"

"Soup, I think," Hakuba said. "But you really don't have to-"

"You worried the heck out of us, let us give you food," Kaito said. "Please. Just-"

Hakuba shrunk into himself, just a bit. "That certainly wasn't what I-"

"Soup, right?" Heiji interrupted. Sendin' him on a guilt spiral ain't gonna accomplish anythin'.

"If you're insisting," Hakuba said, relaxing just a touch.

"We are," Heiji said, getting up. "We'll be back soon. No one order takeout while we're gone."

It was a dumb joke, and no one laughed But he'd tried, at least.

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A/N: Warnings: portrayal of heavy-duty self-worth issues and maladaptive guilt. Discussion of past major character death in some detail, including very specific methods in one case (Shinichi). Expression of something close enough to a suicidal thought to have the potential to be upsetting, though it is not one, precisely (Starts at "I heard you" ends with "blessing," if you're avoiding). Discussion of poor self-care related to not eating and sleeping enough. Generally, heavy implications that a character is in a poor state of mental health. Also, brief discussion of a phobia.

Pointing at someone the way Eisuke does in this chapter would be pretty rude in Japanese culture. Actually, it would also be rude among peers in America, but Eisuke doesn't have a lot of casual peer interactions with Americans, so he's basing things off of school, where the teachers point at people all the time. Shinichi, whose parents live in America and who probably gave him a crash course in the culture before he visited them in New York, is already planning to take him aside at some point before he goes back to the States, so he doesn't embarrass himself.

Now, for the list of people who guessed things about Hakuba correctly-oddly enough, all the guesses relevant to this chapter (correct and not) came from AO3. First, donahermurphy guessed that Heiji would notice the similarities between Kaito and Hakuba. Sarah guessed that Aoko was dead, and that Saguru's reason for always treating Conan as a detective was that he knew what had happened to him in the other timeline. Also, shinyivyleaves guessed that something bad happened to Aoko, the Task Force found out KID's identity, and Task Force members got hurt (well, one did, close enough). Finally, Scedasticity guessed that Saguru tried to prevent Shinichi's poisoning. You all get your choice of internet bread pudding or internet white chocolate fudge as a prize.