A/N: I am tired, and I have been sick a lot recently, and this chapter was written in much more of a hurry than it ought to have been as a result. If not for miladyRanger, there is a decent chance I wouldn't even have tried to post tonight. But she did last-minute edits and we are all saved.
On naming: First, it's come to my attention that I haven't been consistent with Oficer Hashimoto's relationship to Superintendent-General Hakuba in this series. I have settled on him being Shiyomi's nephew (and thus Tsuyoshi's by marriage), and will, when I have time, edit the series for consistency to reflect that decision. Also, as it is a bit relevant, I refer to the boss of the organization as "that person" in dialogue and narration, rather than "anokata" or "the boss." If you are curious about this choice, ask me in a review; I like talking about translation choices!
Also, for those of you who don't visit my tumblr, Riddle in Reverse turned a year old, and I put what I'd do to celebrate up to a vote. The tumblr people asked for a short thing from Saguru's POV. I let my beta choose what I'd write from his POV, and she chose Sunset Mansion. So please look forward to that (but also be prepared to wait; I'm currently having enough trouble keeping up with the fic because Real Life is A Challenge right now).
As always, warnings are in the end notes
Chapter 31
Eisuke knew he had to be the first one to walk into the bathroom, because Hakuba, as keyed up as he was right now, would not appreciate anyone following him into a closed space, especially not with something big and bulky enough to use as a weapon in their hands.
The first aid kit would be a really terrible weapon, actually, but Eisuke was pretty sure Hakuba's paranoia had never gotten that memo.
Eisuke had expected his Kaito-and-Shinichi-inspired trip through internet resources on trauma and PTSD to become useful eventually, but this wasn't really how or when he'd expected it to come up. Then again, nothing in his life was how he expected it, lately.
He couldn't help noticing all the ways Hakuba was like Kiyoshi-or all the ways she'd been like him, more accurately. In his facial expressions, especially-the tired little half-grins, the quirked eyebrows, and that patient, penetrating stare that Eisuke had learned to be properly wary of when it came from Kiyoshi. There were other things in his posture and movements that were familiar, too. It was strange; he knew Hakuba, and yet he didn't at all.
He set the first aid kit on the rim of the sink and gestured for Hakuba to sit down on the edge of the bathtub. Hakuba kept his back to the wall the whole way there; it was honestly worrying.
"Can you uncover the wound without taking off your shirt?" Eisuke asked, keeping his tone brisk.
This doesn't have to be awkward, he told himself.
Hakuba visibly stiffened. "Of course." He unbuttoned and started rolling up his sleeve, eyes on the floor.
"I could do this myself," he said quietly.
"Maybe, but not well," Eisuke replied. "Medical tape is tricky one-handed, isn't it?"
Hakuba winced, and held up his arm to inspect his own bandaging job. "I suppose my handiwork does leave something to be desired."
To be fair, Eisuke had made worse messes of gauze pads, but he'd usually thrown them out and tried again. Hakuba had actually torn the top layer of gauze in a few places while trying to get the pad into position and taped. The tape only sometimes managed to be both on skin and gauze; most of the time it was only on one or the other. Really, it was kind of remarkable that it had stayed in place to soak up enough blood that the stains were showing through.
"Do you want to take it off yourself?" Eisuke asked.
Hakuba winced. "I think I had better." He tugged at one of the corners, then ripped it off. His expression never changed.
Right. Kaito's weird my-response-to-certain-stressors-is-to-stop-emoting thing.
The collection of variously-sized gashes underneath looked a bit red and somewhat irritated, but to Eisuke's relatively untrained eye, it didn't actually look infected.
Best to take precautions, though, he thought.
"Why don't you toss that, and I'll disinfect those again, just in case," Eisuke said, getting down the first-aid kit and rummaging for the disinfectant wipes.
He registered the sound of something landing in the trashcan as he found the wipes and opened one.
"You ready?" he asked Hakuba.
Hakuba nodded, and Eisuke ran the wipe across the cuts. Hakuba's expression didn't even shift slightly.
Eisuke just barely kept himself from sighing out loud as he pulled a gauze pad and the roll of medical tape out of the kit. He was halfway through tearing the packaging on the gauze pad open when Hakuba spoke again.
"Kiyoshi wasn't a trick," Hakuba said softly. "Or...she wasn't meant to be."
Eisuke took a deep breath. "I know that. I've known that."
Hakuba blinked. "You…"
"If you'd just been playing head games, you'd have made sure you were able to see my reaction," Eisuke said, getting out the antibiotic cream. "But that wasn't it, was it? We both mistook each other for complete civilians."
Eisuke spent a few seconds spreading antibiotic cream over the gauze, trying to ignore the heavy silence that had fallen, then prodded, "Am I right?"
"Yes," Hakuba admitted.
"Well, then," Eisuke said. "In a way, what you did was incredibly brave. You were running from us, pursuing Them...and yet somehow you found time and energy to put toward taking care of a neighbor boy you had no obligation to and would likely never see again."
"You seemed lonely," Hakuba said. "And you did injure yourself on my property, after all."
"You know me well enough to know I can injure myself on anything," Eisuke stressed, pressing the gauze in place. "This may hurt for just a bit."
"Thank you for the warning," Hakuba replied, not even flinching. "And yes, I do know you well enough to be aware of that distressing tendency of yours."
Eisuke started unwinding the medical tape, feeling just a bit wistful. "I don't know you nearly as well, though. I know Kiyoshi, and Kaito, but not you."
Hakuba ducked his head as Eisuke secured the first strip of medical tape, holding the end in place with his thumb and carefully lining it up with the edge of the gauze.
"Just...add that to your pile of 'reasons to come back,' okay?" Eisuke asked. "I'd like to get to know you. I'd like to keep talking to you."
"You'll be in America," Hakuba said, still not looking up.
Eisuke ripped off the tape and started fastening down the next side. "I could videocall you, like I've been doing with the others. Maybe even along with the others. But if you leave, really leave, you won't be giving us contact information, will you?"
"You'd use it to track me," Hakuba said.
"Possibly," Eisuke allowed.
Silence fell as he finished taping down the gauze. When he was done, Hakuba held up his arm, again, inspecting it like he had the old set of bandages-probably testing his mobility this time as well. Eisuke had expected that and had made the tape pretty loose.
"Thank you," Hakuba said quietly.
"You don't have to thank me," Eisuke said. "If you want to, though, you can take better care of yourself."
"I'm surprised you didn't jump straight to 'go back to Japan'," Hakuba said.
"That's emotional blackmail," Eisuke said, getting up and heading for the bathroom door. "It's more Kudou than me."
Hakuba let out a huff of air that might have been a chuckle.
Eisuke emerged into the larger room just in time for Heiji and Conan to come through the door.
"Food's here," Heiji said, dropping a bag of carryout containers and beverages on the table. He made no move, however, to pass around the food, or even to take his own and begin eating.
Shinichi set a smaller bag on the table beside it, then glanced at Eisuke.
Shinichi, on closer inspection, looked worryingly tired. It wasn't that late, even for a little kid, but they'd been walking all day and he'd had a pretty rough time of it the day before, between dehydration and minor injuries. Besides, the conversation earlier couldn't have been easy for him to listen to or think about. And Heiji looked off, too...not exactly tired or stressed, but something of both, maybe. He'd never really gotten a chance to cool down, after running around with Kaito all day, and he'd taken the lead when it came to unravelling Saguru's circumstances. Maybe everything had just built up to a point where he wasn't able to put up with it.
So, it was up to Eisuke now.
He herded everyone towards seats and distributed the food and drinks. To his dismay, everyone needed to be prodded into eating. But at least they were actually listening to him. Ultimately, Saguru was the first to snap at him.
"It's not as if I've been starving!"
"You said you weren't eating," Kaito said flatly.
"It's like you said-like heist preparation-I just-forget," Saguru said. "I do have food."
"You didn't leave with any money," Shinichi pointed out. "It's not like we don't have a basis for worrying."
"I was the bloody Kaitou KID, I can get money if I need it," Saguru said archly.
Eisuke was at least glad he could joke about it, a little. The others were less easily satisfied.
"We didn't know that," Shinichi protested shrilly.
"You're a thefts detective now, how was I supposed to know you'd still be willing to steal stuff?" Kaito asked, at nearly the same time. "Who knows what goes on inside your head?"
"Who wants to know what goes on inside his head?" Heiji muttered, a half-second later.
"I had methods," Hakuba said quietly. "I did before, and I do now. I tried to avoid outright theft, or crimes with individual victims, but most of it was not especially legal."
"Couldn't you just have done street magic or something?" Kaito asked.
"Putting aside how easily you would have tracked me if I'd tried it while avoiding you lot, street magic isn't worth it," Saguru said. "Not when you're actually trying to make a profit. Too much risk, too little reward."
Kaito raised an eyebrow at the word "risk."
"It's one thing to risk myself for KID's goals, another to do it for 200-odd pounds on a streetcorner," Saguru huffed. "As it turns out, there are benefits to having a few feet of stage between you and the belligerent drunks, to say nothing of the risks of being in a profession which marks you as someone likely to carry money on their person…"
"Okay, to be fair, that doesn't sound like a very good job," Shinichi said. "But couldn't you have at least tried something legal?"
"You, of all people, should be familiar with my reasons not to," Saguru said. "I have no legal identification save that I acquired as Hakuba Saguru. Most employers nowadays require some legal proof of your existence."
"Well, that right there's a reason to head back to Japan," Heiji muttered.
"You really think you'll talk me into going back because I want a job?" Hakuba asked, looking more baffled than anything.
"It was worth a shot?" Heiji offered, as Shinichi snickered at him.
Hakuba just shook his head and settled back into his seat. He didn't look happy, exactly, but some of the tension had gone out of him, and he at least seemed to be enjoying the soup.
The fit of giggles at Heiji's admittedly absurd suggestion seemed to have done Shinichi some good, too, though he still looked tired. And while Heiji looked put out, he also didn't look quite as overwhelmed as he had earlier.
But Hakuba's response to Heiji had tightened something in Kaito's posture. It was hard to pick out, unless you were looking for it, but everything was a little too straight, from his smile to the line of his back. Kaito wasn't dealing well with the idea that Hakuba was still undecided about coming home, it seemed.
"Hey, shouldn't we let Officer Hashimoto know we found Hakuba?" Kaito said, and his voice sounded absolutely natural, despite all that tension.
"I guess so," Eisuke said, because he was pretty sure Kaito had a plan for the sudden topic change.
"How on Earth do you know him?" Hakuba asked, now looking rather startled.
"It's a long story," Shinichi said quickly, even as Heiji was opening his mouth, no doubt to start ranting about Shinichi passing out in the street. "But he was the one who gave us a list of places you'd been on cases to check. Kaito wouldn't have found you without his help."
"Yeah, I guess we owe him an update," Heiji said.
There was something just a bit calculating in Kaito's eyes as he got up to get his cell phone. "I'll just call the station and see if he's still there."
Eisuke wasn't quite sure what Kaito was planning, but he was willing to watch and wait. He trusted Kaito not to do anything too ill-advised with the situation so delicate. Besides, there was always the outside chance that whatever he was trying could work.
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Normally, Hashimoto Junichi didn't work late shifts. For him, they were nearly always overtime, and he didn't really need overtime pay. Besides, for all that his wife occasionally worked late shifts at her job, he still liked to get home on time when he could on those nights. He wasn't much of a cook, but it was nice to have something ready for her when she wasn't getting home until late in the evening.
But Saguru's case was getting to him, especially with yesterday's visit from...well, he wasn't even sure how to group the kids. None of them particularly claimed friendship with Saguru, half of them weren't detectives, but they were all very concerned about him and it was making Junichi concerned. They'd made a lot of veiled references to Saguru being in danger, and hadn't explained any of them. Which was really weighing on Junichi's mind, frankly, and if he was deliberately distracting himself with overtime in hopes that it would make him feel better about the case he couldn't help with...well, there were worse things he could be doing.
"Hashimoto, phone for you!" the secretary shouted across the office. "It's about a case?"
Junichi picked up the phone, confused. It was weird, for anyone to call him about a case. He wasn't high-ranked enough to be lead investigator on pretty much anything, and he wasn't the station expert on anything, either. Actually, he couldn't really think of any cases he was involved in that anyone would even bother calling about, not this late at night.
"Officer Hashimoto?" the Kuroba kid asked in Japanese. "You asked us to keep you updated on our case, right?"
No, I didn't, Junichi said, heart suddenly in his throat. But if they're willing to tell me something, I'll take whatever information I can get.
"Did something happen?" he asked aloud.
"We found Hakuba-san!" Kaito said, all cheer that had to be fake, somehow, even if Junichi couldn't hear a false note for the life of him.
And then, the information registered.
"You-you what?" Junichi managed. "Is he okay? Can I talk to him?"
"Well, he's here in the hotel room but I don't think he really wants to-" Kaito said.
He led with 'he's here in the hotel room,' Hashimoto thought. Those kids were spinning yarns the second they stepped into the station; if he really didn't want me to talk to Saguru he wouldn't have told me that. He's not trying to keep me from talking to him, he's just making a show of it.
"What if I said you should be a good child, respect your elders, and hand the phone to Saguru?" Junichi tested.
"Then I would hand the phone to Saguru," Kaito said.
"I wasn't aware you knew the meaning of the phrase 'respect your elders'!" a somewhat distant voice sputtered, in British-accented Japanese.
It was unmistakably Saguru, and hearing him, indignant and blustering and alive, loosened something in Junichi's chest.
There was a bit of noise on the line, and then Kaito's distant laughter. And then, just the sound of soft, measured breathing against a field of indistinct background noise.
"Saguru?" Junichi asked.
"Hello," Saguru said quietly, in English.
"I am so glad to hear your voice," Junichi said, in the same language. "Where were-no, that's not important. Are you all right?"
"I am fine," Saguru said stiffly.
Don't sound fine, Junichi thought, suspicious. "So, have those lot talked you around to going home yet?"
Saguru didn't respond. He didn't respond for a worryingly long amount of time.
"Kid?" Junichi asked.
"I'm not-it's complicated," Saguru said. "I'm not certain that my returning would be entirely for the best."
"Wouldn't be-what are you talking about?" Junichi asked. "Do you have any idea how hard your father's been looking for you?"
"Yes," Saguru said, sounding unhappy.
"Was something wrong at home?" Junichi asked, chilled at the very thought.
"N-no!" Saguru all but shouted. "Nothing like that! Father was nothing but good to me-"
"Then why don't you want him looking for you?"
"He shouldn't be preoccupying himself with it," Saguru said. "I thought I made it clear enough when I left, that I was leaving of my own volition, and not planning to return. And yet, everyone keeps putting such effort into finding me."
He actually sounds confused, Junichi thought, more than a little appalled. "Saguru, you've worked missing persons cases, right?"
"Of course," Saguru said. "You were there for a number of them. What is your point?"
"You know that the outlook for a missing person goes significantly downhill after the first few days of an investigation," Junichi said.
"Actually, there's been statistics released; most missing people in the UK return home alive," Saguru said absently. "Japan's statistics are a bit less clear because of issues with our government recordkeeping, but-"
Trust the kid to know that off the top of his head, honestly, Junichi thought, exasperated.
"Yeah, maybe country-wide," Junichi said. "But in London? Or Tokyo, for that matter-"
"You and Father well know I can handle myself alone in cities," Saguru said. "I've done it before."
"We hoped you could," Junichi corrected. "But sometimes we find dead bodies on patrol and ID them from the missing persons board back at the station; you know that. What exactly did you think everyone back home thought had happened to you?"
"Surely they wouldn't think so little of me…" Saguru sounded almost offended.
"It's been two months, Saguru, and even if you'd lived on your own before, you didn't take much with you," Junichi said. "And the fact that as many police as he had out looking for you couldn't catch one trace of a six-foot-tall blond foreigner didn't exactly bode well."
Again, it took Saguru an unnerving amount of time to reply. "I didn't intend anyone to think me dead."
"So, what, we were supposed to think you were fine off on your own?" Junichi asked, maybe more snappishly than he ought to have. "Saguru, I don't know that I've ever really known you when you were fine."
"Perhaps you haven't," Saguru said quietly.
"You got closer, when you were over there in Japan, though," Junichi said. "They put the interviews you did with JNN about that thief whose case you were working on Youtube, you know. You looked...settled in. Less hounded, maybe."
"How do you know that wasn't all acting?" Saguru asked.
There's a trap there, somewhere, Junichi thought, and didn't answer right away. "Was it?" he finally asked.
"More than it should have been, maybe," Saguru said. "But not all of it. Your aunt and uncle were good to me, and so was their housekeeper. But it's not as simple as-" he broke off. "There are things I can't explain to you. Or to them."
"If you're willing to go home, I think they'll be willing to wait," Junichi said. "I think they'll be willing to wait as long as you'll need."
"Will they really?" Saguru muttered, half to himself.
"They never really pushed you to tell them about what happened before you came to London, did they?" Junichi said. "I hardly think they're going to start pushing now, especially if you ask them not to. They're just going to be glad to have you there at all."
Saguru's long silences were starting to get unnerving, at this point. Junichi really hoped someone in the hotel room was keeping an eye on him.
"You're all being bizarrely insistent about this," Saguru said at last.
"Your father and mother are-" Junichi started.
"But why are you so invested in it?" Saguru asked.
Junichi was honestly caught flat-footed by the question. Maybe he hadn't been as close to the kid as he should have been. He had the suspicion, for example, that Saguru would have been better for it if he or Forrester had decided to press things when Saguru had begged off going to eat with the squad after some of their rougher cases. Or even if he'd just taken him aside once or twice and asked if he was up to the case of the day. But he didn't think he'd come off as that uninterested…
"We worked together for a while, Saguru, why wouldn't I care?" he asked aloud, trying not to sound hurt by the question.
Saguru sighed, and it sounded tired. "Why not, indeed? You all baffle me."
Junichi had no idea what to say to that, so he kept his peace.
"It appears that I've...misunderstood some things," Saguru said slowly. "Severely so, even. I didn't realize the effects that my leaving Japan would have."
"Does that mean you'll go back?" Junichi asked, probably a bit too quickly.
"I don't think I could do anything else, and feel right about it," Saguru said.
Junichi let out something between a sigh of relief and a laugh. "Well, you needn't get so excited about the prospect."
"I don't think I could," Saguru said. "This won't be easy. I'm not sure I can do it. But I at least owe it to everyone-"
How did we ever think this kid was okay? Junichi wondered.
"You owe it to yourself, too," he said aloud. "Didn't you tell me you were happy with my aunt and uncle?"
"My happiness isn't necessarily my priority at the moment," Saguru said, and there was something worryingly distant to his tone.
"Don't you think maybe it ought to be, at least some of the time?" Junichi prompted.
"Why don't I see if Kaito wants to talk to you again," Saguru said, suddenly all cool remove.
I guess that means he's had it for the evening, Junichi thought, chagrined, as he heard the phone change hands.
"Thank you," Kaito breathed. "I owe you forever, I swear-just for this, I am staying out of New Cross Gate for the foreseeable future-"
He heard faint laughter in the background.
"Is that supposed to be a favor to me?" Junichi asked, frankly baffled. "Because I wasn't that happy about you poking into active investigations, but it turned out all right, and you seem like an okay kid overall-"
"Nevermind that," Kaito said, quickly enough to be suspicious. "Just, thank you. And...let us let your uncle know, when we show up?"
Junichi sighed. "You'd better have good reasons for that."
"I'm not sure we're heading straight back to Hakuba's house when we land in Japan, and I don't want his parents worrying if we don't show up right away," Kaito said.
"I'm in favor of not worrying his parents, but don't keep them waiting too long, either," Junichi said. "It's been long enough already."
"Believe me, it's been long enough for all of us," Kaito replied. "Thank you again, Officer."
"Thank you, Kuroba-kun," Junichi replied. "Get him home safe, will you?"
"I'll do my best," Kuroba said, and then hung up, leaving Junichi to stare at the office phone and try to process what had just happened.
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Ostensibly, Mihoshi Laboratories was a perfectly legitimate pharmaceuticals corporation. In fact, it was, almost all of the time. But the CEO had a few secrets that they didn't want getting out, so every once in a while, they loaned out their corporate offices, off the record.
Their organization had such arrangements with a number of businesses; Vermouth never bothered keeping track of them so she wasn't certain if she'd been here before. The stark-white color scheme and endless rows of cubicles seemed familiar...but those were ubiquitous in corporate Japan. They blended together after a while.
The computer she sat at was new, but not as new as it could have been. This was inconvenient, but not as much so as the trenchcoat-wearing annoyance who was staring over her shoulder without a hint of shame. A few strands of gray hair actually slithered over her shoulder and trailed down onto the desk. She glanced over her shoulder and did her best to promise him death with nothing but her eyes.
He flinched, just slightly, which clearly meant she still had it.
The fluorescent lights above them hummed quietly, busy keeping the pre-sunrise darkness at bay.
"That person wants this taken care of, as soon as possible," Gin said, tone urgent.
"I've been told the same thing," Vermouth said, with a huff. "Are you really just here to make sure I'm not slacking off?"
"Don't treat this so lightly!" Gin snapped. "We lost high-level people to the arrests in Russia. And if the arrests in America were the same person-one of those people was an alcohol codename."
Vermouth hadn't known that, but she'd sooner take a bullet than tell Gin so. "The way things are right now, most of us are gathered here in Japan," she noted mildly. "I wonder if that person will send one of us out to America to replace them, or promote someone already there."
"I don't think that person's going to be moving personnel around a lot until we figure out who's after us," Gin said.
Vermouth raised an eyebrow. "They're arrests. It's obviously some sort of rogue detective."
"There were explosions in Omsk," Gin said. "The arrests could be a smokescreen. A way to cut down our power so we aren't ready for it when they launch a direct attack."
Vermouth paused, halfway through hacking into the company's secure internet connection. "You really think someone would dare? We'll chew them to pieces so small, no one will even recognize what's left, and the entire criminal underworld knows that."
"They managed these arrests, who knows what they're capable of," Gin said darkly. "We all know what pride goes before, Vermouth."
"Between the hair and the proverbs, you're doing an excellent impression of an old man, Gin," Vermouth snapped, turning her attention back to the computer.
Gin followed her gaze. "At a time like this, you're checking your credit card?" he demanded.
Vermouth closed the page before he could get a good look at it. "That wasn't my credit card," Vermouth said.
She pushed back the chair, deliberately knocking Gin off-balance, and stood.
"Whose was it?" he asked, straightening.
"Never you mind," Vermouth said, shaking out her hair. "All you need to know is that we have a lead. Something relevant is in London. Set your people on it."
"That's all you're giving me?" Gin asked.
"If it's not enough for you to work with, you can let that person know," Vermouth said airly.
She pretended not to hear Gin swearing under his breath as he followed her out.
A/N: Warning for: Discussion of PTSD as a general topic. Ongoing portrayal of PTSD/depression symptoms, including paranoia, poor-self-care, self-worth issues, and a few moments of possible dissociation/flashback (it is left unclear in the narrative). Some discussion of emotional manipulation. Some more general poor coping mechanisms. Discussion of missing persons cases, particularly those with poor outcomes. Discussion of murder. On a less severe note, Saguru taking actions, albeit under dire circumstances, that would be out of character for both his and Kaito's canon characterizations and might be jarring for some people.
I had intended to have Saguru explain in this chapter exactly how he'd obtained money to live on while living on his own, but it felt OOC for him to spill his secrets when he hadn't agreed to return home. So some of it remains a mystery. That said, I realize that depending on who you are, the idea of any version of Kaito keeping things he steals may be a bridge too far for you. Without spoiling later chapters, be assured that most of what he did was not actually theft, but was nonetheless not very legal.